For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Two weeks posting this week as we’ve been a tad busy.

Lazy start then off to Heber for bowling with Mike and Joe.

Afternoon is the highlight of the week with a trip to the supermarket. This week it’s Fresmarket for a change. Won’t be shopping there again – too pricey.

In the evening Mike picks me up and we’re off down to Salt Lake for a minor league baseball game. My very first game, so lots of questions and I’m still not sure I fully understand it – need a YouTube video – see below.

It’s all very civilised and thankfully faster and more action than cricket. We had great seats, not vey crowded and a lovely balmy sunny evening. Great special deals on beer, even if it is all American, and you can have a drink watching the game. How civilised is that. Not a single punch up in the spectators and hardly any swearing. Although like all sporting events the world over it seems like the umpire was incompetent and at least 25% of the spectators could have done a better job. Quite a few families and women spectators. All very relaxed and they even have a train ride for the kids. Bumble Bee mascot marauders around the spectators and even have a Mexican band playing music. Best of all they have great junk food selection, hot dogs and pretzel to name but a few we sampled.

Sat behind us was an all American gob. Everything is bigger over here and this guy certainly had the gob on him to meet that exacting bigger standard. He never shut up, loudly boring the women next to him and the crowd with his life story, the great I am. The detective in me can only assume that he was on a first social media date with the women next to him. And I can only assume that if she wasn’t deaf it will be his last. Why do I come to that conclusion that it was a first date? She was too old to be his daughter. Certainly couldn’t have been his wife as married couples don’t talk that much in all of 50 years of marriage. No sane women, who wasn’t stone deaf, would ever go on a 2nd date with him.

But it was so kind of him to share his upbringing; his mummies discipline; his moral rectitude; his Bluetooth use of Facebook; his travels; but the piste resistance had to be sharing with the crowd full details of his colonoscopy and other medical procedures.

A great evening and despite the gob very enjoyable. Will have to go again when the kids come out.

 

 

Lazy morning.

After lunch I finally manage to lead a bike ride. Only 3 of us but it was a good ride from Maxwells all the way up to the Old White barn. It was tough but we just about made it, even the electric bike lady, and my watch confirmed I was still alive. Back to Maxwells was all downhill, that’s my sort of ride.

For some bizarre reason PCMSC doesn’t approve of ebikes. What the hell, I really don’t give a rats, if it means that people get out, enjoy themselves and possibly get a bit of exercise why does it matter?

In the evening we go round to Carols for dinner. So good to see her and Angela after two covid years. Wow, Angela’s shot up and is so grown up. Carol has a lovely 4 bedroom town house down at Jeremy Ranch. We’d so much to catch up on.

 

Up early for shooting. Mike said we could pistol shoot with some newcomer guy called Jim. Turns out that Ken – the guy who originally taught me to shoot a pistol was doing a free defensive shooting class. 100 rounds of structured drills. Bottom line on defensive shooting seems to be keep shooting at your own pace, don’t pause or stop until the threat has been completely eliminated, that’s a euphemism for very dead. The last drill was 5 rounds at 1 second intervals; drop the empty clip; reload; then 5 more rounds at 1 second intervals. Squeeze that trigger slowly.

I had no idea this was going to be on the agenda, but I am glad I did it. What amazed me was how the rapid firing seemed to get more on target than the earlier drills with more time to aim.

After that it’s a couple of rounds of Clay Pigeon shooting. Not too bad on the first round, 12 out of 25, trying to focus on the follow through. 2nd round was a miserable 9 out of 25, trying to focus on starting with the barrel horizontal. Being a man there’s no way I can do two thing at once, but the free tuition is very welcome. Next time it’s focus on follow through, horizontal barrel and don’t forget to chamber the round.

Yea, it’s Jaspers 9th birthday. Get to FaceTime him and see all his presents. Looks like he’s had a great birthday. Pity we couldn’t be there for it. He’s a great kid, growing up and so proud of him. Happy birthday Jasper.

After lunch Wendy and I do the Snow Top loop. I wanted to check it out for an easy hike. It’s another one of my favourite hikes, but a counter clockwise direction means you end up on a never ending, steep, switchback. Think best to go round clockwise. I’m in the dog house because I wanted to storm on up the switchback to get the ticker pumping. By pushing yourself it’s the only way I’m going to get acclimatised to 7,000 feet.

 

Lazy morning.

Drive down to T J Max to see if they’ve got any grey / blue jeans. Sadly no.

Have a walk to Merril’s at the Outlet Centre to get a pair of hiking trainers for Wendy. Can’t find any that fit well. Gets a pair from Columbia and they’re cheaper and she even negotiates a further reduction – smart shopper.

I try the Levi store for some grey / blue jeans but alas no.

 

Up and out for 10:00 to play Pickleball. Great game just wish they didn’t play so early. Don’t they realise geriatrics don’t get up early.

It’s snowed and frozen over night so spend 5 minutes freezing to death as I clear the car.

After lunch Wendy and I go for a stroll up to the supermarket, and catch the bus back with our shopping.

 

 

 

Lazy morning.

After lunch Wendy tootles off to the CC whilst I lead an easy hike around Masonic Hill. One of my favourite hikes with great 360 degree views around PC.

One of the walkers, 82 years old, starts feeling dizzy. Says he gets these dizzy spells on hikes. OMG is he going to peg out? Has he signed the waiver? Should he really be coming on hikes if he’s that unfit? There’s still about 30 minutes of ascent until we reach the top. We slow down and let him take the lead. He survives along with everyone else. A gorgeous sunny hike.

 

 

I’ve talked Mike into playing pickleball again so we set off down to Basin Rec. Looks like most people have gone to the 8 free courts at Willow Creek so we set off there. Only recognise one player. Have about 6 exhausting games. At least my watch says I’m still alive. The players here tend to be in fixed groups of 4 with less mixing it up like there is at Basin Rec. But it’s free.

After lunch Wendy and I take a 3 mile stroll to the supermarket and back to get some baked beans. Tonight’s teas is Mikes awesome ribs he gave us and some of the best Tiramaso we’ve ever tasted – a Red Cross meal.

Hey, great news, apparently you can freeze baked beans so you can buy the cheaper bigger tin and freeze those you don’t use.

 

 

Off down to Heber bowling alley with Joe. Bugger me all the lanes are pre booked for a group of kids, As if they couldn’t have spared one lane for us geriatric regulars.

Plan B go for a walk around Round Valley. Sunny, windy and cool. Yet again I have no hat as I thought I was going bowling. Fried yet again.
Afternoon is the usual treat of a trip to the supermarket with Wendy. This time I think I have a plan. These are advertised as being good for external pain relief. Will have to try them to see if they make a trip to the supermarket pain free.

 

 

Lazy morning.

Afternoon Wendy’s off to the CC and I’m supposed to be leading an easy bike ride. No one turns up so no ride.

A gorgeous warm sunny day. This is more like it. Hopefully the snows behind us now.

