Monthly Archives: July 2014

20140728 – Leisurely week; Yeah it’s raining.

 

Sunday – hot and sunny.

 

Our place of work on the mountain.

Our place of work on the mountain.

Yet another day volunteering on the mountain for me. Wendy’s still not so good so she’s relaxing at home. Not quite as hot today and I’m on with the easy crew. No hassle. No timetabled move arounds. Everyone just works together and moves around, takes breaks when they need to and it all just works. Definitely the best crew to work with.

In the evening Lynda comes round for dinner and we have a pleasant evening, good company and good food. In typical American fashion Lynda brings a desert – lime pie, delicious. It seems to be the American norm that you always take a desert, or starter, or something for the meal. We’re starting to get the hang of it.

People who say, “you can’t get blood from a stone”, obviously haven’t cheated on their husband in a Muslim country.

 

Monday – cooler with some cloud in the morning, rain late afternoon.

 

Never thought I’d say it but the cool, clouds and even the rain are such a welcome change after weeks of sun and heat.

Local "historic" bar.

Local “historic” bar.

Try a new ride today. Down to Round Vally and then follow the motorway / auto-route / inter-state down to Kimbal Junction. Stop for a nerdy browse in Best Buy followed by a leisurely Starbucks. Finally manage to identify that beautiful but elusive bird – see last weeks blog. It’s not a new species after al but a Black Headed Grosbeak. Then it’s the long uphill haul back to the Racquet club.

Wendy’s still not right and the UTI seems to be back so it’s a walk round to the sawbones.

The interesting, and what would appear common sense approach, to American doctors surgeries is that a nurse alway, ALWAYS, takes you temperature, blood pressure, weight and height. The vital signs. Seems to make sense to me. What do they take in the UK? A receptionist, who usually seems to think she has the wisdom of 6 years at med school despite not even a GCSE to her name, takes your name if you’re lucky and usually wants to know what the problem is in such a way that everyone in the waiting room can hear – best answer seems to be a few coughs and splutters followed by “A highly contagious form of the the Ebola virus.” That sure helps get you to the front of the queue as everyone flees for the exit.

Now I know this countries a tad obsessive with litigation etc., but this takes the cookie. Wendy takes a urine sample with her as she knows the drill.

Not good enough she has to produce a sample there and then so that they know it’s hers. Hang on why in Chione’s name would anyone want to pay out a $100 and bring someone else urine. We’re there to get a problem fixed. It’s a bit like taking a friends car into the garage to have a problem fixed on your car. A jam jar of urine for a goldfish if you ask me.

 

Probably even less sour than raw Cranberry juice.

Probably even less sour than raw Cranberry juice.

Putting that lunacy aside I have to say the sawbones talked a lot of common sense. Gave her some antibiotics that should do the trick. It turns out the antibiotics our UK Quack had given her contained Septrin. So what you may say. Well, Wendy’s allergic to Septrin. It’s in her notes if anyone troubled to look. She’s had nearly a week of feeling crook due to our quack’s ineptitude.

Anyway back to the common sense sawbones gems of pithy country style wisdom:

1 Don’t take Cranberry tablets they’ve scientifically proven that only Cranberry Juice is effective for reducing UTI. Make sure it’s natural cranberry juice and not some cocktail of whatever slush was cheap when they bottled it.

2 Don’t bother taking pro-biotic tablets. There’s no scientific evidence that they help with IBS. They’re probably made in some filthy cowshed in China, where a guy with a pair of tweezers pops some gunge and probably some sawdust into a capsule. If you read the packets it right, well not about the guy, lunge and sawdust, but they’ve never been FDA tested. Instead try some natural yoghurt.

Listening to him reminded us both of our old family doctor, Dr Masters, she used to talk such natural common sense.

Now he also predicted that he was pretty certain this antibiotic was mild with no side effects and Wendy should be feeling 90% better within 24 hours. We’ll see!

Don’t die a virgin! There are terrorists up there waiting for you.

Actions speak louder than words.
That’s why you don’t need to read the Quran to say that Islam is violent.

 

Tuesday – clouds and rain.

 

For the first time since we’ve been here we can’t see the mountains for clouds. What a pleasant change it makes. Looks like we might get a relaxing 2014-07-16day in. Who knows may even get to read a book. I’m still on the same book I had when we got her 8 weeks ago. Just don’t get the time somehow.

Great start to the day with fluffy buttermilk pancakes, maple syrup or blueberry sauce and fresh mixed berries. Another great American junk food. Puts hairs on your chest and cholesterol in your blood.

Well Wendy’s starting her glass of Cranberry Juice a day regime. It’s more sour than “Toxic Waste” – another American candy (sweets) delicacy. Probably needs a 2lb bag of sugar in it to make it drinkable. Goodbye UTI; hello obesity and tooth decay. Perhaps she could mix it with a yoghurt.

What is it with American salt? It’s just so much more salty, potent and virulent. A bigger bang for your bucks. Even I have to take care I don’t put too much on.

It’s our first day, in all day, hunkered down – dare I say a pleasant change. Sat like a couple of kids in a caravan at Skeggy / Blackpool watching the rain come persist it down. And of course like everything American it is so much bigger and wetter. If you’re out in it I’m sure you’d drown.

Why did Abu Hamza cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop.

 

Moves to introduce a new generation of ‘smart guns’ which can only be fired by their owner have been dealt a blow after an American weapons store owner received death threats.

780a63b666361b2cb0c5217349e35defAndy Raymond, the owner of a shop called Engage Armament, had planned to sell the German-made handgun alongside his more typical range of high-powered customised assault rifles.

However, after a wave of anonymous calls from people threatening to shoot him if he put the safer weapon on sale, Mr Raymond has changed his mind and will not stock the weapon in his Maryland store.

There are more than 30,000 firearm deaths each year in the United States and latest figures show 606 people, including 98 children, died when guns were fired unintentionally. Guns do not make a nation safer, say US doctors who have compared the rate of firearms-related deaths in countries where many people own guns with the death rate in countries where gun ownership is rare.

More guns meant more deaths, they found. “The gun ownership rate was a strong and independent predictor of firearm-related death,” says Bangalore. “Private gun ownership was highest in the US. Japan, on the other end, had an extremely low gun ownership rate. Similarly, South Africa (9.4 per 100,000) and the US (10.2 per 100,000) had extremely high firearm-related deaths, whereas the United Kingdom (0.25 per 100,000) had an extremely low rate of firearm-related deaths.

However, the smart gun is being fiercely resisted by pro-gun campaigners who fear it will lead to a crackdown on their Second Amendment right to bear arms.


The obsession and lunacy continues. I can’t see common sense ever creeping in, sadly it’s so ingrained in their culture and psyche.

Laughable. Unbelievable. Here’s why I’ll not be going to Turkey:

Turkey’s deputy prime minister has provoked outrage and derision by declaring that women should not laugh in public, and berating them for spending 2014-06-18too much time on their phones.

Hundreds of Turkish women posted pictures of themselves on social media laughing in response to comments by Bulent Arinc, a founding member of the ruling Justice and Development Party, which is rooted in Islam.

Yet another country heading back towards 7th century barbarism with the so called “religion of peace”. Turkey’s authoritarian prime minister already looks set to expand his powerbase and marginalise rivals within his Islamist political party today by announcing that he will run for president. Chione forbid they should ever become a member of the EU.

 

Wednesday – Grey, very wet and drizzle.

 

Well we’re both supposed to be on duty on the mountain for 3 hours. Get there and rains stopped play so we’re sent home. Whopee!

Cheeky chappie.

Cheeky chappie.

Call at he bank for some money. American banks are just like UK banks. One employee serving, three stood around doing nothing and customers queuing up.

Then it’s Fresh market for some “incremental shopping”. Oh blessed are the poor with their shopping bags full waiting in the rain for the bus home – how un-American can you get.

It’s another day hunkered down. Today it’s just that very wet drizzle.

Chance to read a book at last and update the blog. Hopefully I might get the book I started at the beginning of June finished and my American History book.

Got quite a few books lined up, including the bible, having read the koran I thought it only fair and balanced to read the other best seller. Also got a Life of Mo to read; another American history book; along with two Pat Condell irreverent rant books; a Jeremy Clarkson rant; a Bill Maher irreverent rant; two physics books; a nerdy book on PHP and Javascript, looking forward to that one; a HTML5 and CSS3 book, nerdy again; along with Gigabytes of novels. Thank Chione for the Kindle. Yes, I know there’s something about a real book but at £50 per extra suitcase, per flight, the Kindle and iBooks save a fortune. That lot should keep me busy for the next year. Really must find more time to read.

Started doing the blog in raw HTML on WordPress. All the so called WYSIWYG blog editors I’ve used are more flaky than a pack of Jus-Rol puff pastry. Gives you so much more control, none of the problems and not really that much more difficult. Plus a real plus is that you can easily add captions to your photos.

