Monthly Archives: August 2014

20140824 – Last days; Homeward bound

Sunday – warm and sunny.

First snow fall on Jupiter and it's only August - exciting

First snow fall on Jupiter and it’s only August – exciting

As we’ve got a car we’re off out for the day.

Drive out over Guardsmen Pass and then down into Midway – stunning views. Down Provo canyon and turn right up the Alpine Loop road, past Sundance ski resort and around the Timpanogos. Take a slight detour down to Cascade Springs, then back onto Alpine Loop road for more stunning views and eventually get to the visitors centre at Timpanogos cave. All free as our National Park pass – America The Beautiful – covers us.

Have a shifty around the small visitors centre at the caves, lunch in the car and then a short nature trail down to a swing bridge that doesn’t swing.

Then drive to Little Cottonwood canyon. Call off at Snowbird. Honestly I had no idea there was a Oktoberfest

Timpanogos

Timpanogos

on – see rant below. Then onto Alta but alas no where “nice” for afternoon tea / coffee, so Wendy dips out.

Drive up to Big Cottonwood canyon past Solitude – still as empty as ever – and then back over the spectacular Guardsmen pass and back home.

A 6 hour drive but some spectacular scenery and worth it.

More wisdom from George Carlin:

Crystal springs

Crystal springs

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and He needs money.

The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.

If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse.

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.

Has the World gone completely mad or is it just Utah.
Gentle nature walk in the Timpanogos

Gentle nature walk in the Timpanogos

We call in at the Oktoberfest at Snowbird. My eyes light up and I’m orgasmic at the thought of it, already drooling like a geriatric boxer dog.

1st – we need to see ID to buy a drink. For Chiones sake whatever happened to common sense. Flattering as it may be to think that I look under 21 it’s just as crazy as believing the sun isn’t real because it got dark last night.

2nd – how can you sell Bud and other American pinkle waters at a beer festival. It’s a complete violation of any trade description laws they may have over here.

3rd – I remember I’m driving and Wendy’s not insured on this Enterprise mobile. Not too bad as they’re mainly what I’d call perverted beers rather than any proper German brews, so I’m not too devastated. Then we encounter one stall selling Hofbrau – the only decent beer in the whole place. In bottles too! Now I’m excited, nay orgasmic. A couple of them to take home will do me just fine. Oh no! Not allowed to sell bottles to take home / out, Utah laws. Have to open the bottles and drink it here. Ironic isn’t it there’s all these people drinking, and judging by the number of cars driving, yet, I’m for zero tolerance to drink driving and I can’t take even a single bottle home. Moronic when you really think about it.


Monday – warm and sunny.

Pick Hal up and head off to the Timpanogos caves.

Essential requirements to get a green card:

Drive a gas guzzler and never be caught walking.

Drink coke or Dr Peppers out of a 52 ounce plastic cup.

Have a giant gas barbecue. Use it every time the sun comes out and to boil the kettle on.

Be able to say that all important American phrase like “Go f..k yourselves” with gusto and meaning.

Treat Stop signs with reverence and ignore any rules of the road on roundabouts.

Join the NRA and make no jokes or derogatory remarks about them or guns or the 2nd – after all look what happened to Piers Morgan.

More GC:

Obviously problem - people in Salt Lake mow their lawns and then bring their cutting all the way unto the Timpanogos to dispose of them.

Obviously problem – people in Salt Lake mow their lawns and then bring their cutting all the way unto the Timpanogos to dispose of them.

The Civil War. Now there is another phrase I dearly love. That is a true oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one: “Civil War.” Do you think anybody in this country could ever really have a civil war? “Say, pardon me?” (shoots gun) “I’m awfully sorry. Awfully sorry.”

So maybe it’s not the politicians who suck; maybe it’s something else. Like the public. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: “The public sucks. Elect me.” Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Where are these people hiding? The truth is, we don’t have people like that. Everyone’s at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. And complaining about the politicians.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

I don’t like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: “Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘There is no “I” in team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. But there is an “I” in independence, individuality and integrity.’” Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, “We’re the So-and-Sos,” take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it’s unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don’t participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you’re not a team player, congratulate them on being observant.

In the latest blow for free speech, the government of the southern Indian state of Karnataka has passed
Snowbird Oktoberfest

Snowbird Oktoberfest

legislation that makes it illegal to upload, share, or like content with a view to hurt religious sentiments knowingly or unknowingly.

Back in June, Karnataka police warned citizens about the type of things that were covered by the Information Technology Act:

Citizens are warned not to upload, modify, resend (forward) and like (share) malicious or misleading images, videos and messages through any medium with a view to hurt religious sentiments knowingly or unknowingly. Citizens are encouraged to inform the Police Control Room at…


Tuesday – warm and sunny.

American pinkle water at Snowbird Oktoberfest

American pinkle water at Snowbird Oktoberfest

Why do the top of my legs feel like they’ve been through a mangle. A mere 1 mile and 1,100 feet yesterday. I thought I was fit.

Must be the walk down. Steep and constant braking to avoid those edges.

Run around day. Wendy’s packing and I’m doing last minute tasks; storing bikes and chairs; returning faulty hiking boots.

Now that’s another thing we so love about America. My new hiking boots had a nobble drop off the sole. Only had them 3 months so I take them back. In typical British fashion I’m all ready with the arguments and have Kurt’s phone number on seed dial ready for a court case.

But no it’s so simple. Guy apologises. I can have money back or replacement, no problem. Drops peg legged on the floor. Admits that they’ve had the odd problem with these and recommends a replacement with a vibram sole. Mine were $80, vibrams are $120. Play the destitute pensioner card. He offers a deal at $96. Hmm… and argh, try them on. “Go on then, I’ll pay the extra $16”. Guy “No go on you can have them as a straight swop”.

What cracking service and a $120 pair of hiking boots for only $80. Impressed.

Drop of the Enterprise car, a nice Suburu Outback, less than half the price of a Hertz mobile. Enterprise drop me off at hertz to pick up my car. Hertz are twice the cost of Enterprise but they have no one way fee. No one there at hertz they’ve had a power cut. Have to chase them up. Another nail in their coffin.

Snowbird Oktoberfest

Snowbird Oktoberfest

In the evening we pop round to Rick and Lynda’s to drop off concert chairs and coolbox. No time to stop for a drink with them as we’re off to Todd and Nancy’s for drinks. They live in a gorgeous place up in Deer Valley. And when I say up I do mean it, need the oxygen masks. Have a lovely evening, they’re so easy to get on with it’s as if you’ve known them for ever.

Must say it’s a real American trait this friendliness and openness. So easy to make friends, a much more friendly and caring society.

More GC:

Timpanogos cave - Hal at the top

Timpanogos cave – Hal at the top

Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren’t they? They’re all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you’re born, you’re on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to know about you. They don’t want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.

I don’t understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. F..king is legal. Why isn’t selling f..king legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away? I can’t follow the logic on that one at all! Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people. In civilian life you go to jail for giving someone an orgasm.

There are over seventeen thousand golf courses in America, they average over one hundred and fifty acres a piece. That’s three million plus acres, four thousand, eight hundred and twenty square miles. You could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist, there’s another thing; the only blacks you’ll find at country clubs are carrying trays. And a boring game. A boring game for boring people. You ever watch golf on television? It’s like watching flies f..k!

Visit Comcast store – abandon hope all yea who enter here.
Inside Timpanogos cave

Inside Timpanogos cave

Me: “How do I terminate my Comcast account?”

Bimbo: “I don’t understand your question. What’s your address?”

Me: “Well how’s my address going to help is there some psychic mind reading artificial intelligence in your address database? Or am I speaking a foreign language and there’s a translation service in your address database?”

Bimbo: Look of total confusion and despair.

Me: “Look. Let’s try another way. How do of cancel my account? On the basis it took 4 days to set up I’m anticipating a major traumatic experience. Can I just bring my equipment in and jobs a good un?”

Bimbo: “Yes that’s all you need to do.”

Terminate obviously no longer a word in the English language or is it just another product of Utahs education system?


Wednesday – warm and cloudy. A fitting day to be leaving.

Inside Timpanogos cave

Inside Timpanogos cave

We leave today. Sad, but we’ll be back.

Finish off last minute packing. Gird me loins and return equipment to Comcast. Amazingly turns out easy. 4 nightmarish days to get set up and 4 minutes to terminate, sorry cancel. Seem to have got it wrong somehow.

Go round to Carol and Hal’s for lunch and to drop off two black bags of winter gear. Our bikes and skis are in the garage at our winter 2015 home. Say our sad goodbyes. They’ve been such good friends and we’ve had great times with them.

Then it’s off down to Salt Lake airport in our luxury Chevy Impala from Mr Hertz. Mind you the way they’re shaping up these days I think I’ll be using Enterprise more in future. Fewer problems and half the price.

Packing ready for home.

