For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Off early to catch the ferry from Southampton to the Isle of Wight. Given the state of our roads you have to allow a big margin for traffic jams. As it happens no major holdups, just a smattering of annoying chaos.

Arrive early so do our shop in Southampton. It would have been at snobby Waitrose, running with the big dogs, but as they can’t be bothered to provide customer toilets we head to Sainsbury’s. Now watch Waitrose’s share price plummet, serves them right.

Get to the ferry early and catch the earlier one. Wow, good customer service. It’s only an hour but sat inside with hardly a mask in sight – these selfish egits don’t have enough sense to spit downwind. Is the IoW going to be full of scrots then?

Our VRBO’s is ready and waiting for us.

Quiet night in, not even a drop of alcohol passes my lips.

 

 

 

Up and out for a tour of the South of the Island.

Start off at Shanklin. Seems a pleasant resort ideal for kids. Then onto Ventnor. Not really much there so we don’t bother stopping. Lunch sat overlooking the white cliffs of the Needles. Then it’s onto the Needles. Can’t believe Wendy’s never heard of them. £6 to park – scandolus. All there is there is a fun park village, complete with a single chairlift down to the beach. There’s an unbelievable queue to ride on a decrepit, slow lift.

We set off for a walk to see the Needles, leaving the majority in fun park hell. It’s a pleasant 1 mile walk but when you get to the end of the peninsula it’s £5 each to get into the Old Battery and see the Needles. More daylight robbery, this time from the National Trust. So it would be £16 to get a glimpse of the Needles. Give it a miss and walk back. Would have been nice if the NT had bothered to put a decent sign up warning you of the impending rip off at the end of the walk.

Joy, it’s started to rain. All part of the great British summer staycation – then people wonder why I want to escape.

Drive onto Yarmouth after calling in at some abandoned fort for a coffee. Would have been afternoon tea but having to ladle the scum off the top of your tea makes you want to shout for Huewee and Ruth. Nothing much at Yarmouth so drive onto the White Mouse, recommended to us. It’s heaving, but they have a table and a good menu – ribs. Have to queue at the bar for 10 minutes to order food and drinks. Finally get to the bar, order my drinks, no Sunday roast left they’ve run out and then told you need to join that 15 minute queue over the there to order food. And where you I ask are the signs telling you that there are two separate queues? Tell them to stuff it and leave. Just typical example of shoddy customer service and the mediocrity rampant in the UK.

After driving round to try a few other places, all fully booked up and busting at the seams, we end up at The Star in our village. It’s an American bar. Suits me although Wendy is not so chuffed. The ribs, red onion slaw, corn on the cob and fried gherkins are great. Good beer a a large selection of Jack Daniels, not really my tipple, but do get to try an american Eagle – not one I’ll be dashing out to buy a bottle of.

Back home for some wine and TV.

 

 

 

Well it’s a typical British summer holiday day, rainining cats and dogs, just stepped on a Poodle. Never mind lazy start then off to Cowes.

At least the downpour had stopped by the time we’d got to Cowes. After the usual faf trying to park we have a shuffle around Cowes and the Cowes week (sailing) market. It’s a very pleasant little town mainly due to the lack of traffic on the the main street and lots of independent shops rather than the usual homogenous glut of chain stores. And the highlight of the day for Wendy is an M & S Food store.

Drive down to Newport and am condemmed to a shop at Morrisons – as exciting as a mashed-potato sandwich. In view of the dismal performance of the restaurants we’ve decided to eat in. Never mind at least I can get topped up with their awesome, cheap ginger beer.

Have a drive through Ryde on our way to visit Anne and Geoff (A & G) in Sandown. Ryde looks interesting and may be woth a visit tomorrow.

Call in on A & G. Old archery buddies from Belthorn. Have a pleasant afternoon tea with them and catch up. They have a gorgous Tibetain Terrier dog. Never seen one before. They’ve given up archery and wanted to pass on their bows (a recurve, a compound, arrows, cases, belt and quiver) to someone who still did it. The recurve will be great as It means I can pack it in my suitcase to America – if they ever let us back in.

Back home for a delicious crab sandwich and some not so delicious Pinot Noir. And yes some more Netflix.

 

 

 

Lazy start to the day as it’s raining for a change.

Drive to Sandown. Get the chairs out and Wendy has dinner on the beach. Sitting on the beach is a rare event for us. Thirty minutes on a beach and my threshold of tolerance expires – about as much fun as going to the dentist. This is certainly not the South of France, sadly no topless, not even any eye candy. Instead a surfeit of Brownie Gobblers, waddling around, with the excess of adipose tissue. Enough to put you off sex for life. So many of them with young fat kids in the family blobby.

But entertainment was provided as a rat arsed geezer with his foot in a carrier bag gave everyone a demo on how not to kayak. Pissed as a newt, can hardly stand upright. Plastic bag on foot, probably to aid buoyancy, must have fell off 10 times in 10 minutes. Free entertainment.

Wow, stopped for a coffee at a cafe and all the staff, young girls mainly, were so pleasant and great service. Such a change these days. Even took the trouble to speak to the manager and complimented him on his recruitment and training practices.

Drove up to Ryde, hardly mentioned in the marketing blurb for the IoW but has free parking, an interesting pier and a diverse range of individual shops.

Back home for a disgusting ready meal, chicken Burrito that has a never seen the inside of a chicken. Must have been Chinese, just rice.

 

 

 

Up and off before 10:00. These days even Wendy’s up and ready on time. It’s only 20 minutes to the ferry and Red Funnel very obligingly let us catch the 10:30 rather than having to wait until 12:30.

So what is the IoW famous for? Some may say The Needles. Some may say Osbourne House. I will say a glut of Skoda and Suzukis cars. Do they give them away free to all islanders or are they special offer on cripple mobiles.I know not politically correct, but we are starting to run out of words as the Snowflakes keep ostracising words. words now cast into political incorrect hell such as lame, disabled, handicapped, wheelchair-bound, spastic and victim, all cast into do goober oblivion.

One of the worst aspects of the island is the scummy tap water. You have to scrape the scum off the top and sides of a cup of tea before drinking.

It’s a lovely little island, little being the operative word. Everything’s so close togetether, maximum of 30 minutes drive in any direction. No major highways as you end up driving through housing estates with their temporary convoluted community chicanes created by cars parked down the side of a major route.

We’ve really enjoyed it despite the mixed weather.

