Monthly Archives: September 2017

20170916 – D-Day Beaches; Islam Question For The Day

Saturday – clouds, wind and rain.

Our caravan pitch.

Another blustery day, with April showers in a time warp.

Have a stroll into town to the local butchers and the sewage farm – supermarket with that Dior fragrance of eau de sewage.

We manage to escape a downpour that would do even America credit. There and back and not a drop on us.

For the evening we binge out on Suits and I’m on the wagon – hard work.

Overnight we have the joys of downpours playing a drum tattoo on our roof.
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This is a new section in my blog. I’m sick as a a parrot listening to our bed wetting PC politicians saying “that these violent terrorist attacks are nothing to do with Islam”. They’re in denial. Islamic fundamentalists are at war with the West. There is a serious problem and we need action not platitudes, candle lit vigils, flowers or other fine words.

Pointing out some of the hateful aspects of the teachings and issues with the Quran is not the same thing as hating Muslims. In any civilised debate, it should be possible to critique an ideology without immediately being accused of nursing a burning hatred towards those who hold to that ideology. Ideas and people are separate things. What follows should, therefore, be read as an indictment of the teachings of orthodox Islam and should certainly not be seen as an expression of ill will towards individual Muslims.

How Can A God, A Supreme Being, Change His Mind?

Wendy in Cherbourg.

The Quran is alleged to be the unadulterated word of Allah, a god, a supreme being and yet it contains contradictions and even paragraphs that support the idea of such contradictions. The doctrine of abrogation maintains that what comes later in the Quran supersedes anything earlier.

Here we have a supposed supreme being, all wise, all knowing, who can see the future and yet he changes his mind. Doesn’t sound like a supreme being to me rather like a women changing what to wear on a bad hair day. How can the Quran have any credibility.

Here are the actual Quranic verses that reference abrogation. All quotes are from Dawood’s English Translation of the Quran.[7]
2:106: “If We abrogate a verse or cause it to be forgotten, We will replace it by a better one or one similar….”
13:39: “God abrogates and confirms what He pleases. His is the Decree Eternal.”
17:86: “If We pleased We could take away that which We have revealed to you:..”
16:101 “When We change one verse for another (God knows best what He reveals), they say: “You are an impostor….”

In an attempt to polish Islam’s image, Muslim activists usually quote verses from the Quran that were written in the early days of the Islamic movement while Mohammed lived in Mecca. Those passages make Islam appear loving and harmless because they call for love, peace and patience. Such is a deception. The activists fail to tell gullible apologists that such verses, though still in the Quran, were nullified, abrogated, rendered void by later passages that incite killing, decapitations, maiming, terrorism and religious intolerance. The latter verses were penned while Mohammed’s headquarters was based in Medina. In deed some of these later verses seem to magically come down from Allah in time to justify Mohamed’s sexual and other selfish earthly needs.

Sunday – warm and sunny.

Cherbourg harbour.

Drive up to Cherbourg for a stroll around the harbour and to explore. I’m convinced we’ve been there before, but none of it seems familiar and as it’s at the end of a peninsular it seems an unlikely place for us to have visited. Have a pleasant stroll down the harbour and then coffee in the Place de Big Nosed Chauvinist – Charles de Gaulle. Lovely sat out in the sun enjoying a free pop band and people watching. It seems it’s some kind of French / British together celebration – don’t worry they’ll still try and stuff us over BREXIT. There’s French flags and the Union flag flying everywhere. Better restrain my comments.

A pleasant day and not a drop of rain on us.

More Suits in the evening topped off with a lovely bottle of St Estephe. Mind you I can see a major marital bust up if Wendy continues to try drinking MY wine. Really worrying if she like a St Estephe and doesn’t just spit it out as vinegar. I think it’s all down to her having read an article saying red wine is good for you, that’s bought the hypochondriac out in her.

