Tony & Wendy's Travel Blog

Went for a walk with B&M to the Huber farm out at Wasatch state park. Took the snowy path there, not enough to snowshoe, and then back along the road. A gorgeous day and a great stroll

I called in at the Outdoor store to get some 9mm ammunition. It was on sale but limited to only 3 packets per person. Wendy swallowed her scruples and helped out by buying 3. Bumped into Leon from NAC archery, he’s going to set up an archery day.

Then we call at the Wasatch Dellie for lunch. Have Heber special which is a Hoggie roll with sliced beef and a french gravy dip to dip it in – awesome, similar to a Chicago beef sandwich.

Then it’s a trip to Jans, the start of their sale. Wendy buys a nice coat with 40% off, Bob buys some new skis and Marilyn splashes out on ski jackets. I get bullets.

A lazy evening watching “Tyrant” on Amazon Prime. It’s a great series. Just binge-watching.

Time for a family decision on do we stay until our normal return date or do we try and leave next week. Well our flights not been cancelled. Supermarkets at home look dire, whilst here things aren’t so bad. We have hardly any food in at home. More to do here and weather is better. Seems less risk here. More friends here. Only risk is we get stranded here. Decided we’ll stay until April 16th as originally planned.

Go for a walk around Willow Creek with George and Helen. That seems all there is left to do with this isolation advice.

Afternoon and I’m doing yoga again. Really want to get into it on a regular basis and this PPP lockdown could be an ideal opportunity. Who knows it could be I try and improve my French next.

In the evening we go to B&M for dinner. Great Beef stew.

Then it’s back home for more of the “Tyrant”. Thankfully turns out there are 3 seasons in all.

What the hell is an IPAWS alert. At 08:30 just an Amber alert received on our mobiles and no mention as to why. Are we meant to guess what the problem is? Is it some sort of guessing game? God only knows and he won’t split. Bizarre, only in America.

Mind you Wendy is convinced the bathroom was shaking this morning and it was too early for her to have been on the brandy.

Apparently, it was an earthquake. A 5.7 magnitude quake down in Salt Lake.

Losing the will to live and now it’s snowing. Off up to the gun club to vent my spleen on some paper targets. The Walther PPX is great. Even better without the laser sight on, how bizarre is that. And wow that new ammo has a real kick.

OMG just got a text telling me all the liquor stores are closed. How will I cope? Turns out it’s due to the earthquake. Perhaps they should follow the lead of the supermarket and have the first two hours for geriatrics etc.

Fix some PHP software for the sports club, some mental stimulation at least. After lunch we’re off for a stroll up to the White Barn, just 2 miles.

Sadly a no alcohol day so more of the “Tyrant” in the evening.

Lazy morning.

After lunch, we take a stroll up the Rail Trail into Park City. It’s all deserted, mind you it’s snowing.

Then it’s the liour store to get stocked up in case they decide to close because of PPP.

Another night in binge watching the “Tyrant”. At least I can have a drink, badly needed, to cope with all this PPP madness.

Off shooting with MikeB and a Walther PPX that MikeT has kindly lent me. My new favourite gun. It’s amazingly accurate and surprisingly even more accurate without the laser site. Really impressed so much so that I’ve had to move the target out to 40 to make it more interesting. Tried a couple of MikeB’s guns. Great morning.

Hal came round after lunch and we went a stroll around the neighborhood.

Then off to see Shaun at Hertz to get my car upgraded to a 7 seater SUV – Ford Explorer XLT, very nice. Sadly though I won’t need it if our kids come out, it always feels better to have plenty of good old American steal around you. Especially when negotiating roundabouts. Shaun does an amazing job at Hertz and always looks after us well.

B&M and M&J come round for dinner. Good food (homemade chicken pot pie), good wine and great company.

Devastating news, Pickleball has been cancelled for March due to the PPP (Pandemic, Pandemonium And Panic). How will I cope. Let’s hope the gun club stays open and we’re still allowed to go for a walk. The sports club has canecelled all TGIF’s and Apre-ski events. Wendy’s told the Christian centre she will not be volunteering for the rest of the month – don’t blame her, she’s a volunteer, why be front line dealing the public.