As for our VRBO what can we say:

Modern, light, breezy, well equipped and quality fitings. Just right for two people. Let down by some minor irritations. Needed a four wheel drive to get down the pot holed track; a shower as slippery as an ice ring; oven with no marking on the knobs, so anyones guess what we’ll get. Water and electricity worked perfectly, but as usual wifi was more flaky than a French croissant. I did complain about it but despite promises of a new repeater nothing turned up. I managed to improve Mbps but still flaky. So 3 minors and 2 majors gets them a 3 star review.

 

 

Lazy start to the day as it’s rainin’ like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock.

Up to the local fishmongers for tonights tea – Haddock, Mondkfish tails and Scallops.

We have a drive down to Chichester Marina. No chance of a coffee as the restaurant has a queue longer than muslims trying to get to the Kaba.

Drive into Chichester for a shuffle around and get the joys of M&S Food Hall – I’d rather eat my own earwax. Quite a pleasant little traffic free town though.

Drive into Bognor Regis to see what it’s like. Get out to have a sandwich on the beach but as soon as we pearch ourselves it starts to passist it down again. Bognor’s claim to fame is a Butlins holiday camp and it hold the record for the most sunshine days on England. As for the rest it’s more depressing than the Kyber pass in Blackburn.

Back for afternoon tea and sat counting raindrops.

Fish for tea washed down by a rather pleasant American Zinfindel.

 

 

 

Brett wanted me to join him for a Turkish shave, haircut and massage. Pass, rather lick piss off a nettle than have some hairy arsed Turkish imposter stroke me arms and kneck. One wrong word and I could have me throat slit.

Day out with Brett. Drove up to Goodwood airedrome. Lovely Spitfire there – see photos. Nothing against the Germans – don’t mention the war – but somewhat ironic that the winner of the Battle of Britain and an icon of us winning WWII should have a German name on it – IWC Schaffhausen. You can have a 30 minute flight in a real Sptfire, only £2,750, but what an experience that would be. Coffee watching the planes take off.

Then drove into the South Downs National Park and up to the Kingsbrook Vineyard for lunch. Even though it was white – sadly all their wines were white or one Rose – I had a very pleasant Pinot Grigo they had produced. Would have splashed out on a bottle but £19 a bottle is £9 over my limit.

Then back home for afternoon tea. A very pleasant day out.

For dinner (I’m down South so can’t call it tea) we go round to the Elmer pub. Their claim to fame is they do a Sussex Smokie, specially put on the menu for yours truly, sadly it’s only a starter. Enjoyed the food but beer leaves a lot to be desired and having maskless staff hover over you is a tad off-putting in these covid times.

 

 

Just love this living out of a suitcase. Because Wendy constantly moans about me ransacking the suitcase to find my clothes and allegedly creasing all the clothes, she gets my clothes out for me each day. It’s like having a butler, not only are my clothes neatly laid out for me, but I don’t even have to bother choosing what to wear.

Set off home after a great few days with Karine and Brett.

It’s a journey from hell. Six hours with the satnav overheating as it has to constantly re-route to avoid major delays.

Oh well a good week. Now we have to gird our loins ready for the onslaught tomorrow as we look after the rug rats for three days and two night while Kurt and Fiona have a few days away. We must be masochists or mad.

 

 

 

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Lazy start and off by 11:00.

Ok journey down and arrive about 15:30.

As usual joining instructions are a shambles. VRBO is light, modern and pleasant, but oh so hot.

Afternoon tea and then off to Waitrose to get vitals. Come across a bottle of Waitrose Armagnac. A must buy.

Then have a stroll to Mexifun for a burrito. Very tasty.

 

 

 

Usual lazy start to one of the hottest days of the year.

Off out for a stroll around Southampton. Walk the ancient walls of the city, what’s left of them. Looks like a very pleasant, modern and vibrant city. Yes, it has some dodgy areas but they’re in a minority. Wow, it’s hot.

Back home for afternoon tea and then have a stroll to a Thai food festival in the park, but not prepared to pay £4 each just to go in.

Brett and Karine arrive about 17:00. Walk around to La Regata for dinner. Get a table outside and enjoy some great Tapas.

 

 

After a very French breakfast of croissants. We even have strawberry jam to go on them. Sacrilege, jam or even jam and butter on a French national icon.

Then we’re off to the New Forest. Starting with Beaulieu house and motor museum. Browse around the house, a Secret Army museum and then the motor museum. Picnic in the shade of the trees. Strolling around the gardens, all very pleasant. A great place for a day out. Then we drive around the New Forest, relax by a lovely river site and then off for ice cream at Burley.

Back to Southampton, and a great day out nearly spoilt by traffic jam caused by cars queuing for Isle of Wight ferry (we’ll be in that queue no doubt in two weeks time).

Brett and Karine set off home. We have afternoon tea and then try and order our Sushi. Alas it’s a Monday and they, along with most restaurants, are closed.

Take a 4 minute stroll and find some restaurants open. Great pork ribs.

The perfect end to a very hot but great day.

 

 

 

Off to an early start – 10:00. Planning on a day driving around the New Forest.

Roof down and we start off at Lyndhurst. Park up and have a wander around the town. There are enough charity shops for Wendy to browse.

Then onto Brockenhurst. Just drive though.

Drive down to the coast and then along the coast to Lymington. Park up at great expense – £3 for 2 hours. Take our lunch and chairs and have it sat in the band stand. Better view of the estuary from up there. Have a stroll around the harbour but pass on a walk into town – too hot.

Then drive back towards Brockenhurst and pitch up our chairs by the river there. Try and have an afternoon tea at the local hotel, but despite enough empty tables to accommodate all of todays illegal immigrants from France they’re not ready for walk-ins, but will be in half an hour if we’d care to go for a stroll. You can imagine my retort and no we won’t be coming back in half an hour. Cricket match is on the village green.

Drive into Brockenhurst for afternoon tea at a more accommodating cottage hotel and tea room. Save a fortune.

Call in at Beaulieu village but nothing really much to see there.

As me Mother would say “there’s still plenty of countryside”.

Then it’s back home after a long hot and sunny day.

Our plans are for Sushi tonight but alas they don’t open until 17:30. Tonight’s repast, Sushi at last. Only took us 15 minutes to order thanks to the little Japanese girl whose command of the English language didn’t even run to understand open or closed on the door sign.

 

 

 

Off and away by 09:30. Drive home is fairly uneventful with just one minor traffic jam. Pick to dog up from Fiona’s and we’re home for afternoon tea by 14:30. End to a great trip. Villages in the new Forest don’t really have much to offer but it’s a scenic area and the wild ponies everywhere make it. The other good thing is that it’s not very big so you can easily backtrack on somewhere, most places are only 5-6 miles apart.

