Tony & Wendy's Travel Blog

I lead my leisure ski group in the morning. Hal joins us and gives some lessons to the group, that goes down a treat.

Anna and León were late up so we planned to meet them at our coffee break, but we broke for coffee a tad late so missed them.

Had a good morning skiing with the group.

Lazy afternoon, Wendy has the car at the hospital.

In the evening we all drive over to Heber for dinner with Hal and Carol. Have a lovely meal of Raclet – Wendy wants one of the Raclet cookers – it’s such a sociable meal as you all cook your own cheese and chat, while the steak and shrimps cook on the hot stone.

Go up skiing with Anna and Leon. Catch the Quick Silver gondola over to the Canyons. I ski a few runs with them, especially Copperhead – one of my favourites over there. Then leave them to ski the rest of the canyons whilst I make my way back to PC. Have an awesome mornings skiing. Best and most vertical – 17,000 feet – this season. Snow was excellent and good weather.

Lazy afternoon. Pick Wendy up at the Christian centre.

Anna’s on her 3rd pair of boots and still suffering cold feet as well as uncomfortable boots.

In the evening we catch the bus dow to the High West Saloon for whisky tasting and dinner.

At the High West I’m most impressed with only a 10 minute wait for a table and they text you, even international numbers, when your tables ready. Typical though we want to spend some time at the bar whisky tasting and our tables ready. Good food, especially the Elk Chilli, and the Bourye is very tasty. Think I need a bottle. Lash out on a couple of small whisky glasses. Dine in the new West Wing and it’s so much quieter than the main dinning room.

Anna and Leon set off for Deer Valley. It really isn’t worth my while paying all that money for a few hours skiing so I ski PC.

Meet Wendy at lunch time and we walk back home after picking up a free Chocolate Birthday cake for Angela from the Christian centre – it’s massive.

Then Wendy and I are off to a Newcomers Club welcome event – free wine and nibbles. Sat Nav manages to loose us – joy. Meet quite a few new people and am approached about doing Leisure Bike rides for them in the summer.

We’re back home for 18:30 so it’s burgers and baked beans for tea, whilst we watch Question time with Nigel Farage. They really should make him Prime Minister, he’d be excellent at negotiating Brexit as he understands all the EU conniving and sleazy ways.

Ten pin bowling in the morning.

Lazy afternoon then dinner up at the hospital restaurant with Bob, Marilyn, Anna and Leon. Yes, can you believe it going to the hospital for dinner. Not the sort of thing you’d ever dream of in the UK, but food is good and hospital is awesome – I should know.

Take Anna and Leon to the gun range for some fun. Start off with a .22; 9mm Wilson combat; .44 magnum revolver; finish with an AR15. Wow that Magnum had a good kick.

Then it’s off to the Christian centre for everyone, I escape to Starbucks. Good job as they were two hours at the Christian Centre, I’d began to think they were all being baptised and taking holy orders.

Home for a quick change and then we’re off out to the Boneyard for dinner. It’s heaving. More crowded that muslims gyrating around the Kaba. Fortunately you can get alcohol to while away the hours while you wait for a table. A table that smaller than Jaspers TV table, on top of which we have to sit on these high chairs that give me altitude sickness and nose bleeds. Fall off one of them and you’d find yourself resting on a mortuary slab.

Overall a good meal, even if they did bring the starter out at the same time as the mains. But a few kind words from yours truly and that problem was soon rectified. And to be fair they did “Take care of the starter.”, which is American for “We’ve not charged you for it.”.

Met Hal, Carol and Angela at Miners camp. I did a run with them and then skied down with Anna to change her boots. All met up again for lunch – well chips for Angela – at Miners camp and then they all skied off to the Canyons.

I went home to get ready for yet another Apres ski party – BYOB. Had a good afternoon at the Apres ski, but really should avoid sin and stick to my “No drinking during the day.” commandment, because then I end up drinking in the evening.

Anna and Leons last night so we spend most of the evening chatting.

I’m off skiing early. Winds Anna up that I get to go off skiing and they’re going home.

Ski with Helens group. There’s been 14″ in the past 48 hour, 7′ of which fell overnight so we’re treated to an awesome powder day. Lot’s of powder, mogul and chopped up runs. Really makes you work. Awesome days skiing, we even get to stop for coffee.

Wendy picks me up at 13:00 and we take Anna and Leon down to the airport. Then I get the real treat of yet another trip to Costco, just to top up.

It’s our first quiet evening in for weeks – such a hectic social life out here, it’s awesome.

Another sunny day here in paradise and good snow. It’s my day to lead a ski group. Just 6 of us today. Ski until 13:00 and then it’s back home for me. Colder

Pass on Tipsy Tuesday daytime drinking. Instead go home and do some consultancy work on my CCTV checking software. Sadly I don’t really have the enthusiasm for it, but get started on it. After all it helps pay for the skiing.

In the evening we’ve been invited for dinner at Laurie and Mike. Don’t know them from Adam, they’re neighbours, Laurie popped round the other day and invited us. How friendly and typically American is that – no wonder we need a social secretary out here. Bloody hell we’ve lived in the same house in Belthorn for 40+ years and don’t think we’ve ever been to dinner with any of our neighbours – typically British. Have a greta evening with good company, food and wine.

Skiing on my own in the morning. It was forecast to be cold again – started off at 0 degrees, doesn’t sound too bad until you realise it was 0 Fahrenheit – thankfully it was sunny so not quite as cold as yesterday. Definitely a long john day though.

In the afternoon Bob and I toddle off to the gun range to perforated some cardboard. Have a choice of Bob’s 9mm automatic and his revolver. Pleased with my groupings, especially seem to do better on the big targets – perverse. You can tell we’re getting cocky as we move targets out to 30 feet.

Bob stays for dinner as he’s in bachelor mode this week.

Lazy morning and out on the slopes for 11:00. Ski and coffee until about 15:00. Queues aren’t too bad but the slopes are oh so busy. Snowing on and off all day.

Then it’s off to the quiz. Great they have a British question round. Sadly it’s all on the Royal Family – I wish the Americans would get their own King and then at least they’d stop obsessing about ours. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked will Charles ever be King, I’d be able to afford a place on Park Meadows. The latest, from the American conspiracy brigade, “was Mrs Simpson really a man?” No, and the CIA were not responsible for 911 and Aliens have not captured Elvis. Thankfully, even though they were Royal questions, we got all that round right, or else I don’t think we’d have been able to live it down.

Try some of the more pricey High West whiskies. You certainly get what you pay for.

Wendy’s managed to get a snow scraper from darling Darlene at the local Hertz. Trying to scrape off 14″of snow with a 4″ scraper is no fun.