Packing ready for home.

Drop heavy luggage off with Sky Captain. Yes you have to tip but no queue and they’re less picky about the weight, the dollar rules.

Abandon hope all yea. TSA pre-checked so at least we kept our underwear on. No lounge and not a decent sandwich to be seen, looks like we’ll starve. I’d rather hand out bacon butties to the taliban than suffer Delta’s food.

In cattle class, so it’s two sleeping tablets, a few glasses of red and I’ll be asleep like a log. Cheaper solution than business class.

Timpanogos cave - view towards Salt Lake.

Timpanogos cave – view towards Salt Lake.

Good news on these sleeping tablets apparently there have been reports of people doing things while they are asleep after taking this medicine that they do not remember when they wake up. These include sleepwalking, ‘sleep-driving’, making phone calls and preparing and eating food. These events may be more likely if you drink alcohol.

“Preparing food”, that’ll be a novel first for me.

Fear not Wendy’s promised to pinch me awake if I suddenly make a somambulant dash for the on board galley.

On board and this geezers rattling away in French. Looks like we’re going to Paris. Meanwhile for our entertainment we get to see the spatially unaware numpties try to get their giant oversized travel trunks into the handbag sized overhead lockers. For Chione’s sake it’s not a Tardis on there.

More GC:

And you might have noticed something else. The sanctity of life doesn’t seem to apply to cancer cells, does

Timpanogos cave.

Timpanogos cave.

it? You rarely see a bumper sticker that says: “Save the tumors.” Or “I brake for advanced melanoma.” No, viruses, mold, mildew, maggots, fungus, weeds, E. Coli bacteria, the crabs. Nothing sacred about those things. So at best the sanctity of life is kind of a selective thing. We get to choose which forms of life we feel are sacred, and we get to kill the rest. Pretty neat deal, huh? You know how we got it? We made the whole fucking thing up!

Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

Here’s some bumper stickers I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child whose self esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.” “We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers’ attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters.” “We have a daughter in public school who hasn’t been knocked up yet.” “We have a son in public school who hasn’t shot any of his classmates yet. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. Plus he knocked up your daughter.” “We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus.”

Well it’s airport day today so I thought this rant from George Carlin might help set the tone for the day:

Timpanogos cave - frightening views.

Timpanogos cave – frightening views.

The British cleric suspected of radicalizing dozens of Islamic State recruits, including the man believed to have beheaded American journalist James Foley, called jihadists “noble,” and predicted Shariah law will soon rule the West.

Anjem Choudary, whose extremist group Islam 4 UK was banned under a terrorism crackdown, praised Britons who have traveled to Syria and Iraq to fight for Islamic State and said he hopes Shariah Law takes hold in the United Kingdom in an interview with FoxNews.com.

“If Muslims go anywhere in the world to defend their brethren, this is a good thing. Of course it should be permitted to go and fight,” said Choudary. “Anyone who goes and stands alongside them [the fighters in Iraq] is noble. In anyone’s book it is the right thing to do.”

Choudary, 47, denied motivating the Islamic State member known as “Jihad John,” and suspected of beheading Foley, to join the group and even suggested video of the gruesome act, released on Aug. 19, was fake.

British Prime Minister David Cameron has called Choudary “one of those people who needs to be looked at seriously in terms of the legality of what he’s saying because he strays, I think, extremely close to the line of encouraging hatred, extremism and violence.”

So why is he stilling living here on our benefits system? Grow some gonads and kick him out.


Thursday – hot and sunny.

All flights were good and on time. Think the long overnight to Paris and then a 90 minutes to Manchester works better than the Salt Lake to Atlanta then Atlanta to Manchester. Arrive home mid afternoon but that’s no bad thing as you have less time to stay awake.

Well the sleeping tablets and red wine regime worked. 5 hours good solid sleep nothing disturbed me. Can’t remember eating my dinner, it’s a complete blank, and Wendy says I was rambling away to myself much to her annoyance. Good news is I didn’t try and do any cooking.

Devastated, apparently I’ve lost one of those dam flight socks whilst I was in my rambling coma. Oh dear, how sad. I’ll have to take agues next time as to which legs going to get the DVT.

Well it’s 6 weeks at home now. Mustn’t comment on the weather here in Belthorn or complain or else my minder won’t feed me.

GC again:

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Rights aren’t rights if someone can take them away. They’re privileges. That’s all we’ve ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges. And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter. You see all, sooner or later. Sooner or later, the people in this country are gonna realize the government does not give a f..k about them! The government doesn’t care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare or your safety. It simply does not give a f.k about you! It’s interested in its own power. That’s the only thing. Keeping it and expanding it wherever possible.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

When it comes to God’s existence, I’m not an atheist and I’m not an agnostic. I’m an acrostic: the whole thing puzzles me.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

Now we know why the Terrorist threat alert has been raised to severe:

The terrorist group al-Qaeda has published a manual in which it encourages followers to bomb British targets including Sandhurst, the MI5 headquarters and high profile department stores.

The media arm of al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) this week published a nine-page how-to guide in its English-language magazine on making car bombs and suggests terror targets in the UK and the US.
The publication suggests jihadists target the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst, Thames House in London and department stores during Friday prayers, so as to avoid harming Muslims.

20140817 – Flying Aces (don’t try this at home); Scuba in a hot tub; Busy, busy week.

Sunday – hot and sunny.

 

Flying aces stunt show at the Olympic Park.

Flying aces stunt show at the Olympic Park.

Pleasant morning, coffee and wifi on the deck before the sun comes around.

Then a scream goes up “Oh Tony. Aghh……..”. Apparently our friendly squirrel has just managed to get in the house and given Wendy a fright of her life as she sees this grey thing streak out the house. Fortunately it did run out or we would have had some fun evicting it.

After an early lunch for you know who (Wendy), Hal, carol and Angela pick us up and take us to the Flying Aces Show at the Olympic Ski Jump

Olympic park.

Olympic park.

Park. What a cracking afternoons entertainment – see pictures. After we go and watch the bobsleigh – on wheels in summer – come down at about 65 mph. You can have a go on the toboggan for $75 and for $100 they’ll teach you how to come down on skis and into the pool. Belly flops on skis are optional and probably very painful.

A flying ace. Look no strings.

A flying ace. Look no strings.

Five reasons all computers are male

They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

As soon as you commit to one you realize that, had you waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

Summer toboggan run only $75!

Summer toboggan run only $75!


You know the other evening when I was getting me over dose of music on steroids at the Mormon Tabernacle choir thingy and me bottle of Merlot had all evaporated I got to thinking.

Would I like to live in the paradise of an Islamic state with full-blown sharia? I mean the self-proclaimed State of ISIS or IS as they like to be called these days, inhabited and controlled by jihadists who want to turn the clock back by at least 1000 years.

What sort of chucklehead would want to trade this awesome life here in Park City for a life of medieval barbarism on the promise, by some smooth tongued inman, of a fairy tale of some big breasted virgins and rivers of wine in an afterlife.

Come to that would you want to trust someone who believes such nonsense, or only lives a righteous life because of such a promise or fear, rather than doing it because they believe it to be intrinsically good.

Perhaps the Merlot fumes got me, but I know my answer.


Monday – hot and sunny.

 

Anglo American Bobsleigh team.

Anglo American Bobsleigh team.

Lazy morning. Nip into town to the supermarket. On the bus with Wendy, now that’s lazy.

After lunch Jewlee, Jerome and Britain pick us up and we set off to the Homestead crater for a dive.

Afternoon tea at the Blue Boar Inn. A very up market, posh, Swiss style hotel and restaurant. Has to be the best Assam tea I’ve ever tasted.

I degaussed my girlfriend last week, and I’m just not attracted to her anymore.DSC05784

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…

Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue…

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…

Press every key to continue…

Getting ready to dive.

Getting ready to dive.

While I’m in the mood for a good rant about computers and nerds lets tackle a few of my other 568 pet hates:

Send you an email telling you statement is ready. Zero balance etc. Why not just tell you how much in the email?

Can’t send them an email have to fill in their inane form asking for everything. Then you’ve no record and they don’t bother to respond.

Insist on you logging in to view anything, such as Home Exchange possibilities. They’re supposed to be promoting my home. Can you imagine

Final safety review and equipment check - BWARF.

Final safety review and equipment check – BWARF.

Asda, Costco or any store insisting that you log in before you can browse their products. No not these dimwits. Then when challenged as to why. Well it’s security. How can it be security. It takes all of 2 minutes to set up an account and anyone can do it and lie. To Make matters worse if I want to acknowledge an email invite I have to log in. Hang on they sent me the email!


Tuesday – grey and rainy.

 

Blue Boar Inn at Midway.

Blue Boar Inn at Midway.

Rain on and off for most of the day.