In the morning it’s a trip to the Outlet stores for a pair of casual, lightweight trainers. as usual they don’t have the ones I originally wanted in my size, but find an alternative pair. Sketchers, so lightweight and comfortable.

Then after lunch Wendy and I explore a hike off North Old Ranch Road. Awesome views with a steep downhill section great for mountain bikers. Wendy didn’t approve of it but I’ll keep it for an Easy Hike. Really should have been wearing my shorts, much too hot for jeans.

 

Another gorgeous hot sunny day. This time I’ve got my shorts on. Explore a circular hike around trailside with Joe. Just over three miles, no shelter but will make a great Easy Hike even if there are too many bikers at the weekend.

Late afternoon Kim and Phil arrive. We haven’t seen them since our Japanese cruise, so its great to see them again. They’re here all week staying with us and in their Airstream over in Heber.

Great meal followed by a few bottles of wine and some whiskey and bourbon. Wow, I do like that Basil Haydn Dark Rye and so does Kim. It’s amazing.

After a great evening I stagger upstairs to the instant rest of the righteous. They’re definitely a bad influence. In japan they even got Wendy rat arsed on Martinis.

 

Drive over to Heber to teach Phil how to play Pickleball. He’s a natural, takes to it like a duck to water. Typical when an ex tennis player takes up pickleball, within minutes they’ve mastered the strokes. So frustrating for those of us who did not play tennis and have to struggle on.

In the evening we go over to Phil and Kim’s Airstream for dinner. It’s a gorgeous evening, so just like being in Belthorn, we get to sit out for dinner.

 

 

Off swimming with P&K. First time in about 10 years.

So I chuck my towel and clothes in the back of the SUV, along with car keys in the pocket and close the boot. The damn car then locks me out. I’m spitting feathers. Fortunately Phil has AAA. The guy turns up in about 45 minutes and it takes him just 3 minutes and hey presto the cars open. How worrying is that.

Finally get to swim.

In the afternoon P&K come on my Snow Top hike. What a bizarre mix of weather, sun, cloud, windy and sprinkling of rain.

For dinner we all set off on the free bus to Main Street and have dinner at the No Name Saloon. They do an awesome Reubens, the best I’ve had for years. The we troop off down to the High West saloon. Typical the main saloon is closed for a private event but we manage to get high stools at another of their bars – fortunately no nose bleed. Phil and I try the flight of whiskey – Bourbon, Double Rye, Rendezvous Rye and Campfire. Disappointed with the Bourbon; Double Rye is pretty good as always; Rendezvous Rye is pretty good and has a point score of 99; Campfire is pretty good. I suppose the Rendezvous has to be the winner but at $70 a bottle versus $35 for Double Rye it does make you think.

Anyway a good evening and as usual some engaging, if somewhat New Yorker boisterous conversations with others at the bar.

Back home for some more drinks. P&K stay overnight to save the drive back to

 

Lazy morning. Then out for a subway lunch with P&K.

Set off up to the ski jump museum and eat their splendid repast. Sadly it’s closed, opens tomorrow. So we can’t even take a stroll to the top station to take a death defying view down the ski jump.

Settle for lunch outside the Old Barn.

In the evening Phil and I go down to the gun range for some target practice.

On the way home we call in to pick up the Chinese takeaway we’ve ordered. Damn me if the Szechuan Chinese isn’t closed – won’t be using them again – but then I remember we ended up ordering from Full House Chinese. These old age is a bugger.

Pleasant evening with some alcohol.

 

 

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Wendy and I go bowling with Mike at Heber. The bowling alley’s really quaint, dates back to 1962 and not changed much. Food, mainly American junk food, so much better than all that healthy shit and cheap. No wonder it’s so popular with the locals. At $5 a game they’re not greedy.

After lunch it’s my weekly treat with a trip to Smiths. Oh how I look forward to this quality time spent with Wendy.

New regime is we treat ourselves and go out to dinner once a week. Tonight we go to the Boneyard. I have the hot Italian, delicious. Not sure what healthy stuff Wendy had.

 

 

Very lazy morning writing some software to simplify activity cancellation. I just love the challenge.

After lunch Wendy trots off to the CC.

Snow showers means I cancel my Easy Bike ride yet again.

I take a stroll to the bank and then go and meet Wendy. Just love how we can walk or cycle everywhere. Snow showers don’t materialise.

Lazy morning.

Have a walk up to the supermarket with Wendy.

Then after lunch it’s a short bike ride down the rail trail and back.

In the evening Mike comes round for dinner and we have a great evening with him.

Very lazy morning. Finally manage to get Wendy motivated.

We’re off to do one of my favourite walks around Masonic hill. Great 360 degree views. It’s a 3.5 mile walk, 2 miles undulating but mainly uphill and followed by 1.5 downhill. I get plenty of earache from Wendy about the uphill section and then it’s a constant stream of “it’s a long path”, “are we there yet”. Anyway she makes it. Well done. At least it stayed dry with the odd glimmer of sunshine.

No time left to cook a chicken for tea so we try a Panda Express. Wendy loves them, but alas not anymore.

Off to pickleball. Manage about 5 games. I’m cream crackered after that, this 7,000 feet altitude takes it’s toll.

After lunch Wendy tootles off to the CC whilst I try out one of my bike ride over Park Meadows (exchausting uphill section), down into Round Valley and then back along the Rail Trail.

 

Very lazy morning. Snow showers and sunshine.

Despite the snow showers my Easy walk from Round Valley along the Rail Trail. Six hardy hikers make it, including Wendy. Whilst it was a tad cold at least it didn’t snow and was in the main sunny.

 

A snowy and cold day.

Up and out for 10 while 12 pickle ball. Wow, it’s still exhausting but fun.

Lazy afternoon for a change.

In the evening I finish off a lovely Zinfandel and yet more Netflix.

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Lazy start to the day. Given the gaping chasm in my mouth where my wisdom tooth was it’s only soft foods, porridge, for me.

By way of another treat I get to go to the Market for the weekly shop. Fortunately won’t be going there again as Wendy says they’re too expensive. But they do have some great coffee.

I was supposed to be leading an easy bike ride but the raging tornado put everyone off. Thankfully, what with the winds and my missing wisdom tooth, no one turned up.

Wow, these Cocodamol that Wendy has certainly do the trick.

Tried to purchase an aeropress but couldn’t find one anywhere, so ended up ordering off Amazon.

In the evening we went over to Joe and Donna’s for drinks and to see their new house. Then off to Black Rock restaurant for dinner. I’m still on soft foods so opt for French onion soup and cheesecake. One of the few benefits of a wisdom tooth fiasco. But the real good news is that recommendations on alcohol after loosing your wisdom tooth seems very varied. Ended up identifying one respected article that was 24 hours. The worst, recommendation, rapidly ignored, was 7 days.

 

 

Another lazy day on porridge, ice cream and other sweet stuff. Fortunately the pain has worn off.

Rain and snow all day.