Whilst PPP buying has hit the supermarkets and the shelves are bare of toilet rolls, hand sanitisers and a lot of staples like rice and pasta, at least the liquor store has plenty of supplies (Zen of Zin on special at $8.99 is a real plus, I think I’ll panic buy that) so at least we can always get our calorific intake from alcohol. So far there’s been no mention of possible benefits of drinking plenty of alcohol to combat the virus. You’d think if it works on the hands it would work on the body, but perhaps we have to gargle with it and rinse our sinuses.

Well it seems the only exercise left is to go for a walk, so I trudge through the snow up (up being the operative word – this is so much harder than Pickleball) to the Market and Liquor store to meet Wendy. It starts snowing so halfway there so it looks like I’ll chicken out of walking back down.

Hal, Carol and Angela come round for dinner in the evening.

Ughh a no alcohol day.

A lazy morning for us both and then Wendy tootles off to see a sawbones about her back / pile / bum. As she drives into the surgery car park a nurse come out in gown and mask to carry out some basic triage. Asks Wendy what the problem is and then consults with the doctor. Wendy’s given a mask, told to wash her hands and invited into the non-covid-19 side of the waiting room. Seen within minutes and after a somewhat embarrassing examination is told how to deal with it. Doctor can’t understand why this wasn’t dealt with in the UK and why she was told to come back in 3 months if no better. Over here most problems are dealt with promptly with a battery of expensive test and medication. Suffering kept to a minimum. Total cost of her visit $116.

Helen and George pop round with an anorak for Jasper and we have a good old chin wag, George and I put the world to rights

Then we toddle off up to the PCMR base for some coffee from Campos. Has to be the Worlds best coffee, just a pity their customer service skills and attitude are so bad, I’d rather lick piss off a nettle than shop there.

Finally, it’s a trip to Chubascos for my long-awaited – four weeks and I’m only just having one – smothered Californian Burrito along with a selection of the hottest salasa they do. Proper haute cuisine. Awesome. Chimichanga next time.

Evening in watching TV and admiring the drinks on my drink shelf, but being strong and resisting. Let’s hope I get some feeling back in my tongue after all that salsa.

Lazy start to the day.

I set off to walk upto Fresh Market and meet Wendy there. The only problem is I take the car keys with me so I have to walk back down. The good news is I get my 4 miles in, most of it on snow so it’s a real workout.

Supermarkets not too busy but of course there are the scrots panic buying. My suggestion is simple’s, each cashier to be given a loud bell she can ring, to draw everyone’s attention to the anti-social panic buying scrot and the manager then comes and refuses to sell them anything and escort them off the premises. Nothing like a good overdose of peer pressure and common sense.

Lazy afternoon in. Who knows if it carries on at this rate I think I’ll be brushing up on my French.

Start Yoga, a DVD version. Could this PPP be an ideal opportunity to finally get into it? Will I keep it up this time?

B&M come round for tea – edamame, sushi and warm sake. Oh and ice cream for Bob.

Lazy morning. Leisurely stroll. Then dinner in the evening at B&M with M&J. Great meatloaf – another one off my food bucket list – great wine and best of all great company.

Lazy morning for me followed by pickleball all afternoon. Wendy toddles off to the wig trimmers. Her hair looks nice, theyve done a good job.

In the afternoon, while I’m working hard at Pickleball, Wendy does the weekly shop and I pick her up.

Quiet evening in, sadly no alcohol.

Lazy morning followed by a pickleball lesson. One of the coaches has a somewhat bizzare habit of reaching under her short tennis dress and producing a pickleball. They’re usually quiet warm, the mind boggles as to where she stores them under there. Do I learn much? Not really and there’s this constant refrain of be nice. One exercise is like seven “nice” dinks and then go for it. Try playing pickleball whilst using and Abbacus!

Meet Wendy and we toddle off to Home Depot to buy a deadbolt lock for the cupboard in the gargae of our summer rental. The landlord has agreed we can store “stuff” in the cupboard when we leave in April and keep it there until our Autumn stay. All we have to do is fit a doorknob/lock.