Dinner in, on our own tonight for a change.

3″ new snow overnight and it’s snowing on and off all day.

Go bowling with the Newcomers club. What an abysmal performance on my part. I blame it on the noise from the club. Tenpin bowling in America is a real ear opener; plenty of noise; congratulations; high fives; screams of surprise or anguish. Different from the quiet reserve of English tenpin bowling. Think the American version more fun – especially if you have ear defenders.

Then I have to go wine and whisky shopping. Incredible as it may sound it so much more fun driving and shopping in a snow storm and Park City is so pleasant. Sadly can’t buy any Yipee Ki-yay. Seems it’s a summer whisky.

In the evening we’re off to the PCMSC bash and AGM. Great barbecue ribs and chicken, along with starter and apple crumble, of course with lashing of cholesterol (Cream – looked plastic to me). Good evening although oh so noisy.

You know when the countries gone to the dogs when the bartender (she) says “would you like a straw with your whisky”. She must have thought I was some sort of alcoholic. After I said “you have to be joking”, no apparently a lot of people do – perverts.

No skiing today it’s just too busy on a normal Saturday, never mind a Presidents week one. Off classic cross country skiing with Helen – only her second time. Certainly gets the old ticker going faster than a Jack rabbit on moonshine. Good aerobic exercise. Makes me hotter than a computer trying to divide by zero. Downhill skiing is so much easier.

Meet Wendy at the coffee shop, then it’s off down to George and Helens to try and fix their TV remote, oh and also a iPhone bluetooth connection. I think the manual for the remote must have been written by a dyslexic Chinese nerd. End up having to reset it and teaching it button by button. Would have been easier for a retarded chimp to have learnt the controls than that remote. But remember “nil carbon illigitmus” and “if at first you don’t succeed swear and give up”. Helen and Wendy seem to have lost the will to live and toddle off to the supermarket. Any excuse for their weekly merchandising fix.

Finally get the basics working which is more than I can say for my encounter with the Evil Empire (Microsoft) and iPhone blue.

Lazy ski day.

In the afternoon we go to an Apres Ski party at Jeri and Robs. Wow they have an awesome collection of Indian art from pottery, to woven basket and masks.

Quiet evening as we have to stay up until midnight’ish to pick Anna and Leon up at the airport. Amazing isn’t it these airports have park and wait areas with information boards that tell you when flight is en-route or ready to pick up passengers. How neat and clever is that and then they go and spoil it all with the usual stupidity and lack of common sense. At midnight all the flights that are due to arrive that day drop off the board even if they’re still en-route or not yet ready for pickup. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Up to PCMR base with Anna and Leon. They pick up their skis and boots and then we head off and do a few runs. We meet Wendy for brown bag butties in the Legacy Lodge.

After lunch Wendy and I tootle off to the library and then walk home. I leave Anna and Leon to get some skiing in.

In the evening we’re all off down to the bowling alley with a load of friends, including Hal and Angela, for a couple of games followed by dinner at the Full House restaurant. A fun evening had by all.

Up and off skiing early as I’m leading the Leisure Ski Group. Four of us this week. We get our marching orders early and set off. Have a great morning skiing, good snow, coffee break as always. Manage to ski until 13:00. It’s pancake Day (Mardi Gras) so ski leaders get beads issued.

Wendy was volunteering at the Hospital so I go to Tipsy Tuesday – pass on the Margaritas.

In the evening we go down to the new Wholefoods (AKA Whole Pay Packet) Supermarket. Wendy’s orgasmic with excitement. No it’s not for shopping but a quiz. Can you believe have a pub quiz in a supermarket. Questions were very hard. Usual obsession with music rounds and dammed if we didn’t get the only Brit question wrong. “Queen Elizabeth is to Windsor as Henry 8th is to ????”. My answer “Hampton Court” as I immediately focused on Windsor Castle / place. Correct answer “Tudor”. We left early as we got fed up trying to decipher what the quizmaster was saying, mumbled the questions out as if he was chewing on a sticky toffee pudding. And no it wasn’t just our English ears, even our American friends struggled. There should have been bonus points just for hearing the question.

Up early and out skiing with Helen. Blue bird day and snow was pretty good. Awesome mornings skiing, gained loads of my confidence back, thanks to Helen. My skiing really seemed to come together, although still not as fast as I used to be, but who cares. Mountains are just so breathtaking.

Lazy afternoon and pick Wendy up from the Christian Centre at 16:00.

Off to the Blue Boar Inn with Bob and Marilyn for a Valentines day meal. Food, ambience, service and company was awesome. Not too expensive for the quality, would certainly go again for a special occasion. Smart move to take two of our own bottles of wine and pay the $15 corkage fee.

Yeah, 7 inches of snow overnight and it’s still coming down.

Lazy start to the day to let the snow clear, thankfully it doesn’t stop at 12:00, carries onto 17:00. We get 12″ go champagne powder in 24 hours. Good day skiing with just a few white outs at the top. Ski until 15:00 then go to the quiz.

Wendy wins the shout out at the quiz, so she gets a Helly Hensen backpack – good prize. Sadly we don’t win the quiz. That’s what you get when there’s only 4 of you in the team and as usual there’s a daunting excess of those inane music questions – whatever happened to good old quizes that used to have sensible topics like science, history, geography, literature etc.

Another awesome day here in paradise.

Lazy start to the day. Read the Times and get the depressing news from back home, makes me appreciate being here so much more. Do the crossword. Go ten pin bowling with a regular group from the Newcomers club, two games and shoes all for $6. Pop home to pick up my cross country skis. Do a 3K loop in the fresh snow dumped on us yesterday. Gorgeous sunshine; -5C; improved time by 25%; avoided any fall. Hardwork – wot no lift. Nip in the liquor store for a bottle of interesting Armagnac I’ve had my eye on and been lusting over, if it’s not up to my expectation of it Wendy can drown it in lemonade. Pop in supermarket for a free sushi sample. Wander over to Starbucks to get some more coffee – try a luscious sun dried Ethiopian Kayon Mountain Farm small lot reserve. Get a free sample of their Cafe Verona. Drive round to the Christian centre and drop the gas guzzler off for Wendy. I walk home in the fresh blue sky sunshine.

Then it’s dinner at Bob and Marilyn’s. Papa Murphy’s pizza. Made fresh in front of you and you cook at home – possibly even within my technical ability – awesome pizza and not expensive.

Blackout ski day. At least it’s on a super busy Saturday so not too bad.

We go to the Salt Lake Aquarium with Carol, Angela and Mitch. Not a bad little aquarium, 3 hours just enough for an 8 year old.