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Driving around Normandy makes you appreciate the sacrifices made during the D-Day Landings, some of those brave men, having made the supreme sacrifice with their lives. Oh so many of them were so young. Thank you.

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Cherbourg – Place de Big Nose.

Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
A: He was declared to be in Seine.

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the French beauty contest?
A: Me neither.

Q: What do you call an Frenchman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.

Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.

Q: Where can you find 60,100,000 French jokes?
A: In France.

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Clausius Clapeyron equation – I’m sure everyone’s fascinated.

Well given the amount of rain we’ve suffered and Noah’s arc making a second coming, I thought I’d look at some of the climate change issues – yes I’m fully aware that Trump and most republicans are in denial, but there again most of them are in denial about the THEORY of Natural Selection. After all they’re both only theories.

Well it turns out that using the Clausius-Clapeyron equation, scientists have established that for every degree the world’s average sea surface temperature rises, the atmosphere’s water content should rise by 7 per cent.

Sea surface temperature graph. Nerdy.

Given this raise – see graph of Average Global Sea Surface Temperature, 1880–2015 – could this have anything to do with our crap weather in France and the ferocious hurricanes?

Monday – cool, sun and cloud.

Decide to move pitch. Existing pitch is like a mud bath trench in the Somme – we’ll be getting trench foot at this rate. To top it all we’ve just found out it doesn’t get any sun after lunch – taken this long as we only really saw the sun yesterday. Fortunately our intended pitch is just across the road and the mover does an excellent job.

Then it’s a lazy day. Most exertion comes from a bike ride around the site. Amazed how big this site is.

Dot, Barrie and puss arrive. They come round for dinner and drinks.
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True Origins of the Qur’an

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A survey was conducted by ICM Research for the Channel 4 documentary, “What British Muslims Really Think,”.

The 615-page survey found that more than 100,000 British Muslims sympathise with suicide bombers and people who commit other terrorist acts. Moreover, only one in three British Muslims (34%) would contact the police if they believed that somebody close to them had become involved with jihadists.

And of course none of them was anything to do with Islam!

In addition, 23% of British Muslims said Islamic Sharia law should replace British law in areas with large Muslim populations.

On social issues, 52% of the Muslims surveyed said they believe homosexuality should be illegal, compared to 22% of non-Muslim Britons. Nearly half believe it is unacceptable for a gay or lesbian to teach their children. At the same time, almost a third (31%) of British Muslims think polygamy should be legalized. Among 18-to-24-year-olds, 35% think it is acceptable to have more than one wife.

Thirty-nine percent of Muslims surveyed believe women should always obey their husbands, compared to 5% for non-Muslims – see it’s not all bad. One in three British Muslims refuse completely to condemn the stoning of women accused of adultery.

The poll also found that a fifth of British Muslims have not entered the home of a non-Muslim in the past year.
Of the British Muslims surveyed, 35% believe Jewish people have too much power in the UK, compared to 8% of non-Muslims.

Tuesday – warm and sunny.

Lazy morning. After lunch Wendy and I, yes we get Wendy out on Dots bike, go for a bike ride. There’s a great dedicated cycle path all the way to Caranten. Proper path not a UK dotted white line version. We don’t make it all the way but have a pleasant hours ride.

In the evening we go round to Dot and Barrie’s for drinks. Barrie’s bought some Calvados for us to try. Interesting brandy, we need to go on our Calvados tasting expedition.
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Southpark put prophet muhammad in a bear suit

Wednesday – warm and sunny.

Omaha Beach

Off out in Barrie’s car to Omaha beach. Try to have a lunch at the beach restaurant but according to this French harridan, with a traditional french face like a slapped arse, it’s Ferme she shouts. There’s bloody typical French gratitude for you. It would help if the tatty cardboard ferme sign wasn’t facing the wall.

Omaha Beach. The FSM only knows what they’re wading along the beach for? Perhaps it’s rusty memorabilia so they can open yet another museum.

