Monthly Archives: October 2017

20171009 – Ascot; Hampton Court And Good Old Henry VIII; Work A Four Letter Word

Monday – warm and sunny.

Wendy at Hampton Court.

Lazy morning getting ready for our trip to London.

It’s a 4 hour drive. No idea how they can cram 7 roadworks into the journey. Can you believe one of them was for 18 miles. Then to top it all as soon as we’d finished 18 miles of the spot the worker game, we come to a standstill due to stupid rubberneckers.

Hampton Court.

Arrived at Brett’s around 16:00. He’s got a nice (hate that word) roomy two bedroom flat in Sunninghill. He pops round to see us but he’s staying with Karien so we’ve got the run of his home for the next 4 days.

Pleasant evening in catching up on TV and of course a little wine.
religion header

 
20 Questions For Burka Wearers

Tuesday – warm and cloudy.

Now that’s what I call a fountain. In it’s day it was a wine fountain for people to go help themselves.

Leisurely start to the day then we drive down to Hampton court for some history and selfi stick dodging. A tad expensive. I blame all those culture vulture Americans who just revel in it. Have a very interesting amble around the Henry VIII exhibits. Not so interested in the later periods. Have to limit my daily history intake.

Two interesting facts:

  • Field of gold meeting with good old Henry consumed 40,000 gallons of wine – not him personally despite his voracious appetites. This means each one there swigged an average of 4 pints of wine per day. Then I worry about my drinking.
  • Pies were the mainstay of English cooking. The pie case was actually there to act as the cooking pot. The gluttons would cut off the top of the pie and shovel the contents down. The top, sides and base of the pie would then be discarded. Fast food 15th century style.
  •  

    What a dining room.

    In the evening Brett and karein come round and we head off out to an Italian meal.

    joke header

     

    religion header

     
    It’s Good To Be Anti-Islam

    Wednesday – warm, rain and grey.

    What a wine celler.

    Up early for a work opportunity. Strange having to don a suit,
    tie and white shirt of course – scruffy salesmen take note. Then it’s train into Farringdon. Nearly two hours commuting. How can anyone other than a lobotomised lab rat cope with this every day or even a few days a week.

    Wendy does Windsor.

    Good to see Clive again and have a tapas lunch with him. Looks like I’ve got a consultancy opportunity with him again and there could be more in the offering. So it’s Glasgow most of next week. Although at least it won’t involve too many suit and tie days.
    joke header

     

    rant header

     

    How I end up feeling every day I use a web site.

    With the exception of NatWest and Chase banks can anyone find me a website or application that works. I can guarantee to find a problem with every web site I’ve used apart from these two. What ever happened to testing? Why bother when you can leave the testing to your users (that word just aboout sums up how the IT industry thinks of their customers) and then just ignore them if they point out a problem. NO ONE GIVES A DAM.

    As for common sense, forget it.

    Thursday – warm and sunny.

    Leisurely start to the day and then it’s the long slog back up the M6.

    Hampton Court


    Day starts off sunny but of course by the time we get back to the hell hole it’s raining.

    rant header

     
    When will the bloody high priests of technology in the IT industry come up with a sensible solution for passwords. These dam things are taking over our lives.

    religion header

     
    Islam is NOT a Religion of Peace

    20170930 – Trench Foot, Send Dry Socks; Packing Up, Heading Home; Bruges Without A Selfie Stick

    Saturday – warm, sun and cloud.

    A sunny day.

    Lazy morning. We all troop into town. Dot and Wendy go shopping, not that they need anything. While Barrie and I go on a pub crawl – well just two pubs really. Very pleasant sat out in the sunshine, admiring the facades of the town buildings, watching the French world go by and enjoying a Pasties.

    Then it’s back for a well deserved coffee.

    In the evening it’s a buffet round at Dot and Barrie’s. Barrie’s cousin Heather and John have arrived so they join us. Drink a little wine. Well to be truthful a lot of wine and enjoy Barrie’s new Double Oak Bourbon – my it’s smooth – especially when drank alongside a Jack Daniels, rough as a badgers arse by comparison.

    Stagger home in the pouring rain.

    religion header

     

    Who said it?

    Paraphrased as “Islam is as dangerous in a man as rabies in a dog”


    Sign in Bruges

    How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property – either as a child, a wife, or a concubine – must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men. Thousands become the brave and loyal soldiers of the faith: all know how to die but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome.

    Answer: Sir Winston Churchill.

    Recently someone was arrested for quoting this. So much for free speech.

    Sunday – warm and rain.

    Beer wall in Bruges.

    Morning was dry and warm but with rain forecast, yet again, for all afternoon so we went a walk into town. Deafened by them dam bells, it must be home to Quasimodo. Interesting how the church seems to have a spire missing. Turns out it was destroyed in June 1944 in the Battle of Bloody Hill.

    Pop into the local cafe for a coffee. What a den on inequity it is. It seems like they, the local snail and cheese munchers, go to church; pop into cafe for Bingo; free bread and pate; have a few bevies; and then probably go home and beat the wife to round off the day.

    In the afternoon and evening it rains as promised.

    Catch up on some ITV in the evening. First time we’ve watched anything on ITV for months.

    We really should have invested in some Wellie Bobs, to cope with all this rain and our quagmire of a pitch. Send some dry socks as we’ll be getting trench foot.

    Our caravan is at serious risk of putting in a solo appearance on eBay.

    The 79th Division liberated the La Haye du Puits on the 9th July 1944.

    Battle plan.

    Around La Haye du Puits there was fought a very bloody battle for Montgardon, referred to as Hill 84. The 79th Division fought for this area for five days at a cost of 1,500 GIs. When you add the causalities who fell in the battle for Hill 122 Montre Castre which is just to the east of the town, the number rises to 5,000 killed or injured. and was the most costly weekend in the European conflict. They then continued though Normandy and into the Loire Valley and then on to Germany.

    There is a fine monument in the town to all the liberators and civilians who lost their lives during the liberation.

    The town was badly damaged and was rebuilt in the standard concrete, but has recently been given an attractive paint job, making it look more Dutch than French. The parish church lost one of its spires during the fighting which has never been replaced.
    joke header

     
    The king of Belgium is fed up that the Dutch make jokes about how dumb Belgians are. He goes to King Willem, of the Netherlands, and demands that the Dutch should do something stupid, so that the Belgians can laugh at the Dutch. Willem wants to maintain good relations so he says; “meh, we will build a bridge in the Sahara”. The king of Belgium approves and so it happens; the Dutch build a bridge in the desert.

    They became the laughing stock of the world. The king of Belgium is pleased and says to king Willem:”Ha ha that was funny, you can remove the bridge.
    King Willem responds: “We can’t, there are Belgians on the bridge trying to fish.”

    “Why will the Dutch and Belgium go to war in 5 years?”
    “Because that’s how long it takes them to get our jokes.”

    Why will the Belgiums attack France first?
    Because they don’t know where the Neterlands is located.

    Monday – warm and sunny.

    Time to pack up and clean the caravan. A joyous sort of day but at least it doesn’t rain until the evening.

    Go out to Hotel Commerce for dinner with Dot and Barrie and cousins.

    Then overnight we get a parting deluge and a drum voluntary on the roof. Amazed this caravan hasn’t floated off like a 21st century aluminum arc.
    religion header

     
    Pat Condell Banned Video

    Tuesday – warm and sunny.

    Queen Wendy.

    Up at 07:00 with the typical whining from her indoors and to the usual sound of bells, summoning the faithful and waking the owl and pigeons. Oh the joy of packing up the caravan in a swamp thanks to last nights deluge. Cold wet feet. Memo to self, “buy a pair of welly bobs”. So much better than thongs and trench foot and frostbite in the little toe.

    Can’t believe it take 135 minutes to get up; leisurely breakfast; pack up car; winterise and close up caravan. Mind you we’d save half an hour if we didn’t bother trying to tease the water butt into an expensive green bag, designed specifically to keep it clean, warm and safe, and purchased by her indoors. Never mind with all the mud on the water butt it doesn’t really need any extra protection. Pots for rags. Another memo to self “loose green bag or use it as barbecue fuel next year”.

    Pretty good drive up. 350 miles and just a 6 minute delay and hardly any traffic. No chance of that in the U.K.

    Car park garage was tighter than a bull’s ass during fly season. Nearly had to get the roof down or go on a crash diet to get out the car.

    Hotel’s quite quaint. In the center of Bruges by the canal. Our rooms right by the canal so no doubt tomorrow morning we’ll have barge loads of German tourists peering in. Hotel provides a mosquito killer plug to deal with any mosquitoes that want your blood. Better not open the window as they’ll be in and dive bombing Wendy.

    Wot no shower! Well yes there’s shower caps and a shower in the bath, but not mounted on the wall and no shower curtain. This is going to be fun, by the end of me shower the bathroom floors awash with water and wetter than a Normandy caravan pitch in September. This is not going to help my trench foot. Where has the common sense gone.

    Out around Bruges for tea. Well not too far as Wendy “doesn’t want to spoil it for tomorrow”. At last some rabbit in a Flemish stew, not very appetizing that flem word, but it tasted good.

    Have another famous Belgium beer back at the hotel. Then it’s time for some Armagnac and watch Suits. Instead a lengthy FaceTime with Anna whiles the night away.
    joke header

     
    How the EU works: In Germany, they make the rules, in Britain, they obey the rules, in France, they bend the rules, in Spain, they break the fules and in Italy they have no rules at all.

