Tony & Wendy's Travel Blog

 

 

Start the day with a good breakfast consisting of a Tennessee speciality I’ve unearthed, a bacon, banana and peanut butter toasty, with a splash of honey – apparently also known as an Elvis, as it was one of his favourites. What chance does so called French cuisine have against this awesome junk food. Pretty good, but Macaroni pudding still reigns supreme.

A day of history as we go down to the Kennesaw Mountain battlefield to watch a demonstration of cannon firing. Chat with the volunteers about them thar times. Makes you wonder how they coped. Never mind the bullets, cannons and disease, they also wore thick heavy uniforms in 90 – 100 degree (33C to 36C) heat. On top of that the bugs around hear bite. I can attest to that as my feet have been a feast for the local bugs.

Have a browse round the visitors centre, museum and watch an interesting film on the battle.

Luxury, real books in this home library. Get to read “Go Set a Watchman” the so called sensation from Harper Lee. It’s strange there’s no epic plot, instead it’s almost mundane but the characters suck you in. My, oh my the PC nazi stormtroopers would have a real hissy fit reading this, can you believe it keeps on using the “N” word!

 

 

It’s Labor day, National holiday, and we should know better than to venture out on the equivalent of a bank holiday, But we’re gluttons for punishment and take a drive over to Roswell – not of alien landing fame. Have a wander around the mill area; their covered bridge; then venture down their main historic street. Try and have a meal but no chance, most places are full. There is a cafe but they’re just closing up at 14:00 on what must be one of the busiest days of the year. Obviously the same entrepreneurial spirit as the morons who run their visitors centre. Why dream of having a visitors centre open on one of the busiest visitor days of the year.

Set off home via the backroads and would you believe it but we come across a Starbucks. I think we must be in the Lesbian centre of Georgia, or it’s a Lesbian pride Starbucks, judging by the number of Lesbian couples who troop in hand in hand. There’s some fearsome butch looking women, you would not want to get on the wrong side of some of these.

To finish the day off we have a pleasant stroll around the gun emplacements and trenches at Cheetham Hill, one of the Kennesaw Mountain Battlefields – see pictures.

Just practising my new language: “All y’all, as we’re in Jawjuh we’re fixing to go down yonder to Lanner a mighty big city.”

Translated: “Everyone, as we’re in Georgia we’re going to go to Atlanta.”

Hello, what’s this on my dinner plate? Vegetables and it’s not even Sunday. Sneaky.

 

 

Decide to go over to Stone Mountain. Book the tickets online.

Get there and struggle with a map that doesn’t bear any relationship to the email they’ve sent – does anybody ever bother to check these things? Then find that 90% of the attractions are closed – web site is misleading, now there’s a surprise. After being given the run around to locate a manager I’m ready to calmly and nicely rip someones head off. Finally speak calmly and nicely to a manager, who is very professional and apologetic. We get a full refund, including the parking fee.

Have a brief drive around whilst we’re there; visit the mill; visit the stone quarry and the good news is it all costs nothing. Good job really as if it had been open we would not have appreciated the rides etc.

You’ve all no doubt heard of the mile high club and after my recent flight I’ve come up with a “2 mile high theory”. Most planes fly at about 7 miles high, but are pressurised to 2 miles / 10,000 feet high. I notice that when I do my exercises in a plane, pressurised to 10,000 feet there’s no compression pain when I imitate a stork and stand on one leg. Moral of this story being that I need to live in a modern plane, but the good new is that sking in Park City is at 9,000 feet, so it seems to me that going skiing should achieve the same effect. Now that’s what I call a useful theory.

Here I am hobbling around the Deep South on me two walking poles (recommended by my physio as a better than crutches, reduces bad posture). These two American ladies accost me “y’all a keen hiker?”. Wendy patiently explains the situation to them as if I’m crippled in the head and couldn’t possibly cope with such a complex social interaction. They’re impressed, nay orgasmic. “I’sm fixin to tell me husband. May help him”. “Can we take your picture?”. Fame at last. Finally I get to speak to disavow any thoughts that I’m a half wit as well as a cripple. “Why of course. You can even have me autograph too. But I’m not smiling, I’ve already done that 4 times this year.”

 

 

Have a lazy day enjoying the house. Wendy gets her weekly supermarket fix and I get to watch the Apple announcements. At last they bring out a new Apple TV, looks interesting but no mention of whether it does BBC etc. iPad Pro is tempting but I can’t see it replacing a MacBook Pro. It looks like I could be upgrading my old Macbook Pro. New iPhone but I’m ok with my iPhone 6 Plus and Wendy’s not interested in upgrading from her 5 to the 6S, despite a much better camera, so we’ll probably pass this year.