Well, this really shouldn’t be a problem as we buy a new vesion of the one already installed – landlords lost the key. But just typical, what should take 5 minutes takes 45 minutes. Try fiddling to get screws into blind holes and then discover one of the screw threads needs to rebore. Who are these so-called designers who couldn’t design their way out of a used condom? They obviously never bother trying their creations as they would soon learn how impractical they are. Stupid is as stupid does. My Cocker Spaniel could have done a better job. The designer should be sacked.

In the evening we’re off round to Jere and Diane’s for dinner with Steve and Barbara. After my experiences trying to fit a lock I so need a drink. More bourbon tasting experiences, very mellow, very expensive. If only I could remember the name of it.

Off to the Newcomers coffee morning to pay our overdue dues. Coffee with Mike then drop Wendy off at the CC. Nip up to Mikes to borrow one of his many guns – get the Walther PPX with laser sight. He tries to get me to borrow one of his AR15’s but I pass. Not really that keen on rifle shooting, nor that familiar with the AR15, so would rather shoot it when he’s around. Certainly have no desire to shoot one of them on automatic. You encounter them at the gun club, must have more money than sense – they can bankrup you in seconds.

Wendy’s a tad nervous about a gun in the house and I’m ultra cautious. I’m sure no gun toting NRA member will be able to cope with my gun in the home strategy. Gun, empty of course, and with no clip is stored in the highest cupboard in the house. Even I struggle to reach it. Clip, empty of course, is stored in my bedside drawer. Ammunition is stored high up in a separate cupboard.

Well, now I’m set up for shooting.

In the afternoon I play yet more Pickleball.

A quiet evening in, yet another no alcohol day.

Well, I was planning and looking forward to my first Mexican Burrito or Chimichanga from Chubascos, but the CC has a surfeit of cooked chickens so we opt for a free one of them with baked beans. Sadly it looks like the chickens still nearly alive, all pink and bloody in places, so Wendy declares it a health hazard. Never mind I’ll have to nip up to Chubascos for my well deserved Mexican. Ah but the baked beans are on so they’d be wasted. Opt for a good old cowboy staple of steak and beans. First World problems. Never mind Mexican on Saturday.

Wendy at CC all day. Lazy morning and pickleball in the afternoon for me.

Our only free night this week. Catch up on TV. Alcohol-free night.

Gun club with Mike. He brings part of his arsenal with him. Finally get to fire a .44 magnum (Dirty Harry’s “Make my day punk” gun). Has a kick like a randy mule. Quite impressed how accurate I am with it but not really the sort of gun anyone would carry. Then try a .38 Special, used by the police, has a kick but not as accurate. Then it’s a Walther PPX 9mm with a laser sight. Wow it’s just lovely to shoot and very flattering accuracy. Finally a Glock automatic with laser sight, it’s OK. But the Walther PPX is my gun of choice from now on, goodbye to the Wilson Combat.

A great morning’s shooting.

In the afternoon Wendy and I went a walk with Bob and Marilyn down the snow-packed rail trail. Glorious blue sky, sunshine and warmer than a spring day. Then we drive up to the PCMR base for a Campos coffee. Their Supreme espresso is so sweet, absolutely awesome. Wendy gets some crap serviced from someone with a face like a slapped arse and a real attitude problem. If only she could smile.

In the evening B & M come round for dinner.

Lazy morning.

I go for a walk down the snow-packed Macloud trail with Sylvia. Wendy takes the car and heads off to the CC.

After lunch, I walk up to the CC on the snow-packed trail. It is 3.5 miles and I’m Powfagged by the time I get there. More exhausting than playing pickleball.

Friday night we’re off to the Grubsteak Restaraunt with B&M and Mike and Janelle. One of the best steaks I’ve ever had, a tad expensive, but a glass of red wine was so exorbitant, I settle for a pilsner.

Off Skeet shooting with Mike – 37 dead or severly injured (clay pigeons). Fortunately part of his arsenal comprises a few shotguns. Have 3 rounds of 25. Clays come out at random which is the nightmare. Quite pleased that I didn’t do too badly. Fortunately got some good tips from the guys there. It’s run by the Lions every Saturday, just $5 for a round of 25 from 5 different gun stations. Great fun.

In the afternoon go for a stroll around the canyons and walk back down (downhill).

