Monthly Archives: February 2016

20160226 – Jasper Arrives, Is He Virgin Atlantic’s Youngest Pilot?

Friday – hot and sunny

Another blue bird day. Ski with Helen and others over at the Canyons. Sadly by 14:00 we’re skiing on a slush puppy it’s too warm. However snow over at Park City doesn’t seem as bad. No doubt about it, Park City is so much better.

 
Well the great BREXIT debate has started. Will we ever get the objective facts on which to make an informed decision? Will most people bother?

As it stands I’m all for getting off the sinking ship and starting to put the GREAT back into Britain, but I wait to be convinced otherwise.

In the spirit of those great ranters like Victor Meldrew, Pat Condell, Jeremy Clarkson and George Carlin I start a separate section on my blog for EU rants and jokes. Sadly my rants will be nowhere near as eloquent or vitriolic as those greats.

Let’s start off with two subtle but classic EU jokes:

We shouldn’t go on saying that we are ‘giving’ our Sovereignty away; we are actually paying Brussels tens of billions of pounds a year to take it.

If the EU applied to join itself, it wouldn’t have a hope of being accepted, given its clear lack of democracy (the ‘democratic deficit’ in Eurospeak).

Sadly both are too true.

Religion – Beyond Belief

 
Wake up, this is an absolute disgrace. How have we ever been dhimi enough to let this come about? How are we so PC stupid as to let these courts continue:

http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/news/uk_news/Crime/article1672846.ece


Saturday – hot and sunny

No skiing today. I make the supreme sacrifice in order to pick the Hertzmobile up – a nice RAV4, it had better snow over Sunday night now I’ve splashed out on a 4WD SUV? Go with Wendy down to Costco. Manage to get a kids safety gate for the vast sum of $5 from the Christian Aid Centre. Amazing what you can get, including some great kids toys for a few dollars, and it all goes to a great cause.

Costco is dire. I’m sure most people come here to graze the samples for a free lunch. Wendy enjoys herself rummaging amongs the meats, whilst I struggle to remain sane and awake. Must bring ear pods next time.

For tea we have a great pastrami and corn beef on rye from the Pickle Jar, a traditional New York deli.

My Sick Humour

 
Regan versus Obama on socialism:

 
Not that the EU is a barrel of laughs but at least Some EU Humour makes it less abysmal:

A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese go into a bar and order a drink. Who picks up the bill? 
A German.



The Eurozone credit ratings are like a frying pan.
Greece at the bottom…



Oh dear. The eurozone’s Facebook page has changed its currency status from ‘single’ to ‘it’s complicated’.



NEWS FLASH: Greece has approached the IMF for a €60bn loan after they were turned down by Wonga

.

The eurozone leaders are looking for a stimulus package. Silvio Berlusconi suggests two Viagra and a Red Bull.


Sunday – hot and sunny

Part of my daily commute. Beats working for a living.

Part of my daily commute. Beats working for a living.

Another blue bird day so up and on the lifts for 09:00. Even though we’ve got a car I catch the bus, it’s so much easier.

image
Planned on a lazy mornings skiing. Bump into Helen & Geoorge so have a good mornings skiing with Helen, along with a dirty chai coffee break. A tad busy but we manage to avoid the busy areas.

Quit at lunch time and yet another afternoon in a supermarket.

Is that Virgin Atlantics new Pilot?

Is that Virgin Atlantics new Pilot?

Drive down to Salt Lake to pick the kids up from their Delta flight. Drive down the mountain is treacherous at night, lane markings are non existent. Thankfully their flight isnot only on time but early. Just drive into park and wait a couple of minutes and get a text to say they’ve got luggage and ready. All tired but Jaspers been a star traveller – well behaved.


 

I’ve just watched a few youtubes on Farage’s performance in the European Parliament and I have to say he has gone up several notches in my estimation. He certainly doesn’t mince words and I’m sure he’s vehemently hated by the EU bureaucrats, so that’s another plus point in his favour.

On a more serious EU note an interesting report on the benefits, well lack thereof, of being in the EU:

http://www.globalbritain.co.uk/sites/default/files/publications/WhatisthePointJAN05.pdf

 
How to insult a progressive by Pat Condell:


20160222 – Where’s My Blue Pinstripe Suit, White Shirt And Tie?

Monday – Cool, low cloud and snowing

The new gondola linking Park City to the Canyons.

The new gondola linking Park City to the Canyons.

Yeah, snow forecast for all day, although not much of an accumulation predicted. Never mind, all Chione’s bounty is greatly appreciated.

Out for a mornings skiing. Now I can and will gladly ski in snow, cold, high winds and even rain, but I just can’t cope with a white out. For the none skiers in my audience that’s when there’s low cloud or really heavy snowing. Either way you can’t see where your going; any of the bumps; have no sense of what is vertical. It’s terrifying. Everyone just slows down. Get a couple of runs in but it’s so disorientating I give up for the day.

Local sports Centre just 5 minutes away. Complete with piano outside and it's not vandalized. Ideal place to go in case you've not burnt off enough energy on the slopes.

Local sports Centre just 5 minutes away. Complete with piano outside and it’s not vandalized. Ideal place to go in case you’ve not burnt off enough energy on the slopes.

Hal picks me up after lunch for a web design meeting. Wot without a blue pinstripe suit, white shirt and tie! American style jeans and jumper all very informal. Real nerdy meeting agreeing final,changes to his web site before they hand it over to us. Seems an age since I had to do any serious work, but really enjoyed it. Fortunately his site is all in WordPress with HTML, very nerdy. Looking forward to finalising his site and doing a new one for him – once a nerd always a nerd. Then I’ll probably get around to redoing my own website.