Good chance for a relaxing day hunkered down. Get me Dreamweaver out and set about updating me website. Nerdy paradise. Finally get our Home Exchange photos up to date, start on a revamp of whole site and build in some SEO. Just love talking dirty.

In the evening there’s a free demo on bike maintenance just around the corner from us so off I peddles. Some interesting info on mountain bike but not really much use on “how to”. Really all about trying to sell you on bike build / selection service he provides. Can you believe there are people with so much money and so devoid of any intelligence that they go to this guy who tells them what to wear, ride, bike pump and colours. That’s Park City for you.

image002
Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says “Hey… get out! We don’t want your type in here!”

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Put to scale, the head of a spinning disk drive is like a 747 jumbo jet flying at Mach 4 at an altitude of 1/4″ over the rocky mountains.


Wednesday – hot and sunny.

 

Local sports centre, just 5 minutes around the corner. Not a bit like Shadsworth.

Local sports centre, just 5 minutes around the corner. Not a bit like Shadsworth.

Hi ho, hi ho it’s off to work we go. 3 hours on the mountain for both of us. Smile. Be nice. Keep thinking of the free ski pass and apparently we get ski lessons for $1. Now ain’t that awesome. My last ski lesson was in Livigno in 1968, with this greasy Italian geezer who we didn’t understand a word of.

Have a nice day.

Called off due to forecast rain. Oh dear how sad.

It seems that once we’d got the email to not work,2014-08-20 the rain stopped and the weather picked up despite the dire forecast. By lunch time it was lovely again.

Wendy went with the Schmitt’s to the Farmers market, while I went to me Gentle Yoga. Definitely American Yoga. How can you tell? Well the intructoress kept telling everyone to “keep breathing”.

By late afternoon we’re sat out on the patio having afternoon tea in the scorching sun.

Moral of the day. Ignore the forecast and get on with life.

Bloody germans

Posing-in-burkasDon’t you just love the daily PASSWORD HELL that the 10 year old numbskull programmers are allowed to inflict upon us because they have not a jot of common sense nor ideas on customer service. Here’s my list:

Won’t accept last pass input.

Won’t accept iCloud input.

On the telephone, I have to speak to your wife she’s the account holder. My response tends to be either, “This is Mrs Edwards speaking. I can’t help it if I have a thyroid problem. Would you like me to send you a picture of my left breast.” or “Just a moment there’s a women walking down the street I’ll ask her in to talk to you for me.”.

Password must contain….. The list is endless. Perhaps they might add a 12 digit prime number to really spice things up.

Must be so long, 6 or 8 or 12 or 20…. Why not go the whole hog and ask for an infinite long one.

Username does not allow an email. You then spend the next 3 hours trying to identify a username that’s not already been taken and you know you’ll never remember. Now this really curdles me blood and wherever possible I just don’t bother signing up. Do they not realise that having to remember a password is bad enough, now I have to remember some crap username that has restrictions on size, content and uniqueness. Email addresses are unique and easily remembered.

Enter credit card number and then operator asks you for it as well. Does your telephone system suffer from Alzheimer’s.

Local sport centre.

Local sport centre.

Barmy additional security questions. What is your favourite book, film, food, first teacher, pet, character. Do they not realise these are not absolutes. They change with time. Ask absolutes that cannot change.

I wouldn’t mind half the time they’re for sign up to some mundane website that has no confidential or financial data, such as Knitting patterns, nerds daily.

Oh and don’t write your password down! Do these chuckleheads not realise that I have enough problems remembering what I had for breakfast so there’s no way I can remember 88 different passwords and usernames.

Perhaps one day someone will solve this problem. If only Apple would get there arse in gear and use their finger print Id on the iPhone 5 to achieve 2 factor authentication. What a great solution that would be. Something I have and something I know. Simples.


Thursday – warm and sunny. With some light rain showers early on.

 

Our local sports centre pool.

Our local sports centre pool.

I’m mountain hosting for 3 hours and then archery at the NAC, while Wendy cleans out bed pans at the hospital.

Get a decent bike ride in.

Then in the evening we get “The Wolf of Wall Street” DVD out as a freebie (my sort of word) from Red Box. Came highly recommended by Kurt. Actually by now I should know better than to go on his tastes. Thought it was 3 hours of mediocrity. At least it wasn’t a Tarantino crapic.

Time for some pearls of Wisdom from the late George Carlin

I don’t have pet peeves. I have major psychotic hatreds.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

National Ability Centre archery range.

National Ability Centre archery range.


We’ve got about 12 states we’ve never visited. I’ve been canvassing opinions on why we should go to some of them and have really struggled finding anyone who has anything positive to say about the 4 below.

Some orgasmic reasons why we should visit the following states:

North Dakota

World’s tallest stack of empty oil cans (45 feet).
Geographic entree of North America.
Salem Sue the World’s largest Holstein cow.

Sourth Dakota

Wall Drug Co, Wall.
Mitchell Corn Palace, Mitchell.

Nebraska

Carhenge, an auto inspired version of Stonehenge.
World’s biggest ball of stamps (600 pounds).

Oklahoma

Cow Chip throwing capital of the World – presided over by King Cow Chip, a 15 foot fibre glass beaver.

They sound as popular as a pork chop in a synagogue. I think we’ll put them at the bottom of our list for now.


Friday – warm and sunny.

Lazy morning followed by a trip to the mountain with the Schmitts. We’ve about 12 free tickets left so Angela can do some rides and there’s still plenty left over for them for the rest of the season.

In the evening the Schmitts and Randy come round for a farewell dinner. A sumptuous feast and a great opportunity to use up the remnants of our freezer. Evening’s entertainment is provided by Angela who does a dance and song routine, but only after a warning that “please turn off all mobiles, no talking, no flash photography and no dancing with the girls. 5 years old going on 40 – don’t know where she gets it all from.

More from George Carlin:

It’s the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin’ different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That’s our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”

How can [God] be perfect? Everything He ever makes dies.”

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

2014-07-09The video showing the murder of the kidnapped reporter James Foley by Islamic State terrorists has taken on an iconic importance.

It is the focus of attention of the entire world. And yet actually watching is now considered to have almost magic powers to convert normal folk into either muslim hating extremists or else else into murderous jihadists. Presumably ordinary people are best letting police, governments, and reporters watch it for them.

So it is somewhat inevitable that there has been a massive call for censorship of the video.

The Metropolitan Police Service provided to news reporters the following statement:

The MPS Counter Terrorism Command (SO15) is investigating the contents of the video that was posted online in relation to the alleged murder of James Foley.

We would like to remind the public that viewing, downloading or disseminating extremist material within the UK may constitute an offence under terrorism legislation.

But it appears that the police have been making it up about the video being illegal to view. Yet the police, when challenged, cannot substantiate which law is being breached.

Worrying!

But two things are for certain:

It will encourage normal folk to have a rational fear of islam.

No doubt the moderate muslims have stopped protesting over Gaza and taken to the streets and minarets to protest this vile barbaric act done in the name of their so called religion of peace. What a joke. Go read the koran.


Saturday – cold and sunny, with the odd sprinkle.

Well as they say “It’s a luvly shade o’ black o’er t’mother-in-laws”, said with a Robin Hood accent of course. Wendy reports that there was thunder, lightning and a torrential downpour all night. Bigger thunder, bigger lightning and bigger rain than in the UK of course.

Preparing us for our return.

It’s our last day as mountain host volunteers, next time we do it will be in ski season. It’s a really slow day. I’d much rather it be busy, so much more entertaining.

At the end of the day we strip off our uniforms and return them. Fortunately we knew about it so we don’t have to go home like some scroty snowboarder whose waistline has finally slipped off his knees to his ankles.

More from George Carlin:

We’re so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody’s going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven’t learned how to care for one another. We’re gonna save the fuckin’ planet? And, by the way, there’s nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin’ great. It’s been here over four billion years The planet isn’t goin’ anywhere, folks. We are! We’re goin’ away. Pack your shit, we’re goin’ away. And we won’t leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we’ll be gone. Another failed mutation, another closed-end biological mistake.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

20140811 – Stand Up Paddle Boring

Monday – warm and sunny.

 

Mountain host ready to help.

Mountain host ready to help.

Leisurely morning. Nip to supermarket on the bike. Really only interested in the liquor store but the dam place doesn’t open until 11:00. You’d think these Mormons would be up at dawn. At least get two rides / exercise.

For the first time we manage to find time to sit on our patio with a coffee, book, feathered friends and greedy squirrel, who will probably turn into a giant ball of adipose tissue covered in fur if he keeps on eating bird food at the current rate. He’s also a noisy little chappy, sounds like a rattler. A pleasant morning just relaxing.

In the afternoon we meet Jewlee, Jerome and Britain up on the mountain to enjoy the benefits of free rides. 6 hours later we’ve managed to do the slide, coaster, trampoline and zip line – lightning stopped play for a while. Jewlee managed to do the zip line, despite the look of trepidation, it’s always interesting to see that look as they get nearer the front of the queue. One more off her bucket list.