For now that’s enough poking fun at Islam, they provide a rich source of fundamentalist lunatics, and we all know they need to get a sense of humour. I do my bit to improve their sense of humour with some desensitising therapy. Probably already have a few fatwas against me, so let’s turn to another organisation that will probably put a contract out on me. Yes, it’s the turn of the NRA and the gun lobby:

Thousands of dead fish have now washed up on shore along the coast of South Carolina. Today the NRA said that this wouldn’t have happened if those fish had guns.

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport. School shootings galore and no change in the regulation of guns

One Million Moms is a christian morality campaign. The group writes in a ‘call to action’:

The late night programming on the Cartoon Network, known as Adult Swim, plans to air the non-animated show Black Jesus portraying Jesus as a black
Our daily visitor.

Our daily visitor.

guy living in the hood. The show depicts him living in Compton Gardens and makes a mockery of our Lord. The foul language used in the trailer, including using the Lord’s name in vain, is disgusting. In addition, there is violence, gunfire and other inappropriate gestures which completely misrepresent Jesus. This is blasphemy!

Black Jesus is set to premiere on August 7 at 11:00 pm ET/ 10:00 pm CT, unless we intervene. Adult Swim plans to blaspheme Jesus on a weekly basis. This mockery will be similar to South Park and Family Guy , but much worse since the entire program will be based on lies about Christianity.

1MM will defend our Savior because He is Holy! Adult Swim is obviously not a family network, and this program is set to air later in the evening when children should be asleep, but that is no excuse. Adult Swim has crossed the line by belittling the Christian religion with foul jokes.

We need to send a loud and clear message to Adult Swim, its owner Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. (a Time Warner Company), and all potential advertisers of Black Jesus that this kind of programming is insulting and completely unacceptable. Adult Swim is not ridiculing any other religion currently and wouldn’t dream of mocking Mohammed or Muslims.

Yet again the blasphemy card is played. For a change it’s the Christian religion. Do they really believe that a supreme being, or a son of a supreme being, needs defending against such things. Simple, if you don’t like it don’t watch it, and if enough people ignore it they’ll take it off the air. But I owe 1MM a debt of thanks for making me aware of what may be an entertaining programme – apparently first screens on 7th August.

Who knows perhaps we may even get a Mo version.


PCMR Resort. Will it survive the Talisker assault?

PCMR Resort. Will it survive the Talisker assault?

20140720 – Road trips; This Is The Place; Jupiter bowl; Heber Creeper

 

Sunday – hot and sunny. But thunder and rain at teatime despite forecast to the contrary. Can’t trust them dam weather diviners here either.

 

Marching band early morning practise session.

Marching band early morning practise session.

A lazy day to recover from the frenetic week we’ve had living the dream. Have a bike ride into town to pick up some bread from the supermarket and that’s about the highlight of the day. Manage to shelter from the short burst of torrential rain. It seems that the weathermen over here are as bad as in the UK. Can’t even predict 15 minutes in advance.

We are not alone. It looks like we’re not the only country to treat their coffin dodgers like vermin or a bunch of inconvenient, incontinent droolers who need to be maltreated and shut up in a 6′ by 3′ hell hole to speed up the arrival of the grim reaper to save them from a living hell.

The US Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the Texas coast today.

This placed the Navy in an awkward position, as the boat was not heading to the USA, but towards Mexico and Central America.

In the good  old days when teachers were respected and had the ultimate sanction - a good hiding.

In the good old days when teachers were respected and had the ultimate sanction – a good hiding.

Another surprise finding was the people were white American retirement age seniors. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Central America or Southern Mexico as they wanted to return to the US as illegal immigrants. Then they would be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate American retirees.

It is believed the Navy gave them food, water and fuel and assisted them on their journey.

We are booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to join.

 

Monday – hot and sunny.

 

Rope making.

Rope making.

Up and out for a stroll around to Hertz to pick up a car. Yes, we’re playing at being American this week, driving a gas guzzler, in the vain hope that the NRA will call off the hit man from last weeks 2nd Amendment rant!

09:00 and the sun is out; there’s a lovely breeze; people are biking, walking, running, smiling and saying hello; even the steam roller driver has a smile and a greeting; there’s the start of a rounders (baseball) game; a marching band is practising in the car park; the American flag is proudly flying and no one is kicking off about it. Chione is up there in FSM heaven making snow ready for winter. All is well with the World.

Where have we gone so wrong as a country?

 

Pick Carol and Angela up and we’re off down to “This Is The Place” park. Allegedly it’s the place where in 1847 the Mormons arrived after there long trek and escape from persecution in the East – not from muslims I might add. This geezer with a beard, Brigham Young, well I assume he had a beard they always seem to, stuck his stick / staff / rod in the ground and said “This is the place”. The rest is just history, they settled, it became known as Salt Lake city and a state called Utah.

Their religion may be a tad weird, aren’t they all, but they certainly landed on their feet. Now we have Park City, a proper little Sodom and Gommorah in the midst of a religious enclave.

Anyway back to “This Is The Place” it’s a theme village based around the Mormons in the 1850’s. Characters in costume; old buildings; chance to re-

Native American (Red Indians for the rest of us) dancing.

Native American (Red Indians for the rest of us) dancing.

enact life back then, including washing and ironing; school house and lesson; craft shops; rope makers; carpenters; blacksmiths; train rides; pony rides; and of course the obligatory merchandising opportunity in a gift shop. Although to be fair, unlike Disney, you can exit the place without passing through, but you do have to buy tickets there. On the plus side once inside the park it’s all free. On the downside you can’t get a coffee or anything else not approved by the Book of Mormon or the angel Macaroni.

Interesting how yet another religion is obsessed with head covering for women, in bonnets in this case, and separation of boys from girls in school.

A good day out. Angela get’s appointed Sheriff and is on the trail of the baddies at every opportunity.

On the way home stop off for afternoon tea and coffee – no Mormon stricture here – in a pleasant canyon restaurant.

Monday evening free cultural overdose with a Beethoven string quartet.

Monday evening free cultural overdose with a Beethoven string quartet.

Monday evening a Beethoven festival in city park – free. Deli string quartet playing. I go for a real cultural overdose while Wendy enjoys herself at the supermarket. Someone has to absorb all this free culture, even if I am a luddite.

A pleasant end to another lovely day.

Jokes don’t kill people.

Muslims who are offended by jokes kill people.

 

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

 

Up and out to drive over Guardsmen Pass. Never get a chance in winter as it’s always closed, so quite looking forward to it.

Stop off and go for a walk up to Jupiter Peak. Probably the only time we’ll get up here as it’s serious expert terrain. All double black diamonds.

Top of Jupiter bowl

Top of Jupiter bowl

Just to look down them from the top can stain underwear. How anyone can ski these amazes me. It’s only a short walk, about 3 miles, but takes nearly 2 hours as we’re scrambling up and down loose scree. I’d rather go uphill on that stuff anytime, downhill is an absolute nightmare, makes you feel like a doddering 90 year old. Definitely a two walking pole hike.

Then drive over the pass and down into Big Cottonwood Canyon to have a look at Brighton and Solitude in summer. Well Solitude is aptly named in winter, but in summer it’s worse than a Christian monastery before the ISIS arrive.

Call in the Outlets centre to try and get some hi-tech boxer shorts. No chance they’re obsessed with tight, figure hugging, ball crushing, posing pouches. What ever happened to loose fitting boxer shorts that can let your dangly bits get some fresh air.

Top of Jupiter lift.

Top of Jupiter lift.

What is it with the Japanese visitors. If they’re not wandering around with surgical masks on, they’re in long coats when it’s 95F in the shade. Bizarre.

With a lot of research, the UK immigration officers have come up with the most foolproof plan ever to ensure that the immigrants to the country are culturally, economically and educationally compatible. It ensures greater harmony, seamless integration and lasting peace in the country.

It’s called “the bacon sandwich test”.

 

The taxman has been censured for “unacceptably poor” management after an IT project with an initial cost of £4.1 billion (nothings ever priced in millions these days) spiralled out of control to cost the taxpayer more than £10 billion. What’s more the contractors were due to take £0.5 billion profit and have so far taken £1.2 billion. Are these politicians stupid? Well we all know the answer to that. To top it all it’s not due to go live until 2017 so there’s plenty of scope for more cost overruns. How can they be allowed to take a profit when they over spent. Whatever happened to
Wending our way to the top of Jupiter bowl. In winter they do this with ski boots and skis on their back.

Wending our way to the top of Jupiter bowl. In winter they do this with ski boots and skis on their back.

fixed price contracts, a sure way to focus the minds and control costs.

These mandarins and buffoons can’t even manage to get a simple web page right, mind you no one else can, so there’s no chance on such a mammoth project. Every day I really do despair of the software industry as I suffer their incompetence – leading the pack of incompetents is BBC iPlayer, a shinning example of all that’s bad about this industry. I defy anyone to show me a web page that I can’t find at least one bug on.

