Tony & Wendy's Travel Blog

20160311 – Is That A Nissan Gas Guzzler? iPad Time With Jasper.

Posted on March 15, 2016 by admin

Friday – hot and sunny

iPad time with Papa.

Some real excitement for me as we swap the Hertzmobile. What a fiasco. Topping up with petrol is a nightmare as guage is inaccurate.

Kurt’s arrived home.

Get there and first car stinks of fags – rejected. 2nd is a Nissan with cracked bumper from collision – rejected. After a wait whilst they clean a big Dodge SUV they present us with this 7 seater SUV, a family of 10 could comfortably live in it. Wander around to inspect it and it seems that Dodge are so ashamed of their brand they have now started putting Nissan badges on the front of their cars. “Oh I’m sorry I’ve cleaned the wrong car” says the divvy from Hertz. By now we’ve lost the will to live and I even accept a Nissan.

Hal comes round in the afternoon and we have a productive meeting reviewing his web sites. Thankfully I’ve got this nerdy project to keep me occupied.

My Sick Humour

George Carlin – Political Correctness is fascism pretending to be Manners………………

https://youtube.com/watch?v=hkhUivqzWv0

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell – We want the truth. In defence of Donald Trump:

I know I rant on about the singularity but Google’s robotic arms are teaching themselves to do things and it’s terrifying:

For full article click here

Saturday – hot and sunny

Angela’s on crutches too.

Don’t you just love it when you’re in the shower, you close the body wash and it ejects a globule of soap straight into your eyeball, where it proceeds to burn my eyeball like an overdose of mustard gas.

A full day in for me working on Hal’s web site. Helps keep me sane.

Jasper plays with eggs and home made microwave.

Everyone else gets some exciting retail therapy with a trip to the supermarket. Thankfully I’m excluded now Fiona is here.

Carol and Angela pop round in the afternoon so Angela can show us her crutches. She’s sprained her ankle and is now copying me with crutches. Could have a crutch race but she’d beat me hands down.

In the evening Fiona helps me save a bottle of Merlot from premature oxidisation.

How nice it is to spend a family evening in. No TV. No eyes down glued to an iPhone. No iPads. Just sit, talk and be entertained by Jaspers antics.

My Sick Humour

A progressive guide to political correctness

Religion – Beyond Belief

Muslim Mastermind:

I don’t believe it.
Now I know they’re off their rocker. If brains were dynamite they wouldn’t have enough to blow their nose. It really is time to get out:

The EU and Turkey say they have agreed the broad principles of a plan to ease the migration crisis.
Under the plan discussed in Brussels, all migrants arriving in Greece from Turkey would be returned.
For each Syrian sent back, a Syrian already in Turkey would be resettled in the EU. Turkey would also get extra funding and progress on EU integration.

And to pile on the stupidity they’re paying Turkey billions of Euros. Pots for rags.

Sunday – Cool and cloudy

Jasper helps out. Papa watches on.

A full day in for me. Thankfully I’ve got Hal’s website to work on and keep me occupied. Brings out the nerd in me.

Wendy, Fiona and Jasper catch the bus into Main Street. Good isn’t it I hire a car to sit in the car park. Jasper lives going on the bus. They examine every shop on Main Street and then have lunch. Jasper gets a giant ice cream.

They walk back from town and then spend the first hour in comparing how many steps they’ve done, with Wendy thrusting her Fitbit under me nose in case I have the temerity to doubt the veracity of her step count.

Fiona’s excited we’re having pot roast, with Sunday vegetables for tea. The poor Americans daily fare.

A winter storms on the way in. Let’s hope it delivers the promised snow, we need it:

… WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 6 PM THIS EVENING TO 4 PM MDT TUESDAY FOR THE WASATCH AND WESTERN UINTA MOUNTAINS…  * SNOW TOTALS… 1 TO 3 FEET THROUGH TUESDAY.  * TIMING… DEVELOPING TONIGHT FROM NORTH TO SOUTH. THE NORTHERN WASATCH WILL SEE THE HIGHEST RATES BETWEEN MIDNIGHT AND NOON MONDAY… WHILE FURTHER SOUTH THE HIGHEST RATES WILL BE MONDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING.  * WINDS… GUSTING TO 50 MPH… WITH SOME RIDGELINES SEEING GUSTS TO 80 MPH.  * MAIN IMPACT… SIGNIFICANT BLOWING SNOW IS FORECAST TO CAUSE POOR VISIBILITIES. ALL MOUNTAIN ROUTES WILL BE SIGNIFICANTLY HAMPERED WITH ROAD SNOW. THOSE TRAVELING MONDAY MORNING SHOULD ALLOW EXTRA TIME FOR THE MONDAY COMMUTE. 

This may well be a joke but with the loons in the EU it could oh so easily be reality:

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”, Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”, making words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl vritin styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU!

Herr Schmidt

Google driverless car crashes into a passenger bus.

“Abandon it” goes up the cry from the luddites and macho petrol heads who even think automatics are just glorified dogems suitable only for pussies.

I think it can’t come quick enough. Ban car ownership and we can all bugle up a driverless car when we need it – bit like Uber – step inside and be driven wherever we want safely. When our journey is done the car serves someone else. Far fewer cars needed – no more legions of cars sitting in car parks or cluttering up the streets.

No more drunk, drug influenced or just routinely neglectful driving. No more learner drivers, driving tests, parking tickets or wardens, speeding, boy racing, aggressive manouevreing, road rage incidents, high speed police car chases, texting or phoning while driving, traffic lights, roundabouts, speed and traffic signs,speed bumps, general road clutter, Halfords, driving gloves. Far fewer accident and road deaths. No more ridiculous 200mph capable cars on our roads either. Final death of the petrolhead culture.

Sense at last! Bring it on. Just think how many lives will be saved to say nothing of fewer injuries.

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20160307 – Jasper Learns To Ski

Posted on March 12, 2016 by admin

Monday – hot and sunny

Jasper learns to ski. Click image to view video, then click blank screen.

Wow 6″ fresh powder. I’m excited. Hang on, why am I getting excited, these crutches get in the way so no skiing today.

Chris departs early for a flight to San Francisco.

Breakfast in bed again – Macaroni pudding and summer fruits.

Legs feeling so much better. Less acute pain and no need for those brain fuddling pain killers.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Goodbye to the first amendment:

Childish and Hypocritical

David Cameron and George Osborne suffered a major defeat in their bid to extend Sunday trading laws tonight as a larger-than-expected Tory rebellion voted down the plans.Ministers had scrambled to table new amendments in the Commons ahead of the crucial vote, but they were defeated by a majority of 31.
An estimated 26 Tory rebels consigned the Government to defeat over the proposals to give local councils the power to allow large stores to open for longer than the current six-hour limit on Sundays.

The SNP’s decision to oppose the plans, despite the proposed new laws having no direct effect in Scotland where shops are already allowed to open longer on Sundays, guaranteed the Government lost the vote.
Business minister Sajid Javd said he ‘respects’ those opposed to Sunday trading in principle but blasted the SNP’s opposition as ‘childish and hypocritical’. The Government claimed the party had previously offered their support.

What in the name of a soggy haggis and fried mars bar are we doing letting these bare arsed, tight wad, porridge munchers in skirts decide our policies. Time for a JOCKOUT vote in England. Only our PC correct bubble headed politicians could allow such stupidity. Heads need to roll. Time for some entertainment for the masses, with a Saturday afternoon Flavian Amphitheatre lion feeding extravaganza me thinks.

Tuesday – hot and sunny

Butties on the plaza.

Relaxing morning. Kurt and Fiona go off skiing. George and Helen have two buddy passes for them. Fiona skis with Helen and Kurt goes off with George.

The geriatric cripples get to look after Jasper. Then we go up to the plaza and meet the kids for lunch. They’re all sat in the sun eating butties.

Jasper then dons his skis and has a great session. He’s started to get the hang of skiing down on his own. A massive step forward. Despite a few falls he’s keen for more – see videos. Making real good progress.

Jasper the downhill racer. Click on image and then on the blank screen to see the video.

In the evening we’re off round to the Schmitts for an awesome traditional German dinner, and stunning cheese board.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Leak of IS Registration Forms Identifies 22,000 Jihadis:

Click image for Daily Mail article.

Publish them and be dammed. Then we’ll all know where the evil little barbarians are and can deal with them.

Wednesday – hot and sunny

Let’s make a snowman.

After researching femur surgery, as you do in the middle of the night, I’ve just released that my piece of meccano has actually been shoved down the Centre of my femur. When I study the X-rays they also confirm it. For the past year I’d always thought it was screwed to the side. Amazing that they can get it down the Centre. Wonder what they did with all the bone marrow it replaced, perhaps there’s a dog under the operating table having a great feast. No wonder it took 3 hours of surgery.

Wake up to it snowing and 4″ of awesome powder overnight.

The finished result.

Jasper goes out on golf course for a ski on the fresh snow, but it’s too slow for him. They all build a snowman, complete with carrot nose (just like them dam witches of Los Angeles), Oreo eyes and a Blackburn Rovers scarf. Kurts terrified someone will come and pinch the scarf – as if.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Bill Maher again on religion:

Being in the USA during an election year is certainly a challenge to your sanity. It goes on for so long I’m sure that once it’s time put your Monica on the ballot paper most electors are comatose or ready to slit their wrists.Just a flavour of what you can expect, with a bizarre tribute song to Trump performed by 3 Freedom kids:

The GOP debates are vicious. Worse than a load of 10 year old gutter snipes in a school yard scrap. Of course this year there’s the added entertainment value of Trump, but the thought that any of them could be President is more scary than ??

Now I’ve always been a fan a touch of outspoken eccentricity to liven things up but Trump even makes Corbyn look normal. Even Fox News has abandoned him and his own Republican Party just hate what they’ve spawned. Too late, it really looks like he’ll get the Republican nomination.

Here’s just a few of his outlandish statements:

1. “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud”
Trump was determined to “expose” President Obama’s birthplace back in 2012, and even claimed to have sent investigators to Hawaii in the hopes of proving Obama wasn’t born in the United States.
2. “Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!”
Clearly Donald is a Team Edward kind of guy…
3. “Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”
Trump always has charming things to say about successful, prominent women – but he stooped particularly low with this comment about Huffington Post founder.
4. “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”
Trump proves (again) that he views a woman’s looks over anything else…
6. “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
Oh for goodness sake.
7. “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”
Just another casually racial slur, then…
8. “Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”   Don’t worry, his racist outbursts aren’t just directed at Mexico.

Thursday – hot and sunny

Poor old snowman.

2″ fresh snow overnight.

Kurt says goodbye as he sets off to fly home.

Poor old snowman looking a bit the worse for climate change.

We all have a lazy morning, make some butties and take Jasper up to the mountain for a ski and lunch. Just as we pull into the car park and find a great parking place, he nods off to sleep.

Change of plan. Have lunch and a dirty chai on the plaza in the glorious sunshine. Jasper finally wakes up so we take him for a little ski. Has a couple of runs with Wendy and Fiona but then he’s had enough.

Call at Starbucks for a small lot coffee and Jasper gets his ski treat of a Mr Whippy ice cream. Wendy cruises the supermarket isles whilst I savour my coffee and do my blog.

Boy it’s oh so warm, like a summers day. Well I can think of worse places to convalesce Blackburn being high on that list.

Starbucks for Papas reward after skiing.

Fiona takes Jasper to the park in his red car. He loves it – see pictures.

Rather than pondering the “shit happens” statement, I need to remember the American words of wisdom “Shit happens, suck it up”.

A wise sage (Kurt) reminded me, early this morning, that at least “bones heal”. So true, at least its not permanent. There are so many worse off.

Jasper continues to make awesome progress on potty training, despite having a bright pink potty. Only one accident all week and not just his pees but he’s also asking to do poo’s too. Well done kid.

Seems like a bargain. $609 with buddy passes worth $200 for a whole season skiing. Assuming you survive the season.

Well I think we’ll be back next ski season. Gives me a clearly defined goal. Wendy’s idea is that I could just stay safe and stick to green runs. Hmm and I suppose I’ll have to avoid lifts and walk back up the mountain! I don’t think so. Perhaps it’s time for cross country skiing – too much like hard work.

“I don’t believe it”.

Seems like not only has Cameron gone to the EU with his begging bowl and asked for nothing, he’s then come back with even less than nothing. Can you believe it? But it also turns out that morsels offered him have no validity, in that the European Court of Justice can override what’s been offered. Not even worth ink used to print it.It’s a bit like sending a little lad to get the free bus pass you’re entitled to, and he comes back with an expensive season pass for a ski resort you never go to – pots for rags as they say.

Just a few more trumps:

9. “If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”
Trump has infamously hated on Rosie O’Donnell, making crude, sexist and misogynistic remarks about her on multiple occasions.  10. “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”   Because of course, no woman can resist Trump’s charms. [Throws up on keyboard]  11. “One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”
Well at least he’s showing some self awareness.
12. “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
And not that fabulous barnet of yours?
13. “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”
Definitely not missing the point…
14. “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Possibly (/definitely) one of the creepiest things we’ve ever heard…
15. “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”   Ew.
16. “I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”
We’re glad he’s so concerned about the obesity crisis.
17. “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”
Women aren’t possessions, Donald. They can’t belong to you.
18. “You’re disgusting.”
To put this into context, Donald Trump said this to the opposing lawyer during a court case when she asked for a medical break to pump breast milk for her three-month-old daughter.
19. “The point is, you can never be too greedy.”
Campaign slogan = sorted.

