Monthly Archives: November 2015

20151126 – Thanksgiving day and home

Thursday – warm and sunny

Yet again it’s Thanksgiving day here in the USA. Seems to be a bigger event than Christmas. A time when all families get together and eat turkey and a crazy president pardons a couple of turkeys, for what I don’t know.

Which president started the tradition of pardoning the Thanksgiving turkey?

Buckets of free flowing champagne.

Buckets of free flowing champagne.

The tradition of “pardoning” White House turkeys has been traced to President Abraham Lincoln’s 1863 clemency to a turkey recorded in an 1865 dispatch by White House reporter Noah Brooks, who noted, “a live turkey had been brought home for the Christmas dinner, but [Lincoln’s son Tad] interceded in behalf of its life. . . . [Tad’s] plea was admitted and the turkey’s life spared.”

imageRecently White House mythmakers have claimed that President Harry S. Truman began this amusing holiday tradition. However, Truman, when he received the turkeys, and subsequent presidents did not “pardon” their birds. The formalities of pardoning a turkey gelled by 1989, when President George H.W. Bush remarked, “Reprieve,” “keep him going,” or “pardon”: it’s all the same for the turkey, as long as he doesn’t end up on the president’s holiday table.

Thanks giving day card:

This little piggy was very tasty.

This little piggy was very tasty.


My Sorry Sense Of Humour

The history of thanksgiving:


Religious Rant Of The Day

The true origins of the Quran:


Friday – warm and sunny

Scuba with Whale Sharks and Manta Rays has to be my highlight of the whole trip. The best dive ever.

Scuba with Whale Sharks and Manta Rays has to be my highlight of the whole trip. The best dive ever.

As there’s little opportunity for photos I’ll be posting a few of the best from our 3 month trip.

Drive up to Atlanta, 300 miles and should take 5 hours.

Savannah's famous fountain.

Savannah’s famous fountain.

Well whose idea was it to travel on the UK equivalent of a bank holiday. Called in for Wendy’s lunch at a Panera. Sadly it was on a giant Mall where the whole of Montgomery were out doing their Black Friday shopping for 64″ TVs. Not even room to park a push bike, and queuing just for parking spaces. One Panera bread sandwich and one Starbucks coffee only takes 50 minutes.

Back on the road to sit in a hours traffic jam on the interstate. Seven hours later we arrive at the hotel, somewhat frazzled. Joy the hotel has no fast food nearby so it means a drive. Real joy they have a restaurant on site.

My real joy goes down the plug hole when we get into the very nice restaurant.

Amazonian black women with a naked midriff, complete with giant diamond belly button piercing, sunk into a foot deep adipose tissue sinkhole, comes up to greet us. That diamond and the sinkhole are intimidating, it could consume you.

St Augustine.

St Augustine.

Waitress: “Sorry we’re our of wings, pizza. Oh and also lettuce. It’s all due to Thanksgiving.”. Oh this is a great start.
Me: “So we can kiss goodbye to any of the salads then. Have you run out of coffee too.”
W: “You have to go to the ground floor for coffee”. An American restaurant and no coffee. You couldn’t make it up.
M: “So is there anything on the menu? Why have you run out.”
W: “Thanksgiving shortages.”
M: “That’s the problem with these surprise holidays like Thanksgiving, no one ever knows when they’re going to drop them on you!”.

Wendy learns about longitude.

Wendy learns about longitude.

The smart move would have been to walk out at that point, but the prospect of getting behind that steering wheel and driving in the pitch black in search of junk food had no appeal, I’d rather sell Bibles on Blackburn market.

Quesadilla took 30 minutes to arrive and whilst I’ve never been allowed in a kitchen since I wrecked a microwave – seems unreasonable to me they can’t cope with some metal going in them – I’m convinced I could have done so much better.


My Sorry Sense Of Humour

George Carlin – who controls America:


Rant Of The Day

Antibiotic resistance awareness day:


Religious Rant Of The Day

Is Islam a peaceful religion? Bill Maher weighs in.‬


Saturday – warm and sunny

Lazy morning and a late, 13:00, checkout as our flights not until 18:00. Good opportunity to catch up on last blog of the trip.

A bit of a wait for the virgins to come and check us in, but apart from that and the usual TSA nonsense, it all went pretty smoothly. Mind you whoever said “To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive” – Robert Louis Stevenson apparently – had never been through an airport.


My Sorry Sense Of Humour

Seems an appropriate subject, George Carlin on airlines and flying:


Rant Of The Day

Good news according to the Times “The fastest growing belief system in the world is non-belief”.

Is it any wonder. Even Muslims are turning away from religion, although Islamic countries are doing their utmost to stop the stampede. A few death penalties always helps focus the minds of the intelligent masses and keep every one in line. More people are turning humanist as they view religion as a never ending source of evil. Who knows perhaps one day it will all be cast into the realm of fairy tales. The sooner our country becomes secular and abolishes religious schools the better.


Religious Rant Of The Day

Islam the religion of pieces:


Sunday – cold, wet and a howling wind

Judging by the evil howling of the wind, a giant wheelie bin just scampering like a ghostly apparition across the garden, the rain and the cold I guess we’ve made it safely home. Always good to get such a pleasant welcome.

Who knows perhaps not long before we have this to look forward to?

Who knows perhaps not long before we have this to look forward to?


At least the house is warm and clean. By lunch time we’ve unpacked, decanted our holiday purchases and almost forgot we’d ever been away.

Well at least I’ve Welsh rarebit for tea to look forward to, the highlight of any homecoming. And who knows after 3 months of deprivation I may even get a macaroni pudding later this week.

Never mind only 2 months to a proper holiday in Park City when I’ll resume my daily rants and blog.

20151122 – Fairhope; Pensacola; Gulf Shores

Sunday – cool and sunny

Gulf shores beach walk.

Gulf shores beach walk.


Have a drive down to Gulf Shores. Quite a pleasant drive.

Ride em cowgirl at Gulf Shores beach.

Ride em cowgirl at Gulf Shores beach.

Lunch in the car overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. Then take a walk along the beach to the pier. It’s clear blue skies but with the off shore breeze it’s quite cool. Turns out to be a 3 mile round trip.

Then have a drive around and onto Orange Beach. Mainly just more of the same giant beachfront condos overlooking the Gulf of Mexico and the typical grot shops, miniature golf and fast food. Both pretty tired after all that exercise.

Macaroni cheese for tea. I’ve been 3 months now without Macaroni pudding. Never mind when we’re home there’ll be that and day 1 will be Welsh rarebit with bacon and baked beans.

Catch up with Homeland in the evening, not a patch on previous seasons.

Lap Topless – Day 8

Finally cracked getting pictures onto my blog. Reviewed loads of apps to scale down images but none seem to do the trick. Simple solution seems to be create email; add pictures from photo; select size option; email; open email; add to photos. From photos can upload to blog. May seem a tad,long winded but in practice only a couple of steps more than solution on laptop. I can live with that.


My Sorry Sense Of Humour

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in six seconds and it had better be there. Next morning his wife looked out the window to find a box, giftwrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.


Rant Of The Day

Meanwhile, senior Whitehall sources said the government was “reviewing” the introduction of passenger profil­ing at airports. Those who may fit the profile of a terror­ist or act suspiciously would be subjected to extra questioning and searches.

The transport minister Lord Ahmad said profiling is “certainly something that has been reviewed.”


Religious Rant Of The Day

And for my last blog of this trip I’d like to attempt to dispel some of the myths about Islam:

Islam Means ‘Peace’

In truth, the Quran not only calls Muslims to submit to Allah, it also commands them to subdue people of other religions until they are in a full state of submission to Islamic rule.  This has inspired the aggressive history of Islam and its success in conquering other cultures.

Free food tasting at Publix - more like a full meal.

Free food tasting at Publix – more like a full meal.

Submission and peace can be very different concepts, even if a form of peace is often brought about through forcing others into submission.  As the modern-day Islamic scholar, Ibrahim Sulaiman, puts it, “Jihad is not inhumane, despite its necessary violence and bloodshed, its ultimate desire is peace which is protected and enhanced by the rule of law.”
 
Islam Respects Women as Equals

There is no ambiguity in the Quran, the life of Muhammad, or Islamic law as to the inferiority of women to men despite the efforts of modern-day apologists to salvage Western-style feminism from scraps and fragments of verses that have historically held no such progressive interpretation.
After military conquests, Muhammad would dole out captured women as war prizes to his men.  In at least one case, he advocated that they be raped in front of their husbands.  Captured women were made into sex slaves by the very men who killed their husbands and brothers.  There are four Quranic verses in which “Allah” makes clear that a Muslim master has full sexual access to his female slaves, yet there is not one that prohibits rape.
The Quran gives Muslim men permission to beat their wives for disobedience, but nowhere does it command love in marriage (although it is said to exist).  The verses plainly say that husbands are “a degree above” wives. 

Muslim women do not inherit property in equal portion to males.  This is somewhat ironic given that Islam owes its existence to the wealth of Muhammad’s first wife, which would not otherwise have been inherited by her given that she had two brothers and her first husband had three sons.
A woman’s testimony in court is considered to be worth only half that of a man’s, according to the Quran.  Unlike a man, she must also cover her head – and often her face.
If a woman wants to prove that she was raped, then there must be four male witnesses to corroborate her account (according to strict Sharia).  Otherwise she can be jailed or stoned to death for confessing to “adultery.”


Monday – cool and sunny

Cannon firing at the Marriott Grand hotel Fairhope.

Cannon firing at the Marriott Grand hotel Fairhope.

Feel a lazy day coming on.

Have a drive up to Daphne, but not a great deal there.

Daphne beach.