Now this is the sort of politician we want battling for a deal in Europe, not some little public schoolboy. Nigel Farage in action, saying it as it is:

I bet they all just hate him.
 

My Sick Humour
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. State takes one and give it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and gives you milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and sell you milk.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
EUROPEAN FEDERALISM: You have two cows which you cannot afford to keep because of milk imported from a member state with cheaper labour. So you apply for financial aid from the European Union to subsidise your cows and are granted enough to carry on working them. You then sell your milk at the original high price to some government-owned distributor which then dumps your milk onto the market at the price that drove you to subsidies to make Europe competitive.”
 


Tuesday – cold and sunny
4″ fresh snow so a great blue bird days skiing with Helen. A tad on the cool side but keeps the snow in good condition.

Miss out on tipsy Tuesday.

Virgin Atlantic – the Weasel airline.

Blue bird skiing. It's like a spring day.

Blue bird skiing. It’s like a spring day.

When I was a lad, a few aeons ago, America was just over 3,000 miles away from the UK. Now, according to the weasels in Virgin Atlantic it seems to be about 30,000 miles away. What has caused this dramatic shift? It seems that either the tectonic plates are shifting apart faster than a modern jet or could it be that the weasels in Virgin Atlantic’s marketing department are trying to con us. Yes, a trip,to America with your Weasel Atlantic’s “air miles” requires about 30,000 “air miles”. A more honest approach might be to call them “air furlongs” – youngster will need to wiki this archaic measure – or perhaps even “air metres”.

Equally amazing in the deception and trickery, is that when it comes to acquiring “air miles” America is suddenly a mere 3,000 miles away. It’s only when you come to spend them they distort to “air furlongs”. If only Einstein was alive to help us comprehend this distortion in the fabric of the space time continuum.

Who do they think they are kidding, “air miles” my foot. Perhaps it’s time the trading standards organisation prosecuted them for blatant trades description violation.

Meanwhile it’s about time they were forceably made to change their name from “Virgin Atlantic” to “Weasels Atlantic” with a weasel logo on their tail plane. More tales of “Weasel Atlantic” deception and chicanery in tomorrow’s rant.

 


Wednesday – hot and sunny

Ski with Helens group, just 3 of us. A pretty full day but not as many runs as yesterday.

Get back a tad late and get moaned at. How unusual is that. To redeem myself Go for a stroll around the neighborhood.

Jere and Diane come round for dinner. Great food, great company and plenty of wine.

Spring skiing gear.

Spring skiing gear.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the tooth fairy. Well here in Park City they have the nose fairy. It comes to my bed every night if I blew my nose that day, irrespective of whether I’ve been good or bad, or whether I’m drunk or sober. Does it leave me sixpence or a dollar on my pillow. Does it eck as like. No instead it quietly and imperceptibly shoves shards of broken glass up my nose so that when I wake, for the inevitable geriatrics meander to the toilet, I’m in agony.

Oh the joys of this dry mountain air that turn your nasal blood vessels brittle.

 
Yesterday I ranted at great length on “Weasel Atlantic” and their “Air furlongs”. Today it’s time to explore more chicanery from the greedy weasels of their marketing department.

So you have 70,000 “air miles” and they’re about as much use as a plane without an undercarriage. Why? Because whatever flight you come to use them on, no matter how early you try and book, there’s no seats. Yet, go online and there’s plenty of seats available. Now a cynical person, not me of course, might think that there’s only ever one seat per flight available for use with your “air miles”.

Another example of the conniving and skullduggery from the weasels in the marketing department.


Thursday – hot and sunny

Kings Crown an amazing ski run.

Kings Crown an amazing ski run.

After two full days skiing I have a lie in and a lazy days skiing. Just get 6 runs and some coffee in.

Wendy’s gone out with Helen to get some retail therapy and lunch.

Wendy’s seen some “nice” boots but had them put aside while she sees what I think.

Wendy: “Do you like them?”
Tony: “No” – Being an honest sole.
Wendy: “Why not?”
Tony: “Black rubber on them looks awful.”

And the moral of that is – honesty is not always the best policy. But I’ll keep being a George Washington – who was not the first president of the USA.

Well so far we’ve explored two of the “air miles” dodges from the “weasel Atlantic” airline. Now for the final rip off. As we’ve already established the chances of being able to use your air miles for a flight is about as likely as ISIS organizing a gay pride march.

Lazy way home down Blanche - such an elegant easy run for perfect carved turns.

Lazy way home down Blanche – such an elegant easy run for perfect carved turns.

I know we’ll use them to upgrade from cattle class to either premium economy or even upper class.

A cattle class flight to Atlanta is about £600, so we phone up to discuss upgrade to Premium economy. “Oh yes sir you’ve enough air miles for premium economy (about 20,000 I seem to recall) or even upper class”. Wow at last we can get some benefit from our 70,000 “air miles”. Hang on though the marketing weasels have been at it again. Not only is it 20,000 “air miles” but your £600 ticket is not eligible, you’ll have to buy a £900 ticket plus the 20,000.

Yet again “air miles” are a complete rip off and waste of time.

Well done Richard – I realise I might as well chalk pentagrams and stroke my toad, but at least I’ve got it of my chest – what an empire of weasels you’ve built. Your front line staff are excellent, let down by the rampant greed and deviousness from the weasels in marketing and back offices. Time to have a few heads rolling and feed some weasels to the lions. Replace them with some front line staff who have such excellent customer care skills.
 

