Monthly Archives: February 2017

20170222 – Appointment With Fear; Cirque Eloize

Wednesday – cool and snowy.

Appointment with fear today as I go to get my crown fitted at the dentist.

Dip out on a days skiing, but as it’s snowy and poor visibility it’s not too bad.

I think I truly deserve an award for bravery, having ventured, solo, into the supermarket and purchased some cereal.

Instead of skiing I have a walk to the Christian Centre to meet Wendy. Yet more toys for Jasper and food galore.

Then it’s a walk in the snowstorm to Starbucks and then onto the supermarkets, part of our daily top up to save on a weekly big shop. You have to do these things when you’re poor and have no car so you rely on the great bus service.

In the evening we have tickets to a Cirque Eloize performance at the Eccles Centre – local high school. Walk round in the snow storm, it’s only 10 minutes walk and there’s something quite satisfying about walking through a snow storm, all snug, warm and dry in your artic gear. Free tickets are curtesy of the Christian Centre yet just one of the many benefits of Wendy’s volunteering there. First time we’ve been to the theatre at the Eccles Centre, It’s quite impressive. The performance was amazing. Such awesome gymnastic feats, make us feel like a couple of cripples by comparison.

Well that keeps us awake for the evening.
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Peter Kay, Cardiff, Shouting Hecklers

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“Theresa May is preparing for the Scottish government to call a second independence referendum to coincide with the triggering of Article 50 next month.

Senior government sources say there is serious concern that Nicola Sturgeon will use the start of the Brexit process to demand another vote on the future of the UK and that Whitehall is planning for that event.”

Bring it on. Let them have yet another “once in a lifetime referendum”, but this time England should have a referendum on whether they stay or go. I’m sick to death of hearing that Sturgeon wench whine on about how badly the Jocks are done to. And if they think they’ll get EU membership then think again, as there economy wouldn’t meet membership criteria. It’s just constant verbal diarrhoea. We’ll be oh so better off without them. Can you imagine waking up with here squawking on your pillow. It’s what nightmares are made of.

Thursday – cold and snowing.

Only in America would 30+ MPG be described as fuel efficient.

Wow another 7″ of champagne powder, no dentist so today I get to ski. Snowing and cold all morning but the powder is great, so much hard work but awesome when you can’t see your ski tips. As the majority of snow came down overnight, its not been groomed down on any of the runs so it really makes you work hard. Just another day here in paradise.

Afternoon we take a walk in the snow. Call in at the Christian Boutique where Wendy’s seen a retro Patagonia fleece. Try it on and it fits. All of $18 and still in perfect fettle. Must be all 30 years old just like my other one. They’re a collectors item. There’s a same one on eBay going for at least $80, one like my original is selling for $120. We love love Patagonia gear. It’s such good quality, it lasts longer than an Arab blood feud and they even have a repair shop. All part of there philosophy.

Pig out on Madame Secretary in the evening. What a great series it is. It’s one of our few free evenings this busy week, need to pace ourselves better.
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Nothing to do with the us.

Those in the UK in the grip of this unbridled rage at Trumps travel ban aren’t even consistent or coherent. As punishment for his supposed offence of temporarily banning people from America, whilst they understand the problem, these liberal do-gooder stormtroopers want to ban him from Britain. Mr Trump wants to ban people because he fears they may murder American citizens. More than one million Britons, mainly loony liberal REMOANERS, with nothing new to moan about, want to ban Mr Trump just because they think he’s a horrible person. It’s nothing do with the UK. He said he would do this and was democratically elected. At least on the plus side while these loony bedwetters are focused on this, at least they’re not manning the barricades for another BREXIT referendum.

This is virtue signalling on steroids. The hypocrisy is nauseating. The flight from reason is terrifying.

Friday – very cold and snowing.

Bob and Marilyn pick me up and we ski together in the morning. Very cold and snowing, but the best skiing so far this season after yet more snow – 6″ last night. Ideal conditions of just 2″ of fresh powder on top of well groomed runs.

In the afternoon I look after Angela for Carol. Teach her how to play draughts / checkers. She picks it up pretty quickly.

Bob picks us up for dinner round at their home. Have a lovely evening and dinner with them.
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Greatest George Carlin Quotes

I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.

An icicle light sabre.

You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.

There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

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Yes, I remember when dustbin men – not waste disposal operators – used to provide a service.

Now they don’t give a dam. Do the absolute minimum, as quick as possible so they can get home early. If we’ve got to wheel the wheelie bin out its about time they adopted the American solution. One man in a lorry with a grab arm that picks the bin up and empties it in the cart. Save 3 to 4 wages per round and at least it would put the bin back where it was placed and probably have less rubbish blowing all over the place.

