For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Off for a week to Market Overton. Where’s that everyone ask? Near Oakham. Where’s that everyone asks? In Rutland. Where’s that everyone asks? Smallest county in England, next to Leicestershire. Where’s that everyone asks? I despair the Midlands.

Jasper is coming with us. Typical, his parents then said, what about the other two? One’s enough for now. Within 30 minutes of setting off, we’re stopped by the side of the road as Jasper’s feeling sick. The journey continues with that all common phrase that can drive every parent crazy as a bed bug. “Are we there yet?”.

Then we get lost as my navigator misses a turn we should have made 5 miles back. Whatever was life like before satnav? 18 miles going round in circles, then we’re back on route.

Now someones starving and if we don’t see a MacDonalds soon will probably die of starvation. Compromise and settle for a Burger King. Everyone agrees their chips (Fries for those who drive on the wrong side of the road) and Chicken nuggets are better than MacDonalds.

Finally arrive in glorious sunshine, 21 C to the Old Forge in Market Overton.

Jasper’s so excited. He thinks the “cottage” is so cool. His bedroom is 10/10 cool. We have to admit it’s probably best described as very funky. But it’s well equipped with a welcoming bottle of red wine, chocolates and basics in the fridge for us. He loves the lava lamp and Star Wars on the wall in his bedroom. The big question is will he sleep in it. He says he will.

We get unpacked and setup TV and chargers etc. Then it’s the delight of a trip to Tesco. Abandon hope all yea who enter there. Finally get back home for a well deserved beer and some wine – a Grenache, which I am pleased to say was good, will try some more. TV for the adults, more Sons of Anarchy, and ipad for Jasper.

 

 

Great news, Jasper slept all night in his 10 out of 10, cool bedroom, so didn’t need the blow up bed. Perhaps we should buy a lava lamp and put some Start Wars on the wall back at home.

Had a saunter around the dead centre of Market Overton. Wow, there are some old gravestones there. Your 6 square feet of inconvenience and immortality, well almost! The church seems really busy all of 6 people attended the Sunday service. Love the stocks on the village green. We really ought to bring back some of these old punishments to deal with the scroats.

Then after the usual lazy morning start, we drive to Oakham and pop in to see Dave and Joyce (my cousin). Take Jasper to a local park for a picnic and to play.

Then it’s a trip into Oakham to buy Jasper some of those wrist bands that allegedly stop car sickness. I’ll believe it when I hear it, but at least it might just be a placebo effect. Wendy, also needs some brandy. They have a nice choice of brandy but most of them are just too expensive to be polluted with lemonade. Settle on a bottle of Asbach, German brandy, haven’t seen it for a long while.

Then we drive down to Rutland Water to price up kayaks and bike hire ready for Tuesday. As you would expect on a bank holiday weekend it’s busy, with more people than good bacteria in a healthy gut.

Finally back home with plans for dinner at the Black Bull in the village. Oh sorry we’re not doing dinner tonoght. Typical. Never mind home for Hofbrau, cheeseburger and wine.

 

 

 

Another success with Jasper, he sleeps in his own room, no problem. He’s obviously getting in training for being a teenager, 08:30 he saunters out of bed.

What to do with an 8 year old. Actually, it’s dead simple just let him stay in and play on his iPad. Trying to get him out is the hard part.

We set off to Rutland water for a game of mini-golf, he really loves playing this, so excited. Then onto the adventure playground for an hours play and a picnic. Have a leisurely stroll down to the reservoir. Wow it is so busy. But Jasper really enjoys himself here.

In the evening we go to Joyce and Daves for dinner. It’s a great pick me spread including Melton Mowbray pork pie and Stilton cheese, not forgetting red wine. Awesome. Jasper has a MacDonalds, so much simpler.

 

 

 

Lazy start then we’re off into Oakham.

Go to the play park there and have a picnic. It keeps Jasper happy. Same park where I used to play over 60 years ago. They’ve got rid of the see-saw since then, health and safety no doubt, and no longer have a paddling pool.

Then we’re off to Rutland Water to go kayaking. rent a three-man sit on top kayak. Jasper’s so excited and loves it. First time “I’ve been on a sit-on kayak. Certainly not very comfortable, kills your back and within 30 minute my foots gone dead, but they all seem to be going to sit on’s, I suppose they’re a lot safer if they tip over. Having said that they’re very stable and I wonder how many people ever drowned in a sit-in kayak? Give me a sit-in kayak any day.

Then it’s off to Aldi, followed by dinner at the Old Buttercross, not easy to find and a pretty good menu but all the foods pre-pared by a microwave operative, no chef needed. Everythings just microwaved.

 

 

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Usual lazy start, even at Bretts. Then we have a drive down to Arundel. Quaint little town with splendid castle (closed). Pleasant walk down the river and view our kayak start point for tomorrow.

Drive onto Littlehampton, sadly the fishmnoger we wanted to buy a load of fish from, to take home, is closed but call in at a Brewhouse which sells draft beers in flagons – remembered those from nipping to the Offy (off license) way back when.

I really fancy trying a Sussex Smokie but the pub that does them is closed. The first day theyre allowed to open for indoor customers, after 3 months lockdown, and the lazy arses are closed – no enterprise.

End up going to the Lobster Pot cafe on the beach. Fortunately they don’t sell beer so I’m not tempted to break my no drinking during the day commandment. Never mind soon be 17:00.

The weather is weird. One minute clear blue sky, next minute it’s rainin’ like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock. Then back home for afternoon tea.
 

Brett and I are up and out for 09:20 to spend the day kayaking up the river Arun. It’s only the fastest flowing river in England and we’re going 14 miles upstream against the current. Fear not they said the tide will be going in so it will be easy. Fortunately we have touring sea kayaks which are sleek and efficient. Bad news is they are that sleek they tip easy.

Well it turns out they got it all wrong and we end up paddling against the current for 5 hours. We even had to paddle to just stand still. Seems we set off too early and yesterday’s rain is delaying the incoming tide. As fast as we paddle upstream we’re running ahead of the incoming tide. Amazing that the tide goes 25 miles inland on river Arun. After 5 hours we’re able to dock and get out for lunch.

Amateurs strike again. But despite it all we have a great day out on the water and the weather remains sunny.

Abandon the whole 14 miles at the halfway point. It would have been a 20:00 hours finish, if we’d have survived the whole trip.

Wendy gave the kayaking a pass and went shopping, it’s what women do best. Karine had to work. Brett and Karine have it made, they both work from home in their separate home offices.

Back home for an excellent Moussaka, cooked by Wendy and Karine with interference from Brett. He really couldn’t resist dabbling.
 
Perfect end to a great day.

Well end of our 4 days with Brett and Karine as we set off back home. Really enjoyed our stay. Off on the road by 10:00, a record for Wendy. A congestion free trip home.

 

Esther is delivered at the crack of sparrows a two day sojourn.