Visit an interesting D-Day museum. There’s so many of them. Like mosques in Blackburn they spring up everywhere. Someone finds a rusty cartridge case and they dash out and open up a D-Day museum.

Have a pleasant lunch near the museum. Wholemeal galettes and of course chips. My coffee’s not bad either.

Then we have a drive along the coast and back home. Discover the “Snotty Spoon” cafe, so named as because the waitress, who doesn’t posses a snot rag, proceeds to sneeze into her hand and then continue to lay out the cutlery. Surely this must infringe at least 44 EU health and hygiene standards, but hey ho it’s France so “San Fairy Ann”.

To get a flavour of this area we watch the 1962 film “the Longest Day”. It’s in black and white but worth the watch.
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Omaha beach. Very thought provoking.

Q: Did you hear about the brave Frenchman?
A: Oh you didn’t. Well don’t feel bad no one else has either.

Q: Did you hear about the French Army rifle sold on ebay?
A: The only description under the picture of it was “Nie gefeuert, einmal fallen gelessen” This is German for “never fired, dropped once”

Q: How do you kill a Frenchman?
A: Slam the toilet seat down when he’s getting a drink.

Q: How did the French react to German reunification?
A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the panzers.

Q: What is the French national anthem?
A: We surrender.

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Yet another terrorist attack and what do we get from our supreme leader:

Yes, here she is our gutless PC correct leader.


STEP 1) Feign shock
STEP 2) Express resolve
STEP 3) Say good things about Islam
STEP 4) Pretend that taking in more Muslims
“defeats terrorists” and makes us safer

Thursday – clouds and rain.

Omaha beach museum.

Lazy morning. Fix my wifi router and Barrie discovers that Windows 10 PC can become a mobile hotspot. How neat is that – Apple take note.

Rains forecast but I set out for a bike ride while Wendy and Dot do what women do best – shop. I get abut 20 yards and the forecast rain arrives early. End up reading a book.
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Omaha beach museum.

Just love people watching, especially French, watching. French couple arrive, spend an hour walking around surveying pitches; put their motor home on pitch 5A; move to pitch 4B; move back to 5A; move back to 4B; their auto satellite finder then spends 15 minutes having a dizzy orgasm trying to find a signal to no avail (pretty obvious really as there’s a tree in the way; then drive off in a huff, hopefully never to be seen again. No wonder the EU’s in such a mess if this is the best they can offer in decisive decision making.

Meanwhile me teas still not ready. Time for more wine me thinks. Found a very quaffabke St Emillion. Typical it has to be £9 a bottle. Oh well it’s only the kids inheritance.

Friday – warm and sunny.

Set off with Dot and Barrie to Mont St Michael.

The BMW satnav has a stroke, seems to think it’s a tractor, as it takes us down dirt tracks more suited to a herd of sheep.

Mont St Michael

Get the roof down and enjoy the wind blowing through my hair. Barrie and I are quite warm and comfy, not so sure about those two who’ve been levered into the back seats. Good news is the wind noise drowns out the cacophony from the rear and we hardly know they’re there. Prising Wendy and Dot out the back is a work of art and contortion, just have to break a few bones to get them out.

Really impressed with how well Mont St Michael is organised. Are we still in France? Good parking facilities and a free bus over the causeway. On the Mont it’s teaming with more tourists, in those narrow streets, than muslims at a stoning. Another site ruined by tourist. All very picturesque and quaint and of course plenty of tat shops. Us heathens don’t bother going in the Abbey, seen one church and thats enough for a lifetime. Interesting gold figure at the top of the spire, but I don’t think it’s Maroni of the magic underwear 3rd book of the bible bashers clan.

Mont St Michael.

Try and drive back along the allegedly picturesque coast with the wind whistling through what few follicles we have left. What coast, just looks like distant mud flats, with flatulent brown eye patched cows.