Then it’s back home for dinner and some much deserved wine after a long but enjoyable afternoon. Really had a great time with Jewlee,

Jerome and Britain do the alpine slide.

Jerome and Britain do the alpine slide.

Jerome and 5 year old Britain was so well behaved with impeccable manners. It seems to be a characteristic of American kids.

Another great day here in paradise.

A quick inside view of a Mormon Wedding. Apparently they’re a very brief affair and the food served is unbelievable. The most popular wedding meal is Cheesecake and gummy bears. Can you believe it? Certainly cuts down on the costs. But as one web site says don’t come to the wedding hungry, you’ll probably starve to death.

I think it’s about time we started having a laugh at the expense of me and my fellow nerds. They’ve a lot to answer for with their flimsy bug ridden code, confusing, common senseless human interfaces that even a flock of Gibbon Monkeys randomly typing could do better and web sites flung together with zero thought or testing. Nothing works these days – not like when I was a lad.

Don’t despair if you don’t get them all. They are rather nerdy.

Why programmers often mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25

The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed Linux.

Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.

%20… the final frontier…

Jewlee finally makes it to the bottom.

Jewlee finally makes it to the bottom.

Words of wisdom from the Daily Blood Boiler, AKA The Dail Mail.

“Western leaders, as a whole, remain in denial about what is occurring in Muslim countries because it exposes their past analysis as catastrophically naive – but Islamic State can be defeated

The West still refuses to acknowledge that in this region, religious revolution is a far greater evil than undemocratic government.

David Cameron’s head was turned three years ago by the cheers of Libyans celebrating Gaddafi’s fall. Today, they are sheltering from the bandits that now run the country.

If Cameron, of course, had had his way last year, Britain would now be engaged on the same side as Islamic State, fighting President Assad’s regime in Syria. But, then, the British Prime Minister is merely one egregious example of collective folly.”

One of Pat Condell’s rants from 2012. Nothings changed. Hamas are still out for genocide of all Jews.


Tuesday – warm and sunny.

 

Forecast for 85% chance of rain, but we ignore it.

Alpine slide at PCMR.

Alpine slide at PCMR.

We both have a leisurely bike ride down, and down is the key word here, to Kimble Junction.

Starbucks and lunch for Wendy. Then an expensive visit to Wholefoods. They really should change their name to Dearfoods, but they do good foods and salads.

Wendy catches the bus home. It’s uphill you see. Payback for the easy ride down. Not only do they let bikes on the buses but the driver even helps you get them on. Can you imagine that in Blackburn?

For me it’s the long slog back up. Good exercise.

As for the rain, it just never happened, yet again, so it was a pleasant afternoon tea on the deck.

Homer tries to buy a gun.

Our friendly squirrel who sounds like a rattle snake.

Our friendly squirrel who sounds like a rattle snake.

There is no place like 127.0.0.1.

Girls are like Internet Domain names; the ones I like are already taken.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.

My Software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Arab scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the middle ages.

They’re calling it ‘Islam’.


Wednesday – warm and sunny.

 

Well Wendy’s crook again with UTI.

The Racquet club and golf course (our estate) from the top of PC hill.

The Racquet club and golf course (our estate) from the top of PC hill.

Women’s problems. Bad female plumbing design if you ask me. Perhaps it’s a product of creationism, certainly lacks intelligent design.

I go for me hike up PC Hill while Wendy’s off to see the sawbones. She’ll be getting a bulk buying discount along with an invite to the Christmas staff party at this rate.

A pleasant stroll up PC Hill and down t'other side. It may only be a hill and not a mountain but it's steep.

Posted by Tony Wendy Edwards on Mittwoch, 13. August 2014

Afternoon spent in relaxing as there’s rain forecast, but yet again it turns out dry and pretty sunny. It’s a Dreamweaver afternoon, I get out one of my favourite toys and get back into updating my website. Nerdy joy. When will I ever get any reading done at this rate.

PCMR from the top of PC hill.

PCMR from the top of PC hill.

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.

Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Weinberg’s Second Law

A real classic. We need more of this:

A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.

The Arab Muslim asked him, “What are you doing?”

The cabbie answered, “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel..”

Panorama from the top of PC hill.

Panorama from the top of PC hill.



Thursday – hot and sunny.

 

Rain forecast again but not a smidgen, thank Chione I ignored it. Temperatures are climbing back up again. 90F on our deck.

Sandhill crane family taking a stroll around our estate.

Sandhill crane family taking a stroll around our estate.

Wendy’s washing and rolling bandages again.

I’m rather perturbed as we seem to be down to the last bottle of wine, so it’s off to the off-license (strange name for it, wonder where it came from), liquor store makes so much more sense. The really great thing here is if you want something you either walk, cycle or if you’re truly lazy catch the bus. There’s something refreshing and novel about getting on your bike and “nipping” into town – oh how I’ll miss it. On top of which it’s oh so healthy. At 6,500 feet it gets the red blood cells multiplying.

Hummingbirds have arrived.

Hummingbirds have arrived.

Followed by my usual mountain bike ride, coffee and papers in the hospital lounge, followed by archery at the NAC. Todays target is the Sherrif of Nottingham, Captain Hook and some villain who I can’t name from Aladdin. I still really worry that this will turn these kids into mass killers if they ever get their hands on an automatic rifle.

Well dip my balls in sweet cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens, Blackburn council have finally exercised a modicum of common sense with free parking Saturday and weekdays after 15:00. Now all they have to do is get it in their thick skulls that Blackburn is still a dump and people need every incentive possible to encourage them to visit. Still one small step in the right direction.

Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows

JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!

Software is like sex: Its better when its free.

Don’t know who said it but it just about sums things up:2014-08-13

“Western civilisation faces an enemy that it is still too timid and too polite to confront in earnest. This is an enemy that rejects progress in all its forms, dehumanises women, exults in death and recognises no borders. Its international reach was never more terrifyingly evident than on 9/11, but it is if anything more deeply embedded in western societies 13 years later.”


Friday – hot and sunny.

 

Wendy having lunch yet again.  She's obsessed with this eating at lunch time, costs me a fortune.

Wendy having lunch yet again. She’s obsessed with this eating at lunch time, costs me a fortune.

Well it should be hike day but Wendy’s not up to it.

For a change we catch the bus up to the Deer Valley ponds for Wendy’s lunch, whilst I try this Stand Up Paddle Boring (SUP) craze that seems to be sweeping America.

In case of an emergency I’m given that life jacket thingy around my waste. If I fall off and knock myself out, all I have to do is pull a yellow rip cord and I’ll float face down in the water and expire before the mormon gators get me

Perhaps on the ocean, surrounded by sharks, it may have slightly more zing to it. Here in PC, on a lake with not even a Mormon alligator or water snake to be seen, it just plain boring. Well I’ll try most things once but to do it a 2nd time I have to enjoy it. Guess I won’t be trying this again.

In the evening we go round to Carol and Hal’s for dinner. Good company and great food as always. But all this talk of leaving PC in 11 days time is depressing.

Is the glass half full or half empty?
Yoga American style. Perhaps it's less boring than SUP.

Yoga American style. Perhaps it’s less boring than SUP.

Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?
C Programmers: No thanks, I’ll drink straight from the jug.
Assembly programmers: No thanks, I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers: No thanks, I’m still breast feeding.
Pentium users: I drank .499999 glasses of milk.
Mac users: My milk comes with it’s own (proprietary) cereal, bowl, and spoon.

Meanwhile it seems that the religion of peace just hates dogs and thinks they are unclean

2014-07-30It seems that Mo geezer said in one of his many rants: “Whoever keeps a dog, his good deeds will decrease every day by one qeeraat (a unit of measurement), unless it is a dog for farming or herding.”; “Angels do not enter a house wherein there is a dog or an animate picture.”

Meanwhile us infidels don’t fare much better from the koran, the word of allah don’t forget: “Then Those who disbelieve from among the People of the Book and among the Polytheists, will be in Hell-Fire, to dwell therein (for aye). They are the worst of creatures.” (98.6); “Surely the vilest of animals in Allah’s sight are those who disbelieve, then they would not believe.” (8:55).

Meanwhile that fruitcake the Ayatollah Khomeini, who dedicated / wasted his entire life to studying Islam, said that non-Muslims rank somewhere between “feces” and the “sweat of a camel that has consumed impure food.”

Anyway back to the muslim hatred of dogs. Does anyone know where I can rent, borrow, hire or take for free daily exercise a pack of dogs. I thought a nice daily stroll around Audley Range and Whalley Range might be a good desensitising idea. Help our fellow countrymen with their integration into our tolerant multi-cultural society. PS I promise to take a black bin liner, without a slit in it, to scoop up the shit into.


Saturday – hot and sunny.

