20121221 – More Culture

Friday – clear blue sky, windy and only 63F. The coldest it’s been.

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Morning working. Alas the World hasn’t come to an end so now I have to go last minute Birthday and Christmas shopping. Bloody Mayans, last time I listen to them – no wonder they’re extinct. I know what to get, yet in the land of plenty can I find it. Never mind plan B problem solved.

After lunch we drive down to Casey Key and visit Nkomis beach. Blowing a gale but clear blue sky. Thankfully I’m not diving today. I think the boat we went out in would have sunk today.

It’s the American way. How to eat ribs – spend 15 minutes with knife and fork stripping meat off into bite sized chunks. Throw knife away. Use fork DSCF7952to deliver bite size chunks to mouth. Chew.

Then we have another only in America business. Flocking usually with pink Flamingos but will use other critters. Confused. We were. You pay a Company an obscene amount of money to put plastic critters all over someones yard along with a Birthday or other celebratory sign.

Saturday – another cold sunny day. Only 63F again, how will we cope?

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Wendy’s birthday – 64. Presents include two Columbia walking shirts and this year I’ve excelled myself and bought one birthday card to act as a belated card for last year plus this year.

Afternoon of culture as we go to the theatre to see “Best of Enemies”. Based on a true story of school desegregation in the 1970’s in North Carolina and the role of a Klux Klux Clan and member of the black community. Disturbing to think that in our lifetimes this level of racial prejudice existed in a supposedly civilised country. Very enjoyable and thought provoking.

School Massacre – relax the NRA have the answer. A week after last weeks gun massacre they’ve obviously been burning the midnight oil to finally come up with the definitive solution. More guns! Armed guards in every school. Can you believe it? Where will that stop. Armed guards in every church. Every shopping mall. Every hospital. Every cinema. Hang on a moment why not arm the teachers? Why not arm all children and then they can defend themselves?

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Who are these numpties? I know it’s nothing to do with us, but this is a country we like and care about. But when will they realise the answers simple. Get rid of the guns. Not just the black ones, the assault rifles, the automatics. All of them. Britain has the toughest gun control. None allowed – results 1 gun death per 7,500,000 citizens per year. USA has 1 gun death per 28,000 citizens per year – 267 times the rate in the UK. What does that fell you.

I heard a great phrase today that can aptly describe this lunacy from the NRA. If the NRA leadership threw themselves to the ground they’re that stupid they’d miss. 

Sunday – warm and sunny.

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Lazy morning. Well not really got 3 hours programming done – joy.

After lunch we drive down to Sarasota for a walk around the Harbour front. Leisurely coffee at Marina Jacks – I’m sure the waitress fancied me judging by the number of time she offered more, coffee that is. Then a chat with some friendly fishermen. I suppose it must get boring for them so they welcome a chat with anybody.

Now for some light humour. Let’s hope any Americans sad enough to read this blog have a sense of humour. They need it with buffoons like the NRA to cope with.

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To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

In light of the recent massacre and the annual slaughter of 10,000 citizens a year through an obsession with an outdated and dangerous 2nd Amendment; your failure to financially manage yourselves; also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Details of Revocation of Independence will be posted on this blog over the coming days. Please read (if you can’t read try and find someone who can), inwardly digest and obey.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).

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Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

The 2nd Amendment will be amended forth with and the word “arms” will be replaced with the words “pink water pistol”.

Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler or a water pistol. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry either in public.

You will immediately notify the Inland Revenue – your new tax collectors – of the location of the fiscal cliff so that they can assess any taxes due.

Within 7 days of this notice all retail outlets will cease the silly practice of advertising the price of goods without taxes. You have to pay the tax so you’ll start being sensible and include the tax – the price you see is the price you pay.

Also within 7 days it will be illegal to produce any bill or invoice (tab but get used to the correct term) with a tip or gratuity already included. Tipping will not be illegal but will normally only occur where there has been good service.

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