My Sick Humour

Think UK politics is a farce then watch this American Republican Party so called debate. A vicious slanging match worse than you’d get from any gutter snipes or kids in the playground:

The American public judge Trump to be the winner of the debate by over 79%, but can anyone seriously consider him as president? Well it certainly looks like he’ll be the Republican nominee. Worrying or refreshing?
 

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell on Obama’s ‘Dhimmi’ refusal to speak out against the persecution of Christians in the Arab world since the revolution:


 


20160219 – Lazy Ski Days

Friday – warm and sunny
Yet another bluebird day.

Early morning commute.

Early morning commute.

Up early and ski Park City. With yesterday’s storm closing all the lifts; it being the last day of Presidents week; 10″ of fresh powder overnight it’s as crowded as a stoning in Iran. Never seen it this crowded.

Awesome grooming. Perfect corduroy.

Awesome grooming. Perfect corduroy.

In the evening Jere and Diane pick us up and take us down to the TGIF at the Jeremy Ranch golf club. Have a pleasant evening with PCMSC. Some excellent wine, glasses you could drown in. Food at the golf club not that appealing so we go out for dinner with Jere and Diane. Great wine, good food and great company.

A drunken end to another awesome day here in paradise.

My Sick Humour

I see Cameron’s been over to Europe with his begging bowl. He asked for nowt and got even less. Just a bowl of thin gruel.
image
 

Religion – Beyond Belief

More from Jesus and mo.

More from Jesus and mo.


 

Saturday – cool and sunny

Awesome view from our lounge whilst having breakfast.

Awesome view from our lounge whilst having breakfast.

A lazy start to the day. Don’t hit the slopes until 11:00. Yet another bluebird day but a really cold wind.

Manage to get 8 runs in and a coffee before meeting Wendy down at Starbucks. A pretty good days skiing and fortunately not too hot so A be kind to snow sort of day.

In the evening Hal, Carol and Angela come round for dinner. An enjoyable family evening in.

My Sick Humour

Can’t decide whether these entries should be a joke or a rant.

This is our 1776 moment (declaration of USA independence) sadly we have no political statesmen like Jefferson or Adams on our side. Instead we’ve a spineless career politician who I wouldn’t trust to negotiate me a free bus pass. Should have sent a Eurosceptic, like Farage or resurrected Maggie, to do the job. Still at least having come back with nowt it should strengthen the BREXIT campaign. Hopefully we’ll get some truth presented and not political speak and scaremongering. Time we were proud again and put the “Great” back into Britain.

image
 


Sunday – warm and sunny
Another lazy start to the day, as per Wendy’s subtle advice. On the slopes for 11:00. When the previous day was too hot the snow can be a tad crunchy first thing, so starting at 11:00 does have the advantage of giving the slopes time to soften up.

Get another 8 runs and a coffee in. Making progress as I move off greens onto all blues. The knee seems to be less of a problem. Ironically when I do get muscle burn on long runs its my good left leg that burns out first.

Having Alzeihmers when you ski must be a nightmare. Just watched two old dears spend 5 minutes wandering up and down the ski racks trying to figure out where they left them.

George come round to pick us up and take us for dinner in his new motor home. It’s absolutely ginormous. Spacious, comfortable and quality fittings throughout. No light weight wood to keep the vehicle weight down all the wood is solid hard word. Awesome vehicle no wonder they live in it all year round we could be very comfortable in it as a home. In addition it toes a full sized SUV.

Have an great meal with George and Helen. Put the politicians to right, sort the world and laugh until we’re nearly in tears. Another great evening with friends here in paradise.

My Sick Humour

Came across this piece of brilliant and important piece of medical research that must be a serious contender for a Nobel prize:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2190863/Semen-good-womens-health-helps-fight-depression.html#ixzz24LOOS93w

Of course it must be true as it’s in the Daily Blood Boiler (Daily Mail).

 

Religion – Beyond Belief

It seems that dhimi Islamic apologist Obama’s been at it again claiming that Islam is a peaceful religion because it say in the Quran “whoever kills an innocent, it is as if he has killed all mankind.”

Perhaps he should dust off his copy of the Quran and read it before spouting dhimi nonsense. This is what the Qur’an really says:

“Because of that, We decreed upon the Children of Israel that whoever kills a soul unless for a soul or for corruption in the land — it is as if he had slain mankind entirely. And whoever saves one — it is as if he had saved mankind entirely. And our messengers had certainly come to them with clear proofs. Then indeed many of them, after that, throughout the land, were transgressors.” (5:32)

First, note that this is not a general moral principle applying to everyone, as Obama implied, but one only for the Children of Israel – Jews.

Secondly it is not a general prohibition of killing: there are big exceptions for those who kill “for a soul or for corruption in the land.” And it concludes that even after this command was given, “many of them, after that … were transgressors” — so all it is really saying is that Allah gave a command to the Children of Israel and they transgressed against it. It isn’t anything more than yet another Qur’anic castigation of the Jews.

Also, it is followed in the Qur’an by 5:33, which specifies the punishment for the corruption and transgressions of the Children of Israel: “Indeed, the penalty for those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger and strive upon earth corruption is none but that they be killed or crucified or that their hands and feet be cut off from opposite sides or that they be exiled from the land. That is for them a disgrace in this world; and for them in the Hereafter is a great punishment.” Very peaceful me thinks. Why didn’t he go on to quote this?