 

Yes’ it’s Saturday yet again and we’re both off to be mountain hosts for the day, ready to deal with the great American public. Well I gird me

Mountain host girding his loins and vocal chords with caffeine.

Mountain host girding his loins and vocal chords with caffeine.

loins, put on a terrifying smile and marshall all me stock, be nice phrases; how’s it going; have a nice day; can I help; any questions; good morning / good afternoon (that really throws them), g’day seems to work better.

After all that biting of my tongue, it’s like a fine porter house steak, after an hours pummelling with a meat tenderiser.

England and America – two countries separated by a common language.

It’s ok for Wendy, she’s so good at it and it comes naturally. 40+ years of nerdiness and never going near the great unwashed public has not prepared me for this. An enlightening experience.

Back home for a quality beer and some wine.

Deer valley from the top of PC hill

Deer valley from the top of PC hill

5 reasons all computers are female:

No one but the creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
The message “Bad command or file name” is about the same as, “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, I’m certainly not going to tell you.”
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Well it seems like our leader, Cameron, has finally started to come to his senses with his recent statement: “We are in the middle of a
Mountain blue bird.

Mountain blue bird.

generational struggle against a poisonous and extremist ideology which I believe we will be fighting for the rest of my political lifetime.”

Sadly he was only talking about ISIS and the other extremist islamic fundamentalists, but it’s a start. Perhaps eventually he’ll twig that the whole religion of peace is the problem and wake up before it’s too late. All he has to do is to read the koran – yes given all my rants about islam I took the trouble to read it – to appreciate that this immature, barbaric religion is still in the 7th century and will not rest until we’re all muslim drawn back into their barbarism.

Meanwhile I can’t believe the Church of England has accused the Government of appearing to have no “coherent or comprehensive approach” to tackling the rise of Islamic extremism. Yes, the CofE! THE BIGGEST LOAD OF DHIMMIS I’VE EVER COME ACROSS. Really makes my blood boil. They fall over themselves to give away CofE schools to be dominated by the so called religion of peace, all in the name of a do gooder, liberal, multi-cultural, fanatical ideology that has sold this country out to the fanatics and not helped integration one slit in a burka. As a chair of a CofE primary school I was utterly appalled by them.

20140804 – It’s All Go. Never A Dull Moment. Living The Dream.

Monday – warm with sunny spells.

 

Wendy on the way out to Sultan barbecue platform.

Wendy on the way out to Sultan barbecue platform.

Although there’s forecast of a 40% chance of rain we decide to go for a short hike. Catch the bus up to Silver Lake and hike out to the Sultan barbecue platform with awesome views over Jordanelle. Yes, there’s a lovely platform complete with picnic tables, two barbecues and even fire extinguisher.

Set me thinking what would the Blackburn scrots do to this. Well they probably start off by gobbing gum everywhere; followed by some liberal spray painting of graffiti to make up for their lack of colouring books and crayons in their deprived childhood; out would come the knives to try their hand at carving their initials, not that they can spell; the barbecues would certainly be stolen; oh and while we’re at it use the fire extinguisher to put out an imaginary fire. The gypos would come along and help out by taking away all the metal work, “Oh we thought you’d left it out scrapping. We’re only trying to be helpful. Saving you a trip. Why are we so misunderstood?”. Then to finish the job off the scrots would either steal the remaining wood or more likely set fire to it all and the surrounding forests.

Then I realised that none of this would happen because they have to walk 4 miles and they’re too dam lazy.

Barbecues ready, and they're clean, along with picnic tables.

Barbecues ready, and they’re clean, along with picnic tables.

Call in at Royal Street cafe for a lavish lunch for Wendy.

On the way home Wendy “just nips into the supermarket” (there’s no such thing as a targeted, single purpose, quick trip to the supermarket with Wendy) and I try to buy some of that delicious Paso Robles Merlot, but the greedy brown paper baggers have doubled the price of it. Pass.

It looks like I spoke to soon when I was joking about gluten free beer. Yes, here in the land of opportunity – to make lots of money – they even have gluten free beer. What about wine then? Surely not!

We’re frequently asked by friends, especially our English friends who are a tad sceptical of all things American, why do we spend so much time in America and what is it we like so much. Well apart from the fact that we like to travel, there are many things. When we were hunkered down avoiding the rare rain we decided it was about time we gave this some serious consideration and listed them along with the things we didn’t like.

Jordanell reservoir from the Sultan barbecue platform.

Jordanell reservoir from the Sultan barbecue platform.

Here goes, the things we like about America:

Americans are so friendly. Just get on a ski lift with them and by the time you’ve got to the top, just 10 minutes, you’ve usually struck up a real rapport, know their life story, political inclinations and complete medical history.

Awesome National Parks.

Service is so much better. Probaly a lot of it driven by the tipping mentality. Yes, I really struggle with it, but I have to admit it does seem to produce better service.

Most things are so much cheaper.

Wine, junk food, mexican food, meat, choice of food are so much better.

With the advent of Starbucks they’ve mainly moved from a country serving brown dishwater as coffee – although you can still come across it – to some excellent coffee.

Parking slots are so much bigger and even though they have the land they’re even better because they’re on an angle and easy to swing you’re giant gas guzzler into.

Their homes and accommodation are so much bigger and open plan.

And to keep a sense of balance what do we dislike:

The American gun culture. Although to be fair as I don’t carry a gun I’m so much safer than anyone who does.

On the way back from Sultan barbecue platform. Anyone notice the before and after bedraggled look.

On the way back from Sultan barbecue platform. Anyone notice the before and after bedraggled look.

Prices being shown without sales tax. It’s madness. You have to pay it so why not show it, rather than trying to con your customers. Perhaps it helps the nation improve their maths!

A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Mormon bishop were discussing when life begins.

“Life begins,” said the priest, “at the moment of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus.”

“We believe,” said the minister, “that life begins at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin.”

“You’ve both got it wrong,” said the bishop. “Life begins when the children have graduated from college and moved out of the house.”

It seems that a man came bursting into Brigham Young’s office, crutches flying. He only had one leg, and he shouted, “Now, Mr. Prophet, I want you to give me another leg this instant. Otherwise, I will publish it abroad that you are not a prophet at all.”

President Young apparently told him that would be easy enough, but that consequences would result. Young explained that if he gave him another leg, it would rise with him in the resurrection – as would the other two legs. That meant the man would have to deal with three legs for all eternity.

The Pope calls Cardinal Dolan on the phone, and he can hardly speak. “Cardinal!! I’ve got some good news and some bad news!!”

The Cardinal says, “Give me the good news first.” The Pope says, “I just got a call from Jesus! It’s the second coming, and he’s on the earth now!!”

Cardinal Dolan says, “But Holy Father, that’s wonderful! What’s the bad news?”

“He called from Salt Lake City.”

Lunch for one at Royal Street Cafe.

Lunch for one at Royal Street Cafe.

Timehop – Don’t you just love repeat posts. Now we can have repeats of all those inane posts written by people who fell out the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Posts such as:

Name a city that doesn’t have a letter A in it! Doh.

Remember the telephone box on …. street. Wow, that’s really interesting….. What have lampposts and cracks in pavements done to be so ignominiously ignored.

Sayings about dragons with a request to repost.

Swearing and really foul language.

“Send this rubbish on and you’ll receive good luck” – doh.

“Fail to send this rubbish on and you’ll be cast down into hell” – doh, doh.

“Only 1% will send this on”, often followed by “…and I know who you are”. In which case why not send it to just the 1%.

Excessive details on bodily functions or their sex life or lack thereof.

Can u read this crap. The amazing power of the mind.

What kind of dwarf / dessert / psychopath are you?

The Book of Mormon comes to South Park. I’ve heard great things about this musical. Normally I’d rather watch paint flake off the ceiling than watch a musical but I really do want to see this one. Who knows perhaps someone will eventually have the gonads to do a muslim equivalent,


Tuesday – grey, warm and rain.

 

It’s forecast rain again but sticking with the go for it and ignore it philosophy. It might never happen. Up and out for a MTB ride. Wendy stays at home.

Oh well you can’t win them all, it did rain but I didn’t get too wet.

Get back and Wendy’s sat on the deck sunning herself.

Yippee, we’ve finally finished Dexter. All 8 seasons. It was good but please not a season 9, it would be enough to make you want to splatter your brains over a tiger skin rug.

Mini-rant – Rip off Britain strikes again. A small Starbucks costs about $1.77 or £1.04 in Park City. Yet in the UK the same coffee, except it came from Switzerland (one of the Worlds major coffee growers no doubt), costs about £1.77. Whilst I realise good old ethical Starbucks, who care so much about their social standing and their local communities, have their expensive Swiss coffee and all that tax to pay, you’d think that they’d be able to do the maths that £1 = about $1.68 and not $1.00 (in their dreams).