 

 

Time to resurrect my blog. Since that fateful encounter with 3 moguls (the icy kind, not the Indian ones) I’ve not bothered with it. Despite all that time on my hands in hospital the medication was so mind numbing that typing any word more than 3 characters and I just nodded off. It was a nightmare. Why anyone would want to take drugs totally confounds me.

Then we have Facebook. What a waste of pixels that’s becoming.

As a reminder of my blog is colour coded:

Fancy a great start to your holiday. Not content with the queues / lines for security / boarding and the rest. Then why not book a Thomsons holiday. Join a mega queue, all the way down from terminal 1, to check in. At least an hour of your life in abject misery. Memo to self never go Thomson.

Ensconced in the airport lounge. All the screening palaver is over with. As a cripple with a single crutch we’re fast tracked through security only to be frisked, probed and have this magic wand waved all over me. Is it me zips or me piece of meccano that’s setting off the alarm. Then we scurry through the 2 miles the maze of duty free to get in – heaven forbid we should miss any shelf or department, or special offer, bugger the customer, marketing rules.

Bacon and Cumberland sausage buttie for breakfast, with lashings of Daddies sauce. Wendy’s furtively eyeing the bottle of Martel – thankfully it’s 3/4 full.

Y’all, we’re fixin to go down yonder to the Deep South, over the Mason Dixie line. May even pop in on Scarlett. Have my phrase book to hand and have completed a teach yourself American course. May need an interpreter / guide. Wendy’s packed teabags, kitchen sink but alas no Heinz baked beans.

My ears are hurting. Can someone please explain to this women that her mobile does the job and she doesn’t need to shout so loud that they can hear her 30 miles away. If she’s on our flight we’re doomed, her voice will shake the wings off.

Save my ears. Goby and her coterie of lager louts have now burst into what they think is song. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster they’re not on our flight.

I know the Worlds gone mad, but needing to show your boarding pass to buy some tic tac mints has to merit a highest “accolade in stupidity” badge.

Meanwhile the Martel’s nearly reached rock bottom.

Reasonable Virgin flight although my knees are scuffed as leg room was pretty poor.

Good selection of films. Finally got to see American Sniper, and also San Andreas – both typical all American hero films, all that was missing was a cameo appearance from John Wayne and the action heroes being awarded a Nobel Prize for heroism, along with the President pinning a medal of honour on them.

American Snipers ending was weird.When he puts his hand gun on a shelf I’m convinced I know the ending. If it had been directed by an English guy then the ending may have been different, in that the heroes son gets hold of the gun he leaves on a shelf and shoots one or more of the family by accident. Would have been an ironic ending to a film that worships and glorifies the gun. Overall though an enjoyable film.

After two flag waving films settle for a more sedate one with the Second Marigold Hotel. Class cast, class acting and not a gun or hero in sight.

It seems that being a cripple with a crutch has one advantage in that you’re whisked through immigration – 5 minutes instead of an hour+. We even beat our luggage, despite it being priority unloading.

Sara, our home exchange host, picks us up at the airport. Gives us a quick guided tour of Marietta and then to our new home for the next two weeks, it’s beautiful and spacious – see pictures.

 

 

So far Wendy’s not seen any snakes yet. Apparently there are 40 different types, but relax, the good news only 6 of them are poisonous.

Lazy day getting set up and of course a trip to the supermarket. Wendy’s orgasmic there’s a Publix just around the corner (that being an American corner) and a Wholefoods (also known as WholePayPacket) down yonder (30 minutes away). For me there’s a Starbucks, Taco Bell and Subway.

While Wendy gets her weekly fix at Publix I tempt providence by walking to Starbucks – how un-American can you get. Fortunately I didn’t arrested for walking with two deadly walking poles, although the Sheriffs just walked in.

 

 

Our beds one of the Tempur-pedic mattresses. Foam you sink into. Wendy wants one. And to top it all this one comes complete with vibrator / massager and raises head or feet. Very swish.

Pleasant stroll around Marietta square, a cross between Prescott and old town Albuquerque. Then lunch sat outside.

Then I’m condemned to Starbucks while Wendy has her nails painted. Tough life. It’s cool out of the midday sun in here and has awesome wifi, 54mbps. Now that’s civilised. Interesting clientele, there’s the usual collection of MacBook and iPad users; smartphones seem to be an essential for admission, mostly iPhones; a few retards with dark side laptops; and a geezer who looks like a cross between Santa Clause and Cat Weezle, slumped there with his mouth open collecting flies and snoring louder than a rampant hog.

Wow there’s a lot of blacks around here. I think they all speak a different language. Can’t understand a word.

Now I’ve heard so much hype about this “50 Shades of Grey” that I couldn’t resist when I saw it in Red Box. We watched it last night. Talk about low budget. All fur coat and no knickers – in more ways than one – as they say, tame and no real porno. How can you have a so called porno film if the female star doesn’t wear red socks.

 

 

Up and out early. Well 10:30’s early for us.

Down to the Art in the Park (it’s Labor Day weekend) and Farmers market. Wander round the stalls; plenty of food samples in the Farmers market; as usual don’t buy anything; Wendy gets free goodies from the many stalls in Arts in the Park – she’s like a child when there are freebies on offer, always needs a carrier bag for all the booty. Have lunch at Sweet Cakes again sat people watching.

Then we pop down to Whole Foods Market, Wendy just couldn’t resist.

 

 

And this is how moguls should be done:

Look at them knees go. I’d definitely pass on the aerials. I wish.

Go for a walk, on crutches, around the estate. Make it about quarter of a mile then resort to the wheel chair Kurt’s following up with.

Each day it get’s just a smidgen easier. Thankfully I’m starting to wean off the Percocet. How any druggies cope with this brain addled state I’ll never know. Down to just two 10Mg tablets a day.

Well last nights snow didn’t come but on the bright side neither did the rain. We so badly need snow.

 

 

Awesome day as we take the kids up to Sundance for Jaspers debut on skis – see pictures and video. Fortunately he loves it. It’s in his genes. So cute on his proper little boots and skis. Started younger than his Dad who was 26 months old when he first ventured on skis. Jasper was only 22 months. Start them young.

I’m on me crutches and becoming reasonably mobile.

Call in at the Heber rehab centre t drop off bag of double dunking biscuits and a card for all the awesome staff who looked after me.

Then in the evening we go dow to TGIF with the Park City Mountain Sports group at Jeremy Ranch Country Club. Can’t believe it’s 63F when we set off at 18:00, like a summers evening.

Chris and DeShaun arrive around midnight. My meds and sleeping tablets ensure I sleep through it.

 

 

Kids finally shake a leg and get off skiing with Chris and DeShaun.

Ive managed to cut the Percocet down to 2 * 10Mg per day. Really need to get off these brain addler’s, you can feel them pausing your brain. Why any drug addict would want to be on this shit. Mind you the Valium I was on when in hospital was even worse. I can’t imagine how people cope with that.

Wendy nips up to team building, with Jasper, to pick up some $60 ski vouchers Todds got for us and then off to the daily supermarket trip. I’m left in with In The night Garden on TV. Addles your brains quicker than Percocet. Need to shake a leg and get up to get the controls to turn it off.

Afternoon starts with a trip to Walmart for socks. Yet another visit to Rite Aid, this time for some grease and slime for dry and cracked skin – is there no end to all this. Then, the real highlight, afternoon tea and coffee at Silver Star Cafe. A bit of sun and fresh air. Starting to get worried now as a 93 World War 2 veteran, complete with a steel bar in his right femur, shuffles up to me on his zimmer frame and starts chattering away. He has a superb zimmer frame, complete with sit down seat. Is this how I’m going to end up. Interesting guy to talk to and what a debt of gratitude we owe him.

Meanwhile Jasper’s giving Wendy the run around. Keeps her on her toes but her back struggles and as always I’m pretty useless.

Good news Jaspers has now learnt to say Papa. Prod him with my crutch and he says it like one of those push belly teddy bears.

 

 

Kurt and Chris finally get off and out for a day at the Canyons they really enjoyed it there.

Last of the Lovenox injections this morning. That’s a major breakthrough. It’s a daily 81Mg Aspirin from now.

For Wendy and I the highlight is a trip to St Patricks Day party at one of the superb homes around here, stunning views, of a member of the Park City Sports Club – a bring your own appetiser and BYOB. Sadly I get there open the door and there’s about 20 steep narrow stairs down to their lounge. Worse than an icy black mogul run. I have to pass on it, so we’ve Sushi as a starter for dinner, along with our usual Sunday roast, of course vegetables, for seven. Even Jasper tucks into some roast beef. Sadly not much of an easy Mothers Day for Wendy.

George and Helen pop round with half a dozen St Patricks day cakes and a hot chilli casserole.

 

 

Jaspers off to a superb kiddies park with a little lad named Tony. Same age as him. They have a whale of a time and two hours later he’s carried home flat out and ready for a good snooze.

Wendy and I are baby sitting again whilst the kids go down to the Outlet’s Centre. Jaspers a lot of fun but certainly a handful. Makes you realise why nature makes you have your kids young.

Meanwhile I’m making steady progress. Although cold right foot and poor circulation in right little finger is uncomfortable. Managed to cut the Percocet down to 1 * 10Mg per day. Need to go and see the pharmacist and see what he recommends as replacement for the Percocet if I need it. My philosophy is I’d rather have no pills to pop.

 

 

Shopping in the morning. See my rant below. Unbelievable.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10155369965095249&set=vb.621375248&type=2&theater

After lunch we go up to the Plaza and join the Park City Mountain Sports Club in the Baja Cantina for Tipsy Tuesday. 4 weeks and no alcohol but I go mad and have a non_alcoholic lager along with some Flautas – they’re so tasty.