Daphne beach.

Then drive down to the Marriott Grand Hotel Faithope, and very grand it is too. Afternoon tea and coffee, complete with free refills, all for under $6. Cheaper than Starbucks and for that we get luxury surroundings on leather settees’ pleasant walk along the bay; free fishing rods for a spot of fishing; yet another demonstration cannon firing, under the auspices of the Stars and Stripes; followed by free afternoon tea, coffee and cookies. Not bad eh? And if you got the brass balls to get past gate security you don’t even have to buy anything – all free.

What a pleasant afternoon.


My Sorry Sense Of Humour


Rant Of The Day


Religious Rant Of The Day

Jihad Means ‘Inner Struggle’

Fishing at Marriott Grnd hotel Fairhope .

Fishing at Marriott Grnd hotel Fairhope .

In Arabic, “jihad” means struggle.  In Islam, it means holy war.
The Quran specifically exempts the disabled and elderly from Jihad (4:95), which would make no sense if the word is being used merely within the context of spiritual struggle.  It is also unclear why Muhammad and his Quran would use graphic language, such as smiting fingers and heads from the hands and necks of unbelievers if he were speaking merely of character development.
With this in mind, Muslim apologists generally admit that there are two meanings to the word, but insist that “inner struggle” is the “greater Jihad,” whereas “holy war” is the “lesser.”  
 
Islam is a Religion of Peace

Fishing at Marriott Grnd hotel Fairhope .

Fishing at Marriott Grnd hotel Fairhope .

There shouldn’t be any argument over who the “true Muslim” is because the Quran clearly distinguishes the true Muslim from the pretender in Sura 9 and elsewhere.  According to this – one of the last chapters of the Quran – the true believer “strives and fights with their wealth and persons” while the hypocrites are those who “sit at home,” refusing to join the jihad against unbelievers in foreign lands.
In truth, Muhammad organized 65 military campaigns in the last ten years of his life and personally led 27 of them.  The more power that he attained, the smaller the excuse needed to go to battle, until finally he began attacking tribes merely because they were not yet part of his growing empire.

There is not another religion in the world that consistently produces terrorism in the name of God as does Islam.  The most dangerous Muslims are nearly always those who interpret the Quran most transparently.  They are the fundamentalists or purists of the faith, and believe in Muhammad’s mandate to spread Islamic rule by the sword, putting to death those who will not submit.  In the absence of true infidels, they will even turn on each other.


Tuesday – warm and sunny

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum.

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum.

Drive along the coast to Pensacola. The more scenic route.

Lunch in the “historic village”. Oh, what a surprise they’ve run out of soup. Running out of …… seems to be a favourite national SNAFU.

Then do a tour of the historic village. Sadly the tour guide is about as entertaining and informative as a drunk Glaswegian.

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum, Marine 1.

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum, Marine 1.

Drive down to the naval base to visit the air museum there. Now it’s good to know that the US Navy’s on a high state of alert. They need photo Id before we’re allowed on. Out comes my 49 year old paper driving license along with a loose picture I’ve popped in with it for good measure. That’s just fine. You do wonder at times why they even get out of bed in the morning.

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum, Blue Angel.

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum, Blue Angel.

Anyway back to the Naval Air Museum. It’s housed in two massive hangers with loads of aircraft exhibits. Well worth the entrance fee – it’s free. Unbelievable. Unusual for me to say it, but if I’d have paid $20 each I would not hve been dissappointed. Spend an enjoyable couple of hours just browsing around. You could easily spend a whole day there. Awesome. Highly recommend it.

Drive back along I10 rather than the coastal road.


My Sorry Sense Of Humour


Rant Of The Day

I really do despair, what has happened to this country. Wherever you go Christmas has been replaced by holiday season.


Religious Rant Of The Day
 
Islam is Tolerant of Other Religions

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum.

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum.

Religious minorities have not “flourished” under Islam.  In fact, they have dwindled to mere shadows after centuries of persecution and discrimination.  Some were converted from their native religion by brute force, others under the agonizing strain of dhimmitude.
What Muslims call “tolerance,” others correctly identify as institutionalized discrimination.  The consignment of Jews and Christians to dhimmis under Islamic rule means that they are not allowed the same religious rights and freedoms as Muslims.  They cannot share their faith, for example, or build houses of worship without permission. (See this link for rules imposed by the Islamic State)
Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum.

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum.

Historically, dhimmis have often had to wear distinguishing clothing or cut their hair in a particular manner that indicates their position of inferiority and humiliation.  They do not share the same legal rights as Muslims, and must even pay a poll tax (the jizya).  They are to be killed or have their children taken from them if they cannot satisfy the tax collector’s requirements.
The conquered populations face death if they do not establish regular prayer and charity in the Islamic tradition (ie. the pillars of Islam).

Islam is Opposed to Slavery

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum. Perhaps Wendy overcomes her fear of aircraft after all

Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum. Perhaps Wendy overcomes her fear of aircraft after all

There is not the least bit of intolerance for slavery anywhere in the Quran.  In fact, the “holy” book of Islam explicitly gives slave-owners the freedom to sexually exploit their slaves – not just in one place, but in at least four separate Suras.  Islamic law is littered with rules concerning the treatment of slaves, some of which are relatively humane, but none that prohibit the actual practice by any stretch.
Pensacola historic village.

Pensacola historic village.

Muhammad captured slaves, sold slaves, bought slaves as gifts of pleasure, received slaves as gifts, and used slaves for work.  The Sira is exquisitely clear on the issue of slavery.
The Quran tells Muslims to emulate the example of Muhammad, who has the most “exalted character”.  As such, the deeply dehumanizing horror of slavery has been a ubiquitous tradition of Islam for 14 centuries, including the modern plight of non-Muslim slaves in the Sudan, Mali, Niger, Mauritania, and other parts of the Muslim world.


Wednesday – warm and sunny

https://www.facebook.com/tony.w.edwards?pnref=story

Lazy morning followed by a lovely walk along Fairhope beach, watch some guys trying to catch mullet with a net, look for alligators, a browse around town and a relaxing coffee in the French quarter. Mind you yet again they’re out of coffee. This country seems to be becoming as enterprising as a French Zeplin maker. The place is teaming with tourists ready for Thanksgiving and the cafe decides to shut at 14:30 – their loss. The countries loosing the plot, whatever happened to the entrepreneurial spirit?


My Sorry Sense Of Humour


Rant Of The Day


Religious Rant Of The Day

Islam is Incompatible with Terrorism

Try telling this to the loved ones of the thousands who have died at the hands of Islamic jihadis.

Islam does prohibit killing innocent people.  Unfortunately, as infidels and people of the book, we don’t qualify.

Fairhope beach

Fairhope beach

In many places, the prophet of Islam says that Jihad is the ideal path for a Muslim, and that believers should “fight in the way of Allah.”  There are dozens of open-ended passages in the Quran that exhort killing and fighting – far more than there are of peace and tolerance.

Islam is not intended to co-exist as an equal with other religions.  It is to be the dominant religion with Sharia as the supreme law.  Islamic rule is to be extended to the ends of the earth and resistance is to be dealt with by any means necessary. 
Apologists in the West often shrug off the Quran’s many verses of violence by saying that they are relevant only in a “time of war.”

To this, Islamic terrorists would agree.  They are at war.
 
Islam is a Democracy

Fairhope beach.

Fairhope beach.

A democracy is a system in which all people are judged as equals before the law, regardless of race, religion or gender.  The vote of every individual counts as much as the vote of any other.  The collective will of the people then determines the rules of society.

Sharia is not democracy and Muslims want Sharia law.

Fairhope beach. Alligators and snakes but don't feed them.

Fairhope beach. Alligators and snakes but don’t feed them.

Under Islamic law, only Muslim males are entitled to full rights.  The standing of a woman is often half that of a man’s – sometimes even less.  Non-Muslims have no standing with a Muslim.  In fact, a Muslim can never be put to death for killing an unbeliever.

Islam does not facilitate democracy.

I’ll let Pat Condell have the final say on this with “it’s nothing to do with Islam”:

20151119 – Goodbye Florida, hello Alabama; Fairhope; Mobile

Thursday – hot and sunny

Fairhope pier.

Fairhope pier.

As we leave Panama City and head along the coast towards Fairhope, Alabama we leave the clouds and remnents of a potential tornado behind and head back into the warm sunshine. The drive along the coast starts off as a scenic way of seeing the Florida Pan Handle and the Emerald Coast but after 2 hours of traffic lights every 20 yards, I’m loosing the will to live and ready to go onto a catatonic state.

Cross over into Alabama, our 9th state on this trip.

Get to our new home exchange in a very select neighbourhood of Fairhope and we even have a swimming pool – see pictures.

As usual we’re off to the supermarket. After all those traffic lights I break my 7 days on the wagon and get a luscious Zinfandell.

Lap Topless – Day 6

Watching TV and sound is impressive. Still struggling with selecting text, but cut and paste is becoming easier with the shortcuts etc.

Given up on Blogpad Pro, too many compromises and spending too much time removing crap it’s inserted, I beginning to think it’s possessed. Not the iPads fault, just typical badly tested software – now there’s a surprise. Reverted back to WordPress but going to try using their Visual Editor more.


Rant Of The Day

Someone saying it as it is:


My Sorry Sense Of Humour

Muppets Giant Crumpet Show:


Friday – hot and sunny

Fairhope.

Fairhope.

Lazy start to the day. Having a very laid back day after 5 days on the road, 3 days of which were spent sat at traffic lights. Now go into a catatonic state whenever there’s a red traffic light.

Lounge, complete with Apple TV.

Lounge, complete with Apple TV.

