20160303 – Recovery Begins. Again.

Thursday – hot and sunny

imageHaving shuffled upstairs on my arse I now have the painful prospect of getting back down. Pain is much worse than yesterday when I was reasonably mobile and even managed to get my skis back on.

imageTime for some of those stronger pain killers. No doubt they fuddle me brain like last time, and worse of all no alcohol, but if they reduce pain then I’ll live with it. Spoke with hospital and my surgeon from last year has examined X-rays and believes the meccano will do the job, just need to go for follow up X-ray in 2 weeks. Sounds like good news, no more surgery, but pain level is disconcerting.

Just so frustrating after great skiing progress these past 4 weeks. Worse of all I will not get to ski with Jasper (the next generation) or my star pupil (Fiona) and not forgetting Kurt – the speed King. I was so looking forward to that.

imageAmazing all the offers of help from neighbors we hardly know.

I think perhaps we could form the Park City Mountain Sports Cripples group, to my knowledge there’s at least 3 of us out of action. We could meet every Thursday and have wheelchair and crutch races. Develope a handicap scoring system and take it in turns to be group leader.

Spend the day in bed resting my spiral fracture.

More EU jokes:

My wife misunderstood my son when he asked for some Play-Doh for Christmas. She got him a load of euros.

Q: How do you know it’s going to be a double-dip recession?
A: Greek exports of taramosalata and tzatziki have plunged.

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece.
The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard replied: ‘You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.’

The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek mayor’s house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs, it was marvellous.

When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Greek mayor said: ‘You see that bridge over there?’

The Spaniard replied: ‘No.’.

In heaven: the cooks are French,
the policemen are English,
the mechanics are German,
the lovers are Italian,
and the bankers are Swiss.

In hell: the cooks are English,
the policemen are German,
 the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss
and the bankers are Italian.

Breaking news: The eurozone financial crisis will soon be over as Greece has received an unconditional €100bn bailout offer.

All they have to do is email their account details to the anonymous daughter of wealthy, but deceased African general…

Religion – Beyond Belief

Pat Condell’s banned video on Arabic 6th century Sharia courts:

Friday – hot and sunny

Jasper skiing in the back garden.

Jasper skiing in the back garden.

Time to gird me loin and get up. It’s all about avoiding weight on my leg and certain painful position and movements. These Narco tablets do help but one wrong move is excruciating.
Shuffle down the stairs on my arse.

His first little schuss unaided.

His first little schuss unaided.

Jasper dons his skis and goes for a slides around in the garden. He needs to learn to walk in them and slide down a little slope without falling. Important to get that sense of balance weight not too far forward or worse still too far back and they shoot from under you. He does very well and seems to get the hang of it. I hobble outside on my crutches to take some photos.

imageHis potty training is going great, no accidents for days and soon there’ll be no more room on his bright pink potty for stars or stickers.

Wendy picks Angela up from school at lunch time and her and Jasper play well together until Carol picks her up in the evening. Jasper keeps going up to Angela and asking for a cuddle, very cute.

Chris arrives from San Diego. Come to see Kurt and get in some skiing.

Try a couple of glasses of wine with the Narco tablets and I seem to have survived. Mind you I can rely on Fiona to help drain a few bottles.


Now a philosophy rant.
The witches of Los Angeles. Best avoided on a chair lift. They have the manners and consideration of a desiccated wart hog. After striking their prey they stand there like a cheese at fourpence watching their prey struggle. Who said witch craft was dead?

The witches of Los Angeles. Best avoided on a chair lift. They have the manners and consideration of a desiccated wart hog. After striking their prey they stand there like a cheese at fourpence watching their prey struggle. Who said witch craft was dead?

WHY, WHY, WHY? I still can’t believe it:

The view from a blood wagon when towed 3 miles down the mountain on a sled. A tad bumpy, with snow in the face.

The view from a blood wagon when being towed 3 miles down the mountain on a sled. A tad bumpy, with snow in the face.

Why the same bone?

Why in that place at that time?

Why didn’t I listen to Wendy and not go for a ski lesson?

Why did I have to go for that “just one more run” down Assesment, just because the snow was awesome?

Why didn’t I catch another chair?

At least a different bone would have been a minor consolation, although probably worse. What I’m really gutted about is not being able to take Jasper skiing and to ski with my star pupil Fiona. I know it may sound perverse, but at least if I’d done it skiing, it would have been my own stupid lack of skill, then I think I’d feel better.

Enough of the gloom and doom. Lets look on the positive side.

A shortcut when there is an emergency.

A shortcut when there is an emergency.

If I hadn’t had my meccano in me leg then it would probably have been much worse.

I’ve got my family around me while I recover.

Jasper keeps me on my virtual toes and helps me retain my sanity.

Park City’s an awesome place to recover.

We’ve plenty of great friends around us.

I’m well experienced with crutches and have a 5 star cripple mobility rating.

I had 4 awesome weeks skiing – more than most people get in a year.

And finally there are billions of people in a worse position.

So shape up, stop feeling sorry for myself and be thankful.

Wrong place, at the wrong time and shit happens.

Really big question. Will I ski again next year? Is this a sign? Don’t be ridiculous. Need some PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).

Saturday – hot and sunny

Jasper off to the park in his car.

Jasper off to the park in his car.

Breakfast in bed. Shuffle down the stairs on my arse. Perhaps I could get one of those trays and do the luge down the stairs.

IMG_7140Kurt and Chris are off skiing – not that I’m in the least bit envious!

Another relaxing day working on my website and trying to regain my sanity.

Wendy, Fiona and Jasper go shopping. Now there’s a surprise. Then in the afternoon they go round to the park, Jasper drives his little red car round.

I want a go too.

I want a go too.

At night Chris and Kurt go out on the town, down the bars on Main Street.

My Sick Humour


Sunday – rain in the town, hopefully snow on the mountain

Macaroni pudding courtesy of Fiona.

Macaroni pudding courtesy of Fiona.

Breakfast in bed watching the rain erode away all the snow on the golf course. Sad.

Hal and Angela pop round to see the cripple.

Kurt, Fiona and Chris catch the free bus down to Kimble junction whilst we baby sit Jasper. Just pure energy and go, no chance of him having an afternoon nap.

Well Chris likes it.

Well Chris likes it.

The kids have a Five guys, now there’s a surprise.

Being Sunday there’s vegetables on the table for tea along with beef bourgeoune. Fiona makes me Macaroni pudding for tea. She’s a good en. Well at least Chris seems to like it. Mind you the fewer that like it the more left over for me. This one should keep me going for two days. Sheer luxury.

Fiona helps out with the wine. Don't want It oxidizing.

Fiona helps out with the wine. Don’t want It oxidizing.

Well it seems that there’s at least one advantage to breaking your femur, it increase my blog hit to over 45 in a day. Nearly a record.

Jasper’s goosed by evening and willingly saunters off to bed. We all watch a Netflix film in the evening.


European paradise joke :

You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by an Englishman. Food is prepared by a Frenchman and an Italian puts you in the mood and everything is organised by a German.
European hell:
You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by a Frenchman. Food is prepared by an Englishman, German puts you in the mood but, don’t worry, everything is organised by an Italian.


That joke was proposed by a Belgian as the Official European Joke, the joke that every single European pupil should learn at school. The Joke will improve the relationship between the nations as well as promote our self humour and our culture.
imageThe European Council met in order to make a decision. Should the joke be the Official European Joke or not?
The British representative announced, with a very serious face and without moving his jaw, that the joke was absolutely hilarious.
The French one protested because France was depicted in a bad way in the joke. He explained that a joke cannot be funny if it is against France.
Poland also protested because they were not depicted in the joke.
Luxembourg asked who would hold the copyright on the joke. The Swedish representative didn’t say a word, but looked at everyone with a twisted smile.
Denmark asked where the explicit sexual reference was. If it is a joke, there should be one, shouldn’t there?
Deck chairsHolland didn’t get the joke, while Portugal didn’t understand what a « joke » was. Was it a new concept?
Spain explained that the joke is funny only if you know that the lunch was at 13h, which is normally breakfast time. Greece complained that they were not aware of that lunch, that they missed an occasion to have some free food, that they were always forgotten. Romania then asked what a « lunch » was.
Lithuania et Latvia complained that their translations were inverted, which is unacceptable even if it happens all the time. Slovenia told them that its own translation was completely forgotten and that they do not make a fuss. Slovakia announced that, unless the joke was about a little duck and a plumber, there was a mistake in their translation. The British representative said that the duck and plumber story seemed very funny too.
Hungary had not finished reading the 120 pages of its own translation yet.
Then, the Belgian representative asked if the Belgian who proposed the joke was a Dutch speaking or a French speaking Belgian. Because, in one case, he would of course support a compatriot but, in the other case, he would have to refuse it, regardless of the quality of the joke.
To close the meeting, the German representative announced that it was nice to have the debate here in Brussels but that, now, they all had to make the train to Strasbourg in order to take a decision. He asked that someone to wake up the Italian, so as not to miss the train, so they can come back to Brussels and announce the decision to the press before the end of the day.
« What decision? » asked the Irish representative.
And they all agreed it was time for some coffee.

Religion – Beyond Belief

Islam let’s pray 50 times a day:

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