20170404 – Blind Boys Of Alabama

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

Well I had a pain free night. I’m ok if sitting or lying down, it’s just movement that can hurt. Having to sleep on my back all night though is not my idea of slumber bliss. And those dam Percocet give me nightmares, I’m waking up every 30 minutes with the same stupid recurring night mare, on top of that they certainly fuddle your brain. As for pain killing well they’re not that impressive. Decide to give them up in favour of wine. Who knows I can probably sell them as they have a good street value.

Why would anyone want to be in such a befuddled state?

Wendy cancels going to the hospital in case I fall, break something else, need help or in my befuddled sate suddenly have an irrepressible urge to cook a meal or use the dishwasher.

Got to come next year now as I’ve paid for my season pass.

Beatrix enjoys her new blanket. Lexi tries to sneak on t.

We have a few “discussions” – well really just a monologue from Wendy – about not skiing next year. Too late, I’ve bought next years ski pass.

Lazy day, interspersed with phone calls to insurance company, airlines and doctor.

It take 95 minutes and 11 different department to finally get through to the Amex Emergency Support line to register my incident. When I tried yesterday they even told me they were closed. Unbelievable. What if you’re lying on a gurney, bleeding to death and you need them to authorise payment before the hospital will apply a tourniquet. You’d have no chance. I get through to one department, asked her what her name was and she instantly transferred me to another department. Perhaps they knew her name but it’s dire when the staff are that thick they don’t even know their own name – perhaps they’re all on these Percocet tablets.

Half of them don’t listen, their English is appalling and are just too keen to pass you onto someone else.

After that episode I think a whole bottle of Zinfandel is called for to calm me down and get me back on my surfboard of life.

This especially applies to Jasper.

Barbara pops round to see how we are and offer any help. In true American tradition she’s bringing round a pot roast for us. It’s a standard American response when someones injured, or rambling on about Amex call centres in the aftermath of Percocet.

Got a nice call from Jasper who’s worried that I’ve hurt my leg. He says I’m a “silly Billy” and wants to come back to our American house.

In the evening Helen and George come round for dinner. We finally gave up on the blind dog after exhausting their supply of ink and diaries with so many changes.

What a great evening we had. Italian takeaway and lots of wine, fun and laughter trying to put the World to rights – some of the best medicine, although the state of the world and our crackpot politicians is enough to make you lose the will to live. They really are amazing company, such good friends and have been oh so helpful.

Jere and Diane pop in to see how we are and say good bye. I think everyones wanting to check it out for themselves, they really can’t believe it – they’re not the only ones – and probably suspect it’s a delayed April fools joke.
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EU Jokes – Plenty of fertile material to go at

The eurozone leaders are looking for a stimulus package. Silvio Berlusconi suggests two Viagra and a Red Bull.

My wife misunderstood my son when he asked for some Play-Doh for Christmas. She got him a load of euros.

Q: How do you know it’s going to be a double-dip recession?
A: Greek exports of taramosalata and tzatziki have plunged.

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece.
The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard replied: ‘You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.’

The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek mayor’s house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs, it was marvellous.

When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Greek mayor said: ‘You see that bridge over there?’

The Spaniard replied: ‘No.’

Breaking news: The eurozone financial crisis will soon be over as Greece has received an unconditional €100bn bailout offer.
All they have to do is email their account details to the anonymous daughter of wealthy, but deceased African general…

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The extent to which the threat of radical Islam is finally hitting home to even those in the European establishment is demonstrated by the call for a Europe-wide burka ban from the EU’s largest political grouping.

This is now official policy for the European People’s Party, the biggest group in the European Parliament with 216 MEPs in its ranks, who adopted the measure for a full EU-wide burka ban at its annual congress.

Angela Merkel’s party is in the group as is Jean-Claude Juncker, along with a bunch of other establishment parties across the whole of the continent

Manfred Weber is in Merkel’s German CDU/CSU alliance and is also the EPP’s Leader in the European Parliament. He has said explicitly: “We want a total ban of face covering in the EU.”

The motion also calls for “the avoidance of concentrating thousands of third-country nationals in any one location” and “mandatory integration requirements”.

What used to be dismissed as far-right, xenophobic and extreme is now mainstream. Increasingly even those in the political mainstream can see that Europe must start asserting its culture and identity if it is to effectively combat radical Islam. With attacks in Paris, Brussels, London, Stockholm, Berlin and elsewhere, we need words to be followed with swift action now.

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

Another pain free but sleepless night.

Perhaps this should be my standard ski gear for next year.

Thankfully I’ve now reconciled myself to it. Stopped running endless “if only….” scenarios. Now I’ve got to get on with it, get better quickly ready for our return in summer. And yes I will be back next ski season. Never give up.