Lunchtime we drive down to Fairhope. Have a stroll along the pier, yes it’s free. Then Wendy has lunch, after which we stroll around town. Visit the quaint little museum. Amazing that a town this size even has one. The towns lovely and relaxing. Mainly expensive women’s clothes shops, antique shops and more cafes than there are brothels in Amsterdam.

Do a spot of Balsamic vinegar tasting. Never realised they could be so tasty. We even lash out on a drop of Blueberry Balsamic. Very tasty, must try some more of these when we get home.

Then it’s a trip out to Walmart, allegedly where all the crazy people shop.

Bedroom.

Bedroom.

The City Fairhope began as a dream in the minds of a group of individuals who were seeking their own special utopia. The first Single-Tax colonists (so called because of their belief in the economic theories of Henry George, who advocated no taxes other than a single land tax), looked at land throughout the South and Midwest before settling in 1894 on a high bluff overlooking Mobile Bay. According to legend, one of the group said the new colony had a fair hope of success, and the community of Fairhope was born. Based on a spirit of cooperative individualism, the Single Tax Colony attracted supporters and financial backers from around the country, drawing an eclectic assemblage of industrious, creative, and free-thinking people to Fairhope.

Home exchange - bedroom.

Home exchange – bedroom.

The City of Fairhope was established with around 500 residents in 1908, taking over responsibility for all municipal services. In the 1930s, the city became the caretaker of Fairhope’s greatest assets, the beachfront park, the park lands on the bluff above the beach, Henry George Park, Knoll Park, and the quarter-mile long pier, all gifts of the Single Tax Colony, which continues to have an active presence in the city to this day.

Swimming pool - a tad cold.

Swimming pool – a tad cold.

Today, Fairhope is a breathtaking vision that draws visitors from around the world who come to enjoy its natural beauty and its vibrant downtown filled with unique shops and galleries, gourmet restaurants, cozy cafes and more. A growing community of over 16,000 residents, Fairhope is also much more than just one of the prettiest small towns in the South. The city leads the way for others with active recycling programs, a state-of-the art water treatment system, involved citizens (over 70 percent report doing some type of volunteer work), and a new Comprehensive Plan that seeks to maintain the city’s high quality of life through controlled growth and development

Lap Topless – Day 7

Home exchange garden.

Home exchange garden.

Still no major issues other than selecting text. Need some more research into the best ways.

one of the real advantages is being able to have two apps side by side. I write a lot of my blog in Notes and cut and paste into WordPress, so this is most useful.

Looks like I’ll have to buy and SD Card reader and of course there’s no USB ports, but for the life of me I can’t think of anything that will need one, other than if I wanted to play a DVD. It must be over a year since I bothered with a DVD so probably not a problem.

May also need a bigger bedside table to fit this on.


My Sorry Sense Of Humour

George Carlin on fat people:


Saturday – Warm and cloudy with some light rain

Head off down to Mobile to explore. Nightmare finding the visitor centre thanks to my satnav which seems to be hell bent on taking me round and round in ever decreasing circles requiring maximum lane changes at the last moment. Obviously trying to kill me.

Mobile - visitors centre.

Mobile – visitors centre.

Finally find the visitors centre along with some free parking. They’re very helpful in there. Almost too helpful naps we wonder will we ever escape.

Have a walk around downtown Dauphin Street. It’s a bit of a poor mans fake New Orleans. Wendy has lunch at the Spot of tea. Very different.

Mobile - museum, Wendy learns about longitude.

Mobile – museum, Wendy learns about longitude.

Mobile is the county seat of Mobile County, Alabama. The population within the city limits was 195,111 as of the 2010 United States Census, making it the third most populous city in the State of Alabama.

Alabama’s only saltwater port, Mobile is located at the head of the Mobile Bay and the north-central Gulf Coast. The Port of Mobile has always played a key role in the economic health of the city beginning with the city as a key trading center between the French and Native Americans down to its current role as the 12th-largest port in the United States. Mobile is the largest city in the Mobile-Daphne−Fairhope CSA, with a total population of 604,726, the second largest in the state.

Mobile - Dauphin street.

Mobile – Dauphin street.

Mobile began as the first capital of colonial French Louisiana in 1702. During its first 100 years, Mobile was a colony of France, then Britain, and lastly Spain. Mobile first became a part of the United States of America in 1813. In 1861 Alabama joined the Confederate States of America, which surrendered in 1865.

Then walk across to the National Maritime Museum of the Gulf of Mexico. Give the Spanish galleon a miss, a tad too expensive, but the museum is awesome. Had a great time and learnt lots of new things. At long last, thanks to a great interractive exhibit, I now know the difference between latitude and longitude, always got them mixed up. Also understand the theory behind it. Loads of hands on exhibits.

Mobile - Maritime museum.

Mobile – Maritime museum.

Then visit Forte Conde, an interesting little fort with free admission.

Not a fantastic city but enough for a day out.

Lap Topless – Day 8

Mobile - modern warship, looks more like an old Ironclad from the civil war.

Mobile – modern warship, looks more like an old Ironclad from the civil war.

Found some great selection shortcuts by word, sentence and paragraph that I wasn’t aware of. They’re iOS9 features so notThe  unique to the iPad Pro but sure make it more of a reality as a laptop replacement.

My major use of the iPad for creating, rather than consuming, is my blog. I given a lot more thought to creating this and come up with some simple, ease of use methods that make it as easy to write on the iPad as a laptop. Again none of these are unique to iOS but it has focuses my mind on making this work as a replacement for my laptop.

Funny how the little things screw you. How do I resize my pictures before uploading to my blog. Photos on the Mac has an export feature that can resize. No such thing in iOS. Spend a couple of hours search for a batch resize app without much look. Finally crack it by emailing photos direct from Photos, with a reduced file size, and then save to a folder ready for import.


My Sorry Sense Of Humour

Ricky Gervais on the bible:


Religious Rant Of The Day

Pat Condell on the trouble with Islam:

20151115 – St Augustine; Tallahassee; Panama City

Sunday – hot and sunny

St Augustine

Drive down to St Augustine the oldest town in America.

St. Augustine (SpanishSan Agustín) is a city in northeastern Florida. It is the oldest continuously occupied European-established settlement within the borders of the contiguous United States.

St Augustine

Saint Augustine was founded on September 8, 1565, by Spanish admiral and Florida’s first governor, Pedro Menéndez de Avilés. He named the settlement “San Agustín”, as his ships bearing settlers, troops, and supplies from Spain had first sighted land in Florida on August 28, 1565, the feast day of St. Augustine. The city served as the capital of Spanish Florida for over 200 years, and remained the capital of East Florida when the territory briefly changed hands between Spain and Britain. It was designated the capital of the Florida Territory until Tallahassee was made the capital in 1824. Since the late 19th century, St. Augustine’s distinct historical character has made the city a major tourist attraction. It is also the headquarters for the Florida National Guard.

Get to our sleep Inn hotel, dump our luggage. What a friendly, excellent and helpful reception we got. Then get picked up by a free shuttle bus to take us to the Old Town Trolley hop on and off tour. Tour is excellent. Have a brief shuffty around the old town and Wendy has lunch. The old town does not disappoint our expectations. A tad touristy but it looks very walkable, and rarely for a US town has a true old town historic district. Looking forward to exploring this on foot tomorrow.

Have a wander around the exterior of the old fort. Certainly not shelling out $20 to go in such a small fort.

St Augustine

Back on the trolley and then do the jail house tour. Like the trolley tour it was excellent. Jail life was pretty tough back in 1905. Perhaps we should learn from them.

For our evening meal – tea – we go to Salt Life Food Shack. It’s been very well advertised and is reckoned to be one of the best sea food places.

It seems to be staffed by pubescent 12 year old girls in a vain attempt emulate Hooters. I have 4 key indicators of a poor restaurant. 1st and most important, if they don’t know what the soup of the day is, then make a dash for the nearest exit. 2nd sticky tables are a sign to be weary. 3rd sticky or tatty menus another be weary indicator. 4th cutlery drying spots another be weary sign. Well this place managed 2 and 3 but regrettably we gave them the benefit of the doubt.

Our primary school pupil waitress looks as bored as a 12 year old made to sit through Shakespeare’s King Lear in Serbo Croat. As to the food it’s mediocre at best. The snow crabs legs are off an anorexic crab.

Disappointing.

Lap Topless – Day 3

Pretty good so far, just the annoying issue of cursor positioning with your fingers. Need to explore the advanced cursor positioning options.


Religious Rant Of The Day
3 things you probably didn’t know about Islam:

Monday – hot and sunny

St Augustine

 

Bloody awful nights sleep for me, or lack of it. That crab is high on the suspect list. End up feeling a tad rough all day.

Drive down to the trolley station. Free parking there. Catch the trolley down to the old town. Have a pleasant wander around.

St Augustine

Then drive down to the beach where we sit while Wendy has yet another luxury lunch. Drive down to the light house but are not prepared to spend $20 just to see a lighthouse and climb 200+ steps. For that sort of money I expect a lift.

Back to the trolley terminal. Do the old store tour and the history museum. All included in the trolley tour and quite interesting.

Then we’re off down to Panera Bread to pick up a couple of sandwiches for dinner.

Lap Topless – Day 4

iPad Pro is dead after being charged up all night. 2nd time this has happened. Starts up with a hard reset.

Get onto Apple support chat. Spend over an hour on the support chat line. End up updating iOS9. Ironically end up using my MacBook for iTunes. Leave it running whilst we’re out. Have to see tomorrow morning whether it fixes the problem.

Doing ok on the iPad and really like the on screen key board. Blogpad Pro has some unfortunate habits of inserting unwanted HTML, makes it difficult to manage. That’s a Blogpad Pro software problem and not iPad.

