20170319 – At The Gun Range We Trade Water Pistols And Bows, For 45’s And 19mm Guns

Sunday – hot and sunny.

Jasper on the Magic Carpet on his way to First Time. Saves walking up hill.

Kurt and I take Jasper on First Time. Kurts got him on leashes. He loves it and the occasional fall doesn’t bother him unless he gets a bit of snow in his gloves. Hal and Angela joins us.

Ice cream time at MacD’s.

Kurt gets knackered snow ploughing down with Jasper. What about Papa, who’s also having to snowplow all the way down as he runs interference. Remind Kurt that I had the same with 3 of them. And look what a great skier he’s turned out to be – proud and jealous. Wish I was that good.

Angela shows Jasper snowplough with the hope he’ll copy but he’s having none of it. Sticking with parallel. After 3 runs down First Time Jasper and Angela head off home with Fiona and Wendy. They end up at MacD’s for lunch.

Kurt, Hal, Chris and I head up Crescent for some proper Spring skiing. Have 3 runs in slush with them and then head off down and leave them to the tender mercies of Hal. He takes them on a good tour and puts them through their paces.

Jasper on leashes so we can stop him.

Skiing down the bowling alley I get yet another scumboarder try to take me out. Fortunately he falls and just hits the back of my boots so I don’t fall. As you can imagine I give him the benefit of an expanded olde English vocabulary. Only a knuckle dragging lunatic would have gone so fast and out of control in that crowded section. Just stupid scum. Should be banned. Perhaps it should be Deer Scumboardless Valley next year for me.

Get back home for shower and change and then head off to a PCMSC apres ski afternoon. Take our own booze and some food. There’s a fantastic selection with awesome Carnitas from Helen, other Mexican dishes and amazing Key Lime and lemon meringue pie.

End of another awesome day here in paradise.

Snow may be crap but at least we’ve got some and how fortunate can we be to have the kids and grandkids out here. Just awesome to get to ski with Jasper at last and watch him come on. Brings back memories. A new generation of skiers.

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Well riding the surf board of life this week is a real treat. I get to ski with Jasper nearly every day and having the kids here is awesome, Feeling very grateful. We’ll really miss them when they go home.

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Greatest George Carlin Quotes

I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

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The picture that this whining harridan wants to get rid of.

Says it all. When will we ever be rid of this gobby harridan who’s trying to sell the jocks knitted smoke. Let’s give them another once in a lifetime vote two years after BREXIT, but this time England should get a say whether they stay or go. If this whining jockess bag pipe and her ilk are still in power then let’s rebuild Hadrians Wall and get shut of them.

Monday – hot and sunny.

Finally the 8th army gets out. No doubt about it the more people involved the more complex it is. It’s exponential 1 person has a factor of 1; 2 = 4; 3 = 9; 4 = 16 and if there’s a 3 year involved then double it. God only knows how we ever managed to win two World wars.

Even Beatrix enjoys it out here.

Driving away and Kurt realised he’s forgot his boots.

Take Jasper straight to first time – slow walking with a 3 year old in ski boots. Meet up with Helen who wants to see Jasper ski. Now Kurt can’t find his ski pass. So we ski down home run with Jasper and wait while Kurt gets a new pass. Just one of those days as I remain balanced on my surfboard of life.

Helen just can’t put Beatrix down.

By now Helens had enough excitement for a week. We take Jasper 2 runs down First Time. The snows awful slush but he copes alright. If you can ski this, you can skiing anything.

Still can’t convince Jasper to snowplough, I think he wants to miss that stage out and go for the downhill skier style. Sadly he hasn’t learned to stop yet, a fairly critical fundamental skill.

Lazy afternoon and then Helen and George pick me up to go to a slide show and lecture, at the museum, on steam trains to Park City. Interesting and well attended.

Lovely blanket crocheted by Helen for Beatrix.

H & G come round for tea and to see Beatrix and Jasper. They’re such kind and great friends. Helens crocheted Beatrix a beautiful blanket, such a thoughtful gift, and Jaspers not forgotten with a collection of trucks and diggers.

A lovely evening with good friends. I think George might be getting worried as Helen can’t put Beatrix down.

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As usual there is all this hot air and revolt from the liberal bed wetting PC storm troopers about hard BREXIT and leaving the Single market and customs union, yet I doubt most don’t even appreciate the difference. If they did they would know that remaining in the single market = free movement of people. While remaining in the Customs Union means we could not negotiate tariff and deals with other countries. Certainly not what we voted for.

Here’s a simple table that explains the various options:

Single Market = 4 Freedoms of movement of goods, people, services and capitol.

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

Mac D’s yet again.

Kids take a day off and go down to the second major sporting activity in Park City. Yes, it’s a trip to the Tangier Outlets, both a winter and summertime activity thats not yet recognised by the Olympic Committee, but who knows the 500 Metre Outlet Store Trolley Dash could become an Olympic event. Jasper gets to stay with Wendy.