Saturday – very cold and snowing again.

Skier emerging from the powder – not me.

Busy morning’s skiing and oh so cold – it’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg.

Go and do a bit of a shop. Sushi for tonight; some quality beers – Pilsner Urquell – none of that girly American cats urine; even get a couple of cans of Boddingtons, who knows we might convert some American friends; treat myself to a bottle of Hennessy Black Label Brandy – well we are here for 20 weeks and I’m sure if I don’t drink it Wendy will manage to pollute it with some lemonade – it’s oh so smooth, so I’ll be hiding it

I think we’ve had a bit of snow!

from Wendy. Very tempted to have a snifter of brandy before, or even while, skiing. It’s claimed a few drinks relaxes you, so you ski better. Might help me with my mind game battle that still plagues me.

George and Helen come round for dinner. Have a great evening putting the World to rights, it’s all so simple why can’t these politicians get it right.
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Reading Comments from Peaceful Muslims

20170215 – Skiing And Snow, Snow, Snow

Wednesday – cool and sunny.

Jasper’s bed. I made it, Kurt painted it.

Another blue bird day.

A great days skiing over at the Canyons on the dreamscape side of the mountain. What an awesome run Copperhead is. Really impressed with this side of The Canyons, still not too enamoured with the base area and Super condor side.

Wendy’s volunteering at the Christian Centre. Let’s hope she doesn’t catch religion as she’s not been immunised against it.

Quit just after lunch, get some browny points and meet Wendy back at the house.

Do some wine shopping. It must be the altitude and dry atmosphere up here that makes it evaporate so quickly.

Another awesome day.
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The Darwin Awards – Chlorinating The Gene Pool

Courtesy of Leon came across this web site – http://www.darwinawards.com – that salutes the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it with their own stupidity…

David, 46, was sliding down an Italian ski slope one night, riding on padding that he had removed from the safety barriers at the bottom of the run. It did not occur to him that it might be dangerous to sled down the same slope from which he had stolen protective padding.

“The men had all been drinking when they tore off the padding, and ironically they careened straight into the bare barriers at the bottom of the piste (groomed slope). David died from head and chest injuries inflicted by the unpadded metal. Two of his friends survived with medical attention. Another Darwin Award candidate is still missing after he wandered away “bloodied and distressed.”

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Ever wonder why scumboarders don’t follow the common sense skiers code. Well when you have scumboard INSTRUCTORS having an infestation (Scumboarders) siesta across the middle of the slope and of course setting off without checking behind them, it’s really no surprise. They should be sacked.

Thursday – cool and sunny.

Overnight snow grooming.

Up to Deer Valley for a days skiing. For the first time ever I was not too impressed. Groomed runs were quite skied out and so very busy.

Meet Wendy down at the Snow Park Lodge for lunch. Have a few runs after and then quit for the day.

Anna and Leon are taking us out to dinner. Try the Blind Dog but they’re booked up apart from a late table when Noddy will have well gone past Big Ears. Plan B, we decide to go to Squatters and if it’s too busy we’ll resort to plan C, go and buy Sushi at supermarket. After waiting for 20 minutes and no bus, we go for Plan D. Go home, have wine with beans on toast.

What is it with eating out in PC. Every time we try and go out it’s a total screw up. Last year there was power cut on Main Street so all restaurants were closed. We joked about going to MacDonalds as a guaranteed fall back. Turns out on the news the following day that it’s a day of revolt against Trump, even MacDonald’s was closing for the day.

When will Americans get over their loathing for the current President. Yes, it’s almost the French Revolution against Trump, but it always seems to me that no matter who the current President is, Americans always detest him and think he’s an idiot. It’s in built in their psyche. Get over it.
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Wouldn’t you think that in 21st Century the IT industry could create a better security solution than “Password Hell”. One password is insecure; unique passwords are impossible to remember; but whatever you do don’t write them down.

I know lets use Lastpass or something similar. Hang on, doesn’t that store my password in the cloud. Given recent scare stories am I going to trust that? Hmmm!

Then of course you get those arrogant t..ts (can’t really find a word strong enough) who insist on dictating to you your logon (whats wrong with allowing email address – oh I know i’ll be able to remember it) and password structure. I wouldn’t mind they’re usually to some inane website like Donkey sanctuaries, that not even the most nerdy hacker would want to penetrate.

Don’t they realise I’m lucky if I can remember what I had for breakfast, never mind 84 unique passwords.

It still amazes me how few apps or sites utilize finger print. Come on is anybody out there listening? We desperately need a simple and secure solution before my generation’s brains just melt into mush.

