Monthly Archives: March 2016

20160325 – Jasper Flies Home

Friday – cold and sunny
IMG_7858Fiona has a day to herself so she’s off for some retail therapy at the Tangier Outlets. We’re on rug rat grandparents duties.

IMG_7854Now we’ve got the green light on MacDonalds we take Jasper there for his last civilized meal here in the USA. I was tempted to really improve his gastronomic experiences and take him to Taco Bell but Nana vetoed that on the spurious grounds that he wouldn’t eat it. Don’t try then you don’t know.

In the evening Wendy and I are off to Kamas for a cowboy show and supper with the Schmitts.

IMG_7876It’s a great evenings entertainment, with typical western music, slapstick humour and songs. Great fiddler and banjo player. The food was awesome, a traditional Western style barbecue with baked beans and smoked brisket to die for. Nice touch at the end of the evening is the entertainers all one up as you exit to shake hands and exchange a few pleasantries.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Hilarious article on common sense and profiling from Jeremy Clarkson – “So I’ll say it. If we really want to carry on with our lives — as we say we do — we need two queues at the airport. One for people who don’t have beards. And one for those who do.”


Whole article can be read here:

Get a grip, ignore the PC storm troopers who helped get us into this mess, START PROFILING. You know it makes sense.

My Sick Humour

Wouldn't surprise me if it came to this.

Wouldn’t surprise me if it came to this.

America’s socialist origins:

Saturday – hot and sunny

IMG_7316Fiona and Jasper’s last day. Some vacillation as whether Jaspers going to ski. In the end he opts for the park. I opt for a lazy day in to rest my gamy leg.

Carol pops round in the evening to say goodbye.

I’m left with a bottle of Merlot and no drinking partner.

My Sick Humour


George Carlin yet again, this time he’s focused on complaints and grievances:

Religion – Beyond Belief

Islamic state, state of the union address 2015:

From the Islamic State comedy club. A group of comedians inside Syria who are risking their life to anonymously post comedy to mock IS.

Sunday – hot and sunny
IMG_7878It’ goodbye to Fiona and Jasper as we drive them down to Salt Lake airport for their long flight home.

We’ll really miss them and it’ll be oh so quiet. Why we’ll even have to talk to one another. Fortunately I’ve enough macaroni pudding to last me 3 days, after that I’ll really be missing Fiona!

We’ve really enjoyed having them, Jaspers kept us entertained and has been well behaved – especially when left with Nana and Papa. He’s been introduced to the finer things in life such as skiing and MacDonalds.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADecide on a Mexican take away from Chubasco’s in the evening. Alas they’re closed, it’s Easter Sunday. We’d forgot because the whole country seems to have forgot it’s Easter, they pay more attention to Valentines day and the pagan halloween festival. Amazing really because the whole country seems to have ignored EASTER; to be politically correct and avoid any offence it’s been renamed spring break; Everywhere’s open Good Friday and Easter Monday; only some of the Mexican restaurants forsake the mighty dollar and close on Easter Sunday; of course the supermarkets remain open throughout with isle upon isle of “Eggs” – not Easter eggs, not spring break eggs, just chocolate eggs.

What has happened to this supposed Christian Nation that they appease the religion of constant offence and cow tow to the feeble minded PC stormtroopers.

My Sick Humour


The opera from syeten – warning adult language:

Religion – Beyond Belief

So who said it? A clue it was a strong, well respected politician and statesmen:

“How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy.The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity.”

No it wasn't this guy, but he was oh so right.

No it wasn’t this guy, but he was oh so right.

“The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property—either as a child, a wife, or a concubine—must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men. Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities. Thousands become the brave and loyal soldiers of the Queen: all know how to die. But the influence of the religion paralyzes the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science—the science against which it had vainly struggled—the civilization of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilization of ancient Rome.”

It comes from Sir Winston Churchill’s unabridged The River War.

20160321 – Jasper At The Discovery Centre

Monday – hot and sunny
IMG_7714Apple announcement. Nothing really exciting.

Hal comes around for some more work on his web site.

In the evening our neighbours come round to explore renting their home next door, next year. We manage to drink a few bottles of wine including an excellent Zinfandel from Boggle. Sounds like we have a deal for next year winter and summer.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell on feminist whores for Islam:

My Sick Humour

IMG_7858When will we ever learn. Stuff politically correct, these barbaric rag heads from the 6th century don’t give a toss about it. And please no more whining that it has nothing to do with islam. Smell the coffee, go read the quran and then tell me it’s nothing to do with islam:

Thankfully the Israelis know how to handle the problem:

IMG_7863Ben Gurion airport in Tel Aviv, often cited as the world’s most secure, relies on profiling. Passengers are closely watched and intensively questioned about who they are and where they are going. Some experts swear by it, but it has been criticised as “politically incorrect”.
Meanwhile, the UK government stresses the importance of good intelligence. But even if it was possible to fully protect air travellers, there are plenty of other places where crowds gather, which could be targeted instead.

Tuesday – cold and snow
3″ snow overnight. We wake up to a heavy snow storm. Mesmerising to watch it tumble down.

IMG_0213Due to snow we abandon our plans for a day in Salt Lake.

A great snowy day.

Nip round to next door to finalise our rental next year. The house is similar to this one but has been tastefully upgraded and is oh so much nicer. We’re renting 1st February 2017 to about 15 April; then 1st June to about 31st August – yeah we get another summer in paradise. Mike and Janelle (the owners) are also doing a home exchange with us in August 2017 so it’s working out pretty good all round.

Then we take Fiona down to MacDonalds, she’s famished. Jasper enjoys it too and this time gets a proper Happy Meal box.

Evening is alcohol free.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Bill Maher destroys Trump again and again:

Wednesday – cold and sunny
9″ snow yesterday.

IMG_7291Take Jasper down to the Discovery Centre in Salt Lake City. A awesome place for kids. Spend a good morning there amidst 200 screaming rug rats. Why would anyone want to go skiing when they could endure this?

IMG_7283Then drive up to City Creek and go for lunch in the Garden restaurant. Great food, reasonably priced and on the 10th floor with stupendous views over the Temple and Salt Lake. Only down side is no coffee or alcohol.

