Monthly Archives: June 2017

20170618 – Fathers Day

Sunday – hot and sunny.

Waiting for the bus.

Fathers day greetings from all the kids.

Then we pop up to the silly market with Anne and Kevin. Wendy and I walk back and have a lazy afternoon.
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Life is good here in paradise. Free coffee at PCMR base. Wot no snow! Have to settle for sun, hiking, biking, kayaking and archery.

As they say you come for the winter but stay for the summer.

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A few more EU jokes to help our BREXIT negotiators deal with this bureaucratic monster:

The Temple Salt lake.

On Dutch people
–Why did Ikea stop opening stores in the Netherlands?
– They couldn’t afford the free pencils anymore.
Germans make a lot of fun about the Dutch and people living in East Frisia, a German region closed to Netherlands. They depict the Dutch either as marijuana smokers, skinflint or slow drivers on motorways (typically with a caravan attached to their car). Germans particularly laugh at the Dutch accent (Read more in French).
Poland

On German people
– What is the name of this German who always hides my glasses?
-Alzheimer, grandpa!
A bit like in Ireland against England, Poles fought back in response to German jokes by inventing their own jokes. With the long historical struggle they had with their neighbor, and the sources for jokes they could find in Nazi regime, Polish people went to make jokes on Germans, depicting them as authoritarians, not good-looking and bad lovers (Read more in French).
Switzerland

Salt Lake Temple square

On Austrian people
“Why is the Austrian flag ‘red-white-red’?
– So that they can’t raise it upside-down.  
For linguistic reasons, Swiss-Germans frequently make fun of Austrians, depicting them as dumb, provincial and foolish (Read more in French).

On Belgian people
– Did you know the Belgian Ministry of Transport has introduced a new sign?
– It reads “End of Roundabout”.
Swiss living in the French-speaking area tend to vehicle the same jokes as French people about Belgians. It is interesting to notice that Swiss-French depict Belgians just as Swiss-Germans depict Austrians (Read more in French).
Italy

Monday – hot and sunny.

State Capitol building

Up early to avoid the heat. Off down to Salt Lake. Visit the State Capitol and have an excellent free tour. Very opulent with marble shipped from the East coast when there is a superb and ample supply of granite down the canyons. If it was good enough for the Temple then you’d think it would have done for the State Capital. But there again you have to remember it’s politicians frittering away the hard earned money of the masses.
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It is urgent that we name our enemy (i.e. Islamic Jihad) and definitively identify what ideology inspires our enemy (i.e. Islamic law)

Once the truth is accepted that jihadis are inspired and sanctioned by their Islamic texts, it must logically become required that mosques, Islamic schools and groups have to immediately curtail any teaching that motivates sedition, violence, and hatred of unbelievers (i.e. remember how CAIR advised Muslims not to talk to the FBI).

After the July 7, 2005, London subway bombing by Muslim terrorists that killed 52 people, the British MI5 undertook its own highly sophisticated study, examining hundreds of cases. But the UK’s security agency discovered that terrorists are a wildly diverse lot. They worshipped at a variety of different mosques, for example.

Some terrorists were very religious Muslims and some barely practicing. Most were men, but some were women. There were young and old terrorists, highly educated as well as uneducated, some loners and some married with children.

So, according to MI5, the predictive power of every factor is very low — other than: Is a Muslim.

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Don’t get me wrong I love it here in America and we have some awesome American friends. But how the hell does anything ever get done. Trying to organise anything with commercial organisations is an absolute nightmare. No one rings back. They haven’t a clue. They can’t make a decision, have rounder shoulders than the hunchback of Notre Dam. They have the organisational skill and enterprise of a blind and deaf sloth. Trump must be ripping his orange mane out, if my experiences are anything to go by.

These ditherers and clusterfucks seem to be using a croissant as a dildo. It just doesn’t do the job and makes a mess.

As if to make my point. A superb example of intelligence in action. A few of these drivers are obviously a beer short of a six-pack.

It really is time for some brown envelopes (that’s a pink slip in American)

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

Totem pole carved into a tree next to the Bear House on the ski slopes.

Well I set the alarm for 04:00 to go for a dawn photo shoot down the Provo River. Sounded really good but it’s dark, had a quick pee and went back to bed – too tired, too early. Give up on the idea until sunrise is about 08:00.

Out for a 09:00 bike ride. Scouting out a leisure bike ride from Boneyard to the hospital. Coffee at the hospital and then ride back to the Boneyard. Should make a good leisure ride and ends at a pub.

Then Bob picks us up for a “Death March” up to the Deer Valley Bear House. Straight up the ski run. A sure way for a coronary. I’d rather come down one. Reward ourselves with a beer on the deck at the “No Name Saloon”. Relaxing up there watching the world go by. As Bob would say “I wonder what the poor people are doing?”.

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Time for a short speech.

On Italian people
– What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pocket?
– A mute
Italians don’t seem to have a peculiar national target for their jokes. They do have some jokes about French, German and English, but not to the same way as other countries have with their neighbors. On the other hand, Italians have a lot of jokes about themselves, their Moms, their FIAT and their policemen. Click on the link to see the now famous joke about an Italian who went to Malta. It’s worthwhile (Read more in French).
Austria

On German people 
The Prime Ministers of Germany and Austria met to exchange notes.
– How are things in Germany? asked the Prime Minister of Austria.

Trout stream inside the Mall.

The German sighed:
– Well, in Germany the situation is serious, he said, but not hopeless.
– In Austria the situation is hopeless, the Austrian Prime Minister replied, but not serious.
The Austrians have lots of jokes that emphasize how disorderly and happy-go-lucky they are compared to their Teutonic neighbors (Read more in French).
Czech Republic

On Slovak people
“The Slovak language has been invented by Stur has he was drunk and tried to translate Russian to Czech”
When Slovak and Czech people tell jokes, they actually tend to laugh at each other, but most of the cases, they tell the same jokes exactly. The jokes often insist on the few differences between their languages, since they have sometimes misunderstandings due to linguistic differences. The fact they both tell these jokes proves that they have the same humor and they understand perfectly the expressions used (Read more in French).
Slovakia

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John Cleese on Political correctness and Islam.

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

Free Deer valley concert. Picnic and wine.

Wendy volunteering at the Christian Centre whilst I volunteer at the NAC. Great morning Kayaking with the NAC.

Try pumping my bike tyres up. One explodes, I nearly die of fright.

In the evening it’s a free concert at Deer Valley with Bob and Marilyn. Picnic and beer on the lawn.
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On Czech people

Down town Salt Lake

A Slovak man, a Polskie man and a Czech man buy German cars.
The Slovak man buys a Mercedes-Benz.
The Polskie man buys a BMW.
And the Czech man buys a Trabant.
Slovaks have many jokes about Czech people mainly dealing with backwardness, robberies and sexual deviance. Some jokes imply that Czech people are ignorant to the scientific and technological advances of other countries. Others imply that Czechs are heavy drinkers who choose to drink before they think in life or death situations (Read more in French).
Lithuania

Deer valley concert.

On Estonian people
– Why is that in Estonia young mothers change their children’s nappy only once a day?
– Because there is a note written on the packet: up to 4 kg.
Lithuanians often make jokes about Estonians telling about how stupid and slow they are. Most of the jokes actually insist on the excessive slowness of Estonians. A scholar, Arvo Krikmann, even published a paper in which he analyzed the frequency of the supposed Estonian slowness in Baltic jokes (Read more in French).

Wendy having a 16 year old moment as she enjoys the free concert

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UN elects Saudi Arabia to UN agency “dedicated to promotion of gender equality and empowerment of women”
The Geneva-based human rights group UN Watch condemned the U.N.’s election of Saudi Arabia, “the world’s most misogynistic regime,” to a 2018-2022 term on its Commission on the Status of Women, the U.N. agency “exclusively dedicated to the promotion of gender equality and the empowerment of women.”
“Electing Saudi Arabia to protect women’s rights is like making an arsonist into the town fire chief,” said Hillel Neuer, executive director of UN Watch. “It’s absurd.”

Thursday – hot and sunny.

Don’t mess with my harem.

Wendy volunteers at the hospital. Bob picks me up and we drive up to Bills home to help him load his 3 kayaks and then we’re off down to the Jordanelle for a good morning kayaking around. I was expecting the normal, cheap and cheerful, plastic kayaks. Turns out Bills got the real mcCoy. Fibre glass and slender. Just about manage to fit in. Thankfully manage not to tip it despite waves fit to surf on.

In the afternoon I’m instructing archery with the NAC. As we only have one student and two instructors we have a fun afternoon shooting and trying different bows.

Friday – hot and sunny.

Happy Independence Day everyone – let’s hope our bed wetting politicians deliver and don’t sell us out.

Solitude resort.

Take Kevin and Anne on a guided tour up over Guardsmen Pass, down Big Cottonwood Canyon, down Little Cottonwood Canyon and then back over Guardsmen pass.

Stop off to do a short hike up to the top of Jupiter Bowl but abandon play when we encounter snow on the trail.

Silver lake.

Have a leisurely walk around Silver lake and then set off up to Twin Lake but Wendy’s knee starts playing up half way so we quit.

Have a picnic lunch at Solitude and stop off for coffee and a tour around the camping fair at Snowbird.

In the evening Wendy and I go to the TGIF with Bob.
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The record-breaking heat that made 2016 the hottest year ever recorded has continued into 2017, pushing the world into “truly uncharted territory”, according to the World Meteorological Organisation.

The WMO’s assessment of the climate in 2016, published on Tuesday, reports unprecedented heat across the globe, exceptionally low ice at both poles and surging sea-level rise.

Global warming is largely being driven by emissions from human activities, but a strong El Niño – a natural climate cycle – added to the heat in 2016. The El Niño is now waning, but the extremes continue to be seen, with temperature records tumbling in the US in February and polar heatwaves pushing ice cover to new lows.

“Even without a strong El Niño in 2017, we are seeing other remarkable changes across the planet that are challenging the limits of our understanding of the climate system. We are now in truly uncharted territory,” said David Carlson, director of the WMO’s world climate research programme.

Saturday – hot and sunny.

Awesome mountains.

Lazy start to the day. Fix my exploded tyre.

Wendy and Anne get their weekly fix at the supermarket whilst I take a bike ride down to Quinns Junctions and back to the Boneyard. Just miss running over a snake.

I get a long chat with Jasper. Such a happy chap.

Wendy volunteers at the Christian Centre in the afternoon whilst I nip up to Campos for some coffee. Get a free coffee sat out on their deck enjoying the sunshine and watching the World go by.
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Sharia is the problem

A stroll through the mountains.

Those who seek its imposition through stealthy, pre-violent techniques are also enemies, not just “violent” jihadists.

Sharia is an inherently violent, totalitarian doctrine derived from the Koran and other sacred Islamic texts.

The authorities of Islam declare Sharia to be the true faith. They regard non-adherent Muslims as perverters of Islam and apostates, deserving death.

Many Muslims reject Sharia. But hundreds of millions adhere to Sharia and, thus, to its intolerance and jihad.

The sacred texts of Islam and authori­tative renderings of Sharia make clear that jihad is “holy war” against infidels.

Supremacist mosques are multipurpose facilities, used for worship and recruiting and equipping jihadists.

It is not irrational to fear terrifying jihadism. Sharia is intolerant, hateful and requires infidels’ submission.

The Muslim Brotherhood seeks to “destroy Western civilization from within.” It and other Sharia-supremacist groups are enemies, not an ally.

Insistence on not offending Muslims restricts free expression and clear understanding, deterring people who “see something” from saying anything.

We face a global jihad movement that has no counterpart among returning veterans, Tea Party activists, etc.

20170613 – Hiking, Biking and Kayaking. A Tough Life.

Tuesday – cold and raining.

Deer Valley

Sadly the promised snow did not materialise in the town. They got a sprinkling on the mountain.

Dropped Wendy off at the hospital to volunteer. Bit of a lazy day for me. Too cold and wet for my short bike ride.

Went to an outdoor photography lecture at the library. Interesting.Made me realise how poorly I know my camera. What are all those knobs and buttons for? I just put it on auto and it spews out pretty pictures. Memo to self, explore my camera more.

In the evening we go out for dinner and bridge lessons at Bob and Marilyn’s. Bob knows how to play bridge so he’s taken on the onerous task of teaching the 3 of us. Have a great evening.Great food with spicy carnitas. Great company and thanks to Bob we get to understand the basics. Certainly a complex game and needs good memory and strategy. Seems like having a winking code between you and your partner is out, and no you can’t write things down or use your iPhone. Challenging.
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This just has to be a joke. XHamster wants to help you watch your weird porn in peace. The adult entertainment titan has lent a helping hand to a startup aspiring to build a cutting edge solution designed to save you from the embarrassment of getting caught in the act – once and for all.

Now the adult entertainment titan is asking you to chip in for the crowdfunding campaign so the device can make it to market.

The ‘minimeyes’ – as it’s called – is an inconspicuous motion sensor that leverages infrared technology to mute your speakers and hide all open windows from your desktop as soon as it detects unexpected intruders.

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Islam and Terrorism – interesting commentary:

Wednesday – cool and sunny.

Deer Valley

Up and out early with Bob to try out the ride down to Starbucks and back up to the old Barn ready for Fridays “Leisure Bike” ride that Im leading. Wow its a tad cold. Stop at Starbucks for a well deserved coffee. Manager confirms they will do a free coffee tasting at 11:30 for us riders on Friday – just like the US governments promise to the Indians, not worth a bean.

Just get back from my morning’s exertions, when Hal and Angela turn up ready for our afternoon hike. Pick Bob up and off we go with Angela channeling away, picking flowers and playing eye spy. Walk Mid Mountain from Silver Lake down to Deer Crest and then down to Snow Park Lodge. A pleasant, mainly downhill hike. Entertainment provided by Angela, she did really well to complete it.

Anne and Kevin arrive about 21:30 after a long drive up from Las Vegas.
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In preparation for the start of BREXIT talks it’s time to remind us why we want out with a few EU jokes:

Rest stop on Mid Mountain

On Swedish people 
Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. Ole says,
– The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400 !
– Well, at dat price it’s a good ting we didn’t catch any more of em than we did, says Sven. 

On Norwegian people
– How do you say ‘genius’ in Norway?
– A tourist. 

How the other half live with their own private ski lift.

On Danish people
– Why do Danish people never play hide and seek?
– Because nobody wants to look for them.
Sweden was in the past just a part of the Danish Kingdom. For historical reasons, Swedes still bears the Danes a grudge. Danes tend to be depicted as untrustworthy and imbued with the spirit of dolce far’ niente, a beer-drinking, happy-go-lucky, vaguely unhygienic and profoundly disorganised people (Read more in French).

On Finnish people 
“The difference between a Finnish wedding and a Finnish funeral is that at a funeral there’s one person not having vodka.”

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Manchester Attack: What They’re NOT Telling You. TOLERANCE.

Too true. We are at war. Smell the coffee. Time to do something.

Thursday – hot and sunny.

Deer valley ski lift

Up and out early with Bob and Marilyn for a great morning Kayaking on the Jordanelle reservoir with the PCMSC.

Lazy afternoon. Took Kevin for an orientation drive around PC and a superb coffee in Campos at PCMR base, while Wendy and Anne get their kicks and fix of the week at the local supermarket.