 

 

Kurt and Fiona are off skiing so we’re child minding. Take Jasper down to Monkey Mountain for a play.

By way of yet another complication it seems I’m now suffering with Guyson Canal Syndrome (self diagnosed of course). My little finger’s tingling due to pressure from the crutches on my hand which is trapping a nerve. A real bugger, because without me crutches I’m immobile. I really am beginning to wonder whether all the side effects / complications are worse than the original problem – well not really – but it does make you appreciate how you hear of the elderly suffering a fall and it kills them off.

https://www.facebook.com/tony.w.edwards/posts/10155372762095249?pnref=story

 

 

Day started with a fantastic start, skiing up on the Dreamcatcher area of the canyons. Empty up there even at 11:00. Where is everyone? Perfect snow. Alpenglow was awesome. Skied it 3 times, it was so good. Then explored the rest of the area. Certainly revised my view of the Canyons.

Awesome snow and blue bird day.

THEN. End of day coming down an easy blue “Boomer”, skied around a line of kids and made a right. All of a sudden I’m heading into some giant icy moguls on a black diamond – apparently a black diamond – Super Fury – runs parallel with Boomer. No warning signs. Taken completely by surprise.

Whilst I was not going that fast it was certainly too fast to manage moguls of any kind, never mind the giant icy type. Survive the first two but wipe out on the last one. The rest is just history.

Shows how bad this spot is whilst I’m lay there being loaded onto a sledge, 6 other crashes occur.

For some perverse reason I seem to have stopped using the blog during my recovery, instead resorted to Facebook, so have included a .pdf of our Facebook page here as a 2nd alternative.

Tony Wendy Edwards

Hopefully back to my blog from now on.

 

 

3″ fresh virgin powder overnight. Up for early tracks and as Tycoons been groomed last night head straight up there for a couple of runs before it gets spoilt. Overall a good mornings skiing.

Wendy’s volunteering at the hospital.

In the evening Phil and Ruth come round for a drink. They’re from Brisbane. I met them on the mountain, we got chatting, and it turns out they’re doing their first home exchange in Lawrence’s place down at Kimbal Junction, where we did an home exchange 2 years ago.

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/tony.w.edwards/posts/10155208976760249

Wendy’s mountain hosting on the plaza.

Now riddle me this. Wendy sends into lost property, one ski. How does that occur? Is there someone on the mountain performing leg amputations?

A great days skiing with Carol and Hal.

 

 

Another spring skiing day. Go up to Deer Valley with Hal. I think we’re both feeling burnt out muscles from yesterdays tour de force.

Have a good day skiing though. I take a mid morning coffee break, while Hal tries Mayflower and some of the blacks over that side. Perseverance look really good but my legs are knackered so I need to save that for another day. We both survive Wizard, a double blue, sheet ice and bodies everywhere.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155212506040249&set=a.10152397913775249.954731.621375248&type=1&theater

I think by the end of this tour I’ll be speaking fluent American at this rate.

 

 

My first day as a plaza host. Up for the 07:30 workers bus; briefing 08:00; down in rentals until 10:00; plaza for the day; meet Wendy for coffee / her lunch; back to plaza; down in the bowls of the earth again for rentals from 15:30. Fortunately only 3 more of these to do, much prefer mountain hosting – at least you get to ski.

Boy was it hot and sunny. I’d slapped a load of that gunge on, but one of the managers was so concerned that my baldy pate was rapidly becoming a red nose beacon that she bought out a PCMR cap for me – how very kind.

Another cruelty to snow day.

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155222238715249&set=a.10152397913775249.954731.621375248&type=1&theater

Another spring skiing day. I’m up on King Kong mountain hosting – extra day. Early morning skiing is treacherous, especially on Temptation, skied out and icy.

By lunch time the 50F heat has done it’s job and the snows softened up. But oh so hot and sunny – spring skiing. Get a code green – euphemism for lost child. In this case it was two lost kids and Grandpa was in deep trouble with his daughter back in Ohio. All resolved successfully.

Did a few single run guest tours. Nice thing is we’re encouraged to ski, so much better than the plaza. By 15:30 the bases was a giant slush puppy. Makes for hard skiing. Even Silver Queen was a mogul slush puppy.

 

 

Can’t believe it, rain in the town. That’s the first time in 11 years of skiing we’ve ever experienced rain in the town, rather than snow. Bloody climate change. If it spoils the skiing then it really is urgent that governments start taking notice.

 

 

Thank Chione for the 3″ of snow overnight. Made all the difference.

Skied with the PCMSC Tipsy and Taco group. Ski until 14:30 and then meet up for Margaritas (tried one the other week, never again) and Mexican food. Settle for a couple of pints of cutthroat – broke one of the 10 laws of retirement yet again. Wendy joins us for a glass of water.

