Tony & Wendy's Travel Blog

Saturday – crisp sunny morning. Makes you wonder why we go away :7)

Manchester airport – joy. Long queue to be screened. Now there’s a surprise. It would loose its official designation as an airport if there wasnt a queue. Only 2 out of 8 lanes manned. And surprise, surprise the multi million pound terra hertz scanners are not being used. Perhaps they can’t find any perverts to man them.

Bacon butties for breakfast. Wendy hits the brandy to help her tablets go down. Then has the empty glass nerve to criticise a family who are “drinking like mad”, probably jealous or apprehensive that there’ll be no brandy left. When we set off to board the plane she feels woozy, now there’s a surprise, I wonder what caused that.

Delta flight to Atlanta. No seat back tv system; half way through the flight there’s an emergency situation – they’ve run out of red wine; glad to report that Delta seem to have managed to train their staff to smile, although by the end of the flight some are turning to grimaces.

Interesting navigation solution they seem to be following the vapour trail in the sky.

Business class seems such a rip off, but possibly makes it more comfortable on a 9 hour flight, but sleeping tablets would seem to be a much cheaper solution – perhaps that’s the answer in future.

Landed in Atlanta on time to a typical American welcome.

35 minute queue for passport control. Yellow standdee line; finger prints; smile for the camera, yes I’m really in the mood for the 6th smile this year; stamp; stamp; questions galore, but at least he had a personality. On the positive side the queue for US citizens was longer, now there’s a first, and our luggage had arrived.
Usual question “why the hell do we come to this country when they treat visitors like this?”. Perhaps their economy is so strong they don’t really need tourists.

All made up for by the concierge in the Delta lounge who let us in, even though our card wasn’t valid. He was a real Anglophile and good to see that Delta really empower their staff.

4 hour stop over then we have a 90 minute flight to New Orleans. It’s 03:00 in the morning by the time we hit bed in our hotel.

Another hotel where our rooms next to a noise plant. Vibrating walls. Joy. Fortunately we’re that tired it doesn’t make a happeth of difference. Change rooms tomorrow.

Sunday – warm and sunny.

Up early for a waffle breakfast. Back to airport to pick car up. Nice top of the range Ford Focus. Hang on there’s a tyre pressure warning light on – come on Mr Hertz get it right. Here we go again. “No problem sir just go and choose any of those mid size cars over there”. Boring I know but pick a brand new top of the range Chevy Cruze. Great to drive, all the gadgets and gizmos and pretty good MPG for American gas guzzlers – yes they’ve still not learnt.

Interesting listening to a rotund customer at the Hertz desk ‘How do I get to the airport?”. Clerk “just down that walkway”. Rotund “What no bus?”. Bloody hell it’s only 200 yards and she certainly needed the exercise.

Drive down to the French quarter of New Orleans. Lovely relaxing place with with plenty of street entertainment and music going on. But of course you always get one scrot.  Guy sat on the pavement with a bucket in front of him. Jackson square has so much entertainment. Try some famous beignets at the famous Cafe du Monde. They’re tasty but the coffee with chicory leaves a bit to be desired.

Seafood Pistolettes for lunch – a creamy shrimp and crawfish on golden French role.

A really enjoyable day.

Walmart on the way home for wine and other essentials. Complete free health check for me, all done sat at computer screen. Good to see Walmart  respect their customers with someone on the door inspect receipts and goods in the trolley. Wendy gave her a very pleasant mouthful about respect for customers.

Monday – warm and sunny.

Breakfast nearly turns into world war III, when some stroppy gobby wench argues with her husband and me about how the waffle machine works – her husband needs to get a grip, but she definitely wears the trousers in that household. Does she not realise I’m the Egon Ronay of the waffle machine. We win, she waffles on.

Back down to the French quarter again. Stroll around one of their ancient cemeteries with there above ground burial houses, some are even 3 stories high. Lunch is a picnic in Jackson Square.

Then we go for a 2 hour trip down the Mississippi in a genuine Mississippi Paddle steamer, complete with Jazz band – no Mark Twain though. Pleasant afternoon. 

Dinner is on Bourbon Street in the French quarter. I have Jambalaya, crawfish pie, filet gumbo – name that song. Great food apart form the Jambalaya. Wendy’s not so keen on the Jambalaya.

Another great day. It’s all go though.

Really like New Orleans and especially the food. Even giving Taco Bell the elbow for now.

The famous Bourbon Streets a bit on the seedy side compared to the other streets, Royal is much nicer, but it has its compensations – see picture of the wench with the backside, enough to put you off sex for life. Alas it’s no pole dancing or Gentlemens clubs tonight! 

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

400 mile drive up to Las Vegas. Quite pleasant drive most of the way with the exception of Sun City. The traffic light centre of the Universe. Even worse than Tucson. More traffic lights on the main road than Talibans at a stoning. Unbelievable on a major road. Perhaps they have the idiot town planners we had to plan Shadsworth?

Hotel very comfortable, although they did try and put us in room 208 again. WHen I complained she recognised me from last time and had read my Tripadvisor rant. Problem solved and a note in our account to keep us away fro 208.

After 20+ years of coming to America we finally get to go to a Red Lobster. I even get to pick my live lobster that’s to be boiled to death. What a disaster, also a disaster for the lobster. Starters delivered late; food mediocre; my lobster was supposedly to be ready cleaned and excavated from it shell, but delivered whole. Ends up with the manager exacting it for me at the table. What a disaster of a meal. No one is happy. Complain and we all get a free meal. At least they put it right but it’ll be the first and last time at a Red Lobster and certainly no more whole lobsters.

Don’t you just love American logic. 20 children and 6 adults killed in Newton Massacre. What’s the response? Outright ban on all guns. Tighten gun controls. No since the massacre more states have eased gun controls and regulations than have bolstered them. Gob bless the 2nd and the masterminds of the NRA! Lunacy.

A hint of Dark Matter. WIMP’s a new form of matter may have been found which will help explain Dark Matter – one may be passing through you right now. These might help us find out whether the universe will carry on expanding ad infinitum; stop expanding at some point; stop and then start contracting. Put’s our trivial lives into perspective!

Why not to be a Muslim. Just a few Fatwas from the religion of peace:

Sleeping naked. Not allowed.

Mother day. Not allowed.

Valentines day . Not allowed.

Christmas tree up in a Muslim household. Not allowed – “It is not permissible to imitate the kuffaar in any of their acts of worship, rituals or symbols, according to the Prophet (blessings and peace o fAllah be upon him).”

Disobedient wife. Not allowed – Wives in general have to understand that obedience to their husbands is an Islamic duty that is required of them. The husband should do a good job of being in charge of his wife etc……

Shave your cheeks. Not allowed.

Women wearing the trousers. Not allowed. Pants or trousers are clothes that show the shape of a woman’s body and ‘awrah, so for this reason it is not permissible for women to wear pants, unless she wears over them a wide or loose shirt.

And just when you thought it was all abstinence, bans and no enjoyment a little ray of joy creeps in:

Stoning. Allowed. Nay positively encouraged. Almost a sin not to. Whoever takes part in stoning a married adulterer, is rewarded for that, and it is not fitting for anyone to abstain from it if a ruling of stoning is issued.

