Monthly Archives: February 2015

20150204 – Spring Skiing; break out the speedos and bikinis

 

Wednesday – warm and sunny.

 

Jasper's ski helmet. Ready for his debut on the slopes.

Jasper’s ski helmet. Ready for his debut on the slopes.

3″ fresh virgin powder overnight. Up for early tracks and as Tycoons been groomed last night head straight up there for a couple of runs before it gets spoilt. Overall a good mornings skiing.

Wendy’s volunteering at the hospital.

In the evening Phil and Ruth come round for a drink. They’re from Brisbane. I met them on the mountain, we got chatting, and it turns out they’re doing their first home exchange in Lawrence’s place down at Kimbal Junction, where we did an home exchange 2 years ago.

Last week it was the Democrats that I ranted about, as promised this week we turn to the Tea Party. Here’s their “Non-negotiable” Core Beliefs:

1. Illegal aliens are here illegally.
2. Pro-domestic employment is indispensable.
3. A strong military is essential.
4. Special interests must be eliminated.
5. Gun ownership is sacred.
6. Government must be downsized.
7. The national budget must be balanced.
8. Deficit spending must end.
9. Bailout and stimulus plans are illegal.
10. Reducing personal income taxes is a must.
11. Reducing business income taxes is mandatory.
12. Political offices must be available to average citizens.
13. Intrusive government must be stopped.
14. English as our core language is required.
15. Traditional family values are encouraged.

 

Thursday – warm and sunny.

 

Wendy’s mountain hosting on the plaza.

Now riddle me this. Wendy sends into lost property, one ski. How does that occur? Is there someone on the mountain performing leg amputations?

A great days skiing with Carol and Hal.

Here is the first of a list of top 15 of the dumbest things the smart dudes from the TEApublicans have said:

“People now don’t die from prostate cancer, breast cancer and some of the other things.” – Chris Collins, New York GOP State Rep.

“You would be giving off more CO2 if you are riding a bike than driving in a car.” – Ed Orcutt, Washington GOP State Rep., stating that bicycles pollute the environment more than cars do.

“Oh, no, we’re not going to have any casualties.” – George W. Bush discussing the Iraq war.

“So Miss Fluke, and the rest of you Feminazis, here’s the deal. If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex. We want something for it. We want you post the videos online so we can all watch.” – Rush Limbaugh

“I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you… rape victims should make the best of a bad situation.” – Rick Santorum

 

Friday – hot and sunny.

 

Another spring skiing day. Go up to Deer Valley with Hal. I think we’re both feeling burnt out muscles from yesterdays tour de force.

Have a good day skiing though. I take a mid morning coffee break, while Hal tries Mayflower and some of the blacks over that side. Perseverance look really good but my legs are knackered so I need to save that for another day. We both survive Wizard, a double blue, sheet ice and bodies everywhere.

I think by the end of this tour I’ll be speaking fluent American at this rate.

More of the top 15 of the dumbest things TEApublicans have said:

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.” -Todd Akin

“When a physician removes a child from a woman, that is the largest organ in a body. That’s a big thing. That’s a big surgery. You don’t have any other organs in your body that are bigger than that.” – Mary Sue McClurkin, Alabama GOP State Rep.

“To redefine marriage is discriminatory towards those who hold the sincerely held religious belief that it is a sacred institution between a man & a woman.” – Illinois state Sen. Kyle McCarter (R), in response to the state Senate approving same-sex marriage in Illinois.

“I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. I think that even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.” – Richard Mourdock, Indiana GOP U.S. Senate candidate.

“There is no one who doesn’t have health care in America. No one. Now, they may end up going to the emergency room. There are better ways to deal with people that need health care than this massive new program.” – Phil Bryant, Republican governor of Mississippi.

”Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.”-Rush Limbaugh

 

Saturday – hot and sunny.

 

McConkeys and Jupiter bowl.

McConkeys and Jupiter bowl.

My first day as a plaza host. Up for the 07:30 workers bus; briefing 08:00; down in rentals until 10:00; plaza for the day; meet Wendy for coffee / her lunch; back to plaza; down in the bowls of the earth again for rentals from 15:30. Fortunately only 3 more of these to do, much prefer mountain hosting – at least you get to ski.

Boy was it hot and sunny. I’d slapped a load of that gunge on, but one of the managers was so concerned that my baldy pate was rapidly becoming a red nose beacon that she bought out a PCMR cap for me – how very kind.

Another cruelty to snow day.

More of the top 15 of the dumbest things TEApublicans have said:

“[America has to import so many workers because] for the last 35 years we have aborted more than a million people who would have been in our workforce.” – Mike Huckabee

”The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” – Pat Robertson

“He is purple – the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle – the gay pride symbol.” – Jerry Falwell’s warning to parents that Tinky Winky of Teletubbies, may be gay.

“Some girls, they rape so easy” – Roger Rivard, Wisconsin GOP State Rep.

“Stripping your freedom is not a pipe dream but a reality! Fema Camps are already built and waiting for you! They’ve been practicing for Martial Law and the great round-up of citizens in the 300-acre fake city Obama had built in Virginia. Do NOT dismiss this under any circumstance. It is serious.”

 

Sunday – hot and sunny.

 

Another spring skiing day. I’m up on King Kong mountain hosting – extra day. Early morning skiing is treacherous, especially on Temptation, skied out and icy.

By lunch time the 50F heat has done it’s job and the snows softened up. But oh so hot and sunny – spring skiing. Get a code green – euphemism for lost child. In this case it was two lost kids and Grandpa was in deep trouble with his daughter back in Ohio. All resolved successfully.

Did a few single run guest tours. Nice thing is we’re encouraged to ski, so much better than the plaza. By 15:30 the bases was a giant slush puppy. Makes for hard skiing. Even Silver Queen was a mogul slush puppy.

Here are the first of the top ten reasons you might just be an unfortunate member of the Tea baggin’ community:

1 You don’t want the U.S. Government to spend money, unless it’s on you of course. (You loudly yell about how much you hate the idea of government spending while at the doctor’s office as a Medicare beneficiary.)

2 You think comparing Obama to monkeys and chimps is NOT racist; they just both adore bananas I suppose. (It’s the only similarity I was trying to point out while bringing my stuffed monkey to a Sarah Palin event, I swear.)

3 You think Hawaii is more “foreign” than the Panama Canal because in 2008, Obama was deemed a non-citizen by crazy “Birthers” even though he was born in Hawaii, which is an actual state. (His opponent, born on the freakin’ Panama Canal, is just a U.S. military base. But I’m sure race, again, had nothing to do with it.)

4 You truly believe that Obama is similar to Hitler; because, you know, wanting to give millions healthcare is the same as supporting genocide… (Affordable healthcare, gas chambers — YES! I see the connection!)

5 You reason that “The key to being safer is MORE guns.” (We will never be safe until the gun to person ratio in the United States is at least 2:1.)

 

Monday – rain and snow, too warm.

 

Can’t believe it, rain in the town. That’s the first time in 11 years of skiing we’ve ever experienced rain in the town, rather than snow. Bloody climate change. If it spoils the skiing then it really is urgent that governments start taking notice.

Here are the remaining top ten reasons you might just be an unfortunate member of the Tea baggin’ community:

6 You believe that racism in general is just a silly concept Liberals throw around to make people angry… while holding signs like these: racist teabagger

7 Incredulous statements are a requirement for public office: “It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be abstinent alone,” — former Delaware Senate Candidate, Christine O’Donnell.

8 You complain that nothing’s getting done, while simultaneously being the chief reason that nothing gets done. (House of Reps anyone? Bueller…?)

9 You think you can control the country even though Obama was elected twice, in basic landslides, and your own party is starting to hate you. (As we bow our heads, let us thank the good Lord that comes in the form of gerrymandering.)

10 You pretend to be Christian, but you really pray to Ronald Reagan. (Why has he not been sainted? I’m confused.)

 

Tuesday – warm and sunny.

 

Red sky over the slopes.

Red sky over the slopes.

Thank Chione for the 3″ of snow overnight. Made all the difference.

Skied with the PCMSC Tipsy and Taco group. Ski until 14:30 and then meet up for Margaritas (tried one the other week, never again) and Mexican food. Settle for a couple of pints of cutthroat – broke one of the 10 laws of retirement yet again. Wendy joins us for a glass of water.

According to the Tea Party, here’s what they (government) are going to do:

Grab our guns and leave us defenseless!

Grant amnesty to tens of millions more illegal aliens to kill your vote!

Extinguish free-speech, crush it anywhere it exists!

Intern unlimited numbers of US citizens without cause!

Brand conservatives and the Tea Party as terrorists!

Teach our children that sexual perversion is normal!

Strip your wealth by taxing you to death and give it to the world to consume!

Make all private homes government housing!

Outlaw certain foods and gasoline-powered vehicles!

Bypass then reduce and eliminate Congress!

Make states accountable to the UN!

Reduce our military by 90%!

Remove our borders!

And we think that UKIP are extreme and off their rockers?

20150128 – Mountain Hosting

 

Wednesday – warm and cloudy with the possibility of some snow – we hope.

 

View from above the clouds at Park City.

View from above the clouds at Park City.

Looks like there was an inch of snow overnight, so although it’s almost a whiteout with the clouds there’s a nice smattering of powder on top. Makes for pleasant skiing. Still praying to Chione for more.

Meet Carol at the Snow Hut and have a good mornings skiing with her.

Wendy’s working at the hospital today so it’s going to be a hospital restaurant tea tonight.

Booked most of our summer trip. We’ve a week at our caravan in the Loire Valley; drive over to Italy via Geneva; a hosted home exchange in Verona (never done a hosted exchange so we’re both a little nervous, but will give it a try); then a VRBO in the Tuscan country side just outside Florence; a VRBO in Padua, so hopefully get a few days in Venice; back to caravan in Loire up the coast of Italy (still got to plan that).

Looking for VRBO or home Exchanges can be a nightmare. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people are when advertising their properties. The really stupid ones don’t bother with any photos; those that show you the inside of their property just after a bombs hit it and in serious need of tidying up and removing cast off socks and underwear; finally you have those that have 36 photos of everything from a garden tap, to a staircase, fields and their town, but not a clue as to what the inside of their property looks like. Makes you wonder whether they’re truly so dim witted or just trying to hide something.

One of the predominant Italian themes seems to be having a crappy, uncomfortable looking settee in a lounge, covered by a tatty shell shocked blanket, but so uncomfortable that there’s no chance you’d fall asleep, even through East Enders after a full bottle of red wine. Best of all they have an ancient TV, probably built by John Logie Beard himself, and positioned behind the settee so that you need to be an owl with 180 degree head rotation to see it. What planet do these chuckleheads live on.

 

Thursday – cold and sunny.

 

Set out skiing at lunch time. 13:00 start my free ski workshop – euphemism for ski lesson, but sounds so much more macho and competent.

Drop my skis of for repair. For the first time ever here, in 12 years, they’ve had a altercation with some rocks. The rock won. Need some deep poly filler and welding.

Benedict Cumberbatch (never heard of him), who appeared in 12 Years a Slave, has called himself an idiot for using the word “coloured” when talking about black actors not getting enough opportunities.

Pathetic. If not coloured, then is black the PC flavour of the month? It certainly seems to be the popular term in the US. What term should we use – non-White, sunburnt, Pantone 426, heat absorbent, spectrum challenged. These Nazi PC storm troopers need to get a grip, at this rate we’ll be running out of PC acceptable words in the English language.

 

Friday – cold and cloudy. Need the trees or a sprit level to help stay vertical.

 

Continued skiing after lunch with a guy called George – great days skiing.

Town lift on a typical sunny day.

Town lift on a typical sunny day.

I’ve had my say on Republicans – the GOP – now it’s the turn of the Democrats. You Might Be A Democrat If…

You’ve ever said, “We really should call the ACLU about this.”
You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
You ever based an argument on the phrase, “But they can afford a tax hike because…”
You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
You can’t talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.

 

Saturday – cold and sunny.

 

What an awesome mornings skiing.

Quit at lunch time by which time the best of the virgin powder been churned into a haggard old slush.

After lunch Wendy and I take a bus into Main Street to see what all this Sundance fuss is about. Then have a stroll down to Starbucks for a Clover moment – Ethiopian Konga supposedly has the flavours of strawberries and berries, although I can’t taste them it is a flavoursome coffee and leaves a gorgeous after taste. Lash out and buy a packet.

You might be a Democrat if:

You don’t understand why anyone was bothered by Jane’s trip to Hanoi.
You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
You’ve never been mugged.
You actually expect to collect Social Security.
You think the Great Society has actually worked.
You don’t see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
You got teary-eyed during the film “The American President.”
Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.

 

Sunday – warm and sunny.

 

Early morning Mountain Host view from the sunglasses hut meet and greet.

Early morning Mountain Host view from the sunglasses hut meet and greet.

You might be a Democrat if:

You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
Your High School Year Book goals included the words “help people.”
You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
You know at least one Vegan.
You’d rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.

 

Monday – snow first thing and then sunny.

 

Victor does his Mountain Host stint, being helpful and nice to guests.

Victor does his Mountain Host stint, being helpful and nice to guests.

It’s a centenary celebration day. We’ve had another inch of powder overnight. The flags should be flying, bands playing and we should all be bowing, freezing our tongues to the snow, in worship of Chione – Goddess of Snow – as we’ve now topped the “100 Inches of snow this season mark”.

Met George at the top of Summit for a days skiing. Hal was out too, so he joined us. Two advanced skiers. Try following Hal doing those controlled short radius turns of his and at the same time remembering all Mike (instructors) tips. A real challenge but worth it.

Have a great days skiing until about 14:00. Must have got about 18 runs in.

Sunday was last day of Sundance Film Festival. What a nightmare, bubble heads everywhere, how those bus drivers cope I’ll never know.
Buses were absolute chaos. I came home and just had to have a Victor Meldrew moment to cope with it. Fortunately Wendy found all the episodes of “One Foot in the Grave” on Youtube. I was amazed that they were all available

After two episodes from season one I’ve regained my composure. Awesome, a fantastic cure all.

Now at least the town and the bus service should be back to normal.

You might be a Democrat if:

You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.
You think the anti-war protestors from ’60s are the real heroes.
You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer’s stash.
You think Michael Jackson was a great example of diversity.
You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
You admire the Swedish welfare system.
You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
After looking at your pay stub you can still say, “America is undertaxed.”

 

Tuesday – cool and sunny.

 

A couple of inches fresh snow last night.

Meet the PCMS group for a good days skiing followed by Margaritas in the Baja Cantina. Not for me. Tried one last week and that was enough.

Wendy looks after Angela in the afternoon. iPad games and watching Annie keeps her engrossed. Easily pleased.

Taking down the Christmas tree lights at one of the houses. People pay upwards of $500 per tree to have them decorated.

Taking down the Christmas tree lights at one of the houses. People pay upwards of $500 per tree to have them decorated.

After the other mornings debacle I can now understand why US healthcare is in crisis. A cast of thousands involved in billing and yet only a few doctors and nurses. Its a totally fragmented screw up. You pay your bills, then find you’ve a debt collector on your back for some blood works done 6 months ago that you’ve never been billed. Ah separate department. Our contracted provider can’t see the amounts involved or bill you. A so called customer service numbskull explains it all to me “it’s all too big and complicated to be dealt with by one department, YOU’LL need to ring the lab, I can’t ring them”. When asked if she really worked in “Customer Services” and could comprehend what those two words meant she hung up. It turns out that the lab did send an invoice to Rydal mount, Park City. I wonder why we didn’t get it? They did have the correct address, I should know as we had to quote it over 4 times in trying to get through to the right department. “Oh I’m sorry sir we can’t email you the invoice, we’re still using quill pens and left over blood for ink”. No email – yes this is the 21st century – and the good old USA still believes it leads the World.

2 bloody hours of frustration to unscramble this. Then to add insult to injury Skype just goes down just as you’re getting the final piece of the jigsaw. Typical SNAFU. Conclusion “the whole World is F..ked up, especially anything involving IT or computers”.

It really is time we introduced Saturday afternoon feeding of the perpetrators of this crazy, senseless, software and marketing driven crap, to the Lions in a local Colosseum. Just think of the benefits. Free entertainment for the masses. No need to pay ludicrous salaries to chuckleheads, who’s brain are so far under developed that they can only kick a ball around and attempt to water the local football pitch by gobbing on it every 38 seconds. Helps with natural selection by weeding out the common senseless. The threat of becoming Lion fodder improves software, customer service and eliminates marketing aimed at our exploitation.