 

 

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Wow, not a bad trip down the centre of Wales. No major hold up, but sadly last 20 minuite spoilt by getting stuck behind a wide load. Yet another lack of common snese. Why aren’t wide loads limited to travel between 00:00 and 06:00?

Yet another VRBO and yet another where the host has to meet you to let you in, and of course we have to hang around for 10 minutes because theyre late. Then we have the joy of a 30 minute tutorial on how to use the TV and all other item that has electrons flowing through them. The Wifi password gives you a clue to the mentality of our host, 12 characters, mixture of upper case, lower case and numeric – bizarre, an extreme case of OCD.
Home is clean, modern, spacious and bright. Well stocked with essentials and a welcome pack of basic foods.

I think the architect who designed the place must have thought the lounge was a sleeping place for a giraffe. Never encountered a room so long – see photos.

 

 

 

The usual lazy start. Weather forecast is for clouds and rain.

We take a scenic drive over Brecon Beacons and then onto Cardiff.

It’s raining in Cardiff but we park up and have a shuffle around the shopping precinct. Wendy finds an M&S food. I think she can smell one out like a spaniel sniffer dog. Never mind at least we can get tonights tea – scallops, smoked haddock and dover sole.

Then we take leisurely ride back including a drive around Mythr Tydfel – nothing worth being there. Call in at a NP centre but it’s closed. It’s Wales what can you expect.

Scallops are ok but really not worth the money. I think we’ll pass on them in future.

 

 

 

Well this is supposed to be the best of the three days so we’re of out early.

Drive down to Talybont On Usk for a tour of some of the many Caerfanell waterfalls in the NP. A pleasant walk and we see three small water falls. Mind you it’s no thanks to the map board at the car park. No North; no scale and no indication that there are two paths. Just a lazy attitude to tourism in the NP, they really can’t be bothered – mediocrity strikes again.

Then we plan a drive down some of the back roads, but thanks to a badly placed Road Closed sign end up 5 miles down a dirt track before finding that it’s this road that’s closed. You really couldn’t make this up.

Back home for afternoon tea and then we wander down into Brecon to have a saunter around the town. Hoping to find a nice pub to sit out and have a decent pint by the canal basin. Alas no really nice pubs. The towns a bit run down but at least has a lot of individual shops. Reminds us of the 1970’s, the land that time forgot.

 

 

 

Brecon Beacons on the A4096. Means nothing to most people but officiandos of the programme “Top Gear” will know its the famous road from the programme, used to test drive some cars. It is rather scenic but only has one hairpin bend. For someone whose driven the 11 hairpin bends up and down to Serfaus in Austria many times this is a real anti-climax.

Then we head off down some single track, shock absorber wrecking roads to a do a walk to Pen Y Fan. Park up and set off despite it being a luvly shade o’ black o’er t’mother-in-laws. After a third of a mile it’s raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock so we wimp out and go back to the car. It’s probably only cost me 4 new shock absorbers.

Drive down to Neath where there are yet more waterfall walks but it’s still persisting down so we pass on that. I know there’s a distillery at Penderyn that makes a famous Welsh single malt whisky. Let’s see if we can get on a tour. Alas tour is full. Try a free sample of their Portwood single malt. I quite fancied buying some but alas was rather disappointed.

Time to loop back and drive yet another route back across Brecon Beacons.

Back home for a late afternoon tea. Order a takeaway from a Himalayan restaurant. I try the Sinsu (a nettle lamb chilli), very tasty and plenty of meat.

 

 

 

Up and away by 09:50. Just to wind us up the weather is sun and cloud.

Decide to go back up the motorways for a change. What a mistake that was. 25 minute traffic jam around Birmingham and the usual road works around Stafford.

Seems there’s a lot to be said for sticking to the A roads. May not be as fast but at least they’re more interesting and you tend to keep moving.

What is it with the Stafford section of the M6? For as long as I can remember there has always been some roadworks and holdups. This time it’s bizarre. When we only had 3 lanes there then we could travel at 70 MPH. Now we have 4 lanes but a lane full of traffic cones, so we’re down to 3 but speed limit is 60 MPH. Now you could think it’s to protect “the workers”. What workers? In over 10 miles of cones not a worker to be seen.

 

 

 

 

 

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As America and France are still closed to us, it looks like we’ll have to settle for a Staycation in the UK.

This time it’s a trip to one of our National Parks, we’re going to use this imprisonment to visit all of our NP’s. So we’ll have to grin and bear yet another trip to Wales.

Two choices of how to get there. Option 1 via motorway about 5 hours. Option 2 drive down the middle of Wales on 2nd rate Welsh roads, also 5 hours and a lot shorter. Go for option 2 as I’d rather drive a dump truck full of nitro-glycerine down rock field than suffer yet more motorways and traffic jams. Oh the joys of UK roads.

Well it takes a good 5 hours with only one 10 minute hold up, but 5 hours of driving on these roads built for horse and carts is really no fun. For some bizarre reason the satnav uses its’s initiative and takes us down the coastal road through Aberystwyth – not a place to go on my must visit list.

Arrive at our VRBO. It’s delightful, modern, spacious, quality fittings, comfortable and best of all good wifi. The best VRBO we’ve ever stayed in within the UK.

There’s wine, red and white, plus beer, and basic foods. Greeted by our friendly hosts with a refreshing draught lager.

Trip to Tesco for tea.

Quiet night in with a bottle of Italien wine from the Piemont region – it’s awesome, must ry more of these wines even though in the EU. Try and stay awake through Mosquito Coast, that good wine has its effect and these settees are so comfortable; it’s got Wendy whining on about a new settee again.

 

 

 

 

After a lazy start we’re off to explore the coast down from Solva to Milford Haven. Weather grey and miserable but thankfully we’re spared the rust invoking rain.

Thankfully the National Park is quite compact. It’s only 15 miles up to Solva and then about 20 miles winding our way down the single track coast roads. Have a wander around Solva, nothing to hyperventilate about. Has the remnants of some Lime Kilns, a not very picturesque seaweed infested harbour and a dilapidated main street with the usual touristy grot shops full of STUFF that no one needs but may think they want for a short time – soon to be in the trash bin where they belong.

Then drive down the coast and stop off at most of the little beaches. The roads are single track, would be easier to drive a car through the Kaaba doors, but fortunately there are plenty of passing places. One plus point is that most of the car parks are free for the first 30 minutes. Just enough time to saunter down to the beach, explore, be glad we didn’t have to pay to park and move on.

Finally end up at Milford Haven Marina. It’s been recommended to us but pretty dismal and most of the shops and cafes are shut, not even worthy of a coffee stop. Back home for afternoon tea, followed by some of the beer provided and the rest of that lovely wine.

 

 

Off out early. Well, 10:30 is quite a record for us. Heading down to Stacks Rock – no chance, you would end up with a 9mm round in the backside or wiped out by a mortar round, the Army firing range is in use. No chance of visiting the Govan Chapel – built into the cliff face – red flags flying there too. Next head for a walk around the Lilly Ponds – no chance car park full. Let’s drive down to Staypole – no chance the road is closed for repairs. Please, please, pretty please get me out of here and back to Park City with its wide roads; plenty of free spacious parking; no chance of being shot, at least not by the Army; good weather; so much to see and do.

Yet more narrow single track Roads some of them tighter than a ducks arse. Visit a few beaches and then decide to give up the ghost and drive on to Tenby.

Tenby is a classic Victorian seaside resort infested with coffin dodgers and zimmer frames. To be fair it does have some spectacular beaches but there again we’re not into sitting on a beach. Wendy has lunch overlooking castle beach and then we have a saunter around the town. Been there done that I won’t be bothering going again.

Call in at Pembroke. A dissapoining and tired market town with very little to offer. Aldi has to be the highlight of the visit. How sad is that.

Set off back home with a little stock at Aldi call for our tea.

Fortunately the weather turned out better than forecast with a mixture of sun and cloud. Quite pleasant although very windy on the headlands.

Afternoon tea sat out on the patio and then a quiet evening in watching yet more Netflix.

 

Up and out early. It’s a gorgeous sunny day. Time to get the roof downed enjoy it – Wendy pulls a face.

First stop St Davids. We’re lucky enough to get the last parking space. It seems that the Welsh tourist industry is founded on the basis of “Early bird catches the worm”. Have a saunter around and mange to get two Oggies – see rant below.

Then we drive onto White Sands bay. Lovely beach with facilities but £4 to just park your car for a 30 minute saunter round and lunch causes my plastic to go into a catatonic state – we pass. Drive onto Abereiddi beach, which is recommended in one of the tour guides, another car park that would gives my plastic an epileptic fit – eating Leeks must cause greed. A grey sandy and rock strewn beach – I’d rather pitch my chair and eat lunch in the middle of a mine field. Find a little cove with some “free” parking nearby. Sit and have lunch overlooking the cove and an old mill.

Drive onto Stumble head and then Fishguard – nothing to have an orgasm about. Finally get to Castell Henllys, a recreated Iron Age hill fort built on the exact location where roundhouses would have stood 2,500 years ago. It’s a tad disappointing but I really wanted to visit. There are some amazing roundhouse re-creations and interesting talks from Iron Age villagers.

Then, on the way home, to my great delight we come across the signs to Pentre Afan Dolmen (burial chamber). A dolmen (/ˈdɒlmɛn/) is a type of single-chamber megalithic tomb, usually consisting of two or more vertical megaliths supporting a large flat horizontal capstone or “table”. Most date from the early Neolithic (4000–3000 BC) and were sometimes covered with earth or smaller stones to form a tumulus.. I just have to take a detour to visit it. Wendy gives it a miss, to her it has all the appeal of a visit to the power tool department in a DIY shop..

Then the perfect end to a glorious, sunny, open top drive day as we sit out on the patio, me with a beer and Wendy with a tea. Our hosts pop out for a chat and a draught beer.

Finally, a well earned Oggie for tea. It is awesome. So much better than a Cornish pasty. Filling is tastier, the Leeks are really good and pastry is so much lighter.

 

 

 

Up for a lazy breakfast. Chuck all the clothes back in the suit case, pack the food and we’re off. It’s a 5 hour drive whether via the motorway or up the middle of Wales. Go for the scenic route up the middle and make sure the satnav doesn’t unilaterally decide on an alternate route. Slow and tortuous but at least it’s not as boring as a motorway. Six hour and a lot of cussing later we get home. Our roads are really a disgrace. Temporary traffic lights seem to spread more than Covid and sadly most of them seem to be for no other reason than the lights obstruct the road. Does no one assess the need and remove them when not needed.

 

 

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Prompt start to the day, that means we’re out by 10:30. While we get ready and motivate Wendy, Jasper plays on iPad and Switch, sometimes both at the same time. We seem to spend all our time charging up his devices. Trying to tease him off the iPad to go out is a nightmare, yet once he’s out he loves it.

Then it’s off to Twin Lakes theme park at Melton Mowbray, just 25 minutes away. Jasper can survive that long in the car without any problems, especially now he wears his accupuncture sick wrist bands.

Wow, is it expensive? £65 for a day at a theme park. This is no Disney but has plenty of rides and things to do for Jasper. Weather is gorgeous, but you forget how tiring it is just walking around, queueing nad having to go on some pewk inducing rides. Good thing about this park is it has some imaginative play areas for kids of all ages. We can sit and have our picnic whilst Jasper burns off more nergy. By mid afternoon the queues are getting intolerable. 15:30 time too escape back home.

Our VRBO rental may be weird and funky but it stays amazingly cool.

For dinner we’re off to The Wheatsheaf at Edith Weston, home to the best ribs ever in my experience. Bearing in mind I’ve experienced ribs all over America and yet these are still the best. We meet Dave and Joyce at the pub. Rest of the foods pretty good it was just the 1 hour wait, slower than a herd of turtles stampedin’ through peanut butter, that spoilt it.

 

 

 

 

A lazy start today. How unusual.

We both start the day off with a visit to the opticians for a long overdue eye test. Seems so much safer here than in scroat infested, anti-vaxer, Blackburn.

Jasper gets a tour around Oakham castle. Not really your traditional style castle but a lot of horseshoes.

Off up to Nottingham. Visit my mum and dads grave to put some flowers on. As Jasper says, “it’s sad”. Then go to look for a playground and a stones throw from the dead centre of Nottingham is a superb little playpark with some really imaganative equipement on. We have our picnic lunch whilst Jasper enjoys himself.

Then it’s the highlight of the week for Jasper as we head to Nottingham Bowl. Must be over 55 years since I bowled there. Used to be one of my regular teenage haunts. In its day it was the largest bowling alley in Europe with 48 lanes.