Joe and I set off to explore the bowling alley at Heber. Such a pity the one at Kimball junction has closed. The Heber alley is really a classic, quaint, and dates back to the 1960’s. Only $5 a game and $2 for shoes. Plenty of cheap great American junk food as well and seems very popular with the locals.

Go and pick up some more 9mm ammunition from Sportmens warehouse.

Evening I crack open a bottle of Zinfandel. Back on the mend.

 

 

Another lazy, porridge filled, start to the day. The wisdom chasm is feeling much better but still on soft foods. Great opportunity for desserts and ice cream.

A snowy day, interspersed with sunny periods, but cold.

Wendy wants to go to the Levi shop at the outlet centre but as usual buys nothing. Then it’s a stroll up to Whole Pay Packet for some fish and a chocolate mouse. Sadly get neither.

Afternoon reading The Code Breaker.

 

 

 

Very lazy start. Weather very changeable.

My new coffee machine, an Aeropress, arrived yesterday so get to try it out. Makes an awesome Espresso with no bitterness, just sweet. Fill it to level 4 and you get a pleasant Americano.

Catch the free bus to the transit centre for a stroll up and down Main Street. Oh the excitement, how can I contain myself. Then take a walk home in the snow.

Afternoon tea and some CRISPR reading and youtubes to try and get my head around this amazing, yet potentially frightening, genetic engineering solution.

 

 

 

Lazy morning then Wendy’s off to the CC.

I take a pleasant, all uphill ride, to the library. Manage to get The Lincoln Highway by Towles as recommended by Joe. Saves me a tenner on Kindle. It’s an awesome library with not just PC’s but also Mac’s for those who have fore saken the evil empire.

Back home for afternoon tea and then take a walk up to the CC to meet Wendy. She has Apple pie and Choc croissants from the CC. Pick up a Key Lime Pie. It’s a dessert tea, kind to the crater left by my wisdom tooth. Well at least that my excuse. For those of you who have a sweet tooth, like me, why not try a dessert tea once a week. What is it? Well it’s a pig out on only desserts, the ultimate in junk food.

 

 

Up early, well 08:00, ready to lead a 10:00 easy walk. 11 of us this time and Wendy managed over 3 miles around the Millennium trail.

Then it’s a Starbucks for a hot chocolate for wendy and dirty chai for me.

Get home and Wendy’s not feeling too good, headache, feverish and lethargic. Takes a Lateral Flow Test just to be sure it’s not that dreaded lurgy – Covid. Thankfully it’s negative, but we have to cancel the PCMSC Volunteers Appreciation Dinner. Instead a quiet night in – now there’s a change.

 

Up early for 10:00 pickleball. Yes, pickleball’s been resurrected. Bloody hell is it exhausting? I’d forgot how exhausting it can be up here. Especially when you’re a Brit from sea level trying to play at 7,000 feet. Manage to get 5 games in with not much rest in between. Surprising how many men now play. Also surprised how much younger they all seem. I must be the oldest there. But what a fun game it is as long as no one takes it too serious. Enjoy and smile.

After lunch Wendy and I have a 3.5 mile walk to the liquor store and back. Yeah, they have Basil Haydn Dark Rye in. That’s a rare treat and I’ve remembered our passports because i sure look under 21.

Back home for afternoon tea and then off to the Kamas Lions Gun range for some target practice with Joe. What a life this is.

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Had to cancel leading an easy bike ride as to much snow for it to be safe.

Decided we’d do our weekly shop on Thursday so off to whole paypacket for beer and coffee, Walmart for cheap staples, including shooting targets and Smiths for other vitals – joy.

Called in at Park City coffee whose web site doesn’t show prices unless you sign, they don’t even bother with prices in their shop. Took the girl a minute to find out how much and then it turns out to be $2 dearer than in Whole Paypacket, and about $4.54 dearer than in a normal supermarket – go figure.

After lunch Wendy and I have a stroll up to the Market. Bus back for Wendy, power walk for me. I beat the bus.

Before tea it’s a jacuzzi in the snow with a pilsner urquel, one of the few decent beers in the liquor store.

Then we try to light a fire with logs and fire lighters. I’d be kicked out of the scout for an abysmal performance. Finally get it going and settle down with a Zinfandel to watch Longmire.

 

 

 

Lazy Morning as usual.

Joe and I go for a walk around his neighbour hood. Plenty of hills, some very expensive multi-million dollar homes with awesome view of the mountains and Jordenell reservoir.

Fish for tea in typical Easter fashion.

 

Go over to Mikes to go trap shooting at the Kamas gun club. Use Mike 12 bore. Not so good a shot this week. Need to follow through when I pull the trigger rather than stopping. Best is 10 out of 25.

In the afternoon we go in search of an Easter egg to take to Mikes. Can you believe there’s no Easter Egg or even Spring Break Eggs to be had anywhere, rarer than a bottle of Bourbon in a mosque. Countries going to the dogs.

In the evening we’re off to dinner at Mike’s. Awesome ribs and great company. See Joanne and Dan from previous years.

 

Get to FaceTime the kids and grandkids. Easter eggs galore and they’re quite hyper as usual apart from Jasper who has tonsillitis – poor kid. Don’t know how Kurt and Fiona cope they’re so noisy and hyper.

Off to Home Depot, Americas answer to B&Q – to get some wood to secure the lounge patio door.

After lunch we take a leisurely stroll around the old barn down to the church and back.

Yeah, a Reubens for tea.

 

 

It’s a gorgeous spring day, blue skies and mid 60’s here in paradise. How lucky can we be.

Trip to the dentist to see what they can do about my tooth that exploded on the plane – better keep quiet about it or the TSA will start wanting to X-ray our teeth before boarding. After 8 attempted X-rays they finally get a Picasso. Seems like the best advice is wip it out.

Wendy’s off to the CC for the afternoon and ends up working in the boutique where she can sit down and not antagonise her back.

After lunch I cycle down (great ride downhill, will have to man up and try the ride back in a few days) to Kimble Junction to meet Joe to explore the Millennium trail. This trail will do fine for a leisure (there we go lolly gaggin) hike.

Afternoon tea out on the balcony having a well deserved but rare moment to read “The Code Breaker” – all about the discovery of CRISPR – fascinating.

 

 

 

Lazy start as usual. Gorgeous sunny day.

Then we’re both off ready for me to lead a leisure hike from Silver Star down to the Old Barn and back. Wendy catches the bus after 2 miles to save her back. Have 10 on the hike so quite a good turnout. Pleasant lot, including Mike and Joe, and it’s just really an opportunity for a bit of fresh air, some exercise, meet new people and a chat.

Quiet night in again and finish off “Anatanmy of a Scandal”, a great Netflix series.

 

Appointment with fear day. Off to be tortured by the local dentist as he tries to rip out a decrepit and battered wisdom tooth. For once the injection works but the gas and air seems a complete waste of time. Amazed he could get what was left of the tooth out. No pain but the sound effects of cracking teeth are terrifying. But as usual, for the rest of the day, I end up like a slobbering boxer dog on a hot day in July after a marathon. At least there’s no pain.

After care for wisdom tooth extraction is a right dogs breakfast of soft food, salt mouth wash, no straws. The most difficult being no alcohol for anywhere between 24 hours and 7 days depending upon who you believe. Guess I’m on the 24 hour side.

Rather than sit at home mopsing around I go shooting with Joe at the Kamas Gun club range. Only $5 rather than $18 at the gun club. It’s outdoors and on an awesome evening like today it’s just great. Injection starts to wear off, so at least I can talk, but along comes some mild pain. I suppose it’s only to be expected, two Cocodamil soon disperse that. They’re amazing.

Tea consist of Lobster Bisque soup followed by sitting spooning out of a tub of Hagen Das ice cream, just like a lonely, overweight American. The one good thing about this aftercare diet is I’ll get to eat soft junk foods like ice cream, cheese cakes and chocolate moose – each meal will just be two course dessert.

 

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Lazy morning. Short bike ride for me.

Wendy and Marilyn went shopping, yet again. Whilst Bob and I had some piece and quiet to read.

Then we all take a stroll around the golf course in the gorgeous sunshine.

In the evening went to Grub Steak restaurant. As you’d expect with a name like that they do some awesome steaks, a tad expensive.

 

 

Lazy start again. Then we’re all off down to Salt Lake.

Wow it’s so warm down in Salt Lake, 72F and sunny.

First stop REI for a pair of Smart Wool slippers to replace my manky pair at home. They are that bad they can walk around the house on their own. Really liked those slippers but after 8 years they’re beyond redemption. Typical REI don’t have any in store and none to be ordered. Select an alternative.

Remember the American reversing for me and as I’m blocking the pavement as I pull out of a car park, a guy in a electric wheelchair is bowling along. Back up to let him pass – pay it back.

Then it’s off to Costco for some vitals. The largest Costco in the world complete with walk in freezer and anoraks provided. What a treat for Wendy and Marilyn, while Bob and I just have to suffer it.

Finally, it’s off to R&R barbecue for some of the best ribs for tea. We go for ribs, brisket and chicken and not to forget Hush Puppies for me – another american junk food delicacy. A tad expensive but worth it.

 

Bob and Marilyn leave about 03:30 for a 12 hour day back to San Diego.

I’m off to Mike’s and then we’re off Skeet shooting. Awesome. I manage 12 out of 25 in my first round, quiet satisfied with that, then it’s down hill from there. Mike sister beats me in the second round so I get a “Beat by a Girl” pin. I blame the wind.

In the afternoon I have to pay for my morning’s pleasure with a trip to the supermarket for our weekly shop. Wendy really needs to get an electric trolley.

Then a quiet evening in.

 

 

A lazy morning. Then it’s my inaugural Leisure Hike. Oh, sorry can’t call it that sounds too much like lolly gaggin according to the club hierarchy. So, it has to be called an easy hike, more like a leisurely walk or a stroll. A mere 3.6 miles and reasonably flat, from Willow Creek To the Old Barn and back.

It’s a sunny but cold day so quite amazed when there’s 7 of us. Wendy takes it easy and heads back to keep it under 2 miles.

Quiet evening in with a very pleasant and not too expensive Carmenera. We finish Yellowstone.

 

 

Yeah, off down to the Basin Rec to see what the drop in pickleball is like. Joe says they’ve become very up themselves and too cliquey. Not my idea of pickleball, it needs to be fun and not taken seriously. But we’ll see. Well turns out there’s no pickleball as it’s easter holidays – sorry Spring Break – and the kids are using the gym. It’s bad enough that it’s in the morning, rather than the afternoon, us old guys don’t do mornings. Drive round to Willow creek where that have 8 FREE outdoor courts, sadly no one playing. It’s too cold.

Take Wendy round to her first day as a volunteer at the Christian Centre. Leave the car with her. Gives me the chance for some exercise as I walk home.

 

 

Lazy start then a 3 mile walk to the bank and back. Yes, I know we have a car but it so nice to walk around here. Especially on the way back when it’s snowing. Arrive home looking like a snowman.

In the afternoon it’s off to the gun club with Joe. Get reacquainted with Mikes Walther PPX, complete with laser sights. Sadly the dots dancing all over the place like a whirling Dervish-a. Need to improve.

 

Lazy morning. Wendy drives off to the Christian Centre (CC) whilst I do a bike ride to check out the safety on the route for tomorrows bike ride. Too much snow, so it’s unsafe. I cancel it.

A quiet afternoon with coffee and a good book – The Code Breaker.

Then a power walk up to the CC to meet Wendy. Starting to cope with 7,000 feet of altitude.

Pick up a chimichanga from Chubasco for tea.

Then off down to Salt Lake airport to pick Carol and Angela up.

 

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

For the rant of all rants – see rant section below.

Finally up, up and away in Virgin Upper Class. Great news they have a lovely Primitivio wine, very pleasant meal starts off with Duck and marmalade (a tasty combination), Chicken Kiew and then an excellent port to go with the cheese and biscuits. Then to top the meal off I tootle off to the onboard bar for one of my favorite Baron Otard brandies whilst they make up my bed.

Oh and forgot to mention my exploding tooth. Yet again one of my fillings explodes. Seems a regular feature of flying, or within a few weeks of landing. I assume an air pocket in the filling at sea level pressure explodes due to the reduced pressure at 10,000 feet. And then to top it all Wendy gets the trots. Too much brandy, rich food and tablets no doubt.

What a nightmare of a journey, flight delayed an hour leaving Manchester so we arrived 30+ minutes late at JFK; then sit for 20 minutes waiting to cross two runways because they’ve had an emergency on a runway; queues at passport control over 70 minutes, was horrendous; we missed our connection to Salt lake; had to rebook flight for next day flying out at 11am. Amazing no extra charge and they get us in first class.

Then we had to find a hotel for the night. Sat on the floor, no seats anywhere, in a quiet part of JFK, and then along comes about 30 religious penguins and start chanting and genuflecting. Took another hour of nightmare Skype calls, everywhere was full or very expensive. Seems like the same problem Mary and Joseph had in Bethlehem. Eventually got to a hotel …. and got some sleep.

Still every cloud has a silver lining, as we’re picking car up 7.5 hours later I update our pickup time on the Avis website. Can you believe its cheaper. £450 cheaper on car hire and get a full sized car rather than a Kia Soul that no self respecting American would be seen dead in. Go figure!

 

 

Up early for breakfast. Supposedly opens from 06:00, but what that means is the sloth opens the doors and then starts setting up. Continental breakfast but obviously they never had a breakfast in Europe. Pretty sparse, why not even a waffle machine, have they no American pride and self respect?

Off to the airport. TSA pretty slick and then the luxury of the Delta lounge. First class flight, but first class in America is really not worth it, just wider seats with more legroom, pretty crappy food and you’re trusted with real cutlery that you could stab someone with.

Land early. The new airport at Salt Lake is amazing. Off to Avis to pick the car up and we’ve got a free upgrade to a Ford Edge SUV. Not only that it’s brand new. Just love this car it has an iPad sized screen and Apple CarPlay to keep me amused, and of course it’s big.

Anyway we are here now and after an absence of two years and a day I’m one happy chappy back in Paradise.

Check our garage storage cupboard and all our stuff is still the, wine, bourbon, brandy, 9mm ammunition and a prized bottle of High West Midwinter Nights Dram although not quite as full as I imagined. Must be the mice or evaporation.

Quick trip to a supermarket (aka Grocery Store) then it’s a long awaited trip to Chubasco’s for a Carnitas Burritos. Soon get set up and have a quiet night in watching season 4 of Yellowstone, thanks to a 1 month subscription to Peacock, followed by an early night.

So what have we learnt from this fiasco?

1 Try and avoid Manchester airport.
2 Allow a minimum of 3 hours between flights.
3 Avoid JFK. Airport is hell; longest lines, hotels are expensive, mediocre and fully booked.
4 Have a “Survival Kit” in Hand luggage. USB A lead; USB C lead; watch charger; hearing aid charger; 2 USB A chargers; underpants; toothbrush.
5 Don’t wast money on Upper Class, it’s going down hill, stick with Premium economy.
6 If you have an Avis booking try going into modify pickup timetable to see if prices drops.
7 If you need a hotel then just rely on Booking.com. Keep it simple.
8 If you must go through Manchester then book fast track through security.

 

 

 

Up early as our body clock is still shot to hell. Lazy start then off to the supermarket for the weekly shop.

In the evening we’re off to Steve and Barbaras for cocktails and Jeree and Diane have also come round to greet us. A lovely evening just catching up and putting the World to rights.

 

 

Up early again as our body clock is still rebellious.

Off to Walmart, “where all the crazy people shop”, to get some essentials for our rental. Oh joy another supermarket.

Our friend Bob and Marilyn (B&M) arrive around 14:00, can you believe they set off at 01:00 in the morning for their 12 hour drive from San Diego. So good to see them after 2 years. Great that they’re staying with us for a week.

Go round to Ruth’s to pick up one of my bikes that she has very kindly been storing for us. Gentle ride home.

Dinner is pizza and plenty of wine with B&M.

 

Lazy start. Wendy and Marilyn tootle off to the Outlets centre for some retail therapy. That’ll be expensive.

I go for my first bike ride. Down to the old barn and then up to Park City Mountain Resort for a well deserved Dirty Chai – sadly Eva is no longer there to look after us but the dirty chai is still as good. 7,000 feet of altitude certainly takes its toll on us sea level land lubbers.

Evening dinner is Lasagne with Bobs special sauce, one of the best ever.

 

 

Lazy morning. Wendy’s off shopping yet again with Marilyn. What do they find to buy.

In the afternoon I make my long awaited return to the gun club. Try a 9mm Stacatto XC automatic, all $5,000 of it, at that price you’d expect it to rub your balls and make coffee. I’m told it’s so easy to shoot and guarantees bulls eyes every time. Bull shit, it’s a nice gun, but sadly doesn’t do the aiming for you.

 

 

 

Cycle down to Willow Creek for a 5 mile walk with Joe. Great to see him again after 2 years of Covid crap. Have a Starbucks and put the World to rights. It really is about time us old guys, with a modicum of common sense and a detestation of wokes, snowflakes, libtards and political correctness, started to take control.

In the afternoon we’re all off down to Heber City for a trip to the sportmens warehouse for more 9mm ammunition; Wendy and Marilyn go to Walmart yet again; then pick up some fresh bagels; drive round for a viewing of B&M’s nearly finished condo; then liquor store for some more E&J XO brandy, it’s amazing and on special at $13.99 a bottle.

A few well deserved German beers. Salmon for tea followed by some High West Campfire, very tasty.

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Hot and sunny.

Easy day today as we drive 5 minutes down the road to Washington Oaks state park. Have a pleasant amble around the Washington Oaks Gardens state park. Then it’s Wendy’s lunch sat overlooking the coastal waterway.

Wander over to the beach to see if we can create a new record of 46 minutes sat on a beach. We give up after about 30 minutes. Have a stroll along the beach and then it’s back home, with a quick nip into Publix.

Afternoon tea and reading on the deck.

Tea tonight consists of a burrito for me and some brisket for Wendy from Captain BBQ. Quick service and the pulled pork burrito was good. Can’t wait to get back to PC and those great Mexican burritos from Chubasco’s. I think I’ll be living off them daily for the first week to make up for lost time.

 

 

Hot and sunny.

Wendy fancies doing the hop-on-off trolley tour around St Augustine. We did it back in 2015 but forgot most of it and it’s a really relaxing way of seeing St Augustine. It’s a lovely old city with some amazing architecture and intriguing charm. Hop off for lunch and a free Starbucks dirty chai (they managed to piss me off with their app not being able to cope with £ sterling) sat with an awesome view of Flagler college.

Then it’s back on the tour. Our trolley’s full so there are lots of people left at the stops. What’s truly bizarre is how close together the stops are, heaven forbid the poor dears should have to walk more than 100 yards. At the penultimate stop there are about 20 Americans waiting to get on the trolley. It seems they’d rather wait at least another 15 minutes than walk 4 minutes to the trolley terminus – only in America.

Back home for a late afternoon tea then it’s a superb tuna melt on swirly rye bread – awesome.

Another hot and sunny day.

Well Russia’s finally invaded the Ukraine. Is this another 1939 moment? I’m fascinated what sensible America thinks about it? Are they even aware that the Ukraine exists? Are they aware where it is?

Nip out and top up with petrol before there’s any form of panic buying.

And where may I ask are the United Nations in all this. I’ve not seen a peep from them in the press (AKA Apple News). They’re probably still getting on their high horse about Islamaphobia and ruminating on other snowflake, libtard and woke issues. Could there be a better display of United Nations impotence than Russia presiding on Wednesday over a Security Council session on Russia’s invasion? The sum of their actions seems to be the UN Secretary-General saying “President Putin, stop your troops from attacking Ukraine, give peace a chance,”. What a pity we don’t have a UN with teeth that can step up in situations like this and bring to bear an independent force to punish such aggression.

Meanwhile, here in the land of plenty and the home of the free we have a lazy day planned with a trip up to Anastasia Island state park. Like most of the parks around here it’s mainly yet another beach and another Hammock trail. This time a Dunes Hammock trail so we venture forth. Seems like every other Hammock trail we’ve been on except there are some hills on it.

Wendy wants to give the beach here a miss and drive down to Historic Butler beach to set up camp and have our lavish lunch. Not really much there, other than a very fine beach and to ensure that the locals don’t have to walk too far you can even drive onto and along the beach. That’ll save the poor dear’s legs.

Quick, stop at Publix. Yes, Wendy was with me at the time. Then it’s back home for afternoon tea on our awesome deck. Seems a shame sitting on a beach when we have such a great deck.

