Monday – warmish, sun and cloud.
Parrots are on the balcony squawking for their breakfast. At home we get hoards of boring Starlings squabbling over their food, here it’s the same only they’re beautiful parrots. They have a special porridge like mix with water, but they prefer fruit juice. I think I’ll buy some mix for home and then we’ll get parrots!
Parents were talking about explaining the birds and the bees on Oz radio. One 6 year old rugrat came home and said to his Mum “My mate told me how you make babies. I can’t believe you’ve done that with Dad 4 times (he had 3 siblings), how revolting”. Mum replies “Don’t forget we have twins”. Rugrat says “OK so you did it twice and once for a long time! It’s still revolting”.
Have you ever noticed how all garages position their tills such that you need a pair of hiking boots to get to them. It’s never near the door, but where you have to pass loads of merchandise. A cynical person – which is not in my nature – might say this is yet another example of the marketing ?? exploiting the customers rather
than treating them with respect and minimising the inconvenience.
Lazy day around the house and then a trip into the Mall, need a portable speaker (someone left our other one in a hotel). The Malls lovely, as Malls go, but to top it all I nearly have an orgasm when I see there’s an Apple store. Temptation!
Afternoon tea around the pool just watching all the birds in the Bush. This place is right on the edge of the Bush, another awesome place.
More non PC Ozzie jokes:
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About twenty to thirty kilos!
Why do women stop menstruating in their fifties? ‘Cos they need the blood for their varicose veins!
How do you know your wife’s dead? Sex is the same but the dishes pile up high in the kitchen!
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.. – It’s called a Wedding Cake.
Why do women fake orgasms ? – Because they think men care.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? – Made her chain too long
Why do women have smaller feet than men? – It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? – Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.