Rant over.

Friday – cool and sunny.

A days skiing with the Schmitt family, including the downhill racer Angela.

Head over to the Canyons. Work our way over to Red Pine Lodge for lunch. Then work our way back again, ge back to the Gondola just in time before it closes. A good day but oh so busy in places and quite icy.

With my track record these past two years it’s also always good to ski with a nurse.

In the evening we all have a Mexican takeaway at our place and then Angela entertains us with her repertoire. Where does she get her imagination and energy from. Her and Jasper will be like twin tornadoes.

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Peter Kay – Misheard Lyrics:

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Hasn’t our government got something more important to do than debate rescinding Trump’s invite. America can be a great friend to us and no doubt help us in BREXIT. We need all the friends we can get, because let’s face it the EU will be out to screw us at every opportunity.

Can the liberal bed wetters just get over it. He’s the democratically elected leader of one of our closest allies. Where were these sulking REMOANERS when Obama stuck his snout in our business.

The great danger to the world isn’t Donald Trump. It’s the threat by Islamists — aided and abetted by those lefty liberal stormtroopers, whose brains have dropped out, and have appeased these enemies of the west for years, and who have been sent totally wild by a US president who dares to want to defend freedom instead.

Why doesn’t everyone please calm down now?

Saturday – cool and snowy.

Lazy start to the day. As it’s black out day there’s no skiing on my locals pass.

Park City mountain base on a snowy day.

Cultivate some browny points by going down Main Street with Wendy for a Merchandising fiesta. As usual we don’t buy anything, but it’s the thought that counts. Then it’s a Starbucks moment for us both, before I bravely go with her for the weekly shop. How come I start out with all these good intentions but end up loosing the will to live waiting for her. Ah it takes so long because she’s got to find everything. Hang on this is the same store she’s been coming to at least once a week. Now you see if this was a male dominated role we’d have had the UN establish a World Wide Standard for supermarket layout. End of wasted time problem and eliminates the marketing departments opportunity to screw the customer by moving things around.

in the evening we try and catch up on British TV. What with Netflix and now HBO we’re swamped.

Question times from Edinburgh. Nothing but loathsome, grabbing, whining jocks. For the FSM sake lets give them a 2nd referendum on devolution, but this time England should get a vote in whether they stay or go. I’m sure it’d be a landslide to get shut of them, if only to see less of that gobby bitch from the SNP.

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Milo vs Muhammad

Sunday – cool and plenty of snow.

This is what it would be like up there.

Black out day again, but it not so bad as it’s snowing with that horrible wet snow. One of the busiest days of the year, atrocious weather and lousy visibility, definitely a day to be avoided. Sad for all those who have just come up for Presidents weekend.

We tootle off down to the Tangier Outlets centre to take Wendy for some retail therapy. Don’t we just love the Columbia store. Every year they pack in more merchandise and less room for the customers. At this rate there’ll be no room for the customers next year. I wonder if the geniuses in the customer exploitation and piracy department (marketing) will notice?

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Christian center, where Wendy volunteers, is amazing. Tons of food from supermarkets, local businesses and Starbucks, toys and household goods. Everyone is so friendly and helpful. A wonderful example of the beneficial efforts of religion.

Wendy’s been invited to the weekly prayer meeting, but she’s given that a pass. But they’re cool with that. Thankfully she’s not caught religion despite not having been immunised.

Religion would be wonderful if there wasn’t a God involved.

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Trump People’s Court – SNL

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So I stroll into the mens toilet in the Outlets Centre. The Mecca and inner sanctum of retail therapy and marketing. Have I wandered into the ladies I ask myself as lo and behold the high priest of marketing have screwed up with their all important message. How so? Well all the photos / adverts are of womens clothes. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been of tasty sexy lingerie.

Monday – cool and snowy.

Refuelling the snow cats.

Some fresh snow overnight. Lazy mornings skiing. Take it easy as it’s oh so busy, being Presidents Day. And no despite the general hate and loathing for Trump they haven’t cancelled it for the next four years. It seems a peculiarly American attitude in that they always hate or think the current Presidents an idiot. What’s more even if they voted for him.

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European leaders should heed the clarion call from someone who has intimate first-hand knowledge of Islam – the Somalian-born former Dutch MP Ayaan Hirsi Ali, forced to flee to the US because of threats from Muslims who objected to her caustic criticism of Islam: “Islam is not a religion of peace. It’s a political theory of conquest that seeks domination by any means it can. Every accommodation of Muslim demands leads to a sense of euphoria and a conviction that Allah is on their side. They see every act of appeasement as an invitation to make fresh demands.” (March 21, 2009) Europe will ignore her dire diagnosis at its peril. Unless it faces up to the bleak realities confronting it and tailors its policies accordingly, the consequences will be, indeed, grim… and gory.