Battery life seems very good.


Rant Of The Day
Syria’s war, who is fighting and why:

Well are you any the wiser or now totally befuddled?


Religious Rant Of The Day

After my rant about the Bible Belt I thought it would be interesting to find out what fairy tales the creationist believe:

St Augustine

They don’t believe in evolution
Humans and dinosaurs co-existed
Biological systems are too complex to have evolved
We can see light from distant galaxies because the speed of light is not constant
All hominid fossils are either fully human or fully ape
Stars and planets could have never formed from dust
The Second Law of Thermodynamics prohibits evolution
The Flood caused the ice age
Radiocarbon dating doesn’t work.
DNA is God’s signature on all living things
The Grand Canyon was formed by receding flood waters
The earth is only about 6,000 years old


Tuesday – Warm and cloudy

Tallahassee state capital – a concrete carbuncle

Breakfast in the hotel was somewhat basic but the free entertainment made up for it. It seems the waffle mixture dispenser had broken yesterday but in candid camera fashion it seems that nobody had bothered to put a sign on it. Along comes a man about to demonstrate his prowess and potential candidate for Master Chef. Step 1 full cup with waffle mixture – hang on he’s going to drown in it as it inundates him. Waitress to the rescue to mop up. Step 2 pour into machine and rotate – he can’t rotate the machine. Step 3 pop waffle out onto plate – it’s stuck with areas of it still liquid, spends t he next 10 minutes scraping bits of waffle off the machine.

Tallahassee

Drive over to Tallihassee, about 210 miles and 3 hours, check into hotel and then drive downtown. Try to find Visitors Centre, as usual very well hidden. Finally find it. By now Wendy’s ready to die of starvation. Finally find a restaraunt.

Visit the state capital building, usually a majestic building with an interesting free tour. This one breaks the mould. A 22 storey concrete monstrosity with a self guided tour. Panoramic viewing deck on the 22nd floor. First you have to crack the lift system. A real conundrum.  8 lifts; 5 of them only go to floor 6; 2 of them to floor 21; 1 of them to floor 22; press any button and it calls any one of the 8 lifts. Question what are the odds of getting the lift to floor 22. Answer 1 in 8, so you could be there all day waiting. Go into lifts for floor 21 and lo and behold there’s a sign instructing you to go to floor 21 and catch the only floor 22 lift. I suppose it would have been too difficult to put the sign outside the lift. Don’t you just love stupidity.

Mind you if you crack the lift system then at least floor 22 has free bagels, cakes and drinks from Panera Bread. Your reward.

Then wander down to the Florida History museum, yet another travesty of stupidity and lack of simple signs. Mind you it was a good museum and best of all free.

Well I don’t think we’ll be bothering with a bus tour around. Not exactly a great place to visit. A distinctly stupid lack of signage and confusion.

Tallahassee – what sort of state bothers to have a state pie. Key Lime if you’re interested.

Given all the great places we’ve visited I suppose you have to accept the occasional poor choice. No wonder there’s no Apple Store.

Our hotel room has two new desk lamps with the cellophane wrapping on and a warning to remove it before using. I seek out the desk clerk and point this out as a potential fire risk. He tells me maintenance must have forgot to remove it. He’ll get maintenance to remove it tomorrow. I point out that I’d rather not wake up dead in my bed tomorrow morning, burnt to a crisp. My possible demise might not focus him but the possible lawsuit for gross negligence might. He finally agrees to remove ours. When I ask him what about any others, he shrugs and says they’ll probably let him know and he’ll get the cleaners to check. Hmm…..

For this, the lack of any semblance of sensible signage and the stupidest lift system ever encountered, I’ve decided that I’m awarding Tallihassee the 2015 Award Of Merit For The Stupidest City.

Lap Topless – Day 4

Done some research on the various swipe and keyboard shortcuts. Wow what a productivity increase, although to be fair most of this is available on any iPad or even iPhone, but well worth the research.


Rant Of The Day

Tallahassee

Do my eyes deceive me. Are we totally bereft of even a slither of common sense. I had no idea that so many of  these pond life’s had been allowed back in. From the Times today:
 
“Only three extremists are subject to anti-terrorism curfews and control measures in Britain, even though almost 400 people have returned from fighting violent jihad in Syria.”
 
Why have we allowed any of these barbarians back in? Oh I suppose the PC stormtroopers, the do gooder brigade and the multiculturalist liberal ding bats are arguing these poor mites made a mistake, and have seen the error of their ways – have they not heard of Taqiyya, it’s in the Quran, you can lie to infidels. Poppy cock. There are mistakes you make in life that you have to suffer the consequences.

Shoot them or send them back. You really couldn’t make this up.

Never mind the low risk option of letting in refugees in the hope that there will be some jihadi barbarians in amongst them. Let’s go the whole hog, why don’t we be done with it, just modify our immigration policy and allow in only jihadis with the bomb vest on. Poor things don’t have long to live, we should do the Christian thing, let them at least pop in and see their families for one last time. It’s just pots for rags


Wednesday – Warm, cloudy, rain and threat of a typhoon
Breakfast has to be the most pathetic encountered on this trip. No orange juice, no fruit, cheap tea and coffee, no service, all uninspiring, all served in a sterile and unwelcoming room that has probably been modelled on a Guatanamo Bay interrogation suite.

In view of Tallihassee being so boring and suffering from endemic stupidity throughout, we give any thoughts of a city tour a miss and set off along the coast road to Panama City. Take the scenic coastal route.

Arrive early at Sleep Inn. Check in and then have a drive around.

Panama City seems to be a Myrtle Beach on steroids. Glad we didn’t end up staying a whole week around here.

Subway for tea, one of my favourites.

Just love this word:

termagant – noun

1. 1. 
a harsh-tempered or overbearing woman.

2. 2. 
historical 
an imaginary deity of violent and turbulent character, often appearing in morality plays.


Rant Of The Day

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
 
Is a report from 2014 on various countries health care systems. I’d always thought that France rated as the best in the World, but  pleasantly surprised to see that the UK ranks number 1. Well done to the National Health Service. Something we should be shouting about when we’re bemoaning all the problems. Sadly the USA comes out bottom of the developed nations.

 

20151112 – Goodbye To Seabrook Island; Lap Topless, how to survive without a laptop.

Thursday – hot and sunny.

Fitbit lady and I do the gym in the morning. Then after lunch we head up to Caw Caw nature reserve. To see some wild life and hopefully a few gators. What do we see, nothing but giant, dangly legged mosquitos big enough to feature in a scene from “The Birds”. 

Caw Caw nature reserve.

After a few wine less days I weaken. A Blackstone Zinfandel is just too luscious to resist. You know it’s a good job we’re poor and tight fisted, so only buy the under $10 wines. If the more expensive wines are so much better then I’d be permanently leggless.

As we drive off the island we have to go through this gorgeous living oak lined tunnel with swamps on either side. When the suns out its a lovely drive. Very rural, not many house but we certainly know we’re in the Bible Belt. Why? Well 22 churches in 12 rural miles has to be a clear indication.

Well having lashed out on the ipad pro on the hope that it can replace my MacBook, it’s time to go lap topless, cold turkey, and use only an iPad for the next week. Will I survive?

Lap Topless – Day 1

Start off by commissioning the iPad. Process hangs due to Tunnel Bear, but once I’ve figured that is the cause and deleted it everything goes smooth. Leave it to play with itself over night and awake to a mirror image of Wendy’s pink iPad complete with +15,000 photos.

As apples screwed up on keyboard ordering I’m having to manage without a keyboard so this is a really good test.

Initial problem is creating a PDFs from an email, something I do a lot to create an itinerary on our travels. A £5 app solves that problem – wow I’ve never spent that much on an app.

Find it impossible to download pictures from my camera so will eventually need a £20 SD card reader, if this is to do the job.

Finish my blog off on iPad. Pretty fast but cursor positioning and cut, copy and paste requires some sharp fingered dexterity. Just about survive without resorting back to MacBook. On screen keyboard seems ok.

Time to re-install Tunnel bear to see how it copes with the dreaded BBC iPlayer and Apple TV.


My sorry sense of humour
 
Eddie Izzard on World War 2 and Europe:
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yfE-Pbxk1B0

Rant of the day
 
A Conservative minister was criticised yesterday after she suggested that some low-income families simply needed to “go without” luxuries such as paid-for TV to deal with financial pressures.
Why is it offensive to suggest that people who are supporting themselves should not have to pay for the satelite TV and other luxuries of someone who isn’t supporting themselves? What in FSM name is wrong with cutting your cloth to your means and standing on your own 2 feet? I’ve no problem with anyone who has fell on hard times and needs some help, but it’s not there for luxuries and certainly not a lifestyle choice.

Friday – hot and sunny.

Time to clean up and get packed ready for our next adventure, a 5 day road trip around the Florida Pan Handle.

Wendy wants me from under her feet while she cleans. I’m devastated so commiserate by going to the gym.

Lap Topless – Day 2

Nearly forgot my Topless fast and picked up the MacBook, but remembered as I went to open the lid.

Sweet grass.

Really like the bigger, on screen keyboard. Helps for those of us who are not prepared to sharpen their fingers every day. Find I’m noticing the pop up words even more. Need to utilise these even more, but what I really need to use is the dictation facilities. I’ve never been really comfortable just dictating, my secretary had a real easy life with me. The voice recognition software is pretty good these days.

Also started to be more aware of Apps. Perhaps a few small investments can really help with the Topless transition.

I’ve been looking for a decent WYSIWYG blogging tool for years. Currently I do it all in HTML. It’s the nerd in me, and the lack of a good tool, but have just come across Blog Pro. May give it a £5.99 try.