 

 

Looks like there was an inch of snow overnight, so although it’s almost a whiteout with the clouds there’s a nice smattering of powder on top. Makes for pleasant skiing. Still praying to Chione for more.

Meet Carol at the Snow Hut and have a good mornings skiing with her.

Wendy’s working at the hospital today so it’s going to be a hospital restaurant tea tonight.

Booked most of our summer trip. We’ve a week at our caravan in the Loire Valley; drive over to Italy via Geneva; a hosted home exchange in Verona (never done a hosted exchange so we’re both a little nervous, but will give it a try); then a VRBO in the Tuscan country side just outside Florence; a VRBO in Padua, so hopefully get a few days in Venice; back to caravan in Loire up the coast of Italy (still got to plan that).

 

 

Set out skiing at lunch time. 13:00 start my free ski workshop – euphemism for ski lesson, but sounds so much more macho and competent.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155185866750249&set=a.10153673070225249.1073741845.621375248&type=1&theater

Drop my skis of for repair. For the first time ever here, in 12 years, they’ve had a altercation with some rocks. The rock won. Need some deep poly filler and welding.

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155188320625249&set=a.10152397913775249.954731.621375248&type=1&theater

Continued skiing after lunch with a guy called George – great days skiing.

 

 

What an awesome mornings skiing.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155190573810249&set=a.10153673070225249.1073741845.621375248&type=1&theater

Quit at lunch time by which time the best of the virgin powder been churned into a haggard old slush.

After lunch Wendy and I take a bus into Main Street to see what all this Sundance fuss is about. Then have a stroll down to Starbucks for a Clover moment – Ethiopian Konga supposedly has the flavours of strawberries and berries, although I can’t taste them it is a flavoursome coffee and leaves a gorgeous after taste. Lash out and buy a packet.

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155196702640249&set=a.10153673070225249.1073741845.621375248&type=1&theater

 

 

It’s a centenary celebration day. We’ve had another inch of powder overnight. The flags should be flying, bands playing and we should all be bowing, freezing our tongues to the snow, in worship of Chione – Goddess of Snow – as we’ve now topped the “100 Inches of snow this season mark”.

Met George at the top of Summit for a days skiing. Hal was out too, so he joined us. Two advanced skiers. Try following Hal doing those controlled short radius turns of his and at the same time remembering all Mike (instructors) tips. A real challenge but worth it.

Have a great days skiing until about 14:00. Must have got about 18 runs in.

Sunday was last day of Sundance Film Festival. What a nightmare, bubble heads everywhere, how those bus drivers cope I’ll never know.
Buses were absolute chaos. I came home and just had to have a Victor Meldrew moment to cope with it. Fortunately Wendy found all the episodes of “One Foot in the Grave” on Youtube. I was amazed that they were all available

After two episodes from season one I’ve regained my composure. Awesome, a fantastic cure all.

Now at least the town and the bus service should be back to normal.

 

 

A couple of inches fresh snow last night.

Meet the PCMS group for a good days skiing followed by Margaritas in the Baja Cantina. Not for me. Tried one last week and that was enough.

Wendy looks after Angela in the afternoon. iPad games and watching Annie keeps her engrossed. Easily pleased.

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/tony.w.edwards/posts/10155156719130249?pnref=story

What a fantastic day. I now have 47 hints and tips to work on to improve my skiing. Mainly spread my legs apart (not the sort of advice you give to a daughter) and lean into my boots, weight forward and lean into the fear. And best of all it was all free.

 

 

I know I skied today, and fell asleep through most of the evenings TV, after a few glasses of wine, but thats about all I can remember.

Oh that was it a lazy start. Up on Temptation for 11:00. Practised all my 47 hints and tips to fix me bad habits. Really difficult keeping legs further apart and leaning forward and into my boots is tormenting some new muscles.

Back home for 15:00. Plumber turns up to fix the heating. As suspected it was a dirty filter stopping the warm air flow and also causing the boiler to overheat (pity it didn’t share any of those excess therms with us) and cut out. Anyway all fixed and now Wendy can fry.

 

 

It’s the start of Sundance Film Festival fortnight. Two weeks of mayhem and chaos with the pretty film people parading around, high heels, “fur coats and no knickers” as we say.

Yeah, they’re going to let me go up with the big boys as a mountain host, rather than just a plaza host, so I did a great mornings training with Todd. Most of it’s fairly straight forward, until you come to having to deal with the radio, but at least I can do a 10-4. Your day as a mountain host starts at 08:00 with briefing and assignments; then onto plaza or meeting points from 08:30 to 10:00 to meet, greet and dish out maps and information; then back to lockers to get kitted up; up onto the mountain to our assigned map, where we answer questions and direct skiers and even snowboarders around the mountain.

