Then after all that frustration it’s off to the supermarket / Starbucks for the excitement of the weekly shop.
Wow it’s quite cold. Well only 60F but after all the heat we’ve had it now feels colder than a witch’s titty in a brass bra doin’ push-ups in the snow. Dread to think how Belthorn’s going to feeling when we get back.
Finally a trip to the gym, including the Fitbit lady, who now has the bit between her teeth and wants to get those step counts up. I can see it costing a gym membership when we get home.
Latest Bud Light commercial. American pinkle water. Nothing like a proper Reinheitsgebot beer.
Mind you this adverts enough to put anybody off any beer.
Real Time with Bill Maher: Fighting Fundamentalism
A real frog strangler overnight. We wake up to a flooded marsh and flash flood warnings are in operation. It’s forecast rain all day. Rather than hunker down we decide to take a short drive the Charleston Tea Plantation. They do a free (always a good word) factory tour and it’ll be indoors.
As we drive off Seabrook Island we begin to wonder whether we’ll make it as the only access road is severely flooded from the overnight rain. It seems that the recent hurricane has so soaked the ground that subsequent rains just overload the grounds ability to absorb anymore. Apparently the hurricane wasn’t so much the problem as the 1,000 year rain that came with it. Yes another weather superlative, the worts rains in a 1,000 years – perhaps the FSM can explain how they know that far back.Anyway we make it to the plantation. Take the tour, sample some teas and of course at the end of the tour there’s the merchandising opportunity. I was surprised that tea was grown down here. Apparently the only tea plantation in America.
Home to The Charleston Tea Plantation, Wadmalaw provides the perfect environment for propagating tea. With its sandy soils, sub-tropical climate and average rainfall of 52 inches per year, Wadmalaw possess idyllic conditions for the Camellia Sinensis plant. This plant is currently used to produce both black and green teas and exists in over 320 varieties on the 127 acre grounds of the Charleston Tea Plantation.
Then it’s back home for afternoon coffee.
Just watched a programme on the Drake equation which Attempts to define the number of planets with intelligent life – see below:
Well I’ve come up with my own formula to help define the number of intelligent life forms to be found in the Palace of Westminster:
Try it. No matter what values you use, for some reason, it always miraculously comes up with the right answer.
The one thing there seems to be in abundance here, in the aptly named Bible belt, is churches. More churches than there are black Burkas being brandished and bounding around Blackburn. Surely to justify there existence people must have to visit at least 4 different churches every Sunday.
The above is an actual science quiz given to 4th graders at Blue Ridge Christian Academy in South Carolina. This particular Christian Academy is a tiny school, it’s private, it’s got Christian right there in the name so you know where they’re coming from, and like a good portion of America’s much-heralded private schools it apparently exists to give children the shittiest possible education that money can buy, the sort of education that will get them laughed at for the rest of their life. Or something. No, there’s nothing in American law that says you can’t give your children the silliest possible education. If you want, you can teach them that there’s a chocolate tea cup circulating around the sun and the moon is made of gorgonzola. It’s not nice, but you’re allowed
Unbelievable as it may be, but more than four in 10 Americans continue to believe that God created the Earth and humans less than 10,000 years ago. I’m sure the majority of those 40% live down here in the bible belt, but even more terrifying is they occupy Congress and the Senate.
Weathers back to normal, thank the FSM.
Up and out to the gym, with lady Fitbit. Not too early though.
Looking around the gym is somewhat disheartening. Average age must be 70. Then you realise this is your age group, we’re well on your way to the big 70. Mind you it’s so much better than the alternative – we’re the lucky ones. After all who wants to be dwelling for ever in the fire, drinking boiling water, whilst surrounded by jihadi dickheads swigging back rivers of wine, while copulating with 70 voluptuous breasted, black eyed, perpetual virgins.After lunch we have a drive up to the Angel Oak. A 400 year old Living Oak tree, on crutches to stop it collapsing.
As with all attractions American there’s a merchandising opportunity, even if it is in a rickety wood shack that may collapse around our ears at any moment. In there though is a black (yes you can say that in America) lady making Sweetgrass Baskets. She just so happens to have a lovely Elephant Ears basket. Quite a big one and just like we’ve been looking for. It seems to my now tutored eye to be well made and after some haggling we agree on a price, heavily discounted for cash.Then it’s off down to Folly Beach. Quite a nice little hamlet with a fishing pier and best of all free parking. Have a Starbucks at the hotel on the beach. All very relaxing as we watch the surfers and dolphins. Pleasant end to another pleasant day.