Then it’s a night in catching up on TV, a drop of wine, we pass on “Little Women” at the library theatre.

Bit of a grey day, it’s getting ready for a snow storm tomorrow. Snowshoe and walk with Bob and Marilyn.

Then Wendy goes shopping with Marily at Smiths so that means I’m excused, hallelujah. But I take a walk down to Kimble junction. Not a good day to shop, too busy, so best avoid Saturdays in future. It’s not as if we are so busy that we can only go oat the weekend.

In the evening it’s round to B&M’s for sloppy joe slidders, another American delicacy I can cross off my bucket list. Love them, my sort of food, especially with cheese, onions and cowboy candy. Really need to add these to our UK menus.

Then catch up on more “Hunters” when we get home.

Lazy day, hunkered down as we have light snow all day. By md-afternoon I’m getting restless so set of for a walk in all that new snow while it’s still snowing. Hard going without snowshoes or yak tracks but just love it. Not many people out and about.

It’s a no-alcohol day and yet I still nod off during “Hunters”.

Lazy morning and then pickleball in the afternoon.

In the evening we’re off to dinner with Sylvia and David at Squatters. Good wine and not too expensive but the Reubens was a tad disappointing. Have a great evening catching up with them.

Really lazy morning. Then I’ve another pickleball lesson. Not so sure they’re really doing me any good. All about dinking. You sure get a sweat on doing it. It’s as crazy as ever. we’re supposed to dink 6 shots and then volley if possible. Seems good to me, except that they don’t really want you to volley, you have to be nice. What is the point you play the volley to win, what the hell am I learning by being told not to volley too hard. It’s instinctive and if you don’t like receiving a hard and fast volley, then don’t play pickleball.

Carol and Angela come round to pick up Angela’s birthday present, she’s eleven, how time flies we’ve known her since she was one.

Mike and Betti come round for dinner.

Lazy morning with The Times, very depressing, and The Wall Street Journal, much more enjoyable as the sheninaigans over here don’t really worry me, then off for a two hour pickleball lesson. Training leaves a lot to be desired as they’ve got greedy and have more attendess than there are court places so they introduce all sorts of complex and crazy schemes to cope. Spend more time understanding the next hair brained scheme to cope with overload than to concentrate on the training point. Most of us are as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

Wendy has a stroll down to Kimble and picks me up at pickleball. Then it’s off to Whole Pay Packet for some shopping. Customer services tell us that we can’t use our UK Amazon Prime for discounts, but as you can imagine I try it and lo and behold a miracle has occured and it works. Typical useless customer services. Don’t really know the answer; don’t want to admit they don’t know; don’t want to find out so fob you off.

Laurrie and Mike come round for dinner. Laurrie brings a plate of chocolate chip cookies, lovely and soft, just how they should be. Steak and Kidney pie followed by English pancakes with apple and cinnamon – it is pancake day after all. Have a fun evening and some bonny wine.

Another lazy start. Wendy off to the Christian Centre for the day and I’m planning on pickleball for the aftrnoon. Then I get a call from Carol, Hal’s been taken to the ER so I look after Angela for the afternoon while Carol deals with Hal.

Angelas doing the declaration of independence at school so we have an interesting afternoon discussing that and then start to watch the film of the musical 1776. Angela stays for tea, well dinner as she calls it.

Hal’s stopping in hospital overnight for further tests.

Then it’s an alcohol free evening and we start watching the new series “The Hunters” on Prime. Looks like it will be good.

Off down to the gun club with Mike.

Then back home for a 2.5-mile stroll in the snow with Wendy. It’s another gorgeous day here in paradise. Followed by a quick shower and change and off to a snowshoe party at Laurrie and Mikes. Just another normal fun-filled day here in paradise.

Lazy morning.

Pickleball afternoon for me and christian centre for Wendy.

In the evening Bob and Marilyn pick us up to go to sports club bash – AGM, drinks, dinner and dancing (pass). Good company but not all that impressed. I think for $40 each we’ll give it a miss next year.

Off snowshoeing, gorgeous blue sky day but cold. What can you expect.

Then after lunch, it’s pickleball for me and Christian centre for Wendy.

