20210412 – Escape At Last to A Staycation in Anglesey

After 4 months of lockdown they have finally let us loose, but only within the UK. How will we cope out in this brave new World surrounded by masked strangers? We’re off to a cottage in Anglesey. Yes, I know it’s in Wales and yes I know it will be full of Welsh people. I just have to escape, to travel, to avoid this awful weather. At least if the weather is awful there we’ll be somewhere different and can explore.

So off we set after Wendy has dilly dallied getting ready. Always the case.

The Welsh tourist board have put on a special welcome for us. Once we cross the border into Wales there are two traffic jams within 5 minutes of crossing. For my American friends, you have to understand that Wales is a chauvinistic chicken shit little country within the UK with aspirations of independence and who spend a fortune on signs in their own language and, especially in North Wales. They seem to have a mutually shared resentment and antipathy towards the English, taking great delight in switching to Welsh whenever the English are around. In the past, we had Offas dyke to keep them at bay.

Cross over the famous Menai bridge and stop for a shop at Waitrose. Wow, they sure knew how to build bridges in those days. No thin strip of metal suspended on string but six 6″ wide solid metal links acting as the a chain link suspension. Yes, they even have a Waitrose. Spend a fortune on convenience food and spot a nice-sounding Bourbon, Eagle Rare, which turns out to be awesome, and of course a couple of bottles of wine.

Having said all that about the Welsh our first three encounters with the locals are very friendly and pleasant. Makes me forget we are in Wales.

Our cottage is lovely. Modern, fresh, warm, well decorated and equipped, spotlessly clean, and best of all only £60 a night. Ideal for the two of us. Sadly the water in the bathroom is non-existent.

Soon fixed by plumber Edwards turning the stop tap back on. Then we try the wifi and it’s the usual story, 45 minutes of trying everything. Can’t even see their network. Then we encounter a typical arrogant Welsh zonderkeit who accuses my iPhone (doesn’t he know it’s made by Apple) of being the reason for my lack of wifi. Not that it’s anything to do with their wifi, as evidenced by two iPhones, two iPads, a MacBook, and their Netflix TV all failing to detect their network. Then miraculously it all springs to life. Why can’t the hospitality industry get it that wifi is essential, just like electricity and water! It’s not rocket science to set up and test.

Soon get settled in and after the all-important afternoon cup of tea, we take a stroll around the village of Aberffraw and down the river. It’s alovely little village if somewhat dilapidated.

Settle in for yet another quiet evening with wine and intermittent Netflix. Finish off the last episode of the Vikings. What a great series.

Awake to a gorgeous sunny but cold day. This is more like it, makes the World and me seem so much better.

After our usual leisurely start to the day – breakfast, tea, coffee and too much news from around the World with Apple News (no dirty ink stained hands), we set off for a drive up to Holyhead.

RAF Valley is on the Island which explains the regular roar of fighter jets overhead. Somewhat comforting sight and sound to know that they’re trained and ready at a moments notice if needed.

Have a wander around Holyhead. What a dump. At least there’s no homogenised shopping. All individual shops, mostly dirty, closed, run-down, in need of a lick of paint. The main ones open seem to be the inevitable charity shops. As Wendy says it’s even worse than Blackburn – that’s some accolade. Later in the day, we discover why it’s such a dump, on the outskirts of town is a modern out-of-town shopping park with all the homogenized shops your shopping bags and credit cards could dream of.

Have a stroll around the Breakwater Country Park. Very pleasant, then it’s off to the Stacks Light House. It’s closed due to covid but at least we can wander around the cliffs and take in the views. At £6 a pop – to knacker yourself climbing all those stairs – I don’t think this skinflint would have bothered anyway.

Call in at the first of many remains of Neolithic settlements. Wendy can hardly wait to visit more and there are many more. The whole Island is infested with them. I wonder how they coped without wifi?

Then it’s a leisurely drive back, not forgetting a minor detour for a merchandising opportunity in Morrissons – sadly no decent Sardines.

Afternoon tea followed by a walk down the river to the beach. NB: next time we go for a walk wear waterproof hiking boots.

Another pleasant evening in trying to watching you know what and sampling my Eagle Rare Bourbon – awesome, the Bourbon that is.

End to a sunny day.

Well another lazy start to the day. Find time to do this blog which is a lot more therapeutic and less stressful than reading todays bad tidings in Apple News.

Set off to explore some of the burial chambers. Sadly Bjorn mounted on his horse was not in this one (Vikings Season 602). Start off with Bryn Celli Ddu.

Bryn Celli Ddu – the Mound in the Dark Grove – is probably the best-known prehistoric monument on Anglesey, and is one of the most evocative archaeological sites in Britain. Like other prehistoric tombs on Anglesey it was constructed to protect and pay respect to the remains of the ancestors.

Bryn Celli Du.