Then it’s across the road for a merchandising opportunity in City Creek. The poor old cripple left shuffling along in the wake of the professional shoppers who storm on. Nothing much new in the Apple store, they don’t have the new iPad in yet. And what sort of a mall is it that doesn’t have a Starbucks. Obviously the Americans are feeling a tad guilty about the Boston Tea Party fiasco as they do at least have a Teavana.

IMG_7825In the evening George and Helen come around for dinner. George and I compare notes not the stupidity of our politicians and rapidly put the world to rights.

My Sick Humour

George Carlin – free floating hostility. A tad close to the knuckle so beware:

Thursday – warm and sunny
IMG_7251Off down to the library for Toddler Time. I get to play in the creative lab with the iMacs and 3D printers. I download my design I want to make but as with all things technology the printer manages to screw up so I have to abandon the project for now.

An evening in quaffing back some wine.

We’re living in a German-dominated Europe of Disharmony – UKIP Leader Nigel Farage

Yet more respect for Farage. About time we had politicians who speak out. Let’s get out.

I'm nosy.

I’m nosy.

(CNN)Donald Trump reacted to the explosions that rocked Brussels Tuesday morning, describing the scene as a “disaster” and warning that “this is just the beginning.”
The Republican front-runner, who has made immigration and security issues central to his 2016 presidential bid, discussed the reported suicide attacks in an interview on Fox News’ “Fox and Friends.”
“I will tell you, I’ve been talking about this a long time, and look at Brussels,” Trump said. “Brussels was a beautiful city, a beautiful place with zero crime. And now it’s a disaster city. It’s a total disaster, and we have to be very careful in the United States, we have to be very careful and very vigilant as to who we allow in this country. ”
IMG_7814Trump ‘fine’ with waterboarding
In an another interview, Trump also said he would be “fine” with waterboarding Salah Abdeslam, one of the leaders of the Paris attacks several months ago who was just captured in Brussels, in order to get more information on potential future attacks.
“Well I’m not looking to break any news on your show, but frankly the waterboarding, if it was up to me, and if we changed the laws or have the laws, waterboarding would be fine,” the Republican front-runner said on NBC’s “Today” show. “I would say they should be able to do whatever they have to do.”
IMG_7244Trump has vacillated in his campaign about whether or not he would pursue using waterboarding — which is considered torture and thus illegal. After getting criticized by former national security officials, Trump said he would instead seek to expand the laws, presumably to make such tactics legal.
‘Armed camp’
On Fox, he described Brussels now as an “armed camp.”
“If you went into Brussels 20 years ago, it was like a magical city. Now you look at it, it’s an armed camp,” Trump said. “You want to lead your life, you don’t want to be living in an armed camp for your whole life. And there is a certain group of people that is making living a normal life impossible.”
“It’s going to get worse and worse. In my opinion, this is just the beginning. It will get worse and worse because we are lax and we are foolish — we can’t allow these people, at this point we cannot allow these people to come into our country. I’m sorry,” he said. “This is a story that just seems to be more and more happening and it’s really not very pretty to watch.”…

20160318 – Concerts Galore; Hot Sunny Yet Again

Friday – hot and sunny
imagePick up the hertz mobile. Gave them a ring to ensure we didn’t have another car bizarre fiasco. Nice toyota camaray, fairly well equipped and with satnav, was waiting on the front.

After lunch Fiona took bug a lugs for a walk down to Kimble Junction. Wendy and I went to the apres ski concert at the Canyons Village. Met Hal up there.

Pat Condell on the decline and fall of the EU:

My Sick Humour

Todays most useless piece of information is how to make fire with a lemon – something every survivalist needs to know:

Religion – Beyond Belief

Radical islam, the most dangerous ideology:

Saturday – hot and sunny

In the toy gondola.

In the toy gondola.

Lazy nerdy morning then went up to the mountain for the entertainment. Band on the deck but sadly the balloons and face painting didn’t materialise. As the young girl with the children board games, who seemed more entranced with her iPhone than the kids in her care, said they’re probably too lazy. Never mind too lazy this cripple dragged himself and rug rat up here on the promise of balloons and face painting. Time someone got a grip.

Time for some wine in the evening. Mind you Fiona was no help.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Trump warns of the muslim problem:


How to beat Aviva Car Insurance at their own devious game.

imageDon’t auto renew. Don’t get a new quote. Don’t trust them.

My auto renewal for two cars came out at about £1,400, twice last years.

I tried a new quote and it came out at about £1,000.

By accident I tried a quote withe wrong date of birth it came out at about £700.

I tried a new quote with my date of birth one day earlier – about £700.

I tried a new quote with my date of birth one day later – about £700.


imageThey’re out to rip off existing customers at the expense of new.

Their computer system uses name, post code and date of birth to identify that they can screw you.


Get a new quote with your date of birth one day out. Web site thinks you’re a newbie.

Phone in to accept but ask them to change your date of birth.

Once they’ve changed your date of birth and confirmed the price hasn’t changed, go and pay online. They charge £20 extra to pay over the phone.

Or better still – Go to a different provider. Sadly they’re all at it.

Report them to Financial Services Ombudsmen and trading standards.

Sunday – hot and sunny
Another lazy nerdy morning.

imageNip round to next door to discuss long term rental next year. It’s a really nice place, better kitted out than this, and would be great for February, March, April and June, July, August next year. They may even be interested in a home exchange.

Early lunch for those that have hollow legs and need feeding. Then we go up to Deer Valley to sit on the deck and enjoy the sun. Jasper has a short shuffle on his skis but as we wouldn’t let him on go on the lift he was not that keen.

imageWhile we’re there a young girl comes flying down the nursery slope. Can’t stop. Crashes onto the deck where here ski’s come to a grinding halt and she experience Newtons First law as she continues flying forward, face plants, onto the concrete deck. Every man and women then crowd round her, move her and almost suffocate her until ski patrol turns up, cut her trousers off, load her onto a body board and takes her to hospital. Poor kid she looks a right mess.

I drive home and the rest walk.

In the evening we’re invited round to next doors for Martinis and nibbles. First vodka martini ever. I wonder if it was shaken? Meet their friends who may be coming on the home exchange to England.

Fiona makes me another awesome Macaroni pudding. Mine, all mine.

Nigel Farage; Angela Merkel in Private is more miserable than she looks in Public:


Now here’s a bit of common sense and an effort to protect against terrorism:

imageCOLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — While Republican front-runner Donald Trump continues to make waves nationally for his comments about banning Muslims from traveling to the country, lawmakers in two very different states are proposing that all refugees register with the government.

Registration bills are being proposed in both New York State and in South Carolina, where if refugees commit an act of terrorism, their sponsors, under the bill, could be held liable.

The South Carolina lawmakers say they are less concerned about a possible constitutional challenge than a possible terrorist threat coming to the state.

imageSponsoring Sen. Kevin Bryant said the bill has three components: a registry of all refugees; civil liability for sponsors of refugees from counties considered state sponsors of terror by the federal government (currently Iran, Sudan and Syria) for crimes committed by refugees; a prohibition on the state spending any money on refugees and their families.

Bryant said the goal of the bill is to protect people’s safety. Nearly 850 refugees from a number of countries in Europe, Africa and the Middle East have come to South Carolina since 2010, with 87 arriving since last summer. The Anderson Republican said if only one of them were to conduct a terrorist attack it would be devastating.

A challenge to the South Carolina law is likely because the law singles people out by county of origin and seems bent toward discriminating against Muslims, said Ibrahim Hooper, spokesman for the [Hamas-linked] Council on American-Islamic Relations.

Perhaps we should also have some legislation to close down any mosque that has been involved in radicalization, supporting ISIS or promoting terrorism. At the same time the Inman and family should be deported.

20160314 – Visit The Sawbones For A Checkup – What’s The Prognosis? Jasper Skiing Again.

Monday – winter storm, so cold and snowing
Take Jasper down to Monkey Mountain, but they’ve gone bust. Never mind a trip to Tangier Outlets is on offer. I get a great body warmer for $60 and Fiona gets a coat for $30.



Thanks to Fiona for saving this important first in Jasper’s life for Papa. Hopefully first of many.

After lunch Fiona takes Jasper out on the golf course for a shuffle around on his skis.

Fiona helps me empty a wine bottle and a half.

My Sick Humour

I don’t believe it, Nike self tying shoes. Love the flashing lights. I wonder if they’ll do a pair with roller blade built in, that would be awesome:

Religion – Beyond Belief

The Islamic State Staff Handbook
(available on intranet)
image1. Welcome to the Islamic State. You do not have to be mad to work here, but it helps.
2. Just our little joke.
3. No, but really.
4. You will find the Caliphate to be a friendly and understanding employer.
5. Or else.
6. Speak to your line manager ASAP about signing up to our Virgin Pension Plan. It is posthumous. It has nothing to do with Richard Branson.
7. Annual leave is capped at four weeks. During this time you are permitted to tour the Caliphate enjoying world-famous sites of historical interest, but only if you blow them up.
8. You may also take three family days. This number remains the same, even if you have several families.
image9. You are responsible for providing and maintaining your own black uniform. Avoid washing with light fabrics.
10. There is a much stricter dress code for martyrdom missions. Remember, you’re an ambassador for the brand. Members of staff who detonate themselves in a public place wearing incorrect attire risk having their employment terminated.
11. Orange jumpsuits are strictly for prisoners. Orange is not the new black.
12. Media training days are not optional. Mouthing anti-western platitudes while pointing at the sky is harder than it looks.
13. Sexual harassment in the workplace is taken very seriously in the Caliphate. Anybody failing to practise it will be shot.
14. Do this twice and you will really be in trouble.
15. Most of all, remember that the Caliphate is a progressive, equal-opportunities organisation. As in, we’re equally happy to kill everyone.

Tuesday – very cold and snowy
imageWow 11″ of snow last night. What an awesome powder day it will be. I’m jealous.

Take Jasper down to Del Tacos, they have a children’s play area, but it’s a tad too old for him. A tad disappointing.

Never mind we go into Smiths, Jasper and I get to zoom round on a cripple mobile.

The Schmitts come round for dinner. Lemon meringue pie provided by Carol, first time in years, it was lovely. Excellent cheeses, Rillets and pate, just like being in France.

Angela and Jasper play really well together. Not a peep out of them. Good to see Angela’s already off the crutches.


Amazing it takes the Obama administration so long to recognise what the rest of the World knows.

Dressing up time.

Dressing up time.

Secretary of State John Kerry declared Thursday that the Islamic State is committing genocide against Christians and other minorities in the Middle East, after facing heavy pressure from lawmakers and rights groups to make the rare designation.
“In my judgment, Daesh is responsible for genocide against groups in territory under its control, including Yazidis, Christians and Shia Muslims,” Kerry said at the State Department, referring to the terror group by an adapted acronym of its Arabic name.  
He accused ISIS of “crimes against humanity” and “ethnic cleansing.”

Note though that he uses the politically correct word daesh, rather than IS to emphasise Islamic. No doubt they still feel that none of this is anything to do with Islam. Go read the Quran and all it verses of hate towards Infidels.

Religion – Beyond Belief


Wednesday – cool and sunny
Another 5″ snow over night – thanks be to Chione.

Visit to the sawbones today for follow up and X-rays.

The inevitable hospital form asked, what do you hope to achieve today, my response:

“Get me skiing next week.” Forever the optimist.

More X-rays than hecklers at a Trump extravaganza. I think my gonads have been fried so no chance of siring anymore children.

The outcome:

Prognosis – I think the look of incredulity when I asked about skiing next week, said it all. Good news is I should be back to normal (whatever normal is for me) in about 4 weeks.

I can start bearing full weight on it.

I can drive.

The break didn’t go all the way across. The mecanno stopped it.

If I hadn’t had the mecanno in then it would most probably have been a total break and required surgery.

My dodgy leg is no more susceptible to breaks or damage than my left. In fact with the mecanno it probably makes it stronger. Good news for future skiing.

Best of all I should definitely be ok for skiing next year.

Jasper goes to the library for music and dancing. Click on image and then on blank screen to see video.

Jasper goes to the library for music and dancing. Click on image and then on blank screen to see video.

Fiona takes bug a lugs to music and dance for tots at the library.

Leisurely nerdy afternoon battling with Squarespace web site and eliminating padding – a nightmare.

Fiona helps me celebrate the good news as we down a formidable quantity of Zinfandel.

The EU wasted up to two thirds of the funds allocated to migrant projects between 2007 and 2013, an internal audit has revealed.

The report by EU auditors, which the European Commission tried to suppress, warned that the EU’s migration funding was “struggling to demonstrate effectiveness” because its projects were badly designed and managed.
Auditors identified €1.4 billion of EU overseas aid spent on migrant projects in countries such as Algeria, Georgia, Moldova, Morocco and Ukraine with “weaknesses” that “compromised the effectiveness of spending”.

Religion – Beyond Belief

The worlds most persecuted minority:

Thursday – cold and sunny
DSC_7807Fiona’s off skiing with Helen. We’re playing grandparents for the day.

3D Printer and iMac

3D Printer and iMac

Take Jasper to the library for story time. This library is amazing it has computers and Internet galore. Best of all it has a dedicated discovery lab with about 8 state of the art 27″ iMacs, 3D printers and 3D scanner. You can use the 3D software to make things. I’m engrossed and get bollocked by Wendy for not staying in Story Time.

The rest of the library is pretty amazing with cafe, comfy chairs, kids play area complete with computer games and pets corner, oh and they also have lots of awesome books, especially for kids, and DVDs.

Jasper’s loves it. I think we’ll have to take him there a lot!

imageMeet Fiona for lunch and have a chat with Ava, our favorite barista.

After lunch take Jasper skiing. Wow he’s doing really well and best of all he’s loving it. My star pupils doing really well as she manages to ski down with Jasper between her legs and ski backwards for him – see video. Jasper gets another treat for doing so well at skiing.

Jasper skiing agin. WE have to drag him off. To see video click on image and then on blank screen.

Jasper skiing agin. WE have to drag him off.
To see video click on image and then on blank screen.

Seems a tad un-godly being able to walk around with a broken femur. Thanks be to the meccano.

I’m on the wagon tonight.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Qur’an Gangbang episode 3: Face Down, Ass Up:

20160311 – Is That A Nissan Gas Guzzler? iPad Time With Jasper.

Friday – hot and sunny

iPad time with Papa.

iPad time with Papa.

Some real excitement for me as we swap the Hertzmobile. What a fiasco. Topping up with petrol is a nightmare as guage is inaccurate.

Kurt's arrived home.

Kurt’s arrived home.

Get there and first car stinks of fags – rejected. 2nd is a Nissan with cracked bumper from collision – rejected. After a wait whilst they clean a big Dodge SUV they present us with this 7 seater SUV, a family of 10 could comfortably live in it. Wander around to inspect it and it seems that Dodge are so ashamed of their brand they have now started putting Nissan badges on the front of their cars. “Oh I’m sorry I’ve cleaned the wrong car” says the divvy from Hertz. By now we’ve lost the will to live and I even accept a Nissan.

Hal comes round in the afternoon and we have a productive meeting reviewing his web sites. Thankfully I’ve got this nerdy project to keep me occupied.

My Sick Humour

George Carlin – Political Correctness is fascism pretending to be Manners………………

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell – We want the truth. In defence of Donald Trump:


I know I rant on about the singularity but Google’s robotic arms are teaching themselves to do things and it’s terrifying:

For full article click here

Saturday – hot and sunny

Angela's on crutches too.

Angela’s on crutches too.

Don’t you just love it when you’re in the shower, you close the body wash and it ejects a globule of soap straight into your eyeball, where it proceeds to burn my eyeball like an overdose of mustard gas.

A full day in for me working on Hal’s web site. Helps keep me sane.

Jasper plays with eggs and home made microwave.

Jasper plays with eggs and home made microwave.

Everyone else gets some exciting retail therapy with a trip to the supermarket. Thankfully I’m excluded now Fiona is here.

imageCarol and Angela pop round in the afternoon so Angela can show us her crutches. She’s sprained her ankle and is now copying me with crutches. Could have a crutch race but she’d beat me hands down.

In the evening Fiona helps me save a bottle of Merlot from premature oxidisation.

How nice it is to spend a family evening in. No TV. No eyes down glued to an iPhone. No iPads. Just sit, talk and be entertained by Jaspers antics.

My Sick Humour

A progressive guide to political correctness

Religion – Beyond Belief

Muslim Mastermind:

I don’t believe it.
Now I know they’re off their rocker. If brains were dynamite they wouldn’t have enough to blow their nose. It really is time to get out:

The EU and Turkey say they have agreed the broad principles of a plan to ease the migration crisis.
Under the plan discussed in Brussels, all migrants arriving in Greece from Turkey would be returned.
For each Syrian sent back, a Syrian already in Turkey would be resettled in the EU. Turkey would also get extra funding and progress on EU integration.

And to pile on the stupidity they’re paying Turkey billions of Euros. Pots for rags.

Sunday – Cool and cloudy

Jasper helps out. Papa watches on.

Jasper helps out. Papa watches on.

A full day in for me. Thankfully I’ve got Hal’s website to work on and keep me occupied. Brings out the nerd in me.

Wendy, Fiona and Jasper catch the bus into Main Street. Good isn’t it I hire a car to sit in the car park. Jasper lives going on the bus. They examine every shop on Main Street and then have lunch. Jasper gets a giant ice cream.

imageThey walk back from town and then spend the first hour in comparing how many steps they’ve done, with Wendy thrusting her Fitbit under me nose in case I have the temerity to doubt the veracity of her step count.

Fiona’s excited we’re having pot roast, with Sunday vegetables for tea. The poor Americans daily fare.

A winter storms on the way in. Let’s hope it delivers the promised snow, we need it:


This may well be a joke but with the loons in the EU it could oh so easily be reality:

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”, Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”, making words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl vritin styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.


Herr Schmidt


Google driverless car crashes into a passenger bus.

“Abandon it” goes up the cry from the luddites and macho petrol heads who even think automatics are just glorified dogems suitable only for pussies.

I think it can’t come quick enough.  Ban car ownership and we can all bugle up a driverless car when we need it – bit like Uber – step inside and be driven wherever we want safely. When our journey is done the car serves someone else. Far fewer cars needed – no more legions of cars sitting in car parks or cluttering up the streets.

No more drunk, drug influenced or just routinely neglectful driving. No more learner drivers, driving tests, parking tickets or wardens, speeding, boy racing, aggressive manouevreing, road rage incidents, high speed police car chases, texting or phoning while driving, traffic lights, roundabouts, speed and traffic signs,speed bumps, general road clutter, Halfords, driving gloves. Far fewer accident and road deaths.  No more ridiculous 200mph capable cars on our roads either. Final death of the petrolhead culture.

Sense at last!  Bring it on. Just think how many lives will be saved to say nothing of fewer injuries.

20160307 – Jasper Learns To Ski

Monday – hot and sunny

Jasper learns to ski. Click image to view video.

Jasper learns to ski. Click image to view video, then click blank screen.

DSC_7771Wow 6″ fresh powder. I’m excited. Hang on, why am I getting excited, these crutches get in the way so no skiing today.

Chris departs early for a flight to San Francisco.

Breakfast in bed again – Macaroni pudding and summer fruits.

Legs feeling so much better. Less acute pain and no need for those brain fuddling pain killers.

Religion – Beyond Belief
Goodbye to the first amendment:

Childish and Hypocritical

imageDavid Cameron and George Osborne suffered a major defeat in their bid to extend Sunday trading laws tonight as a larger-than-expected Tory rebellion voted down the plans.Ministers had scrambled to table new amendments in the Commons ahead of the crucial vote, but they were defeated by a majority of 31.
An estimated 26 Tory rebels consigned the Government to defeat over the proposals to give local councils the power to allow large stores to open for longer than the current six-hour limit on Sundays.

The SNP’s decision to oppose the plans, despite the proposed new laws having no direct effect in Scotland where shops are already allowed to open longer on Sundays, guaranteed the Government lost the vote.
Business minister Sajid Javd said he ‘respects’ those opposed to Sunday trading in principle but blasted the SNP’s opposition as ‘childish and hypocritical’. The Government claimed the party had previously offered their support.

What in the name of a soggy haggis and fried mars bar are we doing letting these bare arsed, tight wad, porridge munchers in skirts decide our policies. Time for a JOCKOUT vote in England. Only our PC correct bubble headed politicians could allow such stupidity. Heads need to roll. Time for some entertainment for the masses, with a Saturday afternoon Flavian Amphitheatre lion feeding extravaganza me thinks.

Tuesday – hot and sunny

Butties on the plaza.

Butties on the plaza.

Relaxing morning. Kurt and Fiona go off skiing. George and Helen have two buddy passes for them. Fiona skis with Helen and Kurt goes off with George.

The geriatric cripples get to look after Jasper. Then we go up to the plaza and meet the kids for lunch. They’re all sat in the sun eating butties.

Jasper then dons his skis and has a great session. He’s started to get the hang of skiing down on his own. A massive step forward. Despite a few falls he’s keen for more – see videos. Making real good progress.

Jasper the downhill racer. Click on image and then on the blank screen to see the video.

Jasper the downhill racer. Click on image and then on the blank screen to see the video.

In the evening we’re off round to the Schmitts for an awesome traditional German dinner, and stunning cheese board.

Religion – Beyond Belief
Leak of IS Registration Forms Identifies 22,000 Jihadis:

Click image for Daily Mail  article.

Click image for Daily Mail article.

Publish them and be dammed. Then we’ll all know where the evil little barbarians are and can deal with them.

Wednesday – hot and sunny

Let's make a snowman.

Let’s make a snowman.

After researching femur surgery, as you do in the middle of the night, I’ve just released that my piece of meccano has actually been shoved down the Centre of my femur. When I study the X-rays they also confirm it. For the past year I’d always thought it was screwed to the side. Amazing that they can get it down the Centre. Wonder what they did with all the bone marrow it replaced, perhaps there’s a dog under the operating table having a great feast. No wonder it took 3 hours of surgery.

Wake up to it snowing and 4″ of awesome powder overnight.

The finished result.

The finished result.

Jasper goes out on golf course for a ski on the fresh snow, but it’s too slow for him. They all build a snowman, complete with carrot nose (just like them dam witches of Los Angeles), Oreo eyes and a Blackburn Rovers scarf. Kurts terrified someone will come and pinch the scarf – as if.

Religion – Beyond Belief
Bill Maher again on religion:

Being in the USA during an election year is certainly a challenge to your sanity. It goes on for so long I’m sure that once it’s time put your Monica on the ballot paper most electors are comatose or ready to slit their wrists.Just a flavour of what you can expect, with a bizarre tribute song to Trump performed by 3 Freedom kids:

The GOP debates are vicious. Worse than a load of 10 year old gutter snipes in a school yard scrap. Of course this year there’s the added entertainment value of Trump, but the thought that any of them could be President is more scary than ??

Now I’ve always been a fan a touch of outspoken eccentricity to liven things up but Trump even makes Corbyn look normal. Even Fox News has abandoned him and his own Republican Party just hate what they’ve spawned. Too late, it really looks like he’ll get the Republican nomination.

Here’s just a few of his outlandish statements:

1. “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud”
Trump was determined to “expose” President Obama’s birthplace back in 2012, and even claimed to have sent investigators to Hawaii in the hopes of proving Obama wasn’t born in the United States.
DSC_78072. “Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!”
Clearly Donald is a Team Edward kind of guy…
3. “Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”
Trump always has charming things to say about successful, prominent women – but he stooped particularly low with this comment about Huffington Post founder.
4. “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”
Trump proves (again) that he views a woman’s looks over anything else…
6.  “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
Oh for goodness sake.
7. “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”
Just another casually racial slur, then…
8. “Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.” 

Don’t worry, his racist outbursts aren’t just directed at Mexico.

Thursday – hot and sunny

Poor old snowman.

Poor old snowman.

2″ fresh snow overnight.

Kurt says goodbye as he sets off to fly home.

Poor old snowman looking a bit the worse for climate change.

We all have a lazy morning, make some butties and take Jasper up to the mountain for a ski and lunch. Just as we pull into the car park and find a great parking place, he nods off to sleep.

DSC_8035Change of plan. Have lunch and a dirty chai on the plaza in the glorious sunshine. Jasper finally wakes up so we take him for a little ski. Has a couple of runs with Wendy and Fiona but then he’s had enough.

Call at Starbucks for a small lot coffee and Jasper gets his ski treat of a Mr Whippy ice cream. Wendy cruises the supermarket isles whilst I savour my coffee and do my blog.

Boy it’s oh so warm, like a summers day. Well I can think of worse places to convalesce Blackburn being high on that list.

Starbucks for Papas  reward after skiing.

Starbucks for Papas reward after skiing.

Fiona takes Jasper to the park in his red car. He loves it – see pictures.

Rather than pondering the “shit happens” statement, I need to remember the American words of wisdom “Shit happens, suck it up”.

A wise sage (Kurt) reminded me, early this morning, that at least “bones heal”. So true, at least its not permanent. There are so many worse off.

Jasper continues to make awesome progress on potty training, despite having a bright pink potty. Only one accident all week and not just his pees but he’s also asking to do poo’s too. Well done kid.

Seems like a bargain. $609 with buddy passes worth $200 for a whole season skiing. Assuming you survive the season.

Seems like a bargain. $609 with buddy passes worth $200 for a whole season skiing. Assuming you survive the season.

Well I think we’ll be back next ski season. Gives me a clearly defined goal. Wendy’s idea is that I could just stay safe and stick to green runs. Hmm and I suppose I’ll have to avoid lifts and walk back up the mountain! I don’t think so. Perhaps it’s time for cross country skiing – too much like hard work.

“I don’t believe it”.

IMG_0181Seems like not only has Cameron gone to the EU with his begging bowl and asked for nothing, he’s then come back with even less than nothing. Can you believe it? But it also turns out that morsels offered him have no validity, in that the European Court of Justice can override what’s been offered. Not even worth ink used to print it.It’s a bit like sending a little lad to get the free bus pass you’re entitled to, and he comes back with an expensive season pass for a ski resort you never go to – pots for rags as they say.

Just a few more trumps:

image9. “If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”
Trump has infamously hated on Rosie O’Donnell, making crude, sexist and misogynistic remarks about her on multiple occasions.

10. “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” 

Because of course, no woman can resist Trump’s charms. [Throws up on keyboard]

11. “One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”
Well at least he’s showing some self awareness.
12. “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
And not that fabulous barnet of yours?
13. “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”
Definitely not missing the point…
image14. “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Possibly (/definitely) one of the creepiest things we’ve ever heard…
15. “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” 

16. “I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”
We’re glad he’s so concerned about the obesity crisis.
17. “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”
Women aren’t possessions, Donald. They can’t belong to you.
18. “You’re disgusting.”
To put this into context, Donald Trump said this to the opposing lawyer during a court case when she asked for a medical break to pump breast milk for her three-month-old daughter.
19. “The point is, you can never be too greedy.”
Campaign slogan = sorted.

Jasper in red car.

Jasper in red car.

20. “Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!”
In his Twitter liveblogging of the Democratic debate, Trump seemed to think he was watching a talent show rather than looking for the next POTUS.

21. “My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”
We think Donald may be overestimating the power of Twitter. 

22. “My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”
Don’t worry, we won’t. 

23. “I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
What does that even mean?

24. “The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs…How are they gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
Because sweating = the inability to solve a political crisis. Gotcha. 

25. “Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio] referred to my hands: ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
Along with the petition to keep him out of the UK, can we also campaign for Trump to stop talking about his penis?

Religion – Beyond Belief
Well I used to be against banning the burka. But I do find it offensive and feel it’s a statement of defiance and discourages integration. Why it should be that you’re expected to remove your crash helmet and yet not your burka. Well we all know the answer to that, its the crazy progressive PC storm trooper brigade.Anyway I’ve had enough of Islam, ISIS and “it’s nothing to do with Islam” lefty PC apologists. So let’s ban the burka in public and start to regain our country:


Click image for Lancashire Evening Telegraph article.

20160303 – Recovery Begins. Again.

Thursday – hot and sunny

imageHaving shuffled upstairs on my arse I now have the painful prospect of getting back down. Pain is much worse than yesterday when I was reasonably mobile and even managed to get my skis back on.

imageTime for some of those stronger pain killers. No doubt they fuddle me brain like last time, and worse of all no alcohol, but if they reduce pain then I’ll live with it. Spoke with hospital and my surgeon from last year has examined X-rays and believes the meccano will do the job, just need to go for follow up X-ray in 2 weeks. Sounds like good news, no more surgery, but pain level is disconcerting.

Just so frustrating after great skiing progress these past 4 weeks. Worse of all I will not get to ski with Jasper (the next generation) or my star pupil (Fiona) and not forgetting Kurt – the speed King. I was so looking forward to that.

imageAmazing all the offers of help from neighbors we hardly know.

I think perhaps we could form the Park City Mountain Sports Cripples group, to my knowledge there’s at least 3 of us out of action. We could meet every Thursday and have wheelchair and crutch races. Develope a handicap scoring system and take it in turns to be group leader.

Spend the day in bed resting my spiral fracture.

More EU jokes:

My wife misunderstood my son when he asked for some Play-Doh for Christmas. She got him a load of euros.

Q: How do you know it’s going to be a double-dip recession?
A: Greek exports of taramosalata and tzatziki have plunged.

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece.
The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard replied: ‘You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.’

The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek mayor’s house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs, it was marvellous.

When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Greek mayor said: ‘You see that bridge over there?’

The Spaniard replied: ‘No.’.

In heaven: the cooks are French,
the policemen are English,
the mechanics are German,
the lovers are Italian,
and the bankers are Swiss.