The evening includes some wine and my new Whiskey – Legacy – wow it’s under $20, has a score of 86 points, and is so very mellow.

Wendy and I try the various country’s nationality tests. Here are the results:

USA We both pass and could become US citizens

Australia We both pass and could become Australian citizens

UK Only I pass, Wendy fails and would not be eligible for UK citizenship. Mind you when you look at the bizarre questions you do start to wonder about their relevance.

Wendy and I go for a walk around Willow Creek, she walks on the hardpack and I snowshoe in the deep snow. Well it may only be two miles but I’m exhausted. One of those very rare occaisions when Wendy walks faster than me. I did this yesterday and wasn’t anywhere near as exhausted as I am today.

Drive down to Salt Lake for our Costco trip. Pick up from R&R some ribs for me and brisket for Wendy’s tea. They’re amazing, I can’t finish all mine.

We should have been going to a basket ball game with Mike and Laurrie but it was a sellout. Instread we settle for some TV. Sadly it’s a no alcohol day.

Had a walk down to Kimble Junction, all of the 3 miles on the hardpacked farm trail.

In the evening we live like locals with a night out at the library cinema to watch “just mercy”. Just $7 and bring your own bowl for popcorn. Every shape and type of bowl you can imagine, but we are not that local. Alas no wine on sale tonight. Perhaps it’s because it’s Sunday. Strange these Mormon ways. There advice is to smuggle your own in. I’m sure there’ll be some sort of religious commandments against this enshrined in those gold plates. 

What a cracking good film. A modern day “Kill a Mocking Bird”. Is Alabama still like that?

Best of all about going to the pictures in America is the crazy clapping during and at the end. Bizarre. They can’t hear you. Like the true snow flakes who dreamed it up have they never heard of jazz hands. So much more politically correct and so less offensive to those with hearing problems or are stressed out by clapping.

On the positive side at least they don’t stand up. Next time we go I’m going to sit on the front row, at the end I’m going to stand up to see how many lemmings follow suit.

A somewhat cold grey day. Catch the bus up to fresh market and the bank and then walk back down the farm Trail. The wind is so cold but what can you expect it is a ski resort. It’s about a 3 mile walk along the hardpacked snowy path.

Then the afternoon is pickle ball for me and shopping for Wendy. Followed by a quick shower and turn around as we head off to Barbara and Steve‘s for dinner. Then on to watch the Utah high school ice hockey State finals. It’s a great game in a majestic stadium, with good company, and all for the amazing price of $3. Yet another great day here in paradise. 


Wake to a glorious sunny day and fresh powder.

Lazy morning followed by a trip to bank and the Christian centre. Then in the afternoon I’m off to the Basin Rec to play my first game of pickleball. Played terribly, slapped so many out of bounds. Must be the altitude. I really must stop hitting them so hard.

Evening is watching TV. Set up to get UK TV via our Apple TV.

Sunny again but oh so cold. Lazy morning and then I go for a pickleball lesson.

In the evening we go round to Laurrie and Mike’s for dinner. We were supposed to be going to Samies for dinner but surprise, surprise Laurrie’s prepared White Castles, what treat. So good to see them again and catch up. We laighed so much our sides ached. An awesome evening.

After another lazy start I set off to try out my new snowshoes. Just 3 miles but in soft snow it’s quite a good workout, sunny but oh so cold – minus 8C. I always thought skiing was a great calorie burner but it turns out that:

Calories burnt per hour

Ski. 532
Snowshoe. 710
Pickleball. 600
Walking 211
Hiking 430

The afternoon is more pickleball, but after my snowshoe workout, I settle for just an hour.

In the evening we meet up with Carol and Angela for dinner at the Windy Ridge Cafe as Hal is in agony with sciatica. Then it’s back home for more wine and TV.

Yet more sunshine.

Lazy morning then I go to the gunclub, sign up for a month and have 100 rounds of 9mm out of my favourite weapon, the Wilson Combat.

Then it’s back home for a 3 mile walk with Wendy and of course a trip to a supermarket.

In the evening we try our luck with the UK citizenship test. I pass, Wendy fails. The questions are so perverse. Then we try the USA and Australian tests and pass both. The Australian one is more a common-sense test. Says so much about the crazy UK test.