Meanwhile I await the 2017 headlines “Tax System in total disarray as new software goes live. Yet another government software balls up with a fourfold overrun in costs.” Oh yea of little faith.

Panorama from top of Jupiter.

Panorama from top of Jupiter.


 

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

 

Pick Angela up and take her with us on a trip aboard the Heber Valley railway down to Provo.

Now we know why it’s called the Heber Creeper. It goes slower than an arthritic snail. But it’s a change.

Day out on the Heber Creeper to Provo.

Day out on the Heber Creeper to Provo.

Wendy’s sick, literally, by the time we get to the park at Provo. It seems the antibiotics she’s taking have this bloody awful side affect. Sad really because the main reason for going on the train was because she enjoys train rides.

In the evening I drive up to Deer Valley to catch the free concert. One of the advantages of having a car. Great butties to eat at the concert, but alas no wine. One of the disadvantages of having a car. Wendy has a rest after her exertions shouting for Huey and Ruth.

 

Thursday – hot and sunny.

 

Despite still being a tad off colour Wendy goes to the hospital to do her Florence stint.

I certainly think I need to stop doing the “mad dogs and Englishmen” act by going for mountain bike rides in the midday sun. The heat just drains you.

Wot no concerts tonight! Unbelievable, so it’s a night in with Dexter and that excellent bottle of Merlot. Only down side is that wine makes me nod off through Dexter. Now on season 7, only 1 season left.

This is a speech that allegedly Vladimir Putin made to the Duma:

“In Russia, live like Russians. Any minority, from anywhere, if it wants to live in Russia, to work and eat in Russia, it should speak Russian, and should respect the Russian laws. If they prefer Sharia Law, and live the life of Muslim’s then we advise them to go to those places where that’s the state law.

“Russia does not need Muslim minorities. Minorities need Russia, and we will not grant them special privileges, or try to change our laws to fit

Stunning views from the Heber Creeper train ride.

Stunning views from the Heber Creeper train ride.

their desires, no matter how loud they yell ‘discrimination’. We will not tolerate disrespect of our Russian culture. We better learn from the suicides of America, England, Holland and France, if we are to survive as a nation. The Muslims are taking over those countries and they will not take over Russia. The Russian customs and traditions are not compatible with the lack of culture or the primitive ways of Sharia Law and Muslims.

“When this honorable legislative body thinks of creating new laws, it should have in mind the Russian national interest first, observing that the Muslims Minorities Are Not Russians.”

Sadly it’s a hoax. He never said such things. But, isn’t it about time that our Prime Minister was saying these things. Just look at the evil perpetrated by ISIS in the name of this pernicious, so called religion. Look at their treatment of Christians and other religious minorities, not forgetting atheists and followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Wake up and smell the coffee before it’s too late and is happening here – well Blackburn.

This is what it takes to cancel a Comcast service. Something we have to do in the next few days.

They have a reputation for the worst customer service in America. I can assure you that it’s a well deserved reputation. Think BT are bad? This Company makes BT look like the Ritz of customer service. I could write a book on just my experience of getting Internet connected. My bloods starting to simmer at the mere thought of having to disconnect.

They’re absolutely fine as long as you don’t have to interact with their employees in the call centre or stores!

Fly fishing.

Fly fishing.

The British Islamic Association has said there is no longer room for extremists within their mosques.

Although a waiting list has been set up.

 

Friday – hot and sunny, yet again.

 

We’re both due on volunteer duty as mountain hosts, but Wendy’s still too ill to go so she stays at home and rests.

It’s another hot gruelling day. Don’t know what it is today but no one seems to be listening today. Everything has to be repeated several times and then they still do the wrong thing. Perhaps it’s the heat distorting the sound waves or the sweat dripping into their ears. The great American public at large.

Day goes pretty quickly and it’s not too busy, despite yesterday being pioneer day.

In the evening it’s the Electric Light Orchestra concert over at Deer Valley but Wendy’s still off colour (what weird expression that is) so we give it a miss.

Is this just not clear evidence of why anyone should not be allowed to drive around with a black bin liner on their head with a small slit in.

POLICE are appealing for information after a five-year-old boy was hit by a car in Blackburn.

The boy suffered a broken leg and was taken to Royal Blackburn Hospital after the collision at around 8pm on Wednesday in Whitewell Place.

Angela swinging away. A good way to get a blister!

Angela swinging away. A good way to get a blister!

The car involved, which was described as silver and driven by an Asian woman wearing a burkha, failed to stop and police are appealing for witnesses and information.

How can you be expected to see in such a garb. Just tunnel vision to match their attitude to tolerance and integration. Perhaps this is why the Saudis ban women from driving after all.

Ban it. You know it makes sense.

Solitude resort. Aptly named not a sole in sight.

Solitude resort. Aptly named not a sole in sight.

Back to American boxer shorts. I finally decided to truly “gird my loins”, American fashion with some hi-tech, wicking, sports, boxer shorts. I feel like Rudolf Nureyev in blue spandex – actually there is spandex in them. If this is what your average young American stud is wearing, then no wonder so many are in therapy.

Boxers are supposed to be loose fitting, not like compression wear to stop me getting a DVT in me bits. Must have been designed by a women, no escape for or place to drain the snake, probably spoil the lines, nothing worse than seeing a “boxer line” under my fashion shorts. Perhaps the wicking’s meant to wick away urine, so no need for an escape hatch for the one eyed bed python – I don’t think I’ll be trying that theory.

Thank the FSM that I’m not in Blackburn. I imagine it must be impossible to sleep with the caterwauling, cacophony, screaming and wailing coming from the minarets around the town as the so called “moderate Muslims” protest at these atrocities done in the name of their so called religion.

Islamist militants have ordered all women and girls in the Iraqi city of Mosul to undergo female genital mutilation as they impose their brutal interpretation of Sharia, the United Nations said yesterday.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the al-Qaeda splinter group Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (Isis), was said to have issued a fatwa as “a gift to the people” ordering all females aged 11 to 46 to submit to forced circumcision.

ISIS, a bunch of 7th century Islamic fundamentalist rag heads, have announced an Islamic state, or caliphate, across territory it controls in Iraq and Syria, with al-Baghdadi declared the leader of all Muslims. Iraq and Syria today, tomorrow the world.

Two weeks ago a young man was crucified after being caught eating during Ramadan. Christians were ordered to convert to Islam, pay a special tax or leave the city. Isis warned that there would be “nothing for them but the sword”, if they refused.

Wake up, have a swig of your favourite tipple before it’s too late and we’re all dhimmis, with our women gliding around like orgasm free, zombie daleks, in black bin liners with no peripheral vision and half there genitals missing, and the men licking the floor 5 times a day, wearing lice infested beards, at least those who haven’t been crucified.

I was delivering a lecture on Philosophy at the University.

“By the year 2100, religion will disappear from the civilised world,” I said to the students.

A Muslim bloke stood up.

“But professor, currently Islam is spreading and will increase even more by then,” he said.

“Abdul,” I said, “I was talking about the civilised world.”

 

Saturday – hot and sunny.

 

Colourful bird pinching our food. Alas it has no name tag so we're struggling to identify it. Could it be yet another new species.

Colourful bird pinching our food. Alas it has no name tag so we’re struggling to identify it. Could it be yet another new species.

Yet another gruelling hot day on the mountain volunteering. Wendy’s still feeling crook so she stays at home. In the afternoon she goes to see the local sawbones as it’s getting worse. It seems the antibiotics may well have cured the original UTI but the side effects are worse.

Interesting that the modern thinking seems to be to have shorter course of antibiotics. 3 days rather than 7. Cut them short before side affects kick in. Even argue that going the whole 7 days increases resistance. A complete turnaround to what we’ve always been told.

I can’t believe how important sunglasses are up here. 6,500 feet up, clear mountain air, the sun is so bright. But that’s totally eclipsed by the brightness of American teeth and the American smile. What is it with this obsession with dulux brilliant white teeth emitting 8,000 lumens of radiant energy and searing the eyeballs of anyone without sunglasses on. To top it all they seem to have their lips surgically held back to ensure the maximum exposure of teeth, even when not smiling. It’s almost like some right of passage like genital mutilation in the muslim world.

Then you get the youngsters, complete with braces, on their teeth that is, to achieve this perfection. In preparation for this dental perfection it seems that instead of braces being discrete, lets make them bright and colourful. Lets start dazzling people at an early age.

Of course us Brits are considered to have manky teeth, a by product of antediluvian dental industry and our just deserts for tolerating such a communist plot as our National Health Service.

Wow. Just seen 3 golfers walking. Have I been teleported to a different country. How un-American. Good job Mcarthy’s no longer around.

Solitude resort.

Solitude resort.


More lunacy from the crackpots in the EU:

Cancer researchers have warned that EU plans for a sweeping new privacy law could make future breakthroughs against the disease impossible.

