Monthly Archives: February 2013

20130219 – Presidents Day

Monday – a Blue Bird ski day, blue sky, sun but cold.


Happy Presidents Day – or whatever you say on this auspicious occasion. Pity there’s so many want to ski PC today.

Up and out at the crack o sparrows to be in the lift line for 09:00 and catch first tracks. One of the busiest days of the year. I managed a great mornings skiing with hardly any queues, apart from the odd one down at Silver Load – now there’s surprise. If you know the mountain you can avoid the busy slopes and quite a few runs were empty. An energetic but awesome mornings skiing. By lunch time I was totally knackered, had really filled my boots with a great mountain tour – see map and profile. 

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Met Wendy for lunch at Payday restaurant. After a knitting session she’d managed a two mile walk up towards the slopes and then caught the free bus to Payday. Being the lavish people we are, Wendy smuggled in some buttes – nobody really cares if you eat your own.

Then it’s back to the condo for a few enjoyable hours work on my super fast wifi. What a grand life.

By 21:00 I’m ready for bed.

Buddha images have joined Barbie dolls and characters from The Simpsons TV cartoon as banned items in Iran. 

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito’s:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be how???….)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s “just” a suggestion).

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh)!

Tuesday – another Blue Bird day but very windy and cold. Especially when we’re swing in the wind on those lifts.

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Mind you it must be a Blue Bird day as Wendy comes skiing. She drops me off at 08:45 and today I’m first in line for the lift. More first tracks skiing by 10:30 I’ve been at it non-stop. No Queues. The Presidents day crowds have all gone back to work so it’s very quiet. Just lift, ski, lift, ski.

Meet Wendy down at the bottom and we both ski with Carol and 3 year old Angela. More Wendy’s type of skiing. Mind you having said that at 3 years old Angela is quite nippy and of course has no fear. 

Rest of the morning is an easy and relaxing ski. Watching a 3 year old ski brings back happy memories of Kurt skiing at that age. No fear; straight down; fantastic snow plough turns; on the easier sections skis come parallel but always wide apart and sat back on them; if they fall they just bounce back up.

Then it’s a late lunch at the Corner Store sat outside in a great sun trap. Great location, good food and cheaper than the main lodge.

Another awesome day.

Yet more stupid labels:

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” (…and you thought????…)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me more time?)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (and.. .I’m taking this because???….)

On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to…what?)

Wednesday – cloud and sun.


!st in line this morning. Is that enthusiasm or madness?

In the afternoon Wendy gets her treat of the week with a trip to the supermarket and I manage to get some work done.

Yet more stupid labels:

On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.” (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as ” to be used for intended use only” basically what it means is don’t use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol)

On Sunsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)


On a child’s superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Thursday – sun and some snow.

Up and out early to enjoy the best of the 5″ fresh powder promised. Where is it? Yet another false promise the weather forecasters must be politicians. I suppose I should be grateful for just 1″.

Another good mornings skiing.

Met Wendy for lunch up at Payday. 

Pick Chris and D’Shaun up at  the airport in the evening.

Friday – sun and cloud but pretty cold 27F.


Everyone up at the crack o sparrows. All kitted out and on the slopes by 09:00. I take Chris and D’Shaun on a leisurely mountain tour whilst they get their ski and boarders legs. Yes, I have to be honest and admit that I was out skiing with a snowboarder (D’Shaun). I’m relatively well behaved and limit my quips on snowboarders to a minimum.

Meet Wendy for  sack lunch at Payday. Violate my 1st law and have a beer at lunch time. It’s medicinal as scientific evidence shows that you ski better with some alcohol in you.

Then ski after lunch and Chris and I have the last hour burning up the runs.

Another awesome day and great weather.


Now some of you may be ware of the great British horse meat scandal (horse meat found in beef burgers) – yes another food scandal on our tiny Island. Thankfully we’re away from it all but of course it is still rumbling on with the press milking it for all its worth. Fortunately it’s spawned a whole genre of Horse meat jokes, with the Tesco supermarket as the main brunt of them:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse …. I guess Tesco just listened!
Anyone want a burger from Tesco? Yay or neigh?
Not entirely sure how Tesco is going to get over this hurdle.
Waitress in Tesco asked if I wanted anything on my burger. So I had £5 each way!
Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night … I still have a bit between my teeth.
A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco. Her condition is said to be stable.
Tesco are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of unicorn

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Saturday – snow, 40 mph winds and very cold 21 F.

