Tony & Wendy's Travel Blog

Up and out early to go Kayaking with Bill on the Jordanelle. Have a great morning kayaking.

Then it’s back home quick change and out to the Flying Aces with Dot and Barrie.

Lazy morning then we’re off for a road trip with Dot and Barrie, for a a picnic at Sundance. Then a leisurely drive over the picturesque highway 92 over the Timpernagos. One of the top trips in America.

I’m leading a Leisure Hike along the rail Trail, up to the hospital where I’ve arranged a talk on health and wellbeing for us geriatrics.

Great talk very well received and then it’s time for lunch in the hospital restaurant before catching the bus back to our cars.

Lazy afternoon. Then in the evening we all troop up to the hospital for dinner on Wendy’s vouchers.

In the evening we sit out on the deck with Sam and Dominique round for drinks.

Up a the crack of sparrows yet again. Some holiday. Off down to the NAC for paddle sports with the disabled. Kayak with a young lad who is non verbal autistic – difficult to communicate. Then in a canoe with a young lad. Hard work canoes.

Afternoon Barrie and I go shooting again. This time we have a .223 assault rifle and then a .22 automatic handgun.

Today’s lesson in life is don’t go shooting with contact lenses in, wear your glasses. Dominant eye is set up for distance vision. Great I can see the target but the gun sights are out of focus. No good me getting me green card and joining the NRA then. Can just imagine if there’s an intruder I’d have to ask him to wait while I take me contacts out and put me glasses on. Then I could shoot him.

In the evening we have a Barbecue with Hal, Carol and Angela coming around. Barrie – AKA The Charcoal King – assists. Of course just our luck it’s Pissing downed hail stones the size of aniseed balls, but no I’m not deterred. Because of the rain we don’t move the barbecue out too far from the house. Net result we set off every fire alarm in the house and have to enjoy the meal with that cacophony as ambient background music.

Just proves my theory about barbecue. Why is it that your average red blooded male chauvinist, who doesn’t even know where the kitchen is, let alone know how to even use a microwave, when confronted with a barbecue seems to regress into a 12 year old boy scout, burst out singing “Sing Gang Gooli,Gooli Gotcha” and want to cook baked beans and sausage on a barbecue. Much better to let her indoors loose in a state of the art kitchen.

I lead a leisure bike ride around the Swanner Reserve. Just under 10 miles. Classic isn’t it, you always get one smart Alec. Everybody enjoys the ride but one nit picker has to post out that the average speed was not 7 but to be precise 7.8 MPH instead of 6 MPH. Oh how I wish I had a speedometer on my bike. Bit of a screw up in the planning department. I arrange the bike ride to end at a local hostelry, but I have to drive in the afternoon, so I’m condemned to some pale yellow water – alcohol free lager.

Home, quick change and shower ready for Archery at the NAC. Angela’s got on the afternoon course so I work with her. She’s really good, has a great stance, listens, remembers and does as instructed.

Lazy start to the day. First lie in of the week.

Manage to get dispensation from her indoors to go 10 pin bowling with the PC Geriatrics (AKA Park City Newcomers), it’s a bit like a teenage version of last of the Summer Wine on steroids, with plenty of high fives and loud, all American salutations – sadly only time for one game.

Home and then we’re off for a picnic up to Mirror Lake and Provo Falls. Typical when we get there it’s raining, whilst the rest of Utah basks in glorious sunshine. It’s also a welcome 20 degrees cooler as it must be about 11,000 feet up.

Up early to go to “This Is The Place”. A Mormon theme park, sort of living museum of Mormon history to celebrate their arrival in Salt Lake after their long trek from Navoo. Quite interesting and entertaining. No rides. Plenty of characters in period costumes. Magic underwear abounds.

Drive back along Emigration Canyon and stop at Ruths Diner for lunch. Finally time to try a Root Beer Float and see if the ice cream therein can turn the popular ALL AMERICAN antiseptic drink, also known as Root Beer, into something that doesn’t make you dash for the nearest spitoon. It seems to do the job, although raw unpolluted Root Beer still taste like antiseptic and no doubt has enough calories to feed a Mormon family of 12 for a week.

Call in at Smiths for Sushi and ribs, but sadly the ribs there’s no ribs despite it being Pioneer Weekend, when the magic underwear brigade celebrate their arrival in Sal Lake. I make no bones about it, you really have to admire those early Mormon pioneers who trekked over a 1,000 miles pulling a handcart with all their wordy goods.

Barrie and I pop to the liquor store for some essential supplies. I splash out on a great Limited Edition Hennessy Brandy I’ve had my eye on.

Evening’s alcohol, sushi and patty.

Lazy morning, a real treat not to have to get up early to beat the heat.

Lazy morning reading the Times, with the depressing news at home from our gutless, bed wetting politicians, most of them so open minded their brains have fallen out. About as much fun as a warm bucket of calf slobber. As for that communist numpty with his forest full of money trees, run by the Trot-Snowflake Momentum caucus. Well false promises abound to tempt the young, like the pied piper, and with aspirations to have the hammer and sickle flying over number 10 and the national anthem replaced with “we’ll keep the red flag flying”. God help us if he ever gets in power, we’ll be back to 60’s with an economy worse than Greece. It’ll be time to apply for asylum over here.

Mind you the World’s not in much better shape. As the Chinese say “we live in interesting times”.

In the afternoon we take a stroll down to the Temple Bar Shalom to A Beethoven Festival recital. Not so much a cultural overdose more like a septic shock to the synapses. Sadly not a full orchestra, just Chamber music. I suppose 200 – 300 years ago this is all they had. No pop music; no iPods; no Netflix; no cinema; no TV. Very uplifting I’m sure.

Lead a leisure Bike ride. Sadly only two of us. Really beginning to wonder whether these will take off. These rides are new this year but the sports club seems reluctant to invest in a bit of advertising them to make members aware. Sad really because there does seem an interest in an easier ride.

I take my tea and have it down in the city park listening to some music from the Beethoven festival. Very pleasant, and better than yesterdays effort, but still not really my cup of tea. Wendy gives it a miss. All very well and good these FREE concerts, but being free doesn’t absolve them from starting on time. People take the trouble to arrive on time.

Dot and Barrie arrive in the evening, after a long drive up from Las Vegas. They’re glad

Major screw up in that I’m leading a leisure hike from Sliver Lake down to Snow Park and also supposed to be going with Barrie to return their car to SLC.

A good bit cooler today. Ideal hiking weather. Do the hike with Wendy and then scoot off down to Salt Lake to pick Dot and Barrie up at the Temple. Have lunch at the Navoo cafe. Then treat Barrie to a trip to the largest Costco in the World. One of the advantages of being World Wide members as opposed to mere Executive UK members.

Early start again. Wendy’s at the CC and I’m NAC kayaking in the morning. One of the young autistic students has several major melt downs. Manage eventually to calm him down by challenging him to a race. It’s really difficult for him.

After lunch Dot and Wendy do a weekly shop, while Barrie and I go up to Campos at PCMR base to buy some more coffee and have one of their superb coffees.

Evening it’s a picnic, beer and wine at the free Deer Valley concert.

Up at the crack of sparrows again and down to the Jordanelle for kayaking with PCMSC.

Lunch time drop Wendy off at the hospital for volunteering.

Take Dot and Barrie on a leisurely drive over Guardsmen Pass; down Big Cottonwood Canyon; stroll around Silver Lake; picnic at Solitude resort; then drive up and down Little Cottonwood canyon; afternoon tea at Snowbird. Explore the archery stalls at Snowbird as there’s a 3 day shoot on. Want one of these new dinky compound bows. Then it’s a leisurely drive back over Guardsmen Pass. Good now it’s all paved black top.

Up and out for a bike ride with Barrie down the rail trail while Dot and Wendy go to the Christian Centre and the Boutique.

After lunch Barrie and I go shooting down at the gun range. Select a 1911 Springfield 9mm. Barrie’s an ace on the range. Unlike me who keeps missing the target because I’m jerking the gun down to avoid recoil. Guy gives me a few tips and get’s me firing with no bullets and that seems to cure the problem. At least now I’m able to hit the target somewhere. Great afternoon, 100 rounds for $78 for the two of us. Wd’ll have to go again. Barrie’s hooked. Meanwhile Dot and Wendy go shopping to the Tangier Outlets – now there’s a surprise.

Eventually meet up at Starbucks then over to Mac shop to buy Dot a 10.5″ iPad Pro, that’s when we can prise the two of them out of TJ Max complete with not one, not two but three handbags – well you can never have too many!

Up late and a lazy morning. We both get to read Jasper a bedtime story. Then after lunch we drive down to Kimball Junction to do part of the millennium trail walk. It is really too hot to be walking at this time of day, but we managed to do the 3 mile loop.

Tempted by a Starbucks to refresh ourselves. Followed by Wendy doing the weekly shop. Fortunately they have some very comfortable lounge chairs to sit in, so I avoid the mistake of going shopping, and we both avoid an expensive divorce.

I need to nip to the world market for some ginger beer. Now the true American would drive the 50 yards. But I just can’t bring myself to be so dam lazy, so like a true Brit I walk. Just un-American, I’ll never get a green card.

All dictated by my iPhone with very few errors. I really do need to get to grips with this technology and learn how to dictate with ease.

Lazy morning with Wendy. Then after lunch she’s off to the CC so I get to do my bike ride.

Anyone with any sense would have gone out at 09:00 instead of in the mid day sun, but I thought I’d get some browny points and stay home with Wendy. Think my bike chain / brain must be slipping.

Ride down to Kimble Junction and scout out a new club ride around the Swanner Reserve. Awesome views of the Canyons and some great birds – feathered kind. Had a hawk pace me and then as he settled on the fence, it was a David and Goliath moment, as this loopy Starling like bird swooped down and attacked the hawk. Ride was about 15 miles by the time I’d ridden down there and back. Much too hot.

Why are these saddles so dam uncomfortable? Why don’t they fit them with Harley Davidson arm chairs?

Dinner out on the patio.

Watch the John Adams mini-series. Awesome history. Just a pity we don’t have the politicians of Adams and Jefferson’s calibre to see us through our independence from the Evil Union.

Catch the bus into the parade along with 120 drunk 16 year olds, crammed in like muslims around the kabah. Like most youngsters they’re all gob, no ears, and some of them a few beers short of a six pack, so they ignore the drivers advice that it’s quicker to get off and walk.

Wow the parades busy, but a good town parade. Why don’t we have parades in England any more? And guess what? The Stars and Stripe was flying every where. Pride of place. Unlike England when the troops went by everyone stands and cheers. No muslims kicking off.

Then we drop our neighbours car off at PCMR car park ready for the fireworks. In the evening we catch the bus to PCMR to watch the fireworks. Thankfully, our Deer Valley approved chairs, come in really useful, thanks to Bob and Marilyn. Fireworks were very impressive but choreography left a bit to be desired.

That’ll teach me to eat vegetables on any day but Sunday as a tooth explodes yet again. It seems to be a regular occurrence out here. This is the 3rd tooth cracked in 3 years. Turns out there can be an issue with fillings done at sea level having an air pocket which when you come up to higher altitudes the pressure in the small air pocket can cause the tooth to crack.

In the morning off down to the NAC for Kayaking, while Wendy’s at the CC.

Lazy afternoon.

In the evening we go round to Hal and Carols for a lovely dinner. Very relaxing sat out on their patio, with awesome views over the Timpernogas.

Up early for a 09:00 Leisure hike with PCMSC. Up and around skid row. Wendy’s at the hospital.

Then in the afternoon it’s appointment with fear. Seems like the only solution is to have it capped. Normally don’t bother with an injection but it’s a massive filling to be removed; unknown dentist; US injections don’t seem to make you drool like a slimy 90 year old for the rest of the day. The other impressive thing is they tend to numb the gums before the needle. 95 minutes later I escape from the torture chamber.

Then it’s off to NAC Archery. Pulling back to an anchor point in the corner of the mouth that you can no longer feel is my excuse for so many misses. .

Ten Pin Bowling with the Park city new comers club in the morning. Whilst Wendy takes the credit cards for a stroll.

Finally get a ride in a Corvette, as Mike and I go round to Starbucks for a coffee. A pretty impressive motor, 480 hp. Enough to kill you at the mere twitch of your right foot.

After lunch I meet Ken down at the park city gun range. Where he takes me through a 2 hour professional weapons training session. Start with theory; then safety; then shoot a traditional revolver; then a neat 9MM, definitely the weapon of choice; followed by the infamous 45; then the notorious AR15 rifle. Thanks to Ken for his time, patience and expertise. Quite a kick from the 45, but the rest aren’t too bad. It certainly makes you realise how important safety is and how difficult it is to be accurate with a handgun. The movies make it look so easy.

Really enjoyed it. What amazed me the most was learning how to use the gunsights properly. At least it’s given me the confidence and safety knowledge to go to the gun range on my own.

Perhaps it’s time for a NRA subscription ready for my water pistol back home!

Up at the crack of sparrows to set off to Sundance for the hike up to the Stuart falls, before it gets too hot. Mind you we could have had another hour in bed as the lifts didn’t open until 10 o’clock. Catch the lift up and then walk down to the falls. Whilst you might think a down hill walk would be easy, this walk needed a machete to cut through the undergrowth and some crampons would’ve been useful on some of the steeper sections. We had to cross two raging streams, with no alternative but to get your feet wet. No doubt we will be suffering from trench foot by the end of the day. The walk from the falls Down to Sundance what’s so much easier. With hindsight we should have saved the $24 lift ride and simply walked up to the falls and then back down.

Good news is we made it. Certainly one of the worst hikes we’ve been on, but we survived.

Day wouldn’t be complete without a trip to the supermarket.

Up and out with Bob, Kevin and Anne to watch the flying aces up at the olympic park. Spectacular show, see pictures.

Then in the evening we had a Barbecue at our place with the Schmitts, Randy, Bob, Kevin and Anne. Hal did most of the cooking thankfully. A good evening all round.

Bob picks me up and then he leads a Leisure Bike ride up to Deer Valley and then back down to the “No Name Saloon”. It’s a hard ride uphill, but has the benefit of downhill most of the way back.

Leisurely stroll into town with Wendy in the afternoon. My it was humid – we were as wet as a water hogs backside.

Kevin and Anne set a new endurance record for shopping. 7 hours shopping at the Tangier Outlets, to be fair they did stop for lunch. And to think that I think a trip to a supermarket with Wendy is worse than having my teeth pulled!

Then in the evening we all go round to Bobs for dinner. Introduced again to a Dark and Stormy cocktail. My sort of drink, need to get some rum.

Wendy and I set off for a walk down to Kimble junction. Wendy buys some electric hair cutters for $10. Cheaper than paying $20 to have my hair cut. I invest in some dark rum to make a Dark and Stormy cocktail.

Nip to the Merril store in Tangier outlets – just 15 minutes – to see if they have any good deals on trainers. I think I’ll wait until we leave. They may come a lot cheaper.

In the evening Anne and Kevin take us out for dinner to Sammy’s Bistro. Bob joins us for pleasant evening.

Wendy’s at the CC in the morning

I’m off to the NAC to help with the kayaking. Turns out there’s no instructors today, so assistant get a hefty promotion. I have a young lad who is autistic and it’s his first time in a kayak. To make matters a tad more difficult I opt for a sit on top kayak. It’s about as squirrelly as a virgin at her her first prom and my pupil keeps ramming into me. My pupil follows me out and then has a major tantrum because he’s got his hands wet. Did no one prepare him for getting a bit wet? Now this is a real challenge. Finally manage to calm him down and get him to enjoy it.

In the evening we all go to the free concert at Deer Valley.

Up early to take Bob to the airport.

Wendy’s at the hospital.

I ride up to the NAC for archery. Again only one student so plenty of practice. Really getting to like these dinky compound bows with their sites and whisper biscuit.

Wendy’s at the CC all day.

I’m off on a bike ride down to Jupiter Bowl at Kimble junction. Then join members of Park City Newcomers Club for bowling. Only $4 for 2 games. Hows that for value. Interesting club. Less strenuous than PCMSC, with activities like bowling, shooting, photography and cards. They even seem relaxed about bridge players not need a Phd in Bridge before they can play.

Then it’s a ride back – 12 miles round trip – back is uphill.

Lazy afternoon, get some reading in.

Independence day party at Jeri and Robs – PCMSC – yes they even allow Brits to attend and I did promise not to sing God Save the Queen.

When you’re here in paradise it makes you realise how big our politicians screwed up in the past. They let countries like the USA, Canada and Australia escape our grasp. Well good for them, I celebrate their independence, let’s hope we get ours from Europe.

I went on one of the many hikes on offer while Wendy stayed at their home and helped prepare for the lunch. Walk was up the Flying Dog trail to the lookout, great views but my second time on this walk. A massive turnout and as usual there was a wide selection of dishes to try and of course Brats. A nice bottle of Pinot Noir helped, but I do so hate having to drink at dinner time – it’s a sin – and brings on other sins like a sozzled sleepi in the afternoon.

Fathers day greetings from all the kids.

Then we pop up to the silly market with Anne and Kevin. Wendy and I walk back and have a lazy afternoon.

Up early to avoid the heat. Off down to Salt Lake. Visit the State Capitol and have an excellent free tour. Very opulent with marble shipped from the East coast when there is a superb and ample supply of granite down the canyons. If it was good enough for the Temple then you’d think it would have done for the State Capital. But there again you have to remember it’s politicians frittering away the hard earned money of the masses.

Well I set the alarm for 04:00 to go for a dawn photo shoot down the Provo River. Sounded really good but it’s dark, had a quick pee and went back to bed – too tired, too early. Give up on the idea until sunrise is about 08:00.

Out for a 09:00 bike ride. Scouting out a leisure bike ride from Boneyard to the hospital. Coffee at the hospital and then ride back to the Boneyard. Should make a good leisure ride and ends at a pub.

Then Bob picks us up for a “Death March” up to the Deer Valley Bear House. Straight up the ski run. A sure way for a coronary. I’d rather come down one. Reward ourselves with a beer on the deck at the “No Name Saloon”. Relaxing up there watching the world go by. As Bob would say “I wonder what the poor people are doing?”.

Wendy volunteering at the Christian Centre whilst I volunteer at the NAC. Great morning Kayaking with the NAC.

Try pumping my bike tyres up. One explodes, I nearly die of fright.

In the evening it’s a free concert at Deer Valley with Bob and Marilyn. Picnic and beer on the lawn.

Wendy volunteers at the hospital. Bob picks me up and we drive up to Bills home to help him load his 3 kayaks and then we’re off down to the Jordanelle for a good morning kayaking around. I was expecting the normal, cheap and cheerful, plastic kayaks. Turns out Bills got the real mcCoy. Fibre glass and slender. Just about manage to fit in. Thankfully manage not to tip it despite waves fit to surf on.

In the afternoon I’m instructing archery with the NAC. As we only have one student and two instructors we have a fun afternoon shooting and trying different bows.

Happy Independence Day everyone – let’s hope our bed wetting politicians deliver and don’t sell us out.

Take Kevin and Anne on a guided tour up over Guardsmen Pass, down Big Cottonwood Canyon, down Little Cottonwood Canyon and then back over Guardsmen pass.

Stop off to do a short hike up to the top of Jupiter Bowl but abandon play when we encounter snow on the trail.

Have a leisurely walk around Silver lake and then set off up to Twin Lake but Wendy’s knee starts playing up half way so we quit.

Have a picnic lunch at Solitude and stop off for coffee and a tour around the camping fair at Snowbird.

In the evening Wendy and I go to the TGIF with Bob.

Lazy start to the day. Fix my exploded tyre.

Wendy and Anne get their weekly fix at the supermarket whilst I take a bike ride down to Quinns Junctions and back to the Boneyard. Just miss running over a snake.

I get a long chat with Jasper. Such a happy chap.

Wendy volunteers at the Christian Centre in the afternoon whilst I nip up to Campos for some coffee. Get a free coffee sat out on their deck enjoying the sunshine and watching the World go by.

Sadly the promised snow did not materialise in the town. They got a sprinkling on the mountain.

Dropped Wendy off at the hospital to volunteer. Bit of a lazy day for me. Too cold and wet for my short bike ride.

Went to an outdoor photography lecture at the library. Interesting.Made me realise how poorly I know my camera. What are all those knobs and buttons for? I just put it on auto and it spews out pretty pictures. Memo to self, explore my camera more.

In the evening we go out for dinner and bridge lessons at Bob and Marilyn’s. Bob knows how to play bridge so he’s taken on the onerous task of teaching the 3 of us. Have a great evening.Great food with spicy carnitas. Great company and thanks to Bob we get to understand the basics. Certainly a complex game and needs good memory and strategy. Seems like having a winking code between you and your partner is out, and no you can’t write things down or use your iPhone. Challenging.

Up and out early with Bob to try out the ride down to Starbucks and back up to the old Barn ready for Fridays “Leisure Bike” ride that Im leading. Wow its a tad cold. Stop at Starbucks for a well deserved coffee. Manager confirms they will do a free coffee tasting at 11:30 for us riders on Friday – just like the US governments promise to the Indians, not worth a bean.

Just get back from my morning’s exertions, when Hal and Angela turn up ready for our afternoon hike. Pick Bob up and off we go with Angela channeling away, picking flowers and playing eye spy. Walk Mid Mountain from Silver Lake down to Deer Crest and then down to Snow Park Lodge. A pleasant, mainly downhill hike. Entertainment provided by Angela, she did really well to complete it.

Anne and Kevin arrive about 21:30 after a long drive up from Las Vegas.

Up and out early with Bob and Marilyn for a great morning Kayaking on the Jordanelle reservoir with the PCMSC.

Lazy afternoon. Took Kevin for an orientation drive around PC and a superb coffee in Campos at PCMR base, while Wendy and Anne get their kicks and fix of the week at the local supermarket.

Then it’s off up to the National Ability Centre (NAC) to teach archery. Turns out that we have 3 instructors and just one pupil. Never mind gives us a great chance to get some practice in with their dinky American compounds – yes there is something in America that isn’t bigger. also have a go with a recurve. A new experience but you wonder whether the arrow will have the get up and go to get to the target. Not for me. Prefer my compound with a bit of umphh in it.

Led the first of new class of bike ride for the Park City Mountain Sports Club (PCMSC). “Leisure rides” are shorter and slower than the “Tour de France” rides normally done by the club. 8 turned up and had a good ride in great weather. Let down by Starbucks at the last minute, their free coffee tasting didn’t materialise. That’s it from now on will have to boycott them and suffer Nescafe – now theres a fate worse than suffering coffee with ISIS. Contemplating organising a protest march.

Relaxing afternoon.

In the evening we go to the PCMSC’s “Dogs and Suds” picnic with Kevin and Anne. No the dogs doesn’t mean you have to bring a dog, it’s merely hot dogs. As for Suds, well they’re beer. Didn’t find that in my “Teach Yourself American” book.You give them a language and oh how they pervert it. Pleasant evening with Bob and Marilyn also.

Up and out early for an easy hike with Bob, Marilyn, Kevin and Anne – Mid-Mountain Empire pass to Payday – followed by a free ride down Payday lift. A tad cold on the lift. Then it’s a Amber Ale in the Legends bar. Took them that long to serve it that by the time it was delivered it had gone stagnant.

Lazy afternoon.

Then in the evening we all go down to the “Full House” Asian restaurant to celebrate Bob and Marilyn’s 30th wedding anniversary, then back to our place for tea and cake. Well wine and no cake for me.

Of course here in the land of the free and the brave everything is just bigger. We go for a walk, while in America you go for a hike. So much more manly. We go for a stroll. Then this gets upgraded to a walk. As for a stroll that reserved for wimps.

Pick Bob up at PCMR base and then Wendy drops us off at Silverlake for our hike across Mid_Mountain trail to Pay Day.

Good start it takes 3 attempts to find which of the 3 trails off to the right is Mid Mountain. Don’t you just love numpty sign posters. Finally we’re on a roll. Should have packed our snowshoes as there’s still patches of snow on the trail. Stop off at the Montage for a rest, water and in Bobs case I think it may be a 3 course lunch he’s bought with him.

Back on the trail and this time there’s a few mountain streams to contend with. No wonder these boots only cost $50, they’re not waterproof. After stream its a solitary moose heading up the trail in our direction. Hey he doesn’t look too big. Hey he’s starting to look bigger. Hey he’s ginormous. Perhaps it’s time to see who can run the fastest. Obviously he doesn’t like the look of us and trots off up through the brush. It’s about 4.9 miles and just under 500 feet.

Meanwhile Wendy and Marilyn take our credit cards out for some exercise and a spot of lunch at the Outlets centre.

Then it’s a slow ride down Payday lift, by the time we get to the bottom I need a haircut.

Pop down to Walmart etc for some thin socks. No chance. They’re all thicker than a sheepskin.

Up at the crack of sparrows to get to the Jordanelle reservoir for 08:00. It’s the National Ability Centre (NAC) training day for Aquatic Sports volunteers – thats me.

This organisation, and I use that word sparingly, does great work with the disabled but when it comes to organisational skills they seem to be severely handicapped. 08:00 start was wrong it’s 08:30. Sadly it’s howling a gale, a trawler has just been seen sinking on the reservoir! They can’t dock the ski boat so it’s a dry land training session. At least we don’t get wet. Looks like a choice of spotter, in the ski boat communicating with driver; jumper, jumping in to help water skier in the water and then picked up by jet ski follower; kayaking; canoeing; paddle boarding. I think I’ll give paddle boarding and jumper a miss – get too wet.

In the evening we pick Bob and Marilyn up to go to TGIF and then go out for dinner at the Grub Steak restaurant.

Up early for a moderate hike, with the Park City Mountain Sports Club (PCMSC) up the Flying Dog Trail to the Beaver pond. Just 5.4 miles and about a 1,000 feet. Quite a good pace at 2.5 MPH.

In the afternoon we go to a violin and piano recital at a local church. Yes, you read that right, church, violin and pianos. Angela, 8 years old, was playing a piece on her violin – a budding Vanesa Mae.

Evening it time for some TV and a luscious bottle of Zin and Zen Zinfandel.

Really lazy day.

Went over to Hal and Carols for dinner. Good to see Randy there too. Great evening with barbecued steaks and Brats. Pleasant sitting out on the patio, putting the World to rights, and watching the sun go down. Wendy and Carol book for us to go see “Book of Mormon” down at Salt Lake.

Up and out for a brief talk on hiking followed by a 3 mile walk. Get about 300 yards into the walk and rain stops play. Dam weather forecasters, wrong again.

Swap the Hertz mobile out. Darnelle had got me a superb upgrade to a full size Chevy Malibu, but alas Wendy can’t see out the back window to reverse and can hardly see out the front. She manages to swap it out for a intermediate Chevy Cruze with plenty of gadget and gizmos. For intermediate read big, it just has to be bigger it’s America

Then as a special treat I get to go to the supermarket with Wendy. Apparently she hates me coming to the supermarket with her, as I pressurise her to escape ASAP. Morale there is simple, I won’t go to the supermarket. Yeah, we’ll all be happy.

Lazy afternoon and in the evening we finish season 5 of “House of Cards”.Not as good as the previous. Too complex.

Well we’re escaping again for 10 weeks in Park City – AKA Paradise without the need for suicide.

Wendy swigs down the last dregs of the brandy in the airport lounge, chomps on her tablets and staggers aboard the big metal bird. Pretty comfortable flight although the seats are a tad close together. A cynic, not me of course, might think it’s a marketing department plot to sell extra leg room.