I venture forth for a few runs. With all the excitement of snowploughing down First Time with our star, it seems ages since I did any proper skiing. After a few runs, some coffee and catching up on my blog I’ve had enough. Spring slush puppy skiing is not that good, but at least we have snow.

Lazy afternoon trying to figure out all the gizmos on the drug mobile. If you wave your foot under the back it opens the boot for you; if you want to fold down the 2nd or 3rd row seats then there are buttons for that; the drivers seat has an orgasm if you drive to close to an object and vibrates on the left or right; it shows you if you wander out of your lane; it warns you if it thinks you’ve nodded off; it warns you if a cars coming up in your blind spot; it even has onboard wifi and satnav. Sadly it doesn’t park itself, mind you it needs a slot the size of a football pitch and does 16 MPG.

Then it’s off to dinner at Hal and Carols. They give Kurt and Fiona the guided tour of their new home, it’s massive and awesome. You can easily get lost.The view of sunset over the Timpanogos is beautiful. Meanwhile Angela and Jasper are having a whale of a time playing and chasing one another. Dinner’s Raclet, a friendly cook it yourself style of meal. After dinner we relax while Jasper and Angela torment Hal.

Another lovely evening with great friends. All part of our PC social whirl.
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Software is slowing faster than hardware is accelerating.

The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad!

Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

The Unix philosophy basically involves giving you just enough rope to hang yourself. And then a couple of feet more, just to be sure.

Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result.

What boots up must come down.

Windows is just DOS in drag.

Wednesday – rain, sleet and snow depending where you are on the mountain.

Rain, rain, rain stops play. Really cruel to the snow. Quite rare to encounter rain in winter, reminds us of home. So it’s no skiing today.

Fiona takes aim.

Wendy’s off to volunteer at the Christian Centre. The kids are still in bed. No doubt they’ll eventually get organised.

A trip to the Outlets is on the cards.

Then in the afternoon we see the news of the islamic terrorist attack in London.

When will we wake up from our slumber and smell the coffee. Let face it these terrorist activities are in the name of Islam.

Kurt with his weapon.

Islam should be held accountable.

If you doubt it go read the Quran.

I nip up to Heber to pick my mountain bike up from Hal. Angela comes round for a sleep over.

In the evening we troop off down to Park City Gun Club. Fiona, Kurt, Hal, Bob, George and I are all shooting. I think the club must think it’s a nursery invasion as Beatrix, Jasper, Angela, Wendy and Helen colonise the lounge and turn it into a playgroup outing.

We have a range of guns, 45’s and 9mm. When I’m shooting the target is the safest place to be. Take aim, fire and miss. Amazing how difficult it is to load the gun clips with those sharp pointy things. Given this ultra-convieniance society it’s a wonder that Americans don’t get the clips ready loaded. Wow those 45’s have a real kick. We all have a great evening and Fiona actually enjoys it. Quite proud of her that she went.

I think us Brits will be passing on NRA membership. An enjoyable experience but thank the FSM we don’t have guns in the UK.

Then it’s off to Chubasco’s for an awesome Mexican takeaway. Perfect end to a very sad day.
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How to Correctly Draw Muhammad:

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When will we smell the coffee and realise fundamental islam is at war with us.

Well they’re at it again. When will we wake up, smell the coffee and start to realise that the problem in our midst is Islam. Islamic Fundamentalist and the Quran is the problem. If you doubt it go read the Quran. Read the 109 paragraphs that promote violence. Realise that this is not just a religion but a complete political ideology whose aim is World domination, the overthrow of Western democracy and the implementation of Sharia throughout the World.

The Quran incites violence yet is not illegal or illegal to sell it. But the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994 inserted Section 4A into the Public Order Act 1986. That part prohibits anyone from causing alarm or distress. Section 4A states:

At the gun range.

(1) A person is guilty of an offence if, with intent to cause a person harassment, alarm or distress, he— (a) uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour, or (b) displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, thereby causing that or another person harassment, alarm or distress.

Read the Quran and it will certainly cause any “infidel” distress.

Fiona practicing before she gets her hands on a real gun.

Meanwhile the liberal bed wetters will no doubt be gobbing off that it’s all nothing to do with islam – the religion of pieces and permanent offence. Let’s face it these liberal PC do gooders, our political leaders and their multiculturalism are partially responsible for this state of affairs. For too long now we’ve bent over backwards to accommodate, like dhimis rushing towards our own demise. Time to get our values back, our country back, recognise the problem and deal with these extremists and any of their supporters harshly. It’s a war.

20170314 – At Last I Get To Ski With Jasper

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

Jasper and his Park City toys. It’s like Christmas day all over again.


Lazy morning’s skiing.

Pick up the Hertzmobile. Get a great free upgrade to 8 seater Yukon / XL with all the bells and whistles you can imagine. Needs a 500 page manual to know what all the knobs and switches do, but still can’t figure out how to open the tailgate from inside. You need a step ladder to climb in it and it’s a proper drug mobile in black with black tinted windows to complete the image.