Wendy’s decided to trust me, so she’s gone off to the Christian centre for the morning. Meanwhile I’m resisting the urge to venture into the kitchen, watch TV or start drinking wine.

Carol pops round to see the invalid and haVE a chat. In typical American fashion she brings round cookies for us. Then Sharee, past president of the PCMS club, pops round for a chat and with a chilli for our dinner. It’s such an American thing, they’re oh so friendly and helpful anyway, but when someones ill or injured they all rally round. Especially in the PCMS club.

Hmm….

I’ve only been taking these percocet tablets on and off, keeping them to an absolute minimum as they can addle your brain – hopefully only short term. But I’m trying a new regime and taking them consistently, as directed, and it seems that they are so much better at pain relief that way. They have me galloping around the house on my crutches. Who knows cartwheels next week.

Watching TV whilst on percocet is a real challenge. Normally we nod off through most programmes but these drugs have the added advantage of appearing awake but my brains stopped. Yes, it seems that they can stop your brain, put you into a NOOP loop and stop your thinking. Still at least after many repeats we’re both onto the final episode of the “Young Pope”. It’s that weird and quirky that I’m not sure whether its the drugs or the actual crazy programme.

Decide it’s time to venture upstairs to bed, rather than the settee. Manage it ok by shuffling up and back down on my arse. Has all the elegance of a Walrus trying to climb stairs but its effective. Now I know how Daleks must have felt when they encountered stairs in their way of World domination.
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Greatest George Carlin Quotes

You can’t argue with a good blowjob.

Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying.

So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.

When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn’t a lot worth paying attention to.

The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.

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Hell, I should have voted REMAIN:

Barista shortage threatens to make coffee shops grind to a halt.

Demand for our daily flat white or cappuccino fix may show no sign of running out of steam, but a looming shortage of baristas is threatening to scupper the coffee shop revolution.

Research shows that Britain’s coffee shop operators will need to hire another 40,000 baristas to cater for their expansion programmes over the next six years.
There are about 150,000 baristas working in the UK, many from overseas, and experts are warning that any curbs on immigration from European Union countries after Brexit could severely hamper the industry’s growth projections.

Thursday – hot and sunny.

Yeah, not a bad nights sleep and the drug induced nightmares seem to have taken flight. At least I’ve not been attacked by the killer clown balloons. Breakfast in bed, how neat is that, and at last a shower.

Fortunately I know where they are, perhaps just need to keep a better eye out for ice boulders.

Wendy’s off down to Tangier Outlets to take part, with Helen, in yet another 100 yard trolley dash – soon to be an Olympic event, followed by lunch. Given Helens stunning ski performance of yesterday – 35,000 feet and black diamonds – I’m surprised she’s not cancelled and challenged George. Just goes to show how much better she can do when not skiing with Jonah. What a hero and role model. She’s had 4 sled rides down the mountain and three broken bones yet still skies – Wendy I hope you’re taking note. Next year she’ll be able to push my ski envelope and get me back on form.

Well the good news is Wendy seems to have given up on the, abandon skiing and take up tiddlywinks monologue. Locals ski pass booked and now I’m sharing a locker next year with George and Helen – so no lugging skis and boots up to the mountain each day.

Quiet day for me. Help fend off rickets with some sun and afternoon tea on the balcony.

Sticking with the recommended percocet dose, not skipping a dose, seems to work best and get the maximum pain relief.

In the evening Barbara and Steve, neighbours, come round for a drink. I could quaff down a good Zinfandel but manage to resist and just have one glass, well perhaps it was nearly two.

Friday – cool, cloudy and windy.

Breakfast in bed again. Save a trip back upstairs for a shower.

Uber to the hospital for follow up with Dr Pidwell. What a great service Uber is. You can see exactly what’s going on; timings tend to be accurate; everything charges straight to my credit card; no need for cash and best of all no need for tipping.

Uber back home and drop Wendy off at the Christian centre. I get a quiet afternoon in. What is it with percocet? It helps with the pain but you end up constipated. Feel as bunged up as a Hummingbird trying to lay an Ostrich egg. Pity I’m not allowed to ski, as standing at the top of “Ericas Gold”, merely looking down, is a guaranteed all natural cure for constipation. I’m pretty sure I must be emotionally constipated as well – I haven’t given a crap all week.

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EU Jokes – Plenty of fertile material to go at

European paradise:
You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by an Englishman. Food is prepared by a Frenchman and an Italian puts you in the mood and everything is organised by a German.
European hell:
You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by a Frenchman. Food is prepared by an Englishman, German puts you in the mood but, don’t worry, everything is organised by an Italian.

