Busy, busy, busy so no time for sick humour, religion or rants on this blog and an extended one to cover the rest of our time in the parks.

Up and out early, usual drill, this time we’re off the Universal Studios.

The parks not crowded, apparently Florida rug rats have gone back to school. Not long queues for the rides and there’s a great area for kids to play in with climbing frames and ball parks. Of course we have to do the ET ride.

The Bourne Identity stunt show is very impressive.

Back home by 16:30 for some pool time for the kids and some beer (Pilsner Urquell one of the very few decent beers sold in this brewers wasteland) and wine for the adults.

No parks today so we get a lie in. K&F are having a day at the mall – can you believe it?

No mall for Wendy, I’d rather spend a day in a supmarket with Wendy. Instead we take the grandkids to play crazy golf. Jasper loves it; Beatrix is ok but gets too hot; Esther has a meltdown for no apparent reason and throw her dummy in a swamp.

Then it’s an evening in with no alcohol and kids running riot.

 
Esther, just three years old and she takes an iPad to the toilet with her!

Up at the crack of sparrows yet again but Animal Kingdom doesn’t open until 09:00. Could have had a lie in.

Safari is the first and best ride of the day. Then have a good day around the park. Hot and humid. As always the kids enjoyed it.

It’s Universal Islands of Adventure today. Hot and humid, draining. Wendy and I don’t do many rides as were tending the girls while the kids do the white knuckle rides. Take them to most of the kiddy rides and shows. Kids and grandkids enjoy it but for us it has to be the worst park and we’re not looking forward to a second visit. We finally escape by 16:00, totally drained. Then it’s the journey from hell home in rush hour traffic with the satnav taking on a hellish magical mystery tour.

Rug rats run riot after tea. A pity my hearing aids are working.

A quiet no alcohol evening in catching up with Outlander.

 
The traffic lights around here are a nightmare. You could die of old age just waiting for them to turn green. Traffic is just hell on earth. How do they cope with this daily hell. This has to be the worst city we’ve ever endured. Never again.

Usual crack of sparrows ordeal.

Off to Epcot for the day. Wendy and I are doing a leisurely stroll around the lands sans grandkids. It’s hot and humid. The rest meet up with Rachael and do their own thing with the kids.

Finish at lunch time for a change. Traffic is so much better. Then a leisurely afternoon while Wendy and Fiona go for a shopping trip in hell at Walmart – that’s what you get when you don’t wear your pyjamas to Walmart along with the crazy people.

Kurt, Jasper and I set off to the train station to catch a free train to a a basketball game. Traffic is the usual hell and just to make life even more miserable and difficult all the roads around the train station are closed off due to a Halloween street party. End up parking on a street.

It’s our first basketball game. Orlando Magic at the Amway Centre in Orlando. Certainly fast moving and not boring. Great stadium and junk food. Finally get a decent hot dog with all the trimmings and a soft pretzel, can’t believe how much salt there is on it. I love salt but I needed at least 10 of the $5.50 bottles of water – can you believe that price.

 
You’re probably wondering what’s this photo for? Well look closely and observe. Yes, both shoelaces are undone and he’s a teenager. Care to guess his occupation? Simple, he’s one of those 10 year old moronic programmers I keep ranting on about who has no common sense and is incapable of tying his own shoelaces. Beware, they shouldn’t be allowed out and certainly not allowed anywhere near a computer.

Typhoon lagoon so chance for a lie in.

Hot an and sunny. Can’t cope with sun bathing sit in the shade. Wave pool is ok. And have couple of trips around the lazy river with the kids.

Quiet evening in after Wendy and Fiona Walmart yet again – the super market from hell.

3 kids all to ourselves at islands of adventure today. Untold joy. We’re reporting Kurt to the RSPCG. We’re abused grandparents.

Kurt and Fiona get a free day to them selves to ride the white knuckle rides – Fiona birthday present.

I tackle the spider man rides with Jasper just about below my pewk point. Seus land is great for the kids. Then we catch the train over to universal studios. First ride is the Simpson ride with Jasper. Never again for me. Jasper loves it.

Birthday cake for Fiona and donuts for Jasper.

An alcohol free night and some more outlander.