Come across a Calvados barn for a tasting and helpful geezer – obviously not french – explains the different qualities. Splash out on a 6 year old. More fruity and less tannins than the more expensive 15 year old.

The age on the bottle refers to the youngest constituent of the blend. A blend is often composed of old and young calvados. Producers can also use the terms below to refer to the age.
* “Fine”, Trois étoiles ***, and Trois pommes must be at least two years old.
* Vieux or Réserve must be at least three years old.
* “V.O.” “VO”, Vieille Réserve, “V.S.O.P.”, or “VSOP” must be at least four years old.
* “Extra”, “X.O.” “XO”, “Napoléon”, Hors d’Age, or Age Inconnu must be at least six years old, but are often sold much older.
High-quality calvados usually has parts which are much older than that mentioned. Calvados can be made from a single (generally, exceptionally good) year. When this happens, the label often carries that year.

Mont St Michael – entry to merchandising hell.

Calvados can be served as an apéritif, blended in drinks, between meals, as a digestif, or with coffee. Well-made calvados should naturally be reminiscent of apples and pears, balanced with flavours of aging. The less-aged calvados distinguishes itself with its fresh apple and pear aromas. The longer the calvados is aged, the more the taste resembles that of any other aged brandy. As calvados ages, it may become golden or darker brown with orange elements and red mahogany. The nose and palate are delicate with concentration of aged apples and dried apricots balanced with butterscotch, nut, and chocolate aromas.

As a special treat for our back seat drivers we stop at a Lidl they’re both orgasmic about. Only going for a bottle of cheap Baileys, but of course you can’t come away with an empty trolley – it’d be a sin.

Then it’s off to the local restaurant – Hotel Commerce. Certainly not hotel enterprise or customer care, a touch of the Fawlty Towers when it comes to customer service. 17:55 and in typical French fashion we’re told to come back in five minutes. Of course they couldn’t put themselves out for a bit of customer service. Have a beer down the road. Attempt two at 18:40. Ah they’ve deigned to open up by now. Away man, but the restaurant is not ready to serve until 19:00. Hang on it says open at 18:00, “ah but, this is France, and that’s just the bar. Restaurant opens at 19:00”. I’m ready to vote with my feet but my stomach thinks it’s Ramadan, so hunger gets the better of me. Have to say the meal was excellent, great salad buffet, well done rump steak, cheese and bread – no biscuits of course – and coffee Gourmande for dessert with selection of desserts.

Then to finish off the night we call back at ours for some Calvados and cheap imitation Baileys.
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Mont St Michael

Q: What does a frog in Paris eat?
A: French Flies.

Q: What’s the best place to hide your money?
A: Under a Frenchman’s soap.

Q: What do you do if you drive over a Frenchman?
A: Reverse!

Q: Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q: The American military wears combat boots. What does the French military wear?
A: Track shoes.

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How Come A God Cannot Express Himself Clearly?

Continuing on with my previous theme. The Quran is alleged to be the unadulterated word of Allah, a god, a supreme being and yet it contains statements that are unclear, misleading and are being squabbled over by religious scholars and other fruitcakes.

Given that it’s allegedly the word of a god surely questioning it is blasphemy. You’d think that it cannot be beyond the wit of a supreme being to express himself clearly. With messages that can be unequivocally understand for all time. Look at the 10 commandments, they’re pretty clear, unequivocal and have stood the test of time.

Or then there’s the Golden Rule common to most religions – “Whatsoever ye would that other should do to you, do ye even to them”. Try and find something like that in the quran – you’ll be lucky.

20170912 – France; Force 10 Gales; Rain; Rain; And Even More Rain

Tuesday – sun and gale force 10.