Carol pops round and then we go for afternoon tea at Barbara’s – except that there’s no tea just wine. As I’m driving there’s no wine for me.

Drive down to Salt Lake airport to pick the kids up. Flights on time but Delta’s lost Beatrix’s car seat. Fortunately they get a loaner. Jasper and Beatrix were really well behaved on the two flights.
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I wish life had an Undo function.

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashes… oh, wait a minute, he already does.

Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

Jasper at 05:30, just like Christmas Day.

Up at the crack of sparrows (05:00) with the kids.

Another summers day.

Off for a mid morning ski. Timing is all. Too early and its a frozen slush puppy; too late and you’re on a soggy slush puppy; there’s a 5 minute sweet spot between 10:55 and 11:00.

Manage a few easy runs – extra cautious so close to finally getting a o ski with Jasper. Have a leisurely coffee and some sun sat outside the Viking Yurt.

Beatrix in her chair.

Leisurely afternoon. We take Jasper for a ride on the bus to, yes you guessed it, the supermarket. Get some marbled rye bread ready for my corned beef Reuben’s on rye – awesome. Then had a summers day stroll back.

By 19:00 keep we are cream crackered and all tucked up in bed. We manage to doze through Billions.
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When you refuse to accept the ski seasons over:

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We-Vibe fined $3 million for spying on its customers through their smart vibrator.

The ultimate in Internet of Things abuse.

Thursday – hot and sunny.

Jasper’s first time on First Time lift.

Like a summers day.

Awesome mornings skiing on the magic carpet with the kids and Jasper. He’s coming on great, really enjoying it and really wanted to go on the big lift to the big slope. He sat still all the way up and handled it like a pro. I think we were all more nervous.

Jasper on the magic carpet.

That’s it now. Next stop top of the mountain for Jasper.

He did really well. We had to drag him off.

Meanwhile Wendy tries to drive the drug mobile, to pick me up from the locker. Three of them, all drivers, a manual to complete with a “War And Peace” manual and not one of them can figure out how to put it in gear.

All good things come to an end. As I drop Wendy and Fiona of at the Tangier outlets for a mega retail therapy session.

Family day on the magic carpet.

Kurt and I take Jasper to MacDs for an ice cream – reward for good skiing. Then we pass away the time at Starbucks. Hours later we pick em up at Walmart – joy. How can anyone manage to whittle away so much time in Walmart? In the time it takes them they could have negotiated a take over bid for the whole chain and concluded a U.K. and USA trade deal.

Mind you Walmart’s a fascinating place for people watching. Hal says only the crazy people go there. Well you certainly get some “interesting” suitable cases for treatment.

An hour later and Walmarts swallowed them all up without a trace. I’ve lost the will to live and meanwhile my bottle of Zinfandel back home has oxidised and gone off.

Moral of this saga is, show Wendy how to put the drug mobile in gear.

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Europe the theft of democracy – a blast from the past. Just to remind everyone the reason for BREXIT:

Friday – hot and sunny.

On the big lift – First Time.

Another awesome mornings skiing on the magic carpet with Kurt and Jasper. He’s coming on great, really enjoying it. After 2 runs down the magic carpet he set off towards the big lift – First Time – “wanna go on that”. A bit like av”Little Britain” wheelchair sketch. And off he goes.

On the magic carpet.

Kurts got him on the rains, so much easier and at least there’s some semblance of control, essential as he’s not a clue how to stop. He seems to be missing out the snowplough / pizza stage and going straight to parallel skiing.

He did really well again.

In the afternoon we pick Bob and Marilyn up and head off to TGIF at Deer Valley. Don’t recognise a lot of the people there, must be the Deer Valley lot. Somehow they don’t seem as friendly and inclusive. Food not that good so we go out for dinner with B & M to the Boneyard – good choice of American food and not expensive.

By the time we get home Chris has arrived.

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Greatest George Carlin Quotes

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.

So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.

Catholic — which I was until I reached the age of reason.

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.

God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.

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The bane of my life. Wasn’t like this in my day!

We need to talk about code. Bad code. Cyberattacks grab all the headlines but they only account for just over half of IT-related incidents in corporations. Outages, data corruption, delays and poor service resulting from old and degraded software and dodgy source code account for most of the rest. Together they represent a hidden risk to modern businesses that is often referred to as the “IT debt” and that has been assessed at more than $1 trillion.

I’m sure BBC iPlayer must be experts in bad code. As incompetent as they’re biased. Time for a Saturday afternoon lion feeding.

Saturday – hot and sunny.

Wendy doing Nana duties.

Day off from skiing as it’s so busy up there.

Fiona in the drug mobile.

Take Jasper to the park, of course no day would be complete without a trip to the supermarket in the Drugmobile. Needs a football pitch to park it.

Hal, Carol and Angela come round for dinner. Have a great evening together as usual. Angela plays so well with Jasper, he tends to boss her about a bit but she’s very good with him.

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The most wonderful form of Jihad: