20220218 – Malta at Last. Will We Love It Or Hate It?


Our Hotel for the night.

Well, after much campaigning I finally wore Wendy down and we’re off to Malta. Can you believe anyone would not want to go away on holiday to somewhere warmer and sunnier than the hellhole we live in?

Never been to Malta and always wanted to go. It seems to be one of those places people either love or hate, nothing in between, no one says “Yeah, it’s ok”.

Our flights at 14:55 so it’s a leisurely start to the day.

Much to Wendy disgust we’re flying Easy Jet again, what no Virgin Premium. How will she cope. Checkin and security pretty slick. Lounge ok, but not a patch on lounges in the rest of the World Just another aspect of that dump Manchester Airport. But, at least we get a lunch and plenty of drinks. It’s free with our NatWest Dragon pass but if I had to pay £30 I’d think 3 times.

Flights leaves an hour late. We’ve got front row seats so plenty of leg room, but ot’s cold. Complain to the miserable steward and ask if they can turn the heating up only to be told. “Well it’s draught from the door”. “You’re in a tin can”. I say “Bloody hell, you mean this things not pressurised, any minute now the Oxygen mask will be coming down”. They’re useless, rude and miserable. If they were to smile I’m sure they’d shatter into a thousand pieces and no banter with their CUSTOMERS. A budget airline and with service like this will always be seen as cheap, and what can you expect from them. A shame really because they have so many good things going for them just spoilt by money grabbing and useless, rude staff.

Arrive in Malta and quickly through immigration in minutes. Uber for a taxi, just 2 minutes. Brilliant service.

Check into holiday Inn Express it’s in the middle of a trendy up market district infested with youngsters and half clothed birds. Pop out for a cake for our tea and then back to the hotel for a free drink before bedtime.



Ricky Gervais


Wendy was kept awake until about 02:00 with the monotonous thumping of teenage tribal music from the local bars and discos.

Breakfast was one of the best ever and the restaurant manager came round and had a pleasant chat with tips on where to go. All the staff were very friendly, the hotel was awesome one of the best but sad to say spoilt by the noise overnight.

It’s a nice sunny day and in the 60’s Fahrenheit

Summon an Uber to the airport. Then have a tour all around the airport looking for that well hidden Hertz desk. Finally find it and pick our car up. We’ve had an upgrade to a Kia Stonic, a great medium sized SUV with Apple Car Play – one of the benefits of Presidents Circle.

Then it’s a 40 minute drive to our Airbnb in Mill???. No motorways and amazed how many backstreets Apple Car Play knows.

Welcomed at our Airbnb by our hostess. Gives us the grand tour, explains everything, and there’s even a supply of welcome food essentials, a very nice touch. Our 3 bedroom home along with outdoor pool, patios and barbecues galore, not to forget great sea views over to Gozo.

Soon get settled in and Apple TV set up.

Pool and view over to Gozo.

First day would not be complete without a trip to the local supermarket, and then when Wendy spots an M&S she’s orgasmic.

Go out for dinner. A nightmare parking. Can’t find the intended restaurant but settle for Peter’s. Great food and reasonably priced, I try the traditional rabbit stew – seeing as I was bought up on rabbit courtesy (my Dad used to snare them) I just love rabbit. It seems that every restaurant in Malta serves rabbit – awesome.

Then it’s back home for the rest of Sherwood once we’ve conquered the crap from BBC – those tripehounds couldn’t write an “Hello World” app, never mind BBC iPlayer it’s a travesty, a disgrace to the IT Industry, time for some brown envelopes starting with their IT Director. The house is pretty cool so have the air con on set to 31C.


The snowflakes are at it again.

The rewriting of Roald Dahl’s children’s books to remove language deemed offensive has been branded “absurd censorship”.

The publishers said they had carried out a review of Dahl’s classics to ensure they can be enjoyed by all children.

Content deemed offensive, such as references to weight, mental health, violence, gender and race were removed or rewritten.

Some of the edits reportedly include removing the word “fat” from every book, with Augustus Gloop in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory instead being described as “enormous”.

If they carry on replacing words at this rate the Oxford English Dictionary will only be two pages long. Ridiculous.


Lazy start to a warm sunny day.

Then we set off for a drive down to St Paul’s bay. Easy to park up and have a pleasant walk along the seafront. Very pleasant and relaxing. Stop off for a coffee and lunch for Wendy.

Pop into Lidl on the way home. Then settle in for a coffee sat in the sunshine around the pool. This is all too relaxing.

Well first impression of Malta are good – in Wendy’s case it could have something to do with an M&S and a Lidl. Yes, it’s a fairly typical Mediterranean resort but not as chaotic or dirty as most. People seem very friendly and a pleasant blend of old and new. Roads are fairly basic which is not surprising given the size of the island.

Quiet night in watching BBC and Netflix – thanks to our Apple TV box and a Smart DNS service.

trivia header

With a population of about 516,000 over an area of 316 km2 (122 sq mi), Malta is the world’s tenth-smallest country by area and fourth most densely populated sovereign country. Its capital is Valletta, which is the smallest national capital in the European Union by area and population. According to the data from 2020 by Eurostat, the Functional Urban Area and metropolitan region covered the whole island and has a population of 480,134, and according to the United Nations, ESPON and EU Commission, “the whole territory of Malta constitutes a single urban region”. Malta increasingly is referred to as a city-state, and also listed in rankings concerning cities[28] or metropolitan areas.[29]

Malta became a British colony in 1813, serving as a way station for ships and the headquarters for the British Mediterranean Fleet. It was besieged by the Axis powers during World War II and was an important Allied base for operations in North Africa and the Mediterranean. The British parliament passed the Malta Independence Act in 1964, giving Malta independence from the United Kingdom as the State of Malta, with Elizabeth II as its queen. The country became a republic in 1974. It has been a member state of the Commonwealth of Nations and the United Nations since independence, and joined the European Union in 2004; it became part of the eurozone monetary union in 2008.





5 Megabyte IBM hard drive.

Happy days when we had proper mainframe computers.

One of the first mainframes I wrote programs for was the height of sophistication, as well as tape drives we had 2 Megabyte Exchangeable hard Drives. Can you believe that I ran all the companies accounting etc on an ICL 1903 with just two 2 Meg drives. The computer had a dedicated air conditioned room.


Lazy start to another warm sunny day.

Drive down to the local beach at Mellieha, for a stroll, coffee and Wendy’s lunch. Sit by the bay enjoying a coffee and lovely views over the bay. Beach is typical Mediterranean travesty, a real shame on such a lovely bay and the swimming looks great, shallow and crystal clear.

Call in at the Red Tower but are too tight to spend the E5 to go in. Call in the supermarket for our daily fix and some “essentials”.

Afternoon tea and cake by the pool, enjoying the sun and warmth.

Tea tonight consists of a dinner kebab takeaway from the Kebab Factory, not quite up to Number 39 standards.

Meanwhile to prepare Wendy for our Israel trip we watch the rest of season 3 of Fauda. All she keeps asking me is “we won’t be going to places like that (Gaza and West Bank)? Will we?”.

trivia header

No there aren’t 365 churches in Malta only a mere 359 churches, cathedrals and chapels dotted around the Maltese Islands. Given that there are about 516,000 residents that means a church for every 1,437 residents. Not a bad ratio.


Mediterranean Life

I’ve been saying it a long time but never really formalised my views on the Med holidays. Well here goes with my views on anywhere in Europe South of Latitude 43 degrees North, in line with the Pyrenees:

1 Everything is a work in progress. Nothing’s finished, pavements are like an SAS obstacle course; bare wires protrude from the ground like nettles; rubbish is a work of street art with overflowing bins and black bin bags; wasteland and tourist areas that look like a rubbish tip.

2 Service and way of life is lackadaisical (lacking enthusiasm and determination; carelessly lazy). SNAFU’s come as standard. No one seems to really give a damn and you can forget any ideas of customer care.

3 Manyana, perhaps. Nothing is hurried or even at what civilisation would consider a normal pace, life is slowed down to the pace of an arthritic turtle – perhaps it’s the heat. We’re spoilt by our expectations of a civilised life and struggle to cope with this laid back, careless life in the Med.

4 Driving standards are reflected in the state of most cars, they look like they’ve survived a war zone. You never really learn to swear until you drive in the Med.

5 In the main most resorts are dirty, littered and graffiti abounds.

6 Flying there may be somewhat cheaper and shorter, but it’s still a day of hell, best written off. The standards of the flights are barely tolerable. Certainly not Virgin Atlantic.

