Tag Archives: blasphemy

20140706 – One more off the bucket list; Summer is as good as winter; Living the dream.

Sunday – hot (86F) and sunny.

 

I hope this string doesn't snap.

I hope this string doesn’t snap.

I’m on duty as a mountain host for the day. Smile stapled into place and ready for the onslaught of inane questions. Wendy’s off to the Outlet stores shopping. It’s what women do best. Too hot. Our home has no air conditioning just big patio doors to open downstairs and upstairs and ceiling fans. It’s even too hot to sit out on the deck and no way do we fancy a jacuzzi in this weather. Day on the mountain goes pretty quick. With a very relaxed team of hosts. Everyone just gets on with the job.

An overwhelming majority of the public now believes that people must speak English to be considered “truly British”, a national survey has found. 95 per cent now believe that speaking English is essential to being a member of the United Kingdom, compared with 86 per cent a decade ago. Seems like common sense to me, but our loony liberal PC storm troopers aren’t too keen on common sense. Heaven forbid immigrants should have to learn English. It always amazed me how many even 2nd or 3rd generation immigrants families never spoke English in the home and expected schools to provide extra resource to teach them. Pots for rags.

 

If I wake up in a morning and my elbows aren’t touching wood (meaning coffin)… it’s a good day!

 

George Carlin on Religion, great comedian just love his rants. Well worth watching. Hilarious:

 

Monday – hot and sunny again.

 
Up and out for 09:00 as we hike up Crescent Mountain Grade. Must have crossed nearly every ski run on the mountain. Wendy’s a whinging, weary, wilted, walker by the end of it. 86F out there even though we were up and out so early. Well done Wendy you made despite all the protestations.

Being as poor as squirrels with no nuts, we have no car – so un-American. I’m sat in the shade while Wendy does a weekly shop, then we have to haul it all back home on foot and on the bus.

Wendy tackles Crescent Mountain Grade (CMG).

Wendy tackles Crescent Mountain Grade (CMG).

Reminds us of how life used to be when we were kids with no cars, just them things on the end of our legs and a bus. Not even a bike. Crotch droppings these days, and I include my kids in this, just haven’t a clue. We remember frost on the windows in the mornings, that was even on the inside of the single glazed windows; no fire lit, so freezing cold until someone lit one; hardly any milk, so tea on me cornflakes; sugar buttes, and if you were really wealthy bread and jam to fill up with; outside toilet; tin bath on Friday night and kids were last in the cold murky waters. No skiing holidays, no cruises, no summer holidays. If you were really lucky you got a day out on the train to Skeggy as my Dad worked on the railways so we got a free ticket. No colour TV, no 3D TV. Just no TV. But worst of all no computers or Internet. We’ve never had it so good.

Need a proper beer, so that rules out any of these American pinkel waters. 2 Pilsner Urquell sat in the fridge just begging to be opened. Only 48 minutes and 12 seconds before they’ll be sliding down the side of a beer barrel, not a posy flower vase.

But hang on how can you have an Oktoberfest in with no beer? Ask the Mormons they seem to know how. Isn’t his a blatant infringement of the 1st Amendment – Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion….”.

My winter office. Closed in the summer.

My winter office. Closed in the summer.


 
Religion strikes again.

Tuesday – very hot and sunny again.

 
Up at the crack o sparrows to avoid the heat. Mind you some technogeek, he shall remain nameless, set the 06:00 alarm.

Things are looking up, even managed Cammy’s trail without needing shoe leather. Then spent 30 minutes discussing US politics with Dick, a staunch Obama supporter, here in the midst of this extreme right wing Republican Utah. Mind you Park City is a little ungodly, enclave of Democrats – a real Sodom and Gomorrah.

Where's the snow?

Where’s the snow?

Worth an early start, not too hot.

Park City makes it even easier with more alcoholic beverage businesses per capita than any other place in the state. So whether you’re looking for a local brew or just a glass of wine, you won’t be left high and dry.

 
What a veritable cornucopia of birds on our deck, mind you they do eat more bird food a day than we can afford. Sadly these two geriatrics forgot their binoculars so we don’t get to identify them all.

Isn't nature awesome> Just look at the beauty and symmetry.

Isn’t nature awesome> Just look at the beauty and symmetry.

Wendy and I cycle down – the key word there being down – to Kimball junction for a spot of shopping. But first a Starbucks moment to help me gird me loins and a psychoactive stimulant to ease the pain.

Finally decide to lash out and buy some Camelbaks for our walks, mountain biking. There big on “hydration packs” over here nearly as obsessive as “Gluten free”.
 

