20150513 – Goodbye Cornwall, Hello Elmer Sands


A sunny day, awesome blue sky and a tad windy, but so much better than the rain and clouds.

Bedruthan Steps.

Drive up to Bedruthan Steps. You’re not allowed on the beach in case the cliff falls in on you. What awesome beaches and views over Bedruthan Steps Beach and Red Cove. Wendy has lunch overlooking Red Cove.

Red Cove.

Then we drive back down the coast to Crantock Beach. A short stroll on the beach down the Gannel to celebrate happy memories. Then into the village for a cream tea for Wendy. No chance. Onto Hollywell beach. Again no chance of a cream tea. It seems that the famous Cornish Cream tea has died of Covid and is rarer than a Bible seller in Tehran.

Lunch at Red Cove.

Finally onto Perranporth and call in at Tollgate Farm caravan site – we stayed there in 2007. They don’t store caravans but there is a local storage place that delivers to site, that they recommend.

Finally, get a cream tea in Perranporth, and it’s very reasonably priced.

Back home for tea. Smoked Salmon followed by a Cornish Pasty with black puddings, baked beans, and lashings of Daddies sauce.

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The spledor and beauty of Bedruthan Steps Beach and Red Cove makes you glad to be a coffin dodger rarther than pushing up daises.

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In case you missed this absurdity. It seems that the snowflakes – very appropriately named in this trauma – are ready to march, riot and have Disney cancelled because the Prince kissed Snowwhite without her consent. And it gets worse, there’s even a campaign to have the Disney Snow White ride closed / cancelled. No it’s not the 1st of April. These inane clotpoles are amongst us and what’s even worse they have a vote.


Cream Tea at last.

The forecast is sunny for the morning, so we make the supreme effort and set off out by 10:00 to saunter along the coastal path into Newquay. Our last visit this trip so we celebrate with a coffee at the pub we met at back in 1968. Inside it’s a lot bigger than I remember but as for the toilets there’s not even room to flip a coin. How can lads out on the pull be able to determine how to divvy up the birds (look it up if you’re not sure) between them?

Back for lunch, then we pack ready for our departure tomorrow to number one sons for a few days.

The rocks on Port beach.

I take a stroll down to Porth beach and explore the beach and rocks. It’s a lovely little beach and if we come down here again, which we probably will if these staycations take root, then we’d be tempted to stay around here. Our current rentals comfortable, clean, only 4 minutes to the beach and we’ve enjoyed our stay. The main downside is the approach to the back door is off-putting and the road noise, although fortunately doesn’t keep us awake or wake us. Mind you it’s not cheap considering the time of year, but I suppose everyone is jumping on the covid staycation bandwagon and having a separate entrance means we can stay here prior to the 17th May.

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Great to explore the rock formations and rock pools carved out by the ocean. I’m always amazed how all these water molecules know where to go.

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It really is about time someone in this kakistocracy got a grip and solved the problem of illegal immigration from across the Channel. They’re all able-bodied young men; mostly muslims; put up in a nice comfy hotel; fed; spending money; better looked after than our pensioners or ex-servicemen; will probably conspire against us; no doubt will want the state to support them yet not be prepared to accept our norms. They are not asylum seekers, they are economic migrants. It’s simples, if you come here illegally then you should be sent back or at least to some inhospitable shit hole that we can pay to take them. It’s just pots for rags or even goldfish for jam jars.

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Goodbye single track roads with rare passing places.

Up and set off just before 10:00 to drive to Bretts. It’s a journey from hell. Across country to Elmer Sands. Drive through Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Hampshire and then West Sussex. The torrential downpours, especially through Dorest are horrendous, enough to wear out my wiper blades.

Great to get to Brett and Karine’s for a very welcome cup of tea. The house they moved into is great. On a lovely private, protected estate, with a village green in front. Plenty of room and you can walk to the beach in minutes. Have a grand tour, followed by a stroll down the beach and then get settled in with a very welcome bottle of red wine. Tea consists of Scallops with black pudding starter followed by Haddock and vegatable stir fry. All very tasty even if vegetables are involved.

A pleasant evening in catching up and watching some Now (The Good Doctor) and Netflix stand up comedy.

Great nights sleep. Wot no early morning road noise and toilet paper that doesn’t disintegrate as you tear it off the roll.

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A lovely warm welcome from Brett and Karine after the journey from hell. Good to see your kids happy and settled into a lovely home in a great setting.

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Wendy’s next knitting project?

The usual lazy start to the day with croissants for breakfast. Karine has to suffer watching me committ sacriledge to croissant consumption. They’re so much better with jam on them.

The harbour in the rain again.

Lunch followed by a drive down to a few harbours and a tour around the area. Mixed showers and we get soaked at the harbour. Call in at Aldi to pick up some essentials – wine.

In the evening it’s Coq Au Vin with a full bottle of wine in it, which certainly improves the flavour even more.

Then we try various Nationality tests. Good news is Karine passes the British one, as for the rest of us well that’s a bit dicey, lookes like we could all be put in a rubber dinght and packed off to France. Best news is we all qualify for the USA and even 100% for Australia.

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I suppose todays delight has to be the best Coq Au Vin ever and a great hoppy beer (Proper Job – let’s hope they sell it in Aldi Blackburn) from St Austell brewery.

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Were any wokes offended by this white brand ambassador, Ronald MacDonald? No because the snowflakes, greens and libtards were too busy whining about promoting unhealthy food. White lives matter.
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