Thus this passage is explaining what must be done with Jews who reject Muhammad, not dictating lofty moral principles. Ibn Warraq sums it up: “The supposedly noble sentiments are in fact a warning to Jews. ‘Behave, or else’ is the message. Far from abjuring violence, these verses aggressively point out that anyone opposing the Prophet will be killed, crucified, mutilated, and banished!”
 


20160215 – Is A Severe Dose of Donald Trump Needed Here?

Monday – grey, cloudy, some rain / sleet lower down and cold
Another great day skiing. A tad busy due to Presidents’ Day. I quit at lunch time as my knee is feeling it from yesterday at Deer Valley.

Our roomy lounge with awesome views over the bridge, hills and golf course.

Our roomy lounge with awesome views over the bridge, hills and golf course.

Thought I’d add some photos of our home for the next 3 months


My Sick Humour
10 really deep binary computer jokes, probably only appreciated by real nerds:

Lounge

Lounge

An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

Email me if you need an explanation.

 

Religion – Beyond Belief
Bill Maher, is ISIS Islamic?

Is the Pope a Catholic!

 


Tuesday – warm and sunny

Master bedroom complete with en-suite.

Master bedroom complete with en-suite.

2nd bedroom.

2nd bedroom.

At long last it seems that some common sense is being applied. The search is on for an alternative to password hell, with a simple but secure alternative. The sooner the better.

http://thenextweb.com/insider/2016/02/18/the-creators-of-the-web-are-working-on-a-way-to-kill-passwords/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=daily&tuid=f4aa9950fb2a81a3b836e2cd8f6ef12141f12f2f
 


Wednesday – grey and cloudy

Dinning room.

Dinning room.

Great morning skiing. Took it easy after the full, record breaking, day yesterday.

In the evening we go round to Hal & Carols for dinner, a great Raclet, very socialable and entertaining.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell on Sharia law:


 


Thursday – Winter storm day

Gale force winds even knock over ski racks. But why are they bothering to pick up snowboards?

Gale force winds even knock over ski racks. But why are they bothering to pick up snowboards?

Early start to the day. First on the lift in the rain and sleet Why do it? There’s something quite magical about being out in the pouring snow and howling gale, when you’re warm, snug and dry in your ski gear.

Compact - small - kitchen. Thankfully only room for one.

Compact – small – kitchen. Thankfully only room for one.

In the evening we go into Main Street for dinner. First time this trip. Would you believe that two thirds of the restaurants are closed. Why you might ask? Well apparently there was a power cut in the morning so the lazy ones just used it as an excuse not to open. Whatever happened to American enterprise. My money’s on the open restaurants being the owner operated ones, while the closed ones were the managed places.

Give up in despair, every where that bothered to open is full to the gunnels.

3rd bedroom.

3rd bedroom.

Never mind we’ll go back home and order a take away to be delivered. We’ve a menu from one of the Mexican restaurants. Can you believe the menu doesn’t even tell us the name of the restaurant or the telephone number. I don’t believe it. What marketing genius produced this? Better not order from these numpties, if that’s the level of intelligence and common sense, one dreads to think what the food would be like.

Phone another place. No we don’t do deliveries. How unenterprising. No they don’t deliver themselves, but there is a delivery service that uses them, wouldn’t you think they’d have given us that phone number. Same at another place.

Finally find a food delivery company. By now I’ve lost the will to live. Place the order. That in itself was an exercise in futility and frustration. Try to get an estimate on delivery cost is like trying to communicate with a scum-boarder writhing and gyrating under the beat of his giant headphones.

Food finally arrives, with a $5 delivery charge, pretty reasonable.

Next time we’ll use one of these online ordering places. Anything rather than go through that sort of mind numbing conversation, enough to get anyone ready to slit their wrists and ring the Samaritans.

What in the name of the mighty dollar has happened to American enterprise. Have they all got fat and lazy, with as much common sense and enterprise as a dim witted French union leader? Perhaps this country needs a severe dose of Donald Trump’s brand of enterprise and drive – heaven forbid.

 


20160212 – Some Snow At Last

Friday – hot and sunny

Skied with two ladies, Helen and Sheri, as the token male – always come in useful for raising and lowering the bar – an awesome days skiing. Best so far.

Blue sky day. Again.

Blue sky day. Again.

Stop at Kristy’s, or whatever they now call it, for a dirty Chai. Got a hearty greeting from Eva, she’s responsible for my obsession with dirty Chai, having introduced me to it a couple of years ago. As result we’re now on the edge of bankruptcy and I’m sure she’s got shares in Starbucks. Great to see her after almost a year.

Then Helen and I venture for a few more runs. This year Kings Crown is open, no longer a storage for giant snow kickers. What an awesome run it is. Amazing once we’re out of the Silverload area the crowds just evaporite away.

Chione goddess of winter and snow - a tasty morsel.

Chione goddess of winter and snow – a tasty morsel.

Time to offer up a few prayers to Chione, goddess of winter and snow, as well as a tasty piece of eye candy. Also prayers go out to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I’m covering all bases.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell on dumbing down university:


 

My Sick Humour

George Carlin on football versus baseball:

 

Pathetic. Couldn't even negotiate a good deal on a free bus pass.

Pathetic. Couldn’t even negotiate a good deal on a free bus pass.


 

Saturday – hot and sunny

Silver Lake lodge at Deer Valley.

Silver Lake lodge at Deer Valley.

Another blue bird skiing morning.