Doctors, cancer charities, patients and MPs united yesterday in pressing Brussels to rethink its proposals, which threaten to strangle new drugs and discoveries with red tape, according to oncologists across Europe.

Esmo, the body that represents European cancer doctors, said the plans to force researchers to seek permission every time they wanted to use patient data would frustrate doctors and cancer sufferers alike.

This not only makes my blood boil but the marrow in my bones melt. It’s bad enough we suffer the daily crap from the EU. About time we had our own 1776 moment, with a modern day Jefferson & Adams rising to the occasion. Defeating this taxation without representation from the self serving bureaucrats of the EU, a life form even lower than your average politician.

Just consider if the Western governments decided to put their shoulder to the wheel and invest they could cure this awful disease. We need a modern day Kennedy to commit to this task, just as back in the 60’s they had the foresight and lofty aspirations to get to the moon.

Ah but we can’t afford it goes the cry? Well there’s a foreign aid budget that’s wasted on 3rd World countries that despise our democracies and seek our overthrow; that have space and weapons programmes; that support terrorism and piracy; that are corrupt and line the pockets of their rulers.

Let’s put ALL of that money to good use and beat this terrible disease.

Asda has made all of its Muslim employees redundant as their religion prevents them from selling alcohol or pork products.

“We would have loved to have transferred them to roles that would be acceptable to their religious beliefs” said a spokesman, “but unfortunately we don’t have a guns and explosives section.”

I’m not sure who invented the halal meat-slicer but I bet Abu Hamza had a hand in it!

I’m all for sport on TV, such as the Commonwealth Games, even though I don’t watch it. But can someone at the BBC, whose wages I pay, please explain to me why it is necessary to have it on BBC1 and BBC3 at prime viewing time. It seems like the stupidity of their IT department is spreading like a deadly ebola contagion throughout the BBC.

You know I think if they left BBC1 programming alone, just put the sport on BBC3, even the sports fans would be able to figure out where it was.

If Muslims stopped killing other Muslims because they belong to a different sect; stopped forcing their chosen practices on other Muslims; tolerated less pious Muslims; did not feel enraged if other Muslims did not abstain from alcohol or pork, or did not attend the mosque; did not kill men, women and children because they adhered to other faiths; did not blame rape on the length of a woman’s skirt; did not murder their own wives because they spoke to strangers, or their daughters because they flirted with boys or because they were raped by rascals; did not wish to start the World War III because some maverick cartoonist drew blasphemous caricatures; did not issue death fatwas because an author wrote a blasphemous book; or did not aim to spread their religion to the entire world, by the sword if necessary, then they could be tolerated in a civilised society.

20140713 – Cultural overdose; 1812 Overture; Mountain Bike clinics; Mirror Lake in the Unita’s

Sunday – very hot and sunny.

 

Park City from Lost Prospector trail on Masonic Hill. Found the trail at last.

Park City from Lost Prospector trail on Masonic Hill. Found the trail at last.

Up early to get up to Deer valley for the free guided tour. Sadly our free bus service expert, she shall remain nameless, screwed up on the timetable and didn’t notice the Deer valley service didn’t start until 10:00.

Never mind in typical experienced mother fashion she managed to misdirect and pacify a disappointed child by offer me an alternative. I just love the way Mothers do that with kids, divert them with a slight of hand. Always seems a little deceitful to me, but hey ho it works. Rather than my approach of dealing directly with confrontation and the resulting tantrums.

Anyway we finally get to find the Lost Prospector trail on Masonic hill. We’ve tried snowshoeing it in winter but could never find it. Probably because it’s covered in snow. A very pleasant walk with stunning view over Park City.

Visited Deer valley to book concerts, MTB course and have lunch and coffee. Place is more deserted than a Christian revivalist meeting in the

Deer Valley ponds and mountains from the cafe deck.

Deer Valley ponds and mountains from the cafe deck.

middle of Tehran. But in true American / Ford principle there’s a cast of 8 people sat around doing nothing and to add insult to customer service concert tickets have to be purchased upstairs.

Booked for the 1812 and the Disney concert.

Sat in sumptuous settees, sorry sofas, having coffee with great mountain views and watch the Stand up paddle boarders. Seems very popular, but I fail to comprehend why. Looks more boring than cricket or even watching footballers bite chunks out of one another in the World Cup. Need to try it I suppose.

Don’t you just love scroty behaviour, if it’s not yobo’s with feet on bus seats, it’s Dads with there feet on cafe tables – probably a footballer setting a great example to his kids. Better not say anything, he may bite or shoot me.

 

All the fun of the fair and FREE.

All the fun of the fair and FREE.

I see our local rag has picked up on yet more nonsense from the religion of peace, harmony, understanding and common sense. TV programme Dispatches reports on Muslims trying to take over our schools with teaching assistants talking in the staff room at the Olive School, Blackburn. Saying clapping and whistling are un-Islamic and ‘Satanic’; music in school should be banned as non-Muslim; the wearing of ties is forbidden in Islam as they could turn into serpents on the ‘Day of Judgement’; Gay people should be ‘stoned to death’. I can certainly relate to the “music and even dancing” issue as a chair of governor we had several attempts to ban these activities. What planet do these people live on. What amazes me is the brass balls to expect us to change to suit their barbaric ways. Simple. If you don’t like it go somewhere where these things are banned, there are plenty of barbaric places in the world that will accommodate your 7th century views.

Am I surprised? No. What really beggars belief is that we tolerate this 7th century barbaric nonsense in our schools and society.

Since the programme OFSTED did an unannounced inspection. Surprise, surprise they saw clapping and singing. Am I surprised? If the head of the school didn’t realise, after that programme, that there would be a snap inspection, then he should have been shipped out on the first plane to Taliban land. No doubt the kids were all lined up singing a song of welcome to the OFSTED inspectors, clapping them in and of course all wearing ties. Are OFSTED really taken in that easily.

It’s simple let’s get religion out of schools. They should all be secular. While we’re at it let’s get government meddling out of schools.

Angela squeals down the Alpine slide.

Angela squeals down the Alpine slide.

They’re not a political points scoring football or a test bed for the latest fad. Let’s have an independent organisation with clearly defined objectives, like the Bank of England, to stop this constant change in schools.

Lazy afternoon.

Monday – very hot and sunny again.

 

After all that exertion I have a lazy afternoon to recover. Meanwhile Wendy’s had a day in doing houseworky type things. It’s too hot in the afternoon to even sit out on the deck. We were going to go to the free chamber music concert in the park but back out. Wendy’s not too keen and it’s so hot. Perhaps next Monday evening.

Wow it’s that hot in the evening that we watch TV out on the deck.

Why do we need blasphemy laws? Surely a supreme being / god is capable of defending his or her own honour.

 

Tuesday – very hot and sunny again.

 

Angela shows me up with climbing skills and lack of fear.

Angela shows me up with climbing skills and lack of fear.

You’d think that yesterday being a 2,200 foot ride downhill it would be easy. Wrong! Exhausting and 85F didn’t help. Feeling the pain / gain this morning with muscles that haven’t seen action since the day I was born.

For the first time in ages we get the chance to have a lie in. Off up the to the mountain with Carol and Angela with some free ride tickets. Manage the Alpine slide; Alpine coaster; crazy golf can be a tad tortuous with a 5 year old; Angela loves the big slide and climbing wall, especially coming down. Then Wendy and I do the zip rider for good measure. A great day out and all free. By 16:00 we get home and its 90F out there.

Still living the dream. Every day is just epic. Great weather and so many things to do. Just no time to even sit around and read.

Watched Captain Philips DVD – just £0.72 a night from Red box, isn’t that just awesome.

Now I’m assuming for one moment that this film is reasonably accurate and has some degree of authenticity. I therefore find it incredulous

The latest is airline seat proposals from Airbus. Even cattle and sheep get more space in transit by law!

The latest is airline seat proposals from Airbus. Even cattle and sheep get more space in transit by law!

that here in the land of the sacred 2nd amendment; the NRA and all it’s propaganda; kids being slaughtered; proposals for armed teachers; little old ladies wandering around with with an AR15’s in their handbags, their right to protect themselves. Yet a massive American container ship on the high seas, in known piracy waters, and the only protection they have is water pistols (hoses). Not a gun, rocket launcher, missile or any sensible form of protection to be seen. A situation where even a half brained spaniel would see the merit in “bearing arms”. Goldfish for jam jars.

So a bunch of 3rd world rag heads, in a ram shackled boat that is on it’s last legs, take over a giant American container ship.

Putting that lunacy aside it’s a great film.

Wednesday – very hot and sunny again.

 

A typical living the dream sort of day. Up and out for a walk first thing. Back home for coffee. A bike ride into town. After lunch it’s a 5 minute stroll round to the PC MARC gym for a 1 hour yoga session. Then of course it’s time for afternoon tea. In the evening we catch the bus to the FREE – love that word – concert at Deer Valley. Perfect end to a perfect day.