That joke was proposed by a Belgian as the Official European Joke, the joke that every single European pupil should learn at school. The Joke will improve the relationship between the nations as well as promote our self humour and our culture.
The European Council met in order to make a decision. Should the joke be the Official European Joke or not?
The British representative announced, with a very serious face and without moving his jaw, that the joke was absolutely hilarious.
The French one protested because France was depicted in a bad way in the joke. He explained that a joke cannot be funny if it is against France.
Poland also protested because they were not depicted in the joke.
Luxembourg asked who would hold the copyright on the joke. The Swedish representative didn’t say a word, but looked at everyone with a twisted smile.
Denmark asked where the explicit sexual reference was. If it is a joke, there should be one, shouldn’t there?
Holland didn’t get the joke, while Portugal didn’t understand what a « joke » was. Was it a new concept?
Spain explained that the joke is funny only if you know that the lunch was at 13h, which is normally breakfast time. Greece complained that they were not aware of that lunch, that they missed an occasion to have some free food, that they were always forgotten. Romania then asked what a « lunch » was.
Lithuania et Latvia complained that their translations were inverted, which is unacceptable even if it happens all the time. Slovenia told them that its own translation was completely forgotten and that they do not make a fuss. Slovakia announced that, unless the joke was about a little duck and a plumber, there was a mistake in their translation. The British representative said that the duck and plumber story seemed very funny too.
Hungary had not finished reading the 120 pages of its own translation yet.
Then, the Belgian representative asked if the Belgian who proposed the joke was a Dutch speaking or a French speaking Belgian. Because, in one case, he would of course support a compatriot but, in the other case, he would have to refuse it, regardless of the quality of the joke.
To close the meeting, the German representative announced that it was nice to have the debate here in Brussels but that, now, they all had to make the train to Strasbourg in order to take a decision. He asked that someone to wake up the Italian, so as not to miss the train, so they can come back to Brussels and announce the decision to the press before the end of the day.
« What decision? » asked the Irish representative.
And they all agreed it was time for some coffee.

Saturday – cold, sleet and snow.

The Blind Boys of Alabama at the Egyptian theatre.

A lazy morning.

At the Egyptian theatre with family Schmitt.

Hal, Carol and Angela come round for dinner and then Hals got us tickets to the “Blind Boys of Alabama” on at the Egyptian theatre. Not really our thing, but like all things you should try them once. It was a great evening, we really enjoyed it and it had them dancing in the aisles. Quite interesting to see the Americans letting their hair down, how boisterous they can be. Not quite as reserved as a UK audience.

Yet another awesome evening with great friends and new experiences. Thanks Hal for the tickets.
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Muhammad and the Daughters of Allah:
A Summation of the Evidence for the Satanic Verses

This piece of nonsense that Muslims want covered up relates to the issue of Muhammad reciting verses which he later retracted and claimed were from Satan, hence the name the “Satanic Verses.” According to certain Muslim sources these verses, which were originally part of Sura 53:19-23, centered specifically on the three goddesses worshiped by the pagans of Arabia called Allat, al-Uzza and Manat. Initially Muhammad praised and confirmed the existence of three goddesses worshipped by pagans by confirming their ability to intercede before Allah. This caused the pagans to bow in worship and also praise Muhammad for speaking highly of their idols. Later Muhammad, the messenger of a Allah, claimed that his statements were not from God but from Satan who caused him to slip! So how come a supreme being could not stop any cross channel interference?

Then of course Salmond Rushdie wrote a novel based on this and for his trouble the religion of pieces and permanent offence got offended and issued death threats. Now there’s a surprise.

Sunday – cold and snow.

POWDER ALERT, POWDER ALERT. 8″ of Utah’s finest. Crack of sparrows start to catch first tracks. Hang on there, sawbones says no. These crutches make crap ski poles. Bugger. No doubt this will be the last POWDER day of the season. It closes next weekend.

Lazy day instead. Wendy makes a short trip out on the bus to do some shopping.

Then we pack ski boots and gear ready for our departure on Thursday. It’s great here because we’ve got lockout cupboards where we can leave our gear locked up ready for our return in June. Bedroom lockout has all our jumpers, anoraks and ski pants etc hung up, boots, helmets and other gears in duffel bags; kitchen lockout has food, wine and brandy; garage has two lockouts with skis in; mountain bike is left in garage. A real home from home.

Then, after 17:00 of course, we catch up on loads of TV. Really spoilt for choice as we have access to all UK TV, HBO NOW, Netflix, Sky UK and now PBS. Keeping track of them all is a full time job.