Lazy morning then off to Disney springs. Used to be called Downtown Disney by I suppose the marketing geeks decided that wasn’t sexy enough. A pleasant stroll around, I sit and watch the world go by while Wendy forages in the Disney store. Thankfully she comes out without any Disney gift cards – private joke – nor any gifts for the kids. My credit card breathes a sigh of relief. Then while we have a Starbucks a choir strikes up to entertain us.

Head out to Disney Celebration to pick up a Stromboli. Can you believe it? The Stromboli place has run out of meat. I walk out in disgust. The server is gob smacked and doesn’t know how to deal with it. Settle for a Reubens and Wendy for a chicken flat bread, obviously from a different restaurant.

Back to our suite for our tea, ginger beer and Netflix.

Very lazy morning watching the rain.

After lunch we take a stroll around Old Town Kissimmee, an American Blackpool without fish and chips or “Kiss Me Quick” hats – no MAGA hats either.

Then I’m off to Epcot for the Disney Quest Dive at Epcot. Well at least I would be if my SATNAV could find Epcot.

Must be the third time I’ve done this dive. As I get older it’s more my sort of dive, everything laid out for you; just 25 feet deep; plenty of pretty coral; not too cold; two dive masters in attendance; good gear and very safety conscious; best of all plenty of awesome fish including sharks and stingrays. Have trouble at first as my STAB vest is underweight so I can’t sink to the bottom. Thankfully one of the dive master has some extra weights. After that its all good. Best to just knell on the bottom and let the fish come to you. A pretty amorous Cowtail Sting Ray keeps fiddling up to me, turns out it’s fed on a black tray and therefore associates my black wet suit with food. Amazing having sharks and rays just swimming up to you, under you and over you.

Only downside to diving is going deaf, well more deafer than usual, for the next few days and the horrible taste of salty fish pee. Never mind a hot chocolate, seems the staple drink after all dives, soon gets rid of that.

Pick Wendy up and take her for a Valentines Day meal at the Olive Garden. Hang on there’s a one our wait. Forget it we’re not that romantic and settle for a Subway. Mind you there is only one kid serving and she’s slower than molasses on a cold day. 25 minutes later we have our Subway, sans Tomato because they’ve run out and anyway she doesn’t know how to pronounce it.

By now I’m that hungry I could eat a fried grizzly bear fur sandwich. To top it all the shortcut backroad to our hotel is blocked off by a Sheriff – god only knows why and he won’t split. Finally after an hour out foraging for food we get sat down to enjoy a Subway with an excess of Jalepenos that will set my arse on fire tomorrow and some very mediocre Mertlot that would be great at stripping the mould off my deck.

Tackle the early morning door slammers and shouting in the corridors. Turns out two of the offenders are teachers. Give them a Victor style meltdown. No wonder the kids have no respect for others if this is the example they set. Should be ashamed of themselves.

Very lazy morning with a late checkout at 13:00. Our flights not into 18:40. Check-in is smooth. TSA pre-checked. Flights on time, boarding is a tad slow, they seem to board at random – Jet Blue.

I have the pleasure of being sat next to some boobs on legs. She certainly flaunts them and any moment they could escape from there scanty cladding, or worse still a catastrophic costume failure. I can’t even look out the window without being confronted by them.

Nearly 5 hours flying to Salt Lake but lands on time. Hertz are a tad disappointing as their free President circle upgrade choice has no big SUVs like normal. But I suppose it’s only to be expected on Presidents weekend. At least the manager has picked out a brand new Malibu with low MPG, well at least low by American standards, but I can choose any of the other salons, including another Mustang. Go with the manager’s choice.

Fortunately, it’s not snowing so the drive up to park city is not too bad.

Arrive about 23:00 and our condo is great, modern, well equipped and bright, yes it even has plenty of lights although, like most American homes, no central ceiling light. Think we’ll be very comfortable here.

Snowing all day today. First task is over to Janelle’s to pick up our stuff. Then Hal and Carol come round and drop off our clotheswe’d left here.

Then joy of joy it’s the supermarket and Starbucks.