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SNAFU Award – System Normal All F..ked Up
All this extra well being in my life, with me trying to ride my virtual surfboard on the wave of life, has me needing some balance. The Rants partly help but there’s such crap out there that at least once a blog I will probably need to highlight the SNAFU award for the incompetents who most deserve feeding to the lions on a Saturday afternoon in a Flavian amphitheatre me thinks.

I’m sure software developers and web designers will lead the way in these daily attempts to boil my blood. I’m positive BBC iPlayer software department will deserve an annual award.

Let’s start as we mean to go on with recognition of the BBC’s very own iPlayer software development team for their leading edge SNAFU software. Runner up goes to ITV player. Why don’t they both just close their IT departments and sub-contract it to Netflix or HBO who seem to have a credible solution.

Tuesday – cool and very windy.

More fresh snow overnight. Not a lot but it all helps.

Mountains at night.

It’s howling a gale at the top. 6 or more lifts and the gondola are closed as it’s too windy. Expect they may close the others soon so keep on the runs that you can get back down to base on without being trapped.

Lazy morning again. Snows great though.

Carol pops round in the evening with our Costco supplies.

My blog gets promoted on the Home Exchange site – https://blog.homeexchange.com/blog/exchange-tips/experienced-approach-to-home-exchange/5637/
– not had any death threats, yet.
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More cray Utah laws
Individuals may not possess beer in containers larger than two liters unless they are a retailer.

Boxing matches that allow biting are not allowed.

It is illegal to cause a catastrophe.

You must have identification to enter a convienence store after dark.

Women may not swear.

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Pat Condell- Full Respect To #Muslims And #Islam

20170208 – Oh No We Missed The Mountain Lion; Had To Settle For Two Moose.

Wednesday – warm and sunny.

Carol runs us back home and drops Wendy off at the Christian Centre and then we hit the slopes. Have a few runs together and then I get her to enjoy the day rather than sticking with me on the easy slopes. Meet up for coffee.

Wendy on the beach when we met in Newquay all them years ago.

What an awesome day, great weather and plenty of snow, although a bit crunchy. Still sticking with my “get my head back together” plan and enjoying the easy and flattering runs. A real confidence boost today. Skiings coming back together and so is fitness as I manage whole runs with no stops and no burnout. Very tempted to up the anti, but will stick with it for the week, got my 10 planned runs in.

Wow saw a sight rarer than a Mountain Lion sighting, as a scum boarder checked behind him before setting off. Amazing. Good job none of his mates saw him letting the side down. There’s hope yet.

Having a locker is great. No longer have to lug those heavy planks of wood up, but also have a comfortable locker room to change in.

After skiing walk down to the Christian Centre to pick Wendy up and walk home. She’s bought a bag of toys for all of $5. They weigh a ton as I lug them back home, like a knackered pack horse donkey, hotter than two hampsters farting in a wool sock in my artic gear, sweltering in the sun.

Lazy evening trying to stay awake.
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More crazy Utah laws

It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.

Birds have the right of way on all highways.

A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.

It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway.

Alcohol may not be sold during an emergency.

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Love him or hate him. Agree or disagree with him. One of the 52% for Brexit or the minority’s against it. Either way, surely you have to admit that Nigel Farage has helped achieve a momentous change in English history.

So why hasn’t he been made a lord? Especially when you consider all the corrupt, greedy, brown nosing arseholes and septic boils on the backside of humanity that have. It’s simple really, he just doesn’t fit in with the existing politically correct bunch of wimps, frightened of their own shadow and terrified to say what they really think. Just watch them on Question Time as they shit themselves when asked an awkward question and try and weasel out of it.

Shame on the political establishment.

Thursday – warm and cloudy.

Well my weight loss is going great. I won’t call it a diet as I’m eating normal and assisting the American wine industry. In just under 1 weeks lazy skiing I’ve lost 4lbs. Once I get in full swing skiing I’ll have to be careful walking over sewer grates in case I fall through. Perhaps need to increase the wine intake to slow down weight loss!

View from our balcony.

Lazy start to the day.

It’s 44F, like skiing on a slush puppy – spring skiing. Hard work. Don’t like. Just manage 5 runs before throwing my toys out the pram and going home. Mind you at least with 10 weeks here you can afford to be picky – did I really just say that? Where’s the obsessive, must ski all day every day me gone?
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Theresa May faces defeat in the House of Lords over the right of foreign nationals, from other European Union countries, to live and work in Britain after Brexit.