Then it’s a quiet evening in. Watch the L B Johnson biopic “All The Way”. Excellent and informative on the civil rights struggles of the 60’s. Makes you appreciate political compromise and dodgy dealing to achieve an end result.

Pick Randy up and go down to the gun range with his arsenal of weapons. .22 LR, 1911 .45 ACP and a ‘pistol’ AR15 compact platform 8″ Barrel with 300 Blackout ammunition – looks like an AR15 to my uncultured eyes. Have a great couple of hours, especially enjoy the .45 without a silencer. It makes sizeable holes on the target that you can so easily see. Quite pleased with my accuracy. Unlike last year when hitting the target was a minor miracle, with that .45 I can get some good groupings. Red dot sights on the .22 and AR15 are amazing. Especially love the grip safety on the 1911.

Think I’m getting nerdy.

Then pick Wendy up at the supermarket but alas she’s not ready so I have to adjourn to Starbucks – such a tough life.

Afternoon is an Apres ski party with PCMSC, at another one of these amazing homes around here.

14″ of snow overnight. Presidents day (bank holiday). Recipe for overcrowding. Takes the bus just under an hour, 30 minutes to do just 200 yards. End up being very un American and walking.

Slopes and lift lines are the worst I’ve seen. King Kong looks like an infection of flies slithering down, more skiers than muslims around the Kaba. My it’s cold – thankfully. Get a few runs in and a coffee. Now there’s first in that I get back to the locker after George.

Nip down to walmart for some ear defenders and targets.

In the evening Helen and George come round for dinner. What great company they are. Just never stop laughing and joking. And of course put the world of politics to right in just under 3 hours -not bad eh! Fantastic evening.

Given up on reporting the weather every day. You’ll all just have to imagine how freaky it is. I’ll let you know if there’s anything worth reporting, such as 6 foot of fresh snow.

Yeah, 3″ of snow overnight. It’s my first day to lead the leisure ski group, easy runs, no pressure and of course a stop for coffee. Have a group of 5 and we do a mixture of blues and greens. The fresh snow makes it best days skiing so far for me. Makes all the difference. Perhaps we could order 3″ every night from Amazon.

Wendy’s volunteering at the hospital, so it’s a quiet afternoon for me, get some French studying in.

Lazy evening catching up on “Peaky Blinders” what a great series, so glad we persevered.

Get out on the slopes for about 10:00 and have a leisurely morning skiing by myself. It’s still a mind game getting over my track record on breakages, so it’s quite relaxing to ski on my own along with some music. If I ski with friends then I either hold them back or I feel pressured into doing runs I’m not happy with. Think it’ll take a few weeks to get my head back together.

Walk round to the Christian centre to pick Wendy up and then we walk home in brilliant sunshine.

In the evening Hal and Carol come round for dinner. Hal’s looking good, being a ski instructor obviously agrees with him.

Lazy start to the day. Hit the slopes about 11:00 and ski through to 15:00. Can’t believe I get +9,000 feet in. Didn’t think I’d done that much.

Then it’s off to the quiz with friends. Sadly questions are very US biased – now there’s a surprise – well at least that’s our excuse. Can you believe we actually win – more hats and Starbucks cards. Pity about the beer in Legends bar, try both the Amber and the lager. You can tell how bad it is, pinckle water, I think I’ll drink tap water next week.

Busy day need a social secretary. Bowling in the morning while Wendy has her supermarket fix.

Then in the afternoon it’s shooting at the gun club with Bob and Marilyn and, wait for this, Wendy. Yes, Wendy gets her gun. Rent a .22. She does great once she’s got over the noise and the shock. I have a go with Bobs revolver, wow that’s got a kick.

Get a 30 day pass for the gun club, it’s good fun and something you can’t do in the Uk – I have to settle for my Sig Sauer P320 air pistol. No I will not be joining the NRA.

Then in the evening we’re off with Bob and Marilyn to a wine tasting with the Newcomers club down at Midway. A selection of 11 Spanish wines to try, along with punch and some great appetisers. The Spanish wines, in the $10 to 20 range, were quite pleasant, not the usual Spanish rot gut.

Took the day off skiing. Saturdays are getting too busy so won some browny points by going for a walk into town with Wendy. Then more excitement as we catch the electric bus down to Kimble junction. Pick up some targets at Walmart. Wow it’s snowing. Just great going for a walk in the snow. Bring it on. 10 foot would be great, not that I’m greedy.

Turns out we only get an inch of snow.

Bob and Marilyn come round for drinks and dinner in the evening. Melt in your mouth beef, but I notice that Wendy sneaked in vegetable and it’s not even Sunday – dodgy.

Lazy mornings skiing for me.

Then in the afternoon we go to an Apres ski party with PCMSC. Good fun, chatted with a lot of people, new and old friends. The only down side is I end up committing a grave sin of drinking, usually a full bottle of wine, before 17:00. Then of course I nod off through TV in the evening, but today I set a new record as I manage to stay awake until 23:00.

Up early and out skiing.

Then in the afternoon I’m Billy no mates as I go down to the gun range and try to puncture some cardboard. Must be getting a tad better as I get through 4 targets and a hundred rounds of 9mm. Not cheap, despite my 30 day pass, but it’s good fun and a touch of the forbidden fruit, it’s verboten in the UK. Somehow a water pistol or my Sig Sauer P320 air pistol is not quite so satisfying.

Up at the crack of sparrows and off to Manchester airport. The 40 minute drive takes 90 minutes with all the traffic, even at this time of the morning. How do people cope with this every day.

Upper class Virgin flight, courtesy of our air miles. As a result we get lounge access. Good job really as the Priority Pass lounge is full yet again. Wendy’s in luck, there’s 2 bottles of brandy in the lounge. That should be enough to wash her tablets down with. All we need now is snow.

Flight to JFK is awesome. Comfortable, with your own bed; great food; great wines, the Peach Canyon Zinfandel was the best I’ve ever tasted; great brandy – Outard; luscious vintage port; smooth single malts. This is the way to travel.

We’ve a 5 hour lay over at JFK, but fortunately get in the Virgin lounge, all very swish with awesome choice of food, drinks and cocktails – all free. Even has showers and a spa.

Arrive in Salt lake at 23:00 and can you believe it’s 51F.

Pick up my Hertz mobile should have been a medium sized. Get offered a superb choice of any car in the Presidents Circle stall. Pass on the giant 250 pickup truck – needed a step ladder to get in it – settle for a Ford Explorer 7 seater SUV. It probably drinks petrol but it’s a 4 wheel drive and we can probably sub let it over night to a family of 7.

Arrive at our home from home at about midnight – 25 hours door to door.