Saturday – hot and sunny. 

Drive up to Charleston airport to pick the hertz mobile up and drop off the tank for John, who’s flying in later today. Then it’s off down to Jacksonville, Florida – our 8th state on this trip. About 220 miles, 4 hours, interstate most of the way.

Get to our Comfort suite near Jackson airport and plan our next day in Jacksonville  Well try to, but there doesn’t seem owt worth doing. Not even a city tour. Never mind we’ll drive down to our next stop, St Augustine, and have some extra time exploring that.

Hotels very comfy and includes a suite with settee, a free points night.

Buy your car from a vending machine:

Neat. No arrogant sleazy salesman. No haggling on price. No running off to ask his dad on price. 

Save $2,000. The ultimate in disruptive technology.

Tried to walk to the restaurant tonight. It was just across the road, but without much luck. No way to cross those 6 lanes without either a jet pack or a pair of Wings.

Chicken & sausage gumbo followed by shrimp & grits. Well I think having finally tried grits, wandering around with a cup of coffee in my hand and driving the 200 yards to the restaurant rather than walking  must finally qualify me for a green card. Wendy has the meatloaf. Two brick sized meatloafs, big enough to act as door stops.

Lap Topless – Day 3

Surviving pretty well on the iPad and so far have not lost the will to live. Although finding Blog Pro a challenge with formatting, cut and paste, positioning etc. I suspect a lot of this may be due to me using my HTML template mixed with WYSIWYG entry. When I start the next post I think I’ll go for generating a template using only Blog Pro with no raw HTML or CSS styling.


Rant of the day
 

Local village green on Seabrook Island.


Well the Jihadis have been at it over night with the senseless slaughter of 150 in Paris. Sadly something I think we’ll be seeing more of, especially in Britain, merely a matter of time. There’s all the usual do gooder hullabaloo about not blaming Islam, moderate Muslims etc. But are these so called moderate Muslims screaming from the minarets and decrying ISIS etc? Take the trouble to read the Quran, with all 109 passages of violence, and a biography of Muhameds life to understand better the violence endemic in this barbaric ideology. Understand how they treat women and the punishment for apostasy is being stoned to death, perhaps then we can understand why the so called “moderate Muslims”, and especially women, keep their gobs shut rather than risk it.
 
Remember “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” or women.
 
Of course there are good Muslims, it was my pleasure to work with some of them, but don’t ever forget their religion is not just a religion but a total anti-democratic political ideology. We really need to wake up and smell the coffee. It’s almost too late. I truly fear my grandchildren will end up under the barbaric 7th century Sharia law unless we start to resist the ever creeping influence of Islam and the sacrifice of our culture at the alter of multiculurism. The other danger of course is a fascist led backlash against Muslims. Remember Germany and don’t think for one moment it couldn’t happen in the UK. All it will take, in any country, is a few Paris style atrocities for a dangerous backlash.
 
Cameron is right when he says this is the biggest problem of the century. How will we tread that narrow path of defeating creeping Islamisation, sacrificing our culture and loosing democracy without a dangerous nazi styled backlash against Muslims.

20151108 – Tea Plantation; Surfers & Dolphins; Charleston; Fort Sumter Sure Started Something

Sunday – cool, cloudy and rain.

 

Then after all that frustration it’s off to the supermarket / Starbucks for the excitement of the weekly shop.

Wow it’s quite cold. Well only 60F but after all the heat we’ve had it now feels colder than a witch’s titty in a brass bra doin’ push-ups in the snow. Dread to think how Belthorn’s going to feeling when we get back.

Finally a trip to the gym, including the Fitbit lady, who now has the bit between her teeth and wants to get those step counts up. I can see it costing a gym membership when we get home.


My sorry sense of humour

Latest Bud Light commercial. American pinkle water. Nothing like a proper Reinheitsgebot beer.

Mind you this adverts enough to put anybody off any beer.


Religious rant of the day
Real Time with Bill Maher: Fighting Fundamentalism


 

Monday – warm and rain, lots of it.

 

Teaching the tank to swim.

Teaching the tank to swim.

A real frog strangler overnight. We wake up to a flooded marsh and flash flood warnings are in operation. It’s forecast rain all day. Rather than hunker down we decide to take a short drive the Charleston Tea Plantation. They do a free (always a good word) factory tour and it’ll be indoors.

As we drive off Seabrook Island we begin to wonder whether we’ll make it as the only access road is severely flooded from the overnight rain. It seems that the recent hurricane has so soaked the ground that subsequent rains just overload the grounds ability to absorb anymore. Apparently the hurricane wasn’t so much the problem as the 1,000 year rain that came with it. Yes another weather superlative, the worts rains in a 1,000 years – perhaps the FSM can explain how they know that far back.

Tea plantation. It has the essential superlative accolade of course - the only one in America.

Tea plantation. It has the essential superlative accolade of course – the only one in America.

Anyway we make it to the plantation. Take the tour, sample some teas and of course at the end of the tour there’s the merchandising opportunity. I was surprised that tea was grown down here. Apparently the only tea plantation in America.

Home to The Charleston Tea Plantation, Wadmalaw provides the perfect environment for propagating tea. With its sandy soils, sub-tropical climate and average rainfall of 52 inches per year, Wadmalaw possess idyllic conditions for the Camellia Sinensis plant. This plant is currently used to produce both black and green teas and exists in over 320 varieties on the 127 acre grounds of the Charleston Tea Plantation.

Then it’s back home for afternoon coffee.


Rant of the day

Just watched a programme on the Drake equation which Attempts to define the number of planets with intelligent life – see below:

IMG_4467

Well I’ve come up with my own formula to help define the number of intelligent life forms to be found in the Palace of Westminster:

IMG_7181

Try it. No matter what values you use, for some reason, it always miraculously comes up with the right answer.


Religious rant of the day
The one thing there seems to be in abundance here, in the aptly named Bible belt, is churches. More churches than there are black Burkas being brandished and bounding around Blackburn. Surely to justify there existence people must have to visit at least 4 different churches every Sunday.

Can you believe this test. 100% correct. A*. Welcome to the bat shit crazy elements of the bible belt.

Can you believe this test. 100% correct. A*. Welcome to the bat shit crazy elements of the bible belt.

The above is an actual science quiz given to 4th graders at Blue Ridge Christian Academy in South Carolina. This particular Christian Academy is a tiny school, it’s private, it’s got Christian right there in the name so you know where they’re coming from, and like a good portion of America’s much-heralded private schools it apparently exists to give children the shittiest possible education that money can buy, the sort of education that will get them laughed at for the rest of their life. Or something. No, there’s nothing in American law that says you can’t give your children the silliest possible education. If you want, you can teach them that there’s a chocolate tea cup circulating around the sun and the moon is made of gorgonzola. It’s not nice, but you’re allowed

Unbelievable as it may be, but more than four in 10 Americans continue to believe that God created the Earth and humans less than 10,000 years ago. I’m sure the majority of those 40% live down here in the bible belt, but even more terrifying is they occupy Congress and the Senate.


 

Tuesday – hot and sunny and not humid.

 

Angel Oak tree. No it's not an angel and oak tree.

Angel Oak tree. No it’s not an angel and oak tree.

Weathers back to normal, thank the FSM.

Up and out to the gym, with lady Fitbit. Not too early though.

Looking around the gym is somewhat disheartening. Average age must be 70. Then you realise this is your age group, we’re well on your way to the big 70. Mind you it’s so much better than the alternative – we’re the lucky ones. After all who wants to be dwelling for ever in the fire, drinking boiling water, whilst surrounded by jihadi dickheads swigging back rivers of wine, while copulating with 70 voluptuous breasted, black eyed, perpetual virgins.

Maker of our Sweetgrass Basket in action.

Maker of our Sweetgrass Basket in action.

After lunch we have a drive up to the Angel Oak. A 400 year old Living Oak tree, on crutches to stop it collapsing.

As with all attractions American there’s a merchandising opportunity, even if it is in a rickety wood shack that may collapse around our ears at any moment. In there though is a black (yes you can say that in America) lady making Sweetgrass Baskets. She just so happens to have a lovely Elephant Ears basket. Quite a big one and just like we’ve been looking for. It seems to my now tutored eye to be well made and after some haggling we agree on a price, heavily discounted for cash.

Afternoon tea with skimmed milk of course. One has to have standards, none of this sloppy American tea making with  cream or half an half will do.

Afternoon tea with skimmed milk of course. One has to have standards, none of this sloppy American tea making with cream or half an half will do.

Then it’s off down to Folly Beach. Quite a nice little hamlet with a fishing pier and best of all free parking. Have a Starbucks at the hotel on the beach. All very relaxing as we watch the surfers and dolphins.

Folly beach fishing pier.

Folly beach fishing pier.

Pleasant end to another pleasant day.


Rant of the day
TOP ECONOMIST SAYS COST OF LIVING WILL FALL BY 8 PER CENT ON DAY ONE IF BRITAIN LEAVES THE EU:

Let’s get out and get our sovereignty back in the bargain.


 

Wednesday – hot and sunny and not humid.

 

Wendy with the number 3 tourist attraction in Charleston - pots for rags.

Wendy with the number 3 tourist attraction in Charleston – pots for rags.

Set off down to Charleston. Do the Fort Sumter tour. Very pleasant, a leisurely 30 minute ride out by boat; one hour on the fort where you can listen to a ranger give a most passionate and interesting lecture on the fort; wander around at your leisure; a small museum; a small merchandising opportunity; a pleasant boat trip back.

