20130219 – Presidents Day

Monday – a Blue Bird ski day, blue sky, sun but cold.

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Happy Presidents Day – or whatever you say on this auspicious occasion. Pity there’s so many want to ski PC today.

Up and out at the crack o sparrows to be in the lift line for 09:00 and catch first tracks. One of the busiest days of the year. I managed a great mornings skiing with hardly any queues, apart from the odd one down at Silver Load – now there’s surprise. If you know the mountain you can avoid the busy slopes and quite a few runs were empty. An energetic but awesome mornings skiing. By lunch time I was totally knackered, had really filled my boots with a great mountain tour – see map and profile. 

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Met Wendy for lunch at Payday restaurant. After a knitting session she’d managed a two mile walk up towards the slopes and then caught the free bus to Payday. Being the lavish people we are, Wendy smuggled in some buttes – nobody really cares if you eat your own.

Then it’s back to the condo for a few enjoyable hours work on my super fast wifi. What a grand life.

By 21:00 I’m ready for bed.

Buddha images have joined Barbie dolls and characters from The Simpsons TV cartoon as banned items in Iran. 

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito’s:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be how???….)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s “just” a suggestion).

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh)!

Tuesday – another Blue Bird day but very windy and cold. Especially when we’re swing in the wind on those lifts.

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Mind you it must be a Blue Bird day as Wendy comes skiing. She drops me off at 08:45 and today I’m first in line for the lift. More first tracks skiing by 10:30 I’ve been at it non-stop. No Queues. The Presidents day crowds have all gone back to work so it’s very quiet. Just lift, ski, lift, ski.

Meet Wendy down at the bottom and we both ski with Carol and 3 year old Angela. More Wendy’s type of skiing. Mind you having said that at 3 years old Angela is quite nippy and of course has no fear. 

Rest of the morning is an easy and relaxing ski. Watching a 3 year old ski brings back happy memories of Kurt skiing at that age. No fear; straight down; fantastic snow plough turns; on the easier sections skis come parallel but always wide apart and sat back on them; if they fall they just bounce back up.

Then it’s a late lunch at the Corner Store sat outside in a great sun trap. Great location, good food and cheaper than the main lodge.

Another awesome day.

Yet more stupid labels:

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” (…and you thought????…)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me more time?)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (and.. .I’m taking this because???….)

On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to…what?)

Wednesday – cloud and sun.

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!st in line this morning. Is that enthusiasm or madness?

In the afternoon Wendy gets her treat of the week with a trip to the supermarket and I manage to get some work done.

Yet more stupid labels:

On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.” (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as ” to be used for intended use only” basically what it means is don’t use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol)

On Sunsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)

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On a child’s superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Thursday – sun and some snow.

Up and out early to enjoy the best of the 5″ fresh powder promised. Where is it? Yet another false promise the weather forecasters must be politicians. I suppose I should be grateful for just 1″.

Another good mornings skiing.

Met Wendy for lunch up at Payday. 

Pick Chris and D’Shaun up at  the airport in the evening.

Friday – sun and cloud but pretty cold 27F.

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Everyone up at the crack o sparrows. All kitted out and on the slopes by 09:00. I take Chris and D’Shaun on a leisurely mountain tour whilst they get their ski and boarders legs. Yes, I have to be honest and admit that I was out skiing with a snowboarder (D’Shaun). I’m relatively well behaved and limit my quips on snowboarders to a minimum.

Meet Wendy for  sack lunch at Payday. Violate my 1st law and have a beer at lunch time. It’s medicinal as scientific evidence shows that you ski better with some alcohol in you.

Then ski after lunch and Chris and I have the last hour burning up the runs.

Another awesome day and great weather.

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Now some of you may be ware of the great British horse meat scandal (horse meat found in beef burgers) – yes another food scandal on our tiny Island. Thankfully we’re away from it all but of course it is still rumbling on with the press milking it for all its worth. Fortunately it’s spawned a whole genre of Horse meat jokes, with the Tesco supermarket as the main brunt of them:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse …. I guess Tesco just listened!
Anyone want a burger from Tesco? Yay or neigh?
Not entirely sure how Tesco is going to get over this hurdle.
Waitress in Tesco asked if I wanted anything on my burger. So I had £5 each way!
Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night … I still have a bit between my teeth.
A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco. Her condition is said to be stable.
Tesco are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of unicorn

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Saturday – snow, 40 mph winds and very cold 21 F.

Up early and out with Chris for a days skiing. Snow huts standing room only as people shelter from the storm. 4″ of new snow falls during the day so makes some great skiing. For the first time in ages Powder Keg was groomed (double blue) overnight. Normally it’s just heavily mogulled. With the new snow it’s a great run. 4 hours burning up the slopes with Chris. Snowing heavy so some fresh powder and great runs. 40 mph winds, sorts the men from the boys. Can’t believe the maximum speed of 62 mph. These new skis are magic, they do what I want them to.

By 13:00 we’ve filled our boots – see run map and chart. Pick Wendy and De’Shaun up at the Outlets. Looks like they’ve had an expensive morning’s retail therapy. After lunch Chris and De’Shaun go off to explore Main Street in Park City and manage to find a Whisky distillery. We meet up with them in the evening for a good meal in the Red Rock brewery – it’s really buzzing.

More horse meat one liners:

IMG 0881“I’ve just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer … AND THEY’RE OFF”
Tesco now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers, as shoppers confuse barcodes for serving suggestions.
Said to the missus, These Tesco burgers give me the trots….
“To beef or not to beef, that is equestrian”…..
A cow walks into a bar. Barman says, “Why the long face?” Cow says “Illegal ingredients coming over here, stealing our jobs!”
I hear the smaller version of those Tesco burgers make great horse d’oeuvres.
These Tesco burger jokes are going on a bit …. talk about flogging a dead horse.
 

Just when you think you’re safe from Valentine’s day exploitation, in the land of the mighty dollar, the marketing men are out yet again to further milk the gullible masses with shelves full of St Patricks day tat!

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