Jasper is so excited and so enjoys two games. Pity about the appalling customer service and the lying bitch of a manager who has no concept of customer service, the reviews were right.

Back home with a food stop at Sainsbury’s. We were going to the local pub but alas it’s steak night so Wendy didn’t fancy that.

A pleasant evening in watching more Sons Of Anarchy and Jasper finally gets to play with Oren.

Another great day but spoilt as usual by the never ending tidal wave of stupidity you encounter.

 

 

 

 

Weathers a tad dodgy today with the possibility of some rain but at least still warm.

Jasper decides he’d like a picnic, adventure playground and Bug Zoo.

It’s raining for the picnic so we have it in the car overlooking Rutland water. Then Wendy takes him to the bug zoo. He really enjoys it and has taken loads of photos to show me. Head to the adventure play ground for an hour. We were going to play crazy golf again but the weather’s a tad unreliable, Jasper’s quite happy to go home and play with Oren. Easily pleased.

Joyce and Dave come round for Fish and chips from the local chippy and to see our funky abode. Jasper’s quite content to play with Oren.

 

 

 

 

Easily pack and depart our funky abode. We’ve enjoyed it but a week was enough. That shower was like trying to shower in a plastic burka on ice with a dribble of water leaking in.

Jasper dons his sick bands and we’re off. Call in at Melton Mowbray for the all important 5 pork pies and 4 stilton’s, presents for me and our sons.

Then it’s a fairly uneventful journey up the M1 with a stop for MacDonalds of course. Amazed at the M1 nearly 4 lanes all the way and even more amazing is the lack of roadworks. Jasper takes the journey in his stride and has he can see the satnav not a single “are we there yet?”.

What a great village Market Overton is. Even has a village hall and a very active community. Thatched cottages and so much more charm than the tourist infested Cotswolds. How I would love to live there.

 

 

 

 

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Off for a week to Market Overton. Where’s that everyone ask? Near Oakham. Where’s that everyone asks? In Rutland. Where’s that everyone asks? Smallest county in England, next to Leicestershire. Where’s that everyone asks? I despair the Midlands.

Jasper is coming with us. Typical, his parents then said, what about the other two? One’s enough for now. Within 30 minutes of setting off, we’re stopped by the side of the road as Jasper’s feeling sick. The journey continues with that all common phrase that can drive every parent crazy as a bed bug. “Are we there yet?”.

Then we get lost as my navigator misses a turn we should have made 5 miles back. Whatever was life like before satnav? 18 miles going round in circles, then we’re back on route.

Now someones starving and if we don’t see a MacDonalds soon will probably die of starvation. Compromise and settle for a Burger King. Everyone agrees their chips (Fries for those who drive on the wrong side of the road) and Chicken nuggets are better than MacDonalds.

Finally arrive in glorious sunshine, 21 C to the Old Forge in Market Overton.

Jasper’s so excited. He thinks the “cottage” is so cool. His bedroom is 10/10 cool. We have to admit it’s probably best described as very funky. But it’s well equipped with a welcoming bottle of red wine, chocolates and basics in the fridge for us. He loves the lava lamp and Star Wars on the wall in his bedroom. The big question is will he sleep in it. He says he will.

We get unpacked and setup TV and chargers etc. Then it’s the delight of a trip to Tesco. Abandon hope all yea who enter there. Finally get back home for a well deserved beer and some wine – a Grenache, which I am pleased to say was good, will try some more. TV for the adults, more Sons of Anarchy, and ipad for Jasper.

 

 

Great news, Jasper slept all night in his 10 out of 10, cool bedroom, so didn’t need the blow up bed. Perhaps we should buy a lava lamp and put some Start Wars on the wall back at home.

Had a saunter around the dead centre of Market Overton. Wow, there are some old gravestones there. Your 6 square feet of inconvenience and immortality, well almost! The church seems really busy all of 6 people attended the Sunday service. Love the stocks on the village green. We really ought to bring back some of these old punishments to deal with the scroats.

Then after the usual lazy morning start, we drive to Oakham and pop in to see Dave and Joyce (my cousin). Take Jasper to a local park for a picnic and to play.

Then it’s a trip into Oakham to buy Jasper some of those wrist bands that allegedly stop car sickness. I’ll believe it when I hear it, but at least it might just be a placebo effect. Wendy, also needs some brandy. They have a nice choice of brandy but most of them are just too expensive to be polluted with lemonade. Settle on a bottle of Asbach, German brandy, haven’t seen it for a long while.

Then we drive down to Rutland Water to price up kayaks and bike hire ready for Tuesday. As you would expect on a bank holiday weekend it’s busy, with more people than good bacteria in a healthy gut.

Finally back home with plans for dinner at the Black Bull in the village. Oh sorry we’re not doing dinner tonoght. Typical. Never mind home for Hofbrau, cheeseburger and wine.

 

 

 

Another success with Jasper, he sleeps in his own room, no problem. He’s obviously getting in training for being a teenager, 08:30 he saunters out of bed.

What to do with an 8 year old. Actually, it’s dead simple just let him stay in and play on his iPad. Trying to get him out is the hard part.

We set off to Rutland water for a game of mini-golf, he really loves playing this, so excited. Then onto the adventure playground for an hours play and a picnic. Have a leisurely stroll down to the reservoir. Wow it is so busy. But Jasper really enjoys himself here.

In the evening we go to Joyce and Daves for dinner. It’s a great pick me spread including Melton Mowbray pork pie and Stilton cheese, not forgetting red wine. Awesome. Jasper has a MacDonalds, so much simpler.

 

 

 

Lazy start then we’re off into Oakham.

Go to the play park there and have a picnic. It keeps Jasper happy. Same park where I used to play over 60 years ago. They’ve got rid of the see-saw since then, health and safety no doubt, and no longer have a paddling pool.

Then we’re off to Rutland Water to go kayaking. rent a three-man sit on top kayak. Jasper’s so excited and loves it. First time “I’ve been on a sit-on kayak. Certainly not very comfortable, kills your back and within 30 minute my foots gone dead, but they all seem to be going to sit on’s, I suppose they’re a lot safer if they tip over. Having said that they’re very stable and I wonder how many people ever drowned in a sit-in kayak? Give me a sit-in kayak any day.

Then it’s off to Aldi, followed by dinner at the Old Buttercross, not easy to find and a pretty good menu but all the foods pre-pared by a microwave operative, no chef needed. Everythings just microwaved.