Then it’s off up to the National Ability Centre (NAC) to teach archery. Turns out that we have 3 instructors and just one pupil. Never mind gives us a great chance to get some practice in with their dinky American compounds – yes there is something in America that isn’t bigger. also have a go with a recurve. A new experience but you wonder whether the arrow will have the get up and go to get to the target. Not for me. Prefer my compound with a bit of umphh in it.

Friday – hot and sunny.

Dogs and suds picnic

Led the first of new class of bike ride for the Park City Mountain Sports Club (PCMSC). “Leisure rides” are shorter and slower than the “Tour de France” rides normally done by the club. 8 turned up and had a good ride in great weather. Let down by Starbucks at the last minute, their free coffee tasting didn’t materialise. That’s it from now on will have to boycott them and suffer Nescafe – now theres a fate worse than suffering coffee with ISIS. Contemplating organising a protest march.

Relaxing afternoon.

In the evening we go to the PCMSC’s “Dogs and Suds” picnic with Kevin and Anne. No the dogs doesn’t mean you have to bring a dog, it’s merely hot dogs. As for Suds, well they’re beer. Didn’t find that in my “Teach Yourself American” book.You give them a language and oh how they pervert it. Pleasant evening with Bob and Marilyn also.
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More on the EU:

Park City from Payday

On Swedish people 
– What is the difference between Swedes and Finns?
– The Swedes have nice neighbors!
Finns mainly make fun of Swedes, their direct neighbors. They depict them as not very bright guys with no sense of humor. Surprisingly, Finnish people tend also to make fun of themselves and their alcoholic habits (Read more in French).

Payday lift

On Swedish people
“Keep Denmark clean – show a Swede to the ferry.”
Since there was a historical fight for hegemony between Denmark and Sweden, Danish people tend to depreciate their northern neighbors in their jokes. The joke above may be a reference to the Swedish habits of coming to Denmark to buy alcohol and get drunk in the ferries on their way back to Sweden.

On Belgian people
– Why wasn’t Jesus born in Belgium?
– God couldn’t find three wise men in Belgium.
Dutch humor has changed over the centuries. In the 16th century, the Dutch were renowned for their humor throughout Europe, and a large number of travel journals have notes on the happy and celebratory nature of the Dutch. But with the decline of the country over centuries, Dutch lost their sense of humor. During the Second World War, Americans soldiers were even instructed not to tell jokes to the Dutch as “they wouldn’t appreciate it” ! Dutch have nowadays a dark ironic and sarcastic humor which is often quite bold.

9th smile this year. Exhausting.

On Polish people
– What do you call it when 2 whites are pushing a car?
-White Power
-What do you call it when 2 blacks are pushing a car?
– Black Power
– What do you call it when 2 Poles are pushing a car?
– Grand theft auto.
Some of the earliest Polish jokes, also called Polack jokes, in reference to an ethnic slur, might have been told originally before World War II in disputed border-regions such as Silesia, wrote Christie Davies in The Mirth of Nations suggesting that “Polish jokes” did not originate in Nazi Germany, but a lot earlier, as an outgrowth of regional jokes rooted in “social class differences reaching back to the nineteenth century”. In the US, polish jokes are very popular. In German jokes, Poles are depicted as lazy and unemployed people who distinguished themselves in the art of stealing.

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Andrew Neil EXPOSES Diane Abbot’s True Colours

Saturday – hot and sunny.

Mid Mountain hike

Up and out early for an easy hike with Bob, Marilyn, Kevin and Anne – Mid-Mountain Empire pass to Payday – followed by a free ride down Payday lift. A tad cold on the lift. Then it’s a Amber Ale in the Legends bar. Took them that long to serve it that by the time it was delivered it had gone stagnant.

Lazy afternoon.

Feet up after the hike.

Then in the evening we all go down to the “Full House” Asian restaurant to celebrate Bob and Marilyn’s 30th wedding anniversary, then back to our place for tea and cake. Well wine and no cake for me.

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Truck of Peace: Antifabulous