7 Toilets, last but by no means the most disgusting aspect of Med life. They usually stink like the shithouse door of a shrimp boat, but at least it stops you lingering and reading the newspaper; the toilet seat thieves from France frequently operate in most resorts (I still wonder where they all go, perhaps there’s a 3rd world market – Ten toilet seats and a door and window made of aluminium, have been stolen from recently refurbished public conveniences in St Paul’s Bay, the locality’s council said.); occasionally they meet minimum EU standards with a mere hole in the ground; and most disgusting of all is the pathetic plumbing that means you have to deposit your shit laden toilet paper in a bin to ensure the stink is maintained.

On the plus side they have a lot of historic buildings, along with the sun and warmth we crave these days. Scenery can be spectacular.


Both Wendy and I have the come to the same conclusion:

1 Wherever possible avoid anywhere in Europe South of latitude 43 degrees North.

2 Whilst there are cheaper and shorter flights to the Med we are better off going to either America or can you believe, even France!


Lazy start to another warm sunny day.

Drive over to the Silent City, Mdina. Flying the flag as a “Quiet American” with my 4th July tee shirt.

It’s a lovely walled city. Yet more churches and even a cathedral, daylight robbery it’s $18 to get in. What about if my immortal soul is wanting to repent and see the light. Tough shit if you don’t have $18, to line the already overloaded koffers of the Catholic Church, you can just go rot in hell. So much for “In my house there are many mansions”, none of them FOC. Needless to say we pass on the spiritual experience.

Have a spot of lunch at a cafe with great views, try the strawberry meringue with walnuts and lemon curd, very tasty. Really getting into Cappucinos.

Call in at one of the many bays. You know Malta’s a very religious place when you notice a women crossing herself before stripping off to reveal her bikini.

So here I am a 73 year old body enjoying the delights of Malta. Meanwhile my 16 year old mind wonders what the hell it’s doing here.

Burnt ends of pork for tea tonight followed by an over dose of TV and wine.





And the majority of those will be Christians. Does our press bother to report these events? Sadly no as it doesn’t fit their snowflake agenda and might offend some in the religion of pieces and permanent offence. Let’s wake up to this pernicious ideaology before it’s too late and our daughters and granddaughters are nothing more than sex slaves aparaded around in black bin liners.


A woke university has been criticised for discouraging use of the phrase ‘Christian name’, claiming it is offensive to non-Christians.

The University of Kent has told students to stop using the term because it claims it only relates to Christians, instead suggesting students say ‘first name’ or ‘given name’.
The university also took against using the word ‘surname’ because it derives from ‘sire-name’ and is therefore deemed to be patriarchal.


Lazy start to another warm sunny day.

Off to Valletta for the day. Amazed how pleasant the place was. Easy to park. Did a great walk around, the best way to see a place. Great street cafes, pass on all the shops.

Wendy starts off bitching why is it that women always have to queue for the toilets. It’s oh so simple, they’re badly designed.

Lovely lunch in one of the parks with views over the battery. Finally get to try pasties, chicken, pea and cheese varieties. Amazed how good they are and even more shocked that I preferred the pea one.

Tonight’s tea at Il Barri restaurant started with a free starter of Sally the snail, about 20 of them in a tomato sauce, Wendy passed, followed by a mixed grill of Peter rabbit, Quincy the quail and Red Rum the race horse. Delicious.

Back home for some beer and wine. sadly Wendy does not fancy driving over here.




I’m not eating one of them.


Another lazy start to yet another warm sunny day.

Today we’re off to Gozo so we need to catch the ferry. All very slick.

Arrive at the capital Victoria. The roads are a nightmare and there’s only one public car near the Citadel. It’s chock a block along with underground car park. Get fed up of driving around trying to park so quit and head back. Apart from the Citadel, and god knows how many churches, there doesn’t seem much worth seeing. We’re so pissed off with the parking we even pass on a couple of the bays and cut our losses.

Back home for lunch followed by a stroll up to M&S, Wendy’s treat, and then the supermarket.

Tea tonight is pizza with beer then wine.


Sweden Bans Burning the Qur’an, but Burning the Scriptures of Other Religions Is OK


How parasites work:

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