What is it with our next-door neighbour? Every time we sit out on our deck to enjoy the sun he’s out there with his blower, a phallic extension to his no-doubt minuscule penis and brain. He keeps blowing the same leafs every day off the paths and overnight they creep back on. Why doesn’t he have the wit to sweep them up and be done with it?

 

 

Hot and sunny again. Lazy morning and lunch at home.

Then we drive down A1A to Tomaka state park once the home of the Timucuan Native American village, Nocoroco and the Mount Oswald Plantation that once grew sugar, indigo and cotton. A tad disappointing nothing really much there apart from a Rio-style statue of a Red Indian (OMG is that PC?). The statue shows Oleeta, warrior princess, aiming an arrow at Chief Tomokie with murderous intent. Off to the side, warriors are poised as back up, arrows drawn. The story says the tribe turned on Tomokie for the sacrilege of drinking the Water of Life from the Sacred Cup. The chief, impassive at his fate, upends the sacred cup while threatening his assailants with a spear. You have to imagine the spear. It’s been missing from the statue for some time.

Have a stroll around the beach but no real walks there, not even a Hammock trail – what sort of Florida state park is it.

Drive down to Bullow Plantation Ruins Historic state park. They do like including that word historic wherever possible. It’s the ruins of one of Florida’s largest sugar (white gold) plantations and dare I say its slave quarters. Quite interesting to stroll around and there’s a pleasant walking trail to it. No doubt the 1619 Project has something to say on the subject and it turns out that they claim America’s lust for sugar, and the resulting obesity, is founded in sugar plantation slavery.

Finally, we head to Flagler beach. I know let’s get an espresso and explore this famous beach area. Well, it’s just another beach with a $1.50 pier, plenty of beach,es and alas nowhere for a decent espresso. Fox News is there filming. We’re strolling along Flagler promenade and there are all these geezers with “Let’s Go Brandon” flag and the Stars and Stripes. It’s a blue flag so I suspect they’re Democrats but stop to ask if this Brandon guy is a republican or democrat politician. Turns out “Let’s Go Brandon” is a political slogan that has been widely used as a minced oath for “Fuck Joe Biden” in reference to Joe Biden, the 46th president of the United States.

Now I have a dilemma. Do I continue to seek out a MAGA hat or go for a “Let’s Go Brandon” hat, or perhaps both.

Have an interesting chat with them. Get their thoughts on the Ukraine. Surprise, surprise they think America should be in there fighting for freedom. Also interesting to hear their take on Trump losing the election. He didn’t lose there was massive election fraud, they’ve seen videos of ballot boxes being stolen.

 

 

Hot and sunny yet again. It’s like a Daytona race track on the inter-coastal waterway this morning as everyone with a jet ski seems to be racing up to St Augustine.

Depart for 3 days in Mickey Mouse town.

On the way we spot Wekiva State park sign and it’s only 5 miles off our route. We’ve plenty of time to kill so decided to visit. Can you believe it the park is full? You really couldn’t make this up.

Get to our Lake Buena Visita resort village early and have to hang around for an hour whilst room is cleaned. Sit around the pool. We’d booked a one room suite and we end up with a two room suite with full kitchen and all mod cons – very nice.

 

 

Lazy start then off down to Disney Spring for a saunter around. Yes, I know we’ve been there before but it’s quite pleasant and there’s usually some free entertainment on. This time it’s a young dance troop from Oklahoma – good to know there’s something in Oklahoma. Judging by the queues for Starbucks and Giordehli’s you’d think they were giving it away, and what’s happened to the free chocolate samples. Wendy has a wander around the Disney store and manages not to purloin any of the plastic cards – I think she’s finally realised they are not free.

Back to our room and have afternoon tea around the pool.

Then for tea it’s a build your own burrito from Chipolte. Pretty good. Roll on PC and Chubasco’s.

 

 

Off to Sea World for the day. It’s a long while since we’ve been there.

What a disappointment that was. The only experience of any worth was the dolphin show. What amazing creatures they are. I suspect they even have more intelligence than some of the Herberts driving around Florida.

Back home for afternoon tea and then off to Flannigans Irish bar, on the corner of our hotel, for our take away tea. For me it’s a Reubens, a fine last meal in America, Wendy goes for a Fish sandwich.

Well that’s the last day of our 6 week trip. It’s been so good to get back to America, we’ve really missed it. We’ve had a great time and everything went according to plan. Florida is a great location for a winter break, we’re becoming professional snowbirds, although we are starting to run out of new places to visit in Florida. Perhaps next year we’ll have to try Scottsville, Arizona, AKA God’s waiting room. We could also revisit the 4 corners area.

We also need to start planning my Rest Of AMerica (ROAM) adventure, where we visit the remaining 6 states we’ve never been to and visit as many National Parks as we can. Sadly they’re nearly all in the North of America so the weather in winter is not what we’re looking for.

We’ll right tomorrow off as a day of misery as we suffer the airports and journey home. Anyone remember what fun flying used to be until some 7th century barbaric rag head living in a cave from the religion of pieces and permanent offence struck. Since then we’ve had other Jihadis adding to the misery and now we have Covid restrictions and rules.

 

 

Hot and sunny.

It’s fly home day, so we’ll just write it off as a day of abject misery.

Sit around the pool for an hour and then drive to the airport. TSA was the usual nightmare, they even manage to stretch it to 35 minutes. But at least when they close that door on Virgin Atlantics big iron bird we can settle down into peace, tranquility and good service. Flight was good and on time.

 

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Drive down to Hillsboro lighthouse, but alas it’s a private estate so can’t get close up.

Try to go for a stroll along the beach at North Ocean park but no access due to mansions and construction work. So it’s plan B down to the pier at Lauderdale by the Sea. Have a pleasant stroll along the windswept shore watching the kite surfers, ideal weather for it. Was aiming to have a stroll along the Fishin Pier but too much of a skinflint to pay $2 each for the privaledge. Hardly worth the effort.

Settle down to an espresso in some lovely adirondacks.

Then it’s back home for afternoon tea with the new kettle kindly provided by our landlady. Can’t believe she paid $30 odd dollars for a stove top kettle when you can get an electric kettle for just $15. Chatting to her it seems she boils her water in a microwave, but is not aware of how dangerous this is with the risk of superheated water forming and exploding over you.

Want to know how to make tea the proper way then – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jZDBz0qVtM

Wow, this settee is so comfortable. Can we take it home with us?

 

 

 

After a very lazy start we set off to Gumbo Limbo nature centre where they rescue sea turtles. A pleasant Hammock walk then tour the aquarium and many turtles.

Drive across the road to visit Red Reef park for lunch by the sea. Can you believe they want $25 to park. No wonder the car park is empty. The greed and audacity is dumbfounding. All is not lost there’s a car park across the road, just $3 an hour.

Wendy has lunch by the coastal waterway, I settle for my Sumo orange. Like them they’re so easy to peal. Risk our lives to cross the road to the Red Reef park beach and have a stroll along the beach. Again lots of Portuguese Man of War have been washed up onto the beach.