In hell: the cooks are English,
the policemen are German,
 the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss
and the bankers are Italian.

Breaking news: The eurozone financial crisis will soon be over as Greece has received an unconditional €100bn bailout offer.

All they have to do is email their account details to the anonymous daughter of wealthy, but deceased African general…

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell’s banned video on Arabic 6th century Sharia courts:

Friday – hot and sunny

Jasper skiing in the back garden.

Jasper skiing in the back garden.

Time to gird me loin and get up. It’s all about avoiding weight on my leg and certain painful position and movements. These Narco tablets do help but one wrong move is excruciating.
Shuffle down the stairs on my arse.

His first little schuss unaided.

His first little schuss unaided.

Jasper dons his skis and goes for a slides around in the garden. He needs to learn to walk in them and slide down a little slope without falling. Important to get that sense of balance weight not too far forward or worse still too far back and they shoot from under you. He does very well and seems to get the hang of it. I hobble outside on my crutches to take some photos.

imageHis potty training is going great, no accidents for days and soon there’ll be no more room on his bright pink potty for stars or stickers.

Wendy picks Angela up from school at lunch time and her and Jasper play well together until Carol picks her up in the evening. Jasper keeps going up to Angela and asking for a cuddle, very cute.

Chris arrives from San Diego. Come to see Kurt and get in some skiing.

Try a couple of glasses of wine with the Narco tablets and I seem to have survived. Mind you I can rely on Fiona to help drain a few bottles.


Now a philosophy rant.
The witches of Los Angeles. Best avoided on a chair lift. They have the manners and consideration of a desiccated wart hog. After striking their prey they stand there like a cheese at fourpence watching their prey struggle. Who said witch craft was dead?

The witches of Los Angeles. Best avoided on a chair lift. They have the manners and consideration of a desiccated wart hog. After striking their prey they stand there like a cheese at fourpence watching their prey struggle. Who said witch craft was dead?

WHY, WHY, WHY? I still can’t believe it:

The view from a blood wagon when towed 3 miles down the mountain on a sled. A tad bumpy, with snow in the face.

The view from a blood wagon when being towed 3 miles down the mountain on a sled. A tad bumpy, with snow in the face.

Why the same bone?

Why in that place at that time?

Why didn’t I listen to Wendy and not go for a ski lesson?

Why did I have to go for that “just one more run” down Assesment, just because the snow was awesome?

Why didn’t I catch another chair?

At least a different bone would have been a minor consolation, although probably worse. What I’m really gutted about is not being able to take Jasper skiing and to ski with my star pupil Fiona. I know it may sound perverse, but at least if I’d done it skiing, it would have been my own stupid lack of skill, then I think I’d feel better.

Enough of the gloom and doom. Lets look on the positive side.

A shortcut when there is an emergency.

A shortcut when there is an emergency.

If I hadn’t had my meccano in me leg then it would probably have been much worse.

I’ve got my family around me while I recover.

Jasper keeps me on my virtual toes and helps me retain my sanity.

Park City’s an awesome place to recover.

We’ve plenty of great friends around us.

I’m well experienced with crutches and have a 5 star cripple mobility rating.

I had 4 awesome weeks skiing – more than most people get in a year.

And finally there are billions of people in a worse position.

So shape up, stop feeling sorry for myself and be thankful.

Wrong place, at the wrong time and shit happens.

Really big question. Will I ski again next year? Is this a sign? Don’t be ridiculous. Need some PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).

Saturday – hot and sunny

Jasper off to the park in his car.

Jasper off to the park in his car.

Breakfast in bed. Shuffle down the stairs on my arse. Perhaps I could get one of those trays and do the luge down the stairs.

IMG_7140Kurt and Chris are off skiing – not that I’m in the least bit envious!

Another relaxing day working on my website and trying to regain my sanity.

Wendy, Fiona and Jasper go shopping. Now there’s a surprise. Then in the afternoon they go round to the park, Jasper drives his little red car round.

I want a go too.

I want a go too.

At night Chris and Kurt go out on the town, down the bars on Main Street.

My Sick Humour


Sunday – rain in the town, hopefully snow on the mountain

Macaroni pudding courtesy of Fiona.

Macaroni pudding courtesy of Fiona.

Breakfast in bed watching the rain erode away all the snow on the golf course. Sad.

Hal and Angela pop round to see the cripple.

Kurt, Fiona and Chris catch the free bus down to Kimble junction whilst we baby sit Jasper. Just pure energy and go, no chance of him having an afternoon nap.

Well Chris likes it.

Well Chris likes it.

The kids have a Five guys, now there’s a surprise.

Being Sunday there’s vegetables on the table for tea along with beef bourgeoune. Fiona makes me Macaroni pudding for tea. She’s a good en. Well at least Chris seems to like it. Mind you the fewer that like it the more left over for me. This one should keep me going for two days. Sheer luxury.

Fiona helps out with the wine. Don't want It oxidizing.

Fiona helps out with the wine. Don’t want It oxidizing.

Well it seems that there’s at least one advantage to breaking your femur, it increase my blog hit to over 45 in a day. Nearly a record.

Jasper’s goosed by evening and willingly saunters off to bed. We all watch a Netflix film in the evening.


European paradise joke :

You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by an Englishman. Food is prepared by a Frenchman and an Italian puts you in the mood and everything is organised by a German.
European hell:
You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by a Frenchman. Food is prepared by an Englishman, German puts you in the mood but, don’t worry, everything is organised by an Italian.