TOP ECONOMIST SAYS COST OF LIVING WILL FALL BY 8 PER CENT ON DAY ONE IF BRITAIN LEAVES THE EU:
Let’s get out and get our sovereignty back in the bargain.
Set off down to Charleston. Do the Fort Sumter tour. Very pleasant, a leisurely 30 minute ride out by boat; one hour on the fort where you can listen to a ranger give a most passionate and interesting lecture on the fort; wander around at your leisure; a small museum; a small merchandising opportunity; a pleasant boat trip back.
Fort Sumter Where the American Civil War BeganDecades of growing strife between North and South erupted in civil war on April 12, 1861, when Confederate artillery opened fire on this Federal fort in Charleston Harbor. Fort Sumter surrendered 34 hours later. Union forces would try for nearly four years to take it back.
Then do a 90 minute bus tour of Charleston. All very interesting and elegant but our tour guide has the most mono-tonal drawl we’ve ever encountered. We have to keep pinching one another to stay awake. The complete opposite of the passionate talk given by the ranger.Catch the trolley down to the Apple store for a viewing of the new iPad Pro. Wow it’s fast, reckoned to be faster than 90% of todays laptops. Great screen and keyboard (not that they have any) seems to work well. Awesome for viewing TV or movies. Do we keep up to date? Hopefully it’ll replace my need for the a Macbook, and thereby save me a fortune and all that extra kit to lug around. With the keyboard I think I can do away with my MacBook. Do we or don’t we? We do.
Followed by a well deserved Starbucks, a stroll back to the car and home.
Another full day. Another great day. An expensive day.Can you believe it? According to Trip Advisor the number 3 attraction in Charlestone is a bridge. Is Charleston so bereft of attractions that a bridge rates so highly. I think not. I rate Trip advisor, use it to plan visits and write reviews, but come on it’s a bridge. You can walk over it and drive over it and it’s modern, but 2,048 reviews – I bet they’re all vegetarian train spotters. Blimey, people will be writing reviews on the 4th tree on the right in park. No ones written a review on the Apple Store – yet!
It seems our fate around here to always end up in the rush hour traffic going home. It’s particularly bad due to the bridges. If there’s a boat going through one of the draw bridges well you might as well get your sleeping bag out and kip down for the night.
“Can’t see them in the dark because they’re black” says Wendy. Pardon, you can’t say that. You’ll be banning off white people going out after sunset next. Ironically we have this discussion at dusk, whilst whiling away a few hours in traffic, and then driving home, late and dark, down an unlit road which is just a tunnel of living oaks, out pops a black man. I swear he was in brown – camouflage – and attempting to do jumping jacks in the middle of the road. Fortunately I miss him, but I’ll be back tomorrow night.
Talk about more security, more delays at airports, and yet:
On Tuesday the Homeland Security department’s inspector-general, John Roth, told the congressional oversight committee that in 95% of cases, his agents were able to get smuggled fake explosives and other banned devices through all the screening and pat-downs.
“The failures included failures in technology, TSA procedures and human error. We found layers of security simply missing.” He added, with devastating effect: “These results were not unexpected.”
If the bomb was planted by airport staff there can surely be no benefit to putting passengers through more trials and tribulations.
The Israelis laugh at us for our approach. They say that we look for bombs, they look for bombers. Of course that means profiling which our rather compulsive desire not to cause offense prevents us from doing.
PROFILE YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE. On top of which it might make the so called moderate muslims take a more active stance against these fanatical barbarians who are turning the World against their so called religion.
Typical muslim gratitude. A formal lunch between the French president and his Iranian counterpart during next week’s historic meeting has had to be scrapped after the Elysée Palace reportedly refused Iran’s request to serve up halal meat and no wine. It appears the Iranian presidency’s request for halal meat to be served and for the wine to be left off the table, which is a common request by Iran, was rejected by officials at the Elysée. “A meal had been planned but fell through,”.
In an attempt to reach a compromise, the Elysée suggested a breakfast meeting instead, but this was reportedly rejected by the Iranians as being “too cheap”.
What can you expect. Perhaps this geezers not bothered to read the Quran, the pure word of Allah, for it seems alcohols ok in paradise.Quran 47:15 “…..rivers of milk of which the taste never changes; rivers of wine delicious to those who drink; and rivers of clarified honey (clear and pure) therein for them is every kind of fruit”. It seems though that us infidels – Peace be upon the FSM – will have to rot in hell and “…..shall dwell for ever in the Fire, and be given, to drink, boiling water, so that it cuts up their bowels….”
Good for Hollande. His only mistake was inviting the barbarians in the first place.