Those who arrived before the EU referendum last summer would be able to stay under an amendment to the article 50 bill tabled by the Liberal Democrats who are confident that they have the cross-party alliance needed to get it through.

What is it with lefty liberal multicultural appeasement monkeys, and middle class bed wetters, that can’t understand even the basics of negotiation. What a cracking idea, grant EU nationals the right to remain, proves how what liberal, bleeding heart, caring do gooders we are, and then the EU can stuff the Brits living in the EU, use them as a bargaining chip in the negotiations.

Anyone who votes for this should be exterminated. If this passes then we should abolish the house of Lords and ensure all liberal MP’s are committed to a loony ward.

What planet are these fools on?

Friday – driving snow.

Bloody hell it’s raining down here. Not doing the snow any good. Need fewer therms.

In Newquay when we were young and first met.

On my daily commute there’s some awesome wildlife as two Moose are just loitering around outside Jans on a busy corner. Alas no Mountain Lion sighting. Who knows perhaps the Bear will be back this year.

Still being slightly stupid when it comes to skiing, I set off for a few runs. At least it’s not a white out but the driving snow means it serious goggle skiing. They don’t have any wipers so visibility is confusing and it’s so warm that we’re still skiing on a giant slush puppy. After a few runs, enough to get me another “Stupid Skier” pin, common sense kicks in and I quit. Good news is despite my gear being drenched I’m cocooned in a warm dry shell thanks to my 10 year old jacket and new ski pants.

Spat me vitals, another days skiing compromised, feeling like a Dalek whose plan to conquer the world was frustrated by a staircase.

Call off at Starbucks to try another of their reserve coffees and buy a bag for home.

Wendy’s volunteering at the hospital. I very kindly meet her off the bus and we travel home together. Lazy afternoon and evening. Catch up on some UK TV.

Meanwhile feeling like banging my head against a wall as I try to understand how Trump’s Immigration ban has violated the constitution. It seems that there’s enough muddied waters to make a whole anti-trump parade of millionaire lawyers. I’d always thought having a written constitution, unlike ours based on past precedent, would make life easier and clearer.

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Peter Kay – Gypsys

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Just love the free bus system around here. It’s amazing. But no wonder this country has an excess adipose tissue problem. The bus stops are about every 10 feet so that the poor dears don’t have to walk too far.

Today took the blobby biscuit as 3 young lads had waited for the bus to ride just one stop rather than walk. I bet they’re the same ones who wait an age for a lift to go down just one flight. I wonder whether they just sit on the lift up and then down, rather than bothering to expend any energy skiing.

At this rate I think there’s a real danger Americans will evolve to be legless.

Saturday – cool and sunny.

Wow 13″ of the good stuff overnight. The World looks a heavenly place this morning – paradise.

Those gorgeous ski runs.

Set off to see Angela race on Nascar. Never seen lift queues like it. Takes me 45 minutes just to get to the top of Payday, and thats using the singles line. Angela bombs down Nascar, great little skier.

Snow pretty good but tough skiing with all that fresh powder. Very busy, frighteningly so in places. Too busy, too many queues, too many people. Spoils it.

Walk down to Chase and then meet Wendy at supermarket – well where else would you expect to find her.

Hal and Carol come round for dinner as Angela’s having her first sleep over and they’re unsure whether she’ll stay.
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Truck of Peace: New Year’s Resolution

Sunday – cool and sunny.

First really bluebird days since we’ve been here.

View from our back deck.

Up and out early to get Anna and Leon sorted with ski hire. Then a great days skiing. It nice and cold and they had 3″ of new snow overnight so the snows in pretty good, squeaky, condition.

I quit just after lunch time as Jere and Diana picked us up and took us to the Park City Mountain Sports Club (PCMSC) apres ski. It’s a bring an appetiser and own booze do at Bobs home. What massive awesome home they have. He has an amazing collection of baskets and Indian pottery. Finally get to pay our club dues, all of $25 a year. Money well spent. Have a great afternoon with plenty of nice food and much chit chat about skiing. Trump’s kept out of the polite conversation.
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America in all its big, brash, grand and excessive glory. Don’t we just love it. And not a nipple in site, but I’m sure there’s enough naked flesh to piss off the Muslim fundamentalists.

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Computer Sayings
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.

I had a life once. Now I have a computer.

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there’s no law against whacking them around a little.

Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?

Monday – cool and sunny.

Up early for another great days skiing with Anna and Leon.

Bus stop on a very cold day.

