Friday 25/9/26
Catch the train down to Euston and then across London to Heathrow terminal 5. How do people live in this infested dump, like rats in a cage. Catch one of the pods to the Thistle hotel. Certainly not up to one of our usual quality hotels. Like something out of the 1950’s Have a beer and wait for Brett to join me for dinner. Not the most inspiring of menus.
Saturday
Up at the crack of Sparrow fart and off to the Aspire lounge in terminal 5. As is typical with anything to do with that useless Dragon pass the receptionist doesn’t seem to have a clue what she’s doing, fannies around for 10 minutes, doesn’t even know her password, and to top it all we’re then not allowed in until 3 hours before our flights due to depart. Flying British Airways to Nairobi. Fortunately we’ve go carry on luggage so there’s little chance they will loose our luggage, but never say never when dealing with BA. Not a bad cattle class flight. We have a limousine waiting for us at Nairobi airpot which whisks us off to the Crown Plaza. Has to be one of the nicest Crown Plaza’s I’ve been in. As it late at night we have a quick snack and then off to bed. But amazed that we’re security screened to get into the hotel, a foretaste of what is to come in Nairobi.
Sunday
Up early for a guided walking tour around Nairobi. What a friendly place Nairobi is, I’ve had more friend request in the first hour than all my time on Facebook – will you be my friend. Everywhere has typical minimum, unarmed, security guards. Most of them nodding off or chatting with their girlfriend. Thank god that they’re not armed, minimum wage and guns do not mix well. Every public build ing you go in you’re screened, but they don’t seem to bother if the scanner goes off – so what’s the point. All the streets are a trip hazard. On the viewing platform on 30th floor they’re especially dangerous, with pipes and cowlings sticking up everywhere. Restaurants seem to have forgot the simplicity of a paper menu and replaced it with a “scan this code”. Sadly they don’t have WiFi that works so no menu. Vote with our feet. Try a cafe but no of them sell beer – is this a Mormon influence. Traffic is horrendous, no concept of personal space or safe stoping distance. 4 on a motor bike and Uber motor bikes. Fortunately Uber X is dirt cheap and efficient. Not much to see really, a lot of poverty and amazing how many people are walking down major roads. The very centre is quite modern. Let the picture tell the story. Trying to buy a pair of sunglasses, but being such a religious place (80% christian and 20% muslim) everywhere is closed. Finally drop lucky in a Carrefour in Galeria shoping. Ask security guard to undo the case to try on; select a pair; then he takes us to the front of a long queue and we’re promptly served. White man obviously still Bwana. Dinner at Carnivore an all meat restaurant. Every meat you can think of. Try two different kinds of testicles, very bland, and din’t taste like chicken. Back to hotel for a night cap.
This city is security mad. Every building has sleepy security guards, minimum wage, but fortunately not armed. If you go into an official building then it’s full airport style security screening. Mind you even though the scanner goes off they wave you through.
But the ultimate in batshit bonkers security has to be when you drive into the airport. You have to get out the car and go through airport style security, but when the scanner goes off they wave you through. Meanwhile the taxi drives through with your bomb ladened luggage. You then meet your taxi, complete with unscreened luggage, full of bombs, on the other side. In what universe or dimension does this make a skerrit of common sense.
Monday
Up early again and another great breakfast. Picked up by a limousine and whisked off to Wilson airport. An hours flight in a 12 seater Cessna to Governors camp. You have to crawl along the isle to get to your seat but bigger than I expected , at least we didn’t have to sit on the pilots lap. Very smooth flight. Have up a couple of pickups to make along the way. Stop off at two mud landing strips to pick up some people. Like a bus service. Amazing at one pickup some bloody arrogant Brit, who has been standing around for god knows how long, decides he needs to go to the toilet so keeps everyone waiting – worse than dealing with children. Arrive at Governors, all very well organised. Start with a briefing while luggage is taken to our tent. Escorted to tent, settle in and then have lunch on the outside lunch plaza. Catch our first Safari, 1530 to 1900 with stop for drinks and snacks. Pictures tell the story as to what we saw, amazing how many different animals and how many of them. Dinner in the restaurant, good news all the meal and drinks are free. Each tent has an allegedly safe drinking water tap. Buggered if I’m going to trust it, which means the only bottled alternative is sparkling water – oh well better than risking the “safe” water. Stagger back to our remote tent with a guide to protect us from any animals roaming the grounds. Is he armed, is he buggery, but he does have a stick, or is it a toothpick – that’ll be good against a lion, leopard or cheetah. Not seen anyone armed so far. Wot no rifle.
Some terrorist groups pose a threat in Nairobi/Kenya, the principal threat identified by Kenyan and UK authorities is al-Shabaab, the Somalia-based group affiliated with al-Qaeda. Kenya’s National Counter Terrorism Centre also identifies threats associated with ISIS/Islamic State, although al-Shabaab has been much more prominent in carrying out attacks in Kenya.
Nairobi has suffered major al-Shabaab attacks in the past, including Westgate Shopping Mall in 2013 and the DusitD2 complex in 2019. Current UK travel advice says there remains a heightened terrorism threat across Kenya and that attacks could potentially target hotels, restaurants, shopping centres, transport locations and other places frequented by foreigners.
That doesn’t mean Nairobi is currently under attack or that tourists should avoid Nairobi generally. The latest U.S. advisory places Kenya overall at Level 2 — Exercise Increased Caution, while its strongest warnings concern particular northeastern and coastal areas nearer Somalia rather than Nairobi.
If you’re asking because you’re in Nairobi now and have heard about a specific threat or incident today, tell me what you’ve heard or where you are heading and I’ll check the latest information.
Al-Shabaab’s central aim is political and territorial control, primarily in Somalia. It is an Islamist militant organization affiliated with al-Qaeda. Its stated objectives include overthrowing Somalia’s federal government, removing foreign/African Union forces, and establishing a state governed according to its own strict interpretation of Islamic law. Some elements have also promoted a broader “Greater Somalia” encompassing ethnic-Somali areas of neighbouring countries.
Why do they attack Kenya?
Kenya became particularly important to al-Shabaab after Kenyan forces entered Somalia in 2011 and subsequently participated in the African Union mission there. Al-Shabaab has explicitly used attacks in Kenya as retaliation and as an attempt to pressure Kenya to withdraw its forces.
There is also a wider ideological objective. Kenya’s National Counter Terrorism Centre says al-Shabaab rejects Kenya’s secular democratic system and seeks to undermine the Kenyan state, social cohesion and religious pluralism.
It’s important to distinguish al-Shabaab’s extremist interpretation of Islam from Islam generally. Kenyan counterterrorism authorities explicitly describe the group as manipulating religious concepts to justify political violence.
So, very simply: they want power and territory, the removal of governments and foreign forces they oppose, and the imposition of their extremist system of government. Terrorism is one of the methods they use to pursue those objectives.
The religion of pieces and permanent offence strike again.
Tuesday
Woken at 0545 with tea, coffee and biscuits. Noise from the jungle is amazing, all sorts including a baby crying! We’ve had a visit from an elephant during the night judging by the giant dollop of shit on the path. Then at 0630 we mount up for our first full days Safari, of course the only women, bubble head, on our Land Cruiser is 15 minutes late. It’s all so simple if they’re not there on time go without them. We’ve combined two safaris into one so have breakfast served on safari. Amazing the animals we see. Go back tp see the lions take into their breakfast, with full stereo sound. Pictures tell the story and the animals we saw. Back for lunch, loody cold soup again, and alcohol then relax outside our tent, Brett needs a nap, no stamina. Visited by the warthog and her family. Then 1530 it’s another afternoon safari, complete with drinks of our choice. See photos for animals etc. Dinner back at camp and then escorted back to our tent by a warrior with a toothpick – still no rifle.
Wednesday 2/9/26
Woken again with tea, coffee and biscuits. If we thought yesterday was early today it 0445 for a 0515 pickup to go on a balloon flight. One silly ignorant bitch turns up 20 minutes late, no apology – we should have just gone without her. Balloon flight is amazing. Can you believe we’re security screened before setting off. Terrorists are renowned for bombing balloons. The World has truly gone mad. It’s very windy and the flight is close to being cancelled, results in an 18 mile and hour landing, as we’re dragged and bounced along the ground. Thankful for seat belts and plenty of padding. We end up very shaken and upside down – see photos. Then we’re whisked off for a champagne full English breakfast in the bush. Back to camp for lunch and drinks ready for another safari. Amazing so far we’ve seen 3 out of the Big 5 (lion, elephant and buffalo). Finally get to see a Leopard along with about 12 other safari land cruisers – it’s like Piccadilly Circus and there’s a ranger there trying to protect the Leopard. Also get to see a cheetah, but alas no Rhino. Although we do get to see a Lion stalk a Zebra and then spends 10 minutes trying to bring it to the ground – apparently a very rare opportunity – see pictures and video. Amazing. Then it’s drinks and snacks on the safari. After a long day we’re back for a well earned wine and dinner. Retire with our usual escort.
Thursday
Have a lazy start as we’re flying home today. Breakfast at the camp, then lounge around. 1500 Cessna flight back to Nairobi,. Off to airport, check into a lounge and then an overnight flight back to London. I’ve had dinner in the lounge so pass on BA’s dinner and let a sleeping tablet kick in. Wake for a very mediocre breakfast burrito. p>
Friday 11/9/26
Heathrow express then to Euston and train to Preston where Wendy picks me up. What an awesome bucket list trip. It was truly amazing and the pictures tell it all, but I reckon 50 years from now it’ll all have been spoilt by us bloody tourists. I really enjoyed it, and 3 days safari was just enough, a full week would be too much. And as much as I enjoyed it I would not do it again but would recommend it to everyone. Again photos and videos really tell the story.
