20210925 – Relaxing In France







Saturday

Thunder, lightning and rain overnight so sure enough in keeping with French tradition WIFI does not work in the morning. Why? It’s like one of those immutable laws of nature. Have they not heard of waterproofing or lightning protection.

Lazy start, battling with non-existent Internet, then off to Cherbourg.

Buy some new handles from the local Bricolage (DIY) to replace the broken plastic ones. These are metals that should see us out. Typical though, we wanted 4 but they only had 3.

Free parking on the Cherbourg quayside, how neat is that.

Finally track down the SFR shop, would have been easier if Wendy had said Rue DES portes and not De or du.

With my awful French and the assistant’s basic English I finally get a SIM, which allegedly will support being a hotspot (that’s another story), then can you believe I have to go to a Tabac to buy a 5Gb pre-pay to load onto the SIM. That’s easy to do as you just send an SMS with the code on your receipt from the Tabac.

SIM works fine in Wendy’s phone just got to battle my way through hot spot set up. Web site is no use, now there’s a surprise. Looks like I’ll have to gird my loins for a call with SFR call centre. Quite proud so far of my French comprehension, still speak it like a Spanish cow.

Then it’s pleasant coffee sat around the square, listening to a live band playing. Bizarre that the cafe lets you bring your own sandwiches to eat.

Another gorgeous sunny day, despite the weather forecast.

Bread, cheese and wine for tea again.
 

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Well we’ve been here a week now and hardly found any time to do my blog, read or go for a bike ride. Yet, we’ve hardly gone out for day trips. It just so relaxing. One of the ironies of living in this Lillipudlian rabbit hutch is we’ve spent ages agonising over the picture of which VRBO rentals to go to in Florida.

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I speak French like a Spanish cow.

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Join Islam


Sunday

Lazy day.

Then took a short drive out to Saint Saveur le Vicomte to explore the castle we’ve constantly said we’ll go and look at. Finally, explore it. Looks like there was a rebellion there way back when, now there’s a shock for France. A coffee or even a beer sat in the sun would have been nice but alas, it’s France, it’s Sunday, and of course everywhere is closed. I suppose they’re all wearing holes in the knees of their Sunday best trouser as they spend the day on their knees in prayer and religious devotion!

Another gorgeous day.

Back home for tea, beer and wine.
 

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Now I know I’m always having a rant about bad web pages, poor Human-Computer Interfaces, and bad design in general but I think I have found 2021 bad design award winner – see photo. What’s wrong with that you may say. Well, the silver button does nothing, it’s a motion-activated hand dryer, activated by placing your hands underneath it. It’s a wonder there isn’t a pile of human skeletons of the people who have died waiting for the silver button to work. Who are these zounderkites (bring back old insults -this is a Victorian word meaning “idiot.” An appropriate example with a contemporary angle (spoken with some irritation while driving on the highway): “That zounderkite just cut me off!”) who claim and are paid to be designers, yet produce such utter crap.


Monday

Woken by the sound of rain and wind. Dash out in the pouring rain to install the storm straps, that’s when I’ve found them. Of course if I’d installed them when we set up our “divorce proof, easy blow up awning”, I wouldn’t be out there in the wind and rain. Then to aggrevate me more as soon as they’re installed the rain stops and the wind dies down.

The last caravan leaves today so we’re the only caravan on the site. Have it all to ourselves, no noisy, nosey neighbours. Still some English in the statics and cabins at the top of the site.

Find some St George flag pendants so I put them up to remind the ducks that were English – remember Agincourt.

My UK stickers arrive for the car. Yes apparently from the 29/9/21 you have to have a UK sticker on your car. Some numbskull in government has decided that we are UK and not GB. He or she is a snowflake who wants to be inclusive and make a point that Northern Ireland is British – let no country be left behind.

A trip to mosquitos was the highlight of the day.

Spent most of the day identifying possibilities for Florida – we’ve 3 out of 4 stays sorted – and then most of the evening trying to select the best with a simple scoring system.

Despite the early morning rain it turns out yet another sunny day.
 

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I hear French like an English tortoise.

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A couple of French export entrepreneurs are ready to step up and solve our self inflicted petrol crisis.


Tuesday

Leisurely morning as usual.

Teatime we head up to Brenda and Pete’s for drinks. Another opportunity to put the world to rights. Very enjoyable company.

Weather wise an OK’ish sort of day.
 

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The French Revolution Oversimplified – shame about the adverts but very informative.

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Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster were not in the UK to witness first hand the chaos, bad enough we have to read about it. What is wrong with my country. I fully support the right to demonstrate and protest as long as it does not hinder others or break the law.

A simple solution to all this Insulate protest. Give them 2 minutes to move their hands off the pavement, if not then rip their hands off. That will soon stop a repeat of that nonsense.

No fines or prison sentences at our expense, instead let the punishment fit the crime. Chained to the side of the motorway for a week with their protest sign over their heads for all to see. Yes, I know the snowflakes and libtards will be up in arms about it, cruel, health and safety, and no doubt infringes their human rights. Boo hoo.

I bet it would solve the problem.


Wednesday


Leisurely start.

The forecast is pretty good so we have a drive up to Barfleur, allegedly one of the prettiest villages in France. There really is no accounting for taste. If that’s one of the prettiest then let’s avoid the rest. Have a stroll around but nowhere to stop for a sandwich for lunch. As usual, all the French are munching away on their full three-course meals. Given their obsession with food and wine it really is a mystery why this country is not infested with an excess of adipose tissue ambling around on two legs.

Drive down to Saint-Vaast-la-Houge, a busy fishing port, probably getting ready to blockade the ports and cause mayhem over Brexit fishing rules. They soon forget how the EU decimated our fishing industry. But it’s France, any excuse for a good strike, march, blockaid or civil unrest – long live the revolution.
 

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Well we’ve finally sorted our Florida trip. It’s a salutary lesson in how stupid people are when you look at the photos posted on a VRBO site for a property whose sole purpose is to market their property. Some of the many examples of stupidity never cease to amaze me:

  • Settees and chairs with disgusting crumpled blankets covering them – an instant no, no.
  • Pictures sideways, upside down or so dark only suitable for registered blind persons – an instant no, no.
  • 10+ pictures, not one of them showing the key features of lounge, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Prime example would be 20 pictures of outside, local tourist attractions and just one inside picture showing the U bend under the sink or the doormat in the hallway – an instant no, no.
  • TV located behind the main seating so only an owl with 360 degree head rotation can se the TV – an instant no, no.
  • No comfortable seating to watch TV – an instant no, no.
  • Sleeps 6 or more and yet only seating in the lounge and around the table for 2 or 4. Meals or TV in shifts.
  • Too lazy to tidy up before taking photos.
  • No bedside tables or lights.
  • Barren, looks like a prison cell with nothing on the walls.
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    Who are these people? It’s not rocket science. A lot of the time it’s just rampant stupidity but can also be hiding something they’d rather you not see.


    Thursday

    Last forecasted sunny day of our stay so time to be brave and take down the awning. A couple of hours cursing and a half hour interruption as Bat and Ball stroll by and engage us in conversation. Did you know that aircraft carriers are leaking around their propeller shafts? How fascinating is that.

    It’s finally down and rolled up and still fits in the bag.

    Rest of the day lounging around.
     

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    The Biscuit Factory. More bottles of Whisky and Bourbon than muslims at a stoning. Just 4 bottles of brandy hidden away on a top shelf.


    Friday

    Rain forecast for all day, so hunker down in the caravan. Thankfully, as usual, the forecast is wrong and by lunch time it’s stopped.

    Brenda and Pete pop round for a farewell brew.
     

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    The Difference Between a Democracy and a Republic

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