That joke was proposed by a Belgian as the Official European Joke, the joke that every single European pupil should learn at school. The Joke will improve the relationship between the nations as well as promote our self humour and our culture.
imageThe European Council met in order to make a decision. Should the joke be the Official European Joke or not?
The British representative announced, with a very serious face and without moving his jaw, that the joke was absolutely hilarious.
The French one protested because France was depicted in a bad way in the joke. He explained that a joke cannot be funny if it is against France.
Poland also protested because they were not depicted in the joke.
Luxembourg asked who would hold the copyright on the joke. The Swedish representative didn’t say a word, but looked at everyone with a twisted smile.
Denmark asked where the explicit sexual reference was. If it is a joke, there should be one, shouldn’t there?
Deck chairsHolland didn’t get the joke, while Portugal didn’t understand what a « joke » was. Was it a new concept?
Spain explained that the joke is funny only if you know that the lunch was at 13h, which is normally breakfast time. Greece complained that they were not aware of that lunch, that they missed an occasion to have some free food, that they were always forgotten. Romania then asked what a « lunch » was.
Lithuania et Latvia complained that their translations were inverted, which is unacceptable even if it happens all the time. Slovenia told them that its own translation was completely forgotten and that they do not make a fuss. Slovakia announced that, unless the joke was about a little duck and a plumber, there was a mistake in their translation. The British representative said that the duck and plumber story seemed very funny too.
Hungary had not finished reading the 120 pages of its own translation yet.
Then, the Belgian representative asked if the Belgian who proposed the joke was a Dutch speaking or a French speaking Belgian. Because, in one case, he would of course support a compatriot but, in the other case, he would have to refuse it, regardless of the quality of the joke.
To close the meeting, the German representative announced that it was nice to have the debate here in Brussels but that, now, they all had to make the train to Strasbourg in order to take a decision. He asked that someone to wake up the Italian, so as not to miss the train, so they can come back to Brussels and announce the decision to the press before the end of the day.
« What decision? » asked the Irish representative.
And they all agreed it was time for some coffee.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Islam let’s pray 50 times a day:

20160229 – Oh No Not Again! Deja Vue?

Monday – cold and cloudy
Kids are up before crack o sparrows. Jasper full of beans.

Early morning commute.

Early morning commute.

I set off for a spring skiing day. What a cock up decision wearing my spring skiing gear, it was colder than a witches titty in a brass bra doing push ups in the snow. Snow’s in great condition with the cold. flat light makes skiing interesting. Get 8 runs in and a coffee before quitting, I’m freezing to death.

Quiet afternoon as the rest of them are out shopping. Oh how sorry I am to miss it.

Fiona manages to demolish a bottle of Zinfandel with some help from me. Well it’d be a sin to have someone drink on their own.

Tuesday – hot and sunny

Jasper makes his debut this season.

Jasper makes his debut this season.

Up and out early for the kids first day skiing. Luxury drive up, complete with all Jaspers ski gear.

Have a few runs. Kurt goes off for a more challenging run. I ski with Fiona, and no she’s not forgotten how to ski. Move onto the blue runs and she’s doing fine, a star pupil. Bump into George and Helen so Kurt goes off with George while Helen joins Fiona and I. Have a good mornings skiing. Fiona’s doing great and really bombing down all them blues.

Family ski day.

Family ski day.

Wendy brings Jasper up on the bus, in the hope he’ll have a little sleep, no chance. All meet up for lunch. Kurts had a crash. Going fast, hit some moguls and went arse over tip a few times – sounds familiar. Fortunately he’s survived although his knees hurting and he’s got some whiplash.

Jasper gets geared up and makes his debut on the nursery slope. Gets a few runs in before chocolate and ice cream rewards to ensure he’s motivated. He loves it. Skis between his dad’s legs which is murder on your back.

2 year old downhill racer. The next generation.

2 year old downhill racer. The next generation.

Kurt calls it a day and goes home with Wendy and Jasper, while Fiona’s ready for more so we go back up and get a few more runs in.

Home for coffee then nip down to Walmart to buy Jasper a potty. Only choice is big pink one, but he seems to like it, and soon christens it to great applause.

Early night all round everyone’s knackerred apart from Wendy.

Wednesday – cold and sunny

Well it was Super Tuesday – 11 states vote for their candidate – and the bafoon now seems to be certain of the Republican nomination. We certainly live in interesting times in England we have that red commy Corbyn and here they have Trump. Ok America, a joke’s a joke but it’s gone too far now and it’s getting scary. Please stop.

My star pupil.

My star pupil.

Up and out for 09:00 to attend a carving course with the ski club. Spend a great morning learning to carve, well trying to. Conditions are great blue bird day with 2″ fresh snow. Finish course at lunch time and can’t resist a quick run down Assesment before heading home.

Catch Silver Load back to summit and the disaster strikes yet again. Getting off the lift and women next to me somehow manages to stomp on my right ski. I’m spun round and end upside down under the chair, legs akimbo like a women in birthing stirrups. In agony from right femur, yes the dodgy one. Lift stops lift and takes my skis off. I manage to crawl out of the way. Meanwhile women and the other 4 witches of Los Anglas look on, never even have the courtesy to apologise.

Jasper on the magic carpet.

Jasper on the magic carpet.

Right leg does not feel good but manage to get my skis back on ready for a 3 mile run back down. No way I’m going to be able to ski so get ski patrol to take me down in a sled – oh no not again.

Check into clinic at bottom. Produce credit card. Get X rayed. Doctor is confused with the mess of new bone growth at top of my femur. Looks like I’ve got a partial spiral fracture of the femur. Oh joy. My piece of meccano seems to have stopped a complete break. Ironic if I hadn’t had the meccano in place from last year it might have been much worse.

Jasper makes his toy pizza.

Jasper makes his toy pizza.

Sent home with some crutches and pain killers; put no weight on it; make an appointment to see surgeon from last year. The doctor thinks the meccano will do the job and keep it secure while the bone heals.

Bugger, bugger, bugger. It’s bad enough, but at least if I’d been skiing and it was down to my lack of skill, it would somehow be better. To have it happen through no fault of your own is infuriating. Dam the 5 witches of Los Angeles.

After 50 weeks of hard slog I’m back to square one. On crutches. No pain when static, just when I move.

Having made his pizza he disappears into the kitchen to put it into microwave. Smart cookie.

Having made his pizza he disappears into the kitchen to put it into microwave. Smart cookie.

These last 4 weeks had done wonders for my leg. It really was feeling on top form and skiing was picking up back to normal – it’s all a mind game.

Oh well shit happens.

Helen and George come round for dinner. Already the jungle drums have been sounding and most of our ski club friends know about it.

Spicy nachos – courtesy of Hal’s recipe – for starters.