Well after 10 months Wendy Finally gets to see a consultant face to face about her back. Well not really the consultant merely one of his underlings. It only took them 6 months to arrange an MRI and then 4 months to reviewew the results. In the meantime they weren’t aware she even had an MRI and were convinced she’d had a steroid injections. Just clueless and inept. They couldn’t organise an orgy in a brothel.

Anyway they finally decide on a plan of action. No point in steroid injections as they wouldn’t know where to inject. Surgery is no use. Turns out she just has to put up with it, physio therapy and pain management. 9 months to come to that. I’ve been telling her for months to go and see our physiotherapist. Oh and they’ll review in 6 months.

Wendy phones the physio when she gets home and thanks to a cancellation she gets to see our physio that afternoon. He sounds confident he knows what the problem is and can improve it. Gives her some traction, some exercises to do and plan of a 4 week traction and acupuncture course. Well even if the traction doesn’t fix it at least she may be able to reach the top of the kitchen cupboards after it. Amazing what private medicine can do. Now we need to get copies of the MRI scan so that if we go to America we can get a second opinion.
 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

A sunny day, awesome blue sky and a tad windy, but so much better than the rain and clouds.

Drive up to Bedruthan Steps. You’re not allowed on the beach in case the cliff falls in on you. What awesome beaches and views over Bedruthan Steps Beach and Red Cove. Wendy has lunch overlooking Red Cove.

Then we drive back down the coast to Crantock Beach. A short stroll on the beach down the Gannel to celebrate happy memories. Then into the village for a cream tea for Wendy. No chance. Onto Hollywell beach. Again no chance of a cream tea. It seems that the famous Cornish Cream tea has died of Covid and is rarer than a Bible seller in Tehran.

Finally onto Perranporth and call in at Tollgate Farm caravan site – we stayed there in 2007. They don’t store caravans but there is a local storage place that delivers to site, that they recommend.

Finally, get a cream tea in Perranporth, and it’s very reasonably priced.

Back home for tea. Smoked Salmon followed by a Cornish Pasty with black puddings, baked beans, and lashings of Daddies sauce.
 

The forecast is sunny for the morning, so we make the supreme effort and set off out by 10:00 to saunter along the coastal path into Newquay. Our last visit this trip so we celebrate with a coffee at the pub we met at back in 1968. Inside it’s a lot bigger than I remember but as for the toilets there’s not even room to flip a coin. How can lads out on the pull be able to determine how to divvy up the birds (look it up if you’re not sure) between them?

Back for lunch, then we pack ready for our departure tomorrow to number one sons for a few days.

I take a stroll down to Porth beach and explore the beach and rocks. It’s a lovely little beach and if we come down here again, which we probably will if these staycations take root, then we’d be tempted to stay around here. Our current rentals comfortable, clean, only 4 minutes to the beach and we’ve enjoyed our stay. The main downside is the approach to the back door is off-putting and the road noise, although fortunately doesn’t keep us awake or wake us. Mind you it’s not cheap considering the time of year, but I suppose everyone is jumping on the covid staycation bandwagon and having a separate entrance means we can stay here prior to the 17th May.
 

Up and set off just before 10:00 to drive to Bretts. It’s a journey from hell. Across country to Elmer Sands. Drive through Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Hampshire and then West Sussex. The torrential downpours, especially through Dorest are horrendous, enough to wear out my wiper blades.

Great to get to Brett and Karine’s for a very welcome cup of tea. The house they moved into is great. On a lovely private, protected estate, with a village green in front. Plenty of room and you can walk to the beach in minutes. Have a grand tour, followed by a stroll down the beach and then get settled in with a very welcome bottle of red wine. Tea consists of Scallops with black pudding starter followed by Haddock and vegatable stir fry. All very tasty even if vegetables are involved.

A pleasant evening in catching up and watching some Now (The Good Doctor) and Netflix stand up comedy.

Great nights sleep. Wot no early morning road noise and toilet paper that doesn’t disintegrate as you tear it off the roll.
 

The usual lazy start to the day with croissants for breakfast. Karine has to suffer watching me committ sacriledge to croissant consumption. They’re so much better with jam on them.

Lunch followed by a drive down to a few harbours and a tour around the area. Mixed showers and we get soaked at the harbour. Call in at Aldi to pick up some essentials – wine.

In the evening it’s Coq Au Vin with a full bottle of wine in it, which certainly improves the flavour even more.

Then we try various Nationality tests. Good news is Karine passes the British one, as for the rest of us well that’s a bit dicey, lookes like we could all be put in a rubber dinght and packed off to France. Best news is we all qualify for the USA and even 100% for Australia.
 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Well another lazy start to the day. Forecast is rain, wind and cloud.

I’ve dreamt up a new software project to keep me happy. This will allow all 2 of my blog flowers to select or deselect the visibility of any of my various rants. Not so much as pandering to the snowflakes, wokes, and libtards, more about a little software project. Really need to come up with a decent project to keep the grey matter from atrophy.

Set off for a stroll into Newquay along the headlands and coastal path.

Lunch of butties (at least for her indoors, I stick with a couple of healthy Dates) sat like a couple of escaped geriatrics on a park bench watching the surfers. All we needed was our slippers and pajama bottoms to complete the picture.

Stroll back. It seems that the majority of the tourists are so very poor that they can’t afford jean or trousers without a tare in them. I’m oh so tempted to go up to a few of them and give them a pound towards some new ones. Then we encounter the beggar who, according to his childish sign, seems to have more birthdays than the queen. Every day is his birthday. Yet again we encounter the Newquay blue super freak, tattoos and piercings everywhere, and holes in his ear lobes big enough to hang your washing out on. I’m sure he along with the Smurfs will be offended by Morris dancers painting their faces blue. Just goes to show you can’t please everyone, so the best philosophy is to always please yourself.

Why do Blackbirds stand on one leg? Well, it appears that it is to minimise heat loss.

Afternoon tea. Then an awesome pizza with lashings of Pepperoni. Again, the weather has turned out sunny for teatime.

 

Yea, kippers for breakfast. That’ll stink the house out for days.

Now that my software project is finished – try it above – what next.

I know I’ll vacuum the carpet. Can you believe that anybody would buy a vacuum cleaner like the one in this apartment is an absolute disgrace in design, it’s one of those drag-along ones, surely the first time you used it you take it back and demand your money back and that the designer was sacked. The cleaning head just bounces along the carpet so makes no difference. I might just as well chalk out a pentagram and boil frogs.

Drive up to Pentire and set off for a walk to the headland. Wendy backs out after 15 minutes, too hilly and windy. The views from the headland are awesome, but the wind is strong enough to blow your hearing aids out. When I get back Wendy is chatting to a couple who are caravanning down here. Bloody hell the geezer can talk for Europe, never shuts up, amazing he gets enough oxygen with all that talking. Just manage to escape with our ears still intact.

Wendy wants to go to M&S, so off we go. What a waste of time, of course they don’t have what she wanted.

Press are reporting a hot July forecast. What planet are these people living on? No one seems able to forecast tomorrow’s weather never mind two months ahead. I have 3 forecast apps and they’re all about 120 degrees apart. They never agree.

After afternoon tea we drive up the coast and stop off for an excellent pint of Tribute Ale, St Austell Brewery, at Mawgan Porth. Certainly the best part of the day, glorious sunshine, yet again.

Tea tonight is a medley of fish we’ve never tried, Red Mullet, my favourite; Cornish Brill, not much taste, vey delicate, a ladies fish; Monkfish, tasty and somebody to it. As a nation, we’re surrounded by fish and should start to eat more of it.

Will we ever get to finish “Sons of Anarchy” or “Schitts Creek”? Nearing the end of “For ALL Mankind”. Watching the Sons of Anarchy parties is enough to make you want to buy a motorbike.

Lazy start and forecast is not good. All three forecasts are not good, but all in different time frames and levels of gloom and doom, so it’s off to St Ives for a saunter around, probably in the rain.

Have a wander around St Ives in the intermittent drizzle. If I smell or see yet another Cornish pastie shop I’m going to have my throat sewn up and my nostril stuffed.

The whole place is a picture of a washout English holiday, compounded by the Covid restrictions not allowing any indoor food or drinks. If ever there was a need to understand why so many Brits go abroad for their holidays, this is it. Wendy catches the bus back up to the free car park. I go for the exercise. All the way up the steep steps is one hell of a free HIIT workout.

Decide to drive back up the coast road to explore Portreath, Port Towan and St Agnes. At least by now the rains stopped and it’s starting to get a bit sunnier. Portreath is a pleasant little place with a nice cove. Best that can be said about Porth Towan is that there are plenty of pubs and eating places. As for St Agnes it’s just a sizeable inland village.

By the time we get home for afternoon tea, the suns out and all is well with the World.

Decide we’ll have a stroll down to the Mermaid Pub on Port beach. The sun is out and it’s lovely to just sit and have a pint, or two, of Tribute Ale. Thats, after you’ve downloaded the app to order and pay for your drinks, which then take just under 20 minutes to arrive. And this is progress?

Have chats with Fiona and then Kurt rings for a chat. Finally finish off “For All Mankind”, somewhat underwhelming. Apple certainly need to do better. I really cannot see Apple TV surviving. Why didn’t they use some of their cash mountain to buy up an existing player and get some collateral?

It’s a luvly shade o’ black o’er t’mother-in-laws. Well a rainy and cloudy day forecast. Perhaps the worst so far. We hunker down for the day with the highlight being a trip to Sainsbury to buy some bin liners.

Turns out the forecasts are right, it rains nearly all day but then at teatime out comes the sun again.

If ever there is day to make you want to be out of this goddamn sodden country then today is that day. Get me out of here to Park City. And to make matters worse it’s a no alcohol day – sure, drinking kills brain cells – but only the weak ones.
 

Lazy start and then we’re off to Crantock, Hollywell and Perranporth. A pilgrimage to old holiday haunts both from when we first met and subsequent holidays with the kids. You forget how narrow the roads are down here, with giant hedgerows so you can’t see any of the scenery. A bit like driving down a tube, but the hedgerows just team with flora and wildlife.
Pass on going on Crantock beach. Park up on Hollywell bay where they’re filming some secretive film or TV series. All very hush, hush and no one claims to know what it is. Could it be Poldark? They’ve filmed that here before. Will we get to see that tasty wench Demelza? There’s certainly a mass of gear being set up, why they’ve even installed a road across the beach. While wendy stuffs her face with lunch I climb up the sand dunes to see what is going on. As I get near to all the gear being set up two security guards, from a flock of guards, swoop down on me and want to be very friendly and deter me from approaching closer or taking pictures. Bear in mind they’re not filming, just setting up and have taken over a lot of the beach. They try to stop me from taking photographs. Claiming there are young children there and it would be improper. As you can see from the photo there are no young children. “Where are these young children then.” Oh, they’re down there they say. “Oh, have you imported them in as an excuse to stop anyone photographing? I see no children”. But hang on a minute if these invisible children are going to be in a film why should my photographing be a problem? I take photographs. They try and stop me walking over the sand dunes.

Plenty of fond memories of Hollywell bay and the kids enjoying their blow up dingy in the stream there. Great thatched pub selling real ales. Happy days.

When wendy finished her nosh and I’ve had my 3 Dates we set off to Perranporth.

Well, Perranporths not changed much. Such a nice little place, not as big and busy as Newquay. Again many happy holidays there staying at Lillian’s guest house.

Afternoon tea for two and then we set off back home.

Wendy goes in to make tea whilst I set off to explore the headland and the blow hole on Porth beach. Not much of a blow today. Need to go when the seas a lot rougher. Never mind, still a lovely stroll.

Watching “Ted Lasso”, one of the few decent series on Apple TV, when I’m distracted by a pornographic episode on a neighbour’s roof. Two seagulls are at it like rabbits. Hang on a minute one scampered off to the roof apex, must be the female with a headache.

Despite the original forecast of rain, it’s turned out sunny with clouds and no rain. Fortunately that wind has died down. Another pleasant day.

Turns out they are filming the prequel to “Game of Thrones”, called “House of the DRagon”, must be costing a fortune.

After our usual lazy start we set off the Wadebridge. There’s, a fishmonger there, rarer than a bible seller in Tehran, we want to go to as well as exploring the town. The town was a tad underwhelming. The fishmongers was a great experience. Good choice of fresh fish. Plenty of advice on what to choose and even how to cook it. The mackerel had been caught just this morning and we even get to see the fishing boat responsible. Fortunately, this guy just loves his job, can fillet all our fish for us and has even won prizes for his filleting skills. As well as some dressed Crab, we buy some Cornish Brill and Red Mullet to try. It’s always a pleasure to meet people who obviously love their work.

Then we set off to Padstow. This place is another that seems to think that all parking spaces should be just big enough to shoe horn a Renault Twizy into. The harbour area is heaving but we manage to find a form to sit on and enjoy our mid-day repast. Take a stroll around the harbour, down to a beach which never seems to materialise and then, of course, wander around a few cute shops selling all sorts of junk that people may want but certainly don’t need and soon will grow tired of.

Off then to visit Doc Martin at Port Isaac. Drive down some of the narrowest roads ever. Best to turn the wing mirrors in. Well, this place is a tad disappointing. Not really much there, but some good exercise up the hill back to the free car park (only to May 17). Finally, find somewhere for afternoon tea in the grounds where they film the schoolyard in Doc Martin.

Back home for a great Crab and Smoked Mackeral salad, topped off by a luscious Primitivo from Morrisons.

A sun and cloud day, and no rain.

After lazy start we set off down to Mevagissey. A classic cornish harbour, complete with grot shops and tourists. We’ve been before but like my breakfast, I can’t remember it. At least it’s easy to park and doesnt need a 2nd mortgage. Have lunch by the harbour and a very short stroll around.