Hal picks us up and takes us up to the mountain so we can use 6 of his buddy passes. What awesome friends we have.

Snows still in pretty good condition although some runs are a bit icy.

Meet up with Wendy for lunch and butties at PC base. Then I quit and make our way home, via the liquor store – need wine.
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Wiped out by an out of control SCUMBOARDER. Why do they allow these crazy, dangerous (they can only see one side), careless scrots on the mountain?

Wiped out by crazy scumboarder.

Wendy’s been taken out twice by these vermin and stoped skiing because of them.

While Trump’s got his pen out perhaps he could issue an executive order to deal with them. Here’s a few suggestions:

1 Scumboarders should, wherever possible, be confined to their own mountains where they can do the gene pool a favour by wiping themselves out.

2 Scumboarders should have to pay double as they are clearly a safety hazard, due to their blind side.

3 Scumboarders should have to go to the back of any queue until such time as ALL skiers have been loaded on the lift.

4 Scumboarders should never be allowed to ride on the same chair as a skier, they are a liability when unloading.

5 Scumboarders should not be allowed to undo one foot to deal with flat sections.

6 Scumboarders are totally incapable of looking behind them before setting off, so if they fall or stop they should be made to take their board off and walk the rest of the way down. This will also discourage them from taking a infestation (collective noun for a group of scumboarders) siesta across the middle of the slopes.

7 Scumboarders should be made to quote the skiers code, word perfect, before being sold a ticket.

8 Scumboarders who violate the skiers code should have their pass confiscated.

9 Scumboarders who crash into a skier should be banned for life. Their boards should be confiscated and turned into firewood or seats. If they crash into another scumboarder that’s ok. It will help reduce gene pool pollution and improve evolution.

10 Scumboarders who travel at more than 5 mph should have their pass confiscated.

11 Scumboarders equipment should have a 100% sales tax.

12 Scumboarders should not be allowed on the slopes on weekends or national holidays.

13 Scumboarders should have wing mirrors fitted to their compulsory helmets so that they can see their blind side.

Rant over. Good news is I’ve survived with just a bruise and learnt that I can fall without breaking anything.

Tuesday – cool and sunny.

Lazy start to the day. I don’t get up there until 11:00, letting the snow soften up.

Valentines day wishes.

Hals out on the mountain and gives me a ring to hook up (learnt that in my teach yourself American course). We meet up and I drag his skiing down to my level. Have a great morning skiing with him, he helps me regain some of the confidence I lost thanks to that crazy scumboarder yesterday.

Coffee on the beach outside Campos, enjoying the sun and putting the World to rights. What an awesome day; what awesome skiing; what an awesome life.

Drop my skis off for waxing. Don’t you just love it when people tell you they don’t need them sharpening, just waxing, even though they’ll get less revenue. Cole Sports, a no rip off shop.

Join Wendy, somewhat belatedly, for Tipsy Tuesday. Pass on the Margarhetas, a girls drink, but commit a sin and have a well deserved beer. Great free Nachos and Salsa.

National Ability Centre send out an urgent request for volunteers, I nip along and volunteer to do guiding from Sunday. They’re a great organisation and do such great job, they really do deserve support.
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Greatest George Carlin Quotes

The man who once said “life is worth losing” is dead. But his quotes live on. In no particular order here are his 101 best…

I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

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Pat Condell just dropped a truth bomb:

20170201 – Back To Paradise

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

This is the way to travel – Virgin Upper Class.


Escape at last, for 10 weeks skiing in paradise. Assuming I can avoid any major breaks.

Time for a drink at the bar.

So it’s goodbye remoaners, who are out to screw Brexit and the country. Goodbye liberal lefty PC stormtroopers. Goodbye to busy body marches – it’s nothing to do with you and is democracy in action. Goodbye to the hypocrisy on sensible border controls. Goodbye to endless futile petitions. Goodbye to toddler tantrums thrown by prissy and spoiled millennials.

You’ll not be missed.

Hopefully by the time we get back everyone will have calmed down and we’ll be on our way out of the Evil Union.

Wendy at the bar. Now there’s a surprise.

We escape in style as we fly Virgin Upper class Manchester to Atlanta. We upgraded with our air miles. What an amazing way to travel, but what silly prices. They tuck you up with a continental quilt and a brandy to drown the nightmares, but no bedtime stories and you can tell times are hard when there’s no onboard masseur or upper class chef.

Arrive in Park City 24 hours after leaving home but the luxury of the 9 hour flight certainly made the trip much easier. Sadly it’s back to cattle class from now on, at least until we amass enough air miles for an upgrade or accelerate the rate at which we fritter away of our kids inheritance – tempting.