Atlanta immigration is the usual free for all chaos. They have a cast of hundreds wandering around trying to improve the follow. Sadly they’re not the brightest knifes in the box and they add to the chaos.

Wendy gets interrogated. “Do you have a visa, it’s not showing here.”, “Good job you’re not that Wendy Edwards ” as he looks at photos of the baddies. Then finally “hang on, you need to be interrogated” – computer says. Wendy’s passport is daintily dropped into a sealed clear plastic folder as if it’s some sort of lethal pathogen and we’re led off for a root march around the airport. Finally we’re dumped into a glass goldfish bowl and the doors locked. We’re the only English speakers in there, the majority seem to be sombrero wearers.

One women is extracted. We watch through the sides of the goldfish bowl as she spends 35 minutes having every nook and cranny of her luggage searched. Any minute now we’re expecting the slap of a rubber glove.

Suddenly some wizzened old witch, who looks like she’s one of the three witches in Macbeth, with more metal badges than a Disney worshipper, wraps on the window, points at my mobile and signals me to put it away and sit. By this time I’m starting to think, my visas ok, I’m alright jack, perhaps I should leave the criminal in here and slope off to the airport lounge for some food, wine and relaxation.

Finally after an hour the criminal is summoned to the door and an armed, flack jacketed immigration officer explains that it’s all a computer screw up, Now there’s a surprise, and she can go. He’s fixed it. No it shouldn’t happen again. It’s not normally this busy, hence the delay. No apology.

Dash off to the lounge, so Wendy can get her brandy and tablets ready for the next flight.

Final flight is on time and very comfortable, although I’m sat next to some freak who wants to tell me every random thought firing off in that empty skull of hers. Verbal diarrhoea.

Call in at the supermarket for breakfast and manage to restrain Wendy from marauding the isles. Get back “home” around 22:30 local time, just 23 hours since we left. It’s great to be back and the house feels like home as all our things are in there as we left them.

Up at the crack of sparrows as usual on the first day. It’s just great having all our gear here, along with food and more importantly wine from last time.

Sadly no coffee in the house so having the luxury of a car I toddle off to Starbucks to get some supplies. Having a car is great but it does make you idle.

While Wendy toddles off for her weekly treat with a trip to the supermarket I set off to scout out a suitable 3 mile leisure hike. In true American fashion, everything heres has to be bigger and better, so they call it a hike, but it’s really a walk, to be brutally honest a stroll would be even better. Just 3 miles, with one of the most spectacular espresso’s I’ve ever tasted, at the half way stage.

Carol and Angela pop in to welcome us back.

And by 20:00 we’re ready for bed.

Up and off for a walk to the Silly market. As usual it’s full of tree huggers, jewellery and doggy stalls. Quaint social gathering.

Have lunch / coffee at the Town lift.

Walk back and that’s 5 miles round trip for the day.

In the evening Wendy goes off with the Schmitt family to watch Beauty and the Beast at the Empire. They’ve bought her tickets and thankfully assumed I would not want to go – spot on, I’d rather study the leaves shimmering in the Aspens.

They all enjoy it. Wendy thought it was great and Angela stayed awake all the way through.

Time for a trip down to Costco. Call in at the Archery store first to se about an Archery evening, then it’s a lunch tour around Costco, grazing all the free samples.

Hal and Angela pop round to pick up their piggies. Good to see him, he’s looking good.

In the evening we catch up with “House of Cards’. Don’t think this 5th season is as good as the others.

Wendy’s off to volunteer at the hospital. I go on a PCMSC leisure hike. Just 3 miles to the old Barn. A pleasant stroll.

Meet the Leisure hikes co-ordinator. Find it somewhat bizarre that they should want to discourage “too many” leisure hikes when volunteers are prepared to give up their time.

Leisurely afternoon followed by more of “House of Cards” in the evening.

Wendy’s off volunteering at the Christian Centre. I decide to explore the Lost Prospector and Masonic Trail around Masonic hill. Wow it may only be 3 miles but it tough. I think the moral of the story is don’t try and hike black /expert mountain bike trails. They’re tough for bikers and certainly tough on geriatrics who still have 16 year old mind but not the bodies to match and who haven’t acclimatised to mountain life with limited oxygen – 7,000 feet here.

Pick Wendy up from the Christian Centre. They’re all such friendly soles and Wendy comes out with more bagels, sandwiches and cakes, that will stretch the side of a giant US freezer. Can’t complain, looks like it’ll be butties for tomorrows tea. They get that much donated that anything that they think will go to waste they give out to their volunteers. They sure look after Wendy. I doubt we’ll ever have to buy bakery items ever again.

In the afternoon I go up to NAC Archery range for the Archery instructors course. A bit of a fish out of water surrounded by all these bubbling teenagers who are NAC summer camp volunteers and interns etc. They’re all having a great timed no doubt under age drinking and nookie features in their enjoyment.

More “House of Cards” in the evening.

Another lazy day as I hobble around on my crutches.

Wendy starts the big clean up. I sort boots and get my skis all tucked up in the ski locker ready for next year.

Well it looks like we’ll miss this years Pond skimming at Park City:

Lazy day again. Wendy’s still tidying up. She’s volunteering at the hospital in the morning.

I’m off via Uber to a PCMSC summer activities co-ordinators meeting. I’m co-ordinating a new activity the clubs trying to introduce of leisure bike rides. Good meeting with all the co-ordinaters at Chucks house. Most of them are old hands at this and know one another, I’m the new kid on the block. Free beer, wine and enough pizza to feed the cast of Ben Hur, makes it a very pleasant meeting. Good news is my Percocet seems to be ok with moderate alcohol. I’m resisting swilling the tablets down with wine.