Good news is there’s 3 of us assigned to each map, so at any one time there’s someone at the map and someone out skiing. You’re encouraged to take guests on single ski tours. Then there’s breaks for caffeine and lunch. So not all bad and we should get to meet plenty of people and get in some skiing, in between dealing with code Greens (separated children, they’re not lost merely separated) and code 10-50 (accidents, where we summon up mountain patrol, the cavalry, and try and keep the injured guest calm).

After an eventful morning with Todd, meet up with Wendy for her lunch and my dirty chai with two extra shots. Looking forward to my first full day on the mountain

Drop skis and uniform off in our locker and then off to supermarket to lug some essential supplies home.

 

 

On the slopes with the lazy holiday brigade at 10:00. A few runs; coffee; a few runs. Work on keeping my legs apart (not good advice to any daughters); leaning forward, into my boots; holding poles forward – this one makes me feel, and probably look, like a complete plonker.

Follow up with a Starbucks Clover moment and meet Wendy who’s been down to the outlet stores for some retail therapy. It’d be cheaper if she’d ski.

 

 

Up at 06:00 to catch the 07:30 workers bus; followed by 08:00 Mountain host briefing; 08:30 to 09:45 down at First Time ticket office dolling out advice and grooming reports; then get geared up; 10:30 on the map at top of Silverload until 15:30; slow ski patrol rotation until 16:15; followed by final ski down and help any stragglers.

Quite a good day. Awesome weather. You get to meet and chat to lots of different people, even snowboarders. Get plenty of ski runs in through the day. Even get to take guest on single run ski tours. Pretty good day.

On final run down thought I’d finally got the excitement of a 10-50 (accident) to be called into the ski patrol. Snowboarder was splayed out, but she wouldn’t stay down, managed to struggle to he feet, so didn’t get the excitement of a radio 10-50 call.

 

 

Awesome bluebird day. It’s just like spring skiing. Too hot. A cruelty to snow day. Use our weekly free Deer Valley pass.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155174190660249&set=a.10152397913775249.954731.621375248&type=1&theater

Good mornings skiing with Wendy. Did well on her first day. She got 5 runs in and as always she is so much in control, I wish I could be so controlled in my skiing. Amazing how you never forget, just like riding a bike.

Late lunch at Snowpack lodge, except that there’s nothing that Wendy fancies, so it’s just a coffee and home.

 

 

Have a lazy start. Another too warm day, not doing the snow any good. Get my 10 runs in, then it’s back home to help out with a trip to the supermarket and better still the liquor store.

In the evening Rick and Lynda come round for dinner, we have a pleasant evening catching up and helping the American wine industry.

Please Chione, bless us with some snow tonight. Hopefully a little more than the half inch forecast.

 

 

At last I have my free season ski pass so can get out on the mountain for 09:00. Sadly Eagle lift is out of operation so no quick way to the top, but hey it’s just awesome to be back and they’ve 20″ fresh snow over the past few days.

By 10:30 I’ ready for my usual coffee break by the log fire in the Snow Hut. Sadly the fires not yet lit, but this mornings entertainment is watching an imbecile try to light a fire. 1st chop wood with an axe the size of a Swiss Army knife – an abject failure. Next pile wood in fireplace and the put paper on top. Light paper, scratch head, pick nose as he wonders why it goes out. Now he’s burnt himself.

Back out skiing and get my 10 runs in before lunch.

After lunch go down to the Outlets centre and manage to get a five mile walk in.

In the evening fall asleep watching Broadchurch. Nothing at all to do with the wine, it’s all down to all that fresh air and exercise.

 

 

In the morning have a Classic Cross Country ski lesson booked with the Park City Mountain Sports Club up at White Pines. Get a 1 hour lesson and then do the 3Km loop. Unlike Skate this is a tad less strenuous and I survive without feeling wetter than a water hogs back side and feeling powfagged.

Meet Wendy for a Starbucks.

States we have visited so far:

 

 

Meet up with Heidi (she bought the place we stayed at last year) at 10:00 for a mornings skiing.

Then we meet up with Wendy for lunch.

You know you’re a local when the bus drivers know your name and give you a hug. For the avoidance of any doubt, and not to tarnish Victors reputation, the hugging bit is confined to Wendy.

Park City – the best bus service ever – and it’s free.

 

 

Wendy’s doing her first full day as a Plaza Host so she’s out on the 07:30 bus for the 08:00 Host meeting and then has a full day on the Plaza and in rentals.

I’ve managed to swop my first duty so I can do the Mountain Guide Training session with the National Ability Centre (NAC). Spend most of the day in a classroom, but manage an hour on the slopes when we’re put through our paces and checked out that we can really ski. Part of it means giving up your ski poles and skiing without them. Then at the end of the day there’s a short, easy test and hey presto your qualified to take disabled skiers, who are capable of skiing independently, on a mountain tour. Should be fun. The NAC does an awesome job with disabled skiers and even snow boarders of all ability. It’s a credit to them and totally appropriate that they are called the National “Ability” Centre.