Jasper in red car.

20. “Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!”
In his Twitter liveblogging of the Democratic debate, Trump seemed to think he was watching a talent show rather than looking for the next POTUS.  21. “My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”
We think Donald may be overestimating the power of Twitter.   22. “My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”
Don’t worry, we won’t.   23. “I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
What does that even mean?  24. “The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs…How are they gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
Because sweating = the inability to solve a political crisis. Gotcha.   25. “Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio] referred to my hands: ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
Along with the petition to keep him out of the UK, can we also campaign for Trump to stop talking about his penis?

Religion – Beyond Belief

Well I used to be against banning the burka. But I do find it offensive and feel it’s a statement of defiance and discourages integration. Why it should be that you’re expected to remove your crash helmet and yet not your burka. Well we all know the answer to that, its the crazy progressive PC storm trooper brigade.Anyway I’ve had enough of Islam, ISIS and “it’s nothing to do with Islam” lefty PC apologists. So let’s ban the burka in public and start to regain our country:

Click image for Lancashire Evening Telegraph article.

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20160303 – Recovery Begins. Again.

Posted on March 7, 2016 by admin

Thursday – hot and sunny

Having shuffled upstairs on my arse I now have the painful prospect of getting back down. Pain is much worse than yesterday when I was reasonably mobile and even managed to get my skis back on.

Time for some of those stronger pain killers. No doubt they fuddle me brain like last time, and worse of all no alcohol, but if they reduce pain then I’ll live with it. Spoke with hospital and my surgeon from last year has examined X-rays and believes the meccano will do the job, just need to go for follow up X-ray in 2 weeks. Sounds like good news, no more surgery, but pain level is disconcerting.

Just so frustrating after great skiing progress these past 4 weeks. Worse of all I will not get to ski with Jasper (the next generation) or my star pupil (Fiona) and not forgetting Kurt – the speed King. I was so looking forward to that.

Amazing all the offers of help from neighbors we hardly know.

I think perhaps we could form the Park City Mountain Sports Cripples group, to my knowledge there’s at least 3 of us out of action. We could meet every Thursday and have wheelchair and crutch races. Develope a handicap scoring system and take it in turns to be group leader.

Spend the day in bed resting my spiral fracture.

More EU jokes:

My wife misunderstood my son when he asked for some Play-Doh for Christmas. She got him a load of euros.

Q: How do you know it’s going to be a double-dip recession? A: Greek exports of taramosalata and tzatziki have plunged.

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece. The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.  The Spaniard replied: ‘You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.’  The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek mayor’s house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs, it was marvellous.  When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Greek mayor said: ‘You see that bridge over there?’  The Spaniard replied: ‘No.’.

In heaven: the cooks are French, the policemen are English, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian, and the bankers are Swiss.  

In hell: the cooks are English, the policemen are German,  the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and the bankers are Italian.  

Breaking news: The eurozone financial crisis will soon be over as Greece has received an unconditional €100bn bailout offer.  All they have to do is email their account details to the anonymous daughter of wealthy, but deceased African general…

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell’s banned video on Arabic 6th century Sharia courts:

Friday – hot and sunny

Jasper skiing in the back garden.

Time to gird me loin and get up. It’s all about avoiding weight on my leg and certain painful position and movements. These Narco tablets do help but one wrong move is excruciating.
Shuffle down the stairs on my arse.

His first little schuss unaided.

Jasper dons his skis and goes for a slides around in the garden. He needs to learn to walk in them and slide down a little slope without falling. Important to get that sense of balance weight not too far forward or worse still too far back and they shoot from under you. He does very well and seems to get the hang of it. I hobble outside on my crutches to take some photos.

His potty training is going great, no accidents for days and soon there’ll be no more room on his bright pink potty for stars or stickers.

Wendy picks Angela up from school at lunch time and her and Jasper play well together until Carol picks her up in the evening. Jasper keeps going up to Angela and asking for a cuddle, very cute.

Chris arrives from San Diego. Come to see Kurt and get in some skiing.

Try a couple of glasses of wine with the Narco tablets and I seem to have survived. Mind you I can rely on Fiona to help drain a few bottles.

Now a philosophy rant.

The witches of Los Angeles. Best avoided on a chair lift. They have the manners and consideration of a desiccated wart hog. After striking their prey they stand there like a cheese at fourpence watching their prey struggle. Who said witch craft was dead?

WHY, WHY, WHY? I still can’t believe it:

The view from a blood wagon when towed 3 miles down the mountain on a sled. A tad bumpy, with snow in the face.

The view from a blood wagon when being towed 3 miles down the mountain on a sled. A tad bumpy, with snow in the face.

Why the same bone?

Why in that place at that time?

Why didn’t I listen to Wendy and not go for a ski lesson?

Why did I have to go for that “just one more run” down Assesment, just because the snow was awesome?

Why didn’t I catch another chair?

At least a different bone would have been a minor consolation, although probably worse. What I’m really gutted about is not being able to take Jasper skiing and to ski with my star pupil Fiona. I know it may sound perverse, but at least if I’d done it skiing, it would have been my own stupid lack of skill, then I think I’d feel better.

Enough of the gloom and doom. Lets look on the positive side.

A shortcut when there is an emergency.

If I hadn’t had my meccano in me leg then it would probably have been much worse.

I’ve got my family around me while I recover.

Jasper keeps me on my virtual toes and helps me retain my sanity.

Park City’s an awesome place to recover.

We’ve plenty of great friends around us.

I’m well experienced with crutches and have a 5 star cripple mobility rating.

I had 4 awesome weeks skiing – more than most people get in a year.

And finally there are billions of people in a worse position.

So shape up, stop feeling sorry for myself and be thankful.

Wrong place, at the wrong time and shit happens.

Really big question. Will I ski again next year? Is this a sign? Don’t be ridiculous. Need some PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).

Saturday – hot and sunny

Jasper off to the park in his car.

Breakfast in bed. Shuffle down the stairs on my arse. Perhaps I could get one of those trays and do the luge down the stairs.

Kurt and Chris are off skiing – not that I’m in the least bit envious!

Another relaxing day working on my website and trying to regain my sanity.

Wendy, Fiona and Jasper go shopping. Now there’s a surprise. Then in the afternoon they go round to the park, Jasper drives his little red car round.

I want a go too.

At night Chris and Kurt go out on the town, down the bars on Main Street.

My Sick Humour

Sunday – rain in the town, hopefully snow on the mountain

Macaroni pudding courtesy of Fiona.

Breakfast in bed watching the rain erode away all the snow on the golf course. Sad.

Hal and Angela pop round to see the cripple.

Kurt, Fiona and Chris catch the free bus down to Kimble junction whilst we baby sit Jasper. Just pure energy and go, no chance of him having an afternoon nap.

Well Chris likes it.

The kids have a Five guys, now there’s a surprise.

Being Sunday there’s vegetables on the table for tea along with beef bourgeoune. Fiona makes me Macaroni pudding for tea. She’s a good en. Well at least Chris seems to like it. Mind you the fewer that like it the more left over for me. This one should keep me going for two days. Sheer luxury.

Fiona helps out with the wine. Don’t want It oxidizing.

Well it seems that there’s at least one advantage to breaking your femur, it increase my blog hit to over 45 in a day. Nearly a record.

Jasper’s goosed by evening and willingly saunters off to bed. We all watch a Netflix film in the evening.

European paradise joke :

You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by an Englishman. Food is prepared by a Frenchman and an Italian puts you in the mood and everything is organised by a German.
European hell:
You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by a Frenchman. Food is prepared by an Englishman, German puts you in the mood but, don’t worry, everything is organised by an Italian.

That joke was proposed by a Belgian as the Official European Joke, the joke that every single European pupil should learn at school. The Joke will improve the relationship between the nations as well as promote our self humour and our culture.
The European Council met in order to make a decision. Should the joke be the Official European Joke or not?
The British representative announced, with a very serious face and without moving his jaw, that the joke was absolutely hilarious.
The French one protested because France was depicted in a bad way in the joke. He explained that a joke cannot be funny if it is against France.
Poland also protested because they were not depicted in the joke.
Luxembourg asked who would hold the copyright on the joke. The Swedish representative didn’t say a word, but looked at everyone with a twisted smile.
Denmark asked where the explicit sexual reference was. If it is a joke, there should be one, shouldn’t there?
Deck chairs Holland didn’t get the joke, while Portugal didn’t understand what a « joke » was. Was it a new concept?
Spain explained that the joke is funny only if you know that the lunch was at 13h, which is normally breakfast time. Greece complained that they were not aware of that lunch, that they missed an occasion to have some free food, that they were always forgotten. Romania then asked what a « lunch » was.
Lithuania et Latvia complained that their translations were inverted, which is unacceptable even if it happens all the time. Slovenia told them that its own translation was completely forgotten and that they do not make a fuss. Slovakia announced that, unless the joke was about a little duck and a plumber, there was a mistake in their translation. The British representative said that the duck and plumber story seemed very funny too.
Hungary had not finished reading the 120 pages of its own translation yet.
Then, the Belgian representative asked if the Belgian who proposed the joke was a Dutch speaking or a French speaking Belgian. Because, in one case, he would of course support a compatriot but, in the other case, he would have to refuse it, regardless of the quality of the joke.
To close the meeting, the German representative announced that it was nice to have the debate here in Brussels but that, now, they all had to make the train to Strasbourg in order to take a decision. He asked that someone to wake up the Italian, so as not to miss the train, so they can come back to Brussels and announce the decision to the press before the end of the day.
« What decision? » asked the Irish representative.
And they all agreed it was time for some coffee.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Islam let’s pray 50 times a day:

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20160229 – Oh No Not Again! Deja Vue?

Posted on March 3, 2016 by admin

Monday – cold and cloudy
Kids are up before crack o sparrows. Jasper full of beans.

Early morning commute.

I set off for a spring skiing day. What a cock up decision wearing my spring skiing gear, it was colder than a witches titty in a brass bra doing push ups in the snow. Snow’s in great condition with the cold. flat light makes skiing interesting. Get 8 runs in and a coffee before quitting, I’m freezing to death.

Quiet afternoon as the rest of them are out shopping. Oh how sorry I am to miss it.

Fiona manages to demolish a bottle of Zinfandel with some help from me. Well it’d be a sin to have someone drink on their own.

Tuesday – hot and sunny

Jasper makes his debut this season.

Up and out early for the kids first day skiing. Luxury drive up, complete with all Jaspers ski gear.

Have a few runs. Kurt goes off for a more challenging run. I ski with Fiona, and no she’s not forgotten how to ski. Move onto the blue runs and she’s doing fine, a star pupil. Bump into George and Helen so Kurt goes off with George while Helen joins Fiona and I. Have a good mornings skiing. Fiona’s doing great and really bombing down all them blues.

Family ski day.

Wendy brings Jasper up on the bus, in the hope he’ll have a little sleep, no chance. All meet up for lunch. Kurts had a crash. Going fast, hit some moguls and went arse over tip a few times – sounds familiar. Fortunately he’s survived although his knees hurting and he’s got some whiplash.

Jasper gets geared up and makes his debut on the nursery slope. Gets a few runs in before chocolate and ice cream rewards to ensure he’s motivated. He loves it. Skis between his dad’s legs which is murder on your back.

2 year old downhill racer. The next generation.

Kurt calls it a day and goes home with Wendy and Jasper, while Fiona’s ready for more so we go back up and get a few more runs in.

Home for coffee then nip down to Walmart to buy Jasper a potty. Only choice is big pink one, but he seems to like it, and soon christens it to great applause.

Early night all round everyone’s knackerred apart from Wendy.

Wednesday – cold and sunny
https://www.facebook.com/tony.w.edwards/posts/10156673177260249:1?pnref=story

Well it was Super Tuesday – 11 states vote for their candidate – and the bafoon now seems to be certain of the Republican nomination. We certainly live in interesting times in England we have that red commy Corbyn and here they have Trump. Ok America, a joke’s a joke but it’s gone too far now and it’s getting scary. Please stop.

My star pupil.

Up and out for 09:00 to attend a carving course with the ski club. Spend a great morning learning to carve, well trying to. Conditions are great blue bird day with 2″ fresh snow. Finish course at lunch time and can’t resist a quick run down Assesment before heading home.

Catch Silver Load back to summit and the disaster strikes yet again. Getting off the lift and women next to me somehow manages to stomp on my right ski. I’m spun round and end upside down under the chair, legs akimbo like a women in birthing stirrups. In agony from right femur, yes the dodgy one. Lift stops lift and takes my skis off. I manage to crawl out of the way. Meanwhile women and the other 4 witches of Los Anglas look on, never even have the courtesy to apologise.

Jasper on the magic carpet.

Right leg does not feel good but manage to get my skis back on ready for a 3 mile run back down. No way I’m going to be able to ski so get ski patrol to take me down in a sled – oh no not again.

Check into clinic at bottom. Produce credit card. Get X rayed. Doctor is confused with the mess of new bone growth at top of my femur. Looks like I’ve got a partial spiral fracture of the femur. Oh joy. My piece of meccano seems to have stopped a complete break. Ironic if I hadn’t had the meccano in place from last year it might have been much worse.

Jasper makes his toy pizza.

Sent home with some crutches and pain killers; put no weight on it; make an appointment to see surgeon from last year. The doctor thinks the meccano will do the job and keep it secure while the bone heals.

Bugger, bugger, bugger. It’s bad enough, but at least if I’d been skiing and it was down to my lack of skill, it would somehow be better. To have it happen through no fault of your own is infuriating. Dam the 5 witches of Los Angeles.

After 50 weeks of hard slog I’m back to square one. On crutches. No pain when static, just when I move.

Having made his pizza he disappears into the kitchen to put it into microwave. Smart cookie.

These last 4 weeks had done wonders for my leg. It really was feeling on top form and skiing was picking up back to normal – it’s all a mind game.

Oh well shit happens.

Helen and George come round for dinner. Already the jungle drums have been sounding and most of our ski club friends know about it.

Spicy nachos – courtesy of Hal’s recipe – for starters.

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20160226 – Jasper Arrives, Is He Virgin Atlantic’s Youngest Pilot?

Posted on February 29, 2016 by admin

Friday – hot and sunny
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156656573355249&set=a.10153673070225249.1073741845.621375248&type=3&theater

Another blue bird day. Ski with Helen and others over at the Canyons. Sadly by 14:00 we’re skiing on a slush puppy it’s too warm. However snow over at Park City doesn’t seem as bad. No doubt about it, Park City is so much better.

Well the great BREXIT debate has started. Will we ever get the objective facts on which to make an informed decision? Will most people bother?

As it stands I’m all for getting off the sinking ship and starting to put the GREAT back into Britain, but I wait to be convinced otherwise.

In the spirit of those great ranters like Victor Meldrew, Pat Condell, Jeremy Clarkson and George Carlin I start a separate section on my blog for EU rants and jokes. Sadly my rants will be nowhere near as eloquent or vitriolic as those greats.

Let’s start off with two subtle but classic EU jokes:

We shouldn’t go on saying that we are ‘giving’ our Sovereignty away; we are actually paying Brussels tens of billions of pounds a year to take it.

If the EU applied to join itself, it wouldn’t have a hope of being accepted, given its clear lack of democracy (the ‘democratic deficit’ in Eurospeak).

Sadly both are too true.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Wake up, this is an absolute disgrace. How have we ever been dhimi enough to let this come about? How are we so PC stupid as to let these courts continue:

http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/news/uk_news/Crime/article1672846.ece

Saturday – hot and sunny
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156661539160249&set=a.10150340074490249.575311.621375248&type=3&theater

No skiing today. I make the supreme sacrifice in order to pick the Hertzmobile up – a nice RAV4, it had better snow over Sunday night now I’ve splashed out on a 4WD SUV? Go with Wendy down to Costco. Manage to get a kids safety gate for the vast sum of $5 from the Christian Aid Centre. Amazing what you can get, including some great kids toys for a few dollars, and it all goes to a great cause.

Costco is dire. I’m sure most people come here to graze the samples for a free lunch. Wendy enjoys herself rummaging amongs the meats, whilst I struggle to remain sane and awake. Must bring ear pods next time.

For tea we have a great pastrami and corn beef on rye from the Pickle Jar, a traditional New York deli.

My Sick Humour

Regan versus Obama on socialism:

Not that the EU is a barrel of laughs but at least Some EU Humour makes it less abysmal:

A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese go into a bar and order a drink. Who picks up the bill?  A German.

  The Eurozone credit ratings are like a frying pan. Greece at the bottom…

  Oh dear. The eurozone’s Facebook page has changed its currency status from ‘single’ to ‘it’s complicated’.

  NEWS FLASH: Greece has approached the IMF for a €60bn loan after they were turned down by Wonga  .

The eurozone leaders are looking for a stimulus package. Silvio Berlusconi suggests two Viagra and a Red Bull.

Sunday – hot and sunny

Part of my daily commute. Beats working for a living.

Another blue bird day so up and on the lifts for 09:00. Even though we’ve got a car I catch the bus, it’s so much easier.

Planned on a lazy mornings skiing. Bump into Helen & Geoorge so have a good mornings skiing with Helen, along with a dirty chai coffee break. A tad busy but we manage to avoid the busy areas.

Quit at lunch time and yet another afternoon in a supermarket.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156665281730249&set=a.10150340074490249.575311.621375248&type=3&theater

Is that Virgin Atlantics new Pilot?

Drive down to Salt Lake to pick the kids up from their Delta flight. Drive down the mountain is treacherous at night, lane markings are non existent. Thankfully their flight isnot only on time but early. Just drive into park and wait a couple of minutes and get a text to say they’ve got luggage and ready. All tired but Jaspers been a star traveller – well behaved.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156662952555249&set=a.10153673070225249.1073741845.621375248&type=3&theater

I’ve just watched a few youtubes on Farage’s performance in the European Parliament and I have to say he has gone up several notches in my estimation. He certainly doesn’t mince words and I’m sure he’s vehemently hated by the EU bureaucrats, so that’s another plus point in his favour.

On a more serious EU note an interesting report on the benefits, well lack thereof, of being in the EU:

http://www.globalbritain.co.uk/sites/default/files/publications/WhatisthePointJAN05.pdf

How to insult a progressive by Pat Condell:

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20160222 – Where’s My Blue Pinstripe Suit, White Shirt And Tie?

Posted on February 27, 2016 by admin

Monday – Cool, low cloud and snowing

The new gondola linking Park City to the Canyons.

Yeah, snow forecast for all day, although not much of an accumulation predicted. Never mind, all Chione’s bounty is greatly appreciated.

Out for a mornings skiing. Now I can and will gladly ski in snow, cold, high winds and even rain, but I just can’t cope with a white out. For the none skiers in my audience that’s when there’s low cloud or really heavy snowing. Either way you can’t see where your going; any of the bumps; have no sense of what is vertical. It’s terrifying. Everyone just slows down. Get a couple of runs in but it’s so disorientating I give up for the day.

Local sports Centre just 5 minutes away. Complete with piano outside and it’s not vandalized. Ideal place to go in case you’ve not burnt off enough energy on the slopes.

Hal picks me up after lunch for a web design meeting. Wot without a blue pinstripe suit, white shirt and tie! American style jeans and jumper all very informal. Real nerdy meeting agreeing final,changes to his web site before they hand it over to us. Seems an age since I had to do any serious work, but really enjoyed it. Fortunately his site is all in WordPress with HTML, very nerdy. Looking forward to finalising his site and doing a new one for him – once a nerd always a nerd. Then I’ll probably get around to redoing my own website.

Now this is the sort of politician we want battling for a deal in Europe, not some little public schoolboy. Nigel Farage in action, saying it as it is:

I bet they all just hate him.

My Sick Humour

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. State takes one and give it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and gives you milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and sell you milk.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
EUROPEAN FEDERALISM: You have two cows which you cannot afford to keep because of milk imported from a member state with cheaper labour. So you apply for financial aid from the European Union to subsidise your cows and are granted enough to carry on working them. You then sell your milk at the original high price to some government-owned distributor which then dumps your milk onto the market at the price that drove you to subsidies to make Europe competitive.”

Tuesday – cold and sunny
4″ fresh snow so a great blue bird days skiing with Helen. A tad on the cool side but keeps the snow in good condition.

Miss out on tipsy Tuesday.

Virgin Atlantic – the Weasel airline.

Blue bird skiing. It’s like a spring day.

When I was a lad, a few aeons ago, America was just over 3,000 miles away from the UK. Now, according to the weasels in Virgin Atlantic it seems to be about 30,000 miles away. What has caused this dramatic shift? It seems that either the tectonic plates are shifting apart faster than a modern jet or could it be that the weasels in Virgin Atlantic’s marketing department are trying to con us. Yes, a trip,to America with your Weasel Atlantic’s “air miles” requires about 30,000 “air miles”. A more honest approach might be to call them “air furlongs” – youngster will need to wiki this archaic measure – or perhaps even “air metres”.

Equally amazing in the deception and trickery, is that when it comes to acquiring “air miles” America is suddenly a mere 3,000 miles away. It’s only when you come to spend them they distort to “air furlongs”. If only Einstein was alive to help us comprehend this distortion in the fabric of the space time continuum.

Who do they think they are kidding, “air miles” my foot. Perhaps it’s time the trading standards organisation prosecuted them for blatant trades description violation.

Meanwhile it’s about time they were forceably made to change their name from “Virgin Atlantic” to “Weasels Atlantic” with a weasel logo on their tail plane. More tales of “Weasel Atlantic” deception and chicanery in tomorrow’s rant.

Wednesday – hot and sunny
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156656573355249&set=a.10153673070225249.1073741845.621375248&type=3&theater

Ski with Helens group, just 3 of us. A pretty full day but not as many runs as yesterday.

Get back a tad late and get moaned at. How unusual is that. To redeem myself Go for a stroll around the neighborhood.

Jere and Diane come round for dinner. Great food, great company and plenty of wine.

Spring skiing gear.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the tooth fairy. Well here in Park City they have the nose fairy. It comes to my bed every night if I blew my nose that day, irrespective of whether I’ve been good or bad, or whether I’m drunk or sober. Does it leave me sixpence or a dollar on my pillow. Does it eck as like. No instead it quietly and imperceptibly shoves shards of broken glass up my nose so that when I wake, for the inevitable geriatrics meander to the toilet, I’m in agony.

Oh the joys of this dry mountain air that turn your nasal blood vessels brittle.

Yesterday I ranted at great length on “Weasel Atlantic” and their “Air furlongs”. Today it’s time to explore more chicanery from the greedy weasels of their marketing department.

So you have 70,000 “air miles” and they’re about as much use as a plane without an undercarriage. Why? Because whatever flight you come to use them on, no matter how early you try and book, there’s no seats. Yet, go online and there’s plenty of seats available. Now a cynical person, not me of course, might think that there’s only ever one seat per flight available for use with your “air miles”.

Another example of the conniving and skullduggery from the weasels in the marketing department.

Thursday – hot and sunny

Kings Crown an amazing ski run.

After two full days skiing I have a lie in and a lazy days skiing. Just get 6 runs and some coffee in.

Wendy’s gone out with Helen to get some retail therapy and lunch.

Wendy’s seen some “nice” boots but had them put aside while she sees what I think.

Wendy: “Do you like them?”
Tony: “No” – Being an honest sole.
Wendy: “Why not?”
Tony: “Black rubber on them looks awful.”

And the moral of that is – honesty is not always the best policy. But I’ll keep being a George Washington – who was not the first president of the USA.

Well so far we’ve explored two of the “air miles” dodges from the “weasel Atlantic” airline. Now for the final rip off. As we’ve already established the chances of being able to use your air miles for a flight is about as likely as ISIS organizing a gay pride march.

Lazy way home down Blanche – such an elegant easy run for perfect carved turns.

I know we’ll use them to upgrade from cattle class to either premium economy or even upper class.

A cattle class flight to Atlanta is about £600, so we phone up to discuss upgrade to Premium economy. “Oh yes sir you’ve enough air miles for premium economy (about 20,000 I seem to recall) or even upper class”. Wow at last we can get some benefit from our 70,000 “air miles”. Hang on though the marketing weasels have been at it again. Not only is it 20,000 “air miles” but your £600 ticket is not eligible, you’ll have to buy a £900 ticket plus the 20,000.

Yet again “air miles” are a complete rip off and waste of time.

Well done Richard – I realise I might as well chalk pentagrams and stroke my toad, but at least I’ve got it of my chest – what an empire of weasels you’ve built. Your front line staff are excellent, let down by the rampant greed and deviousness from the weasels in marketing and back offices. Time to have a few heads rolling and feed some weasels to the lions. Replace them with some front line staff who have such excellent customer care skills.

My Sick Humour

Think UK politics is a farce then watch this American Republican Party so called debate. A vicious slanging match worse than you’d get from any gutter snipes or kids in the playground:

The American public judge Trump to be the winner of the debate by over 79%, but can anyone seriously consider him as president? Well it certainly looks like he’ll be the Republican nominee. Worrying or refreshing?

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell on Obama’s ‘Dhimmi’ refusal to speak out against the persecution of Christians in the Arab world since the revolution:

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20160219 – Lazy Ski Days

Posted on February 22, 2016 by admin

Friday – warm and sunny
Yet another bluebird day.

Early morning commute.

Up early and ski Park City. With yesterday’s storm closing all the lifts; it being the last day of Presidents week; 10″ of fresh powder overnight it’s as crowded as a stoning in Iran. Never seen it this crowded.

Awesome grooming. Perfect corduroy.

In the evening Jere and Diane pick us up and take us down to the TGIF at the Jeremy Ranch golf club. Have a pleasant evening with PCMSC. Some excellent wine, glasses you could drown in. Food at the golf club not that appealing so we go out for dinner with Jere and Diane. Great wine, good food and great company.

A drunken end to another awesome day here in paradise.

My Sick Humour

I see Cameron’s been over to Europe with his begging bowl. He asked for nowt and got even less. Just a bowl of thin gruel.

Religion – Beyond Belief

20160215 – Is A Severe Dose of Donald Trump Needed Here?

Posted on February 21, 2016 by admin

Monday – grey, cloudy, some rain / sleet lower down and cold
Another great day skiing. A tad busy due to Presidents’ Day. I quit at lunch time as my knee is feeling it from yesterday at Deer Valley.

Our roomy lounge with awesome views over the bridge, hills and golf course.

Thought I’d add some photos of our home for the next 3 months

My Sick Humour

10 really deep binary computer jokes, probably only appreciated by real nerds:

Lounge

An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

Email me if you need an explanation.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Bill Maher, is ISIS Islamic?

Is the Pope a Catholic!

Tuesday – warm and sunny
https://www.facebook.com/tony.w.edwards/posts/10156621751170249?pnref=story

Master bedroom complete with en-suite.

2nd bedroom.

At long last it seems that some common sense is being applied. The search is on for an alternative to password hell, with a simple but secure alternative. The sooner the better.

The creators of the Web are working on a way to kill passwords

Wednesday – grey and cloudy

Dinning room.

Great morning skiing. Took it easy after the full, record breaking, day yesterday.

In the evening we go round to Hal & Carols for dinner, a great Raclet, very socialable and entertaining.

https://www.facebook.com/tony.w.edwards/posts/10156627315325249?pnref=story

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell on Sharia law:

Thursday – Winter storm day

Gale force winds even knock over ski racks. But why are they bothering to pick up snowboards?

Early start to the day. First on the lift in the rain and sleet Why do it? There’s something quite magical about being out in the pouring snow and howling gale, when you’re warm, snug and dry in your ski gear.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156627628240249&set=a.10150340074490249.575311.621375248&type=3&theater

Compact – small – kitchen. Thankfully only room for one.

In the evening we go into Main Street for dinner. First time this trip. Would you believe that two thirds of the restaurants are closed. Why you might ask? Well apparently there was a power cut in the morning so the lazy ones just used it as an excuse not to open. Whatever happened to American enterprise. My money’s on the open restaurants being the owner operated ones, while the closed ones were the managed places.

Give up in despair, every where that bothered to open is full to the gunnels.

3rd bedroom.

Never mind we’ll go back home and order a take away to be delivered. We’ve a menu from one of the Mexican restaurants. Can you believe the menu doesn’t even tell us the name of the restaurant or the telephone number. I don’t believe it. What marketing genius produced this? Better not order from these numpties, if that’s the level of intelligence and common sense, one dreads to think what the food would be like.

Phone another place. No we don’t do deliveries. How unenterprising. No they don’t deliver themselves, but there is a delivery service that uses them, wouldn’t you think they’d have given us that phone number. Same at another place.

Finally find a food delivery company. By now I’ve lost the will to live. Place the order. That in itself was an exercise in futility and frustration. Try to get an estimate on delivery cost is like trying to communicate with a scum-boarder writhing and gyrating under the beat of his giant headphones.

Food finally arrives, with a $5 delivery charge, pretty reasonable.

Next time we’ll use one of these online ordering places. Anything rather than go through that sort of mind numbing conversation, enough to get anyone ready to slit their wrists and ring the Samaritans.

What in the name of the mighty dollar has happened to American enterprise. Have they all got fat and lazy, with as much common sense and enterprise as a dim witted French union leader? Perhaps this country needs a severe dose of Donald Trump’s brand of enterprise and drive – heaven forbid.

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20160212 – Some Snow At Last

Posted on February 16, 2016 by admin

Friday – hot and sunny
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156607299130249&set=a.10154674346625249.1073741850.621375248&type=3&theater

Skied with two ladies, Helen and Sheri, as the token male – always come in useful for raising and lowering the bar – an awesome days skiing. Best so far.

Blue sky day. Again.

Stop at Kristy’s, or whatever they now call it, for a dirty Chai. Got a hearty greeting from Eva, she’s responsible for my obsession with dirty Chai, having introduced me to it a couple of years ago. As result we’re now on the edge of bankruptcy and I’m sure she’s got shares in Starbucks. Great to see her after almost a year.

Then Helen and I venture for a few more runs. This year Kings Crown is open, no longer a storage for giant snow kickers. What an awesome run it is. Amazing once we’re out of the Silverload area the crowds just evaporite away.

Chione goddess of winter and snow – a tasty morsel.

Time to offer up a few prayers to Chione, goddess of winter and snow, as well as a tasty piece of eye candy. Also prayers go out to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I’m covering all bases.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell on dumbing down university:

My Sick Humour

George Carlin on football versus baseball:

Pathetic. Couldn’t even negotiate a good deal on a free bus pass.

Saturday – hot and sunny

Silver Lake lodge at Deer Valley.

Another blue bird skiing morning.

Then in the afternoon we both venture down to Kimbal junction for some shopping, free bread samples at the bread shop and some great granola, just a tad expensive and fattening.

Try the new burrito place FreeBird, where you make your own burrito, just like subway. Awesome burrito with load of jalapeños.

My Sick Humour

Dave Allen on getting old:

Religion – Beyond Belief

The sound of Muslims:

Sunday – hot and sunny
Yeah it’s snowing. Up and out early to Deer Valley as I’m blacked out on my Park City locals pass.

Deer Valley and fresh powder.

Have a hard mornings skiing. All that fresh powders making it mogully and tough skiing. There’s some serious ice under this powder, worse than PC. A couple of white outs when you just can’t see the contours. By lunch time my knees feeling the strain. But bring on the snow, a really welcome change after all those blue bird Spring skiing days.

Ski until 16:00, my knees cream crackered. A bit difficult to understand why my floppy knees the problem, yet my thigh and hips are ok. Perhaps I need a new knee.

A great days skiing but nowhere near the distance or altitude skied on Friday.

My Sick Humour

George Carlin on Stuff:

Religion – Beyond Belief

I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against building more mosques.

I think it should be the goal of us ALL to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to each new mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, “The Turban Cowboy,” and the other, a topless bar, would be called “You Mecca Me Hot.

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs.
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called “Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret,” with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods, and on the other side a liquor store called Morehammered.

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.

So much for the so called “moderate Muslim”:

Muslims are boycotting the country’s key anti-radicalisation programme, The Times can disclose, after it emerged that less than a tenth of extremism tip-offs were coming directly from the community or faith leaders.

The situation in the U.S. is little different, as the Hamas-linked Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), the media’s go-to group for all things Muslim, advises its members not to cooperate with counter-terror investigations: a California chapter distributed a poster telling Muslims not to talk to the FBI, and a Florida chapter distributed pamphlets with the same message.

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20160208 – Can I Ski Those Blue Runs? Or Am I Condemmed To The Easy Greens?

Posted on February 13, 2016 by admin

Monday – cool and sunny
Lie in after such a late night.

On the slopes by 10:00 for another cool blue bird day.

After lunch I get home to try running some diagnostics on my sick Mac Book. It must be a hardware issue as I’ve done a clean install. Finally get an error code out of it. Seems a sensor is playing up. Will have to take it into Simply Mac tomorrow for a fix. Can feel a dollar panic attack coming on.

My Sick Humour

If Trump were president:

https://www.facebook.com/PeacehouseUS/?fref=photo

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell, we want the truth:

David Cameron argued that voting for a Brexit would result in migrant camps such as “the Jungle” in Calais moving to southern England.

What a fudge he’s come back with. He’s not capable of negotiating a free bus pass.

The Prime Minister said that a “huge number” of asylum seekers could come to Britain “overnight” because France would pull out of current border arrangements in the aftermath of an EU exit.

France on Monday night said it would not pull out of its border arrangements with the UK even in the event of Britain voting to leave the European Union.

Ok so let’s imagine the frog munchers tear up the Le Touquet treaty. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve done something to spite is.

Surely if we had politicians with some guts and imagination we could come up with effective Cartoon by David Simonds. Cameron prepares for an in/out referendum on Europe. solutions. Just some random thoughts, immigration on board ships / train barring boarding or expelling; even close the tunnel; a ship in Dover waiting for any illegals, dump them on it and when it’s full ship them off to somewhere undesirable, the message would soon get back that we mean business; massive fines or jail for anyone found with an illegal in their vehicle.

And if all else fails, yes a miserable holding camp right in the middle of the southern softy middle class bed wetters stockbroker belt – payback to the bankers. Make sure the conditions in the camp are dire and ship them out within days to somewhere undesirable. No appeals, they’re illegal.

Of course, then there’s the retaliation option. I’m sure with even limited creativity and brain power we could come up with some retaliatory bargaining chip.

Tuesday – too warm and sunny. Really being cruel to the snow.
https://www.facebook.com/tony.w.edwards/posts/10156597064755249?pnref=story
Up and out for a 09:00 start. Another cool blue bird day. Time to notch up the number of runs. Really enjoying those long, non stop runs, with a thigh burn towards the end.

Numeracy skills seem to be somewhat lacking here Lift take 2, 4 or 6 people. Amazing how taxing that can be for some people in the lift lines to work out. Jasper will have to show them how.

Well just experienced the ski lift ride from hell. Usually they’re a pleasant experience with friendly Americans, by the time you reach the top you’ve heard about all their operations; who they voted for; how much of an idiot they think the current president is, even if they voted for him. For this ride I was sat next to the gobby women from hell. I thought she had a megaphone aimed right into my left ear but no it was just her normal voice. My left ear still feels like I’ve had a mortar round land next to it.

Wow free chocolate chip ice cream in the Miners Camp, mind you coffee is £3.50.

Meet Wendy at the Baja Cantina for the Tipsy Tuesday for the Park City Mountain Sports Club (hereafter referred to as PCMSC) apres ski with cheap margaritas, if you’re into them. Catch up with Helen and George after a year.

Seems like Simply Mac have fixed my poorly MacBook. They say it was software and have re-installed the latest OpSys. Couldn’t find any hardware fault, whereas I consistently got a sensor error on Apple’s own hardware test (AHT). I too had done a clean install. Whilst I hope they have fixed it I’m not too convinced they’ve really fixed it.

Snowboarder literacy rates seem to be a real safety hazard. They’re only expected to comprehend a simple 4 letter word, but no chance. The word is SLOW. For those few knuckle draggers that can read, they obviously don’t think it applies to them, they’re so good they can ignore the SLOW signs. Perhaps safety patrols armed with harpoons might be the answer. Then they can reel them in and confiscate their pass.

Then there are the really taxing signs with long words like ALTERNATE on them. Used at the confluence of two lines. Again obviously doesn’t apply to your average retarded knuckle dragger on a scum board.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Quran gangbang episode 1 – new recruits:

Wednesday – too hot and sunny
Another early start. Another blue bird day. On slopes for 09:00. Meet the PCMSC at Miners Camp. Then spend a great morning skiing with Helen’s blue / green group. Yes I graduate onto blues after some cautious days on the green runs. YEAH, I CAN SKI BLUES OK. A tad more taxing and I’m certainly not as fast as I used to be, but I doing ok. Awesome. Great mornings skiing with Helens group, get 13 runs in.

After lunch catch the bus down to Kimble and pick up my sick MacBook from Simply Mac. They say they’ve fixed it. Say it was software. I don’t believe it was software and don’t believe they’ve fixed it as they’ve only erased the disc and done a clean install like I did. But we’ll see.

Wander over to Starbucks for a coffee while I stress test my MacBook. Yep, I’m right again. Sadly it’s still not fixed. Thankfully I trusted my own experience and instincts. Walk back over to Simply Mac to break the bad news to them. Seems it’s now beyond their capabilities so they have to send it off to Apple. Sounds like it could need a new logic board at a heart stopping $409. Still cheaper than a new MacBook, hopefully it’ll last me a few more years but if worse comes to worse I can still sell it for at least $600, so will be $200 better off than scrapping it.

In the evening drop off through silent witness by 20:00. Totally cream crackered after an awesome day and best of all I’ve moved up a notch to blue runs.

My Sick Humour

I thought Corbyn was bat shit crazy, but this guy is an ideal replacement:

A Labour councillor has claimed he has fathered a child with an alien and that the regular sex he has with the extra terrestrial is causing tension in his human marriage.

Simon Parkes, who represents Stakesby on Whitby Town Council, told the Northern Echo he has had a child called Zarka with an alien he refers to as the Cat Queen.

The driving instructor, who has three children with his human wife, said the intercourse with the alien happens about four times a year. I hope he practices safe sex, you just don’t know what sort of poses these aliens are infested with.

“What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth,” he said. The Labour politician has also claimed he was abducted by extra-terrestrials as a child and that his “real mother” is a 9ft tall alien with eight fingers.

He speaks of his first encounter which occurred while he in the womb, then tells of a being which appeared by his cot when he was six-months-old and reached out to him with “these two green ‘stick things, like beanpoles’.”

He continued: “I thought, ‘they’re not mummy’s hands, mummy’s hands are pink’, and mummy has thumbs. These are green and pointed and there’s four of them.’
“I was looking straight into its face. It enters my mind through my eyes and it sends a message down my optic nerve into my brain, saying ‘I am your real mother, I am your more important mother’.”

Thursday – hot and sunny
Up and out for 09:00 and another blue bird day. Get a few runs in and then meet Hal for coffee at Miners Camp. Spend the rest of the morning skiing with Hal. Bail out at lunch to meet Wendy back at house.

After lunch we have a walk into Starbucks, browse the ski shops and then I get the excitement of being shopping cart driver in the supermarket. Just what I need, some more exercise. By end of the afternoon I’m feeling pretty knackered. Fortunately bump into Hal and Angela so get a welcome lift home.

After 101 year scientists discover gravitational waves. Einstein was right:

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/science/article4688431.ece