Thursday – very hot and sunny again.

 

Wendy on picnic at Deer Valley concert, complete with coke bottle and a potent slug of Bacardi already in it.

Wendy on picnic at Deer Valley concert, complete with coke bottle and a potent slug of Bacardi already in it.

Wendy’s doing her Florence Nightingale stint.

I’m off on a mountain bike ride around Round Valley. Then it’s a coffee and breather stop in the hospital restaurant, followed by another ride. On tarmac this time. Finally down to the NAC for my archery volunteers duty. It’s all a bit shambolic. Most of the kids are not physically disabled but just have mental health issues (is that a PC correct term – who knows these days). Tuition seems to be minimal, just let them shoot arrows and enjoy.

Yoga class at local gym with  soothing mountain views.

Yoga class at local gym with soothing mountain views.

I spot one youngster who’s not even loading his arrows correctly. Most are flying off in all directions. Help put him right. Their targets are pretty shot up and yet the backside of their targets are still ok. Suggest they get some paint to paint and use the back of the targets.

Next week I’m promoted to instructor.

Now I know it’s a thing in the American psyche that they all seem to think the current president is a total numbskull, no matter what their political allegiance and even if they voted for him. Usually you’re made aware of this within the average ski lift ride of meeting them for the first time – 10 minutes. Today however sets an all time record.

I'm That hungry I'll eat anything, even these crisps.

I’m That hungry I’ll eat anything, even these crisps.

Stranger lady “Where about’s are you from?”.

Me “England”.

Strange lady “Oh the problem with you English is you all think Obamas marvellous, YET HE’S RUINING THIS COUNTRY”.

An all time record just 10 seconds. Just the second sentence. She’s never met me before and a rip roaring tourette tirade about that nasty Mr Obama proceeds. I decide not to stoke the raging torrent by mentioning how pleased I am to see Obama care, how good I thought his State of the Union address was (if he only delivers 25% it’ll be marvellous) and how good our National Health service is.

Now at risk of loosing any chance of a green card; of the NSA passing my details onto the NRA; deportation; the NRA getting a petition up for my deportation I have included some Piers Morgan Youtubes.

The first is Piers Morgan Debate with Alex Jones on Gun Laws, 2nd Amendment and his petition for the deportation of Piers Morgan.

If ever there was an argument for a total gun ban, it’s allowing people like this fruitcake to have a water pistol never mind a gun – he has 55. Utter claptrap. Non stop tangential random drivel. Oh and just for good measure he also believes the Bush administration was in a conspiracy behind 9/11.

Alex Jones then goes on his radio programme – yes he has a popular radio chat show (really worrying) – to claim he was to be KILLED after the interview.

Piers Morgan’s goodbye video. Yes the NRA finally get shut of him.

As the 2nd’s so sacrosanct to the “American Psyche” I’ve come up with some possible solutions:

1st – scratch / rub out the letter “e” in the original document and change “bear arms” to “bare arms”.

God bless the 2nd. I keep tooled up with this little gem in my purse to protect me from rapists and muggers

God bless the 2nd. I keep tooled up with this little gem in my purse to protect me from rapists and muggers

2nd – a 28th Amendment prohibition of sale of ammunition to the public. Simples. Gun owners could have strict access to ammunition at a regulated firing range and could continue to oil and polish their guns each week. They could continue with their concealed weapons permits and in the event of an attack throw their gun at the attacker.

Mirror Lake in the Unitas.

Mirror Lake in the Unitas.

3rd – just add 5 words to the 2nd amendment as suggested by John Paul Stevens – served as an associate justice of the Supreme Court from 1975 to 2010. “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms when serving in the Militia shall not be infringed.”

My question to supporters of the 2nd is this “Is the freedom under the 2nd amendment worth the death of you or one of your children?”.

Friday – very hot and sunny again.

 

Yet another cracking day living the dream. Up early and out at 10 with Carol, Hal, Marie (Carols sister) and Eric, and of course Angela. I’m DSC04766driving Hals off the road Toyota beast, may come in hand for the Unita’s. Carol, Marie and Eric are in the car with little miss chatter box.

Drive to Mirror Lake for a picnic and leisurely stroll around the lake.

Great day out. Good food and company. Awesome scenery.

Then we’re back in and have a 20 minute quick change act as we get ready to go to the Deer Valley open air concert. Never a dull moment.

Ever wonder whats in store for us from the bearded ones and the so called religion of peace? Well wake up and smell the coffee, this is where we’re headed if we don’t start to get a grip of the multicultural PC lunacy that pervades our country. People need to stand up and speak out.

A woman accused of adultery was stoned to death in first the “execution” of its kind by the Islamic State, human rights campaigners said
Cannons ready for 1812.

Cannons ready for 1812.

yesterday.

The Islamic State running Mosul had already demanded that those Christians still in the city convert, pay a special tax or leave but messages blaring on mosques’ loudspeakers appeared to spark an exodus. An earlier statement by Mosul’s new rulers had said there would be “nothing for them but the sword” if Christians did not abide by those conditions before noon today.

Mirror Lake in the Unitas.

Mirror Lake in the Unitas.

Thankfully we’re not in Blackburn, as I imagine the cacophony from the minarets as the so called “peaceful / moderate” muslims are shouting out in disgust and anger at this will be ear shattering.

The independent inquiry into the Trojan Horse take over of Birmingham schools came up with 21 recommendations for the council, it added: “It has been exacerbated by a culture of not wanting to address difficult issues and problems with school governance where there is a risk that BCC [Birmingham council] may be accused of being racist or Islamophobic.”

 

These are not difficult issues. It is simple. This is England. We are a tolerant society and respect different religions. But if you live here you do things our way, according to laws and norms of our country. Bugger so called islamaphobia and accusations of racism from the religion of permanent offence. Multiculturalism has failed. Stop bending over backwards to become such dhimmis. Give an inch to this so called religion of peace and they’ll have sharia law before you can say “peace be upon you”.

Saturday – very hot and sunny again.

 

I'm hungry. Gimee.

I’m hungry. Gimee.

Another Saturday rolls around. Another day smiling and being helpful on the mountain. I’m truly worried that all this being nice to people may seriously affect my long term psyche and ruin any chance I have of the Victor Meldrew award. Certainly won’t enhance my image or my rants and raves. Although I have to be honest there are the times when you really feel like letting rip, as some of these people seem to have fallen out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. You seriously worry about pollution of the gene pool. It’s just an exercise in being professional. Think of the ski pass. Today was a good day no real howlers.

One thing I did notice yesterday, much to my surprise. Here we are in the land of guns and bubble gum. Yet, there’s hardly any gum on the plaza floor. Unlike Blackburn where you need crampons and climbing gear to surmount the mountains of chewing gum. Well done America.

Another lake in the Unitas.

Another lake in the Unitas.

Now here’s another surprise. After many years as a chair of governor in a CofE school, with predominantly muslim children, I can relate to this as our dhimmi PC multicultural CofE fell over themselves to give the religion of peace, harmony, understanding and tolerance an inch – “If the camel once gets his nose in the tent, his body will soon follow.” – and before you could say “praise be to allah” they’ll have stonings in the school playground.

A report into the ‘Trojan Horse’ plot by radical Muslims to infiltrate schools in Birmingham has found hardline governors bullied head teachers out of schools and imposed their own agenda.

The report commissioned by Birmingham City Council was highly critical of the council, which it said not only ignored the problem but made it worse by helping to remove besieged heads rather than support them.

Here we go again more lunacy from Europe, sadly they don’t have the brains of a biology specimen. Keep piling it on, it will just help make the results of the in / out vote so much more certain.

Excessively fat staff may have to be provided with larger office seats, lifts and priority parking by their employer after a European ruling yesterday that they have a disability that must be accommodated in the workplace. No doubt this will weigh heavily on the minds of employers as the morbidly obese employees (AKA Blobbies) will now be classified as disabled and have protection under the Equality Act 2010, so that their bosses cannot treat them less favourably because of their weight. Reasonable adjustments would have to be made to the workplace to accommodate such employees.

Hey what a great idea, encourage obesity. Give them all a disabled sticker and free sticky buns on the NHS. Stop them having to walk too far and stand any chance of exercise. I can’t wait to see a 25 stone air stewardess flub-erring down the isles, with her excess adipose tissue oozing from row to row and knocking your drinks over. Does this also mean that airlines will have to allocate them 2, 3 or even 4 seats at no extra cost?

Just love this:

20140706 – One more off the bucket list; Summer is as good as winter; Living the dream.

Sunday – hot (86F) and sunny.

 

I hope this string doesn't snap.

I hope this string doesn’t snap.