 

 

 

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Usual lazy start, even at Bretts. Then we have a drive down to Arundel. Quaint little town with splendid castle (closed). Pleasant walk down the river and view our kayak start point for tomorrow.

Drive onto Littlehampton, sadly the fishmnoger we wanted to buy a load of fish from, to take home, is closed but call in at a Brewhouse which sells draft beers in flagons – remembered those from nipping to the Offy (off license) way back when.

I really fancy trying a Sussex Smokie but the pub that does them is closed. The first day theyre allowed to open for indoor customers, after 3 months lockdown, and the lazy arses are closed – no enterprise.

End up going to the Lobster Pot cafe on the beach. Fortunately they don’t sell beer so I’m not tempted to break my no drinking during the day commandment. Never mind soon be 17:00.

The weather is weird. One minute clear blue sky, next minute it’s rainin’ like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock. Then back home for afternoon tea.
 

Brett and I are up and out for 09:20 to spend the day kayaking up the river Arun. It’s only the fastest flowing river in England and we’re going 14 miles upstream against the current. Fear not they said the tide will be going in so it will be easy. Fortunately we have touring sea kayaks which are sleek and efficient. Bad news is they are that sleek they tip easy.

Well it turns out they got it all wrong and we end up paddling against the current for 5 hours. We even had to paddle to just stand still. Seems we set off too early and yesterday’s rain is delaying the incoming tide. As fast as we paddle upstream we’re running ahead of the incoming tide. Amazing that the tide goes 25 miles inland on river Arun. After 5 hours we’re able to dock and get out for lunch.

Amateurs strike again. But despite it all we have a great day out on the water and the weather remains sunny.

Abandon the whole 14 miles at the halfway point. It would have been a 20:00 hours finish, if we’d have survived the whole trip.

Wendy gave the kayaking a pass and went shopping, it’s what women do best. Karine had to work. Brett and Karine have it made, they both work from home in their separate home offices.

Back home for an excellent Moussaka, cooked by Wendy and Karine with interference from Brett. He really couldn’t resist dabbling.
 
Perfect end to a great day.

Well end of our 4 days with Brett and Karine as we set off back home. Really enjoyed our stay. Off on the road by 10:00, a record for Wendy. A congestion free trip home.

 

Esther is delivered at the crack of sparrows a two day sojourn.

Well after 10 months Wendy Finally gets to see a consultant face to face about her back. Well not really the consultant merely one of his underlings. It only took them 6 months to arrange an MRI and then 4 months to reviewew the results. In the meantime they weren’t aware she even had an MRI and were convinced she’d had a steroid injections. Just clueless and inept. They couldn’t organise an orgy in a brothel.

Anyway they finally decide on a plan of action. No point in steroid injections as they wouldn’t know where to inject. Surgery is no use. Turns out she just has to put up with it, physio therapy and pain management. 9 months to come to that. I’ve been telling her for months to go and see our physiotherapist. Oh and they’ll review in 6 months.

Wendy phones the physio when she gets home and thanks to a cancellation she gets to see our physio that afternoon. He sounds confident he knows what the problem is and can improve it. Gives her some traction, some exercises to do and plan of a 4 week traction and acupuncture course. Well even if the traction doesn’t fix it at least she may be able to reach the top of the kitchen cupboards after it. Amazing what private medicine can do. Now we need to get copies of the MRI scan so that if we go to America we can get a second opinion.
 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

A sunny day, awesome blue sky and a tad windy, but so much better than the rain and clouds.

Drive up to Bedruthan Steps. You’re not allowed on the beach in case the cliff falls in on you. What awesome beaches and views over Bedruthan Steps Beach and Red Cove. Wendy has lunch overlooking Red Cove.

Then we drive back down the coast to Crantock Beach. A short stroll on the beach down the Gannel to celebrate happy memories. Then into the village for a cream tea for Wendy. No chance. Onto Hollywell beach. Again no chance of a cream tea. It seems that the famous Cornish Cream tea has died of Covid and is rarer than a Bible seller in Tehran.

Finally onto Perranporth and call in at Tollgate Farm caravan site – we stayed there in 2007. They don’t store caravans but there is a local storage place that delivers to site, that they recommend.

Finally, get a cream tea in Perranporth, and it’s very reasonably priced.

Back home for tea. Smoked Salmon followed by a Cornish Pasty with black puddings, baked beans, and lashings of Daddies sauce.
 

The forecast is sunny for the morning, so we make the supreme effort and set off out by 10:00 to saunter along the coastal path into Newquay. Our last visit this trip so we celebrate with a coffee at the pub we met at back in 1968. Inside it’s a lot bigger than I remember but as for the toilets there’s not even room to flip a coin. How can lads out on the pull be able to determine how to divvy up the birds (look it up if you’re not sure) between them?

Back for lunch, then we pack ready for our departure tomorrow to number one sons for a few days.

I take a stroll down to Porth beach and explore the beach and rocks. It’s a lovely little beach and if we come down here again, which we probably will if these staycations take root, then we’d be tempted to stay around here. Our current rentals comfortable, clean, only 4 minutes to the beach and we’ve enjoyed our stay. The main downside is the approach to the back door is off-putting and the road noise, although fortunately doesn’t keep us awake or wake us. Mind you it’s not cheap considering the time of year, but I suppose everyone is jumping on the covid staycation bandwagon and having a separate entrance means we can stay here prior to the 17th May.
 

Up and set off just before 10:00 to drive to Bretts. It’s a journey from hell. Across country to Elmer Sands. Drive through Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Hampshire and then West Sussex. The torrential downpours, especially through Dorest are horrendous, enough to wear out my wiper blades.

Great to get to Brett and Karine’s for a very welcome cup of tea. The house they moved into is great. On a lovely private, protected estate, with a village green in front. Plenty of room and you can walk to the beach in minutes. Have a grand tour, followed by a stroll down the beach and then get settled in with a very welcome bottle of red wine. Tea consists of Scallops with black pudding starter followed by Haddock and vegatable stir fry. All very tasty even if vegetables are involved.

A pleasant evening in catching up and watching some Now (The Good Doctor) and Netflix stand up comedy.

Great nights sleep. Wot no early morning road noise and toilet paper that doesn’t disintegrate as you tear it off the roll.
 

The usual lazy start to the day with croissants for breakfast. Karine has to suffer watching me committ sacriledge to croissant consumption. They’re so much better with jam on them.