Then I have this mad desire to go explore Portmellon. It seems that the only route there is by the narrowest of alleyways that you need to pull your wing mirrors in to get through. Passing places rarer than a Christian church in Tehran. And what a disappointment, nothing there to write home about. Journey back down through Mevagissey (can I spell it the same twice in a row) is a throwback to the good old days of motoring, when you had a man in front with a red flag. In this case, it’s Wendy in front, sans red flag, trying to stop dimwits creating the need to reverse. Typical, she gets told to F Off by one lemming. Well, now I know what’s at Portmellon. We certainly never be going there again and perhaps it’s a lesson to not be ruled by your desires.

What a coincidence. Prior to today I had never heard of, nor seen a Renault Twizy car until I was doing my blog and wanted the name of the narrowest car. And then on the way to that place we encounter a Renault Twizy, ideal for those roads but certainly not on my wish list.

Decide to call in at St Austel on the way back. Hmm…, another town in its death throws, with the usual surplus of charity shops and empty shops. Does have a nice town square with some hearty wench serenading inattentive tourists and fleeting locals.

Back home for afternoon tea. No real hike today.

Dinner is a fantastic fry up of bacon, egg, beans and best of all black puddings.

Listen to the Covid update from the house of the chief of the kakistocracy. So where can we travel to beyond these wet and windy shores after 17th May? There’s only 12 on the Green list – can travel to, “no quarantine” status – and France and America are not on it. The United States (Uk is still on the USA’s “Do not travel” advisory) and most of Europe are on the UK’s “amber” list – no travel to amber list countries or territories for leisure purposes and requires arrivals back to UK to self-isolate for 10 days and pay for two PCR tests. Well for now that puts the kibosh on going to France or returning to Park City for at least another 4 weeks. Other than Israel and Ireland there’s nowhere on the green list I fancy going and her indoors thinks she’ll get blown up if she goes to Israel. Mind you the way things are shaping up in NI that could be a worry in Belfast. Meanwhile, we need to understand when they say Ireland is on the green list is that Southern Ireland (EU Country) as well?

All very disappointing, so it looks like plan B for June – Irish road trip.

Will we ever get the caravan back from France before outright war is declared with the EU?

Very lazy start as it’s rain all day.

Off to explore Truro. Seems the best we can do on a rainy day.

It’s a lovely town. Plenty of diverse shops; no homogenised shopping; and best of all a traffic-free centre. Hardly notice the rain. Its other claim to fame is that it seems to have the only Natwest Bank in Cornwall. Alas they can’t be bothered to open at the weekend. Is it time to look for another bank?

Manage to finally purchase some kitchen knives for Wendy. This time it’s ones with the blade all the way through the handle so hopefully, they won’t snap. Sadly made in China but razor-sharp. The question now is how do we get them home without being arrested for carrying two dangerous weapons?

How can it take 20 minutes to go into a shop to buy some wrapping paper – I despair.

Pop into Waitrose on the way home for the weekly shop. Home delivery is so much better. My threshold of tolerance is about 5 minutes, by which time I’ve bought all I need and am ready to go to the car and play on my iPhone. Seems very similar to Jasper’s behavior with his iPad.

Set off at a leisurely 11:30. It’s bank holiday weekend and the traffic forecasts are dire. Boy we can sure pick our days to travel. At least with a late start we might avoid the inevitable early onslaught. Turns out to be a good decision.

After a great journey finally locate our VRBO home for the next two weeks. The rental earns its first black mark before we’ve even opened the door. The address / directions / location on Google maps are all a complete joke. Even when we’re in the car park, no sign of Number 3.

Before we unpack I check the essentials are working ok – wifi is good. Clean, modern and well equipped. The outside approach is a bit disappointing, but then you don’t live outside. Wifi is good and very stable. We’re only about 200 yards from Porth Beach and it’s lovely and sunny to greet us

The usual lazy start to the day. Time for coffee and to catch up on all the disturbing news. Apple News does a great job of bringing together news from all over, especially the Times and Wall Street Journal. Too much news really. Then it’s time to start my blog. The rants and writing is somehow very therapeutic.

We take a stroll along the coastal footpath into Newquay. Stop for a luscious beer outside the pub where we met. No sign of a historic blue plaque to mark the occasion. Big debate on what the pub was called in those days. Why they’ve even changed the name of the pub from “The Saddle Bar” to “The Central” and on top of that doubled its size. Take plenty of photos whilst the suns out, because this may be our only chance if the dire weather forecasts are to be believed.

Wendy buys a sandwich and she has lunch sat in a park overlooking Towan Beach. We sure know how to live.

Try to find a decent bottle of brandy for Wendy. No chance. Call in Asda which seems to be housed in some back street shed. Still it lacks the scroats that infest Blackburn Asda.

Stroll back for afternoon tea.

Start watching Line of Duty, now that all episodes are available so we can binge-watch. Don’t know who is responsible for the sound and awful accents. Have the hearing aids on full blast and it still sounds like it was recorded in a washing machine on a slow soak.

End to a great sunny day.

Lazy start again.

Well if ever there was a reason to escape from Belthorn at every opportunity, this has to be it:

Hyndburn now has the highest infection rate in England as cases rise in nine Lancashire boroughs

Hyndburn, Blackburn with Darwen, Preston, Chorley, Lancaster, Burnley and South Ribble are above the national average with Rossendale, Pendle, Wyre, West Lancs, Blackpool, Ribble Valley and Fylde below

Then it’s off to Morrisons and with a stop up at Waitrose. Just the excitement we need for such a blustery stormy day. At least thers no rain until 15:00, but wind enough to blow me hubcaps off.

Oh, the joy of Morrison, it’s heaving, you’d think they were giving it away.

Waitrose is so much more pleasant and relaxed. Such a better class of person, they all wear masks. Mind you very pricey.

Trying to find a quality mellow brandy so Wendy can adulterate it with lemonade – perversion. I guess Cornwall is not into brandy, seems to be rarer than a Taliban wearing a pinny and washing the dishes for his wife.

Find a few nice red wines, Carmenere, Primitivo and Pinot Noir. Glad to say none from the EU, always gives me a sense of delight when I avoid buying from the EU. Keep this up and their economy will be tanking big style – payback time.

After spending a fortune we head back for afternoon tea and watch the rain.

In the evening we binge out on “Line of Duty” again. Get through 4 episodes, couldn’t understand much of the dialogue. Leave the excitement of the last episode until tomorrow. Whilst sat watching TV, supping some mediocre Pinot Noir, I’m poleaxed by the standard lamp falling over in a drunken state. This is the second time it’s tried to kill me.

A lovely sunny but blustery day.

Another lazy start to the day, with a negative covid 19 lateral flow test for both of us. What a horrible experience these tests are, but we try and do our bit. Another impressive service from the NHS.

Finallie of “Line of Duty” tonight. Who is “H”. Exciting but oh so sad that we are excited.

