Settled into our Home Exchange for the next two weeks here at Seabrook Island. It’s a lovely one bedroom condo looking out onto the marshes and river, complete with car – big SUV, we can live in it if need be – fly proof balcony, bikes and two kayaks. All mod cons (with the exception of a kettle – a rare piece of high tech in most American homes), very comfortable and we instantly feel at home. To top it all off it has 35Mbps Internet to calm the rants of a nerd constantly battling with technology and web sites that are about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Take the Hertz mobile back to the airport. Classic isn’t it, I’m in the tank and Wendy’s following. Get to the Hertz return and big sign “No Personal cars”. What they expect me to go and park up in the car park 2 miles away and Wendy to then walk to it after she’s dropped the car off. Get a friggin grip, this is America, land of the wobbling jollux, nobody but nobody walks. Who the hell pays their wages – yes it’s me the guy who keeps having the delusion he’s a customer.
Drive down to Charleston. What a lovely city. They have streets with shops in, how unusual. Not just homogenous multi- national chains either, but individual shops with some character. All very pleasant, but best of all they have an Apple store and it has a little black box with my name on it. I pre-ordered the Apple TV for in-store pick up, as usual all very efficient. Like a kid with a new toy to play with.Surprisingly busy for a downtown on a Sunday. Oh so nice to see a vibrant downtown rather than a charity shop ghost town created via some giant plastic out of town mall.
My it is hot and oh so humid you could beat the water out of the air with a boat paddle. End up wetter than a water hogs backside. Summer here must be more humid and hotter than hell and half of Georgia.
Good visitors centre.
Has anyone noticed the rise of the exelator hand dryers in toilets. You know those hand dryers which force out a blast of supersonic air that knocks you off your feet and requires you to wear ear defenders before operating. They’re louder than sticking your head up the exhaust of Concords jet engine. Now in the land where you can sue for coffee cups not carrying a danger warning, and microwaves ovens not explicitly warning you not to dry your poodle, I’m thinking of going for a class action for damages to my hearing.
Off for a bike ride around the Island.
We’ve got bikes with the home exchange and whilst not wanting to sound un appreciative they lack brakes and gears. To stop you have to back peddle. No gears is not an issue as the Islands very flat, but no brakes makes them a H&S nightmare. I suppose their only saving grace is that they have fewer parts to go wrong.
As usual Wendy whining like a two year old. “You never told me it was this far”. “Are we there yet”?We finally get to the Beach House with my ears ringing from the whinging tirade, and the whining increases to a crescendo of vitriol when we find it’s closed for the season so no drinks. All my fault of course.
Wendy just about survives.
Have some lunch and then drive down to the Island shops – yes these are open. Have a wander around some pleasant but very expensive shops selling all the usual tat you need for up market Island living. Everything from Martini glasses to kayaks and Starbucks coffee to star fruits.
Sadly too many aspect of this are too true:
To say nothing of the £13,000,000,000 (Yes, that’t the correct number of zeroes) we give away in foreign aid to corrupt states; rogue states who support terrorism; countries who hate us; countries with nuclear weapons and countries with space programmes.
Off to the gym at Seabrook Lakehouse. Membership comes free with our home exchange. Great gym and good sized indoor laps pool.
It’s good to know that female intellectual stimulation and high standards of literacy is ubiquitous in America, as evidenced by the lady on the walking machine, who was avidly reading some supermarket flyer full of special offer adverts.
Set off down to Charleston. Catch the free trolley bus to riverfront. Have a walk back and after inspecting many prospects for lunch settle on Starbucks once again. See a lovely Elephant Ear Sweetgrass bowl, similar to the one in the condo, all for $250. Tempting, a tad pricey but they are rather magnificent and 80 hours work.
Then we drive down to Mount Pleasant for a look around. See some more Sweetgrass bowls.
Wendy is now a Fitbit as I treat her to the Fitbit HR. I think she’s going to start training for a marathon.
Gym is open in the evening so I have a quick trip to the gym before me tea. Finish the day off with a drop of red.
Dave Allen on airplanes:
What an awesome comedian from the past.
Millions of chickens will suffer painful deaths because ministers want to protect “religious freedoms” for Muslims and Jews.
The government is refusing to introduce a more reliable method of stunning the animals before they are killed, according to vets. Rules coming into force in England tomorrow could result in birds remaining conscious and able to feel pain after being dipped in an electrical water bath.
Simple if you don’t like the way we do things then leave.
So this supreme bogey man in the sky is so supreme that his memory is that bad he can’t remember what he’s said, and even contradicts himself – I rest my case.