I was planning on leading at least one Leisure bike rides week as well as co-ordinating – leading by example, also leading one Leisure hike a week. Hopefully I’ll be fully recovered and fit enough by June as I was really looking forward to it. If not then I’ll just have to focus on co-ordinating from my sun lounger. Also trying to set up an Archery activity for the club.

Meanwhile Carol and Angela call round to say goodbye.

Then it’s a lazy evening watching TV.

Another lazy day chasing up the insurance company to see whether they can get us on the SLC to Las Vegas and then Virgin upper class to Manchester. They’re a nightmare to deal with. Never ring back as promised. End up going with a Friday flight the 1st class flight to Atlanta and then business class to Manchester – no 1st class on that route so we’ll have to slum it. Gives an extra day to pack etc and enjoy the sunshine on our balcony.

Neighbours bring round corn bread cakes for the cripple, delicious – it’s an American thing.

Moose on main:

https://www.facebook.com/SkiDeerValley/posts/10154435337108314

Leisurely morning packing. As we have lockable cupboard space we have the luxury of being able to leave all our winter clothes, ski gear, skis, mountain bike and foodstuffs. Amazing that suitcase was still pretty full.

Helen and George pick us up at lunch time and we go to the Mexican in Midway for lunch. We’ve heard a lot about it and have to say it’s pretty good. Then we’re off on a tour of camp sites in Heber and Jordanelle. What a gorgeous day it is and so much more fun than another day of cabin fever.

Back home for afternoon tea on the balcony in the glorious sunshine.

We’ve been upgraded to First class. Courtesy of my fractured hip and our new Amex travel insurance. Question is will I ever get travel insurance again with my track record?

All very civilised. Some say I have a break each year just to avoid cattle class.

Delta lounge is very comfortable and a good choice of food and drinks. Access criteria for Delta airport lounge seems to be have a big gut or giant boobs that stops you seeing your genitalia.

But don’t I just love the customer first service where they announce boarding, even send you a text, and then when you get to the gate you have to hang around for another 10 minutes. All for their convenience. Has it never occurred to them that customers get wise to it and therefore ignore boarding calls – result.

First class and no champagne, no brandy, well perhaps they can turn some water into wine then I can sin and drink during the day. You do get a hot meal with proper cutlery, including a knife – obvious no Islamic terrorist would ever pay these prices.

Roomy seats but you can’t stretch legs out horizontally. As for the toilet. Well anyone joining the mile high club in that must be Cirque de Solei contortionist as well as a horny devil. Certainly not worth the money.

Typical married mans interrogation by her in doors.

Wendy: Did YOU turn the heating up at home?
Tony: No.
Wendy: Why didn’t YOU?
Tony: I forgot. Why didn’t YOU turn it up?

Pretty impressive cabin layout. Very similar layout and service to Virgin Upper class. Continental quilts and soft pillows but alas no jim jams. Mind you virgin, only a shadow of its former self, no longer has personal chef or on board masseur.

Best nights sleep since I broke my hip. You can play for hours on these bed / seats, adjusting pitch, angle, firmness. Bugger sleeping tablets. In future for a good nights sleep try a concoction of champagne, red wine, cocktail and brandy. Works like a dream. Wendy’s not so happy too much noise from the spring clean going on in the kitchen. Marvellous, she has a bed, continental quilt, pillow and luxury and she complains.

Flight arrives early and then we have to wait on tarmac because our gates not ready. Bloody marvellous service isn’t it. When we set off they knew to within the minute what time we’d arrive in Manchester and yet they can’t have a gate ready. Great customer service yet again.

No queuing at immigration, straight to the front of the cripples queue.

Home sweet home. Freezing cold but it’s home. Two fan heaters and we’re sorted as central heating takes as long as climate change to heat the house up to inhabitable levels.

Manage to stay awake until 20:00.

Well I had a pain free night. I’m ok if sitting or lying down, it’s just movement that can hurt. Having to sleep on my back all night though is not my idea of slumber bliss. And those dam Percocet give me nightmares, I’m waking up every 30 minutes with the same stupid recurring night mare, on top of that they certainly fuddle your brain. As for pain killing well they’re not that impressive. Decide to give them up in favour of wine. Who knows I can probably sell them as they have a good street value.

Why would anyone want to be in such a befuddled state?

Wendy cancels going to the hospital in case I fall, break something else, need help or in my befuddled sate suddenly have an irrepressible urge to cook a meal or use the dishwasher.

We have a few “discussions” – well really just a monologue from Wendy – about not skiing next year. Too late, I’ve bought next years ski pass.

Lazy day, interspersed with phone calls to insurance company, airlines and doctor.

It take 95 minutes and 11 different department to finally get through to the Amex Emergency Support line to register my incident. When I tried yesterday they even told me they were closed. Unbelievable. What if you’re lying on a gurney, bleeding to death and you need them to authorise payment before the hospital will apply a tourniquet. You’d have no chance. I get through to one department, asked her what her name was and she instantly transferred me to another department. Perhaps they knew her name but it’s dire when the staff are that thick they don’t even know their own name – perhaps they’re all on these Percocet tablets.

Half of them don’t listen, their English is appalling and are just too keen to pass you onto someone else.

After that episode I think a whole bottle of Zinfandel is called for to calm me down and get me back on my surfboard of life.

Barbara pops round to see how we are and offer any help. In true American tradition she’s bringing round a pot roast for us. It’s a standard American response when someones injured, or rambling on about Amex call centres in the aftermath of Percocet.

Got a nice call from Jasper who’s worried that I’ve hurt my leg. He says I’m a “silly Billy” and wants to come back to our American house.