I see that the religion of permanent offence has been at it again because of another film / cartoon. Like most of these efforts they’re certainly not Oscar material but in the interest of improving the threshold of tolerance of this pernicious religion I’ve posted details of where it can be viewed.

Aisha and Muhammad

The Dramatic Life of a Little Child Married to the Prophet of Islam

As announced in an earlier press release, the movie, “Aisha and Muhammad”, has been released on schedule.

The release has been coincided with the US Independence Day on July 4 as a mark of respect to the American victims in the battle against Radical Islam.

The full movie in English can be viewed online from the following website links:

http://www.islam-watch.org/video.html

 

  Sometimes I pretend to be

 

NORMAL

 

But it gets boring……

 

So I go back to being me.

 

Wednesday – hot and sunny then at teatime we get a downpour.

 
I’m up and out for 09:00. Well made it up Town lift side, Sweeneys switchbacks and Johns trail. Feel like a drowned water rat by the time I get to the top of Payday lift. It’s so humid you could beat the water out of the air with a boat paddle. I think I’ve lost 8 pints of sweat. Thankfully my new Camelbak helps is pretty good. Good job Wendy didn’t come, the earache would have been too painful. At several points it was just an uphill scramble – think I may have been lost.

A well deserved swig of water at the top of Crescent Mine Grade. A tad too hot for Wendy.

A well deserved swig of water at the top of Crescent Mine Grade. A tad too hot for Wendy.

Can now advise guests on Townlift hikes. “Don’t bother. If you must do it, go down.”

After lunch get myself a locals $70 point ticket for the PC MARC gym or any classes. 10 points, so just $7 per class or gym access. Go to a Yoga class. Can’t believe I survive an hours yoga and not a drop of sweat on my brow. Now that means I’m either getting fitter – mind you I am at my lowest weight today in living memory, not that impressive when you consider I can’t remember what I had for breakfast – or after this mornings hike there’s just no sweat left in me.

Then the heavens open up. Raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock and then hailstones. In typical American fashion even the raindrops are bigger and better. Wendy’s gone shopping but miraculously she misses a drenching. This is the first serious rain we’ve seen since we got here. Please tell me this doesn’t mean we’ll be seeing a perambulating, inverted, black bin liner next. Mind you the thought of one hiking, mountain biking, snowboarding or better still skiing does stretch the imagination.

I get perplexed that so many people get upset and rile against another mosque being built, or an old pub being converted into an islamic community centre. I think, in true PC multicultural loony liberal fashion, the mosque or community centre should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance. That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, “The Turban Cowboy,” and the other a topless bar called “You Mecca Me Hot.” Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs.” Across the street there could be a lingerie store called ” Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret,” with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods. Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, “Koranal Knowledge,” its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called “Morehammered.” All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others.

 

Yes, we should promote tolerance, and if you are not laughing or smiling at this point… It is either past your bedtime, or it’s midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed!!!!

 

What is it with this American obsession with everything being gluten free. It’s every where and everything. I’ve written to the local water board, various wine growers and brewers  asking them to confirm their products are gluten free. Now I worry whether my petrol should also be gluten free, will it harm my engine.

A cynic – not me of course – make think it’s just a marketing ploy to exploit and rip off the gullable, thick, health freaky obsessives. Are you surprised that gluten free is always considerably more expensive.

But the facts prove it’s just another rip off fad, with a NORMAL loaf of bread costing £1, while gluten free costs £3.

Bear in mind that less than 1% of the population are coeliac. While many are convinced that – coeliac or not – avoiding gluten will make them healthier, a study published last year in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics disagrees. It concluded: “There is no evidence to suggest following a gluten-free diet has any significant benefits in the general population.” “Indeed,” it continued, “there is some evidence to suggest that a gluten-free diet may adversely affect gut health in those without coeliac disease or gluten sensitivity.” Other research has indicated that gluten-free diets are often low in fibre and can be linked to deficiencies in B vitamins, iron and folate. Inevitably, in the US, a gluten-free backlash is already under way. “Coeliac: the Trendy Disease for Rich, White People”, is a typical recent headline in the popular blog, Science 2.0.

Unfortunately, the gluten-free community has even less tolerance for jokes than for pasta. Thankfully I can continue to eat macaroni pudding with impunity and at minimal cost, thats if I can persuade her indoors to cook it.