I’m on duty as a mountain host for the day. Smile stapled into place and ready for the onslaught of inane questions. Wendy’s off to the Outlet stores shopping. It’s what women do best. Too hot. Our home has no air conditioning just big patio doors to open downstairs and upstairs and ceiling fans. It’s even too hot to sit out on the deck and no way do we fancy a jacuzzi in this weather. Day on the mountain goes pretty quick. With a very relaxed team of hosts. Everyone just gets on with the job.

An overwhelming majority of the public now believes that people must speak English to be considered “truly British”, a national survey has found. 95 per cent now believe that speaking English is essential to being a member of the United Kingdom, compared with 86 per cent a decade ago. Seems like common sense to me, but our loony liberal PC storm troopers aren’t too keen on common sense. Heaven forbid immigrants should have to learn English. It always amazed me how many even 2nd or 3rd generation immigrants families never spoke English in the home and expected schools to provide extra resource to teach them. Pots for rags.

 

If I wake up in a morning and my elbows aren’t touching wood (meaning coffin)… it’s a good day!

 

George Carlin on Religion, great comedian just love his rants. Well worth watching. Hilarious:

 

Monday – hot and sunny again.

 
Up and out for 09:00 as we hike up Crescent Mountain Grade. Must have crossed nearly every ski run on the mountain. Wendy’s a whinging, weary, wilted, walker by the end of it. 86F out there even though we were up and out so early. Well done Wendy you made despite all the protestations.

Being as poor as squirrels with no nuts, we have no car – so un-American. I’m sat in the shade while Wendy does a weekly shop, then we have to haul it all back home on foot and on the bus.

Wendy tackles Crescent Mountain Grade (CMG).

Wendy tackles Crescent Mountain Grade (CMG).

Reminds us of how life used to be when we were kids with no cars, just them things on the end of our legs and a bus. Not even a bike. Crotch droppings these days, and I include my kids in this, just haven’t a clue. We remember frost on the windows in the mornings, that was even on the inside of the single glazed windows; no fire lit, so freezing cold until someone lit one; hardly any milk, so tea on me cornflakes; sugar buttes, and if you were really wealthy bread and jam to fill up with; outside toilet; tin bath on Friday night and kids were last in the cold murky waters. No skiing holidays, no cruises, no summer holidays. If you were really lucky you got a day out on the train to Skeggy as my Dad worked on the railways so we got a free ticket. No colour TV, no 3D TV. Just no TV. But worst of all no computers or Internet. We’ve never had it so good.

Need a proper beer, so that rules out any of these American pinkel waters. 2 Pilsner Urquell sat in the fridge just begging to be opened. Only 48 minutes and 12 seconds before they’ll be sliding down the side of a beer barrel, not a posy flower vase.

But hang on how can you have an Oktoberfest in with no beer? Ask the Mormons they seem to know how. Isn’t his a blatant infringement of the 1st Amendment – Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion….”.

My winter office. Closed in the summer.

My winter office. Closed in the summer.


 
Religion strikes again.

Tuesday – very hot and sunny again.

 
Up at the crack o sparrows to avoid the heat. Mind you some technogeek, he shall remain nameless, set the 06:00 alarm.

Things are looking up, even managed Cammy’s trail without needing shoe leather. Then spent 30 minutes discussing US politics with Dick, a staunch Obama supporter, here in the midst of this extreme right wing Republican Utah. Mind you Park City is a little ungodly, enclave of Democrats – a real Sodom and Gomorrah.

Where's the snow?

Where’s the snow?

Worth an early start, not too hot.

Park City makes it even easier with more alcoholic beverage businesses per capita than any other place in the state. So whether you’re looking for a local brew or just a glass of wine, you won’t be left high and dry.

 
What a veritable cornucopia of birds on our deck, mind you they do eat more bird food a day than we can afford. Sadly these two geriatrics forgot their binoculars so we don’t get to identify them all.

Isn't nature awesome> Just look at the beauty and symmetry.

Isn’t nature awesome> Just look at the beauty and symmetry.

Wendy and I cycle down – the key word there being down – to Kimball junction for a spot of shopping. But first a Starbucks moment to help me gird me loins and a psychoactive stimulant to ease the pain.

Finally decide to lash out and buy some Camelbaks for our walks, mountain biking. There big on “hydration packs” over here nearly as obsessive as “Gluten free”.
 

I see that the religion of permanent offence has been at it again because of another film / cartoon. Like most of these efforts they’re certainly not Oscar material but in the interest of improving the threshold of tolerance of this pernicious religion I’ve posted details of where it can be viewed.

Aisha and Muhammad

The Dramatic Life of a Little Child Married to the Prophet of Islam

As announced in an earlier press release, the movie, “Aisha and Muhammad”, has been released on schedule.

The release has been coincided with the US Independence Day on July 4 as a mark of respect to the American victims in the battle against Radical Islam.

The full movie in English can be viewed online from the following website links:

http://www.islam-watch.org/video.html

 

  Sometimes I pretend to be

 

NORMAL

 

But it gets boring……

 

So I go back to being me.

 

Wednesday – hot and sunny then at teatime we get a downpour.

 
I’m up and out for 09:00. Well made it up Town lift side, Sweeneys switchbacks and Johns trail. Feel like a drowned water rat by the time I get to the top of Payday lift. It’s so humid you could beat the water out of the air with a boat paddle. I think I’ve lost 8 pints of sweat. Thankfully my new Camelbak helps is pretty good. Good job Wendy didn’t come, the earache would have been too painful. At several points it was just an uphill scramble – think I may have been lost.

A well deserved swig of water at the top of Crescent Mine Grade. A tad too hot for Wendy.

A well deserved swig of water at the top of Crescent Mine Grade. A tad too hot for Wendy.

Can now advise guests on Townlift hikes. “Don’t bother. If you must do it, go down.”

After lunch get myself a locals $70 point ticket for the PC MARC gym or any classes. 10 points, so just $7 per class or gym access. Go to a Yoga class. Can’t believe I survive an hours yoga and not a drop of sweat on my brow. Now that means I’m either getting fitter – mind you I am at my lowest weight today in living memory, not that impressive when you consider I can’t remember what I had for breakfast – or after this mornings hike there’s just no sweat left in me.

Then the heavens open up. Raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock and then hailstones. In typical American fashion even the raindrops are bigger and better. Wendy’s gone shopping but miraculously she misses a drenching. This is the first serious rain we’ve seen since we got here. Please tell me this doesn’t mean we’ll be seeing a perambulating, inverted, black bin liner next. Mind you the thought of one hiking, mountain biking, snowboarding or better still skiing does stretch the imagination.

I get perplexed that so many people get upset and rile against another mosque being built, or an old pub being converted into an islamic community centre. I think, in true PC multicultural loony liberal fashion, the mosque or community centre should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance. That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, “The Turban Cowboy,” and the other a topless bar called “You Mecca Me Hot.” Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs.” Across the street there could be a lingerie store called ” Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret,” with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods. Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, “Koranal Knowledge,” its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called “Morehammered.” All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others.

 

Yes, we should promote tolerance, and if you are not laughing or smiling at this point… It is either past your bedtime, or it’s midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed!!!!

 

What is it with this American obsession with everything being gluten free. It’s every where and everything. I’ve written to the local water board, various wine growers and brewers  asking them to confirm their products are gluten free. Now I worry whether my petrol should also be gluten free, will it harm my engine.

A cynic – not me of course – make think it’s just a marketing ploy to exploit and rip off the gullable, thick, health freaky obsessives. Are you surprised that gluten free is always considerably more expensive.

But the facts prove it’s just another rip off fad, with a NORMAL loaf of bread costing £1, while gluten free costs £3.

Bear in mind that less than 1% of the population are coeliac. While many are convinced that – coeliac or not – avoiding gluten will make them healthier, a study published last year in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics disagrees. It concluded: “There is no evidence to suggest following a gluten-free diet has any significant benefits in the general population.” “Indeed,” it continued, “there is some evidence to suggest that a gluten-free diet may adversely affect gut health in those without coeliac disease or gluten sensitivity.” Other research has indicated that gluten-free diets are often low in fibre and can be linked to deficiencies in B vitamins, iron and folate. Inevitably, in the US, a gluten-free backlash is already under way. “Coeliac: the Trendy Disease for Rich, White People”, is a typical recent headline in the popular blog, Science 2.0.

Unfortunately, the gluten-free community has even less tolerance for jokes than for pasta. Thankfully I can continue to eat macaroni pudding with impunity and at minimal cost, thats if I can persuade her indoors to cook it.

People often wonder why I’m keen on baked beans followed by macaroni pudding. Well when I was at “bilateral” school – best not to ask. I always went to my Grandmas for lunch – well not being posh we called it dinner. Every day she’d serve me baked beans, with a nob of butter of course, cooked until dry (anything less than 15 minutes and they’re raw). Followed by a macaroni pudding, also cooked to perfection – until dry and curling at the edges. Every day for four years. Then one day I asked “Grandma, do you think we could have a change of menu”? That was it, never got me baked beans or macaroni pudding ever again. What a deprived, or was it depraved, childhood.
 