Bayeux Tapestry


Budgie smugglers, beret and spare toilet seat packed; Wendy has her under arm razor packed; my “Remember Agincourt” tee shirt ironed and ready; been practising the middle finger gesture for weeks; Megaphone batteries charged up ready for when I have problems making them understand; gas mask ready so we can eat in a “NO SMOKING” French restaurant without getting lung cancer from second hand ciggie smoke; and not forgetting Wendy is taking everything in the kitchen, but thankfully she’s leaving the sink. Will there be any room left for some quality German beers or will I have to suffer drinking E numbers?

No reply yet on my email request to Macron, to remove from Normandy any French who don’t speak English,

Oh the joys of travelling. I’m on the ship / boat trying to listen to the Apple launch event when the driver starts rattling over the tannoy about some dam force 10 gale and apparently we’re still going to make the crossing. Sounds crazy to me. Never mind back to Apple.

Better have a few brandies to get a good nights sleep. As the ship’s driver said we hit quite a few pot holes, but I’m fine as long as I stay lay down in the dark. Then the inevitable happens and me bladder gets the better of me and I have to turn the light on to see where I’m aiming. That does it. I’m then shouting for Hewie and Ruth, but there’s no diced carrots just retching. Meanwhile Wendy’s snoring away.

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Some French jokes:

Q: How do you keep a French person from crashing your party?
A: Put a sign up that says “no nudity”

Q: Why do French People eat snails?
A: Because they don’t like fast food!

Q: How does every French joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: What is the Guillotine?
A: A French chopping centre.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Frenchman and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they’re both fictional characters

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Europe Is Killing Itself

Well said Pat. Pity we don’t have the politicians with the gonads to say it and do something about it.

Wednesday – cool, windy and sporadic torrential downpours.

In view of my Mal de mere, I pass on breakfast. Bacon and eggs just doesn’t tempt me. Arrive 2 hours late due to the gales.

After about 6 hours we finally get to the campsite and there’s nothing better than having to set up when it’s pissing down. Fortunately the caravan pitch is fairly level. It’s two years since we did any of this so it’s all a bit of a mystery and the occasional screw up.

After much cussing we get set up.

There’s a free wine and cheese party on the site and then it’s off to the sewerage farm, AKA Intermarche, Supermarket for tea and breakfast supplies.

So we arrive safely in France.

How do we know it’s France. Is it the guys on bikes with onions? Is it the snails winking at me from their shell? Is it because we’re on the different side of the road? No none of the above.
It’s obvious when you walk in the supermarket and that aroma of raw sewage just tantalises your nasal passages, as they’re obviously still using that eau de savage raw sewage floor cleaner to give that distinctive and welcoming smell. Vile.

Sleep like a log apart from the clamour of rain on the caravan roof. Oh the joys of caravanning.

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How Binary Works

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If You Live in Freedom, Thank the British Empire

Thursday – cool, windy and sporadic torrential downpours.

Finish off the set up. Get wifi set up. Pretty good this caravanning, once you’re all set up.

Supermarket trips for essential supplies such as wine.

Don’t bother setting up satellite as I’ve downloaded loads of BBC and Netflix, plus wifi is pretty good so should be able to watch as needed. It looks like our 90cm, Goon Hilly Down satellite dish, can be scrapped. With wifi we can get Netflix although SmartDNS struggles with BBC and HBO – thats French internet for you.Installed SmartDNS VPN on MacBook and that copes with the BBC problem – connect via Smart DNS VPN in WiFI Preferences.

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I recently asked a retired police sergeant, who I though was a good friend, for a reference so I could join a local gun club. Here is his response:

Dear Sirs,

I have been requested to endorse the suitability of the above in respect of membership of a firearms club.

I can confirm I have known Mr Edwards for a period in excess of two years.

He is conscious of his commitment to the community, not only in the UK but also the United States.

In the UK, his domicile country, he is a founder member of the Belthorn EDL, actively engaged in organising rallies, protests and other methods of eradicating Muslim progression, such as the banning of burkhas and the burning of the Quran.

He is also a honorary member of the Park City Klu Klux Klan, and was instrumental in the introduction of legislation banning the use of magic underwear.