Fort Sumter Where the American Civil War Began

Fort Sumter

Fort Sumter

Decades of growing strife between North and South erupted in civil war on April 12, 1861, when Confederate artillery opened fire on this Federal fort in Charleston Harbor. Fort Sumter surrendered 34 hours later. Union forces would try for nearly four years to take it back.

Then do a 90 minute bus tour of Charleston. All very interesting and elegant but our tour guide has the most mono-tonal drawl we’ve ever encountered. We have to keep pinching one another to stay awake. The complete opposite of the passionate talk given by the ranger.

National Park ranger with such passion for her subject.

National Park ranger with such passion for her subject.

Catch the trolley down to the Apple store for a viewing of the new iPad Pro. Wow it’s fast, reckoned to be faster than 90% of todays laptops. Great screen and keyboard (not that they have any) seems to work well. Awesome for viewing TV or movies. Do we keep up to date? Hopefully it’ll replace my need for the a Macbook, and thereby save me a fortune and all that extra kit to lug around. With the keyboard I think I can do away with my MacBook. Do we or don’t we? We do.

Followed by a well deserved Starbucks, a stroll back to the car and home.

Another full day. Another great day. An expensive day.

Fort Sumter.

Fort Sumter.

Can you believe it? According to Trip Advisor the number 3 attraction in Charlestone is a bridge. Is Charleston so bereft of attractions that a bridge rates so highly. I think not. I rate Trip advisor, use it to plan visits and write reviews, but come on it’s a bridge. You can walk over it and drive over it and it’s modern, but 2,048 reviews – I bet they’re all vegetarian train spotters. Blimey, people will be writing reviews on the 4th tree on the right in park. No ones written a review on the Apple Store – yet!

It seems our fate around here to always end up in the rush hour traffic going home. It’s particularly bad due to the bridges. If there’s a boat going through one of the draw bridges well you might as well get your sleeping bag out and kip down for the night.

“Can’t see them in the dark because they’re black” says Wendy. Pardon, you can’t say that. You’ll be banning off white people going out after sunset next. Ironically we have this discussion at dusk, whilst whiling away a few hours in traffic, and then driving home, late and dark, down an unlit road which is just a tunnel of living oaks, out pops a black man. I swear he was in brown – camouflage – and attempting to do jumping jacks in the middle of the road. Fortunately I miss him, but I’ll be back tomorrow night.


Rant of the day
DSC_6705Talk about more security, more delays at airports, and yet:

On Tuesday the Homeland Security department’s inspector-general, John Roth, told the congressional oversight committee that in 95% of cases, his agents were able to get smuggled fake explosives and other banned devices through all the screening and pat-downs.

“The failures included failures in technology, TSA procedures and human error. We found layers of security simply missing.” He added, with devastating effect: “These results were not unexpected.”

If the bomb was planted by airport staff there can surely be no benefit to putting passengers through more trials and tribulations.

The Israelis laugh at us for our approach. They say that we look for bombs, they look for bombers. Of course that means profiling which our rather compulsive desire not to cause offense prevents us from doing.

Surfing off Folly beach.

Surfing off Folly beach.

Until they start profiling how can we ever have any respect for these security charades. Let’s face it not only are they wasting money and making life miserable, they’re putting our lives at increased risk by not doing the job properly.

PROFILE YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE. On top of which it might make the so called moderate muslims take a more active stance against these fanatical barbarians who are turning the World against their so called religion.


Religious rant of the day
Typical muslim gratitude.

Fort Sumter

Fort Sumter

A formal lunch between the French president and his Iranian counterpart during next week’s historic meeting has had to be scrapped after the Elysée Palace reportedly refused Iran’s request to serve up halal meat and no wine. It appears the Iranian presidency’s request for halal meat to be served and for the wine to be left off the table, which is a common request by Iran, was rejected by officials at the Elysée. “A meal had been planned but fell through,”.

In an attempt to reach a compromise, the Elysée suggested a breakfast meeting instead, but this was reportedly rejected by the Iranians as being “too cheap”.

What can you expect. Perhaps this geezers not bothered to read the Quran, the pure word of Allah, for it seems alcohols ok in paradise.

Elegant styled Charleston home.

Elegant styled Charleston home.

Quran 47:15 “…..rivers of milk of which the taste never changes; rivers of wine delicious to those who drink; and rivers of clarified honey (clear and pure) therein for them is every kind of fruit”. It seems though that us infidels – Peace be upon the FSM – will have to rot in hell and “…..shall dwell for ever in the Fire, and be given, to drink, boiling water, so that it cuts up their bowels….”

Good for Hollande. His only mistake was inviting the barbarians in the first place.

20151105 – Savannah; Mount Pleasant

Thursday – hot and overcast.

 

World famous Savannah fountain.

World famous Savannah fountain.

Drive up to Savannah for a couple of days.

Straight to the visitors centre. Pick up a hop on and off trolley tour. One of the best tours ever. Great guide and such an awesome city. They’ve done a great job of keeping a historic quarter based around the old squares. Dates back to the 1700’s, so most Americans get orgasmic about it.

Founder of Savannah. A Brit General James Oglethorpe

Founder of Savannah. A Brit General James Oglethorpe.


Savannah’s recorded history begins in 1733. That’s the year General James Oglethorpe and the 120 passengers of the good ship “Anne” landed on a bluff high along the Savannah River in February. Oglethorpe named the 13th and final American colony “Georgia” after England’s King George II.

Have a pleasant stroll down the river front, but a tad seedy compared to the rest. Finally find somewhere for Wendy to have lunch, which is no mean feat. It has to meet exacting criteria, portions not too big; a sandwich or a soup; no formal lunch; if they don’t know what the soup of the day is, a sure sign of a crap establishment; plenty of people eating there; not too dark, seedy or dirty; no high stools, we don’t want nose bleeds or vertigo. My criteria, thankfully, are somewhat simpler – do you serve coffee?

Then it’s back on the trolley for the rest of the tour and a walk around the Market.

Blue Mountain coffee at Starbucks.

Blue Mountain coffee at Starbucks.

Afternoon tea in Savannah outside Starbucks. Well Earl Grey for the Fitbit lady and a free Jamaica Blue Mountain for the nerd. Reputed to be the best coffee in the World, with the exception of Kopi luwakk or civet coffee that includes part-digested coffee cherries eaten and then crapped out by the Asian palm civet bird.

Lovely relaxing city and fortunately it’s overcast so not too hot and humid.

Stop in a Comfort Suite for the night. In the evening we go out for dinner, right next to our hotel.

So why am in Cracker Barrel? Of course. It’s so obvious now you’ve pointed it out. I suppose my innate sense of modesty must have precluded my realising it. I’m just the perfect husband. Aren’t you so lucky being married to me?


Rant of the day
IMG_7172What is this American obsession with road signs. Here we are in one of hottest parts of America with hardly any winter and yet I am constantly being warned, twice before each bridge, that they ice over before the road.

Then we have the frequent Hurricane info signs, so frequent you start to fear that they’re a daily occurrence and any moment you’ll be swept off the highway.

In case I suddenly have an urge to picnic or camp on the median I’m warned to “Keep Off The Median”. As it’s protected by a crash barrier and I don’t have wings, how the hell am I expected to get on it.

I suppose the award of Merit must go to the “One Way” signs, posted at every intersection or median crossover. Not just one of them, but two, one on each side of the road. Then followed up a 100 feet later by 2 “Wrong Way” signs just in case you’re a Brit hankering for your divine right to drive on the left, or were on a FaceTime call when you passed the first. Yes, that’s right 4 signs.

when I get home I’m signing up for a speed reading course.

But best of all is the sign “No Littering. $1,000 fine and prison”. Now that’s what I call retribution and how to deal with scrots, bring it on.


 

Friday – hot and sunny.

 

Yet another lovely square.

Yet another lovely square.

Wendy’s Fitbit lasted all of 1 day. Before giving up on her. Take it back to Target for a replacement. This time we go for the one without the Heart Rate monitor. She only choose that model for the colour but it seems the HR aspect has lots of problems.

Target being a French owned store ww were expecting typical French service, a rude sour faced shrug and gaelic dismissal, and fear that all their customer service personnel were sent to Paris for World Class rudeness training. But we have to quell our disparaging thoughts. Excellent service. No questions asked, money straight back on our card and with a smile and apology for the inconvenience.

Given such good service we buy the next model down from them as a replacement.

Best ice cream in Savannah.

Best ice cream in Savannah.

Then it’s back down to Savannah’s historic district. This time we’re going to walk the area. Visit most of the squares and see the World famous Forrest Gump site – sad isn’t it.

For the first time in years I have a formal lunch. Sat outside Leopolds famous ice-cream store, in the sun. Well it would be in the sun if it wasn’t for these dark shadows constantly causing a total eclipse. Is it a cloud, is it an eclipse, is it a dirigible? No its a perambulating giant heap of adipose tissue, a lummox, or better known as a blobby. This place is a lummox magnet, over 60% of the clientele must have escaped from the clinically obese hall of fame, and they’re queueing out to the door. Poor Wendy risks being crushed between belly and buttocks in that queue. And what did I have for my lunch? An excellent coconut ice cream – how’s that for living.

Owen Thomas house

Owen Thomas house

Then visit the Owen Thomas house and take the tour of the house and slave quarters. One of the best homes in the area. Built in 1819 by an English architect. Allegedly the first home in America to have running water, flush toilets and even a shower.

After 5 hours in the gruelling humidity and sun we head back home to Seabrook Island. Really enjoyed all of Savannah. Well worth the +2 hour drive.


My sorry sense of humour

Dave Allen on sex:


Rant of the day
Savannah

Savannah

That’s it I’m flying El Al wherever possible – only round trips to Israel from now on. The safest airline in the world. Why?At its main hub near Tel Aviv hold bags are put through a decompression chamber that simulates the atmospheric pressure changes that can set off bombs in flight (stand well back). And on each flight it has armed air marshals masquerading as ordinary passengers.

But the main difference between its policy and the rest of the loony PC World is that El Al practises so-called profiling of passengers. Put bluntly, it subjects Muslim passengers to far more stringent security checks than it does Jewish or Christian ones. Yeah, there’s one for common sense. This is something that for political reasons is simply not contemplated by American or British authorities.

In 2010 the then chairman of BA, Martin Broughton, railed unavailingly at what he called “completely redundant” checks demanded by America and followed unquestioningly by the British. Our airports had brought in scanners that meant it would no longer be necessary for passengers to take out their laptop computers for separate scrutiny. But even so, under US pressure, this procedure was and is still insisted upon.


 

Saturday – hot and sunny.

 

Wendy on the pier at Mount Pleasant.

Wendy on the pier at Mount Pleasant.

Off down to Mount Pleasant. Visit the Pier and park and have yet another lavish lunch.

Interesting talk from a black lady whose Sweetgrass Baskets are World famous and on display in the Smithsonian. Tells us about the history of these baskets. She shows us how it’s done and tells us how it has been passed down from her Grandma and through the family.

The Gullah tradition of creating coiled grass baskets is a craft that has been handed down from generation to generation. Instead of weaving the baskets, a needle made from a spoon handle, bone or nail is used to sew natural materials together. The most commonly used materials are sweetgrass, palmetto leaves, longleaf pine needles and a marsh grass called black rush.

“Fannah” or fanner baskets made this way were used to process rice on the plantations. A person would fan rice by tossing it in the air to separate the chaff from the hull. West Africans still use these large, round, shallow baskets when farming rice the old way.

Take a drive down the barrier islands of Mount Pleasant.

Then have a drive down US17 to examine a few of the Sweetgrass Baskets. Try to find a reasonably priced and well made Elephant Ear basket. Not much luck.

Elephant Ear Sweetgrass basket.

Elephant Ear Sweetgrass basket.

Finally get to the Mall so Wendy can yet again immerse herself in Bath & Bodyworks. Only way to cope with that is a coffee in the illegitimate Starbucks in Barnes & Noble.

For me I end a good day with a short trip to the gym, followed by a rather excellent Red Zinfandel.


Rant of the day

Another good one from Pat Condell:

Let’s get out.


Religious rant of the day
2015-11-04

20151101 – Seabrook Island; Is That Really A Rattler? Charleston The South Carolina One

Sunday – hot and sunny.

 

Lounge.

Lounge.

Settled into our Home Exchange for the next two weeks here at Seabrook Island. It’s a lovely one bedroom condo looking out onto the marshes and river, complete with car – big SUV, we can live in it if need be – fly proof balcony, bikes and two kayaks. All mod cons (with the exception of a kettle – a rare piece of high tech in most American homes), very comfortable and we instantly feel at home. To top it all off it has 35Mbps Internet to calm the rants of a nerd constantly battling with technology and web sites that are about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.

Our balcony

Our balcony

Take the Hertz mobile back to the airport. Classic isn’t it, I’m in the tank and Wendy’s following. Get to the Hertz return and big sign “No Personal cars”. What they expect me to go and park up in the car park 2 miles away and Wendy to then walk to it after she’s dropped the car off. Get a friggin grip, this is America, land of the wobbling jollux, nobody but nobody walks. Who the hell pays their wages – yes it’s me the guy who keeps having the delusion he’s a customer.

Drive down to Charleston. What a lovely city. They have streets with shops in, how unusual. Not just homogenous multi- national chains either, but individual shops with some character. All very pleasant, but best of all they have an Apple store and it has a little black box with my name on it. I pre-ordered the Apple TV for in-store pick up, as usual all very efficient. Like a kid with a new toy to play with.

Kitchen.

Kitchen.

Surprisingly busy for a downtown on a Sunday. Oh so nice to see a vibrant downtown rather than a charity shop ghost town created via some giant plastic out of town mall.

My it is hot and oh so humid you could beat the water out of the air with a boat paddle. End up wetter than a water hogs backside. Summer here must be more humid and hotter than hell and half of Georgia.

Good visitors centre.


Rant of the day
Bedroom leads onto balcony.

Bedroom leads onto balcony.

Has anyone noticed the rise of the exelator hand dryers in toilets. You know those hand dryers which force out a blast of supersonic air that knocks you off your feet and requires you to wear ear defenders before operating. They’re louder than sticking your head up the exhaust of Concords jet engine. Now in the land where you can sue for coffee cups not carrying a danger warning, and microwaves ovens not explicitly warning you not to dry your poodle, I’m thinking of going for a class action for damages to my hearing.

 

Monday – cloudy, very humid and hot.

 

"Are we there yet?"

“Are we there yet?”

Off for a bike ride around the Island.

We’ve got bikes with the home exchange and whilst not wanting to sound un appreciative they lack brakes and gears. To stop you have to back peddle. No gears is not an issue as the Islands very flat, but no brakes makes them a H&S nightmare. I suppose their only saving grace is that they have fewer parts to go wrong.

As usual Wendy whining like a two year old. “You never told me it was this far”. “Are we there yet”?

Poor wee thing nearly got run over. I think it's a Pigmy  Rattlesnake, but can't be sure as its label had dropped off. Certainly stood its ground, showed me his dentures and tried to rattle its tail.

Poor wee thing nearly got run over. I think it’s a Pigmy Rattlesnake, but can’t be sure as its label had dropped off. Certainly stood its ground, showed me his dentures and tried to rattle its tail.

We finally get to the Beach House with my ears ringing from the whinging tirade, and the whining increases to a crescendo of vitriol when we find it’s closed for the season so no drinks. All my fault of course.

Wendy just about survives.

Have some lunch and then drive down to the Island shops – yes these are open. Have a wander around some pleasant but very expensive shops selling all the usual tat you need for up market Island living. Everything from Martini glasses to kayaks and Starbucks coffee to star fruits.


Rant of the day
Sadly too many aspect of this are too true:

To say nothing of the £13,000,000,000 (Yes, that’t the correct number of zeroes) we give away in foreign aid to corrupt states; rogue states who support terrorism; countries who hate us; countries with nuclear weapons and countries with space programmes.


 

Tuesday – cloudy, humid and lots of rain – a frog strangler.

 

Great Gym at the Lakehouse club.

Great Gym at the Lakehouse club.

It’s raining and in for the day so we hunker down.

Off to the gym at Seabrook Lakehouse. Membership comes free with our home exchange. Great gym and good sized indoor laps pool.

It’s good to know that female intellectual stimulation and high standards of literacy is ubiquitous in America, as evidenced by the lady on the walking machine, who was avidly reading some supermarket flyer full of special offer adverts.


Rant of the day

Lakehouse club.

Lakehouse club.

Today’s stupidity of the day award goes to the designers of the 2005 Chevrolet Tahoe, the tank I’m driving around in. The numbskulls in the BBC iPlayer software team can relax, have a day off. It seems the Chevy designers have created the ultimate toe breaker in the form of their foot brake which when released springs up like a blacksmiths hammer at the speed of sound and can break any bones within range. For this innovation in stupidity they receive “The 2015 Broken Toe Award” – fortunately toes not broken.


 

Wednesday – cloudy, humid and hot.

 

Only in America. It's a wonder you don't have to sign a waiver if you go near.

Only in America. It’s a wonder you don’t have to sign a waiver if you go near.

Set off down to Charleston. Catch the free trolley bus to riverfront. Have a walk back and after inspecting many prospects for lunch settle on Starbucks once again. See a lovely Elephant Ear Sweetgrass bowl, similar to the one in the condo, all for $250. Tempting, a tad pricey but they are rather magnificent and 80 hours work.

Then we drive down to Mount Pleasant for a look around. See some more Sweetgrass bowls.

Wendy is now a Fitbit as I treat her to the Fitbit HR. I think she’s going to start training for a marathon.

Gym is open in the evening so I have a quick trip to the gym before me tea. Finish the day off with a drop of red.


My sorry sense of humour

Dave Allen on airplanes:

What an awesome comedian from the past.


Rant of the day

Charleston

Charleston

No need to read the daily blood boiler (daily mail) for today’s political dhimmi multicultural lunacy, even the thunderer (the times) has me blood evaporating from my ears. Yet more Barbaric ancient dietary practices dictating 21st century British meat production.

Millions of chickens will suffer painful deaths because ministers want to protect “religious freedoms” for Muslims and Jews.

The government is refusing to introduce a more reliable method of stunning the animals before they are killed, according to vets. Rules coming into force in England tomorrow could result in birds remaining conscious and able to feel pain after being dipped in an electrical water bath.

Simple if you don’t like the way we do things then leave.


Religious rant of the day

Charleston old courthouse.

Charleston old courthouse.

Well I’ve read the Koran, two autobiographies of Mohammed and a BBC series on his life. Know thine enemy. Why, because I truly fear for this country and my grandchildren. Make no mistake about it this barbaric ideology wants total World domination. Forget good Muslims, of course they exist, but their voices will be drowned out with the fear of apostasy. It’s simple Islam wants World domination, the Caliphate and sharia law everywhere.

Charleston harbour area.

Charleston harbour area.

The Koran seems to be the most incoherent, rambling, hate ridden, inconsistent fairly tale ever. I’m sure if anyone wrote that in this day and age they’d be tried for hate speech, but would certainly get off on the grounds of insanity. If this is the unadulterated word of a supreme bogey man in the sky then how come it contradicts itself in so many place. How come it is so unclear that so called religious scholars committee blasphemy by trying to interpret it. Surely a supreme being would be capable of setting down his words clearly, with no need for interpretation or possibility of misunderstanding, and that would stand for all time. Look at the 10 commandments.