Lounge in our new home for the next 10 weeks and then over the summer.

No comment on the usual screening / TSA crap. I think I need some tablets or a better surfboard wax to keep me on my virtual surfboard of life when encountering this nonsense. Just think of it. The so called World’s leading country, suffers all this through a few 7th century barbaric rag heads, and can’t come up with better scanners and solutions. Time for Trump to get his teeth into this senseless bloated job creation industry that’s got too big to ever be tackled.

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Computer sayings

Lounge

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.

I haven’t lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere.

I just wish some mouths had a backspace key.

Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat “what if?” questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working.

Don’t explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.

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Kitchen and dining room.

Is it really a security threat if those travelling in cattle class use the toilets in upper class? Well I can tell you the seats the same size, they smell the same, you can splash your clogs the same, they flush the same and your fingers would go through the toilet paper the same.

No one has yet managed to explain why according to the federal aviation authority it’s a security threat.

Thursday – hot and sunny.

Master bedroom.

Our new home for the next 10 weeks is awesome – see pictures. Thanks to Janelle and Mike. It’s oh so comfortable, quality all round and well equipped. Feeling at home already.

Master bathroom.

Sadly no skiing as Wendy has to go for her drug test, needed if she wants to volunteer at the hospital. I ask you is it really likely a 68 year old Nanna is on anything stronger than Ovaltine? Then it’s the Costco experience to really excise our credit cards. To further enhance the days shopping extravaganza it’s the local supermarket. Wendy’s in her element. By this time I’m off to the liquor store for the essentials (wine, beer and brandy) and then I slink off to Starbucks, drowning my lost ski day sorrows in one of there selected coffees.

Well that’s it, from now on I’m allowed on the slopes.
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Just say “Merry Christmas”.

Let’s flaunt the Christmas word at every opportunity. If it offends you then tough shit.

Friday – hot and sunny.

2nd Bedroom.

My big debut day on the slopes. Yeah, I can still ski, so that’s a start. Must admit there’s quite a bit of trepidation, especially as I get off my nemesis, that dam lift, for the first time. I’m taking it easy on green runs for the first week as I try to get my head back together. I’m also not that fit. Well actually my dodgy leg is fine, no problem, exercises paid off, but my good leg is burning out and needs strengthening.

Stop for a well deserved coffee. I’ve been well and truly fleeced. $5.39 for a cup of coffee. Of course I have a few polite but caustic comments about greed and having a urine sample taken. “Ah but you can have free refills sir”. As if that makes any difference, although next time I’ll bring a flask and top it up. The young cashier tried to make me feel better by showing me how ridiculous a Burger, chips and coke were at $28.

Another bathroom.

An awesome first days skiing. Great weather, awesome snow and best of all I survived.

Wendy’s toddled off to the Christian Aid centre to volunteer on reception. Another day to keep her out of trouble. Pick her up from there and return the Hertz mobile. From now on we’re poor, have to make do with the bus and shank’s pony – very healthy.

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When your biscuits drown in your brew:

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Dismantling Europe – Merkel Her Migrants And What’s Incoming.

Saturday – hot and sunny.

3rd floor bedroom.

Start the day with a healthy breakfast of granola and red fruits. Oh the joys of eating healthy as I chomp down on a brick in my granola and a slab size portion of tooth comes off like a glacier calving. That’s what you get eating healthy. In future I’ll stick to buttermilk pancakes or waffles.

Being Saturday the dentists are all resting their weary laurels, such a hared job, so I’ll have to slice my tongue every few minutes and suffer until Monday.

Another en-suite bathroom.

Oh well time to hit the slopes.

Another great days skiing, even if it is only on the easy greens for now. I really should have done more all round ski exercises.

Evening we start on my free trial of HBO Now. They really seem to have a great selection and it works over a VPN from the UK.

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Truck of Peace: Election Special

Sunday – hot and sunny.

Given the traffic gridlock early yesterday I have a leisurely start to the day and set off around 11:00. Get a couple of hours awesome skiing in even if limited to the greens.

View from our lounge.


Meet Wendy for lunch at Jupiter Java. Surprise, surprise Eva, our favourite barista is there – she’d got a new job at Wells Fargo, is now studying accountancy at night school but still works here most Sundays as well. We get high fives and hugs all around. I hold Eva responsible for our destitution having introduced me to Dirty Chai’s, which now cost me a fortune at Starbucks.

Hot tub ready for the kids and snow pile ready to make an Igloo for Jasper.

Wendy sets off home on foot and I have another couple of hours skiing.