Drive down to Towan Head for Wendy’s picnic lunch; stroll up to the headland; then a stroll into Newquay to buy some Cornish pasties for tea; followed by a pot of tea overlooking the harbour. Wow, spare no expense on this trip.

Come across the Huers Hut and a load of rug rats being told tales about the hut. God those teachers must have been brave to take that mob of rug rats out. Apparently, in the 14th century, the hut was occupied by a Huer who kept a lookout for shoals of Pilchards. When spotted he blew his horn and the fishermen all dashed out to catch the Pilchards. Pity they still don’t do it. You try buying fresh Pilchards or sardines these days.

Cornish pastie with Daddys sauce for tea then drive down to Truro to play pickleball. Traffic chaos around Truro. Nice and sunny but the wind was enough to blow the knickers off a nun. Certainly made for some interesting games. Not as much fun though as our motley crew. It’s only a game! Mind you best not to play after a cornish pastie.

Back home to some Pinot Noir and the final episode of “Line of Duty”. Still confused. Have they found “H”? Well, that leaves it open for another season.

After 4 months of lockdown they have finally let us loose, but only within the UK. How will we cope out in this brave new World surrounded by masked strangers? We’re off to a cottage in Anglesey. Yes, I know it’s in Wales and yes I know it will be full of Welsh people. I just have to escape, to travel, to avoid this awful weather. At least if the weather is awful there we’ll be somewhere different and can explore.

So off we set after Wendy has dilly dallied getting ready. Always the case.

The Welsh tourist board have put on a special welcome for us. Once we cross the border into Wales there are two traffic jams within 5 minutes of crossing. For my American friends, you have to understand that Wales is a chauvinistic chicken shit little country within the UK with aspirations of independence and who spend a fortune on signs in their own language and, especially in North Wales. They seem to have a mutually shared resentment and antipathy towards the English, taking great delight in switching to Welsh whenever the English are around. In the past, we had Offas dyke to keep them at bay.

Cross over the famous Menai bridge and stop for a shop at Waitrose. Wow, they sure knew how to build bridges in those days. No thin strip of metal suspended on string but six 6″ wide solid metal links acting as the a chain link suspension. Yes, they even have a Waitrose. Spend a fortune on convenience food and spot a nice-sounding Bourbon, Eagle Rare, which turns out to be awesome, and of course a couple of bottles of wine.

Having said all that about the Welsh our first three encounters with the locals are very friendly and pleasant. Makes me forget we are in Wales.

Our cottage is lovely. Modern, fresh, warm, well decorated and equipped, spotlessly clean, and best of all only £60 a night. Ideal for the two of us. Sadly the water in the bathroom is non-existent.

Soon fixed by plumber Edwards turning the stop tap back on. Then we try the wifi and it’s the usual story, 45 minutes of trying everything. Can’t even see their network. Then we encounter a typical arrogant Welsh zonderkeit who accuses my iPhone (doesn’t he know it’s made by Apple) of being the reason for my lack of wifi. Not that it’s anything to do with their wifi, as evidenced by two iPhones, two iPads, a MacBook, and their Netflix TV all failing to detect their network. Then miraculously it all springs to life. Why can’t the hospitality industry get it that wifi is essential, just like electricity and water! It’s not rocket science to set up and test.

Soon get settled in and after the all-important afternoon cup of tea, we take a stroll around the village of Aberffraw and down the river. It’s alovely little village if somewhat dilapidated.

Settle in for yet another quiet evening with wine and intermittent Netflix. Finish off the last episode of the Vikings. What a great series.

Awake to a gorgeous sunny but cold day. This is more like it, makes the World and me seem so much better.

After our usual leisurely start to the day – breakfast, tea, coffee and too much news from around the World with Apple News (no dirty ink stained hands), we set off for a drive up to Holyhead.

RAF Valley is on the Island which explains the regular roar of fighter jets overhead. Somewhat comforting sight and sound to know that they’re trained and ready at a moments notice if needed.

Have a wander around Holyhead. What a dump. At least there’s no homogenised shopping. All individual shops, mostly dirty, closed, run-down, in need of a lick of paint. The main ones open seem to be the inevitable charity shops. As Wendy says it’s even worse than Blackburn – that’s some accolade. Later in the day, we discover why it’s such a dump, on the outskirts of town is a modern out-of-town shopping park with all the homogenized shops your shopping bags and credit cards could dream of.

Have a stroll around the Breakwater Country Park. Very pleasant, then it’s off to the Stacks Light House. It’s closed due to covid but at least we can wander around the cliffs and take in the views. At £6 a pop – to knacker yourself climbing all those stairs – I don’t think this skinflint would have bothered anyway.

Call in at the first of many remains of Neolithic settlements. Wendy can hardly wait to visit more and there are many more. The whole Island is infested with them. I wonder how they coped without wifi?

Then it’s a leisurely drive back, not forgetting a minor detour for a merchandising opportunity in Morrissons – sadly no decent Sardines.

Afternoon tea followed by a walk down the river to the beach. NB: next time we go for a walk wear waterproof hiking boots.

Another pleasant evening in trying to watching you know what and sampling my Eagle Rare Bourbon – awesome, the Bourbon that is.

End to a sunny day.

Well another lazy start to the day. Find time to do this blog which is a lot more therapeutic and less stressful than reading todays bad tidings in Apple News.

Set off to explore some of the burial chambers. Sadly Bjorn mounted on his horse was not in this one (Vikings Season 602). Start off with Bryn Celli Ddu.

Bryn Celli Ddu – the Mound in the Dark Grove – is probably the best-known prehistoric monument on Anglesey, and is one of the most evocative archaeological sites in Britain. Like other prehistoric tombs on Anglesey it was constructed to protect and pay respect to the remains of the ancestors.

Bryn Celli Du.

The monument seems to have begun in the later Neolithic around 5,000 years ago, as a ‘henge’ or a ritual enclosure. It consisted of a bank (now lost) around an inner ditch, which enclosed a circle of upright stones. The ditch originally measured 21 meters in diameter. The outer edge can still be seen and several stones from the inner stone circle also survive.

The Bryn Celli Ddu passage tomb consists of a long passage that leads to a polygonal stone chamber. Human bones, both burnt and unburnt, were found in the passage of the tomb. Other finds were few, but included quartz, two flint arrowheads, a stone bead, and limpet and mussel shells.

Back door to Bryn Celli Du.

At dawn on midsummer solstice, shafts of light from the rising sun penetrate down the passageway to light the inner burial chamber. Perhaps this sunlight was meant to bring warmth and life to the ancestors?

Also visit Bodowyr Burial Chamber, but not quite so impressive.

Then it’s down to Newborough Forest and LLanddwyn Island and Bay. Massive car park there and it’s chokka. Beach is infested with rug rats. Dread to think what it must be like in August. Have a stroll along the beach, but Wendy balks at the prospect of walking “all the way” to the island.