She's now a fitbit.

She’s now a fitbit.

Then we come onto Mohammed. Judging by the 3 sources I’ve used you’d think they were 3 different individuals, or more likely he was a big time schizophrenic – all 3 of him. Contradictions abound. In later life he seems to have manipulated revelations to his own more barbaric ends. The religion even has a way of dealing with these contradictions. It’s called abrogation, as set out in the Koran. If in doubt his later pronouncements – more evil and barbaric – override his earlier revelations.

So this supreme bogey man in the sky is so supreme that his memory is that bad he can’t remember what he’s said, and even contradicts himself – I rest my case.

20151029 – Gardens and Statues; Swamp Tour With a Unicorn; Bah Humbug Halloween Again

Thursday – hot and sunny again.

 

Early morning stroll.

Early morning stroll.

Start the days with a pleasant hours stroll along the beach. Then back home for coffee and daily dose of depression as I read the Thunderer – daily papers. Mind you could have been worse, I could have read the daily blood Boiler (Daily Mail), enough to make anybody read to slit their own throat with a blunt bread knife. Fortunately being 3,000 miles away does tend to ease the searing frustration at the daily stupidity of our politicians, and things are just as bad in the USA but at least it’s not my problem / country.

Wendy says "What a pervert". No appreciation of art I say.

Wendy says “What a pervert”. No appreciation of art I say.

After lunch we toddle off down to Brookgreen Gardens. Gardens, massive sculpture park and small zoo, a geriatrics paradise. You really know you’re in your twilight years when you start going to places like this. Even more so when you enjoy them. Kids will be dusting off the Last Will & Testament, lining up nursing homes, bibs for dribbles, zimmer frames and hearing aides. Anyway interesting guided tour from a volunteer docent.

Artistic sculpture has Wendy seal of approval. No nudity.

Artistic sculpture has Wendy seal of approval. No nudity.

Oh forget to mention our welcoming image as we drove into South Carolina the other day. A giant billboard – “Drive Through Prayers”. Only on a Thursday though. Only in America. Well I suppose along with the 1st Amendment defying blue laws on alcohol retail therapy, it does help remind you that you are in the Bible belt, where the earth is only 6,000 years old, or thereabouts, and the Theory of Evolution is heresy for which you can probably be burnt on a KKK cross.

Charming little creature.

Charming little creature.

Mind you when you ponder it there are probably lots of other drive through opportunities, the land of the dollar is missing out on. How about drive through nail parlour, just stick your hands out; drive through chiropodist, just stick your feet out; drive through barbers, just stick your head out; drive through brothel, just stick …, no forget that one, a bit too silly even for the USA; drive through confessions; drive through divorce, just toss your spouse out; drive through psychiatrist. Enough.

Road runner versus rattle snake. Who wins?


My sorry sense of humour

I think I’ll pass.


Rant of the day
Slow down as you leave:

I think some knuckleheads have had their brains dropout. About as sensible as putting the sign the wrong way on a one way street. How do these dorks get jobs? Even more worrying how do they keep them?


Religious rant of the day
The Alley of Oaks at Brookgreen Park. Love the Spanish moss, not so sure about the dangling fairy lights. So if one bulb fails do all the rest pack up!

The Alley of Oaks at Brookgreen Park. Love the Spanish moss, not so sure about the dangling fairy lights. So if one bulb fails do all the rest pack up!


Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Pastafarian headgear is allowed in UK licenses.

So I checked back in on one of my fave sites and amongst other wonderful things, I notice that poor ‘Ian Harris from Wales’ failed to get his drivers license approved due to him respectfully wearing a (similarly aged as himself) colander.

I have been sporting a rather dandy Pirate headpiece for some time now, (originally inspired by Niko Alm) so thought I’d share.

I must admit, the DVLA did send my application back, stating that I was ‘wearing a hat’ and so I returned it asking for them to respect my religious beliefs/headwear. And that was that!

My passport expires in 2019, where I will be pushing for the ‘eye-patch’ combo.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster prevails.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster prevails.

Interesting that some places are cool with Pastafarian headgear on Official documents, and some are not. Probably it comes down to the opinion (and mood) of the person behind the desk, and maybe that’s ok.

I think the more instances of approval by government bureaucrats we get, the stronger our case for recognized legitimacy. It’s getting harder and harder for anyone to say this is all a joke, when we can point to dozens or hundreds of examples where government officials have looked over our documents and said OK. I feel like we’re making progress getting in the back door.

Thanks very much to Colin and all the others who have been fighting for our rights.


 

Friday – hot and sunny.

 

Swamp tour.

Swamp tour.

Up at the crack of sparrows to go for a guided Kayak tour with Chris and Jane of Gator Bait Tours, they get a honourable mention in despatches, especially as Jane was dressed as a unicorn – yes first name terms and they’ve even increased my blog following by 25%. Different part of the Waccamaw National Wildlife Refuge, Waccamaw river / swamp for this tour.
Just catching some sun to improve my tan.

Just catching some sun to improve my tan.

Don’t see a great deal of wildlife, I think gators are scared witless of unicorns, but it’s just great being out there, so laid back and relaxing. Chris and Jane are great hosts and yet again it’s just the three of us. A great way to spend a couple of hours. They have an amazing passion for kayaking and the nature reserve, all the time they collect the detritus that the scrots of the World have just tossed aside.

Now if we had any sense from our politicians litter louts would have the punishment fit the crime. Here’s 4 giant skips, now tootle off and in your spare time fill them with litter. And best of all would be the fitting punishment for the chewing gum gobbers, yes they’d have to fill one skip – wouldn’t want to seem unreasonable or too harsh – with gum scrapped up off the pavements. Problem solved.

Swamp tour.

Swamp tour.

Really must get a kayak when we get back to the UK.

Wendy stays at the condo beavering away doing a tidy up and packing. Did offer help but, thankfully, she’d rather have me from under the feet. Whatever I’ve done to deserve that I obviously need to keep it up.

Apparently Wendy saw more wildlife up close and personal. A Red Tailed Hawk purchased on our balcony and started trying to wake the neighbourhood up. How neat is that. Sadly when Wendy tried to get a photograph it took umbrage and departed.

After lunch I venture down to the pool for some Kindle time. Don’t last long, too hot and really not my scene.

Before tea, well dinner as know in the posher households, we have a final stroll down the beach. It’s so much nicer when the tides out.


Rant of the day
Bill Maher and the search for Americas craziest congressman:

We could do this for our stupidest MP. There be plenty to choose from.


Religious rant of the day
2015-10-28

 

Saturday – hot and sunny.

 

Two little ducks.

Two little ducks.

Well it’s good by Myrtle Beach. Thankfully we were at Surfside Beach a tad more civilised. Just one visit down to the centre of Myrtle Beach was enough, a poor mans Blackpool. Goodbye fast food; goodbye beachwear shops; goodbye crazy golf that look like Himalayan paddy fields with their glow in the dark water; goodbye nail salons; goodbye seafood buffets and of course goodbye the inevitable amusement arcades.

Set off down to our next 2 week home exchange at Seabrook Island, just South of Charleston. Still in South Carolina, still in the Bible belt. At least the fear of a “Deliverance” encounter is receding.

Fortunately just a 2 hour drive. Soon get settled in and then it’s off to the local supermarket – almost a Wholefoods – and thankfully a Starbucks to while away the hours while Wendy checks every item and sell by date.


Rant of the day
Stalking his prey.

Stalking his prey.

Now it’s no secret that I love American junk food, but I don’t love scruffy, dirty and slovenly dressed staff. What is it with these National brands. Do they have no dress code. Oh Of course they do, it’s dirty and frayed jeans; stained and dirty tee shirts; a hotch-potch of clothing, last seen on a scare crow; unwashed and unshaven waiters, and that’s just the women; not to mention piercings that clank like the chains of Jacob Marley and the ghost of Christmas past as they walk; tattoos that would given even an adult nightmares. Come on corporate junk food America smarten your ideas and your staff up.

Religious rant of the day

Needs his or her teeth cleaning.

Needs his or her teeth cleaning.

Well it’s Halloween again, an annual Western celebration based on Celtic and European pagan doctrines and traditionally applied to the evening of October 31st. It is derived from rituals involving dead spirits and devil worship and symbolizes the beginning of the ancient Druid’s New Year, who holds that the dead revisit their homes at that time. Sounds good so far, and no more bat shit crazy than travelling thousands of miles to perambulate around a big black stone in a white ghost sheet.

Here’s Islam’s view:

“In essence, Halloween represents the devil worshipper’s New Year. Muslim celebration of such a day is therefore sinful and haram, as it involves the most evil elements of polytheism and disbelief.”

“Whether Christians accept it or not, we Muslims should not accept this holiday. It is meaningless. Wearing costumes, going tricking and treating and decorating houses with witches, spider nets and wasting so much pumpkins, etc., are all repugnant things.”

“It is strange to see reasonable people acting as weirdo and doing foolish things. It is also becoming quite dangerous nowadays. Some people really act like monsters and witches. Muslims should not participate in this holiday.”

And here we are in USA again amidst all the hype and raz mataz. For my money I think it’s all a marketing con trick to extract money from the gullible and feeble minded. It’s spread like an aerosol born plague across the Atlantic and now the UK’s infected. What a spoilsport. But the good news is if every day, you wear a ghoulish black costume – similar to a Burkha I suppose – smear yourself with lard, munch on a bag of pork scratchins and walk with a dog, then you have an instant and effective muslim repellant, better than any DDT or Marmite. Oh the lunacy of it all.