    Bruge

    There was a cruise ship full of english, french, germans and italians, sinking in the middle of the med, the captain had radioed for help and been told that if the passengers jumped into the sea then they could be picked up. Now, being sort of busy trying to salvage what he could of the ship, he sent his young second in command off to give the passengers their instructions. 5 minutes later he came back looking disappointed. “What’s wrong?” the captain asked? “They all refuse to just jump into the sea like that, they won’t listen to me”, replied his second in command. So, looking frustrated, the the captain went off to do it himself. He too came back 5 minutes later, however he, unlike his second, returned a smug grin! “How did you do that?” demanded the second “Well…” started the captain”…I told the British it was traditional, I told the French it was fashionable, I told the Germans it was an order and I told the Italians it was forbidden!”

    A prize was to be awarded for the first person to discover a horse with black and white stripes like a zebra. A German, a Frenchman, an Englishman and a Spaniard participated hoping to win the prize of 1,000,000 euros. The German decided to spend weeks in the National library researching into horses with black and white stripes. The Englishman went straight to a shop in Piccadilly which specialises in hunting gear, bought all the equipment necessary and set off for Africa in his quest for this strange creature. The Frenchman bought himself a horse and painted it black and white . The Spaniard went to the best restaurant he knew in Madrid, ordered an expensive meal for himself with a fine bottle of wine; after the meal he ordered an expensive Havana cigar and a Napoleon brandy, sat in a luxurious arm-chair in the hotel and began to consider what he would do with the 1,000,000 euros once he had found this remarkable horse with black and whte stripes.

    religion header

     

    Why hasn’t Islam been designated a prescribed organisation?

    Under the Terrorism Act 2000, the Home Secretary may proscribe an organisation if she believes it is concerned in terrorism. For the purposes of the Act, this means that the organisation:
commits or participates in acts of terrorism;
 prepares for terrorism;
 promotes or encourages terrorism (including the unlawful glorification of terrorism); or
 is otherwise concerned in terrorism.

    On the basis of the evidence since 9/11 and the contents of the quran isn’t it time that islam was designated a proscribed organisation?

    Wednesday – sun and cloud.

    What a pokey room, noisy from other rooms. I think there was an elephant learning to tap dance in the room above. You could hear everything said in adjoining rooms so thank god no one was having nooky in the next room.

    Bruge famous photo opportunity.


    Breakfast was the best thing about the hotel.

    Then the tight arses in the hotel wouldn’t let us leave our car – retribution is mine says Tripadvisor – so we have to find the main car park. What a bloody nightmare that was. Major road works and to top it all the entrance to the car park is in the underpass. Have to say though once we’d found it was very impressed – green lights over empty bays and counts of available slots. What’s more plenty of room to manouvere, not your typical alloy wrecker.

    Pleasant stroll around Bruges. What a lovely city, spoilt only by the infestation of droves of selfie wielding tourists.

    Then it’s a short drive to the port. Armed with my sea sick pills I’m prepared for our crossing which is forecast at gale force 6 – joy. Pleasant evening meal and not a bad nights sleep. Crossing was smooth.
    joke header

     
    The Belgians are known to like chips VERY much…

    Bruge

    So, How can you make a Belgian go crazy?

    Lock him into a round tower and tell him there are
    chips in the corner.

    Last sunday, the entire submarine belgian fleet sunk. Why?
    They organized a doors open day.

    Two Belgians walk on the street and they see something they do not recognize. Here is the conversation:
    – Do you know what this is?
    – I have no idea.
    – Neither do I. How can we find out?
    – Maybe we can taste it and see if we recognize it.
    – OK.

    Bruge

    One Belgian takes a sample with his finger and tastes it. The other does the same. The first one says:
    – You know, I think it is dog poo.
    – I think you are right. Let us taste again to be sure.
    They taste again.
    – Yes you are right. This is dog poo.
    – Definitely. I am glad we found out.
    – Yes. Good to know. And it is a good thing we did not step in it.

    Thursday – warm and sunny.

    Welcome home to blue skies. Rain by the time we get to the hellhole.
    rant header

     

    Heading home.

    Don’t I just love the stupid waste we see at Hull. There’s about 6 border patrolmen and 5 police all hanging around having a chat about last nights sexual exploits no doubt. It would have been interesting to see the women in high heels chase someone.

    What a disgrace, wasted resource. Surely they either don’t need all that staff or they could walk up the car line and have a chat to passengers. That way they might notice anything unusual or dodgy. Bear in mind that the car had been searched, by Group4 of all people, when boarding at Zeebruge.

    religion header

     
    Tell The Truth About Islam

    Our next escape.