Then in the afternoon we both venture down to Kimbal junction for some shopping, free bread samples at the bread shop and some great granola, just a tad expensive and fattening.

Try the new burrito place FreeBird, where you make your own burrito, just like subway. Awesome burrito with load of jalapeños.

My Sick Humour

Dave Allen on getting old:


 

Religion – Beyond Belief

The sound of Muslims:


 


Sunday – hot and sunny
Yeah it’s snowing. Up and out early to Deer Valley as I’m blacked out on my Park City locals pass.

Deer Valley and fresh powder.

Deer Valley and fresh powder.

Have a hard mornings skiing. All that fresh powders making it mogully and tough skiing. There’s some serious ice under this powder, worse than PC. A couple of white outs when you just can’t see the contours. By lunch time my knees feeling the strain. But bring on the snow, a really welcome change after all those blue bird Spring skiing days.

Ski until 16:00, my knees cream crackered. A bit difficult to understand why my floppy knees the problem, yet my thigh and hips are ok. Perhaps I need a new knee.

A great days skiing but nowhere near the distance or altitude skied on Friday.

My Sick Humour

George Carlin on Stuff:


 

Religion – Beyond Belief

I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against building more mosques.

I think it should be the goal of us ALL to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to each new mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, “The Turban Cowboy,” and the other, a topless bar, would be called “You Mecca Me Hot.

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs.
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called “Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret,” with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods, and on the other side a liquor store called Morehammered.

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.
 

So much for the so called “moderate Muslim”:

Muslims are boycotting the country’s key anti-radicalisation programme, The Times can disclose, after it emerged that less than a tenth of extremism tip-offs were coming directly from the community or faith leaders.

The situation in the U.S. is little different, as the Hamas-linked Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), the media’s go-to group for all things Muslim, advises its members not to cooperate with counter-terror investigations: a California chapter distributed a poster telling Muslims not to talk to the FBI, and a Florida chapter distributed pamphlets with the same message.

 


20160208 – Can I Ski Those Blue Runs? Or Am I Condemmed To The Easy Greens?

Monday – cool and sunny
Lie in after such a late night.

imageOn the slopes by 10:00 for another cool blue bird day.

After lunch I get home to try running some diagnostics on my sick Mac Book. It must be a hardware issue as I’ve done a clean install. Finally get an error code out of it. Seems a sensor is playing up. Will have to take it into Simply Mac tomorrow for a fix. Can feel a dollar panic attack coming on.


My Sick Humour

If Trump were president:

https://www.facebook.com/PeacehouseUS/?fref=photo

 

Religion – Beyond Belief
Pat Condell, we want the truth:


 

David Cameron argued that voting for a Brexit would result in migrant camps such as “the Jungle” in Calais moving to southern England.

What a fudge he's come back with. He's not capable of negotiating a free bus pass.

What a fudge he’s come back with. He’s not capable of negotiating a free bus pass.

The Prime Minister said that a “huge number” of asylum seekers could come to Britain “overnight” because France would pull out of current border arrangements in the aftermath of an EU exit.

France on Monday night said it would not pull out of its border arrangements with the UK even in the event of Britain voting to leave the European Union.

Ok so let’s imagine the frog munchers tear up the Le Touquet treaty. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve done something to spite is.

Surely if we had politicians with some guts and imagination we could come up with effective Cartoon by David Simonds. Cameron prepares for an in/out referendum on Europe.solutions. Just some random thoughts, immigration on board ships / train barring boarding or expelling; even close the tunnel; a ship in Dover waiting for any illegals, dump them on it and when it’s full ship them off to somewhere undesirable, the message would soon get back that we mean business; massive fines or jail for anyone found with an illegal in their vehicle.

And if all else fails, yes a miserable holding camp right in the middle of the southern softy middle class bed wetters stockbroker belt – payback to the bankers. Make sure the conditions in the camp are dire and ship them out within days to somewhere undesirable. No appeals, they’re illegal.

Of course, then there’s the retaliation option. I’m sure with even limited creativity and brain power we could come up with some retaliatory bargaining chip.

 


Tuesday – too warm and sunny. Really being cruel to the snow.

Up and out for a 09:00 start. Another cool blue bird day. Time to notch up the number of runs. Really enjoying those long, non stop runs, with a thigh burn towards the end.

imageNumeracy skills seem to be somewhat lacking here Lift take 2, 4 or 6 people. Amazing how taxing that can be for some people in the lift lines to work out. Jasper will have to show them how.

Well just experienced the ski lift ride from hell. Usually they’re a pleasant experience with friendly Americans, by the time you reach the top you’ve heard about all their operations; who they voted for; how much of an idiot they think the current president is, even if they voted for him. For this ride I was sat next to the gobby women from hell. I thought she had a megaphone aimed right into my left ear but no it was just her normal voice. My left ear still feels like I’ve had a mortar round land next to it.

Wow free chocolate chip ice cream in the Miners Camp, mind you coffee is £3.50.

imageMeet Wendy at the Baja Cantina for the Tipsy Tuesday for the Park City Mountain Sports Club (hereafter referred to as PCMSC) apres ski with cheap margaritas, if you’re into them. Catch up with Helen and George after a year.

Seems like Simply Mac have fixed my poorly MacBook. They say it was software and have re-installed the latest OpSys. Couldn’t find any hardware fault, whereas I consistently got a sensor error on Apple’s own hardware test (AHT). I too had done a clean install. Whilst I hope they have fixed it I’m not too convinced they’ve really fixed it.

Snowboarder literacy rates seem to be a real safety hazard. They’re only expected to comprehend a simple 4 letter word, but no chance. The word is SLOW. For those few knuckle draggers that can read, they obviously don’t think it applies to them, they’re so good they can ignore the SLOW signs. Perhaps safety patrols armed with harpoons might be the answer. Then they can reel them in and confiscate their pass.

Then there are the really taxing signs with long words like ALTERNATE on them. Used at the confluence of two lines. Again obviously doesn’t apply to your average retarded knuckle dragger on a scum board.
 

Religion – Beyond Belief

Quran gangbang episode 1 – new recruits:


 


Wednesday – too hot and sunny
imageAnother early start. Another blue bird day. On slopes for 09:00. Meet the PCMSC at Miners Camp. Then spend a great morning skiing with Helen’s blue / green group. Yes I graduate onto blues after some cautious days on the green runs. YEAH, I CAN SKI BLUES OK. A tad more taxing and I’m certainly not as fast as I used to be, but I doing ok. Awesome. Great mornings skiing with Helens group, get 13 runs in.

After lunch catch the bus down to Kimble and pick up my sick MacBook from Simply Mac. They say they’ve fixed it. Say it was software. I don’t believe it was software and don’t believe they’ve fixed it as they’ve only erased the disc and done a clean install like I did. But we’ll see.

imageWander over to Starbucks for a coffee while I stress test my MacBook. Yep, I’m right again. Sadly it’s still not fixed. Thankfully I trusted my own experience and instincts. Walk back over to Simply Mac to break the bad news to them. Seems it’s now beyond their capabilities so they have to send it off to Apple. Sounds like it could need a new logic board at a heart stopping $409. Still cheaper than a new MacBook, hopefully it’ll last me a few more years but if worse comes to worse I can still sell it for at least $600, so will be $200 better off than scrapping it.

In the evening drop off through silent witness by 20:00. Totally cream crackered after an awesome day and best of all I’ve moved up a notch to blue runs.

My Sick Humour

I thought Corbyn was bat shit crazy, but this guy is an ideal replacement:

A Labour councillor has claimed he has fathered a child with an alien and that the regular sex he has with the extra terrestrial is causing tension in his human marriage.

Simon Parkes, who represents Stakesby on Whitby Town Council, told the Northern Echo he has had a child called Zarka with an alien he refers to as the Cat Queen.

The driving instructor, who has three children with his human wife, said the intercourse with the alien happens about four times a year. I hope he practices safe sex, you just don’t know what sort of poses these aliens are infested with.

“What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth,” he said. The Labour politician has also claimed he was abducted by extra-terrestrials as a child and that his “real mother” is a 9ft tall alien with eight fingers.

He speaks of his first encounter which occurred while he in the womb, then tells of a being which appeared by his cot when he was six-months-old and reached out to him with “these two green ‘stick things, like beanpoles’.”

He continued: “I thought, ‘they’re not mummy’s hands, mummy’s hands are pink’, and mummy has thumbs. These are green and pointed and there’s four of them.’
“I was looking straight into its face. It enters my mind through my eyes and it sends a message down my optic nerve into my brain, saying ‘I am your real mother, I am your more important mother’.”  


Thursday – hot and sunny
imageUp and out for 09:00 and another blue bird day. Get a few runs in and then meet Hal for coffee at Miners Camp. Spend the rest of the morning skiing with Hal. Bail out at lunch to meet Wendy back at house.

After lunch we have a walk into Starbucks, browse the ski shops and then I get the excitement of being shopping cart driver in the supermarket. Just what I need, some more exercise. By end of the afternoon I’m feeling pretty knackered. Fortunately bump into Hal and Angela so get a welcome lift home.

After 101 year scientists discover gravitational waves. Einstein was right:

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/science/article4688431.ece

My Sick Humour

Dave Allen on supermarkets:


 

Religion – Beyond Belief

image
 

20160205 – Ski And Super Bowl Party. Another Awesome Day In Paradise.

Friday – cool and sunny
Another blue bird (defined as clear blue sky, sun, great snow and cold enough to protect the snow) day here in paradise. Carol picks me up for a mornings skiing and a pleasant coffee break at the Miners Camp.

New trail map for Park City. Now the largest ski area in North America.

New trail map for Park City. Now the largest ski area in North America.

Lazy afternoon in just admiring the awesome view. Wendy’s knee is still giving her gyp.

Today’s useless piece of information. According to an in depth study by a dog psychiatrist the breed intelligence is as follows:

Border Collie comes in 1st.
Cocker Spaniels 20th.
Afghan comes in last at 79th.

Well good old Cockers may not come out tops but they have so much character and are a soft as a fresh cowpat, especially with kids, so they’re still my favourite breed.


Religion – Beyond Belief
Comments from peaceful Muslims – isn’t that an oxymoron:


 


Saturday – cool and sunny

Early start for best snow, best skiing and quiet slopes.

Early start for best snow, best skiing and quiet slopes.

Catch the 8:54 bus only to find that traffics that bad that the 8 minute journey takes 50 minutes. There’s a World Cup event on so every numpty is trying to find a slot in a parking slot so full that there’s not even room to stand up.

Never mind still a great morning’s skiing. Get home totally cream crackered. All that strength training paid off. Now I’m here I can get to work aerobic training and endurance.

After lunch we catch the free bus into town for a trip to Rite Aide to see if we can get Wendy any stronger pain killers. Nothing stronger than paracetamol.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThen it’s round to Sports Authority to get pair of ski pants. Some enthusiastic nurse with a pair of scissors just couldn’t wait to cut my ski pants off me last February. Sadly she didn’t want to have her evil way with me at the time.

Don’t you just love this word:

Gong farmer (also gongfermor, gongfermour, gong-fayer, gong-fower or gongscourer) was a term that entered use in Tudor England to describe someone who dug out and removed human excrement from privies and cesspits; the word “gong” was used for both a privy and its contents.

What a cracking job.

My Sick Humour
Don’t you just love this right wing gun freak – Wild Bill for America:


 


Sunday – cool and sunny

My all time favourite shot of paradise.

My all time favourite shot of paradise.

Well after yesterday’s fiasco I catch the earlier bus. No traffic and I’m on the ski lift for 09:00. Yet another bluebird day and not quite as busy. Great morning skiing, get a good 9 runs in. Stamina is building up and I’m not knackered like yesterday.

Meet Wendy at legacy lodge for her lunch and then back home ready for Super Bowl party round at Hal’s.

Use a very logical basis for selecting team to support. Go for Carolina Panthers as Kurt has their baseball cap. They’re the underdogs and they loose. Not as exciting a game as last year. But at least we understood the adverts. Only took 5 hours.

Great food and great company. Hal’s spicy nachos were amazing. Best nachos ever and I doubt anything will top them.
image
Half time we’re entertained by Beyoncé. Thighs on her like a Russian shot putter. They’d put the fear of God in any red blooded alpha male. With thighs and an arse on her like that she’d have made an ideal member of the black panthers. No one would tangle with her.

Well we set a new record for staying up until 22:30 – Noddy was well past Big Ears.

My Sick Humour

Shadsworth surgery to a tee.

Shadsworth surgery to a tee.


 
Yet another reason to get out of the clutches of the brainless unelected bureaucrats in the EU:

Eurocrats led by debt-stricken Italy want to create a reserve to provide cash to those whose countries are on the brink of collapse. 

Let's get out before it sinks.

Let’s get out before it sinks.

The proposal would see ailing economies syphon millions of pounds from an EU insurance policy.
The scheme has been hatched by the finance chief of a country whose unemployment rate has rocketed to 12.4 per cent – more than double that of the UK. 
Pier Carlo Padoan wants to create a centralised run fund to rescue those left out of work by the eurozone fiasco.
The pan-European jobless project was branded a bailout package that could see Britain contribute a percentage of its wealth, a liability potentially running into millions of pounds. 
 

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell on the enemy within:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=em-subs_digest-vrecs&v=U_BZmuO8jSI

I so wish I could rant like this guy.
 


20160202 – Will I Ever Be Able To Ski Again?

Tuesday – sun and cloud
Pretty uneventful flights on both Virgin and Delta. Wendy has a Baker Cyst so we stump up for extra leg room on the Virgin flight. £40 each, very roomy and wider seats. Amazing the food on the Virgin flight was not only edible, first time in years, but also quite enjoyable. On board entertainment was great. Watched Spectre, pretty good, and the latest Steve Jobs film, pretty crap. Saved the Martian until our return flight by which time I should have read the book.

2nd flight was Delta, Atlanta to Salt Lake. Unfortunately for Wendy her gamy leg was giving her constant gyp.

Got to our home for the next 3 months only to find the place was a filthy tip. It had not been cleaned, nor bedding / trowels changed. Phoned owner and housekeeper left a rant message.

We were both knackerred after 24 hours traveling and Wendy’s was in agony with her leg. Checked into the Best Western hotel for the night. I’ll be sending the bill to the owner – I can feel a lawsuit coming on.


Book with Delta and you use the same plane and check in desk as virgin, but with the added advantage of being pre-screened at a podium, like a naughty school boy, being asked a load of inane security questions and then having a label superglued to the back of your passport. Whereas Virgin don’t seem to need these questions! Obvious really as everyone knows that terrorists would never fly Virgin, after all there’s 70 voluptuous, busty, perpetual virgins awaiting them.

Well it seems my giant piece of meccano in my right thigh has never been encountered by the screening numpties. I get a thorough groping and pat down. Can well understand that. But to then send me through again, scan my watch, grope my feet and wand me all over yet again.

I’m a white, 66 year old, with no turban or beard. What do they think? I’ve got a bomb secreted inside my leg and will be using my plastic dinner knife onboard to extract a bomb from my leg. Pots for rags.

Meanwhile tests on the effectiveness of screening reveals that 95% of test attempts get through. All that money and misery, caused by a bunch of 7th century rag headed barbarians and still they only stand a chance of stopping 1 attempted attack in 20. Isn’t about time there was a dramatic shake up, starting with some common sense profiling.


Wednesday – very cold (-11 C) and sunny

Well the hotel was very comfortable and what a great breakfast.

Certainly seem to have lit a fuse under owner and housekeeper. Housekeeper returned my call at 05:00 and by 08:00 house was spotless, with clean towels and bedding, along with – profuse apologise. Owner has volunteered to pick up hotel bill.

Our new home.

Our new home.

Our new home is very light and roomy with 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, our bedroom has en-suite and a walk wardrobe bid enough for Jasper to sleep in – photos to follow – certainly exceeds expectations and is a great deal for the price. It’s only 58 steps to the free bus stop.

Nip round to Carols for coffee and to pick up the most important items, my ski gear.

Afternoon is spent in a supermarket as trolley pusher whilst Wendy directs operations. Her gamy leg is still paining her. Pass on Costco and Wendy’s drug test – can you believe a 67 year Nana has to go for a drugs test before she can volunteer at the local hospital. Life is H&s / lawsuit bat crazy.

When are these supermarkets going to drag themselves into the 21st century. You lob it in the cart; you take it out the cart; they put it in paper or plastic bags (yes you even get a choice over here and they’re free); they put the bags in the cart; they wheel it to your car; you take the bags out the car. What about some common sense and hand held scanners.

View from our lounge onto golf course and snowy bridge

View from our lounge onto golf course and snowy bridge

Then it’s a trip to the State liquor store, where the Mormon State fleece you by charging $10 for a $6 bottle of wine, there’s me thinking this is a harmless religion. While we’ve got the car I stock up. By now our credit card has collapsed under the strain.

Subway for tea. Now I know we’re in America.

Looks like my MacBook is having panic attacks (kernel panics) and crashing. Restored it but still very poorly. I wouldn’t mind but I wasn’t bringing it in favour of the iPad Pro but the MacBook trumps the iPad pro for serious web design. Need to run some more diagnostics and figure out whether it’s hardware or some dodgy software.

Manage to stay awake until 20:30.

Tomorrow’s acid test day. Will these 50 weeks of recovery, torture, exercises, gym, yoga and physio really pay off? Will I be able to ski?


My Sick Humour
 
My parents spanked me as a child.

As a result I now suffer from a severe psychological condition known as “respect for others”.

Religion – Beyond Belief
 
More from Pat Condell. This time Europes betrayal of women:


Thursday – snow and cloudy, very cold

ski

Ski Park City

Up at the crack of sparrows. Breakfasted, geared up and on the slopes for 09:00. Today’s the day I’ve been looking forward to for the past 50 weeks. Excited but a certain amount of trepidation. Will my leg hold up to the stresses of skiing. Will these 50 weeks of recovery, torture, exercises, gym, yoga and physio really pay off? I must have averaged at least 1.5 hours of exercise every day. I had a clearly defined plan with a single objective – to be fit for skiing today.

First day back on skis.

First day back on skis.

Go to get the skis on. Hang on what’s happened? Have my feet and boots shrunk? The bindings are set for a bigger boot. Moral of that story is don’t lend your precious ski gear to your kids. Get to a work bench; adjust them; come on I want to ski. Shuffle onto lift. Can I get off without making a tit of myself and landing on my arse? Make it ok. Turn left and head down First time – yes, it’s a green – wow I can ski! Can I turn right or will I be condemned to perpetual left turns until I run out of mountain or go around in ever decreasing circles. Wow I can turn both left and right no problem. It’s all coming back, like riding a bike you never forget, and my gamy legs holding up.

Paradise with 217" snow so far this year.

Paradise with 217″ snow so far this year.

Do another run down First Time just to be sure I wasn’t dreaming. Wow it’s OK. Then it’s off up to the top with the big boys. Claim Jumper non stop, then Home Run. Awesome. Time for a coffee in the new Miners Camp. Very swish but I do miss the ambience of the old Snow Hut with open log fire a sensibly priced coffee. Can you believe coffee is $5.18, that’s £3.50 in proper money, but at least you can have free refills – I think tomorrow I’ll bring a flask with me and fill it with this Starbucks coffee.

Love those Aspens in the sun and snow.

Love those Aspens in the sun and snow.

Well 50 weeks of slog, average 90 minutes a day, has paid off. YEAH, I CAN SKI! I CAN SKI! I CAN SKI! I think I’ll be sensible and stay on the green runs for a few days. Build up more strength, technique and confidence before venturing back onto the more challenging runs.

Thanks to everyone involved in my recovery from Wendy, surgeon, nurses, USA physio therapists (I’m sure they were ex CIA torturers), ski patrol who got me off the mountain, but most of all my to my UK physiotherapist (Mike Pettigew) who pushed me no constantly and dreamed up new tortures.
 


After lunch we drive down to Wholefoods – Wendy’s treat – for some more shopping.

Drop the Hertz mobile off and have a pleasant stroll back. From now on its shankes pony or free bus. Quite looking forward to it.

Sadly Wendy’s knee is still giving her gyp.

After half a bottle of red wine I’m in bed by 20:00, knackered, sleeping the sleep of the just. Probably dream of skiing.

Letter to D W Sports Gym

When are you going to take some serious action against these lazy scrots who park in disabled slots

On the way out today I walked past 6 disabled slots all occupied by cars with no disabled sticker. One a giant range rover was even arrogantly parked across one and half slots.

Personally my hope is that their leg muscles atrophy away to nothing, so that they find out what it’s like to need a disabled slot. Secondly that their sperm count drops to zero to stop these idle lazy scrots, with no consideration for others, from polluting the gene pool. It is bad enough anyone illegally parking in a disabled slot, but to think that these muppets are paying good money to get fit and yet are too lazy to walk an extra few feet. That just about takes the biscuit, heaven forbid they should reproduce.

Some suggestions would be either a £500 on the spot fine, proceeds to a disable charity; membership suspension; a scrots gallery with photos of offending vehicles; towed away; a wheel clamp on their vehicle with the key deposited at the top of Darwen tower to give them a bit of exercise.

What, if anything, are you going to do about it? I’m more than willing to play my part and hand in offending car numbers if I feel that some serious action is being taken. It’s oh so simple. Car numbers announced over tannoy – “will the scrot with registration number XXXXXXX, who is illegally parked in a disabled slot, please remove it immediately or their membership will be cancelled” – with two strikes and you’re out.