Crack of sparrows start, then off to Hollywood studios. First stop Star Wars Rise of the Resistance, one of the best rides. Can you believe a 90 minute queue and then it breaks down so turns out 120 minute. Crap customer service with hardly any information on progress and didn’t even inform us when it had been fixed. Not even marks on the wall as to how many minutes from ride. But it is a great ride, well below my pewk point.

The park is heaving with folks, probably because it’s Halloween. Need to fit razor blades to the front of the push chairs, should at least sever the Achilles heels of anyone in the way. On top of the crowds it’s hot and humid, and the queues are horrendous, even for the kiddy rides and shows. Wendy and I settle down for a relaxing coffee while the rest go Mickeys shooting ride. By which time we’ve all had enough and escape at about 14:00.

Kids go trick and treating. Come back with all of two sweets and 25 cents, not exactly an unmitigated success. Mind you on the plus side we have no kids begging at our door.

When they finally get the kids and grandkids to bed we finish off the last of Outlander.

 
Outlander has to dispel any theory of American TV being prudish. More sex, nudity and gruesome violence.

Never thought I’d complain about sex scenes but 25% of an episode with a Claire in a languid sex scene, just too long. Then they add her daughter Bree to to the sex scenes and you’ve got the potential for 50% of an episode being taken up with lackadaisical sex scenes – boring – but at least they emphasise their best breast, the right side.

Well Kurt and Fiona need a rest from the parks, the parks, queues, heat and humidity drained them, no stamina. They’re spending a relaxing day at the house with the kids. Wendy and I, the geriatrics, take Jasper to Typhoon lagoon. Have a great time with him, wave surfing, lazy river and water slides. Surprising how exhausting it is but we survive.

Quiet night in. Well never really quiet with the kids around but we just laze around.

Magic kingdom today. Lazy morning, kids enjoy the pool.

Set off in the afternoon. Hot and heaving. Long wait times but kids get quiet a few rides in including Buzz Light year. Wendy and I resort to chai latte’s. Then after pirates of the Caribbean the heavens open up whilst we wait for the enchantment laser and firework show, pretty impressive show just a pity about the boat 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide, and 30 cubits high made of gopher wood floating past. The things you do for kids.

End the night with a well deserved whiskey night cap – Basil Hayden Toast it’s awesome, very mellow.

Another lazy morning, kids in the pool and Fiona gets her fix with a walk to Walmart.

After lunch we’re off to Hollywood studios to catch the first l performance of Fantasmic. Watch the Indiana Jones show followed by Mickey’s run away train ride. Then we join the queue for Fantasmic, can you believe the queue extends all the way back to the entrance to the park. What is even more disturbing if the number of adults with no kids who are in the queue, bizarre, must be mentally retarded. Kids must represent about 3% of the audience really in the minority. At least parents have a valid excuse for tolerating this abuse. We start queuing at 17:45 and get in the theatre about an hour later. Then it’s a further wait until the show starts at 20:00.

Kids chicken out today. No stamina again. So it’s a lazy morning for Wendy and I.

After lunch we take Jasper to typhoon lagoon again. Wendy has to sit out, no bikini, but Jasper and I have a great time in the wave pool, lazy river and on the slides. He’s never any trouble, full of laughter, joy and never shuts up. Loves telling jokes and riddles.

Panda express for tea with a quiet night in while the kids pack ready for leaving tomorrow.

 
Well it’s been an exhausting but awesome 17 days and we’ve survived it. How lucky can we be to get to spend such quality time with our kids and grandkids. To see their faces and joy as they meet the characters, enjoy the rides and the shows. To see Jasper skipping ahead with eager anticipation and happiness to get to the water slides will be a memory I’ll never forget. All very expensive but worth it. Such awesome memories.

 
Now for the rant. Yes, awesome to spend such great times with the kids but Disney has lost the plot. Rip off $20 per person per day to jump the queues, creating a second class standby customer; the queues were diabolical; parades and shows were all cut back. As for Orlando the traffic and delays at traffic lights were unbelievable. People could die of old age waiting for the traffic lights. Disney never again and Orlando never again, I think we’ve had the best of it in previous years rampant greed has taken over.