I’ll still be doing some volunteering, as I did last year, assisting an instructor.

On a good day you may see Wendy or even me on the plaza being helpful and nice to people, even snowboarders:

http://www.parkcitymountain.com/site/mountain-info/mountain-cams/index.html

 

 

Wendy’s working on the plaza again today.

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Lunch with the worker (Wendy). Managed to slip another 5 runs in. Awesome day. This truly is paradise.

Then had a walk into town to Chubasco to pick up a Burrito for me tea. My favourite.

 

 

Just another ski day. Start at Eagle as usual. Thankfully it’s started running.

 

 

Up at Eagle lift for 09:00 for an early start. Snow is still pretty good.

Met the Park City Mountain Sports ski group at 10:45 and skied with them until margarita time in the Baja Cantina. Wendy came up and joined us. Violated my first law and had my first margarita – probably my last.

 

 

Well we finally get to escape again. Back “home”, paradise, Park City, for 3 months skiing. My only proper holiday.

I’m not going to say much about the journey. Just fairly typical, 24 hours of misery. Complete with the usual crap from the TSA brigade. However one amazing event, we got through immigration pretty quickly, in fact so quick we then had to wait for our luggage. Wow that’s first. But then the TSA made up for it with their inordinately long queue to screen us yet again even though we’d been done in Manchester and remained airside all that time. Riddle me that!

As this is our 11th year in Park City I think this blog is going to be a tad sparse on photos. It’s mainly a reminder for us of what we did, ready for our dotage. However, rants and corny jokes will not be sacrificed. There’s still plenty of lunacy in the World. Another change is that I will only publish once a week.

 

 

It’s like a glorious spring day here. Too warm for a ski resort in January. Snows a bit sparse so we can ill afford it to be melting. There’s only a 44″ base and they’ve had 73″ snow so far this year.

Up at crack of sparrows. Lavish American breakfast at Squatters. Unpack and sort out. Pick up a free Dirty Chai (scanner is kaput) at Starbucks and Earl Grey for Wendy. Then off for some excitement down at Costco followed by an adrenaline top up at Fresh Market. I manage to escape to Starbucks. Nip around to Carols for afternoon tea and pick up our ski clothes and importantly our ski boots. Our bikes and skis were waiting for us in our garage.

Sadly we don’t receive our winter hosting training until Tuesday, so will have to wait until then for our free season pass.

 

 

I drove up to the plaza. Checked in at the National Ability Centre for volunteering and had a pleasant Dirty Chai. I blame that Eva for introducing me to them.

After lunch we finish off some minor shopping.

In the evening drop the Hertz mobile off. I go down to the Spur Bar to meet up with the Park City Mountain Sports club and hopefully join. First encounter really worries me. Ask two actual members, if they can point out group leader. They don’t seem to realise they are members of PCMSC, but just think it’s an old folks club. Average age does seem to be mid 50’s. Are they all senile and in their dotage like these two who look like the two old geezers from the Muppet show. Should I really be joining. I’m too young!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155113382035249&set=a.10153673070225249.1073741845.621375248&type=1&theater

$25 to join and they have lots of ski trips, training and social evenings which sensibly seem to revolve around bars, plenty of Apres Ski and Margaritas. Give it a go.

 

 

As I don’t have my free ski pass I go on the PCMS Club Cross Country Skate skiing course. Real good value. The savings recover the cost of my annual membership.

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Wendy’s still not so good. Suffering with catarrh, so she has a restful day in.

 

 

A measly inch of snow overnight, but all great fully received.

Lazy day in as there’s no NAC requirements. By mid afternoon I’ve completed Einsteins Autobiography – a tad disappointing – made a start on 1776 and am ready to climb the walls. Go to a Yoga session at the gym, it’s just 5 minutes away.

You never see any blobbies doing Yoga, they’re always lithe young things that can bend like pretzels, balanced on one leg. It’s quite an intense session, half of the positions I’ve never done. Quite difficult as I’m skulking on the back row so can hardly hear the complex instructions and my glasses keep falling off so can hardly see. To make matters worse it’s a 90 minute session. Cream crackered by the end of it.

 

 

Lazy morning. Then in the afternoon we can’t resist going out in the snow to do some none essential shopping.

 

 

Training day. Up to PCMR to receive our mountain host training. Most of it’s quite simple until it comes to the radio’s, complete with 10-20, 10-17 code green resolved, 10-blue, but at least I finally get to say 10-4. This is going to take some getting used to. Get our ski uniform, hats, inner jacket, outer jacket and trousers all by Helly Hensen – quality gear – mind you we’ll need it out there in a howling blizzard. Best of all we each get our free season ski pass (that’s saved us $800 each), on top of which we get a free pass each week for Deer Valley and one for Brighton; 50% off food and drinks; best of all free ski lessons; some discounted guest passes.

