20140224 – 8″ is more than enough; France cracks down on drunken skiers; 21″ fresh powder; Blue bird day for Wendy

Monday – sun and cloud. Quite warm in the 40’s – not good.

IMG 2525This retirement malarkey is a hard life. Not for the faint hearted, requires total dedication and concerted effort.Lazy start. Stap me vitals do I have to go skiing yet again, dam me no. 

Manage a good moorings skiing and then come home to do battle with the Car insurers (thankfully “Noddies gone past Big Ears” for them so it’ll have to wait for tomorrow) and to see if I can possibly get some more contact lenses without a prescription. What is it with this namby pamby World? Why do I need a prescription less than a year old? I’m an adult and can make up my own mind on these things.

Seems like Canada is the place to order from. It’s obviously full of adults who are quite capable of re-ordering their contact lenses without the need for a piece of paper from a jobs worth in protected employment.

Here in the land of the free and the religion of the dollar there are some things that seem IMG 2531 ack handed or “quaint”. Such as ordering contact lenses; joining CostCo online; using a British credit card, especially online or at a petrol station – mainly seems to be a problem of computers (them dam things again) accepting a UK zip code; receiving post – you need a post office box or some deal with a long right armed US Postal Service geezer; no chip and pin, in fact quite often not even a signature; prices quoted without tax, so its always more than it says on the label; not to be outdone by getting Comcast Xfinity TV and Internet set up.

We’re still catching up on the Olympics with the daily 1 hour summary on BBC2 – the less said about that the better.

But has anyone noticed how most of the women in the Olympics seem to be eye candy? Perhaps athletic prowess goes with looks. 

And what’s with this two man bob sleigh event. Why don’t they just replace the second man with a sack of potatoes. Would be about as much use and have the same personality as most of them. Mind you given their role it’s no surprise there’s hardly anyone at home.

 

France has launched a crackdown on drunken skiers in the wake of spate of fatal accidents in the slopes.Inebriated skiers will face criminal prosecution in France under laws that carry a maximum penalty of a year in jail, although a fine of up to €15,000 is more likely for minor offenders. Gendarmes say that one in five ski accidents in France is due to drunkenness, whilst a quarter of skiers aged between 15 and 24 questioned in a recent Austrian study admitted to having descended a slope whilst tipsy.

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No doubt they’ll introduce a new law that requires every skier to carry two breathalyser kits. And no doubt in true French fashion they’ll ignore it and just the Brits will conform.

Tuesday – another hot blue bird day. 48F. Much too warm.

Good mornings skiing. Get my daily quota in. “A black diamond a day, keeps the fear at bay”. Skiing is all about confidence. It is soo much easier to go straight down with little turns than long sweeping turns across the slopes. Snow held up well from yesterday despite all the sun and warmth, but by lunch time it’s like an anaemic slush puppy down at the base.

Please let it snow. Please let it get cold.

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Meet Wendy for lunch at Payday. Then she heads off down to Kimble Junction to buy some buttons for the Thomas Tank jumper she’s knitted. God knows what she’ll do next. At least the knitting keeps her occupied and quiet!

For me I’m on volunteer duty all afternoon at the National Ability Centre. Todays student is just on ski’s so I get to ski with poles and there’s no lugging, lifting and picking them up off the snow. Mind you although she’s skiing very well it’s that slow that I spend the whole afternoon having to snow plough behind her to run interference and stop loonies, scum boarders of course, from running in to her. You’d be amazed at how stupid and reckless some are.

After an afternoons snow ploughing there are muscles in my foot that I never knew I had. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to ski parallel again.

Very wise saying:

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Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

According to the experts we’re all doomed. 

Doomed to be overtaken by computers as the dominant life form on this planet within the next 15 to 25 years.
Life form? Well, almost. Computers will eventually beat us at all mental tasks.
They will chat, joke, flirt, understand us better than we understand ourselves and know the significance of every word mere humans have ever written. These machines will also build more machines, each more amazing than the last. They will reproduce, and their children will conquer the universe.We cannot uninvent computers. 
The question is, can we program them to be content with a good book and a glass of red wine? It’s surely worth a try, but it may already be too late.

Judging by the state of the current programs and web sites, especially those jerk IMG 2480 rained nerds at the BBC, there’s absolutely no chance that any robot will even be capable of crawling out of the slime of a swamp. Just think if it could be achieved we may become the pets and slaves to these superior life forms but at least we might have some access to software, written by a robot, that actually works. Who knows perhaps we’d be able to watch BBC iPlayer without the Law of Maximum Perversity kicking in and boiling my blood. Bring it on.

Now here’s a surprise.

Net immigration has risen to more than 200,000 in a significant blow to David Cameron who has pledged to reduce it below 100,000 by the next general election.

The sooner we get out from under the skirts of Merkel, that snail sucking spendthrift Hollande, along with his harem, and the EU in general the better.

Wednesday – blue bird day. Hot and very sunny.

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Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit it is yet another blue bird day. Wendy’s hit the slopes and an 09:00 start to boot. 49F, too warm.

Praying for snow, lots of it, and let’s get rid of the therms as well.

More misnomers from the World of medicine: 

Being overweight is unhealthy

The accepted wisdom is that if you have a body mass index (BMI) of between 25 and 30, then you are overweight and this will shorten your life.

People with a BMI of between 25 and 30 were actually 6 per cent less likely to die than people considered to have a healthy BMI, ie, 18.5 to 25.

Meanwhile “The Tony Ski Diet” is working a real treat. Lost 9lbs since we got here, IMG 2506 espite consuming copious amounts of beer and red wine. I really think I’m going to start a business of my diet with guaranteed weight loss – could pay for my annual ski trip. That’s a total of 18lbs lost since November and our Marco Island trip. At this rate I’ll need some string to keep me pants up. Mind you I still have a 6% advantage over scrawny geezers.


Whilst I detest the Daily Mail for it’s ability to make me madder than a puffed toad and boil of my blood. I have to say how impressed I was to learn that during WW1 the daily mail broke ranks with all the other newspapers of the day and exposed the wrong kind of shells sent to the western front. Their editorial “the tragedy of the shells”, exposed how the British government / Lord Kitchener in particular was responsible for the death of its own citizens.

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A typical mornings skiing can burn up 1,700 calories. That means I can consume 3 bottles of red wine or 12 bottles of beer a day and not gain an ounce. After 17:00 hours of course.

Seriously raised the question of whether the ruling classes had the ability to lead as generals.  

How come it’s lost it’s way so badly?

Thursday – raining in town and snow on the mountain. 

There’s stupid, there’s really stupid and then there’s brains dropped out (usually reserved for politicians), but I have to admit setting off skiing in the rain falls into the later. At least at the top it’s snowing. Arrived after 10 minutes on the lift looking like an extra for the Snowman film. Jonesys was worth it though with 3″ fresh powder. After 3 runs cocooned in gortex I call it a day. Can’t see where I’m going without wipers on me goggles. Not that It would make much difference as it’s a white out anyway. What a wimp. At least I know my gear works. My Tuesday afternoon volunteering – snow ploughed all afternoon – is still making the old abductor digit minimi ache (foot’s killing me) like IMG 2552hell.

After lunch we pop into town to Carols condo on main street to see if we’d prefer a different coffee table and rug. Then it’s up to the Java cow for a coffee and for Angela a cow biscuit.

More misnomers from the World of medicine: 

Drinking two litres of water a day will do wonders for your body and mind

This is a myth, but where did this figure of two litres come from? It probably dates back to the 1940s when researchers calculated that this was how much water someone’s body used in 24 hours. There is absolutely no evidence to back it up. The IMG 0732boring truth is: just drink when you’re thirsty and you’ll be fine.

The war in Syria began much earlier than is generally recognised. The conflict actually began in the year 632 with the death of that Mo geezer. The same is true of the violence, tension or oppression currently gripping the Muslim world from Iraq and Iran, though Egypt, Bahrain and Saudi Arabia to Yemen, Pakistan and Afghanistan.

What most of the crucibles of conflict in the Middle East have in common is that Sunni Muslims are on one side of the disagreement and Shia Muslims on the other. The rift between the two great Islamic denominations runs like a tectonic fault-line along what is known as the Shia Crescent, starting in Lebanon in the north and curving through Syria and Iraq to the Gulf and to Iran and further east.

Apparently it all stems back to the death of that Mo geezer and his lack of a male IMG 2554 rotch dropping to succeed him – he only had a daughter, like all women in that so called religion, she didn’t count then and females still count for nowt, other than sex objects, breeding machines and scullery maids.

The majority of his hangers on thought his closest fanatic buddy, Abu Bakr, should take over. They became the Sunnis. But a minority thought the Prophet’s closest relative, his son-in-law and nephew Ali, should succeed. Ultimately the Shia.

The two sides agreed on the Quran but had different views on hadith, the traditions recorded by Mo’s hangers on. 

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As the years passed the rift hardened into a schism. The seeds of civil war had been sown.

So yet again religion becomes the source of evil.

Friday – sun, cloud and some snow.

05:30 powder alert phone call, just to make sure I get up. Really must reprogram IFTHISTHENTHAT to ring me after 07:00 when a powder alert emails received. Her in doors has no appreciation of the early morning call and excitement of a powder alert.

On the lifts over here everyone chats away to you, unlike a bus journey full of black bin liners with slits in them in downtown Blackburn. Common question is have you skied in Europe? How does it compare? Answer is “I’m not going back to skiing in Europe unless poverty strikes”. It’s just so much better over here; better service; less crowded; better runs, mainly wider; friendly people; civilised lift lines instead of a rugby scrum; just so much more relaxing and enjoyable. But the one thing a lot of the European resorts, especially Austria, have is the charm of the villages. You’re woken every morning by the church bells summoning the faithful. Over here we have a similar equivalent. It’s the early morning sound of mortars clearing avalanches and summoning the faithful to fresh powder.

Mind you Park City is a great town. Lots of character; awesome free bus service; Park city dusk prospector ph veryone is so friendly; lots going on; no black bin liners and the associated problems. Won Outside Best Town Ever 2013. Quite rightly so. I’m always quite proud to say I’m living the dream here this year. If we ever win the lottery and can afford the US health service then as the Mormons say “This is the place”. And no I’m not thinking of becoming a Mormon!

Everyone here tells me the summers are even better than the winters. My retort is “How can they be? There’s no snow!”. But they insist.

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Awesome 11″ fresh snow. Transforms the tired slush to a winter wonderland. Awesome morning’s skiing with Hal and Randy. All that fresh powder. Thanks guys.

More snow on the way. Let’s be greedy and pray for another 11″ or better still 22″.

After lunch Wendy and I go for a walk (just what I need after a great mornings powder) to do some bike shopping. We want to get a mountain bike ready for the worse weather of summer, no snow that is. They reckon the summers are gorgeous here so we’ll be ready geared up. Try White Pines but not much choice yet and very, very expensive. Walmart’s more in our price bracket as we’ll be giving the bikes away, hopefully to a worthy cause, at the end of the summer. Much cheaper than hiring.

After getting nearly every bike down and test riding them around Walmart, we finally settle on a mountain bike for me and comfort / crossover for Wendy. Pick them up Sunday.

Drop our rent off at Hal’s. It’s actually quicker to get off the bus at Peaks and do the IMG 2584 0 minute walk to our place than stay on and transfer to the green bus. Really getting into this walking and Wendy’s nearly managing to keep pace with me without too much whinging.

Living the Dream.

More misnomers from the World of medicine: 

There’s no such thing as a healthy tan 

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It’s certainly true that ultraviolet light causes skin damage, skin ageing and can lead to skin cancer, but the most lethal form, melanoma, is not straightforwardly related to ultraviolet exposure. Melanoma is more common in people who work indoors than in people who work outdoors.

There is increasing evidence of a huge range of benefits to be got from regular exposure to the sun. Recent studies have shown that low levels of vitamin D are strongly associated with increased risk of heart disease, stroke, schizophrenia, multiple sclerosis, asthma and at least a dozen cancers. S unshine is not just good for your body, it’s good for your mood.

Saturday – snow, sun and cloud.

Another powder alert. 8” this time. Was going to have the day off as Saturdays are IMG 2579usually so busy, but it would be a sin to miss all that powder.

In the 08:55 queue for the start of Eagle lift. Hang on there’s no one there. Dam me no, the lifts on hold due to high winds. Just think Temptations (ski run) is up there waiting with all that powder. 

Oh well Crescent lift it is then.

8″ Virgin powder is more than enough, plus 11″ yesterday. Totally bodacious.

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It’s a war zone out there. Mortar rounds going off to clear the avalanche risk; bodies strewn everywhere; people searching for lost skis; even ski patrollers on their butts, gives me hope; chopped up moguls; even 2 foot wind drifts. Truly cream crackered, legs like a Glaswegian drunk after a Saturday night binge. A well deserved coffee by my favourite fireplace. Meanwhile, from my new tracker app, I have this American sounding wench chunnering away in my ear every 5 minutes telling me how fast and far.

At least this tracker apps better calibrated. No longer doing 106 MPH, back down to a sensible 40 MPH. I really do need to work more on these short turns down the sides of the runs and better control, rather than going off like an escaped banshee chased by a zombie Road Runner. As for deep powder / moguls / chop well that’s a dream, but it does turn your legs to jelly.

After lunch we decide on a walk / bus up to the Canyons. Just a bit more exercise.

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We’d never dream of this in Belthorn, there just isn’t the activities or incentives. But over here, even though it’s cold, it’s just great to get out and enjoy the surroundings.

Even sat waiting for the bus you can be delighted with the simple pleasures of a snow flake drifting down and landing on your eyeball.

At the Canyons sit by the fire listening to the free concert from some band that everyones just ignoring – I wonder if Queen or the Beatles had been playing they would have been ignored. At least it’s some pleasant music and a juggler. Pass on the snores. This dam 2nd commandment of retirement does get in the way over here – “thou shalt not drink before 17:00”. Lively and free afternoons entertainment.

Call in for a black box of Merlot on the way back.

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Breaking Bad in the evening. Trying desperately to keep awake. Exhausted. Then Comcast goes down. Disaster. No Netflix. No Internet.

I think tomorrow will be a day of rest, going all religious. Unless there’s a major powder alert, then who knows what may happen.

Modern day sex education consists of students donning booze glasses (distorts their vision as if drunk). They then have to grope bodies to determine sex; put a condom on a banana. Then no doubt they can choose from 4 of the ugliest girls in the class, thereby appreciating the impact of a few beers on choosing a bird for the night and learning that all important maxim of “pull early before the alcohol kicks in”. Or the wise old saying, “Go for the ugly early and you’ll never go home alone”.It also turn out that condoms are dished out freely. What is the World coming to? But sadly the essential skill of one handed grope and bra opening is not taught  – that Gove geezer needs to get his act together.

Hey, ho the religion of permanent offence are doling out free publicity again:

A petition has been started to get Katy Perry’s latest music video banned. The IMG 2587fantasy video for the song Dark Horse includes a necklace disintegrating in a flash of CGI lighting effects. Apparently the necklace has script bearing the name of the Muslim religious character, Allah. Shazad Iqbal of Bradford, England, condemned the video claiming that the image of the  disintegrating necklace is somehow blasphemous and should be banned from YouTube.

By Tuesday afternoon, the petition had been electronically signed by more than 42,000 fruitcakes, a number dwarfed by the 30 million views the video has garnered on YouTube since Feb. 20.

If anybody can see the supposed detail they’re throwing their burka’s off about, then they must have the eyes of a hawk, with the speed of a a jihadist detonation. Nobody would have noticed, but yet again they’ve managed to give it more publicity than a burka clad stripper in an Iranian mosque. So, as part of my desensitising treatment to help improve the mental health of these fundamentalist freaks here’s the video in case you missed it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KSOMA3QBU0.

Seems to me that a really good way to market any new product or service is to include some reference or image of Mo and leave it to the fundamentalist barbarians from the religion of permanent offence to help it go viral.


 

 

 

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