Thursday – warm and downpour late afternoon.

 

Hmm... lets see this cakes for two. So why do we have a 35% fatty rate?

Hmm… lets see this cakes for two. So why do we have a 35% fatty rate?

Lazy morning for me. Wendy’s off to be Florence Nightingale. Lunch time I go for a MTB ride and then call in at the hospital for a complimentary coffee and read of the paper in their comfortable lounge area. Good to people watch all the Florences in their lime green blouses scurrying around and spending most of their time chattering away like Mocking birds on LSD.
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Then in the afternoon I’m doing training for my Robin Hood archery (a Nottingham lad) stint at the National Ability Center. Amazing place for the disabled and when you see what they achieve it’s quite right they use the word “ability”.

Bike home and get caught in a real downpour. Fortunately it’s very warm so it doesn’t really matter. Quite a change as I can’t remember the last time I got really soaked right through.

In the evening we’re off out to dinner at Tricy and Rivers (possible home exchangers). They live up in Deer (aptly named) valley. They have an awesome 5,000 square foot home. Only the FSM can guess at what or why you need 5,000 square feet. Good meal, good company, good conversation and good beer. They have 4 other guests for dinner so it’s lively conversation all round. One of the guys brews his own beer and brings a load of samples. They’re very good, not a bit like the home brews I last tasted. Have a very interesting conversation with him and get to sample an excellent Kolsch and a Pilsner, none of your typical American pinkle water.

National Ability Center archery range.

National Ability Center archery range.

Only in America.

Close by parking spaces at the gym for fuel efficient vehicles. I’ll define fuel efficient – LPG, electric or over 30 MPG (well it is America).

 

Friday – cloudy with rain thunder and lightning in the afternoon.

Angela does archery. Just look at that perfect release.

Angela does archery. Just look at that perfect release.

I’m on mountain host duty and Wendy’s at the hospital. Another easy day with the Friday crew.

In the afternoon the heavens open up and some thunder and lightning, every things shut down while it passes. We get to leave early.

Then it’s off out to dinner yet again. This time with Rick and Lynda, potential home exchangers. They have a lovely home up on Park Meadows. Just love the way American homes tend to be so open plan with kitchen, dinning and lounge all one big contiguous open area. Great evening, awesome food, wine and best of all company. Never ceases to amaze me how friendly and how much home exchangers have in common.

Just test driving a bike for the disabled. Hard work. Managed to crash it when a car tried to reverse into me.

Just test driving a bike for the disabled. Hard work. Managed to crash it when a car tried to reverse into me.

Please tell me the World hasn’t gone mad:

Liverpool confirm Luis Suárez’s £75m move to Barcelona pending medical. Who’s Luis Suarez? He’s a footballer who bit one of his opponents in the World cup. Not only that it’s the 3rd time he’s done it. Barbaric. What did FIFA do about it? A slap on the wrist and a few months ban. Why wasn’t he prosecuted for GBH or assault? These guys are role models for kids. Hey kids if someone upsets you, bite them. Over paid morons. Why wasn’t he banned for life. Instead he’s being transferred and will no doubt receive a big chunk of money. Sounds like some sort of experiment in creative stupidity. But it’s football, what can you expect?

 

Saturday – very hot and sunny.

 

Bump into a lady at the bus stop.

Tony: “That’s a nice dog. What make is it?”IMG_0834

Lady: “Oh it’s a spaniel / poodle cross.”

Tony: “We had a spaniel but it only had half a brain. Does he have a full brain?”

Lady: “I don’t know we adopted it!”

Owner obviously is the one with a half of a brain.
 
On duty as mountain hosts yet again. So hot just try to avoid the sun all day.
 
Then we’re off to the hospital staff party. Free food and entertainment at the National ability centre for all hospital staff, volunteers and their families.
 
They’ve a climbing wall, ropes course, archery and disabled bikes – well you know what I mean – for you to try.
 
I’m totally freaked out by heights.
 
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Don’t you just love the American obsession with food. They walk up with a giant burger, just drooling fat, calories and cholesterol, and are then distraught when they can’t get 52 ounce diet coke. Oh well have to make do with a normal coke. How can anyone drink 52 ounces of sugar or even saccharin?

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That's better. Just 3 feet to go.

That’s better. Just 3 feet to go!

What a great opportunity to try all these facilities. Will I try the climbs again now it’s off my bucket list? Who knows. I will still be petrified but I suppose familiarity will help overcome this fear.

Let’s not forget however that all these facilities at the NAC are in the main for the disabled. Yes, they get people with disabilities up to these heights and even have a shaky wooden bridge over 50 feet up that you can go across in a wheelchair. Can you imagine the sense of achievement these kids, and adults, must feel.

20140629 – Appointment with fear; July the Fourth Parade

Sunday – hot and sunny.

Need a rest after 10 minutes biking.

Lazy morning. Bike ride up to the Silly Market. Well for some of us it was a bike ride, others stopped and rested after 10 minutes. Coffee at the Bridge Cafe.

Carol, Hal and of course Angela came round for dinner. Out on the deck I might add.

Hostess / Meeters and Greeters – for some reason nearly all restaurants / cafes / diners have these hostess / meeter greeters, from here on in they will be called wasters (1)

You arrive. The place is virtually empty and over in the far corner, chatting to her mates about last nights sexual exploits, is the waster. Finally, when a long queue has developed, she saunters over at the speed of an arthritic snail and asks the two of you for “how many”.

If the place is 90% empty she summons a navigator (2), whose sole responsibility seems to be

Wot no snow. Ski runs from Mid Mountain trail.

getting you to your table without getting lost or the need for a GPS system. If the place is over 10% full then tough luck, she puts your name on a waiting list, tells you it’ll be about 30 minutes before a table is ready and she’ll call you or gives you a vibrator – not the sort you’re thinking of. Just a power trip. They tell you it’s so that you’re not kept waiting for a waiter to attend. That’s why, after you’ve sat down, it takes 20 minutes for the waiter – who’s an advance degree in eye contact avoidance – to notice you or even the white table cloth you’ve been waving above your head for the past 10 minutes.

 

Wendy on Mid Mountain.

The Navigator finally takes you over to the table and tells you the name of the waitress she was chatting to – who will of course be with you shortly. The navigator’s not allowed, intellectually capable or trained to give you a menu, take your drinks order or even pour out water.

The job creation scheme and Ford breakdown of tasks doesn’t stop there. It’s only just begun. You sit down and the water boy (3) comes around and poors you a glass of water. Can he bring you a menu or take a drinks order? Heaven forbid way beyond his pay / intellect grade.

Finally just as you’re ready to up stakes in disgust the waiter (4) deigns to grace you with her presence. Tells you her name and goes away to get menus. By now you’re as thirsty and dry as a dead dingo’s donger. But, no she’ll have to come back for your drinks order, keep it simple. Don’t

Wendy stops again. This time for a snack.

confuse her. Don’t upset the order of things.

Waiter finally comes back and takes your drinks order. Drinks takes so long you’re sure she’s pressing the grapes herself. Now she’s ready to take your order, whether you’re ready or not. Woe betide you if you’re not ready, that incurs a 20 minute wait penalty.

Eventually you get fed. At which point you notice you’re the only people in the restaurant with the physical dexterity to use both a knife and fork simultaneously.

 

Yellow bandana's around their dogs neck to warn people the dog is Grumpy and not to approach......for some reason I'm given one!

Waitress usually pops around when you’re on your last mouthful to see if everything is ok, at which point she starts to be nice to you in anticipation of the tip she’s expecting.

When you’ve finished and put your knife and fork together the manager / quality control guy (5) turns up. You can tell he’s a manager as he struts around complete with Brookes Brothers shirt, button down collar and tie, along with a name badge. “How’s the meal?”. When you tell him that you feel the chef either works for the local crematorium in his spare time; may be an eskimo used to freezing his food; or just lacks imagination, this causes him to go into a catatonic state and disappear in a puff of smoke. Confrontation’s way above his pay grade and you’re certainly not meant to raise constructive criticism.

Appointment with fear.

 

Finally the waitress has learned to smile, turns up with your bill and engages you in such inane pleasantries you have a dying urge to stick two fingers down the back of your throat and vomit over the tablecloth.

Just as you leave you realise there’s yet another involved. Yes , its the buzz boy (6) who tidies the table and wipes it with a 10 year old rag that just oozes salmonella. Usually the same cloth that he wiped the sweaty seats with.

Finally you get directed over to the cashier (7), the final player, in this pageant.

7 different people to serve you a meal. Heaven alone knows how many there must be in the kitchen. Surely they could manage without the Meeter and greeter, the navigator, the water boy, the buzz boy, the manager and the cashier. If they doubt it then I can take you to a pleasant, busy restaurant in Serfaus, Austria where just one waitress does the lot, with minimum fuss or delays.