Lunch followed by a drive down to a few harbours and a tour around the area. Mixed showers and we get soaked at the harbour. Call in at Aldi to pick up some essentials – wine.

In the evening it’s Coq Au Vin with a full bottle of wine in it, which certainly improves the flavour even more.

Then we try various Nationality tests. Good news is Karine passes the British one, as for the rest of us well that’s a bit dicey, lookes like we could all be put in a rubber dinght and packed off to France. Best news is we all qualify for the USA and even 100% for Australia.
 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Well another lazy start to the day. Forecast is rain, wind and cloud.

I’ve dreamt up a new software project to keep me happy. This will allow all 2 of my blog flowers to select or deselect the visibility of any of my various rants. Not so much as pandering to the snowflakes, wokes, and libtards, more about a little software project. Really need to come up with a decent project to keep the grey matter from atrophy.

Set off for a stroll into Newquay along the headlands and coastal path.

Lunch of butties (at least for her indoors, I stick with a couple of healthy Dates) sat like a couple of escaped geriatrics on a park bench watching the surfers. All we needed was our slippers and pajama bottoms to complete the picture.

Stroll back. It seems that the majority of the tourists are so very poor that they can’t afford jean or trousers without a tare in them. I’m oh so tempted to go up to a few of them and give them a pound towards some new ones. Then we encounter the beggar who, according to his childish sign, seems to have more birthdays than the queen. Every day is his birthday. Yet again we encounter the Newquay blue super freak, tattoos and piercings everywhere, and holes in his ear lobes big enough to hang your washing out on. I’m sure he along with the Smurfs will be offended by Morris dancers painting their faces blue. Just goes to show you can’t please everyone, so the best philosophy is to always please yourself.

Why do Blackbirds stand on one leg? Well, it appears that it is to minimise heat loss.

Afternoon tea. Then an awesome pizza with lashings of Pepperoni. Again, the weather has turned out sunny for teatime.

 

Yea, kippers for breakfast. That’ll stink the house out for days.

Now that my software project is finished – try it above – what next.

I know I’ll vacuum the carpet. Can you believe that anybody would buy a vacuum cleaner like the one in this apartment is an absolute disgrace in design, it’s one of those drag-along ones, surely the first time you used it you take it back and demand your money back and that the designer was sacked. The cleaning head just bounces along the carpet so makes no difference. I might just as well chalk out a pentagram and boil frogs.

Drive up to Pentire and set off for a walk to the headland. Wendy backs out after 15 minutes, too hilly and windy. The views from the headland are awesome, but the wind is strong enough to blow your hearing aids out. When I get back Wendy is chatting to a couple who are caravanning down here. Bloody hell the geezer can talk for Europe, never shuts up, amazing he gets enough oxygen with all that talking. Just manage to escape with our ears still intact.

Wendy wants to go to M&S, so off we go. What a waste of time, of course they don’t have what she wanted.

Press are reporting a hot July forecast. What planet are these people living on? No one seems able to forecast tomorrow’s weather never mind two months ahead. I have 3 forecast apps and they’re all about 120 degrees apart. They never agree.

After afternoon tea we drive up the coast and stop off for an excellent pint of Tribute Ale, St Austell Brewery, at Mawgan Porth. Certainly the best part of the day, glorious sunshine, yet again.

Tea tonight is a medley of fish we’ve never tried, Red Mullet, my favourite; Cornish Brill, not much taste, vey delicate, a ladies fish; Monkfish, tasty and somebody to it. As a nation, we’re surrounded by fish and should start to eat more of it.

Will we ever get to finish “Sons of Anarchy” or “Schitts Creek”? Nearing the end of “For ALL Mankind”. Watching the Sons of Anarchy parties is enough to make you want to buy a motorbike.

Lazy start and forecast is not good. All three forecasts are not good, but all in different time frames and levels of gloom and doom, so it’s off to St Ives for a saunter around, probably in the rain.

Have a wander around St Ives in the intermittent drizzle. If I smell or see yet another Cornish pastie shop I’m going to have my throat sewn up and my nostril stuffed.

The whole place is a picture of a washout English holiday, compounded by the Covid restrictions not allowing any indoor food or drinks. If ever there was a need to understand why so many Brits go abroad for their holidays, this is it. Wendy catches the bus back up to the free car park. I go for the exercise. All the way up the steep steps is one hell of a free HIIT workout.

Decide to drive back up the coast road to explore Portreath, Port Towan and St Agnes. At least by now the rains stopped and it’s starting to get a bit sunnier. Portreath is a pleasant little place with a nice cove. Best that can be said about Porth Towan is that there are plenty of pubs and eating places. As for St Agnes it’s just a sizeable inland village.

By the time we get home for afternoon tea, the suns out and all is well with the World.

Decide we’ll have a stroll down to the Mermaid Pub on Port beach. The sun is out and it’s lovely to just sit and have a pint, or two, of Tribute Ale. Thats, after you’ve downloaded the app to order and pay for your drinks, which then take just under 20 minutes to arrive. And this is progress?

Have chats with Fiona and then Kurt rings for a chat. Finally finish off “For All Mankind”, somewhat underwhelming. Apple certainly need to do better. I really cannot see Apple TV surviving. Why didn’t they use some of their cash mountain to buy up an existing player and get some collateral?

It’s a luvly shade o’ black o’er t’mother-in-laws. Well a rainy and cloudy day forecast. Perhaps the worst so far. We hunker down for the day with the highlight being a trip to Sainsbury to buy some bin liners.

Turns out the forecasts are right, it rains nearly all day but then at teatime out comes the sun again.

If ever there is day to make you want to be out of this goddamn sodden country then today is that day. Get me out of here to Park City. And to make matters worse it’s a no alcohol day – sure, drinking kills brain cells – but only the weak ones.
 

Lazy start and then we’re off to Crantock, Hollywell and Perranporth. A pilgrimage to old holiday haunts both from when we first met and subsequent holidays with the kids. You forget how narrow the roads are down here, with giant hedgerows so you can’t see any of the scenery. A bit like driving down a tube, but the hedgerows just team with flora and wildlife.
Pass on going on Crantock beach. Park up on Hollywell bay where they’re filming some secretive film or TV series. All very hush, hush and no one claims to know what it is. Could it be Poldark? They’ve filmed that here before. Will we get to see that tasty wench Demelza? There’s certainly a mass of gear being set up, why they’ve even installed a road across the beach. While wendy stuffs her face with lunch I climb up the sand dunes to see what is going on. As I get near to all the gear being set up two security guards, from a flock of guards, swoop down on me and want to be very friendly and deter me from approaching closer or taking pictures. Bear in mind they’re not filming, just setting up and have taken over a lot of the beach. They try to stop me from taking photographs. Claiming there are young children there and it would be improper. As you can see from the photo there are no young children. “Where are these young children then.” Oh, they’re down there they say. “Oh, have you imported them in as an excuse to stop anyone photographing? I see no children”. But hang on a minute if these invisible children are going to be in a film why should my photographing be a problem? I take photographs. They try and stop me walking over the sand dunes.

