20120915 – Tamborine Mountains

Sunday – warm and sunny.

Lazy day around the house.  Settle down to read the Steve Jobs biography – Doug has it in hardback form so I needn’t have bought the Kindle edition.

The house and views are stunning.

In the mornings as we have breakfast on the deck we get to listen to the laughing Kookabora http://www.freesound.org/people/pocket/sounds/44554/,


Who needs an iPhone when the house is equipped with the latest communication systems uses that new fangled thing called electricity. Apple watch out!










In the evening we can keep ourselves entertained with music from our state of the art hifi system. 

Great to just relax after all those hotels and travelling. Manage to do a bit of work in the afternoon.

To improve my Oz beyond the Teach Your Self Oz level and give you an example I’ve constructed a typical Oz sentence.

“A larrikin digger one arvo sees a spunk nuddy Sheila with a great mappa tassie and so fancies having a naughty, but alas he has no franger for his old fella so he’s spewin”. Translation at the end of this blog.

How have they got the brass balls:

“Calls in Pakistan for the producer and all those involved in the production and release of the movie must be hanged publicly and that:

The US must make a law against blasphemy — or we will not let the US consulates in Pakistan function”.

Let’s hope they make the same threat to the UK and we ignore it. Then the UK and the US can save Billions in foreign aid – although our dhimi politicians will probably act on it and double the foreign aid.


Monday – warm and rain.

Day starts off fine so we drive down to the tourist info in the village. Did plan on doing a walk but it starts to rain.

Pop in at the Polish place for a drink. Try a Polish coffee. The coffee grinds are still in the cup and you pour cream on it to settle the grinds to sludge in the bottom.  Strong – I don’t think I’ll sleep for a week.

They have parrots galore their. They’ll come and eat the food off your table whilst you’re having lunch. and we get our first glimpse of a Kookabura. What a beautiful cuddly looking bird.

Wifi in the house is great 4.5Meg. I think this is what it must be like in heaven.

Techy talk – ignore this paragraph. Regrettably once I switch my VPN it deteriorates to 450K. Ping is 400m – is that realistic given the distance to the UK? I wonder whether it’s the latency that’s causing so many retries and hence attenuating the speed. Or is it just the usual VPN service degrading as they get too many customers. I did warn you but you couldn’t resist could you. Don’t you just love dirty talk!

Meanwhile more censorship:

“A screening of a controversial documentary on the history of Islam has been cancelled on security advice after its presenter was threatened. Holland was threatened online with a torrent of abusive messages on Twitter.

Historian Tom Holland’s Channel 4 film Islam: The Untold Story sparked more than 1,000 complaints when it was broadcast.

A Channel 4 spokeswoman said: Having taken security advice, we have reluctantly cancelled a planned screening of the programme Islam: The Untold Story. We remain extremely proud of the film which is still available to view on 4oD.

There appears to be no mention of the police following up the violent threats, perhaps they are too busy with following up trivial un-PC insults to worry about a violent attack on free expression”.


Tuesday – rain but warm.

No breakfast on the patio today it’s raining.

Drive down to Southport to have a look around. High rises everywhere. Not really all that attractive but clean.

Try to get some coffee but such an abysmal choice. They must all live on Nescafe and instant coffee. Finally track down a Dan Murphy’s – cheap liquor store. £60 later we’re stocked up on wine, beer and Bacardi.

Get some serious SQL programming done in the evening. Work, it’s that four letter word.


“An Iranian religious group has increased a reward offered for the murder of British author Salman Rushdie after managing to blame him for The Innocence of Muslims film”.


Wednesday – hot and sunny. Normal breakfast service on the patio is resumed. Just look at those awesome views.

“Ughh, snake, snake” goes the cry from Wendy as she goes into the downstairs laundry room. Excitement. False alarm it’s just a very thin lizard.

Politicians, there just bloody useless. Sat here on the balcony looking out onto the Gold Coast makes you start to think.

It was the bloody politicians who sent the criminals here to this country. If they’d had an ounce of common sense they’d have left the scrots in the UK and let the rest of us go to Oz or the USA.

Two fantastic countries lost and what are we left with? A near bankrupt country paying out billions to a load of lazy scrots. I’ve no problem with the concept of a welfare state to help people on hard times but what’s wrong with workfare. If you get welfare then you should earn it, when will the politicians fix this, its not rocket science. Rant over.

Birds here are amazing, in our garden we have all sorts of parrots, magpie, kookaboro and new species that no one else has discovered. Never mind Wendy’s iPhone app will help solve that. Then there’s the bird cries. Just like you imagine in the jungle a real cacophony of eerie and sometimes scary sounds. Fantastic! Yes I keep mentioning the iPhone. If she’s really lucky I might give her an iPhone 4 in excellent condition – did anyone mention the new iPhone 5’s been released.

Go down to the Botanical Gardens in Tamborine. This is a first for us. Better not let the kids know. What with bird watching and gardens they’ll be having us committed. They’re absolutely amazing and what’s more they’re free. Great birds also. See that picnic table, it’s been superbly varnished, a glass like finish.

Oz definition of foreplay – “you awake”?

Then go down to the Curtis Falls in the midst of a tropical rain forest. A very enjoyable afternoon.

Here we go again a French magazine has had the audacity to publish some cartoons of Mohamed. This could get interesting. They’re just cartoons for gods sake:

France in lockdown over Moe-toons, French gov’t orders 20 embassies, schools to close

Earlier today a kosher store in the Paris suburbs were bombed. Despite the West’s delusion and denial, we are at war. Freedom of speech in the age of  jihad. Stand up, fight back. Do not sacrifice freedom so as not to offend savages.

“Charlie Hebdo’s chief editor, who goes by the name of Charb and has been under police protection for a year, defended the cartoons.”I’m not the one going into the streets with stones and Kalashnikovs,” he said”.


Thursday – hot and sunny.

Breakfast on the deck. Not only are the views and birds awesome but the smells from the plants are just lovely.

Reasons why a beer is better than a women:

            If you pour a beer right you always get a good head.

            You can have a beer in public.

Then we drive down to Tamborine National Park – it’s on our doorstep. Queenslands first National Park founded in 1908.  Have our lunch at a picnic spot. Can you believe it they even have free barbecues set up in all the parks? Do a 5k walk to Witches Falls. A tad disappointing as it’s only a trickle when you get there despite the recent rain, but the  walk through the rain forest was worth it. It’s 28C today but is nice and cooler in the rain forest.

Splash out and have a leisurely coffee at the Bavaria House complete with typical German music. Brings back good memories of our German trips.

How can we be so lucky? Tamborine Mountain and the house is awesome. Seems so much nicer than the coast and oh so relaxing. It’s certainly on a par with Sedona.

You know you’ve arrived in Oz when your car has Roo bars.

Everyone you meet is so friendly. I’m sure it’s the sunshine brings out the best in people and makes them happy.

“Crack Jenny’s teapot” to spend a night in a brothel.

Some useless facts from the Oz bureau of statistics:

             31 Ozzies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree lights whilst they’re plugged in.

Don’t you just love it:

“GENEVA | Wed Sep 19, 2012

(Reuters) – A leading Islamic organization signaled on Wednesday that it will revive long-standing attempts to make insults against religions an international criminal offence.

The bid follows uproar across the Muslim world over a crude Internet video clip filmed in the United States and cartoons in a French satirical magazine that lampoon the Prophet Mohammad.”


Friday – overcast but warm.

Drive down to Broad beach on the Gold Coast to visit Pam who we’ve not seen in 20 years. Have a pleasant afternoon in her lovely apartment, then take a stroll around Broad Beach. As we’ve missed lunch we have “Lunner” in a Bavarian Café. I think I must have died and gone to heaven. As well as a lovely German meal I have a pint – well 500ml, even better – of draught Hof Brau followed by draught Lowenbrau – sorry about the missing umlaut. And to top it all both were served in the correct barrel glass. Proper beer in proper jugs. Not a bloody flower vase, but then comes the bill £8 a 500ml – what a great way to end the day, it’s only money!

And here’s the two of them are deciding on what to eat – how would I ever get a word in edgeways


Then Wendy has the long dark drive back up the mountain. Fortunately we didn’t need the Roo bars or splat a Koala.


Meanwhile it’s good to know that the UK has it own band of religious fruitcakes:


“Fashion chain Next has been slammed by Christian nutters over a Sinners T-shirt which depicts a woman in underwear coupled with Bible references.

The T-shirt carries the headline Sinners and strap line The Night Before above the seductive image of a woman in black underwear lying on a bed. Below the image is the slogan Live for the Day. Finally, there is a long smallprint passage which carries a number of definitions of sin including one from the Bible from epistle to the Romans, chapter seven”.

If any body missed the controversial video thats caused the Muslim world to throw its tows out the pram yet again, here it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAiOEV0v2RM&feature=youtube_gdata_player.


It’s not really all that good and would probably have withered on the vine if the savages hadn’t, yet again, and rioted, slaughtered and killed in order to try and get their own way. In the name of all those on the receiving end of this senseless savage violence and free speech I feel compelled to watch it and promote it.


Well I don’t know about anyone else but I’m just totally brassed off with religion. What a bunch of savage superstitious hypocrites most of them are. As that great atheist Pat Condell says “If Jesus or Mohamed – assuming they ever existed – came back now they be appalled at what is being done in their name”. I think we should take any of these religious fruit cakes and deport them to a spare continent. I suggest Africa might be a good choice. It’s already heavily populated with a goodly smattering of nutters. Then these savages can all terrorise, rape, pillage, fight, kill, stone, decapitate, flog, crucify, torture and persecute one another until Armageddon.

Did we have similar riots and violence when “The Life of Brian” and the “Holy Grail” were launched?


Never mind having a international blasphemy law, what about an international intolerance law that sends to Africa anyone who tries to cripple free speech or spouts religious bolox.


Answer to the translation exercise:


“A cheeky chappy soldier one afternoon sees a lovely nude women with a great pubic region and so fancies having sex with her, but alas he has no condom for his penis so he’s very annoyed”.


Great news if my house is a place of worship then you don’t pay council tax. Well I’ve just had an epiphany. Every morning the Kookaburo wakes me with its infectious laughter, it tells the sky people to light the great fire in the sky that warms the earth, and it’s spirit revealed to me a vision to cease my wicked ways and go forth and enjoy the full fruits of Mother Earth (Hedonism) and henceforth start a new religion called Tonylim. I can tell you it was a very spiritual moment. I’m therefore declaring 18 Rydal Mount, Belthorn a place of worship for Tonylim. Open house and all welcome to worship in the zen garden every Monday at 21:44 when the Grand Elder Tony is present – bring your own wine.


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