20160311 – Is That A Nissan Gas Guzzler? iPad Time With Jasper.

Friday – hot and sunny

iPad time with Papa.

iPad time with Papa.

Some real excitement for me as we swap the Hertzmobile. What a fiasco. Topping up with petrol is a nightmare as guage is inaccurate.

Kurt's arrived home.

Kurt’s arrived home.

Get there and first car stinks of fags – rejected. 2nd is a Nissan with cracked bumper from collision – rejected. After a wait whilst they clean a big Dodge SUV they present us with this 7 seater SUV, a family of 10 could comfortably live in it. Wander around to inspect it and it seems that Dodge are so ashamed of their brand they have now started putting Nissan badges on the front of their cars. “Oh I’m sorry I’ve cleaned the wrong car” says the divvy from Hertz. By now we’ve lost the will to live and I even accept a Nissan.

Hal comes round in the afternoon and we have a productive meeting reviewing his web sites. Thankfully I’ve got this nerdy project to keep me occupied.

My Sick Humour

 
George Carlin – Political Correctness is fascism pretending to be Manners………………

Religion – Beyond Belief

 
Pat Condell – We want the truth. In defence of Donald Trump:

 

I know I rant on about the singularity but Google’s robotic arms are teaching themselves to do things and it’s terrifying:

For full article click here


Saturday – hot and sunny

Angela's on crutches too.

Angela’s on crutches too.

Don’t you just love it when you’re in the shower, you close the body wash and it ejects a globule of soap straight into your eyeball, where it proceeds to burn my eyeball like an overdose of mustard gas.

A full day in for me working on Hal’s web site. Helps keep me sane.

Jasper plays with eggs and home made microwave.

Jasper plays with eggs and home made microwave.

Everyone else gets some exciting retail therapy with a trip to the supermarket. Thankfully I’m excluded now Fiona is here.

imageCarol and Angela pop round in the afternoon so Angela can show us her crutches. She’s sprained her ankle and is now copying me with crutches. Could have a crutch race but she’d beat me hands down.

In the evening Fiona helps me save a bottle of Merlot from premature oxidisation.

How nice it is to spend a family evening in. No TV. No eyes down glued to an iPhone. No iPads. Just sit, talk and be entertained by Jaspers antics.

My Sick Humour

 
A progressive guide to political correctness

Religion – Beyond Belief

 
Muslim Mastermind:

 
I don’t believe it.
Now I know they’re off their rocker. If brains were dynamite they wouldn’t have enough to blow their nose. It really is time to get out:

The EU and Turkey say they have agreed the broad principles of a plan to ease the migration crisis.
Under the plan discussed in Brussels, all migrants arriving in Greece from Turkey would be returned.
For each Syrian sent back, a Syrian already in Turkey would be resettled in the EU. Turkey would also get extra funding and progress on EU integration.

And to pile on the stupidity they’re paying Turkey billions of Euros. Pots for rags.


Sunday – Cool and cloudy

Jasper helps out. Papa watches on.

Jasper helps out. Papa watches on.

A full day in for me. Thankfully I’ve got Hal’s website to work on and keep me occupied. Brings out the nerd in me.

Wendy, Fiona and Jasper catch the bus into Main Street. Good isn’t it I hire a car to sit in the car park. Jasper lives going on the bus. They examine every shop on Main Street and then have lunch. Jasper gets a giant ice cream.

imageThey walk back from town and then spend the first hour in comparing how many steps they’ve done, with Wendy thrusting her Fitbit under me nose in case I have the temerity to doubt the veracity of her step count.

Fiona’s excited we’re having pot roast, with Sunday vegetables for tea. The poor Americans daily fare.

A winter storms on the way in. Let’s hope it delivers the promised snow, we need it:

IMG_7596… WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 6 PM THIS EVENING TO 4 PM MDT TUESDAY FOR THE WASATCH AND WESTERN UINTA MOUNTAINS… 
* SNOW TOTALS… 1 TO 3 FEET THROUGH TUESDAY. 
* TIMING… DEVELOPING TONIGHT FROM NORTH TO SOUTH. THE NORTHERN WASATCH WILL SEE THE HIGHEST RATES BETWEEN MIDNIGHT AND NOON MONDAY… WHILE FURTHER SOUTH THE HIGHEST RATES WILL BE MONDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING. 
* WINDS… GUSTING TO 50 MPH… WITH SOME RIDGELINES SEEING GUSTS TO 80 MPH. 
* MAIN IMPACT… SIGNIFICANT BLOWING SNOW IS FORECAST TO CAUSE POOR VISIBILITIES. ALL MOUNTAIN ROUTES WILL BE SIGNIFICANTLY HAMPERED WITH ROAD SNOW. THOSE TRAVELING MONDAY MORNING SHOULD ALLOW EXTRA TIME FOR THE MONDAY COMMUTE.


 
This may well be a joke but with the loons in the EU it could oh so easily be reality:

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”, Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”, making words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl vritin styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU!

Herr Schmidt

 

Google driverless car crashes into a passenger bus.

“Abandon it” goes up the cry from the luddites and macho petrol heads who even think automatics are just glorified dogems suitable only for pussies.

I think it can’t come quick enough.  Ban car ownership and we can all bugle up a driverless car when we need it – bit like Uber – step inside and be driven wherever we want safely. When our journey is done the car serves someone else. Far fewer cars needed – no more legions of cars sitting in car parks or cluttering up the streets.

No more drunk, drug influenced or just routinely neglectful driving. No more learner drivers, driving tests, parking tickets or wardens, speeding, boy racing, aggressive manouevreing, road rage incidents, high speed police car chases, texting or phoning while driving, traffic lights, roundabouts, speed and traffic signs,speed bumps, general road clutter, Halfords, driving gloves. Far fewer accident and road deaths.  No more ridiculous 200mph capable cars on our roads either. Final death of the petrolhead culture.

Sense at last!  Bring it on. Just think how many lives will be saved to say nothing of fewer injuries.