The monument seems to have begun in the later Neolithic around 5,000 years ago, as a ‘henge’ or a ritual enclosure. It consisted of a bank (now lost) around an inner ditch, which enclosed a circle of upright stones. The ditch originally measured 21 meters in diameter. The outer edge can still be seen and several stones from the inner stone circle also survive.

The Bryn Celli Ddu passage tomb consists of a long passage that leads to a polygonal stone chamber. Human bones, both burnt and unburnt, were found in the passage of the tomb. Other finds were few, but included quartz, two flint arrowheads, a stone bead, and limpet and mussel shells.

Back door to Bryn Celli Du.

At dawn on midsummer solstice, shafts of light from the rising sun penetrate down the passageway to light the inner burial chamber. Perhaps this sunlight was meant to bring warmth and life to the ancestors?

Also visit Bodowyr Burial Chamber, but not quite so impressive.

Then it’s down to Newborough Forest and LLanddwyn Island and Bay. Massive car park there and it’s chokka. Beach is infested with rug rats. Dread to think what it must be like in August. Have a stroll along the beach, but Wendy balks at the prospect of walking “all the way” to the island.

Back home for afternoon tea and to battle with the wifi. It’s like being in a Neolithic village, no reliable wifi and a 200 yard to even get a 3G signal. How did they ever cope in those times?

Meanwhile, I wish the Welsh would learn how to spell and use a few vowels, with sensible, pronounceable letter combinations and just give up on everything being in Welsh. It’s the 21st century, your language is never going to be world-class and an essential requirement of career success. Teaching it in schools seems an assault on common sense.

After a refreshing cuppa – hardly drunk any coffee, as my bean to cup machine was a tad too heavy to bring – we set off to visit Porth Cwyfan, which has a church on a man-made island in the sea. The tides out, so being a devout member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I set out across a treacherous rock field to visit said church.

Encounter a guy sunbathing, complete with a wet suit, speargun, barbecue, some Sea Bass and Scallops he’s caught. What a life.

The perfect end to a gorgeous sunny day.

Exercise restraint tonight, no alcohol. Made all the more difficult while trying to watch Netflix with Internet that’s slower than a three legged tortoise dragging along a piece of wet string. Abandon and resort to watching downloads on my iPad.

Already starting with Internet withdrawal symptoms. My fingers seem to have Saint Vitus Dance as they tap our queries on an imaginary keyboard and then my hand grasps for the non-existent mouse.

Yet again the usual lazy start to the day. with the added luxury of Wendy ranting and raving about the difficulty of her knitting pattern. She needs to be thankful there is no software involved, then she’d be as mad as a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy pond.

Call in at Rhosneigr for a stroll around. It’s a really nice village a lot more up market than Aberrfraw where we’re staying, why they even have a Fat Face shop. Mind you only two customers at a time. Us Brits just love any opportunity to create and stand in a queue, I’d rather argue with a wooden Indian.

Drove up to Din Lligwy To view the Neolithic Village. I thought it was Neolithic but turns out it was at the time of the Roman occupation – bet they still didn’t have wifi. Wendy’s absolutely orgasmic with the thrill of it all. Then have a look at Moelfre, nothing really there, so it’s onto Amlwch.

Wendy has her lunch, in port Amlwch car park designed by a Bulimia nervosa suffering town planner, who must’ve been as thin as a gnat’s whisker. Sure you can park for free but there’s no room for you to open your car door – get me back to the land of giant, on the slant, parking slots. Have a stroll around the harbour. Not all that impressive.

Then it’s on up to Cemaes o view this so called spectacular Traeth Bach beach. Turns out to be a tiny shingle beach, really not worth the trip. Have a slope round a disused open caste copper mine. Then call in Llangefni to get tea. For me that’s my usual spicy Italian subway. All in all a brilliant sunny day exploring lots of different places.

Well the Internet has excelled tonight. No connection at all. End up having to walk down the road for 4G to cancel our Asda order, last thing I want is another £45 bottle of Remy Cognac that we use as a placeholder. Can’t find 4G anywhere in the village so have to settle for a very slow 3G connection.

Settle for no alcohol and Netflix downloads on my iPad.

Another glorious sunny day.

The time has come to say goodbye to this Neolithic Island, the land that even the Druids forgot.

Call in at Beaumaris on the way home but the castle doesn’t look that impressive and the car parking is expensive, which is a problem when you have short arms and deep pockets. Decide to save it for another day.

Trouble free journey home. No traffic jams – that makes a change.

Home for lunch.

Well we’ve enjoyed our time in Anglesey. Fortunately the weather was spectacular and we’ve managed to explore much of the Island. Giving serious thought to pitching our caravan here for a year if we ever get it back from France. Very handy as only 2 hours drive and kids cold get some use out of it. Perhaps the Welsh aren’t so bad after all.

One last thing to do, a review of the Ty Arthur accommodation, that’s going to be a work of restrained objectivity – see below.