20121014 – Batemans Bay to Lakes Entrance

Sunday – sunny but cool.

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Leave our Sydney place today. It was very a great place, modern, everything you needed and all top quality. We’ll miss the greedy Lorikeets, lets hope they don’t starve.

Enjoyed Sydney and the Blue Mountains but the weather was disappointing. Likeall major cities it’s always good to escape.

One thing we certainly won’t miss is the DSCF6512traffic lights. Just bloody debilitating driving anywhere. It takes us nearly an hour to escape from greater Sydney.

Have a lovely drive down the coast to Batemans bays. Pass through Kangaroo valley which has some awesome scenery and a lovely little town for coffee.

Then call at the aptly named Pretty Bay. There are Kangaroos everywhere, some even begging out on peoples front lawns.

Batemans Bay is not as big or as touristy as expected. Have a pleasant shuffle around and afternoon tea.

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In the evening we go out for traditional fish and chips. They’re served in newspaper. No Euro crap health and hygiene here. Mind you they don’t seem to have a law to stop the server scratching her fanny while taking your order. No crabs on the menu. Perhaps there’s crabs on the Map of Tasmania – Ozzie joke. Can be a tad off putting. 

Hope she washed her hands.

Monday – hot and sunny.

MacDonalds for a great breakfast MacMuffin -cholesterol special – and a healthy glass of orange juice.

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Drive down to Marimbula. Pleasant little seaside town. Stop for a coffee and a wander around. Were thinking of staying the night but there’s not really that much there.

Call in at a picturesque National Trust village. But it’s blighted by being wheelie bin day – they’re the scourge the World over. Amazing really as I bet the planning restrictions on this place are tighter than a rats arse, yet the wheelies are every where.

Rayleigh Scattering is also the reason why the sky is blue and the sunset is orange. But then it got me to thinking is it responsible for smoke being blue? Well apparently smoke direct from the tobacco is blue! After inhaling in a humid body and exhaling, the size of particles gets bigger so Rayleigh-scattering never happens. The smoke is grey or brown.

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Good to see that the backlash against the Taliban’s shooting of a 14 year old is gathering pace. The women of Pakistan are really kicking off about it. Perhaps there is hope for religion after all. Perhaps the Muslim religion should let the women rule the roost!

But then we have yet more publicity / demonstrations about that silly film:

A protest by 10,000 Muslims outside the offices of Google in London today is just the first in an orchestrated attempt to force the company to remove an anti-Islamic film from website YouTube in Britain.
Thousands had travelled from as far afield as Glasgow to take part in the demonstration, ahead of a planned million-strong march in Hyde Park in coming weeks.

Anger over ‘The Innocence of Muslims’, an American-produced film which insults the Prophet Mohammad and demeans Muslims, according to protesters, remains available to watch on the website YouTube, a subsidiary of Google.

Organiser Masoud Alam said: “Our next protest will be at the offices of Google and YouTube across the world. We are looking to ban this film.

Whilst I support their right to peaceful protest, please Mr Google “don’t remove the film”. It’s not Imagereally that good but protect our freedom of speech. If they don’t like it, don’t watch it.

Drive on to Lakes Entrance, a further 300k but at least we’ve broke the back of the journey and we should get to Melbourne tomorrow. It’s another seaside resort, nothing spectacular. By the time we arrive it’s over cast but it 28C so we manage a pleasant walk around and pick up my favourite Subway.

This drive down the coast is certainly a way to see Oz but we are getting a bit tree’d out. Problem is the countries so big that the distance between towns of interest is vast. If we were to stop in at all the little beaches I think we’d still be in the Suburbs of Sydney.

Well just to end on a cheery note and forget all these fanatics, here’s a guide to Ozzie Etiquette:

IN GENERAL
1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview. 
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It’s tacky to take an esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it’s time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you’re certain you’re included in the will, it’s rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Don’t allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one’s OWN ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn’t a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.

DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date’s hook – especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you’re interested: “I’ve been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago.”
3. Establish with her parents what time she’s expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it’s the man’s responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can’t hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place)
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks and shoes for the occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun’s loaded and the roo’s in your rifle sight.
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn’t always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it’s impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

 

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