 

Well won’t be sitting on the balcony this morning. There’s these bloody big vultures on the balconies and roofs. If I nod off I’ll have no eyes left and if one of them poops on you then I’ll drown.

Drive up to Dallas, 270 miles. On the way we keep seeing these announcements on the traffic alert information system about a silver alert. What the hell is a silver alert? Well, a Silver Alert is a public notification system in the United States to broadcast information about missing persons – especially senior citizens with Alzheimer’s disease, dementia or other mental disabilities – in order to aid in their recovery. Could be our claim to fame anytime soon!

Visit Southfork Ranch. Sadly a must see, having been ardent Dallas fans and never missed an episode.

It’s much smaller than we imagined and as you would expect with any TV production they never actually filmed inside the ranch. But an interesting tour, even if we did feel like a couple of sado’s.

Then it’s back into Dallas to our hotel.

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I’m dizzy. Feeling like the proverbial goldfish, I’m sure I’ve just been under this bridge before, before, before! What warped individual dreamed this up. It’s fine if you get on the right one but may Chione help you if you’re on the wrong one. I think the best solution is to dump the car on one of these flyovers and abseil down.

Despite it’s location (it’ll never win an award for views from window), it’s quiet, clean, well kitted out, modern, good breakfast and our suite has two rooms (Comfort Suite), wet bar, TV’s galore and all for $75 a night – £48. How’s that for value.

Gird me loins and drive out to an Olive Garden for Dinner. Mediocre. Memo to self don’t bother with Olive Garden again. Stick to homemade Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo because most of the other menu items at the Olive Garden are mediocre.

 

 

Catch to DART into Dallas, so much better than risking the Interstate mayhem and only $5 for free transport all day.

Earwigging on a conversation from two rough looking dudes, with feet on the seats, is nigh impossible. They may well be speaking some form of English but their Texan drawl is so bad I can just about make out “Y’all” and “f.ck”. I resist the temptation to ask the scrots to remove their feet, as does the ticket inspector, self preservation, and fear of being another gun statistic is sometimes the better part of good citizenship.

First stop is the Kennedy assassination tour at the 6th Floor of the Dallas School Book depository at Dealey Plaza. Quite an interesting, if somewhat sad, museum. Gives you a good grounding in the events of that day. Pass on a tour of Oswalds Home, how sad can you get.

Of course there’s load of conspiracy theories as to who killed him, from the mob, KGB, Castro, to the CIA. But I think I’ve hit on the truth. It was the Dallas Tourist office, more specifically their Marketing Department (remember my theory, marketing departments are responsible for a lot of the evil in the World), that had him shot. Why? Well Dallas lacked any real tourist attractions prior to his assassination and needed a boost, this was a sure fired way to drum up some tourists. This along with visiting Southfork’s all sad really.

Then we have a walking tour of Dallas. Really is the best way to see a city.

After lunch we go to the Bush Library – 2nd Bush that is. It’s more than a library. A very interesting museum. Very plush and with more staff than visitors but well worth it and much better than expected. They have a full sized,exact replica of the Oval Office and you allowed to sit and photograph to your hearts content.

All go in Oval Office, just signed off on that spelling mistake on the 2nd – “bear arms” becomes “bare arms”. Just think how much death, injury and heartache that can thwart.

Next change to get rid of those Southern State Blue laws and their infringement on the 1st Amendment. Then we can buy bear and wine on a Sunday.

Overall gave me a better perception of Bush, but then we learn of his “complicity” in the CIA torture so called scandal. I bet the terrorist are having such a good belly laugh that the explosives are dropping out their bomb vests. What price safety? Do the ends justify the means when fighting such a vile terrorist ideology? And what about the blame that descends on government / CIA when they do nothing?

 

 

After breakfast we drive over to the Stockyards at Fort worth. Have a browse around and watch the twice daily cattle drive. Those long horns look pretty terrifying but I imagine they could do their stunt without the need of cowboys.

Then drive down into Fort Worth to see the Water Gardens. They’re amazing and you can walk down into them – a tad unnerving.

Avoid the Interstate on our trip back and get to see more of small town Texas and more Traffic lights than Talibans at a stoning.

Drive through the dead centre of Texas, Hamilton. Well judging by the size of the graveyard, in relation to the size of the town it must be. Why, you’d think the whole of Texas is buried here.

Then just as we near home, both desperate for the toilet, disaster strikes. Yes, we get the dreaded school bus in front of us. That’s it we’re doomed for a 10 minute journey to take an hour as we stop and watch rug rats with phones glued to their ears saunter across the road like a puppy with zero street smarts, totally unaware of the traffic.