Bob and Marilyn invite us round for dinner. Wine at last and an amazing Lasagne. Pick up my bottle of Mid Winter Night Dram, it’s awesome.

Lovely sunny day. Drive up to Dunedin after the usual lazy morning. It’s a buzzing place. Last night we went to dinner there and the place was hopping, livelier than Clitheroe on a Saturday night, but alas despite the balmy evening scantily class wrenches were a tad rarer.

Wendy has her usual lunch on the pier s as we watch pelicans scooping up minnows into their amazing expanding chins.

Have a leisurely stroll around in hope of finding a cafe for coffee. No chance they’re all restaurants full of excess adipose tissue stuffing themselves to accumulate more.

Sit around the pool when we get back, but soon flew indoors as it’s just too hot. How anyone copes with Florida in summer I’ll never know.

Don’t I just love watching Curb Your Enthusiasm with Lary David, America’s Victor Meldrew. He comes out with some amazing rants that I can truly associate with. Like Rocking tables in cafes and restaurants and how difficult it is to get money out of pockets when in the car – hence traffic light beggers will never get rich.

Another gorgeous sunny day.

Drive up to Honeymoon island state park. Visit the nature centre and discover why it’s called honeymoon island. At last we get to have a coffee and then a pleasant stroll along the beach. Then sat like two old dears on a swing just watching the world go by. Who knows perhaps one day we’ll even come and spend a day sat on the beach – I doubt it.

Supermarket for our tea then it’s an alcohol free evening watching Netflix.

Depart our home exchange and drive up to Orlando for 4 nights. Home exchange was comfortable and clean, the only downside was a decrpit kitchen, not a handle on doors or drawers, and the outside needed some tender loving care. At least we had 10 days at zero cost.

Takes us about 90 minutes to get to our Comfort Suite hotel in Kissimmee. Very comfortable suite and well situated.

Have a leisurely coffee around the pool and get talking to an American couple from Atlanta, both ardent Trump fans. Have a pleasant afternoon putting the World to rights. Amazing how similar their problems are.

Go to the Red Lobsster for dinner. Just love obster but so much better having it prepared for you rather than having a whole lobster and having to excavate the green gunge inside yourselve.

At lasts a waffle for breakfast, not just any waffle but a Mickey Mouse waffle and to top it all they’re made for you. Although there is something quite rewarding in mastering the waffle machine and cooking your own breakfast. Mastery of a waffle machine should be a mandatory element of any American citizen test, along with mastery of a giant gas barbecue.

Drive down to Hollywood Studios. The only reason we’re calling in at Disney is to truly brass my kids off by going to see the Star Wars Park. They’re 30+year old Star Wars geeks. Going to Disney without a rug rat seems almost bizarre, it’s a wonder don’t have a Rent A Rug Rat counter at the entrance to all their theme parks for all the old saddos with no kids with them.

Hot, busy, clean and impressive. Catch a few of the shows and manage to get a free Fastpass into the Toy Story shooting ride, thanks to a kind attendant who obviously took pity on these two poor old dears who allegedly had no idea what a Fastpass was.

Finally, get to the Star Wars land, busy but not overly so. Amazing that I manage to get on the Millenium Falcom Smugglers run ride with only a 15-minute wait by joining the Singles line. Wendy gives it a miss, which given the roughness of the simulator ride was a smart move. The ride is just short enough to avoid you having to shout for Huey or Ruth, and still keep my breakfast.

An impressive new land. The attention to detail is amazing and although there are only two rides there is a lot going on.

Watch a Frozen Singalong – how sad is that. The woman next to me is orgasmic, more moves than a belly dancer, waving arms and body, singing along to the songs, trying to encourage her 5-year-old who has her head in her hands in disgust at her Mothers behavior.

At last, a leisurely coffee and some people watching. Orlando, the blobby capital of America, a magnet for excess adipose tissue. It’s quite depressing. More blobbies than good bacteria in a fat gut. Interesting how one of the family has an excess of adipose tissue then the rest of the family seems to suffer the same. The biggest threat here is being run down by a blobby in their electric dodgem.

Tea tonight is a Taco Bell at long last. Alas very disappointing, I think Taco Bell will no longer be top of my Junk Food list.