People often wonder why I’m keen on baked beans followed by macaroni pudding. Well when I was at “bilateral” school – best not to ask. I always went to my Grandmas for lunch – well not being posh we called it dinner. Every day she’d serve me baked beans, with a nob of butter of course, cooked until dry (anything less than 15 minutes and they’re raw). Followed by a macaroni pudding, also cooked to perfection – until dry and curling at the edges. Every day for four years. Then one day I asked “Grandma, do you think we could have a change of menu”? That was it, never got me baked beans or macaroni pudding ever again. What a deprived, or was it depraved, childhood.
 

Thursday – warm and downpour late afternoon.

 

Hmm... lets see this cakes for two. So why do we have a 35% fatty rate?

Hmm… lets see this cakes for two. So why do we have a 35% fatty rate?

Lazy morning for me. Wendy’s off to be Florence Nightingale. Lunch time I go for a MTB ride and then call in at the hospital for a complimentary coffee and read of the paper in their comfortable lounge area. Good to people watch all the Florences in their lime green blouses scurrying around and spending most of their time chattering away like Mocking birds on LSD.
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Then in the afternoon I’m doing training for my Robin Hood archery (a Nottingham lad) stint at the National Ability Center. Amazing place for the disabled and when you see what they achieve it’s quite right they use the word “ability”.

Bike home and get caught in a real downpour. Fortunately it’s very warm so it doesn’t really matter. Quite a change as I can’t remember the last time I got really soaked right through.

In the evening we’re off out to dinner at Tricy and Rivers (possible home exchangers). They live up in Deer (aptly named) valley. They have an awesome 5,000 square foot home. Only the FSM can guess at what or why you need 5,000 square feet. Good meal, good company, good conversation and good beer. They have 4 other guests for dinner so it’s lively conversation all round. One of the guys brews his own beer and brings a load of samples. They’re very good, not a bit like the home brews I last tasted. Have a very interesting conversation with him and get to sample an excellent Kolsch and a Pilsner, none of your typical American pinkle water.

National Ability Center archery range.

National Ability Center archery range.

Only in America.

Close by parking spaces at the gym for fuel efficient vehicles. I’ll define fuel efficient – LPG, electric or over 30 MPG (well it is America).

 

Friday – cloudy with rain thunder and lightning in the afternoon.

Angela does archery. Just look at that perfect release.

Angela does archery. Just look at that perfect release.

I’m on mountain host duty and Wendy’s at the hospital. Another easy day with the Friday crew.

In the afternoon the heavens open up and some thunder and lightning, every things shut down while it passes. We get to leave early.

Then it’s off out to dinner yet again. This time with Rick and Lynda, potential home exchangers. They have a lovely home up on Park Meadows. Just love the way American homes tend to be so open plan with kitchen, dinning and lounge all one big contiguous open area. Great evening, awesome food, wine and best of all company. Never ceases to amaze me how friendly and how much home exchangers have in common.

Just test driving a bike for the disabled. Hard work. Managed to crash it when a car tried to reverse into me.

Just test driving a bike for the disabled. Hard work. Managed to crash it when a car tried to reverse into me.

Please tell me the World hasn’t gone mad:

Liverpool confirm Luis Suárez’s £75m move to Barcelona pending medical. Who’s Luis Suarez? He’s a footballer who bit one of his opponents in the World cup. Not only that it’s the 3rd time he’s done it. Barbaric. What did FIFA do about it? A slap on the wrist and a few months ban. Why wasn’t he prosecuted for GBH or assault? These guys are role models for kids. Hey kids if someone upsets you, bite them. Over paid morons. Why wasn’t he banned for life. Instead he’s being transferred and will no doubt receive a big chunk of money. Sounds like some sort of experiment in creative stupidity. But it’s football, what can you expect?

 

Saturday – very hot and sunny.

 

Bump into a lady at the bus stop.

Tony: “That’s a nice dog. What make is it?”IMG_0834

Lady: “Oh it’s a spaniel / poodle cross.”

Tony: “We had a spaniel but it only had half a brain. Does he have a full brain?”

Lady: “I don’t know we adopted it!”

Owner obviously is the one with a half of a brain.
 
On duty as mountain hosts yet again. So hot just try to avoid the sun all day.
 
Then we’re off to the hospital staff party. Free food and entertainment at the National ability centre for all hospital staff, volunteers and their families.
 
They’ve a climbing wall, ropes course, archery and disabled bikes – well you know what I mean – for you to try.
 
I’m totally freaked out by heights.
 
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Don’t you just love the American obsession with food. They walk up with a giant burger, just drooling fat, calories and cholesterol, and are then distraught when they can’t get 52 ounce diet coke. Oh well have to make do with a normal coke. How can anyone drink 52 ounces of sugar or even saccharin?