And Allah knows best.

Thursday – very hot and sunny. Really looking forward to home at 7 degrees C :7)

Leisurely morning. Late checkout. Drop car off. Hertz as efficient as ever. Curbside check in – very painless. Just the usual TSA crap to deal with and then we’re tucked up in the lounge. Wendy getting ready to down a bottle of brandy with gusto. I think it helps her tablets go down better than water. 3 half pints later I assist her to the plane.

Virgin have excelled themselves again and given us bulkhead seats – extra legroom. Wendy in her alcoholic haze spots emergency exit row seats available and arranges with the Air Hostess to get them for us. So another great Virgin flight with plenty of legroom at no extra cost.

Flight is fairly comfortable with great movie selection and lands on time.

Pick to car up only to realise that the tax disc has run out while we’ve been away. Fortunately there’s a post office around the corner from APH and with the wonders of technology manage to get a copy of my insurance on the iPhone and tax it there and then. What a major cock up on our behalf. We’d assumed it was tax for a year from when we bought it. Of course the DVLA didn’t bother sending a reminder until after we’d left. Try eating through to the DVLA to sort out the SORN issue – a major nightmare because they’re constantly too busy and hang up on you.

Back to sunny Belthorn, yes it is the same village and the sun is out with no sign of rain. Mind you to keep up it’s reputation it is only 5C with a howling gale. Bloody freezing – Joy! 

Just 15 days to go before we escape again.

We just love America but you do have to wonder about their education system. Conversation with bimbo at petrol pump. Bimbo – “Love your accent. Where are you from?”. Wendy –  “England”.  Bimbo – “Wow. How long will it take you to drive home?”. Sadly this is not an isolated incident. It’s the 3rd time we’ve encountered this cast iron believe that England is on the same continent as North America.

Just when you think everything is banned it appears that a new Fatwa Permits Rape of Non-Sunni Women in Syria, and lots of other places. Sorry it’s a bit long but it really is unbelievable:

Yet another Islamic cleric recently made it permissible for the Islamic fighters waging a jihad in Syria—politely known as “the opposition”—to rape the nation’s women.

Justifying rape in Islam’s name – a “legitimate fatwa” making it legal (in the eyes of Islam) for those Muslims fighting to topple secular president Bashar Assad and install Sharia law to “capture and have sex with” all non-Sunni women, specifically naming Assad’s own sect, the Alawites, as well as the Druze and several others, in short, all non-Sunnis and non-Muslims. Calls to capture and rape non-Muslim women are appearing with increasing frequency from all corners of the Islamic world.

A few months earlier, Saudi preacher Muhammad al-Arifi also issued a fatwa allowing jihadi fighters to engage in “intercourse marriage” with captive Syrian women that lasts for a few hours “in order to give each fighter a turn”—also known as gang-rape.

Then there is Egyptian Sheikh Ishaq Huwaini, who once lectured on how infidel captives, or to use another term from the Koran, ghanima, the “spoils of war,” are to be distributed among the jihadis and taken to “the slave market, where slave-girls and concubines are sold.” He, too, referred to such women as “what your right hands possess,” saying: “You go to the market and buy her, and she becomes like your legal mate—though without a contract, a guardian, or any of that stuff—and this is agreed upon by the ulema…. In other words, when I want a sex-slave, I go to the market and pick whichever female I desire and buy her.”

Indeed, even some Muslim women advocate the enslavement and rape of fellow (non-Muslim) women. Kuwaiti political activist, Salwa al-Mutairi, for instance, is working to see the institution of sex-slavery return. In a video she posted online, she explained how she once asked Islam’s greatest authorities living in the city of Mecca, the city of Islam, about the legality of sex-slavery and how they all confirmed it to be perfectly legitimate. According to Mutairi:

A Muslim state must [first] attack a Christian state—sorry, I mean any non-Muslim state—and they [the women, the future sex-slaves] must be captives of the raid. Is this forbidden? Not at all; according to Islam, sex slaves are not at all forbidden. Quite the contrary, the rules regulating sex-slaves differ from those for free women [i.e., Muslim women]: the latter’s body must be covered entirely, except for her face and hands, whereas the sex-slave is kept naked from the bellybutton on up—she is different from the free woman; the free woman has to be married properly to her husband, but the sex-slave—he just buys her and that’s that.

All great places for perverts and rapists to hang out, assuming of course they convert to the religion of peace and don’t sleep naked, celebrate Valentines day etc…..

Just love this (should explain that Ryanair is a cheap airline that offers flights for as low a £1 then charges a fortune for even breathing): 

Saturday.Ryanair’s Micheal O’Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, “That will be one Euro please, Mr. O’Leary.”
Somewhat taken aback, O’Leary replied, “That’s very cheap,” and handed over his money.
“Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition”, said the barman. “And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland”
“That is remarkable value” Michael comments
“I see you don’t seem to have a glass, so you’ll probably need one of ours.
That will be 3 euro please.
O’Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
“Ah, you want to sit down?” said the barman. “That’ll be an extra 2 euro. – You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro.”
“I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please”
Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can’t squeeze in he complains “Nobody would fit in that little frame”.
“I’m afraid if you can’t fit in the frame you’ll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir”
O’Leary swore to himself, but paid up. “I see that you have brought your laptop with you” added the barman. “And since that wasn’t pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro.”
O’Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, “This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager”.
“Ah, I see you want to use the counter,” says the barman, “that will be 2 euro please.” O’Leary’s face was red with rage.

“Do you know who I am?”
“Of course I do Mr. O’Leary,”
“I’ve had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!”

“Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second”
“I will never use this bar again
“OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro”

Awaken to glorious sunshine and clear blue skies. Are we back in Tucson? Is this really Belthorn? The breakfast on the patio test confirms we are truly back home – a bone chilling 6 degrees Centigrade.

Monday – hot and sunny.

Wendy and I are up early to do the Pima Canyon trail. On the trail head for 08:20. Kevin and Anne are doing the Tucson Mall.

Pima Canyon is gorgeous. Up hill all the way and one of the most difficult / technical walks we’ve ever done. Certainly think that coming down is going to be more technically difficult and much slower but it turns out to take the same time as the ascent. Get up as far as some of the pools and after an hour decide we’d better head back down as we think it will take us 2 hours to get back down. Turns out to be much quicker than we envisaged despite the difficult sections.

Rewarded for all our efforts with the sighting of the poisonous Gila Monster. Sadly I didn’t have my camera with me. By the time I’d got my iPhone out he’d gone. See picture from the Internet.

Well worth the early rise and the effort. A gorgeous canyon and being rocky and difficult meant you hardly had chance to notice the climb.

Wendy wanted to go to Tohon Chul gift shop – it’s a women’s thing. Glad we did as we get out the car there’s a Mojave Rattle snake (apparently one of the most aggressive and poisonous rattlers) sauntering across the car park – see pictures. Another real treat. All we need now to make the days the sighting of a Roadrunner – so far we’ve only seen the one doing what Roadrunners are good at – crossing the road. By way of compensation there’s a great video of a Roadrunner doing battle with his favourite lunch the Rattle snake – click here.