For my welcome to ski town, breakfast, cholesterol special of bacon, eggs, fluffy thick buttermilk pancakes drowned in maple syrup and boisson berry jam. Now I know I’m home.

Leave Wendy sorting out and configuring the home with all the things we’ve left in storage there, while I slope off for a spot of skiing. Worst year we’ve ever seen for snow, but at least on the groomers it’s not too bad. Take it easy as it’s a mind game, given my track record these past 3 years. It’s weird really. I know I can ski quite adequately, yet I need to get my head around it all and regain some come confidence.

Having a locker (share it with Helen and George) is great means I don’t have to lug my skis and boots up every day. Especially good because even though we have a car I’ll use the bus, it’s right outside our door, drops me off at the mountain and don’t have to struggle parking. Don’t think our American friends can quite understand us using the bus or worse still even walking.

Get home after lunch. Carol and Angela pop round to say hello and then I do my duty, gain some browny points, with a trip to the supermarket with Wendy.

To top the day off we both have an awesome Burrito from Chubasco’s. Now I know we’re home.

Up at the crack of sparrow and we’re in Costco for 08:50 to do our usual big shop. Back home for 11:00 in time for me to nip out and get a couple of hours skiing in.

Then we meet up with old friends (Bob, Marilyn, Helen and George) along with two new friends (Lynette and Glen) for a pub quiz in the Legacy Lounge.

Lazy start to the day.

Off down to Kimble to join the PC Newcomers for a couple of games of bowling. I’m really back on form with a score of 146, but then 2nd game is sub 100. Follow up with a Starbucks with Wendy and Helen. Then it’s back home, get changed and go cross country skiing. Try out my lavish, 2nd hand, $25 cross country skis. It must be about 4 years since I did this so have to take it easy. Takes a hour to do the 3 Km loop. The conditions are awful with ice, puddles and ski tracks that are worse than a drunks meandering. Not too good. Have to give it a few more go’s but they really need some more snow. Fortunately it’s free for us geriatrics.

In the evening Helen and George pick us up for a TGIF up at one of the luxury homes in Deer Valley. This home is awesome. How the other half live. Have a good evening with PCMSC crowd and a pleasant Zinfandel.

Set off for a mid morning ski. Lift lines are unbelievable as not only is it Saturday but the Canyons lifts are on a wind hold so they’ve all pilled up to PC. Too busy. Just do one run and abandon it. Nothing on in the evening so a quiet night in catching up on “Peaky Blinders”.

Skied in the morning.

In the afternoon we’re at a Super Bowl party at Bob and Marilyn’s. Awesome food – Mexican carnitas and some great spice. As usual didn’t fully comprehend the game but I’m gradually getting better. More adverts than posters at an islamic protest march. Amazing how there aren’t fewer injuries. Missed most of the half time show as we were eating dinner and quaffing wine.

Leisurely ski in the morning with Helen. Nice thing about skiing with Helen there is no pressure, she understands what it’s like to be a recovering broken bone skier.

Off to Bob and Marilyn’s for dinner, to finish off the leftovers from the Super Bowl party. Tasty carnitas again.

Lazy morning then we drive up to Siesta Key for a food and music festival. Parking’s a nightmare, free spaces rarer than a lap dancing bar in Tehran, so we park about a mile down the beach and walk back up the beach. As expected no American would risk life and limb walking this far.

It’s free music but food is greasy and expensive, although the paella looks enticing. We pass and just listen to the music and drink our water. My god it’s hot.

On the way home we call at Starbucks for afternoon tea and some cake to feed Wendy who is that hungry she could eat a grizzly bear fur sandwich.

Evenings just more Game of Thrones and Veep.

Decide on some culture today, set off to the Ringling museum in Sarasota. The art museums free on a Monday but we lash out and pay for the circus museum. They have an amazing miniature circus covers a massive area with amazing attention to detail. That along with circus memorabilia and some videos brings back memories of how good circuses used to be when we were kids. Sadly no more.

Then we have our exotic picnic by Sarasota bay. The gardens and grounds here are quite stunning. Oh how the rich lived.

Visit the art museum, much to Wendy’s disgust. I have to say the majority of the paintings in there are depressing. I wouldn’t even use them to wrap my chips in. There are some good photographic displays. One is particularly good on America and the War in the middle east.

In the evening we meet up with Pat and Steve, friends of Jerry and Diane, and have some drinks and an evening meal. Have a pleasant evening and it’s always good to meet up with new people, surprising the similarities between us all. Meet in an interesting sports bar, foods a tad basic and unlike most of these bars in the movies there’s no pole dancers. Now I love American junk fund, but come on fried Mac and cheese or fried Ravioli has to be the product of the mind of a degenerate chef. Try the fried Mac and Cheese, think I’ll stick with the original.

After our usual leisurely morning we have a great bike ride down the Legacy Trail. As I suspected we didn’t make it all the way to Sarasota. A whining numb bum struck after 7.5 miles, but at least that meant we did 15 miles, an improvement on last weeks 12 miles. Amazing isn’t it, I stop for a pee in the woods and within seconds the whole world turns up as two cars arrive in the most inaccessible two different places you can imagine – unbelievable. Perverts. Is there no peace, is nothing sacred anymore. With my luck it’s a wonder it wasn’t an American pipe band or the local cheer leaders out for a run.

On the way back we call in at the Daiquiri Raw Bar for some drinks. It’s happy hour so Wendy gets two Daiquiris for the price of one. She’s obviously taking this training to be an alcoholic very seriously as she asks for an extra shot of rum. The corruption of the English language continues unabated with “happy houring”.

While Wendy kindly packs I toddle off down to Siesta Key for a spot of kayaking.

Awesome morning kayaking around Siesta Key. Birds galore, including Ospreys and Herons, but best of all is a squadron of 16 pelicans coming into land on an island. They perch on trees and keep a suspicious eye on me. Alas no dolphins of manatees.

Hot and sunny as I contemplate that 48 hours from now we’ll be back in the frozen wastelands.

In the afternoon we have a stroll into town to maraud around the few shops there is. Wendy passes on a happy hour Daiquiri.

For my last supper here in Venice I get a real treat. It’s a dipped Chicago beef sandwich here at America’s equivalent of the greasy spoon cafe on steroids. Proper gourmet food, a cholesterol special. But never let it be said that I’m not into healthy eating as I only have it single dipped into mouth watering gravy, rather than the true epicureans double dipped.

The red neck bearded, toothless clientele of this place, look like they just escaped from the civil war in Georgia, seem delightful as they swill down pinkie water from heavy frozen fighting jars. I was tempted to open a discussion on the nats urine they serve over here labelled as beer, but prefer my front and back teeth the way they are.

Up and out by 09:30 for a drive back up to Orlando airport.

Apart from having to wait for the Virgin checkin to open, we’re TSA pre-checked and so it’s a pretty smooth process. Amazing, Virgin customer service score again. No indication what time check-in opens. There are staff there but can they be bothered serving. Keep everyone waiting without as much as a nod or bye your leave. Then suddenly there’s about 12 agents with nothing much to do. Does it never occur to them they could put a couple of staff on early and then add more later, plus little sign indicating what time check-in opens – wouldn’t stretch the budgets or common sense too far. Mind you the signs over the check-in desk said Emirates, that’ll confuse the punters and have them wandering around the airport looking for Virgin. Customer service as crap as ever.

Nice lounge as we’ve a long wait, but the booze helps pass the time. Sat on plane for two hours delay while they sort out paperwork and get a high tech solution like a dip stick to see how much fuel they have in their tanks! Food as appalling as ever. Thankfully my sleeping tablets and a few glasses of wine make the flight snore by. Although the woman sat next to me is a tad concerned when I nod off with a glass of red wine in my hand.

Land in Manchester about an hour late. Then it’s a cock up with the luggage as the cargo bay doors are frozen. I don’t believe it. Obviously Manchester being in the tropics this sort of thing never normally occurs.

Arrive home to snow in Belthorn.

Lazy morning as usual, getting used to our new home, it’s very comfortable and great wifi. Also chance to play with my new toy the iPhone 10. It’s awesome, fast and the facial recognition is so fast, even quicker than finger print Id. Recognises me with or without glass, hat and even if I smile, but screw my face or lips up and it fails.

Get an urgent call from our hosts warning us about the coyotes that roam around here, apparently there’s a few congregate across the road from us. Seems like it’s a well known problem in Venice. Advised not to wander the streets at night, like we did last night. Given this countries love of guns I’m gob smacked that they’ve not all been massacred.

Decide to have a stroll around the island, it’s really not that big and of course we happen to come across some shops. It’s quite interesting watching Wendy shop. To give her due she tends to ignore expensive clothes shops, doesn’t even give them a glance. But see a clothes rail with the word sale or 25%+ off and she swoops down on it like a frenzied kamikaze pilot. Whereas my shopping is a lot more focused, if I’m looking for something then I’ll go in any of the more expensive shops. Style and quality matter.

Our new home is very well equipped and a home from home but like most American homes it doesn’t have a kettle. Boil water in a pan and try to pour it into a cup or coffee filter without scalding yourself. Decide on a cheap electric kettle from Walmart. Get it home and the on off button doesn’t work properly. Never mind some string holds it down, stuff them we’ll take it back at the end of our stay.

Off down to Sarasota. Have lunch – butties – on the harbour, followed by a stroll around the harbour and then the old down. Wendy’s orgasmic as she’s seen a Wholefoods, similar to me seeing an Apple store. As a treat we go into Wholefoods.

Then we drive down to Armends Circle, a posh up market area of Sarasota. Even the 3G wifi’s better down there. Stroll around the shops and a Starbucks at the circle with some people watching.

Then I get my treat as we head off to the Apple store at the UTC Mall. Wow this Mall is awesome – see pictures. The whole shopping area is impressive. I buy a pair of AirPods, the ultimate nerds gizmo. Expensive but impressive, my Christmas present from Wendy – now we’re both sorted for Christmas. My only concern is will one drop out and me not notice. Apparently all the reviews say they’re pretty good if you’ve got the right shaped ear. If not I suppose we could always resort to superglue.

Sarasota such a lovely city but sadly there’s nothing of interest on in the theatres or concerts at this time of year.

Back to Venice and we’re going out for dinner a real treat for us poor retired folk. Go to Sharky’s at Venice pier, nice location and great for the sunset. Pity about the food. Everything just battered to death and greasy as a Brylcream butty. Disappointing. Mind you we’re not really into eating out. Have a few awesome Dark and Stormies when we get home.

Very lazy morning playing with my AirPods. They’re awesome and clever. Great for talking to Siri too.

Set off to the Oscar Scherer State Park. Supposed to have some good bird life. All very pleasant and we have a nice stroll – I manage to get my +30 minutes exercise in on my Apple watch much to Wendy’s intense annoyance – she can’t believe it, “how come you get it and I don’t”.

Have lunch overlooking the lake but alas no gators. Only see one bird, an Osprey.

No really that much there.

Call in at Publix’s and then it’s afternoon tea in the rocking chairs on the porch.

Off down to Siesta Key. I rent a kayak and toddle off kayaking around Siesta Key for a couple of hours, whilst Wendy explores the shops and rides the free trolley around Siesta Key.

Then we call in at the biggest liquor store we’ve ever seen – Total Wine. Although they’re not that cheap. Buy a miniature Woodford Reserve to try, last of the big spenders. Then Wendy explores Sprouts – it’s a Wholefoods lookalike store.

Meet up with Dennis and Nancy – past home exchangers from Sarasota. Have a great afternoon catching up with them and putting the World to rights. It’s amazing how similar our views are and hate political correctness.

Bye the way Woodford Reserve is very nice, think I’ll invest in that for home.

Usual lazy start.

Off down to Myakka State Park, one of the biggest State Parks in the USA. Have our extravagant picnic and then wander around to see the wildlife. Plenty of birds, including a bald eagle, sandhill cranes, and even Gators around, but you don’t have to worry they mainly feed at night and have only one ginormous meal a week and then spend the rest of the week digesting it. Explore the nature trail and climb the canopy tower for awesome views. Boy does it sway around.

Call in at publix for a fish medley for tea – prawns, tuna, sushi and lobster tails. Very nice, although my lobster tail seems to have shrunk to the size of a anorexic shrimp. A couple of Dark and Stormies to wash it down with.

Lazy morning. Hire a couple of bikes, great service they deliver them to our door. Two great 21 speed hybrid bikes, complete with helmets, locks and basket.

Take a tour around the island on the Venetian Waterway Park, along the Inland waterway and then the sea front. About 12 miles around the island. Most of it on a dedicated cycle path. Stop for our luxury picnic about half way round – Wendy’s bums numb. Then we stop at the fishing pier for a drink at Sharky’s. Wendy gets to sample 5 different daiquiri’s – free – how neat is that. End’s up having the pina colada. I commit a sin by drinking before 17:00. New philosophy, I’m going to try white wines when I’m out, a good way of getting to know whites without having to commit to a full bottle. First one’s a Chardonay. Have to admit I quite like it. Sheer luxury having a drink, in the sun by the sea, thinking about how cold and miserable it is back home.

A great ride in awesome weather. How lucky can you be.

Then it’s back hone for afternoon tea in rocking chairs on the porch. Kindle time and watching the World go by.

Decide we’ll have a lazy day, Wendy has to shop and tonight it’s the Christmas boat parade.

Guy comes by to collect our bikes. We ask him to deliver us some on Tuesday. A real nice guy, who apparently loves the English, didn’t mention the Welsh or the jocks, he tells us to keep them until Tuesday all for $20. Now thats a great deal.

Go to the boat parade on our bikes. It’s supposed to start by 18:00, so we have an early tea. By 19:15, still no sign of it, we’ve lost the will to live and vote with our feet. What a pity everyone didn’t do that. Teach them a lesson.

Back home for some more Game Of Thrones and a bottle of wine. I really must stop drinking a full bottle and limit myself to just half.

As usual a lazy start to the day. Then as it’s forecast rain we decide to suffer the Outlet store shopping expedition for Kurt’s top today rather than later in the week.

Then Wendy notices her new toy is no longer showing the time when she raises her wrist. Check all the settings, but alas it’s still kaput. Oh well better pop down to the Mall and return it whilst we’re up here. 9 miles later we’re back at the Apple store. A very relaxed and laid back Apple guy tries, checks the settings and it still doesn’t work. He’s just about to replace the watch as faulty when he remembers Theatre Mode, which turns off the screen on wrist rise. Yes, sure enough Wendy must have caught the setting for this. Take it out of Theatre Mode and all is ok.

And the moral of that story is go check on the Internet before wasting time and petrol.

The evening’s spent with a few “Dark and Stormies” and more sex and nudity scenes from the Game of Thrones.

Lazy morning as usual and then we drive up to Wekiva Springs for a picnic and walk.

I thought so, we’ve been here before, back in 2010. It’s all very picturesque and the water is tempting for a swim – 72F apparently – but I give it a miss. Don’t see any gators in there. After lunch we go for a walk but it’s so boring and lifeless we head back after a mile. At last the Circle B Bar is teaming with life.

For a bit of variety we avoid the toll road on the way back and spot the Oakland Nature Reserve. Looks interesting so perhaps we’ll save that for another day.

Lazy morning and it’s raining on and off. By 14:00 it seems to have stopped and we’re chomping at the bit to go somewhere.

I have a plan. We drive down to Celebration; order one of those awesome looking stromboli’s; go for a power walk around the lake – gets the Exercise level up on our watches; have a leisurely starbucks sat in the rocking chairs, watching the lake go by; pick up my Stromboli; and go home. What an exciting life we lead.

The Stromboli is massive, packed with meat, pepperoni and cheese, with a great crust. Awesome. It’s an alcohol free night. Watch Game Of Thrones, can you believe there’s a whole episode with no nudity and sex. What is the World coming to, perhaps it’s time to give it up. We’ll soldier on and said we’ll endure the first season before making a final decision. Have to say it’s very good overall and you soon manage to put the crappy dungeons and dragons aspect of it behind you.

Lazy morning then off to Oakland Nature Reserve for a walk and hoping to see some wildlife. This is a lovely free nature reserve, but sadly hurricane Irma has destroyed part of the boardwalk down to the lake so we can’t do that. Have lunch on the deck their in some lovely old rocking chairs, all very pleasant. Feel like the Clampits. Don’t really get to see much wildlife apart from a randy Gopher Tortoise whose head starts bobbing up and down in a horny courtship display. Then a female arrives on the scene and before you know it he’s trying to mount her – who says you need to watch Game Of Thrones for exciting sex scenes. Sadly the females got a headache and kicks sand in his face.

Because gopher tortoises share their burrows with more than 350 other species they are referred to as a keystone species. The presence of gopher tortoises indicates whether a habitat is suitable not only for tortoises but other species, as well. Some of the species known to share their burrows include the Florida mouse, burrowing owl, gopher frog, and eastern indigo snake. As the primary burrow-builder in its ecosystem, the gopher tortoise is very important to maintaining the structure, composition and populations within an ecological community. Similar to the role of a keystone in an arch, an ecosystem may experience a dramatic shift if a keystone species is removed. Conversely, an increase in the number of tortoises is evidence of sufficient food and shelter for reproduction, and when the tortoises are thriving, so are many other species.

We then call in at Lake Louisa State Park and have a leisurely stroll down to the lake. Alas very little wildlife apart from a Gopher Tortoise crossing the road.

Call in at Public’s for some Turkey for our Thanksgiving Dinner tomorrow. We’re not bothering going out for dinner as usual, all the Disney places are booked up and the Marriotts – who usually do a great buffet – are just too far away. Plus we’re getting tight in our old age and somewhat begrudge $150 on an all you can eat buffet that only encourages you to eat more than you need – bloody hell if we carry on like this we’ll end up as some tree hugging, liberal, PC, Bed Wetter.

In the evening it’s more Game Of Thrones. We’ve survived season 1 and really enjoyed it – the sex scenes certainly help, but the intrigue and plotting makes for a great story line – so will be watching the rest of it.

Thanksgiving Day here in the USA. Just another excuse to stuff yourselves with turkey and pie. A day when people are supposed to reflect on what they are thankful for. The most common answers seems to “Living in the greatest country in the World”. You have to give it to them for confidence and patriotism. Unlike us Brits who openly talk our country down and it’s almost considered racist to fly the Union Jack.

Lazy morning and then we set off to the Polynesian resort resort for a walk around the Disney World lagoon. The walk from the Polynesian to the Floridian is reckoned to be very picturesque. We’re told it’s a 37 minutes walk – very precise. Turns out more like 12 minutes, but there again Americans don’t walk a lot. We then enquire about walking to the Magic Kingdom. Alas we’re told we’ll get eaten by fast racing gators. There’s a nice path most of the way but we’d probably have to swim across a gator infested canal.

Never mind it’s plan B. It’s time for my treat, mono-rail to transit centre, then round trip ride on mono-rail to Epcot. It’s the nerd in me just loves riding the mono-rail, I’ll be mono-rail spotting next. Then we walk to the Polynesian.

In the evening we have our turkey dinner and an expensive bottle of Lahor Merlot from Paso Robles – one of my favourites, yes all of $12, exceeds my $10 limit. Dam me no, Wendy likes this wine and has a glass. This is not conducive to marital harmony, have to get back to the cheaper wines, which she usually turns her nose up at.

Black Friday – in the land of the mighty dollar when muppets trample other muppets for cheap goods mere hours after supposedly being “Thankful” for what they already have.

We decide to have a lazy day hunkered down whilst we pack. Avoid the chaos out there.

Joy of joys, it appears that the Apple store in Tampa has some iPhone X for store pickup and it just so happens we’re driving past Tampa for tomorrow morning. As my Mother would have said “you were meant to have it” – I don’t think she ever realised she was a dedicated Stoic. Order it for a 08:30 pickup today, knowing full well it will be tomorrow, but “computer doesn’t allow that…”. Actually turns out that the store will keep it for 21 days – unbelievable. With the excitement will I be able to sleep tonight?

Up, car loaded and out by 09:15. Apple store Tampa bound. Oh the excitement. Yes and there it is my new toy. As I want to ensure it’s unlocked and works with my 3 SIM I let them set it up and being the professional nerd test to make sure I can call and connect with mobile roaming. Yeah, it all works as promised. Lash out on a new case because surprise, surprise the old case doesn’t fit – Wendy buys it me for my Birthday.

Then it’s onwards down to Venice, that’s the one in Florida, in case anyones confused. Don’t want anyone asking how long it took to drive all the way to Italy – yes I know it sounds far fetched but we have been asked these ridiculous question before, several times, by geography masterminds, sadly always Americans!

Our new home exchange for the next 12 days. The homes lovely, spacious and comfortable. So much more homely and personable than your average VRBO. Talking of which I have to say the VRBO we’ve just spent 3 weeks in was awesome. They’d thought of absolutely everything; fantastic manual; everything you needed was there, including cots, high chair and even pushchairs; good location; clean and immaculate; everything in good condition; great themed bedrooms for the kids; nice pool; even installed a smart DNS and ROKU box to give access to UK TV. A real home from home. I would highly recommend it to anyone. Worth every penny. I really struggled to find anything to say “I don’t believe it”. The best I could come up with is the WIFI password was tortuous.

Venice is mostly on an island. It looks a lovely quaint old retirement community. Almost makes Lytham look like a Kindergarten.

Meet our hosts Judith and Joe who have kindly stayed to greet us and show us around the house before they set off. Always nice to meet your hosts, it’s a luxury we rarely have as we do few simultaneous exchanges.

There’s a Christmas parade this evening so it’s a quick dash to the supermarket, weaving our way around cordoned off streets.

Then we walk down the street to watch the Christmas light parade, all 2 hours of it. Sensible people have bought their “Deer Valley concert chairs” with them. After an hour Wendy’s whimpering about standing for so long. After 2 hours we head for home, the parades nearly finished. It’s bit like “Trick or Treat” on steroids as the kids just sit there – no exercise to burn off those sweetie calories – and the sweets are just handed to them. Best of all is the old geezer sat in front of us. Chomping away on his swag bag of sweets. He accosts everyone handing out sweets with his swag bag, a plastic carrier bag already brimming with goodies, that he thrust into their face of for his fair share of the booty. Any minute now I think he’s going to push the kid aside in a race to grab the spoils that fall on the road, fortunately he resists the temptation. A child at heart and judging by his proud stand to attention, with hat off and hand over heart when the flag passes I guess he may be a veteran and deserves them all.

Then this plonker drops his brand new iPhone. I don’t believe it. I’ve never drop my sacred device before. Thankfully we bought the case this morning so it helps it survive – no damage.

Lazy morning and then we’re off to Animal Kingdom. Our last Disney ticket day so we might as well try and see the Rivers Of Light parade.

First stop a relaxing coffee at Starbucks, one of the few places where you don’t need a FastPass. Today’s record in Animal Kingdom is 175 minutes to go on the only ride we really wanted to do – Pandora. To quote my hero “I don’t believe it”. What’s more I don’t believe anyone is stupid enough to queue that long for a 5 minute ride.

Have a pleasant dinner of macaroni cheese and pulled pork. Will have to add this to our regular menus back home – see recipes.

Rivers of light:

Lazy do nothing day. Time to breathe and relax by the pool. It’s oh so quiet now they’ve all gone home.

We’re off to the circle B bar reserve. Can you believe it’s free. No Disney marketing; no Disney animatronics or 3D; no queues; no rip off; no parking rip off fee; no extortionate entrance fee; no crowds or screaming rug rats; no need for a fast pass or a 170 minute wait to see the best that nature has to offer. Just the bipedal lesser spotted, camera and binoculars toting sweaty bird watchers, swinging their long telephoto, phallic extensions around, like some rampant teenager. Nature in all its glory with birds galore, bald eagle, herons, snakes and alligators. What more can you wish for.

Then it’s over to Disney Celebration for a relaxing Starbucks by the lake. This place really is like something out of the stepford wives. Having a relaxing Starbucks by the lake watching them decorate the Christmas tree. Yes, we know it’s only November, perhaps someone will inform the greedy gnomes on the 96th floor of the Disney marketing tower.

It’s like a California beach on steroids full of fashion obsessed yuppies strutting their stuff like peacocks on heat; with mobiles glued to their ear just in case the President should ring them; drink in hand to keep them hydrated; and the sickly grin of a smarmy, politically correct liberal. I add to the ambience by shuffling around with my Starbucks cup in hand like a true yank.

Lazy morning and then after lunch we’re off to Disney Springs, formerly Downtown Disney. Wow they’ve expanded it into a upmarket shopping area.

Another Starbucks moment down at Disney Springs while Wendy gets her retail therapy in the ginormous Disney store. Hopefully she can resist the picturesque Disney gift cards this time – subtle dig. Treat her to a new Tinkerbell necklace and ear rings for her birthday present. You can never have too many Tinkerbell necklaces.

Lazy morning trying to get synchronisation to work consistently using iCloud, Notes and iPhotos. I’m sure Apple’s caught the Microsoft virus of sloppy software.

Then we’re off down to the Boardwalk for lunch, well at least for Wendy. Try to book a meal for Thanksgiving no chance, you’d think they were “giving” it away. Have a pleasant stroll around and then set off for some excitement at the Florida Mall.

Wendy’s finally made her mind up about the Apple Watch, so I treat her to one in Rose Gold, for Christmas. She’s getting to be a real nerd these days.

Off to Winter park for a 2 hour kayak trip. Wendy has a few hours to herself perusing the shops and having lunch with all the rich bitches. Ideal day for kayaking around the lakes and canals of Winter Park. Don’t get to see much wildlife though, apart from the lesser spotted spoilt rich bipeds bobbing in and out of their lake front mega mansions.

After kayaking we get to see this awesome hawk just hanging out in the car park. Then we have a stroll back into Winter Park for a relaxing Starbucks. Everything this week is so laid back and relaxing.

Traffic on I4 is horrendous so we come back on a toll road. It’s just as bad. A one hour journey takes 2 hours. Quite interesting whiling away the time in a traffic jam with music; watching a women pluck her eyebrows; watch a hum dinger of a row, they’ll be in a divorce court tomorrow; and if all else fail, pick your nose.