Q: Why should polygamy be legal? A: Any guy willing to take multiple wives is punishment enough!
Deer Valley - Bald Mountain.

Deer Valley – Bald Mountain.

A Mormon Bishop got on an elevator on the 10th floor, (he was heading to the lobby) when on the 8th floor a beautiful woman walked in. (they were alone) On the way to the lobby the gorgeous woman hit the stop button. She turned to the Bishop and said: “Can you make me feel like a true woman?” The Bishop said: “I sure can” and excitedly took off all his clothes, he then threw them in the corner of the elevator. He turned to the woman pointed to the clothes and said: “Now fold them”.

A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper, “The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony”

Two Mormons were out hunting when they happened upon two beautiful women. They asked the women if they’d like to “fool around.” The women replied, “We’re game!” So the Mormons shot them.

Up to 100,000 Christians and other minority faiths have fled the jihadists who have vowed to purge all “non-believers” and are reported to be carrying out crucifixions and beheadings.

Where is the collective voice of the “moderate peace loving” Muslim communities in Britain, to decry the foul slaughter by fellow Muslims?

Their silences is deafening.

Muslim sensitivity training in South Park. What a great idea, the religion of permanent offence needs to toughen up, grow some calloused skin and remember “sticks and stones….”. PS you need to click the YouTube logo in the bottom right hand corner – looks like allah has some IT skills on YouTube!


Deer Valley concert venue from the lift.

Deer Valley concert venue from the lift.

Wendy’s on the mountain volunteering. My plans for a hike up Spiro have been scuttled as the trails will be too muddy from all the rain overnight.

After a lazy morning I go to “Gentle Yoga” in the afternoon. Nothing gentle about this. I’ve noticed as the weeks go on it’s got tougher and tougher. Get to feel like a pretzel. And I’m sick to death of that “Downward Facing Dog”, enough to make you yearn for the nearest lamp post.

Pass on the free evening concert at Deer Valley. We’ve no Dexter to watch so need to select a new Netflix series. Try “Hack” but that’s mediocre and seems to have been entirely shot in the dark. Try the Killing. We started to watch it years ago on TV but for some perverse BBC programming reason had to abandon to after a few episodes.


Thursday – hot and sunny.

 

Well apparently, according to Wendy, there were some violent storms overnight, with lashings of loud thunder and lightning. Missed it all as I

Deer Valley Big Stick and Little Stick ski runs.

Deer Valley Big Stick and Little Stick ski runs.

was sleeping the sleep of the righteous, yet again.

Wendy’s doing her Florence Nightingale stint, washing and rolling bandages no doubt. I’m going up to PCMR to do my smile and be nice to people stint as a mountain host. What a terrifying thought. Could be painful.

Finish smiling at 13:30 then cycle down to the hospital for free coffee and civilised newspapers. It’s better than an airport lounge, they even come round dishing out free coffee or lemonade. Although sadly the foods chargeable and being Utah there’s no alcohol.

Wendy on Spiro at Park City.

Wendy on Spiro at Park City.

Then it’s down to the NAC for archery. The kids there get such a kick out of shooting pictures of horror movie villains. Next week at least we manage to get Sheriff of Nottingham and Captain Hook.

No free concerts tonight for a change, so it’s a quiet evening in. Unfortunately I’m relegated to sniffing old wine corks out of the waste bin as there’s been a major cock up in the supply of essential vitals – no wine. You just can’t get the staff these days.

The other day we came across some muslim’s. How did we know? Well they wore the hijab, at least the women did. It’s the first time we’ve seen any muslims for months, so quite a culture shock. But the real sad thing is how you immediately look on them with suspicion. Even though they may be moderate muslims – if such a thing really exists.

Thanks to the extreme fundamentalists and all the barbaric violence they perpetrate in the name of islam, it’s really not surprising you feel

Wendy on Spiro - are we there yet?

Wendy on Spiro – are we there yet?

that way. It’s as bad as looking upon your average German as a Nazi. Whereas most Germans and muslims I’ve met are lovely people. But perhaps when you consider – “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (Edmund Burke) – you can understand why.

No doubt we all feel a tad insignificant on these issues, but consider – “Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.” (Edmund Burke).

Women: “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me”
Man: “Either Way love we’ll be having sex in a minute”

A guy with a gun enters a bar.
“Who had sex with my wife?” he snarled.
A voice was heard in the background, “You don’t have enough bullets mate!”

The NRA’s Newest Marketing Fantasy: Teach the Children “Gun Required”

National Rifle Association suggests we can live up to the Founding Fathers’ ideals by creating “gun-required zones,” and making gun training for children “necessary to advance to the next grade.”

Considers what gun policies the United States would have “if we designed gun policy from the assumption that people need guns — that guns make people’s lives better.”

Sadly this isn’t a joke. Remember “guns don’t kill and maim +30,000 pa, people do”. Now we have “People need guns”.

Pat Condell – Message to Offended Muslims. Another one of his epic rants. Just love them. Lets have more.


Friday – warm and sunny.

 

My winter office - The Snow Hut.

My winter office – The Snow Hut.

Set off for a hike up Spiro. Halfway up and it’s non-stop earache from Wendy, “are we there yet?”, “you told me it wasn’t steep”.

Take a shortcut up mountain road to Snowhut, not a smart move. Very steep, yet in winter it’s only a green run. Then across mid mountain and up Mojave and mountain road to Crescent lift and down.

Despite all the moans and groans Wendy makes it. Well done it was worth the effort.

Thankfully wine crisis is over. 2 bottles of Merlot to tide me over.

Unbelievable. I’ve just been stood waiting for Wendy in the supermarket and watching her shop. She really does think she’s in a library,

Wendy on Spiro - nearly there.

Wendy on Spiro – nearly there.

browsing the shelves; take it down, read the label; put it back; repeat for everything else on the shelf. 4 minutes later something finally goes in the basket. Next isle; 3 minutes on one section and not a single purchase. Sell by dates need to be in giant letters and shopping carts should have a minimum speed or maximum load period. At the speed Wendy shops most things will be past their sell by date by the time she gets to checkout.

Memo to self, that’s assuming I can remember to read it, never go in a supermarket with Wendy again. It will damage my health and could lead to divorce.

It’s all evaporated away, the Merlot that is, must be the altitude. Sadly the concerts not over yet, how will I survive the rest.

Not one waiver to sign; no I don’t have to trade Wendy in for another; I don’t even have to take on more trouble and strifes – imagine two or more shopping in a supermarket together, worse than having my teeth pulled; not one mention of JC (USA); not one mention of JC (Holy Land); no mention of religion of peace. Just left alone to enjoy the music, mind you I did wonder how surrounded we were by Mormons. But at least they wouldn’t try to crucify me if I didn’t convert.

Meanwhile on the way home. American “wasn’t it great? What did you think.”. Me “I thought it was a bit insipid. Not exactly a vibrant choice of music for a a World class choir”. American with dazed look of confusion “but what does insipid mean, we thought it was great”. Hmmm….. I don’t think she had all her choir chairs lined up.

Thistle.

Thistle.

“You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? You need bullet control. Control the bullets, that’s right. All bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? If a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.

Yeah! Every time somebody get shut we’d say, ‘Damn, he must have done something … Shit, he’s got fifty thousand dollars worth of bullets in his ass.’

People would think before they killed somebody if a bullet cost five thousand dollars. ‘Man I would blow your head off…if I could afford it.’ ‘I’m gonna get me another job, I’m going to start saving some money, and you’re a dead man. You’d better hope I can’t get no bullets on layaway.’

Even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you wouldn’t have to go to no doctor to get it taken out. Whoever shot you would take their bullet back, like “I believe you got my property.”

That dam religion of peace again. I think I’m just going to ignore anything that relates to islam. We all know what the script is. Wake me up
Wendy makes it to top via Spiro. Now for a relaxing ride down.

Wendy makes it to top via Spiro. Now for a relaxing ride down.

when hell freezes over or islam becomes civilised.

40,000 Iraqis stranded on mountain as Isis jihadists threaten death. Members of minority Yazidi sect face slaughter if they go down and dehydration if they stay, while 130,000 fled to Kurdish north.

Meanwhile, that apologist for Hamas, numbskull and little lad that follows round on Camerons shirt tails (Clegg) thinks we should stop selling arms to Israel if the ceasefire fails. Even if Hamas violates it! Yet not a mention of the above tragedy or the daily slaughter of Christians by the fundamentalists of this evil pernicious ideology.

Wake up, have a swig of your favourite tipple, before its too late.


Saturday – hot and sunny.

 

Park City ski runs from Crescent lift.

Park City ski runs from Crescent lift.

Up hosting on the mountain.

It really does expose you to the great American public. Comprehension, reading, listening and literacy skills do worry you. Todays question of the day was “so what’s a queue?”.