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That's better. Just 3 feet to go.

That’s better. Just 3 feet to go!

What a great opportunity to try all these facilities. Will I try the climbs again now it’s off my bucket list? Who knows. I will still be petrified but I suppose familiarity will help overcome this fear.

Let’s not forget however that all these facilities at the NAC are in the main for the disabled. Yes, they get people with disabilities up to these heights and even have a shaky wooden bridge over 50 feet up that you can go across in a wheelchair. Can you imagine the sense of achievement these kids, and adults, must feel.

20120606 – Ile d’Oleron

Wednesday – grey and warm.

We’re on the road again. Off to Ile d’Oleron. We’ve spent ages browsing the web sites of the caravan parks there to try and find one we like with Wifi. We chose Camping Au Pigeonnier and when we arrive we are not disappointed. A lovely site, great pitches. Not too big. Clean facilities and even trust you to be adult and choose shower temperature – yes they’re hot. Like every where they’re closed over lunch, but the sign says ring the bell and lo and behold they come and serve you the CUSTOMER. Helpful and friendly staff who go out of their way for you – are we still in France?

Nice and sunny when we arrive. Get set up and then it’s bread and cheese for dinner.

Saw this Tossing Laptop and thought of me!

Thursday – sunny, warm and windy.

Caravan pitch at Au PigeonairreWe’ve only been here 12 hours and all the other caravans have left! Mind you there was only one other French caravan here.

By evening this place has become infested with English, a true little Britain – there’s now two caravans here, both English. SO lovely and quiet.

It’s shopping day so I end up as escorting Wendy up to Lidl and E. Leclerc – joy. Sit in the car and do some work.

Finish season 5 of the West Wing – American politics is still an utter mystery but the sad news is we’re not alone!

Walmart launch a new product line! Will ASDA be next?

A man says he reached down to pick up a stick lying in the gardening aisle of a Wal-Mart in eastern Washington state, only to discover that it was a rattlesnake that then bit his hand.Harbour at Saint Denis d'Oleron

Friday – warm, sun and clouds with some short showers in the morning.

After yet another lazy morning we have a pleasant bike ride into Chateau d’Oleron. A pleasant small town with a massive fort. How did they manage to spend so much on armaments in those days? Plenty of cycle paths. Visit a local pottery – Muses & Hommes. Some amazing Raku pottery, the best I’ve ever seen. Really inspiring stuff. Pity there’s no web site to share with you but some of it can be seen at here. Lash out on a coffee around the market square. All very relaxing and oh so French.

The highlight of the evening has to be a bottle of St Emilion. Hints of vanilla and red fruits. Luscious. Hard decision do I drink it all or save half for tomorrow? Some real tough decisions these days.

How to shoot yourself in the foot.

After the Vatican’s doctrinal book censor condemned an American nun for a book she wrote on human sexuality this week (Sister Margaret A. Farley’sJust Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics). The book shot up Amazon.com’s bestseller list, from number 142,982 to number 16 and became the #1 best selling religious studies book. Who needs a publicist? The Vatican critiques signal an attempt to reign in America’s nuns radical feminism, a community that the Holy See believes has drifted away from church teaching.

Baby grapesThe rest of Europe’s going for austerity measures while this Hollande geezer in France has decided to cut retirement age from 62 to 60. Is this just the start of his campaign to quickly sink the economy and become the next Greece? Never mind I’m sure that Merkel wench will bail them out. As the ex-prime minister of France said “François Hollande seems to have completely failed to grasp the scale of this volcano rumbling under Europe’s feet,”.

Saturday – cloudy.

Lazy morning again. After lunch we go for a drive around the island – it’s not really that big. Probably best seen by bicycle.

Wendy’s just watching the Jubilee Concert – yes I know it’s a bit late. You have to say as a country we do do

Coffee time again

Coffe time again

pomp and circumstance rather well. Neve heard of most of these so called stars – quite proud that I’m so out of touch, it would seem such a waste of declining memory cells. Apparently Gary Barlow is not a star from Coronation Street. Bloody sad that I at least know Cliff Richard (is he really Dorian Grey), pink suit and all!! Time to open another bottle.

And can someone tell me why Elton John can’t make do with a Steinway piano and has to have a Yamaha – sad what you notice.

Sadly I expect a lot of these will be getting honours. Now that really riles me. Why do we give honours to people who are already famous; or have made loads of money; or have other awards like sporting medals; or worst still to overpaid, bad role model footballers who no longer even live in this country – yes you know who you are. They’ve already had their rewards and recognition. What about reserving honours for the little people who day in day out do selfless work for charities or the like with little or no reward nor expectation of a reward.

The busy camp site at Au PigeonairreSunday – rain and grey and miserable.

Hunker down for the day. Chance to get some work done and earn some pennies. Oh the excitement of Alarm Reporting and the latest ACPO / ACPOS policy.

Sites getting really crowded now there’s another two turned up. Now there’s three on site. Amazing really as this is one of the nicest sites we’ve been on and scores 9 out of 10. There’s really only two minor issues roads / exit are very narrow and water supply is very slow. Takes 5 minutes to fill the water butt. Really makes you appreciate water, but even more so, makes you think about the billions in the world who have no ready supply of clean water or have to walk miles for some muddy water. How they’d really appreciate this laboriously slow water supply. So stop whining!

We have British TV thanks to my giant, cumbersome satellite dish. Mind you I don’t know why we bother it
seems to have reached new depths of crap programmes. Thankfully we’ve got season 6 & 7 of West Wing left to enjoy. Who knows we may even aspire to CSI and Madmen.

Anyone out there worried that phytoplankton levels have dropped by 40% since 1940? Well perhaps we should be, it provides half of the food on which all animals depend and most of the Oxygen we breathe was made by it. Why? Global warming strikes again.

Monday – warm, grey and rainy yet again. French forecasts are as unreliable as UK, but they do try and cover all eventualities by showing clouds, rain and sun most days.

Another morning hunkered down. Reading and browsing. Time to get some work done. Thank Dawkins for the Internet. Wendy’s playing on her iPad.

Tuesday – odd showers in the morning but by lunch time were in to sun and cloud.

After lunch we take a bike ride down to the Grand Village Plage. Great weather for it, sunny but not too hot. Have a pleasant break for coffee then it’s back on the bikes for a 3 hour ride.
Phare de Chassiron - lighthouse at the Northern tip of Ile d'Oleron

The government finally gets some balls:

Forced marriage is abhorrent and little more than slavery. To force anyone into marriage against their will is simply wrong and that is why we have taken decisive action to make it illegal.

Forcing someone to marry is to become a criminal offence in England and Wales, leaving parents who coerce their children into a marriage facing the prospect of prison, David Cameron has confirmed.

Wednesday – another day of sun and cloud.

This afternoon we do a bike ride down the Oyster trail – needless to say neither of us bothers trying any of these gourmet oysters. We do try and find a nice coffee shop but really struggle. This is a lovely island; very flat; great cycling but cafes seem few and far between. After about 2 hours riding we finally come across a bakers shops thats open and sells coffee and tea – Wendy goes the whole hog with afternoon tea and cakes. They sell some awesome cheese bread and a nut bread. Another great ride.

Thursday – hot and sunny.

Clever fishing.Decide on a drive up to the Phare de Chassiron – a lighthouse on the Northern tip of the island. it’s lovely up their and the lighthouse is set in some stunning grounds – see pictures. There’s also a picture of of a U shaped stone wall. Very clever. They used to be built on the seashore. Tides would come in, along with the fish. As the tide went out the fish would be stranded – now ain’t that neat.

After a leisurely coffee we go and have our lavish picnic in a field – sure know how to live – a pear and some trail mix.

On the way back Wendy calls of for her weekly fix at E.Leclerc, spear no expense this week and pass on Lidl. After choosing the wine and coffee I have to sit out in the coffee shop reading.

Meanwhile it’s highlight of the week tonight with bread and cheese for dinner. We have those two delicious cheese and nut breads from yesterday – wow.

Letter to The President of the EU

Sir

You may recall that 3 years ago I wrote to you about allowing this third world country – France – to remain in the EU. I suggested that you give them an ultimatum to get rid of those holes in the grounds they call toilets within three years and to find or replace all the toilet seats that have been misplaced, stolen or they were just to tight to buy. Well they haven’t. It’s still 3rd world out here. Which means either you’ve ignored my suggestion or in typical French fashion they, the French, have blatantly ignored yet another EU directive – now theres a shock.

I realise you’ve got a bit on your plate at the moment, what with Greece and Spain, but heres your chance to make an historic difference and save a shed load of money and grief in a couple of years time. Why not just kick this third world country out of the EU now before this Hollande geezer, who seems to enjoy frittering money away like a fat bimbo feeding a bucket of nickels into two fruit machines at the same time, ends up in the same straights as Greece and comes cap in hand “please Sir can I have some more”. They’re already clearly living beyond their means and this new geezer just seems to want to accelerate their demise.