When armed, he presents no threat to the wider community, except those well wide of the target, being incapable of hitting a barn door with a sawn off shotgun from 6 paces.

He was trained in the use of a variety of weapons at the Stevie Wonder School of shooting skills, but unfortunately failed to reach the minimum standard required. He has however assured me he mistakenly wore a pair of welders’ goggles instead of conventional eyewear resulting in a below par performance.

I fully endorse the application.

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I don’t believe it. Well sadly and actually I do:

Amid a devastating hurricane in Florida, police there are having to warn people not to shoot at the storm after a Facebook event, “Shoot At Hurricane Irma” garnered 54,000 replies of interest.

“To clarify, DO NOT shoot weapons @ #Irma. You won’t make it turn around & it will have very dangerous side effects,” warns the sheriff in Pasco County, which is north of Tampa along Florida’s west coast.

Obviously a NRA inspired scheme. Only in America.

Friday – warm and sporadic torrential downpours.

Yeah… first snow in Park City.


Visit the Bayeux Tapestry today. All that history and culture. Not impressed with the quality of workmanship but it’s an amazing length. I suppose it was the comic strip / Netflix / TV of it’s day.

Typical French signposts. Start off quite well when they’re at a distance. Then when you’re within about 200 yards you’re on your own.

Friday night Peter and Fran come round for drinks. We manage to quaff some French wine whilst putting the World to rights. It’s amazing how similar our views are. When will we get some politicians with some gonads who will tackle BREXIT and realise that islam is the problem. It’s a late night – midnight – as there’s one hell of a lot to put right.

Rain and hale is horrendous.

Sorry no photos of the rain this blog.

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Never knew much about English history, 1066 and all that but here’s a potted summary of the yarn the Bayeux tapestry tells:

This big cheese Eddie ( King Edward the Confessor of York) is on his last legs and has no legit kids, so he sends Hal (Harold Godwinson) to Normandy to tell Bill (William the Conqueror), born wrong side of the blanket, that he wants him to become the big cheese when he finally kicks his clogs.

Hal sets off across the channel, but being a total twit gets lost, lands in the wrong place and is taken hostage by a rival gang. Meanwhile Bill hears about this and arranges for his release.

Bill then takes Hal on some kickass gang warfare for a bit of light relief and to kill the boredom. Hal becomes a signed up member of Bill’s gang and agrees to be his faithful sidekick when Bill becomes the big cheese. Hal then goes back to England to report back to Eddie. Meanwhile Eddie finally kicks his clogs. Hal decides he’d like all the power that Eddie had, so he welches on his deal with Bill and becomes the big cheese.

Bill finds out that Hals ratted on him and is pissed, so he gets his gang together and sails over to England to kick Hals ass. Hal and Eddie’s gang have a mega rumble and Hal gets poked in the eye with an arrow which turns his lights out. Bill and his gang take over from Hal and Bill becomes the big cheese.

Meanwhile in 1066, but not depicted on the tapestry, no doubt for fear of appearing islamaphobic, a Muslim mob storms the royal palace in Granada, crucifies Jewish vizier Joseph ibn Naghrela, and massacres most of the Jewish population of the city. Nothing new there then and still it goes on.

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Meanwhile back in the Uk there’s yet another islamic terrorist bomb on the tube – 29 injured – and would have been a disaster had the bomb worked properly. Thank the FSM most of these jihadis are thick. Yet more platitudes and feeble response. What will it take before our PC bed wetter politicians realise that Islam is the problem; we are at war; do something positive about the problem.

Stop being frightened to even talk about it. Stop trying to stifle free speech. Stop using that word islamophobia. It is totally irrational not to fear Islam.

It’s time for some strong action against this vile ideology.

Go read the Quran and see if you still believe Islam is a religion of peace.

Anyway I’ve had enough and intend to do my bit by raising the spectre of the “elephant in the World” – islam – at every opportunity