When we finish we go to the Pickin’ at Park City: A Bluegrass, Brews & BBQ Festival on Saturday, August 9th. Three bluegrass acts, headlined by the nationally-acclaimed The Travelin’ McCourys! And what better way to enjoy FREE bluegrass music than to mix in a craft beer garden and BBQ! Yes, we’ll have some great brews to taste (as long as they’re below 3.5%)

Please, no outside alcohol or pets allowed in the concert venue. This is Utah so guns and automatic weapons will probably be ok!

I would have a beer but a 30 minute queue meant I would have died of dehydration before I got a beer. It was enough to get anyone to take the pledge.

Park City ski runs from Crescent lift.

Park City ski runs from Crescent lift.

Have I gone deaf or is this band just a mime act. Mind you I do Van Gogh’s ear for music. Hang on, I can hear Wendy so I’m not mutt an jeff after all. What is the point of a concert with music so quiet it’s drowned out by the sound of a gun sliding out of its holster. Talking of which we had a tyre explode on the plaza today. I’m totally surprised there weren’t 40 guns drawn and 50 people dive for the deck.

Todd and Nancy join us.


Sunday – hot and sunny.

 

Tour of Utah (similar to the Tour de France but without the French) finishes at Park City.

Yet another weekend of excitement and activity in Park City as it hosts the final stages of the Tour Of Utah. Watch the start and then have a pleasant lunch with Rick and Lynda in the “No Name Saloon”. A very eclectic western style saloon.

And they're off. Tour Of Utah Bike race.

And they’re off. Tour Of Utah Bike race.

Brake my second rule of retirement and have a day time Fat Tyre. Even have lunch. One of the best Reubans ever.

Wendy then marauds the stalls for freebies and enters every competition available. She just loves freebies, even though we have absolutely no use for them other than to fill our dustbin with. Mind you if we’re in luck then we’ll probably have at least 8 top of the range road bikes to bring home.

After tea, well dinner for the posh uns, we sit our on the deck. Watch the mountains to make sure they don’t move. It’s warm, sunny and such a pleasant evening. Watch about 9 different types of bird, including an awesome Humming bird and our cheeky squirrel. Perfect end to another perfect day here in paradise. Living the dream!

Alex Jones on South Park on gun control!

HEALTH WARNING – LONG RANT ON ANTIBIOTIC RESISTENCE

What the hell is going on?

Tour Of Utah Bike race.

Tour Of Utah Bike race.

GPs are handing out antibiotics faster than ever for coughs and colds. Harassed doctors are needlessly fuelling the rise of superbugs.

Antibiotic prescribing for minor ailments is up 40 per cent in a decade, suggesting that guidance to combat antibiotic resistance is being routinely ignored. Most patients with coughs, colds and sore throats are given drugs that do them no good yet risk the health of others, the study concluded.

GPs have long been advised not to give out the drugs for minor ailments, which are often caused by viruses, against which antibiotics are useless.

Despite all this 51 per cent of patients with coughs and colds were given antibiotics in 2011. Two thirds of patients with sore throats got antibiotics, usually for no good reason.

Tour Of Utah Bike race.

Tour Of Utah Bike race.

David Cameron warned last month that the world could be “cast back into the dark ages of medicine” by the rise of antibiotic-resistant bacteria. The rise of untreatable bacteria threatens an “unthinkable scenario” where minor infections could once again kill.

These doctors should know better and refer back to their hippocratic oath “I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone”.

Bear in mind that only five new types of antibiotics have been introduced since the 1960s and the supply of newly-developed drugs is dwindling as companies see little profit in working on treatments designed only to be used as a last resort.

Meanwhile we can all help by stopping using anti-bacterial soaps etc:

1 Antibacterial soaps are no more effective than conventional soap and water. 42 years of FDA research—along with countless independent

Tour Of Utah Bike race.

Tour Of Utah Bike race.

studies—have produced no evidence that antibacterial soaps (triclosan) provides any health benefits as compared to old-fashioned soap.

2. Antibacterial soaps have the potential to create antibiotic-resistant bacteria.

3. The soaps could act as endocrine disruptors. There are worries theycould lead to problems such as infertility, artificially-advanced early puberty, obesity and cancer.

4. The soaps might lead to other health problems, too. There’s evidence that children with prolonged exposure to triclosan have a higher chance of developing allergies, including peanut allergies and hay fever.

5. Antibacterial soaps are bad for the environment.

What Should You Do?

If you’re planning on giving up antibacterial soap—like Johnson & Johnson, Kaiser Permanente and several other companies have recently done, then you have a couple options.

One is a non-antibiotic hand sanitizer, like Purell, which doesn’t contain any triclosan and simply kills both bacteria and viruses with good old-fashioned alcohol. Because the effectiveness of hand-washing depends on how long you wash for, a quick squirt of sanitizer might be more effective when time is limited.

Outside of hospitals, though, the CDC recommends the time-tested advice you probably heard as a child: wash your hands with conventional soap and water. That’s because while alcohol from hand sanitizer kills bacteria, it doesn’t actually remove dirt or anything else you may have touched. But a simple hand wash should do the trick. The water doesn’t need to be hot, and you’re best off scrubbing for about 30 seconds to get properly clean.

20140731 – Me, upset the muslims? Never. Time for a few comments on the Mormons and the NRA.

 

Thursday – warm and sunny. Just right.

 

The Sandhill Cranes have arrived and strut around.

The Sandhill Cranes have arrived and strut around.

Lazy morning. Wendy’s volunteering on the mountain, covering one of my duties.

Off at lunch time for a bike ride, followed by my coffee stop at the hospital and then archery at the NAC.

There I am sat at the hospital, relaxing with a coffee after my ride, when all hell breaks loose. It must be Armageddon, sirens and strobing lights – just what an epileptic needs in an emergency. Everyone just sits there in confounded bemusement. Who’s going to be the first sissy to bolt for the exit? The lime green volunteers calmly continue their duties. Well are we about to be burnt to a crisp? I suppose we’re in the right place if the burns units ready.

Relax, 40 seconds later, by which time 10 people could have been trampled to death in a stampede for the exit along with 3 coronaries due to shock, they announce it’s a “code red drill”. Sounds impressive. Would it not have been more use to announce a drill in advance or at least have the lime greens come around, top up my coffee, bring me the daily paper that seems to have disappeared, and tell me to relax it’s a drill.

Of down to archery. These kids get a great kick out of shooting at pictures of gruesome horror characters. Sadly tuition doesn’t seem to be top of the priorities.

Humming birds have arrived at last. Time to get the humming bird drinks machine out.

That’s what American democracy has come down to at these town hall meetings: old people and gun nuts, which is a terrible combination. I heard somebody yell ‘AK-47!’ and a lady yelled, ‘Bingo!’

Oh, you need a magazine that holds 30 rounds? Is that in case the deer starts shooting back?

When you’re in a hole, stop digging!

Clash of the Titans. Will there be a ski resort next year? One thing is certain there will be some richer lawyers. Madness.

Clash of the Titans. Will there be a ski resort next year? One thing is certain there will be some richer lawyers. Madness.


Turkey’s deputy prime minister was the target of renewed ridicule yesterday after he tried to defend comments in which he criticised women for laughing — by saying that his views applied to men, too.

Bulent Arinc stoked outrage in a country already riven by debate over the role of Islam in public life — and triggered a wave of internet pictures of women laughing in public — when, speaking at the end of Ramadan, he said: “A woman should be chaste. She should know the difference between public and private. She should not laugh in public.”

Elected Muslim mayor is to face trial over claims he committed widespread voting fraud.

Lutfur Rahman, 48, is accused of using illegal tactics to win the mayoral election.

ELECTORAL ALLEGATIONS MAYOR LUTFUR RAHMAN IS FACING:

Voters promised council houses
Told to be ‘good Muslims’ by voting for Mr Rahman
Children of voters given lollipops – halal of course
Council officers bullied and threatened with the sack if they failed to secure votes
Votes were cast in the names of people who were not entitled to be on the electoral register
Numerous postal ballots were stolen and filled in by the same person
Signatures on postal ballots did not match the signatures on application forms previously submitted
A voluntary organisation was given grants in exchange for votes
False allegations were circulated about rival candidate John Biggs, declaring that he was a racist and anti-Islamic
Supporters of Mr Rahman accompanied voters into polling booths and told them who to vote for
Leaflets about Mr Rahman’s political party, Tower Hamlets First, were left in polling booths
Mr Rahman’s supporters were intimidating and made it ‘difficult or impossible’ for voters to get to the polls
Polling station officials folded ballot papers to obscure one of the candidates
Labour votes were crossed out and replaced with votes for Mr Rahman using a different coloured pen

Reading this list you’d think this occurred in some 3rd World barbaric land, but it was in Tower Hamlets, London. Of course once the fundamentalist from the religion of peace have used or abused democracy to get their way, then they’ll inflict Sharia and we can then say goodbye to democracy, freedom of religion or speech, tolerance and civilisation as we know it.

 

Friday – hot and sunny.

 

No it's not lemonade.

No it’s not lemonade.

Have a ride down to the Mountain Bike adventure park – pretty awesome place with some scary wooden ramps and berms to ride. Save it for another day, ride down Old Ranch Road, some awesome houses with fantastic views of the mountains.

Then it’s a lazy afternoon catching up on reading etc. Finally finish “Executive Treason”, it’s only taken 8 weeks. I suppose that says a lot about the book although the last half of it was quite fast paced.

In the evening we pick up the chairs, cool box with sandwiches and of course a bottle of wine and head up to Deer Valley for the Disney Concert.

Whoops, somehow a smidgen became a whole bottle of luscious merlot. Well it would have been a sin not to finish it off. Great evening, music and butties were awesome, to say nothing of the wine.

One of the Disney clips they show with the music is of “Mickey Mouse – The Band Concert”. What awesome animation, music and imagination. All from the 1930’s, but absolutely timeless. An all time great.

A new poll says 60 percent of Americans want stricter gun laws. The NRA calls those Americans “communists”.

NRA fights to maintain gun rights for voices in heads.

I'll have just a smidgen more.

I’ll have just a smidgen more. Don’t you just love the stylish wine glass.

Unbelievable. You just have to laugh. The religion of permanent offence is at it again. Is there anything that doesn’t offend them. Perhaps we should also ban clapping, singing dancing, make all women take part in black bin liners and not to forget ban women from laughing. Why do we put up with this religious barbaric nonsense? If they don’t like it don’t come to the games, don’t take part and go back to your cave in some 3rd World hell hole.

The use of the Scottie dogs in the 2014 Commonwealth Games opening ceremony has been branded as “disrespectful” to Muslims around the globe. Dogs are considered “unclean” and cannot be held by people of the faith. However a member of the Malaysian team needed to carry their dog as
Fantastic bike repair stations everywhere. Complete with well designed bars that stick out to brain you as you stand up from tyre pumping. Thank Chione for cycle helmets.

Fantastic bike repair stations everywhere. No doubt a creationist creation, no evidence here of intelligent design. As you stand up you poleaxe yourself on the bars sticking out at the top. Thank Chione for cycle helmets.

he refused to walk after his tartan coat was put on.

The Scottie dogs were used as a symbol of Scotland. Each country had their own dog leading them out and each dog wore a tartan coat. It was supposed to show another traditional aspect from the country, and most countries around the world praised the unique decision.

However, some of the Muslim communities have claimed that it was “disrespectful” and that they deserve an apology. The Malaysian community has been extremely vocal about it, considering a team member had to carry the dog out instead of having the dog walk in front. The Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party believes that the organizers should have been more aware of the religious views and been more accepting of them.

 

Saturday – warm, a tad humid (unusual) and sunny.

 

We’re both up on the mountain as volunteer hosts today. Quite busy, but considering there are 80,000 people in town for the Kimble Arts Festival – it’s a bit like Sundance but all condensed into 3 days, manic – it’s not too bad. Mind you why anyone would pay $10 for the privilege of going shopping defies rational belief and should be resisted. In true Victor fashion we pass. After all said if Walmart catch wind of it they’ll be charging for going in their stores.

An all American barbecue. Essential. Every home has one.

An all American barbecue. Essential. Every home has one.

After “work” Todd and Nancy give us a lift around to Marcia’s Barbecue. A typical American sort of do, complete with an all American giant gas barbecue, where Marcia has invited friends, family and fellow mountain hosts to a barbie held at the pavilion on a local sports ground. They provide meat and drinks (alcohol not allowed on the sports grounds, well it is Utah) and everyone brings something – a Jacobs join.

A pleasant evening was had. Meet new people. Hear their stories and share experiences and views. What a great life they lead out here.

What in the name of VHF, UHF and Freesat has happened to British TV. We are now down to watching 3 programmes a week. I don’t count East
Dreaming of winter.

Dreaming of winter.

Enders, watched by her in doors. Good Chione, if it carries on at this rate we’ll end up watching American adverts with just a smidgen of TV programmes sprinkled in between them to try and re-kindle a few brain cells.

Well that’s it decided for me. When I get home I’m disconnecting my Freesat aerial and watching all TV on BBC iPlayer and other catch up services. Thats £145pa saved for a poor pensioner. It’s no longer worth it. What’s more it’s perfectly legal to do so – see text from TV license site:

“The law states that you need to be covered by a TV Licence if you watch or record television programmes, on any device, as they’re being shown on TV. This includes TVs, computers, mobile phones, games consoles, digital boxes and Blu-ray/DVD/VHS recorders.

You don’t need a licence if you don’t use any of these devices to watch or record television programmes as they’re being shown on TV – for example, if you use your TV only to watch DVDs or play video games, or you only watch ‘catch up’ services like BBC iPlayer or 4oD.”

Oh how often I wish this.

Using his software how often I wished I could do this.

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about eleven things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

PCMR roller coaster.

PCMR roller coaster.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were:
So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. *This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.
(Do that on your own time.)

Dreaming of winter.

Dreaming of winter.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

If you can read this…thank a Teacher.

If you can read this in English…thank a Soldier!

Now….think about this and smile. If you don’t agree, go stick your head in the SAND and take a DEEP BREATH!

Question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife
Mountain views.

Mountain views.

comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities.In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

If I'm cooking tonight then enjoy.

If I’m cooking tonight then enjoy.

Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Rednecks Answer:

BANG!

Texan’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click… (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)
Wife: “Sweetheart, he looks like he’s still moving, what do you kids think?”
Son: “Mom’s right Dad, I saw it too…”
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: “Nice grouping Daddy”

A busy day on the mountain.

A busy day on the mountain.

And you think we’ve got it bad in the UK. It’s just as crazy in Australia. A muslim cleric called Abdul rag head something unintelligible; illegal immigrant; told to get out of Australia 3 times; him, his wife and 7 children lived on social for 19 years, never worked a day and over $1,000,000 in welfare; found guilty of a plot to blow up 1,000’s.

Wake up, have a few swigs of your favourite tipple, before it’s too late. The so called religion of peace has only one goal.

Then to add even more stupidity, it was decided not to air this piece on TV. Yes, it seems the Aussies have their fair share of loony liberal PC stormtroopers, stomping in their jack boots on anything that may offend the religion of peace or make us more aware of the problem.

 

Sunday – hot and sunny.

 

Dreaming of winter.

Dreaming of winter.

I’m on the mountain again covering for Wendy. The Sunday hosts team are the most easy going to work with. Every thing just works like clockwork. Everyone just gets along. No need for lists, timetables, schedules or instructions. Customer comes first.

Sundays also usually a quieter day than Saturday.

As the buses are all to cock, due to the Kimble Arts Festival, I ride in on my bike and arrive as sweaty as a water hogs backside – much too warm. It’s all uphill getting there, evidenced by the ride home not needing any peddle power, all down hill cruising.

There’s something quite refreshing though about riding to work on a bike. Haven’t done that since we lived in Market Harborough back in the 1970’s.

Easy day spent mainly doing surveys. Get to chat with some really interesting people.

In the evening there’s more Dexter. Finally on the 8th season. Just need to manage to stay awake.

RA’s Wayne LaPierre calls for more armed personnel after whatever massacre just happened.

Since gun control is way too wacky of an idea, maybe we should just laminate everyone in Kevlar instead.

So what was it I had for breakfast.

So what was it I had for breakfast.

Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, ‘Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.’

Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: ‘Well, stop clapping!’

Just watched a programme “Kids and guns”, about America gun culture and it’s impact on children.

Mormon trek statue.

Mormon trek statue.

Shows that proud moment when the kid gets their first gun. It’s a family thing. One family buy a .4 rifle for a 4 year olds girls birthday. It kicks like a mule. She hates it. The parents then try everything to get her to like it. What if she doesn’t want to shoot? She’s going to shoot whether she wants to or not, says the Dad.

A 9 year old goes off hunting on his own. Gun goes off accidentally and kills him.

Parents pushing their kids to enjoy guns. Their tradition of guns and hunting to be passed on. Even so called Zombie hunting with their kids.

To put it into perspective +30,000 kids a year are killed or injured from gunshots. But, hey remember the NRA motto “Guns don’t kill, people do”.

Yes we’re in Utah. Home state of the Mormons, but fear not Park city is a haven of sanity, a sodom and Gomorrah up in the mountains, even though we’re surrounded by Mormons. Now for those of you who don’t know about this weird religion (mind you what religion isn’t weird) here’s South Parks take on it.

Yes, you got it. Jesus came to America. How could the USA have possibly missed out on it. No doubt he was probably a bigger and better Jesus than they had in the Holy Land. No doubt it won’t be too long before we hear that Mohamed came to America too. Perhaps there’ll be a new Islam.