Up early and out with Chris for a days skiing. Snow huts standing room only as people shelter from the storm. 4″ of new snow falls during the day so makes some great skiing. For the first time in ages Powder Keg was groomed (double blue) overnight. Normally it’s just heavily mogulled. With the new snow it’s a great run. 4 hours burning up the slopes with Chris. Snowing heavy so some fresh powder and great runs. 40 mph winds, sorts the men from the boys. Can’t believe the maximum speed of 62 mph. These new skis are magic, they do what I want them to.

By 13:00 we’ve filled our boots – see run map and chart. Pick Wendy and De’Shaun up at the Outlets. Looks like they’ve had an expensive morning’s retail therapy. After lunch Chris and De’Shaun go off to explore Main Street in Park City and manage to find a Whisky distillery. We meet up with them in the evening for a good meal in the Red Rock brewery – it’s really buzzing.

More horse meat one liners:

IMG 0881“I’ve just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer … AND THEY’RE OFF”
Tesco now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers, as shoppers confuse barcodes for serving suggestions.
Said to the missus, These Tesco burgers give me the trots….
“To beef or not to beef, that is equestrian”…..
A cow walks into a bar. Barman says, “Why the long face?” Cow says “Illegal ingredients coming over here, stealing our jobs!”
I hear the smaller version of those Tesco burgers make great horse d’oeuvres.
These Tesco burger jokes are going on a bit …. talk about flogging a dead horse.

Just when you think you’re safe from Valentine’s day exploitation, in the land of the mighty dollar, the marketing men are out yet again to further milk the gullible masses with shelves full of St Patricks day tat!

20130214 – Back With the Gunslingers

Thursday – rain as we leave Manchester airport – now there’s a surprise.


As usual it snowed the day before so we end up coming over to an airport hotel the night before. This seems to be a regular feature of our escapes. Driving down Belthorn road Wednesday afternoon in an SUV with the bakes on and it just wouldn’t stop  – like a toboggan ride. Quite scary, fortunately hit nothing.

Typical! I travel in my thongs to make it simple taking off shoes before I go through the airport sterilising machine and the buggers don’t ask me to remove my shoes!

How to in increase the airport misery? Introduce more queues. Two new queues this time:

One to access the manned self check-in machine to print your ticket. Sadly you then have to queue for bag drop. The two transactions take about the same time as the good old one check in, but has the advantage of an extra queue.

Second queue to check that your plastic bag with liquids in is properly sealed (nothing to do with the fact that he’s stood next to the machines selling bags for £1). What difference does it make whether the bag is tightly sealed or not?

If they really cared about my safety why don’t they do the sensible thing and profile. Well we all know why. It’s just not PC – all the more reason to do it. Anything less means they don’t really care!

Flight with Virgin to Las Vegas was very comfortable. New plane, well kitted out and we get bulkhead seats. I complain there’s just too much leg room we have to get up to reach the magazine SANY0079pocket. Wendy’s been complaining to Virgin again (not me), perhaps they’re trying to butter her up.

I’m plodding (I don’t use this term lightly) my way through Richard Dawkins “The Blind Watchmaker” to better understand evolution. Which raises an important, but politically incorrect question. What is the evolutionary advantage for black women tending to have such big, horizontally prominent, arses? Answers kept in the strictest of confidence.

Mr Hertz provides us with a nice SUV upgrade – Chevy Equinox 2LT. Haven’t a clue what LT stands for, never mind why there are two of them. But apparently it has “advanced remote vehicle start” – start your car from in the house!

Hotels in Vegas is comfortable as usual, well at least when we’ve moved from the room with wall that vibrate like a bass speaker.

I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.” Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.


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“I don’t believe it”.

A university graduate has the gaul to claim her back-to-work scheme, that made her stack shelves in return for her benefits (perhaps one could call it “Workfare”), was unlawful. Argued it breached slavery rules. Has the brass neck to take it to court and waste even more taxpayers money. Then to top it all the courts agree with her instead of kicking it out and selling her into slavery to pay the costs.

I’ve no problem with the concept of a welfare state, we never know when we’ll need a helping hand in life, but when will common sense prevail and people who receive benefits be made to do some work in return – WORKFARE. Why can’t our wimpy, hot air politicians just make it happen.

Friday – warm and sunny.

Up at the crack o sparrow’s and on the road to Park City by 07:00. Pleasant drive up. 400 miles and not a traffic jam or serious roadworks in site.

Condo’s very comfy with great views from the balcony. Best of all it has 34 MB wifi – heaven. Picture above on the left is the view from our balcony.

Then it’s a trip to the supermarket for the important things like coffee and wine.

Saturday – 17F first thing but turns into a brilliant blue bird day.

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Nip round to Carols to pick up my skies and gear. Then it’s off to Park City ski resort to buy me season pass and hit the slopes. Costs $850 but works out at less than $30 a day, as opposed to $102 a day at the window.

Despite a late start, get in a good 4 hours skiing and manage to avoid queues and busy runs. This is what it’s all about. Great mountain, great snow and great skiing. I’m at home here. I think the stork must have dropped me off at the wrong place

Free wifi now on the mountain, 7 MB per second. Yes 7 MB and free on top of a mountain. BT struggle to provide 2 MB at home. You can say what you like about America, but apart from their childish and somewhat macho / phallic obsession with guns, it’s civilised.

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” is the founding statement in the declaration American declaration of Independence. But isn’t there now sufficient evidence to show that the 2nd Amendment’s “right to bear arms” actually infringes this by robbing so many Americans of their lives.

I think there’s some fundamental questions all Americans should answer.

“Is the right to bear arms worth even one American life, never mind over +10,000 pa?”

If “No” then go to 1

If “yes” then “Is that right to bear arms worth the life of you or one of your loved ones?”

If  “No” then you’re a selfish bloody hypocrite. Get a life and go to 1.

If “yes” then I still think you’re deranged but I respect your consistent opinion.

1 The solutions really very simple you need to campaign for total gun control – like the British model. Don’t just ban automatics etc. Ban all weapons. I know it will be difficult but think of the lives that will be saved. Oh and forget sporting rifles etc. It would only be sporting if the animals could shoot back – that’d put a few off hunting.

Sunday – cold, sun cloud and some snow.

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Up at crack o sparrows; out at 08:30; arrive at lift just as it’s starting to catch early tracks. It’s well worth the effort to catch the good snow and before it gets too busy. By 10:30 I’m ready for a well earned coffee.

Pack in at lunch time as the snow starts, need my goggles rather than sun glasses.

Singles line is interesting. It seems like it used by groups to jump the queue rather than just singles. I suppose it’s the US equivalent  of parking in disabled slots.

Some 60 year old snowboarders around today. I can’t help thinking that they’re the same as balding Bob Dylan fans with pony tails. Act your age.

After lunch we go for a pleasant stroll in the biting wind to the Outlet stores. As if I haven’t had enough exercise.

Dinner at Hal and Carols in the evening. Great lamb curry. Angela’s chattering away and remembers us from other visit. Met up with Randy again and some of their other friends. Really lively evening, good company, good food and good wine – what more can you want?

Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.

Don’t worry about what people think they don’t do it very often.

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Here we go again from the religion of peace and love.

Extremist muslim websites are abuzz against Muslim members of the British parliament who voted in favour of gay marriage legislation and there are fears that the Muslim parliamentarians could face serious intimidation after extremist clerics issued fatwas against the MPs declaring them to be apostates .

At least three Pakistani clerics have said that these MPs needed to repent and renew their faith, which means that they stand expelled from the Islam for supporting same sex marriages. They have also said that their Islamic marriages stand annulled and they needed to read Kalma again to become Muslims.

Police forces in Britain have taken notice of the fatwas and the threats against the MPs. Also, the MPs have privately said that they fear for their lives after the delivery of fatwas on them by clerics.

Good for them for standing up for what they believe in. As a bonus it looks like not only have they been cast out of this pernicious religion, but they’ve also got the chance to get a new mrs! They should rejoice.

Photos are from previous visits as we’ve that many of Park City there’s nothing left to take!