A Gila Monster and Mojave Rattle snake all in one day. How lucky can you get? Well a Roadrunner would have been a nice addition but don’t get greedy.

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

Ladies are doing the tidy up, ready for departure tomorrow, while the men explore the Romero Canyon. A lovely walk down a riparian in canyon but alas few birds and no Roadrunner. Take the car to be cleaned. That’s an experience $5 and all finished off by hand. They’re queuing up and it’s a proper assembly line.

 Nip down to the airport to pick up my hire car. Order the cheapest and smallest car with4 wheels from Mr Hertz and get an upgrade to the top of the range Chevy Cruze. Satellite radio and bristling with blue tooth, USB ports, electronics and gadgets. 

Saturday – cloudy (now there’s a first) and hot, 84F, as usual.

Highlight of the walk is we get to see a rattler – a diamond back no less. Actually would have missed it if this little kid hadn’t come running up to say there’s a snake and then proceeded to lob a big stone in its direction. Fortunately it didn’t hit the poor sleeping snake or else there would probably have been one child with a rattler attached. Amazing camouflage you would never spot it in a month of Sundays and it was only a foot off the main path. Just asleep and not bothered about all the passers by.Drive down to Sabino Canyon for a walk up Bear Canyon. Although cloudy it was quite hot and humid. Turns into a 4.5 mile walk quite a bit of it down a lovely stream.

Colorado sure seems to have more than its fair share of stupid laws, here some more:

It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.

It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.

The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.

It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

You may not drive a black car on Sundays.

It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes“unbecoming” on one’s sex.

Now Christians are kicking off. Riots pending?

Former Bishop speaks out against Good Friday documentary suggesting that Mary Magdaline was Christ’s lover or wife

Michael Nazir-Ali, the former bishop of Rochester, said the BBC programme, The Mystery of Mary Magdalene , presented by Melvyn Bragg would be hugely offensive to devout Christians because it amounted to the sexualisation of Christ .

He said it was all the more upsetting because it is being screened at midday on Good Friday, the moment the Bible says Jesus was put on the cross.

Lord Bragg, who describes himself as no longer a believer , argues that Mary’s close relationship with Jesus was effectively airbrushed out of the accepted Biblical account by misogynist Romans. He points to a series of ancient writings known as the Gnostic Gospels which were not included in the agreed list of books which became the New Testament. They include references to Mary being kissed on the mouth by Jesus, being his favourite and even, as one passage suggests, his wife.The campaign group Christian Concern has emailed its supporters urging them to complain to the BBC. Andrea Williams, director of Christian Concern, said:

Noon Good Friday is the precise time Christians are remembering Jesus’ crucifixion. To air a programme which questions the purity of Christ is at best insensitive and at worst offensive.

Now here’s the real kicker, apparently the head of BBC religious programming is actually a muslim. Can you imagine the Muslim response to a TV programme depicting Mohamed having sex!

Anyway the good news is I would have missed it. Now at least I’ll get to see it.

Sunday – hot and sunny again.

Happy Easter everyone, or for the PC / Dhimi brigade it’s “Spring Sunday”. If you’re offended by my wishing you a Happy Easter then I’m pleased, you clearly shouldn’t be reading my blog. You can tell it’s Easter Sunday as all the church car parks are bursting at the pews. Seems like the only time people go. I’m sure no one walks.

Wendy and I drive down to Saguaro National Park East and have a great walk around the desert. A pleasant 2 miles stroll. It sure feels like the desert – great. Followed by a lavish picnic. But alas no Roadrunner.

Then it’s coffee at Starbucks – becoming quite an aficionado and can now even order a coffee using Starbucks speak, with all the gusto of a resident of Pike Place – look it up if you don’t understand. Now we know the Americans go a tad OTT when it comes to their pets, but when you take your puppy to Starbucks, along with his luxury bed to lie on, it takes some believing. I’m surprised they didn’t order it a Starbucks drink.

Talking of Starbucks hows this for common marketing rip off sense. Each coffee I buy with my iPhone Starbuck app earns me stars and stars mean rewards. Excited so far. But if I but two coffees and pay with the card I only get one star. Now it’s two separate orders; two entires on the till; two receipts; twice as long. Come on you greedy marketeers get a grip.

More Colorado stupidity:

It is illegal to have a broken down car on private property or public right-of-ways.

It is illegal to have weeds in your yard

Residents may not own chickens, but may own up to three turkeys.

It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.

Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.

It is illegal to crash into obstacles on a ski slope.

Do not allow somebody to park less than 2 feet from you, or you will have to pay a fine.

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

Out for 09:00 for a drive down to Patagonia Lake. Visit the famous – well at least amongst birders – Patons Hummingbird site. It’s in Patons back garden; Chair under and awning; loads of bird feeders, especially Hummingbirds; full of Birders with giant phallic extensions to their cameras so big they need a tripod and crane to lift them – and then they think IT people are nerdy! Great site and loads of birds seen and amazing that it’s free.

Visit Sonita Creek Nature preserve – $5 a head – lovely walk but not a bird in site, only Javelina’s.

Meanwhile some Americanise – “Man that just up my alley”. Roughly translated “I really like it.”

Drive over to Sierra Vista and a great Hotel.

Meanwhile in case we wander into New mexico here’s some of their silly slaws:

Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered.

It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.

Persons may not spit on the steps of the opera house.

Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.

You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.

Only been in the job a few days. Did he know what he was letting himself in for:

While popes have for centuries washed the feet of the faithful on the day before Good Friday, never before had a pontiff washed the feet of a woman. That one of the female inmates at the prison in Rome was also a Serbian Muslim was also a break with tradition.
“There is no better way to show his service for the smallest, for the least fortunate,” said Gaetano Greco, a local chaplain.
Pope Francis kissing the feet of a young offender
Pope Francis washed the feet of 12 inmates aged 14 to 21, among them the two women, the second of whom was an Italian Catholic. Mr Greco said he hoped the ritual would be “a positive sign in their lives”.
Catholic traditionalists are likely to be riled by the inclusion of women in the ceremony because of the belief that all of Jesus’ disciples were male.

Good for him, let’s stir it up and head for change.

Thursday – hot and sunny.

Up early for a great breakfast – waffles. Meet some Americans who have have obviously lost the plot as they think Wendy speaks the Queens English.

Off down to Ramsey Canyon, another famous birding and beauty spot. Bump into a birding walk up the Canyon. So a 1 hour birding trip turns into a 3 hour tour. Great walk; lovely canyon; informative and entertaining guide; FOC – my favourite; but alas few birds. However we do get to see the American Woodpecker – a rare sighting apparently. Add 3 new birds to our sighting collection.

Manage to make a politically incorrect howler by describing a “controlled burn”. Apparently this is no longer PC as a local “controlled burn” got out of hand and burnt down a whole town. They’re now called “prescribed burns” so that if one ever gets out of hand there is no way it will burn down a whole town!

After Ramsey Canyon we drive down to Bisbee. Everyone says it’s a must see! Worse than Jerome and that’s saying something. Best thing was seeing convict shuffling out of court in chains in bright orange and white horizontal striped uniforms. Why don’t we treat our convicts like this or send them somewhere else!

Then after the intrepid travellers have been fed and watered we set off to Tombstone.

Anne and Kevin do the shoot out at one of the 5 original OK Corals in Tombstone – well comedy shootout. Just as boring apparently as all the others. Wendy  and I have a mossy around and then break one of the sacred laws of retirement and have a beer in a saloon – forgive me for I have sinned! Nearly fall off one of the swivel chairs at the bar as a gunfight ensues, they sure wake you up even though they’re firing blanks. All the waitress’s are properly attired in basques, short belts and back fishnet tights – very tasty. One of them has a platform bra / basque with two “giant St Bernard puppies” try to escape. This time I and 2 other guys fall off their perches. Sadly none of the pictures turn out.

More laws in Tombstone:

It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.

Women may not wear pants.

Nudity is allow, provided that male genitals are covered.

Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered.Full text of the law.

Idiots may not vote.

State officials ordered 400 words of “sexually explicit material” to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

They can’t even spell:

The website of topless feminist group Femen has been hacked and replaced with a page declaring the women dirty pigs. The message, in broken English, is spelt out in red and black capitals and reads:

Dirty pigs!
No fuck for you, even for your men! Come here Tunisa!
We will cut your breasts and give food our dogs!
Die sluts, prostitutes from Israel!

Femen posted on their Facebook page Dear friends, our website femen.org was hacked. Don’t trust the information that will be posted there till the moment we inform you that the website was fixed.

The women’s rights group has received international news coverage in recent weeks amid fears for Tunisian topless protester Amina Tyler after threats to stone her to death were posted online.

An international Free Amina movement began on April 4 with the news that Amina has been imprisoned in a psychiatric hospital.

Friday – very hot and very sunny.

Idle’itiss seems to have set in. Everyones either lounging around or shopping this morning after our two day excursion.

I go down to Catalina SP for a morning route march. Up to the Romero Canyon to the Montrose pools – sadly not that spectacular. Then do the Canyon Loop trail. An energetic 3.5 mile march in the gruelling sun, and it’s only 09:00. Lovely at this time of the morning.

As a reward call in Starbucks for coffee and wifi. Our cable modem’s gone the way of the Dodo, there’s a technical term for it – knackered.

Lengthy chat with Comcast who finally diagnose it as dead. Classic help desk. Can go and pick up an FOC replacement but what they forget to mention is that it’s not Comcast’s, so not FOC. Drive across Town to the service depot to find this out – typical Help desk numpty. Bestbuy next. Set it all up ok and then final step it screws up with screen that locks out. Now there’s a surprise, an IT solution that doesn’t work. Never experienced that :7). So internet not working yet I can Skype Comcast -interesting! Am I surprised? Comcast techies – note the plural – final fix it with a TOTO.

Anne and Wendy get their weekly treat with a trip to the supermarket. I have to make do with a Jacuzzi and lazy afternoon.

Tucson’s a great place but the traffic lights and lack of roundabouts does your head in. Best solution is to take a book with you to read at traffic lights!

Meanwhile Colorado has it’s fair share of stupid laws:

One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.

Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.

It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery storesto sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.

It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

Tags may be ripped off of pillows andmattresses.

Throwing missles at cars is illegal.

Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.

Establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them.

Catapults may not be fired at buildings.

It is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop.

It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property.

\Boulders may not be rolled on city property.

Couches may not be placed on outside porches.

UK websites hacked over religious extremism:

Two of the leading British blogs taking issue with religious extremism have been taken offline for an entire week by a large-scale cyber attack. No one has yet claimed responsibility for the attacks, but by the very nature of their targeting, the sources are thought to be religious extremists.

Both Harry’s Place and Student Rights suffered massive denial of service (DDOS) attacks over the past week – a cyber attack which blasts servers with traffic in order to overload them and effectively knock the websites out.

A statement posted on the Harry’s Place website said:

We were taken down by another very nasty DDOS attack. The ferocity of this one was actually quite staggering, so clearly we’re doing something that is getting under someone’s skin, someone with a very a fair amount of resources behind them. That a humble blog like ours — written by a few amateur pundits in their spare time, and relying entirely on donations from readers for its expenses — seems to threaten forces with this sort of virtual fire-power at their disposal is as flattering as it is baffling.

Student Rights, the leading pressure group in the UK for tackling extremism on university campuses said in a statement:

Our website has been the target of a malicious and illegal attack for a prolonged period of time. Our work, as many know, is to challenge extremism including Islamist activity and the far-right. We can only imagine that the attack must have emanated from one of these two groups.

Authorities are currently investigating the attacks. I bet!

Saturday – hot and sunny. 

Stop off at the local cafe for coffee and scones, at least for some who seem to have hollow legs. They do green eggs and ham, sounds revolting but when we find what’s in it (scrambled eggs with Pesto and cheese) I’m sure it would be great – on the menu for next week.After lazy breakfast drive up to Oracle State Park. Key word there is up to. It’s very hot on our patio but Oracle SP is higher up and there’s a nice cooling breeze. Get a free tour around the ranch house, compete with samples of native foods collected in the desert such as acorns and Lemonade berries – like sherbets. Then do a short nature trail.

After lunch I take the car down to the local garage used by Jerry (car owner), to have a slow puncture looked at. Done while I wait. 10 minutes of a job. How much? Oh there’s no charge for repairs like that, “have a nice day”. Should I have tipped them? Amazing!

Meanwhile the rest of the crew have gone off to buy Kindles and buttons – don’t ask – so it’s a restful afternoon on the patio and 17:00 is approaching so it’s a choice between a good German beer and a jacuzzi or a Pinot Noire. Or better still start off with the beer and then move onto the wine.

Perfect end to another perfect day.

Sunday – hot and sunny.

Up at the crack of sparrows to go on the 08:00 bird walk at Catalina State Park.  Spotted 35 new birds. Only a 3 mile walk but it took 3.5 hours. Several experts leading the walk all very knowledgable.

Back home for lunch and a relaxing afternoon. Anne and Kevin playing with their new toys. Anne with an iPad and Kevin with a Kindle. Now Annne’s on Facebook thanks to Wendy. Wendy’s knitting and I’m doing my photos and blog.

Monday – hot and sunny for a change.

Wendy and I went down to Tohono Chul Park. A lovely park in the middle of Tucson. A bit like a botanical garden, sad to say we quite enjoyed it. Must have seen about 8 different birds even though we arrived quite late. Took about 90 minutes to explore it. Some lovely relaxing areas and Wendy got quite excited about some of the water features, she has visions of one in my Zen garden – dream on. Went to try and get a table for lunch but there was a 40 minute wait and yet there were plenty of empty tables. Typically Americans were patiently waiting. I find this a bizarre feature of the American way of life in that they’ll gladly wait 40 minutes plus for a table rather than voting with their feet and going elsewhere.

Drove down to the University. Had lunch at Starbucks. Really into this now with auto top up on my iPass app and a list of favourite coffees being built up. Carry on at this rate I’ll be able to speak Satrbuck’ese and order a coffee with gusto.

Visited the Pottery exhibition at the University. May well have the largest collection of Southwest Indian pottery in the World but sadly only a small percentage on display.

Visited the Indian life exhibition. Interesting how they made a good living from the land and then along came the settlers, who rapidly turned the areas into deserts with their greed and water wastage.

Tuesday – hot and sunny yet again.

Catch up on some work and phone calls first thing. Then by the time we’ve all rolled out of bed and got into gear we drive down to Sabino Canyon. Catch the tram up to the top and then make the 3.7 mile walk back down. Takes just under 2 hours. Thank a deity we didn’t attempt to walk up and back down. By lunch time I think we all feel like Taliban’s without a turban and ready for a break.

Then on the way back we all get the excitement of a trip to the supermarket.

Lazy afternoon. I manage to get a bit more work done and overcome an SSRS screw up. By way of a treat I have a jacuzzi and Spaten. This is the life. Jacuzzi has a bed area with jets all over the back and feet. Ideal after a hard day.

Monday – hot and sunny again.

Time to put some pictures on of our home fro home. Another lovely home exchange.

Drive down to what we believe is the Sweatwater ponds but turns out to be the Sweater water trail head in the Saguaro National Park. Have a pleasant but hot walk, 3 mile, among the giant Saguaro.

On the way back call in at sport shop for tee shirts etc and Starbucks for a relaxing coffee. Have a pleasant long chat with an American couple from Chicago who have a total aversion to Obama, so much so they won’t even say his name. Does no one like him? Where are all those who voted for him? Yet to meet anyone on this trip. After an hour though we’ve put the World to rights – sack all the politicians.

Loony laws are not just passed in the UK:

ANYONE who detonates a nuclear device in the city limits in Chico, California, can be fined $500 (about £260). If anyone’s still around to collect it, that is…

DONALD Duck comics were once banned in Finland because he never wore trousers.

DOCTORS are banned from looking directly at a woman’s private parts in Bahrain, so docs who need to carry out examinations have to use a mirror.

IT is illegal to set a mousetrap in California if you don’t have a HUNTING licence.

THE entire Encyclopaedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Tuesday – hot and sunny

Drive down to the Sweatwater Ponds. Which in itself is no mean feat considering that all the roads approaching it are closed due to road works – still makes us feel at home.

Pleasant walk around the ponds and see quite a few new birds and some old favourites. Mainly water birds.

Afternoon doing some work.

Kevin and Anne arrive around 17:30 after 470 mile drive from LA.

Yet more from the lawmakers of the World:

MEN who wear skirts in Italy can be thrown in jail. Good job David Beckham plays in Spain, then.

YOU can be thrown in jail in Burma for going on the Internet. Anyone found in possession of a modem can be imprisoned.

IT is illegal for a man with a moustache to kiss a woman in Eureka, Nevada.

IF a child burps in church in Nebraska, his or her parents can be arrested. It is also illegal in that state for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a licence.

MICKEY Mouse was banned in Romania in 1935 because officials thought the sight of a ten-foot high rodent on screen would terrify the nation’s children.

Tired of your job?

Sick of working 40 hours or more each week just to feed your family?

Would you like to relax all day and still have all the benefits of a full-time job?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you should consider moving to England the welfare country.

If you qualify (and only working people do not) you can receive the following: free Housing, free utilities, free food, free medical services, free transportation, free legal services. This program is not limited to 36 months like other countries. In England you can collect for life. Some of our families have received benefits at two or three generations.

So if you would like to receive all this without working for a living contact the benefits agency England the country where only suckers work.

Wednesday – hot with sun and cloud.

Up and out for a 10:00 walk to the ruins in Catalina State Park. Pleasant little walk with plenty of birds. Then do the bird walk which ironically has fewer birds.

Afternoon the ladies have their treat and go to the super market. While Kevin and I do manly things like wine shopping and browse technology in Best Buy. Evening TV viewing spoiled by crap BBC iPlayer software. Now there’s a surprise. Funny how Netflix seem to be able to provide a good service. Perhaps it’s time for heads to roll at the BBC software team and get a team in that can deliver.

Thursday – warm 83F but overcast.

Get some work done first thing.

Then set off to visit old Tucson studios. Turns out there’s a Wild West day tomorrow so visit the desert museum and zoo. Have a very pleasant day, even though its our second visit. Raptor display is well worth it.

Finally get to see what a Cresote bush looks like. Apparently it releases it’s aroma – if you can call it that – when it rains. A simple way to sniff it is to breathe on it. The moist air in your breathe brings out the smell. That concludes todays useless piece of information.

See a chain gang – minus the chains – working on the road side. Why don’t our clowns, sorry MP’s, introduce it in the uk along with a few other common sense initiatives like workfare?

Evening spent nodding off to TV, now there’s a surprise.

As we’re in Arizona I thought it might be prudent to check up on the local laws. Ignorance of the law is no defence:

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Hunting camels is prohibited.

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.

There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”.

It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

Give Bali a miss:

Unmarried couples caught having sex could be sent to prison under a proposed revision of Indonesia’s criminal code.

An amendment to the penal code was submitted to lawmakers on March 6 and must pass through the House of Representatives before it becomes law.

A Jakarta Globe report claimed that jail sentences of up to five years would be handed out to couples engaged in a sexual relationship outside wedlock.

Wahiduddin Adams, director general for legislation at the Injustice and ‘Human Rights’ Ministry explained that non-married couples were included in the proposed revision to reflect prevailing norms in Indonesia. He added that the law would only be enacted if a report against an individual was made by others who felt they have been disadvantaged because of the action.

A blackmailer’s charter then, especially useful for settling personal grudges. How can you be “disadvantaged”, unless of course you were hoping to have sex with one of the offenders? Confirms my travel policy of avoiding Muslim and such countries that have balmy laws.

Friday – hot and sunny.

Off to old Tucson studios for a cracking day out. Plenty to see and do even though its our 2 nd visit.

Don’t you just love American job creation. Get your tickets and then 10 feet later hand them into a lady who hands out a map and tells you the highlights of the day. Well not quite as she’s not been told all that’s on.

In the evening we try and stay awake through one of the westerns shot at the studios – Hombre.

More nonsense laws from Arizona’s cities:

Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.

If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.

No more than six girls may live in any house.

A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.

An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.

No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.

It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.

Revealing Words… Tunisian moralists call for barbaric killing to counter topless protest:

After becoming an international internet sensation, a topless Tunisian protestor, Amina, is now facing nasty threats from moralists in her home country.

The woman posted the pictures of herself (sorry no picture here as I wouldn’t want to offend anyone :7) ) on the internet to coincide with International Women’s Day and wrote across her torso in Arabic:

My body is mine, it is not the source of anyone’s honor.

In a local TV interview, she said she had been protesting for women’s rights and to celebrate the news that a FEMEN – the international women’s rights organization notorious for stripping in public – office would be opening in her country.

Adel Alami, head of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice in Tunisia, called this week for the unnamed girl to be whip-lashed one hundred times in punishment. Then, fearing that he might be going easy on the nude feminist, Alami changed his mind and decided on stoning instead (Thank a deity for that. I thought they were going soft).

News flash:

There are reports that 19 year old Amina who posted nude photos of herself for FEMEN Tunisia has been seized by her family and possibly the civil police and been hospitalised in a psychiatric hospital.

The only madness here is that she has been detained rather than those who have threatened her with stoning to death and are now denying her freedom.

Thursday – warm and sunny.

Up early. Washing done and off by 08:00.

It’s a 433 mile drive down to Chinle the nearest town to Canyon de Chelly. A stunning drive through, mountains, forests and drive through Moab where we stayed in 2011.

After 8 hours finally arrive in Chinle on the Navajo Indian reservation. What can I say. It’s as if Disney have done a theme park celebrating a 3rd World Country. Is this really America? One might wonder why Indian reservations are always the same. It’s in the middle of nowhere; ram shackled housing; dust and litter everywhere; mangy dogs roaming the streets; natives sat around in the shade; dead dogs on the roadsides; unusually for America people actually out walking, but no sidewalks just dirt paths. This is not a place to be wandering around at night. This must be a prime example of poverty in USA. The Indians really did seem to get a rough deal when it came to land allocation.

Try and buy some alcohol. No chance. No alcohol on an Indian reservation. To be fair it’s at the choice of the Navajo peoples who are trying to crack down on alcoholism. Tax rates on income and new business are very low. An incentive I suppose. But tax rates on hotels comes to 13% for Navajo and 7.05% for the state. With those tax rates you would have thought this place would be state of the art, but then again there are only two hotels and not really much to attract visitors.

We stay at the Holiday Inn first time in years and certainly the last. 

Lovely hotel, great rooms and good breakfast but there the compliments end of my first stay in years at a Holiday Inn.

Receptionist had obviously studied and come top of his class at the Neanderthal School of Charm and Hospitality. Let’s guess which of these words or phrases never passed his lips during the check in process:

“Hello”, “Welcome”, “Can I help you”, “Please”, “Thank you”, “grunt”.
Well the only one he didn’t use was a grunt. Certainly no please or thank you and to be honest I’m amazed he didn’t grunt. It was the rudest experience we’ve ever experienced. If he’d worked for me he be on a final written warning or instant dismissal – tough choice.

Fortunately after a long drive there are some beers in the boot of our car – smart move.

Countless individuals accused of apostasy and blasphemy face threats, imprisonment, and execution. Blasphemy laws in over 30 countries and apostasy laws in over 20 aim primarily to restrict thought, expression and the rights of Muslims, ex-Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

On 14 March 2013, we call for an international day of action to defend apostates and blasphemers worldwide.

IT is illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle in London since a law passed just after the Second World War.

WOMEN are allowed to bite off a man’s nose if he kisses her against her will in a law that dates back to 1837.

MUNCH on a mince pie this Xmas and you are breaking the law. Oliver Cromwell banned them in the 17th Century because he said they were not Puritan enough.

ALL Englishmen over the age of 14 must spend two hours a week practising the LONGBOW, supervised by the local clergy. This law dates from the middle ages when there was no standing army so in times of war noblemen were required to provide knights, archers and infantry.

BREAK your boiled egg at the pointed end and you can be put in the stocks for 24 hours under a law passed in 1561 by King Edward VI.

WEAR a tall hat at the theatre and you could be fined since someone sat in front of Oliver Cromwell and obstructed his view of the stage.Friday – hot and sunny.

Up early for breakfast and exploitation. Breakfast was included. $20 voucher given us. We went for the basic breakfast rather than ala carte. “Would you like some fresh orange juice?”. Sounds nice. But on interrogation it turns out thats extra – good job we checked. They have other juices but no orange – I wonder why? First feeling of being exploited and mistrust is setting in.

Then we get the bill $20.07. 2nd exploitation / mistrust. I’m not to $0.07 but its the principle. “Oh well that’s the tax” they explain. But my breakfast is included in the room rate. Oh yes but you have to pay the tax. No I don’t it’s included. After much discussion they finally relent and drop the $0.07.

So Mr Holiday Inn you’ve spoilt a lovely hotel with appalling reception service – would best be used as a training film – and made me feel exploited and mistrust you. For that reason you get a rating of terrible and a deep reluctance to use your hotel chain ever again. 

Load up and take the South Rim drive around the edge of Canyon de Chelly. Impressive and I suppose it was worth the trip – actually it was the most direct route from PC down to Tucson and saved us 36 miles. Alas it was not as good as Mesa Verde. Basically a Rim drive with various stop off points and walks to view points down to the canyon 700+ feet below. Some of the drop offs were of under wear staining quality. Give me standing at the top of a double black diamond ski run any day. Unlike Mesa Verde you were not able to go into and tour the “White House” ruins, which weren’t all that big and certainly not worth a 2 hour hike down to them.

Then we’re off for a 360 mile drive down to Oro Valley, Tucson.

Drive has some stunning and varied scenery. Drive down the Salt River canyon, 2,000 feet deep. Awesome scenery and nearly as impressive as the Grand Canyon. Finally drive through the Sonora desert complete with the majestic Saguaro cacti.

Finally, after a 6 hour drive, we arrive at our home exchange for the next 3 weeks. A lovely bungalow in the Oro valley just on the outskirts of Tucson and at the foot of the Catalina Mountain range – alas no skiing. Within minutes we’re feeling at home and will be very comfortable for the next 3 weeks. Oh and did I happen to mention a 22Mb wifi connection – super.

McDonalds Angus burger for dinner, which has the distinctive taste of fish. We’ll be getting our money back on that. Fortunately a pleasant bottle of Pinot Noire makes up for the that and acts as a great night cap.

Oh dear how sad a book fell on the ground. Sounds familiar:

Palestinians ‘enraged’ by reports that an Israeli policeman had knocked a religious book to the floor battled riot officers at Jerusalem’s Al-Aqsa mosque compound with stones and petrol bombs on Friday, police and witnesses said.
Police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said that about 100 protesters, many of them masked, attacked police, who fired stun grenades in response. He told AFP:
Petrol bombs were thrown at police, Several police officers were injured by stones that were thrown and were evacuated to hospital.
Patching together two sides of the story, it appears that a Koran was knocked to the ground in a scuffle when police stepped in as muslim women were blocking Israelis from entering the compound.

More UK silly laws:

DON’T make fun of a boxer during a bout or you’re breaking the law and can be thrown out on the street. “Insulting or abusive remarks directed at the contestants” are out.

BE careful where you scatter a loved-one’s ashes as you will be breaking the law if you spread them where they could contaminate the water supply.

EVER been lost going round a strange round about for the first time? Well if you circle it more than THREE times, you could be arrested as it is an offence.

NO matter how heated Prime Minister’s Question Time gets, Tony Blair and David Cameron are banned from putting on ARMOUR in Parliament since a law passed in 1313.

LET a desperate stranger into your house to use the loo and – if you live in Scotland – you’re committing an offence according to a law dating from 1791.

STEALING post from the Royal Mail is an offence because it is still classed as an act of treason.

COUPLES in Birmingham can be fined £25 if they have sex “on the steps of any church after the sun goes down”. However, the law says nothing about doing it in broad daylight…

Saturday – hot and sunny.

Up at the crack of dawn. We’ve gone back an hour with the time zone change. Breakfast sat on the patio with the sun coming up over the Catalina Mountains. Clear blue sky. A birders paradise, as we try and complete our breakfast the binoculars are constantly in use on the various birds. 6 different species just over breakfast. This is the life.

Home exchange comes with a comfy car, so we take the Hertz mobile back to the nearest Hertz. Should have gone back to the airport but they had no problem with us dropping it off at the local Hertz – good customer service yet again. For an SUV it was very comfortable and a pleasure to drive.

After lunch Wendy nips to the local super market for a part weekly shop.

Then afternoon tea on the patio; unpack; and we’re all set at our lovely home from home. Home exchange is totally bodacious.

Belgium modernises its laws so as to be suitable for the Dark Ages:

Arne S was sentenced by the criminal court of Bruges, to four months in prison for having torn a copy of the Koran in front of a group of Muslims, in June 2012, in Ostende.
On 8 June last year, in the early evening, the accused participated in a demonstration in Ostende. After the demonstration, he went into a cafe’ where he exchanged words with around a dozen Muslims. In front of their eyes, Arne S. tore a copy of the Koran.

More UK silly laws:

OFFER your local Father Ted a cup of tea and you can be tortured or even hangtured under a laed of dating from Eliza1 beth I’s reign that

DON’T go to a fancy dress party as a Chelsea Pensioner. Because they are entitled to increased state benefits and subsidised housing, it is an offence to pretend you are one.

MEN caught short in the street are legally allowed to urinate in public, but ONLY on the rear wheel of their own car on the driver’s side of the vehicle.

SPRING cleaning? Hang a bed out of your window and you can be jailed for up to five years…

IT is against the law to be drunk in a pub or bar says the Licensing Act passed during the First World War.

Sunday – hot and sunny. Don’t know how hot just dammed hot.

Out early’ish to avoid the heat. Take a gentle 2 hour stroll around Catalina Canyon State park in the foothills of the Catalina mountains. See 3 new birds.

Then pop down to the Mall for a pair of new sandals and a tee shirt (Wendy didn’t bring many for me). Leisurely coffee at Starbucks. Quite interesting the age profile in there. There’s a lot of silver surfers and of course everyone who has a laptop for the free wifi has an Apple Mac – goes without saying, very trendy. Amazing I talk to one old geezer who lives local and has got in his car to pop down to Starbucks to pick up a coffee and tea for him and his wife. Is this the ultimate in take aways. Do they not have a kettle and coffee machine?

Afternoon spent sat outside on the patio doing some work.

What a tough life!

Opposition or Just Opposite to Human Rights…

Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood well unimpressed by a UN declaration that condemns violence against women. They have claimed that a UN declaration calling for an end to violence against women will lead to the complete disintegration of society .

Delegates at the UN’s Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) in New York have spent the last fortnight debating the wording of a declaration that would condemn violence against women. The brotherhood, whose close allies control Egypt’s parliament and presidency, slated the declaration in an online statement calling it a decadent and destructive document that undermined Islamic ethics by calling for women to work, travel and use contraception without their husbands’ permission.

In a 10-point memorandum, the brotherhood also criticised the declaration for granting women sexual freedom, allowing Muslim women to marry non-Muslims, granting equal rights to homosexual people, and allowing wives full legal rights to take their husbands to court for marital rape. The brotherhood’s statement claimed.

This declaration, if ratified, would lead to complete disintegration of society, and would certainly be the final step in the intellectual and cultural invasion of Muslim countries, eliminating the moral specificity that helps preserve cohesion of Islamic societies.

Monday – grey, cloudy and cold.

Total cock up on the weather as it forecast sun and clouds so I’ll catch early tracks in a lightweight ski top and spend most of the morning freezing – a first this trip. Lights very flat so although it’s not a white out you can’t really see much of the contours. A hard mornings skiing. Needless to say Wendy didn’t bother.

Met Wendy for lunch at Payday.

Took bottle of wine and chocolates for Jeff and Lifties as a thank you for yesterdays Mothers day surprise. PCMR are quite rightly making the most of it and are putting pictures / story on their blog.

Nip over to Carols for coffee and then visit their Racquet Club house that we’re thinking of renting from November for a year. It’s 3 bedroom, great deck with jacuzzi, lovely furnished and kitted out. Even has an office area and garage. And of course wifi. Locations great for town, recreation centre round the corner, just off a golf course, lovely area and on a bus route, yet not on a man road. Ideal. Would be a real home from home for us.

Tuesday – hot and sunny.

Decide to have a lazy start and go on the free guided tour of the mountain. Not that I need to find my way around but just by way of a change. Works out as a good mornings skiing. Cover a lot of the mountain and reasonably fast as there’s only 3 + guide and all fairly confident skiers.

Meet Wendy again at Payday and then cruise all the banks to see whats the best deal for a US account. They all seem to be pretty similar but charge from $20 down to $12 for a wire transfer in. Each one gets cheaper as we move down the road. At this rate by the time we get to Kimble junction they’ll be paying us. Best so far seems Chase. Not the cheapest but have the best offering and eServices.

Wednesday – hot and sunny.

Wendy wakes up in the middle of the night, looks outside the window and tells me it’s snowed. Excited! Alas when we get up it turns out she was leading me on.

Up early and out for first tracks on last day. First in line at Eagle – who says I’m obsessive.

Meet Dave, a fellow nerd, on the lift and he’s new to the mountain. Give him a few tips and we then spend the rest of the morning skiing together as I give him the nerds guided tour of PCMR. Fortunately he’s of a similar standard so we manage to burn up some runs together and cover most of the morning. A hard mornings skiing and a fitting end to the holiday – see tracks.

Wendy’s been cleaning up and packing all morning while I beaver away on the mountain. In the afternoon I clean up skis and boots etc and pack them ready for storage.

Drive over to Carols for dinner and to drop off ski gear for storage. Have a lovely evening with them and a great meal. A real treat of spatzle (my favourite that we can’t get in England), rot kohl and viener schnitzel. Agree a 10 month rental on their lovely Racquet Club place. Start on 1st November. Aiming to stay for all November to 20th December; mid january to mid April; all of June, July and August. A whole year of great skiing and the allegedly great Park City summers – hiking and mountain biking. Really looking forward to it.

Angela loves her Disney Princess Bell dress for her birthday – see picture.

Meanwhile Wendy’s Mother’s Day surprise has now made the Lancashire Evening Telegraph – at this rate she’ll need a publicity manager and dark glasses to avoid being recognised in public.

Friday – warm and cloudy. 

Answer to my unbelievable quiz:

In each of these 5 towns it is illegal NOT TO HAVE A GUN IN THE HOUSE! 

Can you believe it? No, it’s not a typing mistake.

In each of these 5 towns it is illegal NOT TO HAVE A GUN IN THE HOUSE!
I repeat in each of these 5 towns it is illegal NOT TO HAVE A GUN IN THE HOUSE!

I’m speechless.

One of the towns rational is that 94% already have a gun so we might as well make it mandatory – doh!

God bless the second amendment and don’t anyone f..k with it.

Well did you guess right?

Up early for the new snow, all 1″ of it. Good morning skiing but alas no groomed blacks so it’s a ski with style day.

Get chatting to a Bob Dylan fan over coffee. Why is it that they’re all old (well I understand that); balding; but worse still usually have pony tails. This guy fits the profile.

And while we’re on about typical profiles why do Americans all have such brilliant white teeth?

Afternoon leisurely fixing my blog problem that lost all my work. Finally pin it down to an emoticon in the blog. That’ll teach me to smile!By lunch time the snows gone to that hard pack you get on a warm (+32F) day.

Then out shopping. Free Burritos vouchers. Oh but you’ll have to pay $0.18 tax. How can I pay tax on zero. I can feel  a Victor moment coming on – pots for rags. Needs the brains of the supervisor to sort it. Just to finish the expedition we return the 2nd kettle to Walmart. In true American fashion it seems to think that the boiling point is about 60F.

Then for Wendy it’s an East Enders fiesta – two hours worth to catch up on.

Don’t you just love our government:

Dear Sirs,

I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

Do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have on my pension book.

It’s on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years.

It is on my National Health card.

My driving licence.

My car insurance.

On the last eight damn passports I’ve had.

It’s on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years.

All those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Mary Anne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!!

I apologise, I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin’ there?

Look at my damn picture.

Do I look like Bin Laden?

I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?

If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you’d be the last fucking people I’d want to tell!

Well, I have to go now,’cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30.

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?

Nooooooooooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense.

You’d rather have us running all over the fuckin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it’s really me on the damn picture – you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin’ morons)

Hey, do you know why we couldn’t smile if we wanted to? Because we’re totally pissed off!

Signed

An Irate Citizen

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me?

Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 …

I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.

However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am – you know, someone like my doctor ..

WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN!

It really is a nonsense, just like tax forms, and all the rest that ask you to fill in information they already have. Perhaps it’s time for a citizens petition for a law banning stupid and unnecessary questions.

Meanwhile it would appear that here in Utah there’s plenty of stupid laws:

It is considered an offense to hunt whales.
No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
Alcohol may not be sold during an emergency.
Individuals may not possess beer in containers larger than two liters unless they are a retailer.
Boxing matches that allow biting are not allowed.
It is illegal to cause a catastrophe.

Saturday – warm (36F) and cloudy.

Wake up to a powder alert. 8″ virgin powder in place of the 1″ promised. Rare that they under promise and over deliver.

In the queue for first tracks at 09:00. Who said I’m obsessive? I’m not alone.

8″ of virgin powder. Epic day. This photo of the heavy powder on a ski run is just for you Ross. I swear it brings back memories. By 10:30 there’s no virgins left. Really exhausting, but oh so worth it. This is what it’s all about.

Mid morning have a well deserved coffee in my mountain office by a roaring log fire. Then afterwards it’s a few more runs. By now most of the blue runs etc are mogul fields. I thought after 3 weeks daily skiing I was fit. But these runs prove quite gruelling. Gone are the non stop runs down. My legs are burning and turning to jelly.

After lunch we have a cruise around The Racquet Club estate where we’re thinking of doing a year rental. Then pop into the well hidden state liquor store. Wendy wants to get another bottle of the wine she enjoyed. What type was it and what was it called? “It was red.” Don’t you just love it 368 bottles of red wines to choose from!

Yet more laws from Utah:

You must have identification to enter a convienence store after dark.
Women may not swear.
Daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.

Mustn’t upset the Muslims: Channel 4 and BBC’s disgraceful cowardice over Islamism play

CAN we talk about this? is a hit DV8 play that focused on the reluctance of media and political figures to openly discuss the dangers of Islamism and Sharia law.
It enjoyed a successful run at London’s National Theatre and Sydney Opera House amongst other venues. The play featured speeches and interviews with leading figures from across the political and cultural spectrum, including One Law for All’s Maryam Namazie and Anne Marie Waters.
It explored issues of freedom of speech, censorship and violence, as well as the impact of significant events such as the ‘Rushdie Affair’, the murder of Dutch film-maker Theo Van Gogh, and the Mohammed cartoons.
But Lloyd Newson’s play has proved too hot a potato for Channel 4, which feels that the “current climate” makes the award-winning production unacceptable for British viewers – and Namazie is outraged by what she sees as as “blasphemy law by stealth”.
Similarly the BBC, which had commissioned previous films from Newson, has declined to film the play.

UN special rapporteur on freedom of religion comes out strongly against blasphemy laws:

The United Nations’ special rapporteur on freedom of religion or belief has come out strongly against laws against blasphemy and apostasy.
Heiner Bielefeld said in a report to the U.N. Human Rights Council that legislation outlawing apostasy and insults against religious figures could be used to violate the rights of minorities:
States should repeal any criminal law provisions that penalize apostasy, blasphemy and proselytism, as they may prevent persons belonging to religious or belief minorities from fully enjoying their freedom of religion or belief.
The comments from the United Nations’ special rapporteur on freedom of religion or belief came amid heightened focus on faith-based laws in countries like Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, where blasphemy carries the death penalty.
Bielefeld does not speak for the U.N. but was taken on as an independent official to report regularly on how freedom of religion was respected across the world.

But given the UN bias in this area will they have the guts to adopt this.

Sunday – hot blue bird day not a cloud in the sky.

Set alarm for early start but nobody told us the clocks went forward. Up late with a lot to do.

Call round at Carols to pick up Wendy lift tickets and then get a spot on Payday car park before it’s full.

Manage to cajole Wendy into skiing but can I get her up there before 10:45, it’s like trying to get a Taliban to wash the pots in marigolds and a piny. Little does she know of the surprise that’s in store for her. As part of the surprise I couldn’t use my lift pass until Wendy arrived so I sat around in Payday for 90 minutes.

Wendy turns up at 10:45 and we meet Carol and Angela around 11:20 ready for our ride up Payday to Wendy’s surprise. As we ascended Payday lift Wendy had no idea what was in store for her. In fact as we got off the lift she was that focused on getting straight off I had to point out Mother Day banner held up for her.

Kurt had contacted the Park City Resort Lift Operations Manager with a request to have a banner for Mothers day ready at the top of Payday lift. This was a first for them. The whole scheme was co-ordinated with all the lift staff, as I went through the barrier my ticket was rejected (aren’t computers grand when they work). This triggered a pre-arranged call to the top of the mountain to give them the chair number we were on. Then when we got to the top there was the manager with this banner along with a photographer. He’d patiently been waiting there sine 09:00. Talk about going the extra mile and great customer service – awesome. Thanks to all the staff, especially Jeff Marzka (Lift Operations Manager) and our creative children.

Wendy was absolutely overwhelmed. It really made her day.

This is surely an idea that could be marketed as an extra revenue stream.

Then have the rest of the morning skiing with Carol, Angela and a couple of runs with Randy. 

Lunch consisted of beers and salad on Payday’s patio with friends, sat in the glorious sunshine.

After lunch Randy and I had a quick run down Jonesys and Heckler, then I joined Wendy, Carol and Angela for a few easy runs. Yet another awesome day, especially for Wendy.