Certainly not worth $25.

Back home for afternoon tea.

Dinner tonight is a takeaway of clams, followed by ribs and prawns. Can’t believe this Flannigans restaurant, you’d think they were giving it away. It’s choka, and they’re queuing outside for a table. It seems a very Americanthing that they’ll turn up at a restaurant and be told there’s a 30 minute wait for a table, instead of voting with your feet they just accept it and join the queue like dutiful Japanese.

Anyway meal was good, and I survived the clams, unlike last time when I had an overnight meeting with Hughie and Ruth. Ribs were ok but not as good as R&R BBQ in Salt Lake or the Wheatsheaf Inn at Edith Weston in Rutland uk.

 

Hot, sunny and humid. I sit out on the patio for morning coffee and have to surrender to the humidity.

Drive up to Target to get two identical, unicorn, winking, talking handbags for the grandkids. Jasper doesn’t get one.

Then drive onto Deerfield beach. Amazed how easy it is to find parking and ONLY $2 an hour. The beach is crowded but it’s one of the nicest beaches we’ve been to. Sit and eat lunch, such a pity we forgot the beach chairs. Mind you we rarely tolerate more than 30 minutes sat on a beach.

Back home for afternoon tea, indoors, it’s way to hot and humid on the patio, plus we seem to be inundated with blood sucking insects.

 

 

Hot and sunny, let’s go down to that nice Deerfield beach with our beach chairs and sit and have lunch. Easy parking there, says he.

How wrong can you be. All the promenade parking has been taken over by yet another gay pride event. How many gays are there in Florida? Is it mandatory in this state? You never see an old unwoke, unsnowflake, unlibtard old geezers having an event to celebrate common sense. Even a giant multi-story car park is ALLEGEDLY full. We’re stuck in a traffic jam for 20 minutes, yes 20 minutes, waiting for the lights to change. An hour later we escape and try our luck down at Pompano Beach. Just typical of the daily dose of shit that descends these days. All we want to do is sit on the beach and have our lunch, doubt it we’ll even stay long.

After 1.5 hours of driving through hell we find a spot and lug our beach chairs onto the beach. Set a new world record as we last 45 minutes sat on a beach. Then off for a stroll down to the pier and an espresso to calm jangled nerves.

Drive back home for afternoon tea. Wow, it’s hot.

An American sized portion of cracked conch for starters – whatever that is, see trivia below – and some awesome crab cakes for tea from the fish shack.

It’s a 4 hour drive up Interstate 95 to our next VRBO at Palm Coast, just South of St Augustine. It’s the usual mayhem. But I’ve got a new defensive driving strategy. Sit in the middle lane at the speed limit and remember your rear view mirror is your best friend. If anyones unhappy about that then they can alway undertake or overtake. Whilst not exactly the best of lane discipline it minimises risky lane changes. I notice quite a few heavy lorry drivers use the same tactic.

Arrive and unload. Remind me to never book a place on the first floor (2nd floor in America) lugging suitcases upstairs is no fun.

VRBO rental is spacious, clean, very comfortable, with a great deck and views of the coastal waterway, old style Florida. It’s a tad quirky to say the least. Like an antique shop cluttered with weird collection of antiques such as collections of rolling pins; Delft ware; blue bottles, fortunately not the flies; 13 old style enamel coffee pots; 5 tea pots; a giant merry go round horse and two baby ones; a plastic bottle full of small bits of broken shells; tinfoil on top of the radio aerial are just a fraction of the assorted junk. All mod cons and at least it has a stove top kettle, alas it’s whistle less. Incongrously the washing machine cost $2 to use, good news the dishwasher, fridge and stove are free to use.

The grandfather clock has to be the worst feature, chiming every half hour. It’ll be amazing if it survives the week.

Of special mention has to be the bed. It’s so high you need a step ladder to get in it. I get all the daily exercise I need just climbing into it. Fallout of it and your dead. At least it’s very comfortable.

Publix is less than half a mile away so it’s a quick visit for tonight’s tea. I’ll suffer the full blown punishment tomorrow. Back for a Publix style subway and a cool beer with a bottle of Carmenera.

 

Lazy day planned to recover from the trauma of driving up I95. Hot and sunny. Sadly I have to endure Publix.

Turns out this VRBO is not in St Augustine but in Palm Coast 20 miles south of St Augustine. Prefer this location to St Augustine, not as busy and lacks an infestation of tourists.

Then it’s the afternoon sat on this awesome deck watching the boats go by. It’s really old style Florida here, full of trees and Spanish moss. There’s more dead leaves than good bacteria in a healthy gut and yet our next door neighbour disturbs the tranquility and provides entertainment as we watch him using his hi-tech blower to blow the leaves off his paths and driveways. 30 minutes later he’s finished. Has he not figured that they’ll blow back tomorrow, just an exercise in futility.>

 

 

Lazy start then off to St Augustine for the day. It’s a 20 mile drive up a coastal A1A road hardly any traffic lights or even traffic, very pleasant for a change. Call in at Home Depot to pick up Kurt’s video doorbell. ABC wine store is very convienantly on the same trading estate. We walk to it. Alas no pavements and of course no one else is walking.

Then it’s a walk around St Augustine. Lovely town spoilt by us tourists and the struggle to park. We park down a remote side street and having the benefit of legs walk into town, oh so very un-American. Wendy finally finds somewhere to have lunch, then it’s a stroll around the castle, but at $15 a person to go in we’re still as tight fisted as we were back in 2015 – not worth it.

Back home for afternoon tea sat on this awesome deck.

It’s a pepperoni croissant base pizza for tea tonight. Cruelty to croissants, if Macron finds out he’ll be having a submarine hissy fit no doubt. One of the best pizza’s ever – only in America no doubt.

 

 

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Rain forecast and again the forecast was right.

Never mind there’s unfettered joy as we head off to Publix supermarket. Alcoholic lemonade, how about that. They call it Hard Seltzer, 5% alcohol, only in America.

Evening see’s the demise of an excellent bottle of Carmenera, too good to allow remains to oxidise overnight, manned up and polished it off – awesome. Finished watching Jack Reacher series.

 

A gorgeous warm sunny day so we toddle off down to Sarasota Bay Front for a stroll around and a coconut shrimp lunch for Wendy. I get treated to a cup of typical black American dishwater coffee.

Then have a stroll around Sarasota and Wendy is orgasmic as she gets a visit to WholePayPacket (aka Wholefoods). Then, despite having to pay a Kings ransom for everything, no wonder they hide the prices, she begrudges me some Shark Steak and Mahi for tea.

 

 

 

 

Lazy morning but then off to a free Big Band concert in Phillipia Park. Then have a stroll around the park and Wendy enjoys her butty for lunch. Sat watching them fish and just about escape having an eye removed by a casting shrimp on a hook.

Back down to Turtle beach for some beach time, but after 30 minutes we’re melting. Back home for afternoon tea and some reading. My it’s hot. Take to the shade.