In the evening Helen and George come round for dinner. We finally gave up on the blind dog after exhausting their supply of ink and diaries with so many changes.

What a great evening we had. Italian takeaway and lots of wine, fun and laughter trying to put the World to rights – some of the best medicine, although the state of the world and our crackpot politicians is enough to make you lose the will to live. They really are amazing company, such good friends and have been oh so helpful.

Jere and Diane pop in to see how we are and say good bye. I think everyones wanting to check it out for themselves, they really can’t believe it – they’re not the only ones – and probably suspect it’s a delayed April fools joke.

Another pain free but sleepless night.

Thankfully I’ve now reconciled myself to it. Stopped running endless “if only….” scenarios. Now I’ve got to get on with it, get better quickly ready for our return in summer. And yes I will be back next ski season. Never give up.

Wendy’s decided to trust me, so she’s gone off to the Christian centre for the morning. Meanwhile I’m resisting the urge to venture into the kitchen, watch TV or start drinking wine.

Carol pops round to see the invalid and haVE a chat. In typical American fashion she brings round cookies for us. Then Sharee, past president of the PCMS club, pops round for a chat and with a chilli for our dinner. It’s such an American thing, they’re oh so friendly and helpful anyway, but when someones ill or injured they all rally round. Especially in the PCMS club.

I’ve only been taking these percocet tablets on and off, keeping them to an absolute minimum as they can addle your brain – hopefully only short term. But I’m trying a new regime and taking them consistently, as directed, and it seems that they are so much better at pain relief that way. They have me galloping around the house on my crutches. Who knows cartwheels next week.

Watching TV whilst on percocet is a real challenge. Normally we nod off through most programmes but these drugs have the added advantage of appearing awake but my brains stopped. Yes, it seems that they can stop your brain, put you into a NOOP loop and stop your thinking. Still at least after many repeats we’re both onto the final episode of the “Young Pope”. It’s that weird and quirky that I’m not sure whether its the drugs or the actual crazy programme.

Decide it’s time to venture upstairs to bed, rather than the settee. Manage it ok by shuffling up and back down on my arse. Has all the elegance of a Walrus trying to climb stairs but its effective. Now I know how Daleks must have felt when they encountered stairs in their way of World domination.

Yeah, not a bad nights sleep and the drug induced nightmares seem to have taken flight. At least I’ve not been attacked by the killer clown balloons. Breakfast in bed, how neat is that, and at last a shower.

Wendy’s off down to Tangier Outlets to take part, with Helen, in yet another 100 yard trolley dash – soon to be an Olympic event, followed by lunch. Given Helens stunning ski performance of yesterday – 35,000 feet and black diamonds – I’m surprised she’s not cancelled and challenged George. Just goes to show how much better she can do when not skiing with Jonah. What a hero and role model. She’s had 4 sled rides down the mountain and three broken bones yet still skies – Wendy I hope you’re taking note. Next year she’ll be able to push my ski envelope and get me back on form.

Well the good news is Wendy seems to have given up on the, abandon skiing and take up tiddlywinks monologue. Locals ski pass booked and now I’m sharing a locker next year with George and Helen – so no lugging skis and boots up to the mountain each day.

Quiet day for me. Help fend off rickets with some sun and afternoon tea on the balcony.

Sticking with the recommended percocet dose, not skipping a dose, seems to work best and get the maximum pain relief.

In the evening Barbara and Steve, neighbours, come round for a drink. I could quaff down a good Zinfandel but manage to resist and just have one glass, well perhaps it was nearly two.

Breakfast in bed again. Save a trip back upstairs for a shower.

Uber to the hospital for follow up with Dr Pidwell. What a great service Uber is. You can see exactly what’s going on; timings tend to be accurate; everything charges straight to my credit card; no need for cash and best of all no need for tipping.

Uber back home and drop Wendy off at the Christian centre. I get a quiet afternoon in. What is it with percocet? It helps with the pain but you end up constipated. Feel as bunged up as a Hummingbird trying to lay an Ostrich egg. Pity I’m not allowed to ski, as standing at the top of “Ericas Gold”, merely looking down, is a guaranteed all natural cure for constipation. I’m pretty sure I must be emotionally constipated as well – I haven’t given a crap all week.

A lazy morning.

Hal, Carol and Angela come round for dinner and then Hals got us tickets to the “Blind Boys of Alabama” on at the Egyptian theatre. Not really our thing, but like all things you should try them once. It was a great evening, we really enjoyed it and it had them dancing in the aisles. Quite interesting to see the Americans letting their hair down, how boisterous they can be. Not quite as reserved as a UK audience.

Yet another awesome evening with great friends and new experiences. Thanks Hal for the tickets.

POWDER ALERT, POWDER ALERT. 8″ of Utah’s finest. Crack of sparrows start to catch first tracks. Hang on there, sawbones says no. These crutches make crap ski poles. Bugger. No doubt this will be the last POWDER day of the season. It closes next weekend.

Lazy day instead. Wendy makes a short trip out on the bus to do some shopping.

Then we pack ski boots and gear ready for our departure on Thursday. It’s great here because we’ve got lockout cupboards where we can leave our gear locked up ready for our return in June. Bedroom lockout has all our jumpers, anoraks and ski pants etc hung up, boots, helmets and other gears in duffel bags; kitchen lockout has food, wine and brandy; garage has two lockouts with skis in; mountain bike is left in garage. A real home from home.

Then, after 17:00 of course, we catch up on loads of TV. Really spoilt for choice as we have access to all UK TV, HBO NOW, Netflix, Sky UK and now PBS. Keeping track of them all is a full time job.