Plenty of fond memories of Hollywell bay and the kids enjoying their blow up dingy in the stream there. Great thatched pub selling real ales. Happy days.

When wendy finished her nosh and I’ve had my 3 Dates we set off to Perranporth.

Well, Perranporths not changed much. Such a nice little place, not as big and busy as Newquay. Again many happy holidays there staying at Lillian’s guest house.

Afternoon tea for two and then we set off back home.

Wendy goes in to make tea whilst I set off to explore the headland and the blow hole on Porth beach. Not much of a blow today. Need to go when the seas a lot rougher. Never mind, still a lovely stroll.

Watching “Ted Lasso”, one of the few decent series on Apple TV, when I’m distracted by a pornographic episode on a neighbour’s roof. Two seagulls are at it like rabbits. Hang on a minute one scampered off to the roof apex, must be the female with a headache.

Despite the original forecast of rain, it’s turned out sunny with clouds and no rain. Fortunately that wind has died down. Another pleasant day.

Turns out they are filming the prequel to “Game of Thrones”, called “House of the DRagon”, must be costing a fortune.

After our usual lazy start we set off the Wadebridge. There’s, a fishmonger there, rarer than a bible seller in Tehran, we want to go to as well as exploring the town. The town was a tad underwhelming. The fishmongers was a great experience. Good choice of fresh fish. Plenty of advice on what to choose and even how to cook it. The mackerel had been caught just this morning and we even get to see the fishing boat responsible. Fortunately, this guy just loves his job, can fillet all our fish for us and has even won prizes for his filleting skills. As well as some dressed Crab, we buy some Cornish Brill and Red Mullet to try. It’s always a pleasure to meet people who obviously love their work.

Then we set off to Padstow. This place is another that seems to think that all parking spaces should be just big enough to shoe horn a Renault Twizy into. The harbour area is heaving but we manage to find a form to sit on and enjoy our mid-day repast. Take a stroll around the harbour, down to a beach which never seems to materialise and then, of course, wander around a few cute shops selling all sorts of junk that people may want but certainly don’t need and soon will grow tired of.

Off then to visit Doc Martin at Port Isaac. Drive down some of the narrowest roads ever. Best to turn the wing mirrors in. Well, this place is a tad disappointing. Not really much there, but some good exercise up the hill back to the free car park (only to May 17). Finally, find somewhere for afternoon tea in the grounds where they film the schoolyard in Doc Martin.

Back home for a great Crab and Smoked Mackeral salad, topped off by a luscious Primitivo from Morrisons.

A sun and cloud day, and no rain.

After lazy start we set off down to Mevagissey. A classic cornish harbour, complete with grot shops and tourists. We’ve been before but like my breakfast, I can’t remember it. At least it’s easy to park and doesnt need a 2nd mortgage. Have lunch by the harbour and a very short stroll around.

Then I have this mad desire to go explore Portmellon. It seems that the only route there is by the narrowest of alleyways that you need to pull your wing mirrors in to get through. Passing places rarer than a Christian church in Tehran. And what a disappointment, nothing there to write home about. Journey back down through Mevagissey (can I spell it the same twice in a row) is a throwback to the good old days of motoring, when you had a man in front with a red flag. In this case, it’s Wendy in front, sans red flag, trying to stop dimwits creating the need to reverse. Typical, she gets told to F Off by one lemming. Well, now I know what’s at Portmellon. We certainly never be going there again and perhaps it’s a lesson to not be ruled by your desires.

What a coincidence. Prior to today I had never heard of, nor seen a Renault Twizy car until I was doing my blog and wanted the name of the narrowest car. And then on the way to that place we encounter a Renault Twizy, ideal for those roads but certainly not on my wish list.

Decide to call in at St Austel on the way back. Hmm…, another town in its death throws, with the usual surplus of charity shops and empty shops. Does have a nice town square with some hearty wench serenading inattentive tourists and fleeting locals.

Back home for afternoon tea. No real hike today.

Dinner is a fantastic fry up of bacon, egg, beans and best of all black puddings.

Listen to the Covid update from the house of the chief of the kakistocracy. So where can we travel to beyond these wet and windy shores after 17th May? There’s only 12 on the Green list – can travel to, “no quarantine” status – and France and America are not on it. The United States (Uk is still on the USA’s “Do not travel” advisory) and most of Europe are on the UK’s “amber” list – no travel to amber list countries or territories for leisure purposes and requires arrivals back to UK to self-isolate for 10 days and pay for two PCR tests. Well for now that puts the kibosh on going to France or returning to Park City for at least another 4 weeks. Other than Israel and Ireland there’s nowhere on the green list I fancy going and her indoors thinks she’ll get blown up if she goes to Israel. Mind you the way things are shaping up in NI that could be a worry in Belfast. Meanwhile, we need to understand when they say Ireland is on the green list is that Southern Ireland (EU Country) as well?

All very disappointing, so it looks like plan B for June – Irish road trip.

Will we ever get the caravan back from France before outright war is declared with the EU?

Very lazy start as it’s rain all day.

Off to explore Truro. Seems the best we can do on a rainy day.

It’s a lovely town. Plenty of diverse shops; no homogenised shopping; and best of all a traffic-free centre. Hardly notice the rain. Its other claim to fame is that it seems to have the only Natwest Bank in Cornwall. Alas they can’t be bothered to open at the weekend. Is it time to look for another bank?

Manage to finally purchase some kitchen knives for Wendy. This time it’s ones with the blade all the way through the handle so hopefully, they won’t snap. Sadly made in China but razor-sharp. The question now is how do we get them home without being arrested for carrying two dangerous weapons?

How can it take 20 minutes to go into a shop to buy some wrapping paper – I despair.

Pop into Waitrose on the way home for the weekly shop. Home delivery is so much better. My threshold of tolerance is about 5 minutes, by which time I’ve bought all I need and am ready to go to the car and play on my iPhone. Seems very similar to Jasper’s behavior with his iPad.