 

Two Bi-planes fly past on Independence day.

Then of course there’s “maximize table utilisation” rules this is a real killer. You arrive the place is full of tables ready set for 4 or more. There all empty, but there are just two tables set for two and they are full. Heaven forbid she should waste a table for 4 on us two, no she puts you on a waiting list, about 30 minutes – followed by a few choice words from me and a swift exit.

In case you think I’ve been a tad sexist in the above – as I’m sure you’ll realise not at all like me – I have never encountered a male waster, they’re all female and usually the best piece of eye candy in the place.

4th July parade - Park City Mountain Resort float.

 

Best solution is to ignore them and plonk yourselves down at a table of your choosing. That cause real consternation.

Monday – hotter and sunny.

Took Crescent up to the top (free) and then walked Mid Mountain to Spiro and then down Spiro. Lovely walk nearly all downhill. Made it, even with all the rest stops that Wendy wanted. Actually took 2 hours 40 minutes. Pleasant downhill stroll. The thought of a Stiegl lager at the Silver Star cafe kept me motivated, sadly no longer available – standards are slipping.

Pleasant, but very expensive, lunch / coffee lounging in the Silver Star sofas.

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

4th July - Uncle Sam.

Lazy morning.

Wendy managed to break her filling, probably nattering too much.

Took a bike ride down to Kimble junction.

Well that was painless…..visit to the Dentist here in Park City. What an experience just turn up no appointment necessary ….sorted filling done.

In case you think this American job creation scheme is just reserved for restaurants and Henry Fords car plants. Think again. Wendy’s just been for a filling at the dentist here. This involved

4th July parade - National Ability Centre float.

nearly as many in a cast of a B grade blue movie. 1 Receptionist to greet us. 2 Man with clip board to get our details and of course a signature on an all American liability waiver. 3 Nurse / technician type guy who checked out tooth and told us the options. 4 An injectioner / number. 5 X Ray girl to take an X ray, immediately available. 6 Dental nurse to usher in the Dentist, no fanfare of trumpets sounded. 7 Then finally the dentist, sorry, “the doctor”. 8 Different receptionist prepared the all important bill, by which time the cost of treatment had fallen from $330 to $125, no complaint from me there. 8 people to do one filling. Tell me that’s no the Ford principle and job creation gone to extremes.

 

4th July parade - local fuzz with their noisy bikes. Need earplugs. Should be prosecuted for creating such a racquet.

European Court of Human Rights rule that Burka ban does not breach human rights. One small step for common sense. At last the European court gets something right. Now all we need is some politicians in the big natter house to grow some gonads and introduce a ban in the UK.

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

Try fitting my emergency bike pump. The plastic, yes bloody plastic, screw shears off in the bike thereby rendering it impossible to fit the pump and refit my water carrier.

Ride down to Walmart, expecting a battle about consequential loss due to their feeble screws. At one stage they’re thinking of giving me a new bike. But no the supervisors hands me over to one

4th July parade.

of their sub-contractors – they assemble barbecues and bikes for them – who has all the tools and proceeds to drill out the plastic and rethread the hole. A bit of a botch but all fixed and working. Impressed with their customer service and especially the unstinting help from Brendon.

Hard ride back home so at least I get a 12 mile ride in.

After lunch we’re looking after Angela for a few hours so we take her down to the Farmers market. Mind you she’d prefer to play on the iPad. It’s quite a pathetic market and hardly any farm produce apart from a few withered cherries. Angela spends most of her time on the giant slide and eating an Ice Cone – keeps her happy for ages.

Then can you believe it I break one of my teeth. It’s my turn for an appointment with fear. Is this some sort of conspiracy from PC dentists to drum up trade? Is it the altitude exploding my sea level fillings? Yesterday it was Wendy with a broken tooth, today it’s me. I’m expecting a bulk buying discount.

Opening of 4th July parade.

Same walk in service and multitude. Have my usual discussion about no needle. They’re somewhat put out by this and can’t believe it, but proceed without. No pain. Good job, sorted.

Apparently a black bear has been seen wandering around town. Excitement. I never can remember if you’re best playing dead if you see a black bear or is it with a grizzly. One of them eats carrion, the other prefers fresh meat, so get it wrong and playing dead is a sure fired way to end up real dead.

Apparently the fundamentalist extremists from the so called religion of peace are working on new plastic explosives that cannot be detected so more misery is being inflicted at airports. 

Perhaps at last some vestige of common sense may now prevail and the authorities will profile. You know it makes sense. Just ignore the loony Politically correct brigade.

A good start would be a separate queue and search regime for all muslims or just ban them from flying. Perhaps then the so called middle of the road / good Muslims might start helping with the fight against these pernicious fanatics. Another alternative might be muslim only flights. A tad difficult to implement but we could also allow all the do gooder, loony PC crackpots on with them.

Thursday – hot, sun and cloud.

I’m on duty as a mountain host for the day. Expect it to be busy but turns out pretty slack. Wendy’s up at the hospital doing her Florence Nightingale

4th July parade.

stint.

Finally finish Dexter Season 4 – wow didn’t see that coming. Series gets better.

Just watched an awesome programme on the discovery of a particle travelling faster than speed of light. Defies all the theories of physics for the past 100 years. If it’s finally validated, that’ll throw the whole World of Physics into an electron spin. Amazing stuff.

Physics joke:

Barman says sorry we don’t serve neutrinos.
A neutrino walks into the bar.

Meanwhile a few people have told us the “Book of Mormon” musical is great and could win Oscar awards for “Best Blasphemy Show”. Sadly I do have an aversion to musicals. Will enquire if it’s on in salt lake 😎

 

4th July parade.

Actually I’m thinking of writing a musical. Can’t decide on the tittle. Choices so far are “Book of Islam”, “Mo does Christians”, “Peace, tolerance and understanding”, “The Hate Show” or “How I hate people of the book”. There’s more scope in this 7th century barbaric religion for a musical comedy, than there are muslims at a stoning. Perhaps we could get the Monty Python Team to do one last movie such as “Monty Python and Muslim Fairy Tales”. Islam needs desensitising and weaning off this blasphemy culture.

Friday – very hot and sunny.

Great day for the 4th July parade. We always enjoy them and PC has quite a big one, lasts over an hour.

Meet some potential home exchangers (Rick and Linda) up on Main Street for the parade.

4th July parade

They’ve got chairs already set up along with a cooler full of drinks and Mimosas (bucks fizz). Great parade with good company and their friends.

How come Americans are so friendly? Why don’t we have any parades like this? I can’t ever recall seeing parade anywhere near as good as this in the UK. What days do we really celebrate? The Americans just love a good parade, St Patricks day; Independence day; Pioneer day; Labour day; Thanksgiving day etc. Whatever happened to our society? I blame multi-culturism, we’ve lost the ability to be patriotic. Has anyone noticed how few Union Jacks (Union Flags for the purists) you see flying. In fact it’s almost got to the point where if you see a Union Jack or the Cross of St George flying you think they’re National front / right wing fanatics. Sad.

Have a wander down to the park where there’s live music, food and drinks. Everyone, families, having a great time.

Then stroll up to PCMR plaza to see what’s going on at the mountain. Not as busy as anticipated.

4th July parade.

I think it’s about time the UK had it’s declaration of independence from the EU. Pity we can’t bring back Adams and Jefferson from 1776 to help us escape this toxic bureaucracy.

Saturday – hot and sunny again.

We’re both on duty at PCMR as Mountain Hosts again. Stapled me smile in place. Tape recorder at the ready with “Hows it going?”, “Have a great day.”, “Do you need any help?”, “My accent! Its all the way from England.” and if things get really desperate “No I don’t know your friend who lives somewhere in England, believe it or not over the years we’ve been at it like rabbits over there and there’s over 50 million of us, not to mention the millions of foreign hangers on and scroungers.”.

It was 85F and that was in the shade. Us poor Hosts are out on the plaza wilting.

Seems like at least one muslim inman has some common sense:

4th July live music in the park, along with hot dogs, burgers, pulled pork and beer (well sort of).

Dr Hargey, from the Muslim Educational Centre of Oxford, said however that the British establishment had been hoodwinked by zealots who claimed that the burka was intrinsic to Islam. He writes: “There is no Koranic mandate for female facial masks; it is not culturally common for Pakistani women to conceal their faces; and no one, including women, has an unqualified right to dress as one pleases in public.”

He condemns the veil as an imported Saudi fad that should be rejected for religious, social, sexist, security and health reasons. “This Saudi-financed campaign is just another salvo in the battle for the hearts and minds of British Muslims. If Britain’s liberal and human rights industry fail to recognise this, we will all live to regret it.”

Yes our loony PC do gooders have been fooled and sold us down the caliphate path of islamic domination yet again.