It’s weird this getting it back together on skis. I know I’m competent, and touch wood, hardly ever fall. My first broken femur was due to hitting too fast a mogul field I didn’t realise was there. My second was due to a witch from California stamping on my ski. Yet I’m still nervous. Im so much more aware of idiots around me who come to close. But, FSM forbid, even if I was confined to skiing just green slopes for ever it would still be the most awesome. It’s just so great to be out there and enjoy the mountains.

More HBO to drop off to. I blame the wine.

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My morning commute.

How friendly and kind Americans are. It is just so great to be back here amongst our American friends. They go out their way to be kind and helpful. Now I even have access to a ski storage locker at the base so I no longer need to lug skis backwards and forwards.

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A picture is worth a thousand words but it takes 3,000 times the disk space.

View from the dinning room.

If it draws blood, it’s hardware.

In God we trust, all others we virus scan.

Rebooting is a wonder drug — it fixes almost everything.

A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.

Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups.

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Happy New Year Liberals & Refugees: (Pat Condell)

Monday – hot and sunny.

View from the dentist chair. Fortunately it’s one way glass. How do I know? well given all the rude gestures and Agincourt salutes I’ve been giving to passers by, I’ve not had a single response.

Appointment with fear arranged for 11:00. Dentist even remembers me from last time 3 years ago. His advice is a crown as he doesn’t think a filling will last long. A mere $1,129, to think people moan about NHS. All very efficient from a cast of thousands.

Amazing isn’t it for the past 25 years or so I’ve had fillings and crowns without the needle and have never really had any pain, either during or after treatment. This is a big job so I opt for the needle, but pass on the laughing gas. The second injections more painful than anything in the past 25 years. I thought water boarding was illegal in the US, Despite Trump’s wishes, well this dentist doesn’t seem aware of that as he sprays water in my mouth, does a great job of near choking me. I’m in the torture chair for 90+ minutes, by which time the injections wearing off. And then to top it all the rest of the day I’m in pain from the pneumatic drill he’s used on me while fitting the temporary crown. In those 25 years I’ve never suffered any after pain like this.

Relax after a hard day on the slopes.

Joy I can come back in two weeks for fitting the proper Zirconium crown. Can hardly wait.

No trip to Kimble junction would be complete without Wendy sauntering in not one but two supermarkets. Treat her to a new girlie pink haversack – aren’t I kind.

Yeah, great news we’ve booked our flights for our Park City summer extravaganza. Yes, we escape for 10 weeks back to paradise.

Need copious bottles of medicinal wine tonight to overcome the pain.

A wasted day. No skiing.

Well apparently they closed the Interstate both ways because a herd of Elk have decided to take a stroll down it. Just love this country.

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Truck of Peace: Pussy Hat Spaz Fit

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Wendy’s choosen subject for Mastermind is the Park City transit system timetables. The infinite and intricate detail with which she plans a journey is amazing, but I do wish she’s just tell me which bus, where, when and skip telling me all the intricacies and alternative options.

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

Well I tried to talk Helen out of skiing with me whilst I’m still taking it easy, but she’s a glutton for punishment.

Off to work.


We set off in a howling gale, snowing, flat light and powder drifts all over. You can hardly see where we’re going and after one run our gear is soaked. We both agree it’s time to call it a day, this is no fun. Assumedly we’ll get the “Stupid Skier Pin” for venturing out in such conditions. Good news is there’s no lift lines and hardly anyone out.

A white out – deserves a “Stupid Skier Pin”.

Helen and George share there locker with me. This is awesome as it means I won’t have to lug my skis up every day and there’s a pleasant locker room available.

Helen comes back to our place for a coffee, whilst waiting for George. Meanwhile Wendy’s tootled off to the hospital to sign up as a volunteer and complete her learning modules.

Police ring to let us know theres one of these beauties on the prowl – keep you dogs and cats in doors. Hope we get to see it.

Carol and Hal pick us up in the afternoon to take us back to their new home for dinner. It’s awesome, +5,000 square feet; enough bedrooms and bathrooms to house a hoard of refugees; fantastic views over the Timpanoga Mountains; nice and remote. We have a lovely dinner and then stay the night so they can drop us back in PC in the morning. By way of a change I help Hal assemble some bunk beds, enjoy it, really is my forte these days, needs to be as the instructions are about as much use as a PC with no screen.

Awesome American friends.
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Crazy Laws in Utah

Paradise. Not 70 buxom, perpetual virgins but at least there’s no need to blow yourself up.

It’s legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.

It is considered an offense to hunt whales.

No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.

It is against the law to fish from horseback.

It is illegal not to drink milk.

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Pat Condell, Just Dropped A TRUTH BOMB!