Wow just a lazy, relaxing, stay by the pool sort of day. You almost feel guilty for doing nothing but just enjoying the sun. Funny we never feel guilty doing nothing at home, amazing what a bit of sun can do.

Wendy has some excitement with her weekly shop.

More Game Of Thrones in the evening. Puppies complete with chapel hat pegs, nudity and sex every 10 minutes to keep your attention. No wonder it’s so popular. It’s also a tad blood thirsty. Despite the sex scenes I seem to be warming to it, even though Knights, dungeons and dragons is not really my scene. But there is a way of avoiding 80+ hours of viewing and get the sex scene essence of Game Of Thrones in just 16 minutes. Yes, Huffington Post have kindly produced the Perverts Guide To Game Of Thrones, a 16 minute compilation of all the sex scenes and nudity – click here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/17/game-of-thrones-sex-scene_n_1601883.html.

After our weeks Disney cruise we now have a week left of Disney park tickets. Oh joy more fun.

Up early and out to the Magic Kingdom. Big mistake choosing this park today. There was a 06:00 marathon and they’re filming their Disney advert. The place is rammed. 140 minutes is the record wait time. Just an indication of the greed, money for old rope. How can they fail to make money?

At least we have some Fast passes so get on the best rides apart from the Seven Dwarfs. Starbucks are just beyond hope, more customers than Muslims around the Kaba at Ramadan. Stuff them. Good day despite the crowds and managed to do some of the older rides and the train, still great rides for younger kids. Thankfully we missed It’s A Small World. At least we were not too late leaving – learning some common sense.

Decide last minute to go to the Florida Mall – Fiona’s treat and all time favourite theme park.

Take a guess as to which store in the whole of the Florida Mall is rammed full to the gunnels? Well it’s not Victorias secrets or Bose. Yes, it’s the nerds store, Apple. The Microsoft store is next door, probably hoping for some passing trade to rub off. No chance. It’s empty.

Then it’s Hollywood studios again today. Catch most of the good rides with Fast pass, including Toy story which is as good, if not better than, Buzz Light Year. Jasper goes on Tower Of Terror but does not enjoy it and is frightened.

We were thinking of staying for Fantasmic but chicken out. It’s just too late for the kids, never mind the adults. Have tea back at home, fortunately I have my Spicy Italian Subway, with an excess of jalapeños, so tomorrow no doubt my arse will be on fire.

Hal,Carol and Angela arrive to stay with us for a few days.

Jasper and Angela enjoy the pool with Kurt.

Lazy morning then we’re off to Epcot for the afternoon. My god it’s hotter than the hinges of hell and sweatier than a Water Hoggs backside.

I do yet another dive with Disney Quest in their giant Aquarium. Great dive, just 25 feet deep, warm with plenty of pretty fish and fake coral – can you believe it Disney use the fake stuff. My sort of dive these days and helps me keep my hand in at diving. As usual my ears feel like they’re going to implode and no doubt I’ll be deaf for a week. Some amazing sharks, complete with mangy teeth; colourful sting rays; giant turtles, two of which start kissing one another just in front of me – fortunately they remember it’s Disney and resist having it off. Get to do a high five with Jasper who cutely blows me kisses through the glass wall.

Then in the evening we have a makeshift meal, on the pavement, whilst waiting for the firework and light display. Very impressive, the display that is, as always.

A late night but fortunately traffic clears quickly. If this was in the UK it’d take at least a day to clear those crowd, people would die of old age in the process

Drop Kurt and Fiona off at Disney Springs, formerly Downtown Disney, no doubt some bright spark on the 94th floor of the Disney marketing building thought it would be a wonderful idea to change the name. It almost certainly cost a fortune, I doubt it has had a measured or measurable benefit, and I doubt whether the dickhead responsible has been given a brown envelope and escorted off the premises.

Wendy and I get to take Jasper to Epcot for the morning. As usual his behaviour is impeccable and we have a great morning together doing some of the less popular activities at Epcot. Including a light lab where he gets to mix colours and gets to learn that red, green and blue, the additive primary colours, makes white.

Amazing 3D animation from Disney and Pixar. Mind blowing. That good I even watched it twice.

Kurt and Fiona meet up with us for lunch.

So hot again. We start to have a wander around the Lands but give up as it’s just too hot.

Set off back home so Wendy and Fiona can go to Walmart – you’d have thought they’d have put their slippers and pyjamas on to fit in with the clientele and for such an auspicious outing. Kurt and I are left looking after the kids. Jasper and I have a whale of a time in the pool.

In the evening we have some wine and Dark and Stormy cocktails.

Fiona’s off to her theme park today with a trip to the Outlet Stores. No trip to America would be worthwhile without such a 3 hour retail therapy session. It’s Starbucks for me.

Then sadly we drop them off at the airport, complete with more luggage than a travelling circus act. Say our good byes. We’ve had an awesome time with our kids and grandkids, we’ll miss them and will be rattling around in our awesome 4 bedroomed Orlando home for the next 16 days.

Well it’s been an awesome holiday with kids and grand kids. Love them all but driving with a screaming grandkids can fray your nerves to shreds. Best holiday ever.

In the evening we have a lazy, booze free evening, and catch up on Blue Planet and the Gunpowder series.

Hal and co depart for Charlestone. So now it’s just the two of us, peace, quiet and tranquility. Time to catch up on three weeks worth of blogs, get some reading in, sort through thousands of photos and whittle them down to manageable numbers ready for a holiday album and hopefully get some reading in.

We’ve still got 3 days of Disney Park passes left so after a lazy day, we set off for the Magic Kingdom Fireworks. Arrive about 17:50, wow it’s really busy. Car park attendant asks us if we’re here for the party. “No, what party?” Park close at 18:00, no fireworks, it’s party night and yes you guessed it, it’s extra admission fee. Turn round and go home. Teach me a valuable lesson – knowledge is not just power but essential – in future check the calendar.

Never mind finish off watching Gunpowder, some TV all washed down with a very tasty Merlot.

Lazy morning and then in the afternoon we set off for the Magic Kingdom again. Too busy to get on any ride. Not queueing 60 minutes.

Have evening dinner at the Grand Floridian, all very elegant and civilised. Then back to the park for the laser, light and fireworks. It’s an hour before they’re due to start yet everywhere is already rammed.

We stand, sit and wait for 50 minutes. Can’t believe it. But have to admit it was spectacular, almost worth it. After this every firework display is going to seem insipid.

Happily Ever After media, laser and firework display:

Then this was followed by Once Upon A Time laser show at Magic Kingdom:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iz1UgPFLRJc