 

 

 

Another glorious hot sunny day. Take an afternoon stroll down to Turtle beach. Sit and watch the Pelicans entertain us. Then a major sin as we go to a bar and have a beer before 17:00. Wendy has a rum and coke and then staggers home – lightweight.

Try to sit out on the deck but it’s just too hot so end up in the shade outside our rental. Then our friendly little red bellied woodpecker comes around and starts chirping away. He’s also very good at catching flies. Try tempting him with his bird call on my iPhone.

Eventually Wendy gives up on watching “The Apprentice” and serves afternoon tea. Her head is still spinning from that drink.

 

 

Leaving day. We have to be out by 10:00 or they very arrogantly offer to charge us another full day.

Because I want to avoid the crazy interstates toll roads it’s a five hour drive across florida. 150 mile of nothingness. Just scrubland and cattle, wot no cowboys. Very little signs of habitation and it’s at least a 50 mile walk if you run out of petrol.

Finally arrive after 5 hours and stop off for a dirty Chai at Starbucks before driving down to the nearest Home Depot to order a Wyze Doorbell Pro for Kurt. No chance of ordering it online as the clusterfuck website designers – 10 year olds whose mummy has to tie their shoelaces for them and have no idea that there are other countries outside the USA – can’t accept a UK zip code when trying to purchase online.

Finally get to our next home in Pompano Beach for a week. Can’t get in before 16:00. It’s all very nice, clean and modern. But what is it about American houses, they’re always so dark, like going into a funeral parlour, and very rarely have a decent central ceiling light.

I unload the car and then it’s the final tribulation of the day with a visit to Publix for tea and supplies. As soon as I’ve ordered my Reubens, which has kept me motivated all day as I salivated over the thought of it, my threshold of tolerance for this purgatory goes. Get me out of here.

 

 

 

Lazy do nothing day, just relax.

 

 

 

Gorgeous sunny and warm day. Take a morning stroll to the outdoor Pickleball site. Just 10 minutes walk to 12 FREE outdoor Pickleball courts. All properly marked out with permanent nets. Even have forms to sit on. Pickleball Florida style.

Then we’re off down to Hugh Taylor Birch State Park. Another $6 saved it’s only 8 miles away but takes 35 minutes with all traffic lights. Can you believe it one every 100 yards in places.

Wendy has her sandwich lunch at the park. We take a stroll across to the Fort Lauderdale beach and then have an amble around the Hammock trail. Take a drive around the park and a stroll down the coastal waterway, wow it’s rough today.

Tortoises here are protected species and they ask you to drive slow to avoid that crunching sound as you go over one. There’s one speeding down the side of the road with a park ranger escorting it for safety, probably to stop the exits picking it up or taking it home. How neat is that.

Then it’s an aborted visit to Wholefoods, apart from getting some Sumo oranges and Ethiopian coffee, followed by a visit to Publix. Two supermarkets in one day is just two too many. A real trial of my threshold of tolerance.

Back home to afternoon tea on our patio.

 

 

 

For those snowflakes, wokes and libtards who may not be able to cope with some of my Rants etc., then select here:

Lazy start as usual then off to Myaka State park for the Nth time this lifetime.

Had lunch sat in our Tommy Bahamas chairs watching the gators and Herons fish. I’m sure they’re the same gators from two years ago, maybe they’re even Disney animatronics.

Strolled over to the other gator feeding spot – avoiding the snake infested long grass this time – but alas no gators crunching on a turtle like last time. Then of course we had to do the tree walk.

Back home for chowder, crab and fish tea from Captain Curts. Not cheap but pretty good and plenty of it. Time for wine and a rubbish Netflix film on Heaven.

 

 

Wow, up and out for 09:30, off to pickleball. Outdoor, open play with a random wind to spice things up.

After lunch we’re off to Oscar Shearer State Park. Have a pleasant stroll around and just about manage to get a mile in. Sit on the lagoon beach to enjoy the sun. Note our backs to the water, let’s hope no gators decide to creep up on us.

Then it’s back home for afternoon tea and sat around the deck drinking and talking to a couple of very friendly retired nurses until sunset. Very interesting. Americans are so friendly, this would never happen in the UK.

 

 

Off out for lunch with Nancy and Dennis, old friends from a home exchange.

Go to Der Dutchman an Amish restaurant, serving traditional Amish food. A unique experience. Have a pleasant lunch with Nancy and Dennis discussing old times and putting this crazy, senseless world to rights. What always amazes me is how many things we and our friends agree upon yet the world is dominated by the crazies, the wokes, the libtards and the snowflakes. Perhaps it’s time for us oldies to stop being the silent majority and restore some common sense.

Then it’s off for Wendy’s special treat with trip to Wholefoods in downtown Sarasota.

 

 

More outdoor pickleball in the scorching heat.

Then we take a drive down to Siesta village for a stroll around. Not really that much there to see.

Followed by a stroll along Turtle Beach. Get Wendy to sit in a kayak, on land, but I think thats as far as she’ll go.

Back home for afternoon tea on the deck, topped off with a plesant beer.

Decide to watch Question Time on BBC for the first time in ages. Interesting to see anti-vaxers try and argue with a professor of virology, frantically shuffling through their notes to regurgitate some obscure and ridiculous arguments against vaccination.

Start to watch the new series “The Responder” on BBC. What idiot decided to do what could be a good drama with broad Liverpool accents and no sub-titles. It’s just such a terriable, senseless waste.

 

 

Leisurely start to the day. Needs to be as I think I’ve caught Wendy’s back disesase. I can hardly get out of bed or walk. Wendy thinks it’s the kayaking / pickleball. I think it’s old age and this bed that is so soft you feel as if it will just swallow you up. Need to write you’re name on your boots before getting into bed.

It’s a grey, overcast day but not cold. The Iguanas are safe in their trees.

We decide to drive over to Lake Manatee state paark for picnic lunch and womble around, given the stae of our backs. There’s not really much there, and not any wildlife, but at least it’s free and making good use of our state park pass.

Then it’s time for my punishment as I’m dragged into a Publix supermarket.

 

 

Lazy morning again.

It’s overcast but at least it’s not cold. Decide on a walk up to the centre of Siesta Key, it’s about 1.7 miles. Have a stroll onto the beach as the sun comes out. Then go to have an afternoon drink and listen to some music, but Wendy can’t find anything she fancies to drink, so we don’t bother. Wendy catches the free shuttle back whilst I walk it. Need to try and get some exercise in to fix this back.

Afternoon tea on the deck but alas the suns hiding.

 

 

 

Lazy start and then off down to Venice beach. Wendy has her lavish lunch sandwich as we sit and enjoy the sun, although it’s a tad breezy evidenced by all the people huddled in the shelter of the lifeguards building. At least it’s warm.

Then we have a stroll around the usual grot and clothes shops in the nice downtown Venice. I think overall we prefer Venice to Siesta Key.

Back home for tea and start watching the new “Jack Reacher” series. It’s pretty good.