Back home for afternoon tea and to battle with the wifi. It’s like being in a Neolithic village, no reliable wifi and a 200 yard to even get a 3G signal. How did they ever cope in those times?

Meanwhile, I wish the Welsh would learn how to spell and use a few vowels, with sensible, pronounceable letter combinations and just give up on everything being in Welsh. It’s the 21st century, your language is never going to be world-class and an essential requirement of career success. Teaching it in schools seems an assault on common sense.

After a refreshing cuppa – hardly drunk any coffee, as my bean to cup machine was a tad too heavy to bring – we set off to visit Porth Cwyfan, which has a church on a man-made island in the sea. The tides out, so being a devout member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I set out across a treacherous rock field to visit said church.

Encounter a guy sunbathing, complete with a wet suit, speargun, barbecue, some Sea Bass and Scallops he’s caught. What a life.

The perfect end to a gorgeous sunny day.

Exercise restraint tonight, no alcohol. Made all the more difficult while trying to watch Netflix with Internet that’s slower than a three legged tortoise dragging along a piece of wet string. Abandon and resort to watching downloads on my iPad.

Already starting with Internet withdrawal symptoms. My fingers seem to have Saint Vitus Dance as they tap our queries on an imaginary keyboard and then my hand grasps for the non-existent mouse.

Yet again the usual lazy start to the day. with the added luxury of Wendy ranting and raving about the difficulty of her knitting pattern. She needs to be thankful there is no software involved, then she’d be as mad as a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy pond.

Call in at Rhosneigr for a stroll around. It’s a really nice village a lot more up market than Aberrfraw where we’re staying, why they even have a Fat Face shop. Mind you only two customers at a time. Us Brits just love any opportunity to create and stand in a queue, I’d rather argue with a wooden Indian.

Drove up to Din Lligwy To view the Neolithic Village. I thought it was Neolithic but turns out it was at the time of the Roman occupation – bet they still didn’t have wifi. Wendy’s absolutely orgasmic with the thrill of it all. Then have a look at Moelfre, nothing really there, so it’s onto Amlwch.

Wendy has her lunch, in port Amlwch car park designed by a Bulimia nervosa suffering town planner, who must’ve been as thin as a gnat’s whisker. Sure you can park for free but there’s no room for you to open your car door – get me back to the land of giant, on the slant, parking slots. Have a stroll around the harbour. Not all that impressive.

Then it’s on up to Cemaes o view this so called spectacular Traeth Bach beach. Turns out to be a tiny shingle beach, really not worth the trip. Have a slope round a disused open caste copper mine. Then call in Llangefni to get tea. For me that’s my usual spicy Italian subway. All in all a brilliant sunny day exploring lots of different places.

Well the Internet has excelled tonight. No connection at all. End up having to walk down the road for 4G to cancel our Asda order, last thing I want is another £45 bottle of Remy Cognac that we use as a placeholder. Can’t find 4G anywhere in the village so have to settle for a very slow 3G connection.

Settle for no alcohol and Netflix downloads on my iPad.

Another glorious sunny day.

The time has come to say goodbye to this Neolithic Island, the land that even the Druids forgot.

Call in at Beaumaris on the way home but the castle doesn’t look that impressive and the car parking is expensive, which is a problem when you have short arms and deep pockets. Decide to save it for another day.

Trouble free journey home. No traffic jams – that makes a change.

Home for lunch.

Well we’ve enjoyed our time in Anglesey. Fortunately the weather was spectacular and we’ve managed to explore much of the Island. Giving serious thought to pitching our caravan here for a year if we ever get it back from France. Very handy as only 2 hours drive and kids cold get some use out of it. Perhaps the Welsh aren’t so bad after all.

One last thing to do, a review of the Ty Arthur accommodation, that’s going to be a work of restrained objectivity – see below.
 

We’ve survived. No I’m not talking about Covid-19, I mean 7 weeks with our 3 grandchildren (1, 3 and 6). They all left today (8/6/20) with our daiughter-in-law, it’s oh so quiet and we’re just getting back to normal. Track pad is back on my chair arm, drinks are on the coffee table, ornaments and lamps are back in place, the TV’s having a rest even though there’s a kiddy meal still spread all over the screen.

Well Tuesday 2/6/20 we should have been jetting off back to paradise, but alas Donald doesn’t want us and Boris doesn’t want us to leave him.

It’s alright having a retirement commandment that forbids drinking before 17:00 but when your daughter-in-law is around, who desperately needs wine by 16:00 in order to cope with 3 rug rats, it means the bottle can be empty by the time you get to it. Need to adapt and sin.

Just watching Contagion, the perfect film to enjoy during this Covid-19 pandemic. Helps if you can stay awake but a lush bottle of Carmanera makes that difficult. Try a couple of brandies to see if that helps keep me awake.

Nothing like it when all 3 grandchildren kick off at once. I’ve made a recording of the ear shattering excruciating noise so that when they’ve gone home and we’re starting to miss them – June 1st 2026 – we can play it back to remind us of the “happy” times we had. If any young couple want it as as very effective incentive for contraception then we’ll gladly let them have a copy.

This was Jasper’s English homework today. Aimed at 6 year olds, let’s see how you cope correcting this:

the morning went very quickly indeed mainly thanks to detective jane, who was amazing wearing their own badges the children talked about how to use clues to help find a missing person or item they looked at the different patterns made by footprints and took their own fingerprints with special ink

Oh dear. 3 of us spent 15 minutes on this. There should be 5 capital letters, 2 full stops and one exclamation. See answer and rant at the end of this blog.

Bloody hell only 639 calories burnt today, thats one short of the 640 needed to polish off a bottle of red wine with no weight gain.

Amazed at my own gourmet aptitude.

Great bike ride today, 3 miles downhill was a doddle. 3 mile back up hill and I’m cream crackered, the last 200 yards is a heart attack simulator. I feel like I’ve been rode hard and hung up dry – powfagged. Certainly not a PCMSC ride, I can think of one grouse on wheels who would be whining all the way down that I’m going too fast and all the way up that it’s just too difficult for a leisure ride. She’d be ratting me out to the club no doubt.

Well great news archery is back open. Suitably socially distanced of course and sadly out doors, but better than nothing. Let’s try two days this week. Still no pickle ball.

Coronavirus loading mothers with washing, cooking and home schooling

Bedtime for the rug rats. Beatrix loads her roll along suitcase with Barbie doll, 16 Disney Princesses and peeing baby doll (yes it can pee), then trundles off to bed with suitcase in tow. Then at the crack of sparrows she trundles out of our bedroom with suitcase in tow. So cute.

More inane maths homework with Jasper. These teachers just sling together repetative questions with some badly worded questions that are confusing even to an adult.

Kids playing hide and seek. Nana shouting “no you’re not hiding in the fridge, get out”.

Fiona shouting at Jasper, “Get your clothes back on.”. This child seems to love wandering around in the nude.

So much for a strict no TV before 17:00 law of retirement to only end up with constant “Oh Bear”, “Barbie Toy”, “Hungry Caterpillar”, Disney galore and other kiddy favorites all day.

19:00, hostilities haven’t ceased and they’re still all going wild, wound up like a fart in a skillet.

20:00, hostilities still haven’t ceased and they’re still going wilder than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged cat. Fiona’s polished the wine off but she’s still not chilled enough. I find it an interesting exercise in remaining tranquil as I enjoy watching them play and can marvel at how they learn. Best way to deal with the trauma, although noise cancelling hearing aids would be a great idea, then you could just turn them off, the kids that is.

Read the “Hungry Caterpillar” to Beatrix for the Xth time, followed by 30 minutes excruciatingly boring maths homework with Jasper and then assaulted by Esther in an attempt to share the reading.

How a 1 year old improves its immune system. Brushing the dogs backside with her toothbrush seems to help. Gross! Hmm… this dogs tail doesn’t taste too bad either. Meanwhile Lexi just lies back and enjoys the attention.

Picked up my mountain bike from Kurt’s. Joy, it has a back wheel puncture. Fix that and then get my exercise for the week trying to pump the tyres up with a midgets hand pump.

Putting the rear wheel back is as difficult as herding cats. Takes 30 minutes of cussing and fiddling to get it back. Why is it that most mechanical things are just so badly slung together, no thought for ease of maintenance.

It is hard to avoid the suspicion that the unions don’t really care about the data. They are doing what they always do: holding the government to ransom with children used as bargaining chips. In the midst of a crisis, it is particularly shameful.

What the friggin hell is vegan milk and vegan butter? And now we have vegan friendly hand sanitiser gel! Vegan burgers and steak was enough. If you don’t want meat fair enough, but why do you then want simulated meat? The World is going mad.

Answer to the English test:

The morning went very quickly indeed, mainly thanks to Detective Jane, who was amazing! Wearing their own badges, the children talked about how to use clues to help find a missing person or item. They looked at the different patterns made by footprints and took their own fingerprints with special ink.

I just cant believe how ludicrous this is. To expect a 6 year old to know that detective should be a capital D because it’s in front of a name, whereas normally it would be lower case. What the hell is going on in our education system to expect such trivia? We only solved it as a guess and researched it on wiki. Even English teachers get this wrong. Someone needs to get a grip. This is KS1 for gods sake.

Random thoughts and rants from PPP plague lockdown. Sorry no particular sequence just jot them down as they occur. Sadly no religious commentary but will start back with a vengeance on the next blog.

Jasper has junior monopoly and loves to play it, unfortunately, it seems to last forever, fortunately, thanks to Fiona we manage to escape it for 3 days, but eventually, it catches up with us. Can you believe that Nana cheats against a 6-year-old. Neat really, she keeps sneaking money back into the bank so that she runs out of money and escapes early.

When you have as much hair as I have it’s great to have your own personal hairdresser (Fiona) on tap 24 hours a day. A No 2 does the job.

This week’s Panorama was a classic example. In recent weeks, many frontline NHS workers have been short of personal protective equipment (PPE), thereby putting them at unacceptable risk when treating COVID-19 patients. Leaving aside the fact that there is a global shortage of PPE and other countries are struggling with the same problem, the responsibility for managing stockpiles to cope with pandemics lies with the NHS and Public Health England. Neither of these organisations received any criticism from the Panorama team. The title of the programme was not “Has the NHS failed its workers?” but “Has the government failed the NHS?“. Nor was it mentioned that the majority of those interviewed were left-wing activists with an axe to grind.

One of the programme’s main allegations was that “the government” took COVID-19 off the list of High Consequence Infectious Diseases (HCID) in March 2020, thereby allowing “the government” to weaken the guidelines on PPE use. This, it suggested, was because “the government” had failed to buy enough PPE to go round.

But the decision to take COVID-19 off the HCID list was not made by politicians. It was made by Public Health England and their equivalents in the rest of the UK, with the Advisory Committee on Dangerous Pathogens in agreement. The guidelines on PPE use by health workers may have been “weakened”, but the guidelines are set by Public Health England, not politicians. And the procurement of face masks, gloves and gowns is not the personal responsibility of Boris Johnson or Matt Hancock, but of officials in the NHS and Public Health England.

Far be it for me to defend the government, but in the absence of any evidence that politicians actively discouraged stockpiling of PPE, it seems to me that at least some of the blame for the shortage should be laid at the door of the people working in procurement at multi-billion pound organisations who are specifically tasked with stockpiling it. But no, let’s just blame “the government”.

Today’s learning, curry spoils the taste of brandy. Especially very hot curries.

7th May – Jaspers birthday party:

7 years old. The years have flown by.

Fortunately it’s a warm sunny day, for Belthorn it’s as rare as a Taliban wearing a pinny and washing the dishes for his wife.

Nanas made a cake and we sit on the back patio to open presents, cards and blow out candles on a number 7 cake. Kurt sits 12 feet away on the deck. No party but at least most of his friends have got cards and presents to him. Kurt’s done a great video for him, very funny, and he’s added loads of video birthday messages from friends and family. An awesome 20-minute production.

We bought him a kiddies Fitbit. He manages to clock up 16,000 steps.

Then he has sandpit time, football, bike ride and finally a walk down the fields.

Not quite what he was hoping for but overall not a bad day.

Just so lucky.

BBC’s stupidity with two new series, one Scottish and one Irish. Both with accents that you need a chainsaw to cut through. More chance of understanding rapid fire French and yet no subtitles. What is wrong with these people. Clueless.

All this lock down makes me feel like a Dalek whose plan to conquer the world was frustrated by a staircase.

More of Frozen 2 with Beatrix. Elsa’s my favourite but she’s so flat chested.

Not more Princesses, no more Disney. Never a drop of blood, never any real violence, not a flash of nipple and certainly no sex. Just what the snowflakes ordered. I think they need an alter ego production company.

Victors on the loose. Victors our robot vacuum cleaner who we’ve anthropomorphised by naming him after my hero Victor Meldrew.

When we were in PC coping with the panic buying of bog roll I remember sacastically plotting with Wendy how to create a new lunatic panic on coffee filter papers. Couldn’t think of any item more unlikely to be so sought after. Somewhat ironic but it now seems that panic buying Coffee filter paper has come to be a reality as people are using the coffee filter papers as virus filters in their home made masks.

I share the pride but am uneasy with the zealotry. This religion allows no doubters. Criticising the NHS is blasphemy; questioning the way it is run heresy. On the 70th birthday of the NHS a few years ago, a poll found that 77 per cent believed the NHS “should be maintained in its current form” — not, I imagine, because they think the status quo is perfect but because change of any sort has been cast as the slippery slope to destruction, privatisation, and Richard Branson cashing in on your gall bladder removal.

The crazy hour with the kids is normally 18:00 to 19:00 when they’re more hyper than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged cat, but for some reason tonight they’ve started at 17:00. Let’s pray it still only lasts for an hour.

Must still be reasonably fit from Park City as a walk up the village is done quite spritely without getting out of breathe.

Oh the joys of a 1 year old smacking you on the shin with a metal bar.

Don’t we just love it. Early morning coffee and newspapers, the dog has a barking fit, while the grandkids have a bout of lunacy, laughing, screaming, dancing and tormenting one another, in the midst of Jasper doing his maths homework with Fiona. Then Fiona shouts at Japser “Stop playing with your willie”. Hilarious times, just brightens the day.

A typical day with Grandkids in the time of the PPP Plague:

07:00 – Grandkids start their daily hostilities, exercise their vocal chords and visit us to make sure we’re awake. The daily joy begins.
08:00 – get up, good breakfast, tea and read The Times, WSJ and Apple News.
09:00 – more newspaper, Times crossword, Jasper’s homework and projects.
10:00 – coffee and deal with admin, screw ups, complaints and the like.
11:00 – more coffee, improve French and short university virology course to try and understand viruses.
12:00 – hike with Fiona.
13:00 – read, football with Jasper and Beatrix.
14:00 – coffee and read.
15:00 – walk with Wendy, Jasper and Beatrix.
16:00 – coffee and read
17:00 – Exercise and yoga. Wine time.
18:00 – tea – assuming I can survive this long
19:00 – TV and wine until bedtime. And perhaps a little brandy.

I really do have to exercise restraint to obey my laws of retirement – no alcohol, sleeping or TV before 17:00. New regime even consists of alcohol free day every other day. Times are hard.

Meanwhile I learn a valuable new skill, how to dress Beatrix’s doll.

Signed up for a free 1 month trial of Britbox. Great being able to watch “One Foot In The Grave” and the “Royale Family” again. My heroes. But don’t think I’ll be paying for this when my months up.

Another highlight of the week, Asda victuals delivery between 12:00 and 14:00, and of course a few bottles of wine to replenish diminishing stocks. Down to my last 48 bottles.

My god you forget how tiring a 1 year old is. She’s into everything, especially things she shouldn’t have. It’s just hilarious to watch and a great exercise in remaining calm. I’m quite impressed with how I’m coping and how calm I manage to remain. Never a moments respite unless she’s asleep. Will the house survive?

Gourmet highlight this week, hopefully, will be Pilchard Fishcakes.

Miserable and rainy day so no walks with Fiona, or the kids and no football, how sad, just have to settle for exercises and yoga, boring. Todays highlight, I get my mountain bike back, complete with rear puncture. Oh well give me something to do, I’ll try and fit it in with my busy schedule. Just watching the “Gruffalo Child” with the kids for the 3rd time. By way of a change they’re fighting. Bugger, it’s a no alcohol day. How will I cope.

Need to sort out 2/6/20 flights back to PC. It seems that Donald doesn’t want us back and Boris doesn’t want us to leave. Let’s hope we can get back in July.

Well it looks like we’re going to have Fiona and the kids for the next few weeks. Kurt goes back to work on Tuesday (21/4/20) and will be frontline interviewing and dealing with the dregs of our society, those with the scroat gene and having to go out to deaths in the home. Obviously more at risk than most and is concerned about bringing Covid-19 home so they’ve decided it would be safer if Fiona and the kids came up here. Low risk to us and even lower risk to them. We’ve all been isolating / distancing for 3 weeks now.

On top of that, dealing with three kids on her own, Fiona will probably end wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister’s wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. At least up here she can share the mayhem.

Seems common sense to us all. Quite looking forward to it. Will we cope? Will my wine rack cope? Be interesting a few weeks from now looking back. Just off to kiddy proof the house and fit a padlock on our bedroom door – our bolthole sanity sanctuary and shelter.

Had to pick up a click and collect of wine from Waitrose. Bloody hell, no queues to get in and as few shoppers as muslims at a midnight mass on Christmas eve. Definitely the place to come and shop. No need to social distance it’s empty.

How lucky can we be. We’ve a lot to be grateful for. We’re well fed, warm, safe and plenty to keep us on our toes. Yes, this lockdowns a tad inconvenient but there are billions of people who would just love to be suffering our deprivations.

Kids mither to watch Frozen 2 but it’s only on Disney Plus in America. VPN into Disney plus America and we get to watch it for free.

Here’s a quote from CNN for the tree huggers who worship at the shrine of organics:

“A majority of the views right now is that (the virus) is natural — it was organic,”. Oh well that makes it ok then, we’ll have two of them, wrap them up in old newspapers and pay 47% over the odds.

Turns out my free year’s subscription to the Wall Street Journal has come to an end. So now it’s going to cost me £10 a month. On top of that I’m paying £5 for the Times. Yet for £9.99 I can have a subscription to Apple News plus which also gives me access to the Wall Street Journal and the times as well as many other magazines and newspapers. Seems like a no brainer especially when you consider that I can share it with five other members of my family.

Wow, fish finger butties for tea. The one good thing about this lock down is the sparsity of vegetables for tea.

First Asda delivery. Pretty good, but how will Wendy cope not being able to read the sell by dates on cans of beans before she buys them?

Of the top 25 US National Parks there’s still 7 of them we’ve not been to. Amazed that Zion is not in the top 5.

Yoga and exercise is going well. Thankfully the exercise video reminds me to keep breathing. I wonder how many people have died because they forgot? Exercise is getting a tad too easy, I think by next week I’ll be looking for something more strenuous.

Now I know things are bad, started improving my French each morning.

A typical day in the PPP Plague:

08:00 – get up, good breakfast, tea and read The Times, WSJ and Apple News.

09:00 – more newspaper and The Times crossword.

10:00 – coffee and deal with admin, screw ups, complaints and the like.

11:00 – more coffee and digitise old photos.

12:00 – sort out decking, patio, drive and varnish adirondacks. Plus any other tasks.

13:00 – more yard work.

14:00 – coffee and read.

15:00 – walk

16:00 – coffee and read

17:00 – Exercise and yoga.

18:00 – tea

19:00 – TV and wine until bedtime.

Busier than a $2 hooker on half price night. How exciting is all that. Thankfully we never watch the news, too depressing, especially BBC News.

Using conservative figures and assumptions, a report by Derek Scissors of the American Enterprise Institute estimates 2.9 million total cases in China, rather than the total of about 82,000 Beijing reports. If Mr. Scissors is right, the number of cases that China has concealed is greater than the total number of cases reported in the rest of the world.

Now we’re out of our 14 day lockdown at least we can shop for ourselves.

Experienced our first ever click and collect from Asda. Got most of what we ordered, no substitutions and best of all they had all 7 bottles of wine I chose. Pretty neat way to shop.

Can you believe this:

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Three films on Netflix Wendy doesn’t want to watch, “contagion”, “pandemic” and “Inferno”. I wonder why?

Northerner terrifies Londoners by saying Hello: